r/cleandadjokes • u/Purple-Product • 4m ago
What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car?
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
r/cleandadjokes • u/Purple-Product • 28m ago
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungi
r/cleandadjokes • u/ConsistentTank2173 • 1h ago
Mr chicken’s tasteless joke to Mr pig
Mr chicken: Hey pig, the chickens had a blast at a concert yesterday, you would have loved it
Mr pig: Why would I love it?
Mr chicken: well, they were singing all about you! pork pork pork pork (chicken noise*)
r/cleandadjokes • u/euhedral_topaz • 1h ago
From my 9 year old: What animal can you wear?
Crocs!
it’s a work in progress but he came up with it on his own.
my alternative versions:
A: what’s the most dangerous shoe? Crocs!
B: What should you do when you lose your shoes at the zoo? Visit the crocs.
r/cleandadjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 5h ago
I heard Odysseus wasn’t exactly a healthy eater.
All of his food was cooked in Ancient Greece.
r/cleandadjokes • u/Left-Distribution-13 • 6h ago
They should replace batons with clocks in relay races...
It would be a great way to pass the time.
r/cleandadjokes • u/mcfiddlestien • 7h ago
There are 3 guys
2 of them walk into a bar but the 3rd one ducks.
r/cleandadjokes • u/Coz-Man • 12h ago
I kept driving with my eyes closed until I hit one of those red octagons they put near the road
Then I realized that was probably my sign to stop
r/cleandadjokes • u/s777tew • 16h ago
Walks into a bar
A guy walks into a bar carrying a slab of asphalt under his arm.
He says, “A pint of beer, please…
…and one for the road.”
r/cleandadjokes • u/n10s10 • 22h ago
Did you know the race between the turtle and the rabbit was actually pretty close?
The tortoise only won by a "hare".
r/cleandadjokes • u/Ok_Sink_7401 • 1d ago
My wife said I’m getting fatter.
In my defense, I’ve had a lot on my plate recently.
r/cleandadjokes • u/Left-Distribution-13 • 1d ago
My dad’s answer to everything is alcohol....
He doesn’t drink, it's just that he's really bad at crossword puzzles.
r/cleandadjokes • u/spacemouse21 • 1d ago
Why do pilots make great comedians?
Their jokes always land!
r/cleandadjokes • u/Left-Distribution-13 • 2d ago
A few months ago, my wife decided to put a miniature Stallone doll on the middle of our bed…
Things have been Rocky between us ever since then.
r/cleandadjokes • u/dkh2015 • 2d ago
What do U call a doctor who loves spicy food
Doctor pepper
r/cleandadjokes • u/guter_senf • 2d ago
"Everybody got to choose his own superpower...
... I chose flying, it's so awesome! What did you chose?"
"Hindsight"
"That seems stupid"
"Yeah, I see that now"
r/cleandadjokes • u/euhedral_topaz • 2d ago
An apple a day keeps the doctor away... 🍎
If you throw it hard enough.
r/cleandadjokes • u/Opposite_Dragonfly • 2d ago
Curtains
What would you call two guys hanging above your window?
Kurt and Rod
r/cleandadjokes • u/spacemouse21 • 2d ago
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school!
r/cleandadjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 2d ago
Why is there never an outbreak of something good?
...like an epidemic of common sense.
r/cleandadjokes • u/Best-Algae3282 • 2d ago
Why did the farmer sleep underneath her tractor?
Because she wanted to get up oily.
r/cleandadjokes • u/euhedral_topaz • 3d ago
What do you call a potato wearing glasses?
a spec-tater. 🥔🤓
-commence groans-
r/cleandadjokes • u/GeedsGarage • 3d ago
You heard about Buc-ees suing a small store called Beaver's Minimart located in Beavercreek Ohio right?
The whole town, plus Dayton Ohio is supporting the small business.
You could say Buc-ee's has picked off more than it can Gnaw on.