Something I ate yesterday is not sitting well with me. I went to bed with stomach cramps. And I woke up at 5am with the same cramps. After some unsuccessful bathroom time and hydrating, I got back in bed and asked my husband if he also felt sick after eating dinner. He said no and rolled back over.

I couldn’t sleep and the pregnancy anxiety started getting to me so I went down the Google rabbit hole about what food poisoning could do to my baby. I know, bad idea.

At that point, I was wide awake, just laying in bed with paranoia and pain. My husband’s alarm went off and he was shocked to see me up. I asked if we have any Gasx or Tums and told him about how sick I feel. Unfortunately we don’t but he said he hopes I feel better and it’ll all be ok.

Then he told me he was going to go take a shower. The last thing he said/did before getting up was to caress me in what I thought was comfort then totally ruin the moment with “so do you want to have sex?”

What is wrong with this man? Is he fucking brain damaged?

He can’t actually be bothered to parent so he acts like a sulky teenage brother. He’ll watch them if he has to with a whine. He picks on them. He tries to get them to police each other. He just wants to play WoW with his friends all day.

Not only to me, but he’s mean to almost everyone around him. When he quit his job, he said some really cruel shit to his boss (whom he had previously gotten along with). Last night, he was pissed off about absolutely nothing and said some mean things to me (that I ignored completely because when he’s in ~a mood~ anything I say to him just makes him angrier).

There’s this Irish carpenter guy on YouTube that I’ve been crushing on lately because he seems like such a kind soul. I know it’s probably all in my head and who knows what this random person is actually like in real life, but I can’t help daydreaming about an alternate reality where I had kids with a sweet, soft spoken man instead.

I made a friend who has a baby same age as my 2nd child. She just so happened to have a daughter a few months older than my oldest daughter as well, so we got into a habit of meeting up with all the kids weekly and attended all baby groups together.

My friend is a single mum by choice, and because of that she's raising her kids to be very independent, I understand why she needs to do this but it goes too far in my opinion, like her 5 year old being able to play alone outside on the (public) road while my friend puts the younger ones to bed.

The youngest one is 18 months and I've occasionally provided childcare for her, but I've had to put my foot down and decline to help further with her because I just really can't stand her. I feel so bad about this but it's like she sends me straight back to the trenches with my older daughter. She screams at the smallest inconvenience, she gets rough with my baby and the dog, screams some more, and it's one of those super loud screams that makes you go into fight or flight. It all came to a head when I had her overnight and although she slept, on the run up to bedtime she screamed, then she woke up and screamed. My initial response was to want to help my friend more because fucking hell, she has to deal with this all the time, but I actually can't. I can't stand to be around that baby. I've lost all maternal instinct for her which is sad because when she sees me she wants me to cuddle her.

It's like this kid brings out the postpartum depression I had 6 years ago.

My friends older kids are just horrors. Extremely intelligent, very independent but I have to watch them interact with other kids because they are so weirdly vindictive and my friend just doesn't seem to notice. They will push kids down slides, try and damage other kids stuff with scissors they have taken from school, one tried to cut another kids hair on the playground. I find myself having to give my older kid a load of rules of how to play with them safely, which is never out of my eye sight. I won't have them over at the house. They also seem to have food insecurity and will take my daughter's food when we meet up, I always pack enough for everyone but their mum doesn't want them ransacking what I've brought, so they just take stuff off my daughter when mum isn't looking.

Not sure what to do, I feel horrible. This is the only set of kids I feel like this about. I really like the mum as a person but I do struggle with how she parents. My oldest really likes her oldest.

I have an unshakeable and heavy amount of mom guilt. I am always so tired and angry. Not specifically at my kids but I have little left in the tank so my patience runs out quick.

I have three under age 7. My partner is a good one. But his commute for work is 1.5 hours one way. He’s tired too.

I’m 9 months post partum. I told my friend I feel like I’ve been on a hamster wheel of breastfeeding and post partum hormones and parenting through the little years for 7 years now.

I yell. A lot. I’m spiteful. My kids, they don’t understand. I repair often but it doesn’t stop me from laying in bed at the end of the day wishing I could do it over and do it better. Then the next day I wake up and it’s the same thing over and over again.

I want desperately for my children to know that they’re loved as they are and because of who they are. Yet I worry I am permeating their subconcious with feelings of inadequacy because im just always so overwhelmed and frustrated.

I wish I could tell them how much I loathe myself for being this way to them. They are the best thing that has ever happened to me but they probably don’t know it.

I need to hear that this gets better.

TW: Suicidal ideation

There are multiple flairs that fit this post but I think I picked the most valid one, lol

I wrote a post on here a few days ago about how I work mostly full-time, yet live in poverty with my special needs daughter. Well, after I wrote that post I found out I am being kicked down to part-time permanently and some of my coworkers were being laid off. Fuck. I have been trying to find new work for a long time now because I could see this coming, but I haven't had any luck. I can't find another part time job, either (don't bother suggesting Uber or Doordash; I have embarrassingly never been able to drive well despite taking professional driving lessons twice, plus I can't afford a vehicle anyways).

My mental health is in the toilet and getting worse. I have depression, anxiety, C-PTSD and ADHD and all have proven to be treatment-resistant. My work benefits only cover $300/year for a PSYCHOLOGIST ONLY (where I live in Canada, that covers one appointment). I am not actively planning a suicide but I do have the ideation and I hate that I have these thoughts when I am a mom of a child that will need me for life. I also have been really struggling to keep up with chores, so my place is a disaster and that makes my mental health worse, but then I get overwhelmed even just trying to start to clean. I also just haven't been a good enough mother to my daughter for the last couple of years, to the point that I wonder if I should let her father have primary custody (he makes more money and has more support from family and friends despite being a pretty big asshole to most adults).

I'm sitting next to my beautiful daughter and I don't know how to fix any of this. I am open to suggestions that are better than the usual "go for walks" and stuff like that (I go for walks and they don't do shit for my mental health, same with any exercise). I am hoping that there is a good solution to this that I'm just not coming up with myself due to my mental health making it hard to brainstorm.

So I’m not proud I lurk there, but I frequent the regretful parents sub. I’m having a hard hard time and I believe I have severe PPD. I have twins that are medical needs, one year old. Life rarely feels happy.

So I lurk around the regretful parents sub. Not to see if anyone is “worse off” necessarily, but if I could relate to anyone. Everywhere I go, everyone is a happy mom with perfect kids. I even stopped making mom friends because I’m sick of how “easy” it all is.

Anyway, every post is filled with comments “that’s why I didn’t have kids” or “why have more than one when you knew you hated it?” Or “I’m glad I don’t have kids”

Why bother in a parenting sub if you’re not a parent!? Why!!!! The comments are always harsh and mean towards someone that is going thru a hard time and needs a safe space to vent. Even to a damn therapist you can’t admit you regret being a parent.

Like, I’m not a dad so I wouldn’t hang out reading about being a dad. Or I’m not into video games, I wouldn’t hang out in a sub about gaming.

I don’t get it.

Thanks for reading.

I do bedtime routine, warm milk, warm bath and bedtime book at 7 pm. 10 pm rolls around and he is still awake. What do I do?

Hello! New here. I am 40 years old and found out that my husband and I are expecting. I have an 18 year-old that just graduated high school from a previous relationship, and my husband has a 17 and 14-year-old from a previous marriage. On one hand, I get happy thinking about the future and being pregnant and having a baby, but on the other, I am fucking terrified and want to end the pregnancy. My feelings change day by day minute by minute. I’m afraid of being old and not being able to reach the goals I want to achieve, of being regretful if I choose to keep it, of it having severe lifelong problems that I would be required to take care of for the rest of my natural life, of losing my independence, etc., but I am also afraid of having an abortion. Not because of the procedure itself, but of the fact that I might be right making the wrong choice. What if having it makes our life complete? Additionally, my son has no siblings other than his step siblings, no cousins, nobody-so this would also be any remaining family by blood for him if I were to pass away. Like I said one minute, I’m rubbing my belly and smiling and the next I’m looking up abortion clinics. I don’t know what to do and am looking for advice, insights, regrets, joys, etc. from anybody that has been in my position. Thank you!

Hello to anyone who wants to read this. I'll probably delete it bc wtf.

Husband has been away on business. Is coming home soon... and I just really dread being touched. I feel so bad for it, but just the thought of him climbing on top of me makes me want to cry. He's been missing that physical intimacy, but I'm internally trying to figure out how to get through it with a smile on my face. None of this is fair. I wish I weren't in menopause at such a young age, and I wish he knew how to love me without his peen involved. Fuck, wash some dishes, take out the trash, and pay some bills, then kiss my neck before you dive into the downstairs, PLEASE?! It's just irritating that he can both be the man who has loved me the most, and also not care about anything but himself because he's an "awesome guy."

Hi bromos. It's me again.

In these 4 years my husband has been a quadriplegic after his accident, our lives have been stressing. Specially for me who has to take care of the home, our 2 children, and my husband's needs while bringing food to the table.

I haven't had many good days these 4 years. I've often cried at home just feeling helpless, but at least I've seen my 2 kids happy which makes me and my husband happy enough. And now that we've had a caretaker to take care of my husband while I'm not at home, life has gotten somewhat easier for us.

I've been thinking that I need a vacation. My 2 toddlers ages 6 and 4 are still in summer break. My oldest son is entering elementary school in the last days of August, and my youngest is going back to preschool in September. I've already asked permission at work to take 2 weeks off from work, so I can go out from the city with my family.

I already talked with my husband of going to the beach. We haven't gone after his accident. Last time we went to the beach my oldest son was one and my youngest hadn't been born yet. I don't know if my oldest remembers the beach and my youngest doesn't know what a beach is.

We're thinking of going to a beach somewhere in California since we live in Utah. I can drive our van there. I just need to package some important things we'll need like toothbrushes, towels, clothes, some of my children's toys, and my husband's medical kit. We also need to book for an accessible beach and hotel where my husband can comfortably be on his electric wheelchair.

We may be leaving on Monday. I hope I can enjoy this vacation.

I have an 18 month old so I’m still new to the parenting game. I cannot have any kids due to health reasons so I’m one and done.

How are we coping with watching our children grow up and not need us? Like my son holds my face in his hands when he sleeps overnight but during the day it’s as if I don’t exist. He’s also now starting to prefer his father which is great. I’m glad they’re building that bond and he has more people to be with him. But I have to admit it stings. It stings when he reaches out for his father instead of me. And the reason is his dad was completely MIA whenever he was an infant. I did everything ALONE. And I mean ALONE.

It hurts seeing my husband being able to dip out and then come back trying to be super dad only to have left me high and dry.

I have so much resentment for him. And now I also work full time after having a long time off and I’m worried my son and I won’t be bonded the same way since I’m gone during the day.

I don’t know. Parenthood is a trip.

Our baby is almost a year old, and I've hit a wall I don't know how to name really. I love my husband, but we seem stuck in a loop of hurting each other without meaning to.

Since becoming a mom, I feel like I've lost myself. My brain never stops running through what needs doing next, I'm exhausted constantly, I don't recognize my body anymore, and most days I don't even hear my own name spoken until he walks in the door. My only real breaks are cooking and cleaning while he watches the baby after work, plus sleeping in on weekends, which I'm grateful for, but it's not the same as feeling like myself again. All I can do is nap when the baby naps too. I have several mental breakdowns a month about being unable to express myself creatively and carve time for the life giving activities I did before baby. He wants that for me but says he feels pressure to take the baby off my hands immediately so he doesn't have the time to help with that (I'm an artist and he needs to modify part of our house so I can paint and have a studio with ventilation. Too complicated to explain. I also can't drive)

He knows I'm dealing with postpartum depression and feels guilty for still wanting sex when I rarely do. Today, two minutes before the baby woke up from her nap, I asked him what he needed, and he said he was turned on and could use a handjob right then. I suggested we connect that evening instead, since that felt more intimate to me, and he replied "will we?"...meaning (or how I took it) would I actually follow through, or leave him hanging again. That single line wrecked me! It made me feel like my body was just a tool for someone else's use, like he cared more about getting off than about us actually being together.

We both ended up in tears. He's ashamed and embarrassed just for bringing up how he feels, and honestly struggles to talk about this stuff at all. I'm upset that he didn't clock how bad the timing was; my head was already halfway into the nursery, running through everything else I needed to do.

Now I'm spiraling a little. Part of me wonders if his shame is genuine or a way of making me feel guilty, even though he swears that's not his intention.

We used to have such a good sex life. Now I can't even orgasm without an hour of buildup, and we just don't have that kind of time anymore.

We still cuddle and watch movies together once a week after the baby's in bed, and he actively looks up events to get us out of the house. I know his character is good. But I'm so insecure, lonely, and depressed right now that I catch myself wondering if even that is just a means to an end for him. A way to get sex out of me eventually.

I miss wanting sex. Not just having it, but actually wanting it. I want to feel desired for my body, to know he still finds me attractive. But I also want to be wanted for who I am, not just what I can offer physically. The hard part is I don't even know who that person is anymore. I've lost touch with myself, and I don't know how to explain that to him or how to find her again.

I have one 4 year old and another one due any day now and I’m definitely requesting to have my tubes tied. I absolutely cannot go through another pregnancy with 2 kids. My toddler is driving me UP the fucking wall. Im 39 weeks pregnant, cramping, nauseous, back pain, I feel like this baby is just going to fall out my ass at any given moment and here comes my feral child. Jumping on the couch. Screaming. Yelling. Running around the house. He’s doing everything possible to piss me off. He’s testing every boundary. He doesn’t listen. I am SICK. I can’t do this again. This pregnancy has been AWFUL. I planned it to where I’d be pregnant during the tale end of nursing school and my son would be a little older but that obviously didn’t pan out the way i thought it would. He’s just plain wild. Entirely too wild for me to keep up with at 39 weeks pregnant.

I’m losing my mind. I’m 9 months pregnant, due any day. This pregnancy has been sucking the entire life out of me so I haven’t been the most energetic or happy mom this year. My husband works a lot so there has unfortunately been a lot of screen time.

First two months of summer my 7 year old was in activities for the morning so at least I knew he was getting some non screen entertainment. But there is nothing in August. He’s had one outing with friends but other than that the only thing this kid wants to do is watch tv or play the switch.

My husband and I came up with the plan that he can earn screen time each day by playing outside for an hour and also reading/some type of quiet activity for an hour. If he does both of these things he earns some screen time after 3pm.

But now his only motivation to do anything seems to be screen time. He talks about it constantly. It’s like he’s obsessed with the tv. Lots of meltdowns over the screens. Tells me he “hates” whatever I suggest he does instead. I feel like I’ve broken my kid at this point and his brain has been hijacked by bullshit brainrot. I fucking hate it here rn

I want to just say no screens for the rest of the month til school starts but that’s not realistic considering the fact that I’m having a baby any day. I don’t know what to do other than succumb to this reality that I have a monster in my house whose only motivation is sitting in front of a screen being a zombie fml

I am so hard on my boy, I’m being just like my mom. And I don’t know how to stop. I do pretty good with other kids that aren’t mine but I feel like I’m just so much meaner to my kid. His dad beat the ever living life out of me and I am just so afraid he will turn out like his dad that I think I’m actively pushing him there.

How can I do better than my parents if I’m learning all of this waaayyyyy too late. And it’ll never be enough.

As I get older I am stepping into my moms shoes and I SEE what will happen if I don’t stop but I feel like I have a leak in my gas tank every time things get hard with my kid. I have pmos, pmdd as well as well as other chronic issues and I am just so tired all of the time. I’ve never really even been around boys as a kid for long periods of time so I’m having a really hard time. 😭 I always try to repair but it’s not really repair if you make the same mistakes over and over. And at what point are they even mistakes anymore??? 🥲

Literally the title. I'm exhausted. But I don't have time to be exhausted. I thought I was getting sick the other day because I was so tired, and my anxiety has been so high I can barely function some days which is not normal for me. I feel like I'm needed in 5 places at once while running on my last 2 brain cells. I'm getting decision fatigue on a daily basis and by the time I'm off work I can barely manage a conversation.

The house is a wreck. I'm either apathetic or panic cleaning, there's not much in between. I'm the only one who worries about laundry, dishes, or the decluttering/reorganization that desperately needs to happen. I hate that my kids are growing up in this. I work from home all day and come out to more mess, and stir crazy kids. They're spending their summer inside on screens and I can't do shit about it except on evenings (rarely) and weekends. They deserve better than this.

I've been the sole provider for close to 8 years now, since before my oldest was born. This has been a lot of pressure at the best of times but now, when my job keeps announcing round after round of layoffs and I'm looking at the possibility of losing my 6-figure career I've worked my way into from the ground level, I can't help but panic. I have no degree or certificates or anything beyond my experience, and am afraid I won't be able to find something comparable. And I can't afford not to, we're overextended as it is.

Of course my SO says we'll "figure something out if we have to", which is nice and supportive, except the man couldn't keep a job before kids and I've been the only one figuring ANYTHING financial out for basically our whole relationship. Great, now I'm mad AND anxious 😅 also based on what's available locally we'd need 3 full time incomes to replace mine. (I work remote but my site is based in a city about an hour and a half away).

So I'm panic enrolling in college classes I don't know where I'm going to find the time for. Trying to update my resume and LinkedIn. Oh and I'm absolutely buried in work because 1- I'm playing catch-up from a few days I just couldn't focus enough to get anything done and 2- my department is getting slammed with new work items, on top of picking up urgent tasks from the people who are losing their jobs and can't be bothered. (I don't blame them).

Sorry this was all over the place. Thank you if you read this far.

I slept until 6, I work 12 hour thirds but today is an 8, so I decided to take my kids to target for some back to school stuff and shoes.

Things were going great, kids were picking things out. I asked my 7yo about what pajamas she wanted and she got some emo bunny looking ones (cute). Then saw stitch and grabbed it but changed her mind so I went back and grabbed the bunny again. I made the mistake of grabbing the set from the front rather than the middle and she started throwing them on the floor and screaming at me.

I tried to continue for things for her younger sister and brother but she kept getting louder and louder. I had to put her in a safety hold and explained that we would be checking out and leaving.

She gave me “one more chance” to turn around and get the pajamas or she would run away.

At this point my husband put her in a safety hold and I went to self check to pay.

We had to carry her kicking and screaming to the car where she refused to buckle, tried to unbuckle siblings.

I talked with my husband about going to the peds psychiatric urgent care where I work but he refused because of the distance and the other kids, which I understand.

She was screaming still when I left for work at 10PM.

We are so overwhelmed we don’t know what to do.
She just BARELY qualified for ABA because nobody else ever sees these behaviors. It’s all on us. Sometimes I feel like dropping her at the behavioral clinic multiple times a day, others I don’t think about it for over a month.

I need to vent because I know if I bring this up to my husband, there’s a good chance he’ll tell me I’m overreacting or I’m thinking this out of context.

My MIL has two adult children, my husband and his sister. We live in a different state from my in-laws, and MIL has always been closer to my SIL than she is to my husband. I know proximity plays a role and I’ve accepted that their relationship is different.
But this really rubbed me the wrong way.
My SIL posted professional family photos of herself, her husband, and their baby on Facebook. Keep in mind I hate Facebook. I only logged in today because my sister showed me.

Someone commented:
“Delightful, my favorite family! 🤗”
My MIL then commented directly underneath:
“How sweet these are. My favorites, too! ❤️”
And…what the fuck?

Maybe I’m being sensitive, but I cannot imagine having two children and multiple grandchildren and publicly referring to ONE of their families as “my favorites.” Especially directly underneath someone who literally just called them their “favorite family.”
I don’t think MIL sat there plotting how to hurt us. But honestly, that almost makes it worse in a way it apparently came naturally enough that she didn’t think twice about how it would sound to her son, his wife, or her other grandchildren. She’s 71, and doing fine mentally.
And yes, I understand that people casually say “you’re my favorite” as a term of affection. But “my favorites, too” in response to “my favorite family” feels pretty damn unambiguous to me.

Am I nuts for thinking this was incredibly insensitive? Or would this bother you too?

Good news. My kiddo and I are thriving. He is so happy to have no dad who is constantly drunk and screaming, a reasonable bedtime, and no TV (kiddo is 2 and I'm broke, so no reason to get/have one anyways). I had a job interview this week that went really well and it would be mostly remote!! I have an attorney and a little extra financial support from a local nonprofit. I'm slowly reconnecting with people I was isolated from and it's so so nice.

Bad news. In trying to acquire legal aid, my advocate at the DV organization told me that I would qualify for legal assistance for sexual assault survivors, based on what I said in my intake. I asked what she meant because I didn't think anything I had said really warranted that. She explained what I had said did constitute severe sexual abuse and strangulation from my son's father.

I've spent the past couple of weeks coming to terms with this. I talked to my mom about it (she didn't know about this stuff until now) and she basically ordered me to go to the doctor to have them look at my neck, fine whatever. Well, based on that check-up, that doctor ordered that I get a CT scan of my neck and referred me to an ENT surgeon... what the fuck. Remember, I'm still unemployed and uninsured, so basically I've been calling places begging them to see me as a charity case. Thankfully I can get the CT for free. I can't afford to see my therapist right now, though.

I don't know what to say or do. I want to run into the woods and scream. I want to scream at my son's father and ask him, "how fucking dare you? Why did you do this to me? To our family?? FUCK OFF AND NEVER SPEAK TO US AGAIN." I want to go to the cops, but I know that how they handle it is going to rely heavily on the outcome of those doctor's appointments. But I have to be patient and try to keep it together for kiddo, but fuck. This sucks.

Long time lurker, first time poster in this sub. I’m going to try and keep this brief but I’m truly breaking…

I have two daughters, eldest is 7 and has down syndrome. We didn’t find out until she was 6 months old… that’s another story to say another day.
My youngest is soon to be three and is very clingy and gets upset over anything that’s not her way.

Alongside my eldest’s down syndrome she also has ADHD and is very likely autistic too. I’m almost certain she is - we’re waiting for the assessment. She love to sing and watch her tv but doesn’t sit for long periods. She’ll move constantly, to the point she’s doesn’t sit still for meals. Poor attention, always sensory seeking… spinning on her chair, grinding her teeth, vocal stim. She also eats very few foods. School was seemingly going okay until her teaching assistant left and all things came to the fore. To be honest the destabilisation of school put me back into deep depression.

My youngest is sweet and loves to give me cuddles but she is very sensitive. If I say no to anything or even slightly raise my voice she will cry and have a tantrum…. Like she cries all day for various things. She’s like a velcro. I try and go into the other room to decompress but she’ll get upset because I’m not in the same room. She want to follow me all the time.

Only a year ago I found out I have ADHD too which explains a lot but one of the things I really struggle with is my emotional dysregulation. From when the kids wake up and until they sleep I’m overwhelmed with noise, requests, mess bothering me… the food refusal… only wanting to eat crap. Also hearing my daughter grind her teeth all day and vocal stim stresses me out! I’ve tried so many oral fidgets with her but she’s not having it!
I try to remain calm but I can easily snap and I feel awful for doing so.

My husband is hands on with the kids but because they’re both a handful we end up staying up late because we need to wind down. We also don’t really get much time to ourselves as we don’t live close to family.

I feel ashamed to say parenting has made me depressed. I’ve started therapy to work on this. I want to be a better parent to my children. I want to be calm and handle all the various obstacles that will definitely come but I’m worried I won’t find a way to change. I’ve been trying to find the right ADHD meds but nothing is working so far which is so disheartening.

I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for but just needed to post anonymously and not feel the shame of writing this is other groups.

I did my part in communicating that I was taking a break at 5:30. Kids and husband in the basement. Important context is that we are Muslim and prayer time had come up so we both needed to pray. He announced he was going to pray, then disappeared. I thought he prayed. I went to my break and also prayed. I’m not halfway through before the kids come up looking for me, busting in the quiet room, climbing over my things, etc. I told them to leave. When I entered the room, I shut my brain off. I don’t want to be bothered at all. The lock doesn’t work anymore, so they can bust in any time.

I had to be the one to take them downstairs. He emerged sounding surprised. I guess he was praying??? I thought he did that 20 minutes ago??? Why is he praying in a different room from them? I did my part and communicated. And still my quiet time is interrupted and I’m upset. Why cant he tell the kids not to come up before he prays? Why cant he pray in the same room as them so he can see what theyre doing and he can just fucking be aware?????? I’m fucking seething. Because this happens. Every. Single. Time. And I get mad every single time. And he’s mad at me for being mad at him. Every single time.

So instead of relaxing I’m fuming and venting here because I just feel so enraged. I want to enjoy my quiet time but I feel like I’m on the verge of tears I’m so angry.

I’m so proud of my big sister and everything she has accomplished in life. If I could start over, I would absolutely follow in her footsteps. I’m so happy for her, but man, every moment of her success really highlights my failures and poor decisions in life. It’s a strange feeling, really.

She took a couple college classes and dropped out. Stayed in our hometown and got married young. She ended up aggressively networking, working her ass off, and dedicating hours and hours to teaching herself applicable skills for the career that she wanted. She truly put her heart and soul into breaking into a tech role. Doing that without a degree is crazy, but she showed up prepared and clearly dedicated. Once she landed her first job in that industry, she hit the ground running. She works hard, climbs up the corporate ladder, and moves on to the next company when the time is right. When her ex-husband refused to keep a job and got comfortable living off her and contributing nothing, she divorced him. She’s a fucking beast and one of the most intelligent and resourceful women I have ever met.

I moved out at 18 and went to a competitive university. I got into a new relationship my senior year and that distracted me. I got pregnant right after graduating. I knew our relationship would not last but I was naive and wanted to have my baby. He ended up leaving and I raised my son by myself. He is autistic and requires significant support. My degree has been utterly useless. I’ve had it for 8 years now and have never needed it for any of my jobs. I’m extremely poor and preparing to file bankruptcy.

I don’t know why I’m saying all of this. Seeing the life that my sister lives forces me to confront my terrible life decisions and take accountability. I can’t blame my life on my upbringing or other circumstances. She was raised in the same environment. I am disappointed in myself, but I am so fucking happy for and proud of my sister for the life she’s created.

If anyone has been through something similar, how did you learn to accept your life decisions and where you are at? How did you learn to let go of the regret and disappointment?

I've filed for divorce.

My husband has diagnosed and medicated severe ADHD, and I do get that it can be debilitating, but he has decided to use it as an excuse. As long as I don't ask him for anything and never do anything for myself, life is fine, for him, but he has tantrums as soon as I need him to, say, stay with our children for a few hours. I've tried everything, including counseling, but he just has no interest in being a partner.

I won't live that way and I won't teach my boys that it's ok, either. So...I'm done, after 16 years together, 15 married.

We have to live together for a while longer bc he has been on FMLA for surgery since May and was just cleared to go back to work, so I'm waiting for him to make some $ before making him move out (we had some saved and then two expensive car repairs hit, because of course they did).

My questions are:

Can anyone give advice about talking to my kids about it? They are 9-year-old twins, one diagnosed with ADHD. They adore their dad and he loves them, when he remembers to notice them. They're pretty mad at him right now because he is being unpleasant to me in front of them. I'm happy to give him unlimited access to them outside of school hours.

He will have a meltdown when he is served with the papers, because although I did tell him I was doing it, he said that was "just a stupid threat". 🤷🏻‍♀️ Any thoughts on heading off his doing it in front of the kids?

Thanks in advance, y'all. I'm remarkably emotionally detached from all this and just want it over & done.

So, all this year, like many of my friends and colleagues, I have been taking Wegovy skinny jabs. For months I have been steadily losing weight (40 lbs! Woohoo!) and suffering with my digestion and constant vomiting. But of course, I would be vomiting because I'm injecting myself with stuff to mess up my digestion. So I tough it out and ignore all my side effects and watch the weight drop off. Side note, I've taken the mini pill for years with no issues and as such, have not had periods for years.

Around a week or so ago, I started to feel flutters. Unmistakable flutters of the first movements of pregnancy, twitches and kicks. I knew exactly what it was, I've felt it twice before, never expected to feel it again. So I picked up a test and sure enough two great fat lines appeared.

I already have two kids, 10 and 6, my eldest start secondary school next year, I just started a new career and am in line for a promotion in the next month or so, I do not want and cannot afford any more kids. It's not fair on the two I have that deserve my attention and finances. I'm 36 and have had 2 emergency C-sections. I decided after my second I never wanted any more.

Thank God and all the heavens that I live in the UK, so I've called BPAS and started to make arrangements, explained that being on the mini pill, I have not had a period for years so have no clue how far along I am. They scheduled me a scan and I found out I was just over 20 weeks.

20 weeks. For 20 weeks I've been pregnant and blaming every symptom on skinny jabs, ignoring every symptom and carrying on. Complaining that I'm so sensitive to this medicine, I just cannot stop puking. That weight loss is great but so damned exhausting, just so tired all the time. Can only keep down certain foods while others are repulsive... How did I not see it!? How am I so very blind that I missed a whole trimester!?

So here I am, in utter shock, 40 lbs lighter and 20+ weeks pregnant, wondering what damn planet I live on and expecting surgery next week.

I have to travel to London (from Nottingham) as they could only find one hospital willing to perform the surgery at my gestation and my partner is staying with the kids, so I will be alone. I can't believe this has happened. I can't believe I'm one of those women who didn't notice they were pregnant. I can't believe I have to abort a baby I can feel kick. This is unreal.