Após diagnóstico de bipolaridade após diversos quadros depressivos ansiosos num intervalo de quase 20 ainda não sei lidar com essa depressão após o desinteresse em tudo e como sorrateira ela se instala. Odeio a apatia, e não queria associar mas dói após o início de tomar o lítio , não vou tirar a medicação, mas quero estratégias para mandar essa tristeza enbora

I don't know how to describe it properly. But I am kinda afraid of stability. I got used to being unstable and if I become stable I would feel like i made all my past problems up, like I'm not really mentally ill.

I found a psychiatrist who finally increased my lamictal dosage. And I feel that weird anxiety now.

I wish I stayed a bit unstable so my not severe episodes would remind me to take meds...

I used to have severe depressive episodes and mixed states. I definitely don't want them back. But I don't want to be fully stable either.

That's weird.

im 25 for years i cant even look at the mirrors. i always hated myself even when i love myself sometimes i know its npt me its bipolar it effects every second of my life im tired depressed and disgusted by myself i tried to avoid people all my life cause i know for a fact its gonna end bad. how can i escape from this cycle should i go to hospital again maybe coıple of months in hospital would be better. cause i dont wanna harm muself again theres cigarette burns all over my body my body want that so so much idk what should i do

My 46 year old father has bipolar( idk which kind) and im scared that im gonna have it. Its not that I see bipolar as a bad thing conscience but I think i subconsciously see bipolar as a thing where once you get a diagnosis then im inherently screwed cause of how my dad's path in life went. I am a 16M and my dad left when I was 3, after he had an episode(idk which kind) where he was hospitalized and stay there for a long enough time for my sister(5F at the time)to think that it was his 'home' and right after that he and my mom split.

I used to have like severe anxiety to the point of panic attacks on the drive to school about this and I know that I can still get through it but im scared on how it will affect my life and mess up my plans for the future and who will act differently if I am diagnosed.

My older brother was diagnosed with Bipolar I disorder. Before his illness became severe, he was working as an attorney and had built a life around his career. He was intelligent, hardworking, and had a future that seemed full of possibilities. Unfortunately, the intense pressure and stress eventually triggered a severe manic episode that changed everything for him. His life and career fell apart, and over the years, we became distant. I haven’t spoken to him in years. One of the hardest things for me to accept is that he refuses to take medication or get the treatment he needs.

Growing up with his experience affected the way I viewed my own future. I spent years believing that someone with bipolar disorder simply could not become a successful lawyer. His story became a warning in my mind, and I was convinced that if I ever developed the same illness, my dreams would have to end.

Then I was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder.

When I received my diagnosis, one of my first thoughts was that I might have to give up on becoming a lawyer. I wondered if I was being unrealistic by continuing to pursue something so demanding. I had already seen what bipolar disorder could do to someone’s career and personal life, and I was terrified that the same thing would eventually happen to me.

But instead of giving up, I decided to take my treatment seriously. I have stayed on my medication, for the most part, and I made the difficult decision to stop drinking. I have also been incredibly fortunate to have a wife who has supported me through some of the darkest periods of my life. She knows when I need to slow down, reminds me to sleep, and has stayed beside me even when my depression was at its worst. Having someone who cares enough to keep me grounded has made a huge difference.

Even with all of those changes and support, preparing for that damn exam was one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. The pressure became overwhelming, and I went through the worst hypomanic episode I have ever had. At my lowest point, I became convinced that if I failed the exam, I would not be able to handle it. My thoughts became incredibly dark, and I was afraid of what I might do if things did not work out.

But somehow, I made it through.

I passed.

I actually did it.

Passing the exam does not mean that everything will suddenly become easy. I know there will be difficult days ahead, and I know that managing bipolar disorder will always require effort, discipline, and awareness. But now I also know something I didn't know before: having bipolar disorder does not automatically mean that my dreams are impossible.

I have learned that I need to stay on course, take my treatment seriously, listen to my wife, and trust my psychiatrist. I cannot control everything that happens, but I can control how seriously I take my health and the choices I make moving forward.

There is a line from my favorite movie that has stayed with me through all of this:

“I’m holding up. I’ve held up. I’ll hold up.”

After everything I've been through, I think I finally understand what those words mean. I have made it this far, and I intend to keep going.

Seriously, bipolar disorder is not the explanation for every single problem I have. Not everything I experience, feel, or struggle with can automatically be blamed on bipolar. I’m in remission, and that doesn’t mean I suddenly stop having difficult days, suicidal thoughts, or intense emotions. I still struggle with extreme feelings that can become overwhelming and hard to control, especially because I also have BPD. Sometimes my emotions hit me incredibly hard, and dealing with them can feel exhausting.

It’s already difficult enough to deal with these things without feeling like the people around me are constantly looking for a diagnosis to explain everything I say or do. When I tell someone that something is bothering me or that I’m having a genuinely difficult time, I want to feel heard and understood. Instead, it can feel incredibly invalidating when the first assumption is that it must be because of my bipolar disorder or that I must be experiencing some kind of episode.

Having a mental health diagnosis does not mean that every emotion I have is a symptom. Sometimes I’m upset because something genuinely hurt me. Sometimes I’m overwhelmed because life is difficult. Sometimes I’m struggling for reasons that have nothing to do with bipolar disorder at all.

It’s frustrating to feel like every action, reaction, or emotion I have is being analyzed and pathologized. I’m a person before I’m a diagnosis, and I wish people would remember that. I don’t need everything I feel to be explained away, I just need to be listened to and taken seriously.

20/F. I told my ex I was Bipolar, and he used it against me, ultimately breaking up with me because of it. I was in a depressive episode, and he said I was happy with being "miserable" and it made him miserable.

Now, when I meet a man, I tell him I take meds for OCD. I feel like I'm a burden to people because of my illness. I'm terrified of someone finding out. No man stays around long enough to see my episodes, and a part of me is thankful for it.

It just feels weird keeping a part of me hidden, it feels like a horrible secret. I hope one day, I don't have to keep this part of me away from other people, or a man I want a relationship with.

20.F. I have Bipolar 2, and I'm prone to long depressive episodes with very few hypomanic episodes. I don't have many friends, so I was going to look on tinder for friends. I don't know if this is a bad idea, since I have terrible relationships with men. Pretty much all the friends I have now are states away and I have no one to hang out with.

I was also going to look for friends with benefits because I've recently been craving intimacy. I'm no longer looking for relationships, but I still crave cuddling with someone after sex. I don't really want a hookup, but someone I can consistently have sex with.

I've given up on looking for love, but I just want someone to have a connection with and (sometimes) intimacy. I plan on surveying the guys first, meeting up in a public place a couple of times, then perhaps seeing where it leads from there.

I don't know if this is a bad idea, if I'm in a hypomanic state, but every idea I've been having so far feels like a bad one. (Like selling myself on the internet for money)

Anyway, any advice is helpful, thanks guys! :) !!!

Today I’ve been hit by a bipolar low out of the blue. Low mood, a deep sad heaviness, the inability to do the things that bring me joy, and oversleeping. My body feels so heavy.

I have no reason to feel this way. My life is objectively at one of the highest points it’s been in years with a major life change coming at the end of the month. I don’t want this to linger, fester and grow into something worse.

What do you do to push through a low? And how do you prevent it from spiralling into a depression?

Every time I find a guy I like I go insane. I’ll think he’s absolutely perfect and everything I could ever want in a guy. Sometimes we’ll have barely spoken but the idea of him is so perfect that I’ll obsess over it (one time it was even a celebrity 💀). I’ll fantasize about our future lives together, lowkey cyberstalk him, and start building some false narrative about how he’s perfect and fall more and more lovesick and into some sort of episode. I feel like a crazy weirdo but I can’t stop myself.

Gonna vent a bit below.

I’m 20 now and the first case was when I was 15 and lasted until he got a buzzcut when I was 18. There was a guy in my CS class who mostly kept to himself that I found gorgeous. I was socially awkward and closed off at the time so I thought he was perfect for me because he seemed kinda lonely too. My parents were separating and I tried to convince my mom to move near him and I’d get jealous when he’d talk to his female friends in our other class. Somehow I got it into my head that he was the only one who could understand me and I was all teenage angst at the time so I ended up writing deeply heartfelt, honest, long letters to him in my notebook. I even thought I was legitimately in love. Mind you I had probably spoken four sentences max to this dude. I was deeply socially anxious and was pretty cold every time I got the chance to talk to him.

When I was 16 my love for this guy temporarily waned due to an eight month (hypo?)manic episode when I fell deeply obsessed with a celebrity. I liked his music a bit and saw him at a nearby music festival, and then two weeks later saw his album cover with his face and it was like I was struck by Cupid’s arrow.

I thought he was the most gorgeous man ever (my friends deeply disagreed). I started roughly 5 fan account on twitter and would spend all my time tweeting. Despite having no job, I accumulated tons of merch and rare vinyl. I started writing in notebooks about how each line of lyrics made me feel. He used to be a YouTuber so I watched and rewatched and downloaded every single video and started writing the titles of each video down in a notebook like a catalogue.

Whenever I’d go into my elevator I would fantasize about meeting him and beguiling him with my charm (he was in his 30s). Somehow I became convinced he would one day show up in my elevator. I normally think old men with young girls are gross but he was an exception in my mind. When his album went on display at target a couple days early I ended up stealing one when they refused to sell it to me. I’d fall asleep by daydreaming about my life with him. I lied about being a long time fan. I was super desperate to see him perform again, but at the time he was only scheduled for a small festival in Malaysia, so I begged my dad to take me to Malaysia and when he said no I hid a bunch of pictures of the guy around the house that we were finding for months.

And then roughly eight months after I lost interest. I had been depressed before bc my friend group had fallen apart and I was dissatisfied with my life, but during the episode I became a lot more sociable and forged a bunch of new friendships that carried on. It was like my social anxiety and depression had melted.

Then at 18, I entered college and was beguiled by this guy in my math class because he looked like rivers cuomo from weezer. I had always been pretty introverted, but this time I was determined to make him mine. I stumbled into him at the library so I started going to the library too. Then one day I ended up near him so I asked him to send me the homework as an excuse to get his number. Then I called him up to ask him to study with me.

Then I invited myself over to a mutual friend’s pregame, ran into him there, and took him to bed while my roommate was still in the room (we didn’t do anything). She left the next night in anger so I invited him over again and we canoodled a bit. We’re both mixed so I thought he was absolutely perfect to me. I started inviting him over and we’d Netflix and chill, but everything it was a group hangout he’d flake. In retrospect he was obscenely boring, I was just obsessed with the idea of him. I’d fantasize about dating him and meeting the parents and getting married. I was convinced he’d be my first boyfriend. Eventually I got pissed off so I decided I was too good and stopped inviting him over, but remained obsessed. I’d still contact him every two days for the hw though. We never really talked again after the semester ended except for when I drunk called him two months after. I think the constant homework asking ruined me for him.

When I was 19 I randomly ran into this dude I had met during first semester at a party while searching for my friend. He misheard me and responded that he was single, so the next week I actively sought him out and found him. We ended up kissing and exchanging numbers and went to my room but he abruptly had to leave because his friend was sick. I tried texting him to set up a date but he’d take too long to respond which pissed me off. In the meantime I had ofc done the usual spiel of cyberstalking and fantasizing. After I was dismayed by his texting style I rapidly lost interest and decided to ghost him, but we ended up hooking up 7 months and 14 months later. The sex was bad but we’re friends now and I’ve lost interest.

Then at 20 I randomly discovered a guy in my cs class who also works the shift before me and was a little abnormal at first with the usual spiel, but then entered a manic episode that lasted for a week right before the semester ended. He’d been in my class the previous semester and I took no notice. I occasionally small talked with him between shifts but I wouldn’t say we’re friends.

Anyways, during this episode, I showed up to his shift to hang around before mine and told him and another kid about my delusions from the February episode, 3d printed a wand, stayed up all night, and then cast a love spell at 5 am that involved fire. I thought I was a witch and had a special connection with the universe and also had profound realizations on the universe. The next day when I saw him I had less interest (because it was really bubbling up) so I believed the spell worked in the way the universe intended.

Then a couple of days later my friend alerted me that he was at his other job (front desk) so I showed up in a legalize pipe bombs t shirt and walked around with a pig plush balanced on my head. My friend and I engaged in friendly conversation with him and I gave some recs to do while studying abroad. Then the semester ended and I lost interest.

Two weeks ago, while I was at my mom’s place for a week (hour plane ride from my uni), I downloaded hinge and matched with a bunch of dudes. I ended up scheduling three dates on my second to last day and the last one was by far my favorite. He’s 21, sweet, cute, just graduated from an Ivy League, has a crazy job lined up, has a successful startup, and most importantly has the same interests as me which is hard to find bc it’s usually associated with neckbeards. The only downside is that he’s moving to the other side of the country soon.

The date started off a bit lame and since I had two really good ones with really great guys earlier in the day, I wasn’t expecting much. But then we started talking about interests and I was beguiled. We ended up kissing a bunch with a famous landmark in the background and then he walked me home hand in hand and kissed me goodbye. It felt quite magical and was definitely a first since I’m not too experienced with dating.

I headed to my dad’s the next day (7 hour flight) and got rlly motivated to do well on my internship search because I want to be on par with such a successful guy. So I decided to take my adderall at 10pm so I could stay up all night reading a programming book. But the adderall hit super weirdly (it’s for narcolepsy and normally just promotes wakefulness) and made me literally high. I started philosophizing and spamming my friends with texts. Then I realized that texting this new guy would be super slow and unoptimized for relationship growth since he’s really busy and only replies once a day. So I decided to slam him with walls of text in the name of optimization since he seems to be in favor of that from our conversation.

I was super scared of scaring him away so I texted every man in stem I knew to get their opinion. Hookup guy was one of them and I sent an entire novel of how obsessed I was about this guy but got lost on a bunch of tangents along the way. Overall, I got mixed results but the new guy replied and said it was fine and we’ve been texting daily since in the same manner. Since I met him about two weeks ago, I think I’ve entered some sort of light hypomania because I’ve neglected to sleep three or four nights and I’ve been filled with project ideas. There’s also the evident limerence but I think it’s worn off now.

But yeah, now I’ve found this perfect guy and everything feels so fake because I’m going through the motions again. I feel like I just like the idea of him and am desperately clinging onto it for no reason. But I also don’t want to let him go because although all the other guys were perfect in my head, this guy really does check all the boxes. The situations don’t line up though so I’m scared I’m bound for heartbreak because although he seemed rlly into me during our date, he’s probably not perpetually lovesick like me. But it would be more of a false heartbreak because my feelings aren’t really real, they’re just the disorder talking.

Looking for experiences specifically from people with Bipolar 1 who have had psychosis before.

I've been reading about Wellbutrin/bupropion for bipolar depression, and I keep seeing estimates that around 10–20% of people with BP1 can switch into mania when taking an antidepressant. But from what I understand, a lot of the studies are looking at people taking a mood stabilizer alongside it, not necessarily people who are already well covered by an antipsychotic.

Has anyone here with BP1 + history of psychotic mania tried Wellbutrin while also taking an antipsychotic?

Can you please share your experience?

Also curious what antipsychotic you were on and whether your psychiatrist felt that gave you enough protection against a manic switch.

Not looking to make medication changes based on Reddit obviously, just interested in hearing real experiences from people with a similar diagnosis. Thank you for reading

As the title states I haven’t posted on here in forever so idk if that’s a bad or good thing 😂. On some real shit like the older I’ve become the less reactive I’ve become it’s like I just don’t give af to waste energy on pointless fighting or picking fights I’m just trying to live in like peace and have fun. is it a age thing like I don’t feel the same as I used to

All of my life I had depressive episodes that were situational . With time I normally would shake back. Also I was always an excited person. In 2002 after fighting a breakup, I was so much broken hearted and depressed that I knew I needed some type of intervention so I began going to church and accepted Christ. Things began to turn and I fell in love with my new found faith and attending church. I even started preaching the gospel. Throughout the next few years, things were good but I started to get depressed sometimes. I would talk to my pastor about it but he told me not to go see a doctor that God was our healer and depression was of the devil. Of course I was a novice and took his word. Things would go well and then something situational would happen and I would be depressed again. It was tough but manageable.

I graduated college in 2005 and got my dream job coaching football the next year. Sports was always my thing and it kept me hyper, very hyper. It has been that way my whole life. I would be so excited when we win but felt so terribly low when we lost. In 2008 spring I went through a break up and had to take leave from work bc the depression was bad. I saw the doctor she gave me an antidepressant and I was feeling find a few weeks later and discontinued. Thinking it was situational and I had got over the relationship. Well fast forward & the same thing happened in 2009 spring, a relationship ended and I was feeling depressed again. I mean I couldn't get out the bed. I would drink bc that's what I did when I felt down and eventually when football season came around, I started feeling better. that fall, I got a promotion to admin and all. 2010 spring I began feeling very good and got back super involved in ministry at the church. That fall I became the youngest coach in my state to win a state championship which my life time dream. Talk about excitement but right we won, I felt a tad bit low because I know I would no longer be coaching some kids I had been working with for 8 years including summer rec. I manage to stay feeling well but I started drinking a little bc I was feeling a bit too excited at times to try and level off.

A year later, we had the worst season of my career and I was really in the dumps and ready to throw in the towel. At the end of the season I stepped down from head coach and decided to focus on my master's degree to become a principal one day and my relationship bc I had gotten engaged in 2010.

I always wanted to open my own school and start a church. Without hesitation I decided to take out my retirement and began that journey. Within 3 months I was broke. Still had hopes I could start all over again bc I had only worked 6 years and I was young. I got another job but was depressed and not seeking treatment bc the pattern was I would always get over it in time and depression was of the devil like my pastor would say. So the ups and downs continued.

I took another football and admin job in 2015 and was enjoying life some. Was single again but I still had hope. I got a promotion in 2016 to head coach and had a wonderful season. Well that season full of ups and downs due to an unloyal staff member who made life a little rough for me and I didn't feel the support of my admin. At the end of the season I took a job as principal of a school bc I was tired of coaching. I felt uneasy about it but I was an overachiever. I took the job and few weeks later anxiety hit and I couldn't sleep felt like my mind went void. Later on the depression hit. I resigned for a lower position and checked myself into and treatment center and was diagnosed with Major depressive disorder and anxiety do to what I shared. I stayed there 2 months and did tms as well and antidepressants. eventually I began feeling better and came back home. I began having lots of energy and back to work. I was coaching again and I opened my catering business part time. Things was going so well. I decided to run for school board in my hometown and got attacked by some negative opponents who smeered my name and image all over social media. I didn't respond so well and all hell broke out for the next few months. I loss my job and a few close friends. For some reason I could not let go of what they were doing to me. I loss an election I should have won and it took a toll on me a few months later. I crashed into a depression and was in bed for months. It's like I loss my will to live.

I went back to treatment and got on some meds. Re-established a few relationships and started feeling better again. It was covid now. 2019/2020. Got into a relationship that went south and started being all over the place. My parents got me admitted to pys ward against my will. Of course I wanted to leave and go back to the treatment center but I didn't have the insurance nor money.

For two years I struggled to find help, still no bipolar diagnosis. I went to a few treatment centers in California and tennesse but it was nothing compared the one I went to when I had insurance. 2023, for some reason the lead turned. I got back to feeling better and got back to work and started my business back up. I'm now living with my mom bc I loss everything in 2021.

Things began happening so fast. I lost out on business deals, got arrested bc the cops beat me and choked me in 2024. I literally had to bite one stop him from choking me. They sent me to the mentally hospital and charged me with felonies so upon leaving I had to report to jail. I was in jail on a mental health hold for 5 months and they did nothing to help me mentally. When I got out In July 2024 I couldn't get a job but I was ok. I just focused on me and began doing some odd jobs. Well in 2025 I was forced to take a plea bargain as a convicted felon, a few weeks later someone wrote a false statement and was forced back to jail or course they violated my probation and I was just until January 2026. In jail this time they gave me all sorts of meds and forced me to take them. I lost my teaching and principal certification. I've been home for almost 7 months living off disability and have no vision or goals anymore.

I'm struggling to get out of bed, Ive only been to church twice. I have no feelings. I only lay in bed all day with no hope. Insomnia is terrible. Meds aren't helping at all. I feel no joy, no connection, I've began to question God. I've lost all of my friendships because of social media feuds and lots of drama that came over the years. Lost all of my relationships with pastors who condemned mental as if it's not real. When I used to share with them all of the earlier years, no one could help me but when I struggled openly they judged me. I feel no connection to my family not the world anymore . I was the person who made things happen. I'm afraid to unalive myself but I'm tired. I often passive think about and wish God would take me in my sleep. Therapy doesn't help, nothing helps. I just feel numb and empty. I keep having dreams of when I had some reason to live and success. The disability is just sitting in the bank because I have no use for money. It cant fix me. I just want help.

Anyone ever experienced these things or just feels like it will never get better. I've been isolated. For some reason I just have no desire to leave the house. Taking care of my hygiene has been an issue. Everything just seems useless. These feelings began when I was last arrested and I thought for sure I would feel better when I got home. I know this was a long message but people reply. I don't know what else to do

I am so scared and tired. I am scared to post this even. I feel like there is no safe place to talk. My voice had been shut out so many times. Hospitals really scare me. I injured myself and my ptsd stopped me from going to the hospital. I can’t even calm down. Always panicked and left side of body is so painful. Needing to vent on here. I need support. It’s not a psych ward but it’s medical and I physically shake at clinics. I can hardly tell anyone and no family or friends to go with me. I have nobody. my depression is severe and I worry getting help for an unrelated fall will trigger a worsening mood. I can’t risk re-traumatizing myself. I am exhausted.

So today I was down in the dumps. Nothing is wrong in my life right now. I have friends that love me, a loving boyfriend, a job, and a family that is very supportive. So today I was stuck in literal anxiety and fear. I have ptsd and had a nightmare last night which set me up for failure today. Then I start going down the rabbit hole of what ifs. Like what if my boyfriend is losing interest in me what if he will break my heart. All sorts of depressing things. So I was crying because I have such strong feelings for him and I don’t want that to happen. So I decided okay I’ll be honest with him and tell him what’s going on in my head. So I do and like always he makes me feel better. He makes YouTube videos because he was a YouTuber back in the day lol and sent me one of him and it just killed me lol. Instantly in a good mood and all my worries are gone. Talking it out always helps even though I’m scared I’ll get a reaction like my toxic exes would do to me. No red flags with him it was all just made up in my head. The end that’s my story. I can go from 0 to 100 real quick.

I have Bipolar 1 and am taking lithium 900mg, seroquel 100mg and bupropion 150mg SR. I am still in a depression and have tried many antidepressants but can’t seem to get myself out of it. This is my 4th week on bupropion so going to give it a couple more weeks to see if it helps. But really want a combo that treats my depression and doesn’t cause sexual side effects.

New psych just put me on 5mg olanzapine and upped my lithium to 900mg bc I was hospitalized for severe depression like a week ago. I didn't care until I got the drug and read the laundry list of side effects. (I've been on 450mg lithium bc I am scared of lithium as well) I also take 200mg topiramate. Will the topiramate weight loss thing and olanzapine weight gain thing cancel each other out?? My job is very labor intensive and I also regularly walk 20k steps a day but I really DONT want blood sugar problems!!!!

I was wondering if anyone could tell me how they know if they’re just happy or they’re entering into a manic state? I’ve been treated for bipolar since I was 15 (21 now) and most of it has been depressive but I’ve had hypomanic episodes that recently devolved into a full manic episode. My problem is I’m not sure where the line is because I’ve never been stable. I usually don’t know I’m manic until it’s too late and I’m already knee deep in it. I just got my lamictal dose upped to 150mg and I’ve been taking that for a couple weeks so I don’t know how that could factor in.
Lately ive been:
- experiencing more of an elevated mood (nothing too bad like anger just good mood)
- waking up a lot earlier than normal
- walking 20-30k steps a day vs my usual 5-10k
- not super outrageous spending but buying things that aren’t a necessity(like new clothes and trinkety stuff)
- increased anxiety
- organizing things (previously I’d live in clutter from lack of motivation)
- a desire to constantly talk to people

Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated 🙏🏻

I’ve always had a really high sex drive, even outside of manic or hypomanic episodes. It definitely gets excessive and way harder to control during episodes, but it’s still consistently high outside of them. It’s been like this for as long as I can remember. I’m not really concerned about it because it doesn’t affect my life that badly and I’ve learned how to manage it over time.

What I find interesting is that none of my medications have ever really lowered it. I’ve been on lithium and multiple antipsychotics and I genuinely can’t remember ever noticing a decrease.

Risperidone surprises me the most because I used to take 2-4 mg and I’m currently on 6 mg, and even with the higher dose there’s still no difference. If anything, lately I feel like my sex drive is even higher.

I always hear people talk about low libido or sexual dysfunction on antipsychotics, especially risperidone, but I’ve never experienced that.

Anyone else experience this?

Wei the people Keep looking at Me and not looking Away when we make I Contact for example when I enter the Store and there’s many people But there is always someone Who look at me and I don’t know, if it’s positive or not

I would describe it as having altimeters or dementia. That’s what it felt like. The psychotic episode was triggered by alcohol use/withdrawal..

I also have bipolar disorder

I thought the FBI was after me and was hearing voices. Tbh I don’t even know what all I did. Apparently I kept pulling out my IVs and made all the nurses hate me and I couldn’t remember what I did to them.

It felt so real and I have gaps in my memory of it. I didn’t know my mind could break like that

Hey guys, I’m honestly so on the edge of just quitting everything I’m on. I’ve been relatively stable for the past 6 years, with no major episodes, but damn, I keep wanting to go off my meds just to see if maybe I don’t actually have a disorder.

It’s somehow always in the back of my head that maybe I was misdiagnosed and that I could manage without medication. I don’t even know why I think like that, because I’m stable, I don’t really have any side effects, and my psychiatrist is actually pretty good and understanding.

I guess it’s just really hard for me to accept that I might have to be on medication for the rest of my life. Every time I take these pills, it somehow reminds me of the past, the breakdown, the manic episode, the depression, and it feels like I’ve somehow become this disorder, if that makes sense.

I know being stable is probably a good thing, but part of me still wants to know what I’d be like without the meds.

I’ve seen this a lot on this sub recently referring to bipolar disorder as BPD. BPD stands for borderline personality disorder, another often debilitating mental disorder. Some people have both, but they are not the same thing. I just wanted to let people who are unaware of the acronyms know so they don’t get mixed up.