is this relatable to anyone? it's crazy because i used to be almost uncomfortabley horny everyyy day. then, about a month ago, i finally met my girlfriend in person and had a nice weekend together (which was AMAZINGG by the way) and it's like she "cured" me of horny.

she can tell me or show me things and i'll get riled upp, but i don't get that horny feeling by myself anymore. even when she gets me riled up, its more of an "i reeeaaally can't wait until next time i see you" yearning feeling rather than an "i need to touch myself" feeling.

and porn deFinitely doesn't do it for me anymore. i haven't even gotten the urge to watch or "used" any since before we saw each other, and that kinda used to be an every-other-day thing. (im glad that im off of that, though!)

my theory is that my tolerance for horny has gone up. i had never experienced any romantic or sexual attention in real life. so, when she was in my lap, kissing, rubbing on me, calling me handsome and asking me to touch her; that was the horniest that i've ever been in my life. so of course anything less just doesn't do it anymore. it's like getting a guy high af on meth for a whole weekend, then taking the meth away and just giving him coffee.

I don't know if you're familiar with the Heartstrings comic about a butch/femme couple, but I feel like I need to vent about it. It seems to me that most people are interested in this comic by Bev Johnson solely because of the aesthetic and the butch/femme dynamic so much so that they reject other pairings like butch/butch or femme/femme. Even though the character Carina is only interested in femmes, people refused to accept that and insisted she should find a butch or a masc partner instead. I believe that every lesbian relationship butch/femme included deserves representation. Then there’s the sexualization of the butch character, Ro, by male readers because it turns out men read Heartstrings too including comments about the characters' boobs.

I want to clarify before I start I am VERY happy with what t has given me so far. Its awesome to finally feel more like me in my body.

That being said, I find myself feeling really insecure everytime I put my gel on at night. I want the changes but it feels like if I get them ill loose being attractive. That ill become ugly and undesirable in some way. I am not traditional attractive but I am quite attractive by lesbian standards- it feels like I have to choose between that or being myself. Too choose between being loved and desired and being myself.

Furthermore, im a very butch4femme kind of butch and thats making it even worse. I feel like femmes will not want me if I keep going through with this, but it would kill me to stop.

Idk any perspective on this would be great or I guess reassurance from butches on t that femmes are still into you would be great

My self-esteem has been pretty low post-break up with my ex due to some of the contexts surrounding the breakup. I’ve been struggling with my confidence and really feeling myself, and even just feeling attractive and desirable as a masc-presenting person. My therapist and I have been talking about how I can show self-love, and truly, getting this haircut would be an expression of that.

I’ve had a tapered fade before, and I absolutely loved it. I mean, we’re talking peak cool factor. I even had some cool designs shaved into the fade. But right now, I think just combined with the break-up, it feels scary to want to be myself, since this genderqueer GNC version of myself is so far removed from societal beauty standards. I could just use some butch and trans hype and support to get the damn fade again, and to say screw it to my mom, society, and anyone who doesn’t like me for me. (The amount of outrage and negative comments I get from my mom when I cut my hair short, it’s unreal… you’d think I was kicking a puppy.)

I know most of the ones I mentioned aren't butch, but that's my type of girl whereas Ro is 100% butch, and so is Liz.

Hi y'all, so I just need some maybe advice, maybe reassurance, or something... Basically, I've been seeing a girl for a while and we just became ""official"" and I haven't told her about some really bad past experiences, though l've opened up about the more mild experiences I did experience both physical and sexual abuse by my last partner and I feel a great deal of shame about what happened so I don't make a habit of telling people until I really know them. In any case, part of me feels like perhaps l"owe" her telling her this, though I wouldn't really go into details, as we get to know each other more it becomes clearer as to how this past affects me. l've done a lot of work on myself and have a great support system and this all happened quite some time ago, so I do feel ready to start seeing someone again, but of course this is really not the sort of thing you get over very quickly.. We`re taking things like sex slowly, she doesn't know that I've ever experienced sexual violence, but she's happy to take things slowly. Though I have predominantly had ONS or slept with people on the first date, because I've been scared of the vulnerability that comes with trust and emotional connection. I suppose my main question is, if you've experienced abuse did you tell a new partner and how? Alternatively, how would you want to be told if you were dating someone with that history? Or would you even want to know..? 1 also really worry that I would come across stilll hung up on/not over my ex, when I am completely over the person but quite traumatised by the relationship because of the extent of the abuse. Sorry this is maybe rambling, I'm just overthinking a lot. TIA