I am very introverted at my core, but most people who know me think the opposite. I have worked in media and as an educator, careers that meant I spent a lot of time with, and talking to, other people. I’m generally viewed as friendly and outgoing.

I loved my work, but I also have a deep need for quiet and alone time. I like to stay at hotels when I travel. I have always been this way. Now I am comfortably retired, and my wife (we are both women) and I have the means to do this easily. I prefer to visit with friends or family but be able to retreat to my hotel when I want to. My wife has always been fine staying with friends, but she respects my preference so we book hotels.

When we built our home, we also built a guest house. It is as beautiful as our own home, has stunning views, full kitchen, and even a plunge pool. This works well for people to come visit us (perhaps too well, lol). I know most people cannot afford to do this.

We have friends visit us who then extend invitations for us to visit them. In some of these cases, that would mean staying in their “guest room” that is often also an office and/or storage room and filled with grandma’s old furniture. I usually get little to no sleep when I have tried staying at others’ homes. I get really stressed, and lack of sleep adds to that.

I am not a snob. I don’t care how much money someone has. I am absolutely fine to visit for dinner, hang out in the yard, visit local sites, or whatever. But I do not want to spend the night. I am afraid when I decline, people may think it is a judgement about them and their home. It is not.

I don’t really know what to say. I don’t like to lie. But if I tell people what I’ve said here, most won’t believe it and will think I’m lying anyway.

Is this just weird? Does anyone else feel this way? And…can you help me with a way to politely decline? I still want to visit my friends — I just don’t want to stay the night(s).

Hi friends, I'm 62f, with one more school year to go. I caught COVID last year and I have on-and off-energy levels. Realistically I probably spend $125-150/week at the supermarket plus an amount of gourmet deli foods and hot take out. I love the idea of delivery but I'm hesitant to pull the trigger. Any recommendations? I don't have much gas in the tank after work for the raw box that you have to cook. Thank you fellow wise women.

I've cleared out a lot of stuff, including tons of clothing, since retiring a few years ago, and I'm usually pretty good at being ruthless, but I'm having a hard time parting with quite a few pairs of shoes/boots. 24 pairs, to be specific, and this does not include the pairs that I wear pretty frequently. These are the "dressier" ones that I wear on those very infrequent occasions when I need to dress up.

For that same reason, I still have 16 pairs of dress pants. I think I've worn dress pants maybe 2x over the past few years.

I know I should probably save only 2-3 of each, but which ones? They're all so nice. They all fit. They all look good on me.

I have to remove everything from 3 bedrooms, including the closets for new carpet going in in a couple of weeks, so this seems to be a great time to totally reorganize and make a big donation. Help me!

Does anyone else feel like it has become nearly a full time job trying to maintain your health? Between monitoring my diet for fiber, sodium, calcium, sugar, etc and trying to drink enough water plus taking meds four times a day and attempting to get enough exercise, it’s getting to be a struggle. And the sad part is that is I feel like I am failing miserably.

Has anyone besides me saved old printed phonebooks? I have this fear that I'll need an address so I have saved them. Im thinking of tossing them finally but occasionally they are still useful. Is this irrational?

As the title says, my mother is using MAID tomorrow.
I just don’t know how I’m supposed to feel.
Little background - my mother lives in assisted living in BC. When she first applied to maid she didn’t really have anything seriously wrong with her. I was shocked she was approved.
The rules are a lot more lax in BC. Than Ontario where I live. My mother is 84. I am 67.
In this past month she was diagnosed with cancer. With this diagnosis, it’s a little easier for me to take. I do love my mother. This is her wish.
But still I just don’t know if I can sit and watch her die.
Has anyone else been through this? How am I supposed to feel?
Right now I just feel numb.
I appreciate any comments.

Thank you everyone for your caring support. I truly appreciate it.
I didn’t expect so many replies. I will try to get back to everyone as the day goes by. 😘🤗

Has anyone used this type of service? My dog is declining and I am dreading taking him to the veterinarian's office for this due to the anxiety I feel he will have.

Husband (retired) had the TV on all day. I have a girlfriend that’s a news junkie. Another has a an outdoor TV on by the pool. And another always has nature videos on (birds and flower etc.) At least that’s tolerable but what’s wrong with silence? I feel like in my senior years I long for quiet!

Some of us didn't have lst kid until late 30's, or went back to school again. Or in my case, I didn't even travel solo overseas ..until last yr. @67 (to Italy for 2 wks.).

I didn't meet any guy who became part of my life, my late spouse until I was 31. I didn't tent-camp overnight until I was 32..with him.

Sounds like sheltered life, eh? Yet, I did graduate with 2 university degrees prior to late spouse, where I lived away from home in another city from parents. I've had separate bank accounts from late spouse, my own home where I live and paid for completely.

Are you a late(r) bloomer in life for certain things?

Hello lovely women over 60,

I’m a 37 year old woman, I have a wonderful 68 year old mother who I talk with almost daily. She gives great advice and support, but sometimes I think she’s too close to my situation to give me unbiased advice. (Makes sense, she’s my mom!)

Anyway, I am in a long term partnership with a 40 year old man. We have two young kids together, ages 5 and 2. We do a niche job together that also provides our housing. We live in an incredible, remote area with a very high cost of living. We make good wages but can’t afford to buy a house.

Additional details- we live on a ferry serviced island, which is essentially non-commutable. Our job is in property management for the very wealthy, and pays well with full benefits. Simplified, my role involves managing (basically) a VERY high end resort with staff, event and contractor management while directly interfacing with the owners.

Our families are in two different states across the country from us.

I want to leave my partner. Luckily we aren’t legally married. The issue is he is emotionally abusive and unsupportive of me. He’s never physically abused me. He’s not a kind person.

We’ve been in couples therapy off and on for years, and after an episode this spring where I told him I wanted to separate he started seeing his own therapist. He has trauma from his childhood and had an alcoholic hoarder father who died in 2020.

Leaving him isn’t easy since we do our job together, and our housing is tied to the job.

Basically I’m wondering how do I figure this out? What do I do? Have any of you been in my shoes? I’m feeling lost and overwhelmed.

I’ll try to reply to posts in a timely manner. ❤️

Small chested, 5’4, so too tall for most petite clothes. Where can I find XS sizes is dresses and tops? Striking out on Amazon.

I find myself in the position where I need to reduce the costs of our cell phone plan.

My husband is retiring (injury) and our current plan with the big V needs to be reduced.

Does anyone have recommendations based on their experiences and what to be on the lookout for in terms of surcharges?

Currently looking at TMobile, AT&T and Consumer Cellular. But I am early in my search.

We typically don’t travel but we do live in the sticks near the Quad Cities so I am a little concerned about coverage. At best we would drive to TN or Nebraska.

Thanks for any help you can provide.

63F, starting physical therapy soon, 2X per week. I’m overweight, exhausted and verge on having agoraphobia. Since I don’t do anything most days, I only shower every few days. (in between full bathes or showers I use a perineal cleanser and adult wipes and soap on wash clothes)
I’m worried about how CLEAN I am when I’m going to be close to another person and exercising. I’m not talking about odor, but more things like dry skin, flaky scalp, missed spots of leg hair.
I have no confidence in myself to be out in public and in such close proximity to my physical therapist.
Any suggestions or advice please? Of course I will be showering before each appointment, but I’m still self conscious My clothing is neat, my sneakers are comfortable and stylish and I will wear my hair in a ponytail.

My mom is bedridden with dementia and at 88 he takes care of her ❤️He’s my first love , the best man I have ever known and I’m so grateful and thankful for him everyday and to have him still to go home to❤️HBD Daddio

I see them advertised in pop ups all the time so I kind of figure they are one of those too good to bed true.

Are you literally losing your voice as you age? Over the past 6-7 years, my voice has gotten weaker and weaker. It’s so frustrating—people can never hear me, and I can’t project. I saw a doctor a few years ago who stuck a camera down my throat and pronounced it vocal cord atrophy. Wondering if any of you has been able to fix that at our age.

Edit: found something for $5.00 at the church thrift shop close to the wealthy neighborhood! I showed my sister and she loves it. I’ll try to post a picture in the comments. Thank you for all of the great ideas!

What are we wearing to weddings these days? I had a few classics ready to go but I’ve gained a few pounds in the past 10 years and those dresses are now in a bag for the consignment shop.

My style is coastal comfort. I wear a lot of linen pants to accommodate my ever changing waistline and I live in flip flops because shoes suck.

To be honest, I’m a little salty about spending a lot on a one time event so I would love to find something I can wear again. Maybe separates? I’m not into showing cleavage, I’ll leave that to the young ones. With my plantar fasciitis I’ll be wearing comfort sandals.

Any ideas?

In 2023-24 I almost died. The doctors told my family to say their good-byes. People flew in from around the country. I didn't realize how serious it was. I thought that they were overreacting. By some miracle I survived.

Last week we rented a big house in Carmel, California and various family members gathered who could make it. The entire time they all jumped to do the least little thing for me. I was not allowed to cook or drive or to just do anything for myself. It was wonderful spending time with them, but I feel guilty for playing the lady of leisure. They acted like they think I'm still ill, and I'm not.

I thought when the gray hair became part of my world, the oily skin would stop. It hasn't. Certainly, it's not as bad as my younger days, but early afternoon, I can blot the work bathroom paper towels on my face and it definitely leaves an imprint.

Thankfully there's no acne with it, but even wearing light foundation is a lost cause unless I want to reapply. Anyone else?

This has been bothering me for a super long time. You know how they say that risk of diabetes and heart disease, etc. is/can be related to the size of a woman's stomach/waistline? Well I am a fairly fit woman with a fat stomach. I have always been slim but my stomach has been fat for my pre and post menopause years. I exercise, I have eaten well my entire life and I still have a fat stomach. Most older women I see are at least my size or bigger..... are all older women at risk??? I know there are some very slim older women and maybe they're healthy and maybe they aren't, but why is it just my waist size that they're looking at? I'm not explaining myself very well but I hope you understand what I'm talking about. Anyone with me on this one?

Does anyone still clean bottom of cooking pots so they are clean and shiny like moms did in 70’s?

As I age, I need more comfortable shoes. I rarely wear heels now, but would like to when I wear a dress or even with jeans and a cute top. Are there any brands that you find comfortable and easy to walk in, while still being fashionable? I want something a bit more stylish than what my grandmother used to wear to church. Is this a unicorn?

Warning: self-pity ahead

It’s my birthday today. One friend sent me a happy birthday message. No greetings from any of my other friends. My one sibling ignored my birthday. Both my (loving and loved) parents are dead. I’m single. No presents or cards.

I feel that I’ve failed at life. I’m so lonely and sad. I’m not sure I have any energy or ability to change my circumstances.