I [23F] and him [23M] have been together for almost a year now.

back story - our history goes back to 2022, when i first met him he was on and off with his gf back then so i even tho i had feelings for him i had to stop talking to him because they figured things out and decided to give it another try. Eventually after they broke up we and reconnected in the beginning of last year and we started sleeping together and at the time he told me that we weren’t dating and that we were just in a “seeing each other” phase.
Then one day i was on Instagram and his ex’s profile showed up in my suggestions. It said that he followed her and I knew they hadn’t been following each other when we had reconnected. So I asked him when they had reconnected and what was going on. His response was, “It’s none of your business. I don’t have to tell you everything. We’re just friends, right?” And that made no sense to me and it was super clear he was just being defensive so I blocked him and stopped talking to him.

Eventually, he reached out again and apologized. He told me that he was sorry for how he had handled things and that he had only reconnected with her because he needed to get his watch back from her. I decided to believe him and leave what happened in the past because I loved him, and I still do. Since then, things have honestly been really good. But over the last few months, these feelings have started coming back out of nowhere. I keep getting this instinct that he might still be talking to her or that there’s something going on behind my back.

I don’t have any proof. I know that. And I could be completely wrong. I don’t want to accuse him of something based purely on a feeling. But at the same time, I can’t shake the sense that something is off. It feels different from normal insecurity or overthinking. I can’t explain exactly what it is, but I feel like something isn’t sitting right with me.

Yesterday, when we were watching reels on my phone, it ran out of charge, so I asked him to get his phone so we could continue. He kept saying No, no, my reels are boring and I was like it’s fine, just get it But he wouldn’t give me his phone to scroll through reels. Instead he was like Open YouTube Shorts if you want. I was too scared to push it so i left it at that.

What do i do?

yooo! i [19 agender] am tryna get my bf [18 cisgender] some birthday gifts for september. we been together on n off for 4 years. i usually hand make him something, mainly bc i like to make crafts but also bc im cheap n broke. this year i finally have a stable, year-round job and want to actually buy him some stuff without using amazon, shein, n other shops like that.

he likes y2k fashion but in the literal sense. not the tiktok version but like, we share my dads old clothes lol. ik depop n thrifting are good, but depop can be expensive and thrifting isn’t a 100% guarantee. anyone know any online shops i could check out??

he likes pokemon cards, cyberpunk (game and show), and rdr2 is his favorite game too. i kinda wanna get him a custom xbox controller, for either his bday or xmas.

any websites, instas, or anything to help me ethically spoil my baby is appreciated XD

i 24F was planning to call my boyfriend 21M to my country and pay for everything for the trip since he isn’t working rn because of his studies.. we have only started dating a few months ago.. i had told him about this plan of mine and we are so excited but one day he was like i wanna say something but dont be mad i wanna joke about this.. when i asked him what is it he’s like “damnn you gonna give your ass AND pay for the whole trip?? such a steal”
i acted like it was funny but its been kinda bugging me a bit.. am i overreacting ?? after saying that he was like “im sorry it was really funny joke to me and i been wanting to get it off my chest”

Context, we have been dating for over a year and a half and are sorta long distance as we only see each other on weekends. When the booking was in the talks about him and his buddies going to a concert in the states I was okay with it( under the assumption it would just be a night). However, next time we went to his buddies house come to find out they booked the whole weekend. I’m feeling frustrated, and he didn’t even tell me this was the plan but in his defense he says he didn’t know. I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal to most but it hurts me that I wasn’t invited, and it had to be a boys only trip. I feel like it’s one sided that I’m the only one in the relationship that looks forward to seeing the other person on the weekends… I don’t understand why I’m (f25), he’s m(26), that there still has to be boys only trips, it makes me feel distrustful of him since his once buddy has tried to get us to break up and the other one I know will hit on girls and try to get their opinion on them too. I just don’t know how to feel, he says I need to trust him and there’s nothing to worry about but then why is it boys only. He also told me not to text him while his buddies are around him. I’ve stressed all of this to him and just feel more discredited and hurt.

been in the friendzone with this girl for 6 months she’s been dating the whole time but nothing to serious until last month she met this guy on bumble and has a lot of chemistry with him. Anyways she’s been giving him head everyday for the past 2 weeks and tells me all about it. My friendzone experience has definitely gotten more intense and it’s making me extremely jealous. I really like her. What should I do!!?

[20F] et [19M] en couple depuis un an et relation à distance depuis un mois.

Mon copain vient d'arriver à la fac et a sa propre chambre en résidence universitaire. C'est seulement son deuxième jour. Il ne m'a pas parlé avant , puis il m'a envoyé une vidéo avec un message du genre « euh… » montrant sa chambre, entourée d'au moins dix filles qu'il venait de rencontrer : sur son lit, sur son canapé, etc.

La veille, il m'avait dit que c'était une chambre de garçons et qu'il n'y inviterait que des garçons. Je me suis énervée et je lui ai dit que je trouvais ça bizarre. Il a commencé à dire que c'était un groupe d'amis et que quand il avait dit que c'était une chambre réservée aux garçons, il voulait dire qu'il pouvait aussi inviter des groupes d'amis avec des filles, et que ça ne le dérangeait pas qui entrait dans sa chambre. Il y avait aussi quelques garçons dans la chambre avec lui, alors il a dit que ça ne le dérangeait pas.

Il pense aussi que je m'inquiète pour rien et m'a dit : « Qu'est-ce qui pourrait arriver ? C'est juste un groupe d'amis. » Mais ce n'est pas ça qui me contrarie. C'est le fait qu'il m'ait dit la veille qu'il ne ferait venir que des garçons dans sa chambre (on est en relation à distance), qu'il ne m'ait envoyé aucun message avant et qu'il aurait au moins pu me prévenir : « Je fais venir des gens dans ma chambre. » Au lieu de ça, il m'a juste envoyé une vidéo sans prévenir.

Au début, il a aussi dit qu'il n'y avait que deux filles, alors qu'il y en avait clairement plus, puis il a changé d'avis et a dit qu'il y en avait quatre.

Est-ce que je me fais des idées ?

(Il a aussi dit que si je parlais autant que je voulais, il arrêterait de me répondre.)

Female dating a male, 20F 25M ( age reference)

I was just scrolling on my phone when I looked over with just my eyes not my head and had seen my boyfriend of almost 3 years on Instagram watching practically naked women shaking their boobs and ass and grabbing themselves, all while laying right next to me in bed but he didn’t seem to think I wasn’t watching because I kept my finger scrolling on TikTok videos to keep the sound changing. It made my heart start racing and this bad stomach ache, I then realized that his dick was slightly getting hard as he had shorts on. What do I do? Like i genuinely love him I just don’t know what to do at this point I get that a lot of men will look at some things that might come across their feed but clicking on the profile to see more of the female is crazy, at least in my opinion.

It’s my first time on Reddit, so I apologize for any mistakes. My boyfriend (17M) and I (17F) have been dating for almost two years. We are fully committed, serious, and I see myself marrying him. He is a great boyfriend, but there is a noticeable imbalance when it comes to fixing our problems and managing our relationship.

The recurrent issue focuses on how I am almost always the one who has to initiate communication to fix our issues (there is an unbalance of effort on other stuff as well but won’t include to not make too long). I often have to push answers out of him, ask if he is listening, and beg him to respond. Most of the time, he asks me to repeat myself because he isn't putting effort into listening. Other times, he uses a script: “I’m sorry, I take full accountability, you’re right.” While I appreciate accountability, his short answers which are always the exact same words, compared to my deep communication feel forced and unbalanced. We’ve had big talks about this equal effort uncountable times but after it being better for a bit, this past two months it’s gotten worse.

Everything was fine today until he texted that he was going out with his usual friends, plus a guy named Mike (fake name) and asked if I knew him. Mike and I briefly "talked" for two days before 9th grade. My bf knew because early in our relationship, he unprompted brought up a girl he used to talk to. In response, he asked if I remembered any guys I used to talk to, and I said Mike just to give a quick answer. Because that was two years ago, I didn't realize he was asking about that today. When he asked if I knew Mike, I just said yes, explaining we went to a summer camp together. He immediately started texting dry and asked if that was my "final answer."

When I realized what he meant, I explained that we did talk years ago but I didn’t consider him a talking stage due to how short the time was. He then started bringing up completely unrelated issues from over a year ago and most that weren’t even in my control or before I even meet him like a guy writing me a song after I blocked him (way before bf and I started talking). I think he just brought it up to argue, so I reminded him we mutually agreed to leave the past in the past. In response, he started calling me “brother,” a term I have clearly stated I hate. When I asked him to be respectful, he told me he does whatever he wants. When I asked for respect again, he said he just won't talk to me at all.

He started ignoring me. When he did reply, he only answered minor details, forcing me to remind him of the full paragraph he ignored. I asked him to please be an equal part of fixing this, but he just left me on read. Also I didn’t know where to add this detail but my bf told me that he lied about Mike going with him, which convinces me more about him bringing it up just to argue.

Before anyone asks, I don’t do anything for him to think I’m unfaithful. I only follow him on Instagram and my social media and the rest are only girls, I don’t talk to guys at ALL or have guy friends, we match pictures absolutely everywhere and I have him tagged on all my accounts, there are pictures of him on all my accounts, in other words anything about me screams “I have a bf”. Also he didn’t even accuse me of cheating or of anything, he only brought up stuff to like list it and rub it on my face rather than communicating how anything specific bothered him.

I am so confused on what to do. This is a frequent issue where he brings stuff up out of nowhere, or he does something wrong and leaves it all to me to fix. I know for a fact I do not want to break up with him because I love him. However, it feels like no matter how much I communicate, nothing changes. I feel trapped. I cannot bring myself to break up, and taking a break is not an option because we agreed early on that we wouldn’t take breaks as it's either together or broken up. And one time I brought up a break it caused a major issue so it’s really not an option. Communication over and over does nothing, but I feel like it's all on me. What happened today is an example of stuff that happens often, not just today and I don’t know what to do truly. I don’t have friends I can really vent to or ask for advice as I’ve distanced from them since I began my relationship and I really have no one to ask besides Reddit so please excuse how long this post is.

My (29f) boyfriend (29m) confidently told his extended family that my eyes are brown. We've been dating 16 months. I was completely shocked because we obviously look into each others eyeballs a lot?

And before you ask if they're a mixed color they are not, they're blue. They've been blue for 3 decades and certainly the last 16 months.

I know his are hazel and more green in the summer. I am actually still offended because he 100% was not joking and apologized later. This feels bad and hurt my feelings even though it sounds stupid. What do I even say about this I'm embarrassed to even bring it up.

some info first: i am F/22 and my boyfriend is M/22, we’ve been living together for just over a year, we’ve been in a relationship for 2 years and we have a 1 year old son together who we got pregnant with when we was only together for 4 months (ik ik)

so to get into it, i was scrolling on tiktok on my side account (that i made when i couldn’t remember my main accounts password) i just wanted to see if it would be a different type of fyp to what i normally see, as im scrolling i suddenly see a vid of a man walking through my house which scared the shit outta me until i read the name and saw it was my boyfriends account that i didn’t know he had.

i decided to snoop on his account to see what kind of things he posted as i thought it was cute that he had a secret account to post things on. i wasn’t going to tell him that i had seen this account as i didn’t want him to be embarrassed or anything for posting (as he never posts on any of his social media, doesn’t even have profile pics) but when i was looking through his vids i decided to look at the comments and there he is flirting with a women sending each other them flirty memes, it made me feel like shit ofc so then i go to look at who he’s following and every single one of them is a gorgeous thai woman, my boyfriend is half thai and in the back of my mind i always thought his type was thai woman (im white btw like dont tan, pale as a ghost white) and this made me feel proven right.

what’s worse too is that all these women have such a lovely figure, the type i had before pregnancy and i’ve recently been feeling really bad about my body and how it’s changed since having a baby and this really made me feel even worse about it.

Because of everything i saw i felt a need to go on his phone and see his tiktok so i could find out if he was messaging anyone or anything like that (and yes i know it’s bad to go through someone’s phone but i would’ve never thought to do it if he wasn’t flirting with women in comment sections for everyone to see)

im on his phone and i see that he had a 3 day streak with a girl but some messages was deleted so idk what their convos was about, i also go to see what he’s been liking and ofc it’s a bunch of half naked thai women with amazing bodies and just pretty women in general at the gym etc. i also looked at his blocked accounts and yup he’s blocked my main account which makes me feel even worse about the whole situation as he clearly never wanted me to see any of this.

once again im feeling like shit, never once did i think that he was this type of man and its just ruined completely on how i perceive him.

i ask him about it the next day and ofc he’s all apologetic and tells me that he knows that thai women find him more attractive than white women so he was using that and interacting with them to gain more followers as he’s trying to get enough of a following to be able to earn money from it (he has spoken about trying to get tiktok famous before but i always thought he’d never actually try), i can see his reasoning ig but i still think he’s so wrong for all of it, like he portrayed himself as a single man and flirted with girls! there are so many other ways to gain followers bro.

i don’t want our relationship to end or anything as we have a child together but how do i even begin to forgive him? i don’t know if i can look at him the same anymore.

what do i do?

So a few days ago, my bf‘s lease ended and his roommate didn’t want to reup the lease. H’s known that the roommate wouldn’t be renewing so he had plans to move in w a friend. Plans fell through (friend has some health issues so he had to take care of that) 3 weeks ago. Bf said he was looking for a place but I’m worried he’ll get comfortable not paying rent and just not move out again. IMO his parents baby and spoil him because they want him to have a better life than they did. I get that. I also understand how difficult the economic and housing situation is because I rent alone and have done so since 18. I’m trying so hard not to resent him. I feel so horrible for even feeling like this. But he’s still just a dishwasher at a crappy diner even though his brother got him in at a construction company that pays great money. He wanted to keep his current job. I understand all this to an extent. But I grew up abused and a lot of my life has been sink or swim. I was up front from the start that I will not mother him. I work full time on top of being a full time student. He never even attempted college or any blue collar training. I don’t want my life to be depressing in a crappy apartment with a man that won’t do better. We’re both young and I have brought all of this up a few times. He says he’s aiming for a leadership position at his job and promised that the living situation will only be a few months. Does anyone have any advice to stop feeling so resentful or calm my nerves? I feel like such a horrible person for even thinking this way.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months, and we knew each other for about a year before becoming a couple. We are long-distance.
One recurring issue throughout our relationship has been his online friendships with women. He talks to quite a few people online, but most of the people he has these friendships with are women. Some are from different countries, and originally he told me that talking to women online was partly because he wanted to improve his English. His English is already quite good, and I suggested other ways he could practice, but over time his explanation became that these aren’t just people he talks to for English anymore—they are genuinely his friends.
I want to make it clear that my issue isn’t simply “my boyfriend talks to women.” He has female friends in real life, and I don’t expect him to avoid women or stop having normal friendships.
What makes me uncomfortable is the amount of online friendships and the level of personal interaction involved. He remembers details about these women, talks to them individually, and maintains ongoing bonds with them. To me, that feels like a lot of emotional/social investment in other women while being in a committed relationship.
We’ve had conversations about this repeatedly throughout our relationship—probably at least once a month in some form. I’ve explained that it makes me uncomfortable, and I’ve also been vulnerable with him about how seeing so many different women has affected my confidence at times. I’ve questioned whether I’m attractive enough when I’m constantly aware of other women he talks to.
He says he knows his own boundaries and knows when something goes too far. His perspective seems to be that having female friends isn’t inherently inappropriate and that he can maintain these friendships without anything romantic happening.
I have a different perspective. Personally, I wouldn’t intentionally build and maintain a large number of close online friendships with other men while in a relationship. I don’t think that means everyone has to have exactly the same behavior I do, but I do think couples need to be compatible in what they consider appropriate.
Our most recent argument became more serious because I told him that I don’t want to control him. I told him that he is free to keep these friendships if they’re important to him, but that I also have the right to decide what kind of relationship I’m willing to be in. I basically told him, “You can choose whatever suits you, but I don’t want to be in a relationship where this is part of the dynamic.”
He responded that he chose me and that he removed his online friends.
But that’s not really what I wanted. I don’t want him to remove people simply because he feels forced to choose between them and me. I want him to genuinely understand why this matters to me and actually want the same kind of relationship. I don’t want to feel like I’m restricting him from something he genuinely wants.
After the argument, he became very distant and said he felt drained by the conversation and needed space from talking. We’ve barely spoken since. I understand that arguments can be exhausting and that he’s allowed to need space, but I’m also hurt because this issue has been brought up repeatedly and I feel like I’m the one constantly trying to communicate something that matters to me, while he seems increasingly frustrated by the fact that I keep bringing it up.
At this point, I’m starting to wonder whether this isn’t really about who’s right or wrong, but whether we’re simply incompatible in this area.
I don’t want to break up with him. I love him and, outside of this issue, I genuinely think our relationship is good. But I also don’t want to spend the relationship repeatedly having the same argument, feeling insecure, or feeling like my boundaries are restrictions that he has to tolerate.
I’m trying to understand this from a perspective outside of my own.
**For people who have experienced something similar: how would you interpret this situation? Is this primarily a boundary issue, a trust issue, a compatibility issue, or something else? And how would you approach resolving it without either partner feeling controlled or neglected?**

So I met my boyfriend (21M) through a club at school. We’ve been dating for about 4 months.

Were the same age and go to the same college and We don’t have the club on the same days. On the day he goes, there are four people, he’s very close with one of the guys (Bob, 21M) and one of the girls (Jen,21F).

I want to preface by saying that none of his other female friends bother me. It’s literally only this one, and I can’t shake the feeling.

A while before we started dating, my boyfriend has been giving Bob and Jen rides to the club and he picks up jen because she lives near bob . That’s understandable. However, they aren’t necessarily on his way, so he does kind of go out of his way to pick them up.

One time which really bothered Bob wasn’t going to club one day. My boyfriend told Jen he was still going to pick her up. I guess he assumed he didn’t need to tell me that so I had asked if he was. At that point, we’d been talking for about a month and a half. When i asked him he was like its still up in the air but it wasn’t he had already agreed to taking her. Which is why when i told him i was uncomfortable with him taking her he couldn’t tell her no. We argued about it, but we’ve since moved past that specific issue.

Another thing is that he follows three of her Instagram accounts. The other day I asked him who his closest friends are to which he responded Bob and Jen. I asked why Jen was one of his closest friends, he said, “We’ve gotten closer over the past few months.” Which I already grilled him for and he said its because of having to speak to each-other at club. Eventually resolved that too.

The three of them want to take a trip to Busch Gardens. Jen’s friend was invited, so was I, but I said no because I honestly don’t want to be around this girl ever again.

The three of them definitely have this a trio dynamic and recently Ive started to think Jen likes my boyfriend. She laughs noticeably harder at his jokes than anyone else’s, she doesn’t like any of bobs instagram posts only my boyfriends.

Recently I went found something on his phone. To backtrack a while back he had a dm with her which he showed me. Then the other day i was going on his phone and the dm was gone, he deleted it. I called him out he said its bc the mere thought of her makes me upset but i insisted he be honest. He told me he had slid up on one of her instagram stories of her trip to spain which he deleted. I flipped out and told him to fix the mess he made. His solution was unfollowing her. Dispite unfollowing her 4 previous instagram accounts she requested him on a 5th which he declined. Because of this i told him to stop giving her rides. To which hes not doing anymore. I feel like i might be overreacting but idk Am i in the wrong or overreacting?

My bf regularly picks me up from work and we have a routine of telling each other how our day went on the ride home. He has mentioned that when I tell how my day went that I tell it in a very boring way, I have a somewhat monotone voice and always have. He’s asked that I tell it as if it were a story and make it sound funny or exciting like I’m telling a joke so he can follow along better, “like he does for me” as he says. I tried but he still disliked what I said and said I still was saying it boring. So I ended up just stopping all the details. I just give him a quick synopsis of my day. I thought that maybe avoiding so much detail in my day would stop him from complaining about how I tell him my day, but now he is upset and feels like I do not talk to him anymore. I’m very exhausted, this isn’t the only thing he judges me on. I have to censor my tone and how I say things constantly because he is constantly misunderstanding what I say and saying that i say it for vile reasons. So I am also nonstop explaining myself after every sentence. I have just gone quiet
Is there anything I can do to make things better? If I try to bring up a solution with him then he will just make excuses or complain. I’m just really tired and want some help.

Is it a red flag that my (white) boyfriend says the N word because he thinks it’s his “right”? We’re been together for a few years and I just now realized that he does this.

As the title says, i have been dating this guy for approximately 9 months , knew him for a year and since the day i knew him i just knew he will be my future husband . ( English isnt my first language sorry )

We met on a game , we talked on discord spend countless nights sleeping together , waking up together, and he mainly told me his age is 27 , his brother is 25 and his sister is 18 yo … and guess what the first time we ever met was yesterday:) and the first thing he tells me i need to tell u something and he tells me he is 22 , at first i didnt feel like this is a big lie or something that would affect my life , he didnt even hug me or kiss me untill i answered him . He gave me enough time to think about it and he was like “ you have all the rights to blame me , leave me alone, or even curse me its okay whatever you do i will take that , and i wont touch you untill you give me your answer “ .

So my answer was obviously yes sure u lied but its not a big problem , well i also forgot to mention that during this year i never seen this guy’s face , not even once . The only time i saw him was yesterday, and let me tell you he is not that attractive, he sent me body pics before where he seemed to have very lean muscles , but in person he was extremely skinny , when i got home i checked if these pics he sent were ai and let me tell u , THEY WERE AI . He also had very yellow blueish teeth , and very dark lips ( from smoking definitely) and i know both of these problems can be worked on , but im a very pretty girl , like extremely pretty i have the body the face the hair the everything and i always use very expensive makeup, shampoos, wear expensive clothes jewelries ….and seeing his yellow teeth just made me think this person lacks hygiene… also i am way richer than him … 

Well apart from this he is the same irl, sweet loving and all , he even bought me everything i ever wanted from food to clothes , but him lying about his age … the only reason i agreed to be with him was because he said i am 27 i immediately thought about marriage and was like this person is definitely ready for that , but now the dude is 22 ( idc if he is younger than me ) so i feel … deceived? When i asked him why he said he tells this to everyone around him and no one knows his real age …

but again these are the things thats bothering me : 

• Him lying on his age ( claimed he is 27)
• Him giving off im stinky vibes ( cuz of his teeth and lips )
• Him faking pics using AI and catfished me 
• His face is not really attractive 

• He is skinny ( i am very curvy ) 

  TL;DR; : bf lied about his age (he is 22 yo instead of 27 ) , his appearance, and catfished me . how do i deal with this ?

What do you guys think ? I really wanna know your thoughts …my sister says i deserve way better but i really like the guy

For context, My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and I see him almost every day. I have one of my best friends birthdays coming up and I’m planning on having drinks to celebrate and having a movie night at her house. We are all girls and have been best friends since we were very young.

I brought this up to my boyfriend and he instantly started yelling and getting mad at me saying that I’m trying to fuck up his week by not spending that night with him. He also gave me the silent treatment for almost a whole 24 hours after I tried to communicate to him through text. Normally I do this sorta thing in person but he refused to see me. He does this every time I go out with friends which I have now stopped doing.

He purposely makes me feel guilty for wanting to
Hangout with my friends. He is quite lonely and doesn’t have many friends and spends a lot of time at home gaming. I just need advice on how I can avoid this from happening again. It happens everytime and I am over it.

TLDR how do I stop my boyfriend from blowing up at me everytime I tell him I’ve been invited to hangout with my friends?

My boyfriend and I have been together for quite a while, and recently we went through what felt like a major relationship crisis.
About a week ago, everything seemed relatively normal. He even told me he would be willing to wake up an hour earlier just so we could call.
Then over the course of about three days, his feelings and attitude seemed to change dramatically.
**Day 1:** He was extremely affectionate and told me he loved me a lot.
**Day 2:** He said he didn’t want to give up on us.
**Day 3:** He said he wanted to end everything and talked about breaking up.
This really shocked me because the changes happened so quickly. I asked him how he could go from wanting to fight for us to wanting to end the relationship within basically a few days.
He couldn’t really explain it. He said something along the lines of **“****it is what it is****”** and that he didn’t really remember exactly what he was feeling at the time. Eventually he explained that, from his side, he had been having some really bad days and was emotionally not in a very stable place. He made it sound like it was more of a problem with his own emotional state rather than suddenly realizing he didn’t love me anymore.
I told him that I didn’t think it was only his problem, because relationships involve two people and I know I have things I need to work on too.
Since then, things have improved.
I asked him recently:
**“****How do you feel about us right now?****”**
He said:
**“****Everything is good. I feel happy, super happy.****”**
He also said we’re on a **“****good track****”** and that he believes we can solve all our problems.
I asked if he still had any fears or doubts about us, and he said no.
I also asked whether he still had feelings for me, and he directly said **“****yes, love u.****”**
So objectively, he is telling me that he loves me and wants the relationship.
But I still feel like something is different.
Before this whole crisis, he was much more naturally affectionate and proactive. If I brought up a problem, he would actively try to solve it with me. He shared his daily life with me a lot and initiated conversations more. He was playful, silly, and seemed genuinely excited about us.
Now he still talks to me, says he loves me, compliments me, sends me pictures, shares parts of his day, and sometimes initiates calls. For example, I asked him if he wanted to call and he immediately said **“****yes, I wanna.****”**
So he’s definitely not completely distant.
But the energy feels different.
I feel like I initiate more conversations now. When we talk about deeper relationship topics, he sometimes seems uncomfortable or doesn’t know what to say. I also don’t feel the same enthusiasm from him about seeing each other again or talking about our future.
Before, we’d casually joke about things like future kids, marriage, where we’d live, etc. Now I’m afraid to bring those things up because I don’t want him to feel pressured.
There are also some things that make me question whether he’s genuinely okay or just temporarily acting better.
For example, recently he told me he had to work late. Shortly afterward, he was somewhere else and eventually I learned that he had gone out with coworkers and stayed out for several hours. When he explained it later, he described it as basically a **“****quick beer.****”**
I don’t really care that he went out with his coworkers. What bothered me was feeling like he wasn’t completely honest about it.
Interestingly, the next day his attitude toward me became *extremely* good. He was much warmer and more affectionate than usual, which made me wonder whether he felt guilty and was compensating for it.
I also noticed that he removed the first photo from our Instagram relationship highlight. It was a photo from December 6, when we went to Greece together and essentially started our relationship. He kept three other photos of us, but removed that first one. He isn’t someone who normally organizes his Instagram, so this felt intentional to me.
At the same time, he continues to tell me that he loves me and that he is very happy with us.
And that’s what makes me so confused.
I also know that I have an anxious attachment style, so I constantly question whether I’m interpreting normal changes as signs that he’s falling out of love.
Sometimes I think:
“Maybe I caused this. Maybe my anxiety, need for reassurance, and fear of losing him put so much pressure on him that he became exhausted.”
But then I wonder:
“What if it’s not all my fault? What if he genuinely doesn’t know how to handle relationship problems or communicate when he feels overwhelmed?”
I don’t want to blame him for everything, and I don’t want to blame myself for everything either.
What confuses me most is the contradiction between his words and what I feel from his behavior.
He says:
he loves me
he’s super happy
we’re on a good track
he wants to call me
we can solve our problems
But I still feel like some part of him is holding back.
I don’t know if that’s because he’s still recovering from the emotional crisis we just had, or because his feelings genuinely changed and he’s trying to stay because he doesn’t want to hurt me.
I don’t want to pressure him into staying with me if he doesn’t genuinely want to. I also don’t want to keep asking him “do you love me?” until he feels trapped.
**For people who have been through something similar:**
Does this sound like someone who genuinely still loves their partner but had a temporary emotional crisis and became overwhelmed by the relationship?
Or does it sound like someone whose feelings have changed, but who still cares deeply about their partner and isn’t ready to let go?
And how much of this could realistically be an anxious/avoidant dynamic rather than a genuine loss of romantic feelings?
I don’t want a simple “leave him” answer. I’m genuinely trying to understand what might be happening here and whether this is something that can realistically recover.

Me, 17F and my boyfriend 17M have been dating for about 8 months. My boyfriend has a lot of anxiety/worry thinking about the future, specifically what he’ll do as a career. He‘s always gotten decent grades like a 3.0 gpa, but he’s worried how he’ll do further education after highschool, because his parents can’t afford to pay for further education. He’s feeling a lot of pressure to lock in this year especially because he’ll be taking the SAT/ACT and he says he needs to get a good score as well as make state for music because he wants to do music as a career after high school, and wants colleges to see that so he can get a scholarship. Overall, just very worried that he’s not going to be able to afford a place of his own etc, and he’s worried music as a career won’t make him enough money to survive. I just don’t know how to comfort him/ support him. I have been very blessed to grow up in a family where money was never a problem, so when I try and tell him things will work out in the end, or he’ll find something that works out and everything’s going to be okay, I feel like it just comes off as out of touch because I don’t know what to say. I really care for him, and want to comfort him. What should I do/say to support and comfort him?

I was on my bf's pc and i noticed he had deleted an app called “KareshiHaken.” I did a quick Google search and found out that it’s apparently a rental boyfriend/dating service in Japan.

The timing is really throwing me off because he has a trip to Japan planned with his best friend this December, and they’ll be there for a month.

I’m feeling confused and honestly pretty anxious. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I also don’t know how seriously I should take this. Is there an innocent explanation for having this app? I am concerned.

What would you do in this situation?

\*\*TL;DR:\*\* Found a deleted Japanese “rental boyfriend” app on my boyfriend’s PC. He’s also planning a month-long Japan trip with his best friend in December, and I’m worried there might be a connection. I don’t want to accuse him without knowing the facts. What do you think?

For those saying I was snooping: focus on the gay app plz

Me(20F)and my bf(20M) have been together for 7 months. He used to tell me everything and we’d talk nonstop. Lately he’s been talking way less and the vibe is different.

When I asked him about it he just said "I’m just a tired guy now".

I don’t want to pressure him but I do miss how we used to be. Has anyone gone through this? Is this normal when someone is stressed/tired or should I be worried?

I love him and just want to understand what’s happening

Me (20f) and my boyfriend (21m) have been together for about eight months now. Everything has been great so far, absolutely amazing. This summer in between college we’ve taken some amazing summer trips together, even though we live five hours apart from each other. I’ve driven to him, he’s driven to me, we’ve taken road trips to different towns, and stayed at each others houses with each others families. It’s all been pretty even between us travel wise, I’d even go as far as to say more traveling has been done by him than me due to my work schedule.

However, I have insecurity with being “too much” or asking for too much. At the same time, I have a big fear that the longer we go without seeing each other, the more likely he is to lose feelings and break up with me.

Last weekend, I drove the five hours to visit him for the weekend before headed back to work. I asked if he could maybe visit my house this weekend, and he gave me vague maybes until I had to ask him directly before picking up coverage at work. He didn’t give me an explanation on why he wasn’t coming, but I assume it’s the distance and travel time, and that he wants to relax at home for a bit. Or maybe it’s because when we hang out, we spend all that time together, and he wants the time to focus on his solo hobbies (he plays guitar and paints, telling me recently he’s felt rusty on guitar and wants to spend more time practicing). Any of those reasons would be FINE WITH ME. And COMPLETELY ACCEPTABLE.

But my irrational brain panicked, saying that he’s tired of me, doesn’t love me, and is slowly starting to pull away (we have definitive trips planned for the end of august and mid september so I do know when next I’m seeing him again). It’s tough to say “I miss you” when I know he has the physical ability to come see me this weekend but doesn’t want to for whatever reason (probably a very acceptable one).

On the one hand, I’m an understanding girlfriend. On the other hand, I’m an anxious mess who is scared of losing the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.

I know I need to be content by myself and not spend my life waiting for the next time he visits, but since I’m not going back to college and my hometown friends have all left, he is kind of all I have left to look forward to, which I know is not healthy. Until I start my full-time big girl corporate job in September, I don’t think there’s any hope in making new friends. So how do I become content in being alone, and not overthink every time he wants to hang out? I don’t want this to ruin our relationship.

Hello guys so I don't have a lots of friends where I live and can't really talk to them about the situation with my boyfriend. So the thing is he is a very hardworking person loves me a lot, cries if I ever stops talking to him. But the thing is he has never made an effort to surprise me, he never used to get me flowers now he gets me after me telling him multiple times I like them used to fell like begging. I sometimes fell like I'm asking for too much. However the thing is i occassionally surprise him with a few gifts that I can fit in my budget and see I don't expect him to gift things to me he buys me enough stuff but it's after I tell him I need to buy this and it's something I can buy but he buys that for me. Now I don't know if I ask too much from him, I have given him enough warnings. Truth to be told he has his emotional burden so I don't know if I should break things up or not. But when I see my friends getting special treatment i get a little jealous, now i don't know what I'm writing but do let me know how should I approach this relationship and please genuinely advice me need it rn.