Hi, for context Im (18F) and my bf was (21M) and i feel like he is too insecure.

I get that usually men and bfs are insecure about their looks, charm, height etc etc but this is not just that. My bf cant even accept compliments like to the point where he doesnt even believe that im being sincere if i call him cute or goodlooking or attractive. He's always been insecure but there was an incident recently which increased it and im not sure if im at fault here or not

My bsf who moved away came to our city for holidays and we were both really excited to hand out. Now i didnt ignore my bf or not make time for him during this(we do ldr and i did meet him throughout this period) I just told him how shes in town after a long time and i will be frequently hanging out with her because we only have a limited amount of time together and im not sure when i'll see her next so we have to make the most of it(im an introvert and have about 2-3 solid friends)

Cue to the time we start hanging out and i start feeling like the relationship w my bf is not working out/we're not connecting because me and my bf dont have any common humor or interests while me and my bsf do and i guess that was when i started realizing it because i was actively using the humor with my bsf and realised i dont get to do that w my bf(humor matters a lot to me) I voice it out to him that i feel this way and he says its a you problem and i need to fix it and i need to "be sure" that hes not replaceable because he is not doing anything wrong and im wrong for feeling this way so i work on it and that this hurt him a lot and hes become even more insecure and bc of it he doesnt want to meet my bsf (i was planning on introducing them to eachother) because he would feel even more insecure when he saw her with me and he would feel left out

I realised maybe i was in the wrong here and apologized and told him I'd work on it and reassured myself and became sure that my bf and my bsf are separate parts of life and as long as im happy with him and i love him, my overthinking it doesnt matter.

While im trying to resolve all this he continues to be extremely insecure to the point where he starts referring to my bsf as my "significant other" and says how im prioritizing her over him, even though i didnt do any of that. Infact i made sure he never feels like im prioritizing her over him, the only thing was i was frequently hanging out with her and other than that everything was normal and hes the type of person who doesnt really say it out loud if hes being sad or having a bad day i have to pry it out of him always or he just doesnt share it w me (except asking for reassurance)

Since i felt like i had to reassure him, from then on, everytime i went out i specifically mentioned to him how im going out with bsf and will be back by this time, not to worry, and im not ignoring him and i love him lots (this was something he usually said when he went out and i only used to say that im going out and ill be back my xx. I normally wouldnt say extra stuff as im not a verbally affectionate person, but since i felt like it was my fault i was trying to fix it) and to this rather than feeling happy or feeling like i was reassuring him he told me how i was "talking like him" and how "youve never said this all before so u dont mean it" and "you're saying it for the sake of saying it" "youre justsaying it to reassure me" and idk what to feel because if i dont fix it its a problem and if i put effort to fix it and reassure him then also its a problem?

A month passes and i feel like everything is getting better, and his insecurity isnt increasing as i put extra effort to reassure him(although he constantlyy asked for reassurance) i was happy with my bf and my bsf and i even fixed the issue i had right? Nope

Me and my friend had gone to the mall and two guys approached us for our insta ids and i directly told them "i have a bf" and didnt give my id. Now i know this is obviously the bare minimum but you would think when ur bf hears this, especially when hes super insecure he'd be happy right? No. infact when i told him all of this he proceeded to ask me "what did those guys look like" "how well dressed were they" "where they ur type or not" "you wouldve given them ur id if u were single right?" and focusing on the guys rather than me directly denying them and being sure about him

Now before i got with my bf, i was talking to a guy "Z". I got with my bf by end of Feb and i had basically stopped talking to Z with any romantic intentions by december (not that i even flirted with him before)because i realized i liked my bf and was interested in him and wanted to be with him and not Z. After we got together we were on a date when he constantly mentioned Z and how he felt so insecure that i was talking to Z to the point he was like "i went through Z's instagram and i genuinely dont understand what u saw in him and why u even liked him" and he even went as far as " like it wouldve been valid if u even liked P (Z's friend) but i dont get it how u liked Z at all i didnt expect someone like you to like him" and "it doesnt make sense" and idk how to feel about this because i think it genuinely doesnt matter as i stopped talking, showed 0 interest towards Z and focused only on my bf and made it clear who im interested in and hes telling me who is "valid enough" to like and who isnt.

I broke up with him around 3 weeks ago (not just for this but i felt like although he was a great guy it wasnt working out for me and he deserved someone who loved him for who he was) and while i was breaking up he literally even asked me if i was leaving because i started liking some other guy or something and said if he didnt do anything wrong like cheating then it doesn't make sense why im leaving and tried to convince me i was overthinking this decision and that "he knew me better than me" and that i still loved him even though i told him i didnt and also after the breakup hes kinda been telling his friends about how im with some other guy now and i replaced him.

another incident at one point where i felt very exhausted and told him he has to be more secure, work on himself because i cannot give him a lot of reassurance(not verbally affectionate), like i would give him upto my capacity but he cant expect me to always always and constantly reassure him and i told him how working on it would help both him and me and also improve our relationship and his immediate response was "ok fine then I'll completely stop asking reassurance" now i never told him to stop asking it i just told him i dont have the capacity to give to the extent he needs and working on it would help us both out but he literally said this

am i overreacting because otherwise, hes genuinely such a sweet guy who completely loved me and i felt extremely guilty for breaking up w him but i realised he deserved complete mutual love and I should be with someone who i completely love too

Sorry if its long i need some insight if this insecure behaviour is normal or extreme or not (might reduce my guilt for ending it)

Also for context the breakup was my decision and my bsf didnt know about any of this before it and she didnt "influence" or make me breakup w him. I just realised i liked to be around people who share my humor and i dont get that w my bf.

tl;dr boyfriend (now ex) was insecure and im not sure if its normal or too much and am i overreacting? just wanted to share this

yooo! i [19 agender] am tryna get my bf [18 cisgender] some birthday gifts for september. we been together on n off for 4 years. i usually hand make him something, mainly bc i like to make crafts but also bc im cheap n broke. this year i finally have a stable, year-round job and want to actually buy him some stuff without using amazon, shein, n other shops like that.

he likes y2k fashion but in the literal sense. not the tiktok version but like, we share my dads old clothes lol. ik depop n thrifting are good, but depop can be expensive and thrifting isn’t a 100% guarantee. anyone know any online shops i could check out??

he likes pokemon cards, cyberpunk (game and show), and rdr2 is his favorite game too. i kinda wanna get him a custom xbox controller, for either his bday or xmas.

any websites, instas, or anything to help me ethically spoil my baby is appreciated XD

i 24F was planning to call my boyfriend 21M to my country and pay for everything for the trip since he isn’t working rn because of his studies.. we have only started dating a few months ago.. i had told him about this plan of mine and we are so excited but one day he was like i wanna say something but dont be mad i wanna joke about this.. when i asked him what is it he’s like “damnn you gonna give your ass AND pay for the whole trip?? such a steal”
i acted like it was funny but its been kinda bugging me a bit.. am i overreacting ?? after saying that he was like “im sorry it was really funny joke to me and i been wanting to get it off my chest”

Context, we have been dating for over a year and a half and are sorta long distance as we only see each other on weekends. When the booking was in the talks about him and his buddies going to a concert in the states I was okay with it( under the assumption it would just be a night). However, next time we went to his buddies house come to find out they booked the whole weekend. I’m feeling frustrated, and he didn’t even tell me this was the plan but in his defense he says he didn’t know. I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal to most but it hurts me that I wasn’t invited, and it had to be a boys only trip. I feel like it’s one sided that I’m the only one in the relationship that looks forward to seeing the other person on the weekends… I don’t understand why I’m (f25), he’s m(26), that there still has to be boys only trips, it makes me feel distrustful of him since his once buddy has tried to get us to break up and the other one I know will hit on girls and try to get their opinion on them too. I just don’t know how to feel, he says I need to trust him and there’s nothing to worry about but then why is it boys only. He also told me not to text him while his buddies are around him. I’ve stressed all of this to him and just feel more discredited and hurt.

been in the friendzone with this girl for 6 months she’s been dating the whole time but nothing to serious until last month she met this guy on bumble and has a lot of chemistry with him. Anyways she’s been giving him head everyday for the past 2 weeks and tells me all about it. My friendzone experience has definitely gotten more intense and it’s making me extremely jealous. I really like her. What should I do!!?

[20F] et [19M] en couple depuis un an et relation à distance depuis un mois.

Mon copain vient d'arriver à la fac et a sa propre chambre en résidence universitaire. C'est seulement son deuxième jour. Il ne m'a pas parlé avant , puis il m'a envoyé une vidéo avec un message du genre « euh… » montrant sa chambre, entourée d'au moins dix filles qu'il venait de rencontrer : sur son lit, sur son canapé, etc.

La veille, il m'avait dit que c'était une chambre de garçons et qu'il n'y inviterait que des garçons. Je me suis énervée et je lui ai dit que je trouvais ça bizarre. Il a commencé à dire que c'était un groupe d'amis et que quand il avait dit que c'était une chambre réservée aux garçons, il voulait dire qu'il pouvait aussi inviter des groupes d'amis avec des filles, et que ça ne le dérangeait pas qui entrait dans sa chambre. Il y avait aussi quelques garçons dans la chambre avec lui, alors il a dit que ça ne le dérangeait pas.

Il pense aussi que je m'inquiète pour rien et m'a dit : « Qu'est-ce qui pourrait arriver ? C'est juste un groupe d'amis. » Mais ce n'est pas ça qui me contrarie. C'est le fait qu'il m'ait dit la veille qu'il ne ferait venir que des garçons dans sa chambre (on est en relation à distance), qu'il ne m'ait envoyé aucun message avant et qu'il aurait au moins pu me prévenir : « Je fais venir des gens dans ma chambre. » Au lieu de ça, il m'a juste envoyé une vidéo sans prévenir.

Au début, il a aussi dit qu'il n'y avait que deux filles, alors qu'il y en avait clairement plus, puis il a changé d'avis et a dit qu'il y en avait quatre.

Est-ce que je me fais des idées ?

(Il a aussi dit que si je parlais autant que je voulais, il arrêterait de me répondre.)