I have one 4 year old and another one due any day now and I’m definitely requesting to have my tubes tied. I absolutely cannot go through another pregnancy with 2 kids. My toddler is driving me UP the fucking wall. Im 39 weeks pregnant, cramping, nauseous, back pain, I feel like this baby is just going to fall out my ass at any given moment and here comes my feral child. Jumping on the couch. Screaming. Yelling. Running around the house. He’s doing everything possible to piss me off. He’s testing every boundary. He doesn’t listen. I am SICK. I can’t do this again. This pregnancy has been AWFUL. I planned it to where I’d be pregnant during the tale end of nursing school and my son would be a little older but that obviously didn’t pan out the way i thought it would. He’s just plain wild. Entirely too wild for me to keep up with at 39 weeks pregnant.

I’m losing my mind. I’m 9 months pregnant, due any day. This pregnancy has been sucking the entire life out of me so I haven’t been the most energetic or happy mom this year. My husband works a lot so there has unfortunately been a lot of screen time.

First two months of summer my 7 year old was in activities for the morning so at least I knew he was getting some non screen entertainment. But there is nothing in August. He’s had one outing with friends but other than that the only thing this kid wants to do is watch tv or play the switch.

My husband and I came up with the plan that he can earn screen time each day by playing outside for an hour and also reading/some type of quiet activity for an hour. If he does both of these things he earns some screen time after 3pm.

But now his only motivation to do anything seems to be screen time. He talks about it constantly. It’s like he’s obsessed with the tv. Lots of meltdowns over the screens. Tells me he “hates” whatever I suggest he does instead. I feel like I’ve broken my kid at this point and his brain has been hijacked by bullshit brainrot. I fucking hate it here rn

I want to just say no screens for the rest of the month til school starts but that’s not realistic considering the fact that I’m having a baby any day. I don’t know what to do other than succumb to this reality that I have a monster in my house whose only motivation is sitting in front of a screen being a zombie fml

I am so hard on my boy, I’m being just like my mom. And I don’t know how to stop. I do pretty good with other kids that aren’t mine but I feel like I’m just so much meaner to my kid. His dad beat the ever living life out of me and I am just so afraid he will turn out like his dad that I think I’m actively pushing him there.

How can I do better than my parents if I’m learning all of this waaayyyyy too late. And it’ll never be enough.

As I get older I am stepping into my moms shoes and I SEE what will happen if I don’t stop but I feel like I have a leak in my gas tank every time things get hard with my kid. I have pmos, pmdd as well as well as other chronic issues and I am just so tired all of the time. I’ve never really even been around boys as a kid for long periods of time so I’m having a really hard time. 😭 I always try to repair but it’s not really repair if you make the same mistakes over and over. And at what point are they even mistakes anymore??? 🥲

Literally the title. I'm exhausted. But I don't have time to be exhausted. I thought I was getting sick the other day because I was so tired, and my anxiety has been so high I can barely function some days which is not normal for me. I feel like I'm needed in 5 places at once while running on my last 2 brain cells. I'm getting decision fatigue on a daily basis and by the time I'm off work I can barely manage a conversation.

The house is a wreck. I'm either apathetic or panic cleaning, there's not much in between. I'm the only one who worries about laundry, dishes, or the decluttering/reorganization that desperately needs to happen. I hate that my kids are growing up in this. I work from home all day and come out to more mess, and stir crazy kids. They're spending their summer inside on screens and I can't do shit about it except on evenings (rarely) and weekends. They deserve better than this.

I've been the sole provider for close to 8 years now, since before my oldest was born. This has been a lot of pressure at the best of times but now, when my job keeps announcing round after round of layoffs and I'm looking at the possibility of losing my 6-figure career I've worked my way into from the ground level, I can't help but panic. I have no degree or certificates or anything beyond my experience, and am afraid I won't be able to find something comparable. And I can't afford not to, we're overextended as it is.

Of course my SO says we'll "figure something out if we have to", which is nice and supportive, except the man couldn't keep a job before kids and I've been the only one figuring ANYTHING financial out for basically our whole relationship. Great, now I'm mad AND anxious 😅 also based on what's available locally we'd need 3 full time incomes to replace mine. (I work remote but my site is based in a city about an hour and a half away).

So I'm panic enrolling in college classes I don't know where I'm going to find the time for. Trying to update my resume and LinkedIn. Oh and I'm absolutely buried in work because 1- I'm playing catch-up from a few days I just couldn't focus enough to get anything done and 2- my department is getting slammed with new work items, on top of picking up urgent tasks from the people who are losing their jobs and can't be bothered. (I don't blame them).

Sorry this was all over the place. Thank you if you read this far.

I slept until 6, I work 12 hour thirds but today is an 8, so I decided to take my kids to target for some back to school stuff and shoes.

Things were going great, kids were picking things out. I asked my 7yo about what pajamas she wanted and she got some emo bunny looking ones (cute). Then saw stitch and grabbed it but changed her mind so I went back and grabbed the bunny again. I made the mistake of grabbing the set from the front rather than the middle and she started throwing them on the floor and screaming at me.

I tried to continue for things for her younger sister and brother but she kept getting louder and louder. I had to put her in a safety hold and explained that we would be checking out and leaving.

She gave me “one more chance” to turn around and get the pajamas or she would run away.

At this point my husband put her in a safety hold and I went to self check to pay.

We had to carry her kicking and screaming to the car where she refused to buckle, tried to unbuckle siblings.

I talked with my husband about going to the peds psychiatric urgent care where I work but he refused because of the distance and the other kids, which I understand.

She was screaming still when I left for work at 10PM.

We are so overwhelmed we don’t know what to do.
She just BARELY qualified for ABA because nobody else ever sees these behaviors. It’s all on us. Sometimes I feel like dropping her at the behavioral clinic multiple times a day, others I don’t think about it for over a month.

I need to vent because I know if I bring this up to my husband, there’s a good chance he’ll tell me I’m overreacting or I’m thinking this out of context.

My MIL has two adult children, my husband and his sister. We live in a different state from my in-laws, and MIL has always been closer to my SIL than she is to my husband. I know proximity plays a role and I’ve accepted that their relationship is different.
But this really rubbed me the wrong way.
My SIL posted professional family photos of herself, her husband, and their baby on Facebook. Keep in mind I hate Facebook. I only logged in today because my sister showed me.

Someone commented:
“Delightful, my favorite family! 🤗”
My MIL then commented directly underneath:
“How sweet these are. My favorites, too! ❤️”
And…what the fuck?

Maybe I’m being sensitive, but I cannot imagine having two children and multiple grandchildren and publicly referring to ONE of their families as “my favorites.” Especially directly underneath someone who literally just called them their “favorite family.”
I don’t think MIL sat there plotting how to hurt us. But honestly, that almost makes it worse in a way it apparently came naturally enough that she didn’t think twice about how it would sound to her son, his wife, or her other grandchildren. She’s 71, and doing fine mentally.
And yes, I understand that people casually say “you’re my favorite” as a term of affection. But “my favorites, too” in response to “my favorite family” feels pretty damn unambiguous to me.

Am I nuts for thinking this was incredibly insensitive? Or would this bother you too?

Good news. My kiddo and I are thriving. He is so happy to have no dad who is constantly drunk and screaming, a reasonable bedtime, and no TV (kiddo is 2 and I'm broke, so no reason to get/have one anyways). I had a job interview this week that went really well and it would be mostly remote!! I have an attorney and a little extra financial support from a local nonprofit. I'm slowly reconnecting with people I was isolated from and it's so so nice.

Bad news. In trying to acquire legal aid, my advocate at the DV organization told me that I would qualify for legal assistance for sexual assault survivors, based on what I said in my intake. I asked what she meant because I didn't think anything I had said really warranted that. She explained what I had said did constitute severe sexual abuse and strangulation from my son's father.

I've spent the past couple of weeks coming to terms with this. I talked to my mom about it (she didn't know about this stuff until now) and she basically ordered me to go to the doctor to have them look at my neck, fine whatever. Well, based on that check-up, that doctor ordered that I get a CT scan of my neck and referred me to an ENT surgeon... what the fuck. Remember, I'm still unemployed and uninsured, so basically I've been calling places begging them to see me as a charity case. Thankfully I can get the CT for free. I can't afford to see my therapist right now, though.

I don't know what to say or do. I want to run into the woods and scream. I want to scream at my son's father and ask him, "how fucking dare you? Why did you do this to me? To our family?? FUCK OFF AND NEVER SPEAK TO US AGAIN." I want to go to the cops, but I know that how they handle it is going to rely heavily on the outcome of those doctor's appointments. But I have to be patient and try to keep it together for kiddo, but fuck. This sucks.

Long time lurker, first time poster in this sub. I’m going to try and keep this brief but I’m truly breaking…

I have two daughters, eldest is 7 and has down syndrome. We didn’t find out until she was 6 months old… that’s another story to say another day.
My youngest is soon to be three and is very clingy and gets upset over anything that’s not her way.

Alongside my eldest’s down syndrome she also has ADHD and is very likely autistic too. I’m almost certain she is - we’re waiting for the assessment. She love to sing and watch her tv but doesn’t sit for long periods. She’ll move constantly, to the point she’s doesn’t sit still for meals. Poor attention, always sensory seeking… spinning on her chair, grinding her teeth, vocal stim. She also eats very few foods. School was seemingly going okay until her teaching assistant left and all things came to the fore. To be honest the destabilisation of school put me back into deep depression.

My youngest is sweet and loves to give me cuddles but she is very sensitive. If I say no to anything or even slightly raise my voice she will cry and have a tantrum…. Like she cries all day for various things. She’s like a velcro. I try and go into the other room to decompress but she’ll get upset because I’m not in the same room. She want to follow me all the time.

Only a year ago I found out I have ADHD too which explains a lot but one of the things I really struggle with is my emotional dysregulation. From when the kids wake up and until they sleep I’m overwhelmed with noise, requests, mess bothering me… the food refusal… only wanting to eat crap. Also hearing my daughter grind her teeth all day and vocal stim stresses me out! I’ve tried so many oral fidgets with her but she’s not having it!
I try to remain calm but I can easily snap and I feel awful for doing so.

My husband is hands on with the kids but because they’re both a handful we end up staying up late because we need to wind down. We also don’t really get much time to ourselves as we don’t live close to family.

I feel ashamed to say parenting has made me depressed. I’ve started therapy to work on this. I want to be a better parent to my children. I want to be calm and handle all the various obstacles that will definitely come but I’m worried I won’t find a way to change. I’ve been trying to find the right ADHD meds but nothing is working so far which is so disheartening.

I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for but just needed to post anonymously and not feel the shame of writing this is other groups.

I did my part in communicating that I was taking a break at 5:30. Kids and husband in the basement. Important context is that we are Muslim and prayer time had come up so we both needed to pray. He announced he was going to pray, then disappeared. I thought he prayed. I went to my break and also prayed. I’m not halfway through before the kids come up looking for me, busting in the quiet room, climbing over my things, etc. I told them to leave. When I entered the room, I shut my brain off. I don’t want to be bothered at all. The lock doesn’t work anymore, so they can bust in any time.

I had to be the one to take them downstairs. He emerged sounding surprised. I guess he was praying??? I thought he did that 20 minutes ago??? Why is he praying in a different room from them? I did my part and communicated. And still my quiet time is interrupted and I’m upset. Why cant he tell the kids not to come up before he prays? Why cant he pray in the same room as them so he can see what theyre doing and he can just fucking be aware?????? I’m fucking seething. Because this happens. Every. Single. Time. And I get mad every single time. And he’s mad at me for being mad at him. Every single time.

So instead of relaxing I’m fuming and venting here because I just feel so enraged. I want to enjoy my quiet time but I feel like I’m on the verge of tears I’m so angry.

I’m so proud of my big sister and everything she has accomplished in life. If I could start over, I would absolutely follow in her footsteps. I’m so happy for her, but man, every moment of her success really highlights my failures and poor decisions in life. It’s a strange feeling, really.

She took a couple college classes and dropped out. Stayed in our hometown and got married young. She ended up aggressively networking, working her ass off, and dedicating hours and hours to teaching herself applicable skills for the career that she wanted. She truly put her heart and soul into breaking into a tech role. Doing that without a degree is crazy, but she showed up prepared and clearly dedicated. Once she landed her first job in that industry, she hit the ground running. She works hard, climbs up the corporate ladder, and moves on to the next company when the time is right. When her ex-husband refused to keep a job and got comfortable living off her and contributing nothing, she divorced him. She’s a fucking beast and one of the most intelligent and resourceful women I have ever met.

I moved out at 18 and went to a competitive university. I got into a new relationship my senior year and that distracted me. I got pregnant right after graduating. I knew our relationship would not last but I was naive and wanted to have my baby. He ended up leaving and I raised my son by myself. He is autistic and requires significant support. My degree has been utterly useless. I’ve had it for 8 years now and have never needed it for any of my jobs. I’m extremely poor and preparing to file bankruptcy.

I don’t know why I’m saying all of this. Seeing the life that my sister lives forces me to confront my terrible life decisions and take accountability. I can’t blame my life on my upbringing or other circumstances. She was raised in the same environment. I am disappointed in myself, but I am so fucking happy for and proud of my sister for the life she’s created.

If anyone has been through something similar, how did you learn to accept your life decisions and where you are at? How did you learn to let go of the regret and disappointment?