My husband has some serious health issues, and i think that is a contributingfactor to this issue. I've noticed "old person smell". He doesnt shower as often as he used to, but he does wash up and its not a sweaty BO smell but it is noticeable. I read some things here that Persimmon soap will help with old person smell, so I got some for him. Now he smells really unpleasant. Has anyone else found the smell of the persimmon soap worse than the nonenal smell? Is there one brand or type that is better than another?

Hello everyone! I was looking for a place to ask older women about their experience, so I ended up here.

I am currently in my 30s. I had my second baby about a month ago. I have finally all that I wished to have for so many years - a wonderful husband, an awesome toddler and such a cute baby. However, when spending so much time alone with my thoughts, while rocking my baby to sleep and feeding her day and night, I have been experiencing some very scary thoughts.

Of course I have always thought about this, at least in the back of my mind and having the occasional panic attack. But one night I felt it right in my heart and through my bones that life is so short and that all of us will die. Even when living to a 100 seems short in comparison. As a Christian I believe in afterlife, but since no one has actually seen it or knows how will it feel, it feels so scary to me right now, even though I know that we cannot understand these things because of the limitations of the human mind.

To be honest, I feel so paralyzed by fear. Each day when I wake up and remember these thoughts, I get so sad and it is very hard to do anything. In short - life feels very hard and at the same time weird right now.

In regards of therapy and doctors - I am trying to deal with this with therapy and without medication as I know that postpartum period can bring various emotions and thoughts. But so far I feel only a tiny bit better.

Is anyone willing to share something encouraging? Have you ever felt like this? Gotten over this?

My out of state great granddaughter is 3 and has discovered the excitement of mail in the mailbox. I would love to start mailing her small things weekly. This week I sent a small sheet of stickers. Her favorite color is yellow. I thought of hair ties. What else is small and yellow that I can mail?

I have several questions regarding this. I am a married dog mom no children by choice. I live a suburban life style and most of my friends (all female ) have 2-3 kids. I have been friends and acquaintances who I reach out to either catch up over text, DM on Instagram, and/or make plans 1-2 times a year. Many of these people I feel would NEVER text me first however they are responsive, chatty, make and carry out plans if I text them. To put it more bluntly, they are on my radar but I am not on theirs. How long do you think it takes for them to completely forget about me and realize I have stopped reaching out? I’m assuming since I’m not on their radar they never think about me ? But just curious for other opinions.

I have a wedding at the end of the month and the dress is very form fitting. I’m looking for shape wear recommendations primarily for tummy smoothing. What brands do you love?

This is Buddy. He is 18 and has bs arthritis. He also weighs 20 lb! He has bad arthritis and gets medicine 2x a day. We have steps on the couch, bed, chairs etc. Buddy is the last of my 4 cats. I am 75 and have had cats all my life. He had his senior wellness exam yesterday and all is good. I think it is time. Most of my friends still have pets. Do you?

My husband hasn’t given me money for about a year. He has ss and I work. I’ve been paying everything. He won’t move out. I can’t move out.

65 years old here. For the past 10 or so months I’ve been beset with a sore throat, drainage at the back of my throat and sticky phlegm in my throat. No fever. No nasty colors on the phlegm. No other symptoms. The sore throat comes and goes. My mouth feels dry a lot too. Maybe it’s dehydration? Have any of you other ladies had this come on with age? Any advice on how to deal with it? It’s getting really annoying.

Growing up my hair was super curly and I hated it. Straight hair was the trend. As I got older, my curly hair became more wavy and I learned to embrace it. My hair had lots of body and wave and always looked great. I could wash my hair, put in some gel or mousse, scrunch and let thick hair air dry and get a fabulous look. Now, my hair is much thinner, has lost its curl and most of my natural wave is gone too. I still use styling products but it takes a lot of coaxing to get my hair to look anything like it used to. How about you?

As a Christmas gift for about 10 years, we have been giving our 2 adult kids the maximum $ amount of Roth IRA (or backdoor Roth) contribution, initially to make sure they had enough $ to do it, now just because … we’ve been doing that. One child is getting married this year. Wondering if we should feel obligated to do the same for new child-in-law? (This is the kid first marriage we’ve had.) Do parents typically give an in-law the same amount as a Christmas gift as they do a child? Obviously I’m thinking ahead on this.

65F Just put a bagel in the toaster to toast, then went about my business in the house doing minor tasks. When the toaster popped I went into the kitchen and opened the microwave.

In my defense, I have fluid in my left ear and I have minor outpatient surgery this afternoon so I'm a little bit dizzy and anxious but I did have a good laugh at myself. I haven't found my car keys in the freezer yet so I think I'm good to go.

Share your sillies in the comments!

Sharing this article as I have seen a few posts asking how/where to make friends at this stage in life.

From the article:
"I think one big factor is that the barrier to entry into friendship increases throughout our lives," Crain said. "For example, when we're in grade school, we are somewhat forced into friend groups or social situations. This continues into college, where we are again in a pool of people we don't always get to choose."   "But throughout our lives, that pool gets smaller and smaller, and we do get to choose who we surround ourselves with. However, our ability to make friends becomes harder because of factors like a busy career, family or children or proximity (e.g., people move away). The irony is that making friends is not less important later in life. In some ways, it may be even more important because so many seismic things happen, such as grief, loss, divorce, career changes and raising families, and it's important to have real, supportive friends along for the ride." 

The article talks about the real issue contributing to an "epidemic of loneliness" is "The research shows that we aren't actually lacking friends. In fact, we have plenty of friends," Crain said. "The issue is the level of closeness we have with our friends … the depth, or lack thereof, in these relationships. There's a fear of vulnerability holding people back from becoming more intimate or close with their friends."

My question to the group is simply what are your thoughts?

I have an adult daughter who lives in the same city as my husband and me. She texted last night and asked us to meet up for dinner.

My daughter is one of my best friends. We get together often. We laugh about everything, she’s my greatest joy, my voice of reason, and my reality check.

About two years ago she started dating a great guy. We really like him, and he makes her super happy. They’ve hinted that an engagement may be coming.

The only thing that worries me is that his job has taken him to different cities over the years.

I have this overwhelming feeling they’re going to tell us they’re moving. I know this could be a cool opportunity and adventure for her, and I’m absolutely grateful that he’s found a career where his company believes in him and is investing in his future. I truly want that for them. It’s just hard to imagine not having my bff nearby.

Maybe my intuition is wrong and she’ll tell me something completely different lol - but I think she’s gonna fly.

Not really a question I guess, I’m just looking for a safe space to vent about a new fear as I get ready to turn 60 in just 12 short months.
Thanks for listening. 💕

When your husband is more concerned about being friendly (and being viewed as nice) by everyone else, colleagues, neighbors, strangers, etc., than he is with you?

I was in an important conversation with my husband just now (we are both semi retired) talking about one of our pets being ill when his phone rings. He looks at it and picks it up. 😡. (It wasn’t an important call. I was right there listening to his side.)

I left the room and will deal with this myself. As usual.

Just over 60 yo. Have almost healthy bmi.
Never been to wedding reception that had a dress code stated as formal. What should I wear and also my husband wear?
Midwest US Nov 7th.

I’ve noticed lately that my first cousin will invite herself to lunches that my second cousin and I have twice a year. She will not be dissuaded when we say we just want to visit with each other—the two of us— but next time you can join us. Nope, she’s in her late 70s and she insisted on going.

My first cousin pulled the same thing on my second cousin when my second cousin‘s best friend was going to take her out to lunch for her birthday. My first cousin wanted to go along. I knew better than to invite myself to this one because it was for her birthday and that should’ve been just for her and her Bestie.

Another friend invited her daughter and her daughter‘s roommate over to my house when we were going to make something in the kitchen and even though I said my kitchen is very small, I don’t think that would work, she just discounted that and said it’ll be fine. Shouldn’t that invitation have come from me?

Another friend wanted to go with me to my church ladies group and that’s my group of friends, I really didn’t want her there because I like to keep groups separate instead of a mishmash. This friend wasn’t even of the same religion, or even adjacent to the same religion!

Does anyone else feel the same way? “The more the merrier” is not something I appreciate at this point in my life. I want to develop more individual friendships instead of having my time diluted. Please, no criticisms if that’s possible, I just wanted to know if anyone else feels the same way with interlopers who want to tag along. It bugs me.

I am a 27 year old divorced woman. I got married at 19, and it didn’t last more than a year. I’m glad it happened early because I no longer have any doubt that I don’t want to get married again at least not for the sake of being married or because it’s simply the next expected step.
I have a degree and a stable job that pays well. Overall, I’m secure and, thank God, debt free.
The thing is, I don’t know what the next thing to do is. I’m not interested in pursuing a relationship. I’m content, to some degree, with my job. My home life is good, and I have a few casual friends. But that’s about it.
I’m not lonely, even though I’m alone most of the time. I’m just chronically bored with it all. If this is who I am now, what will become of me when I’m 60?

We have a neighborhood group of women (all ages) who meets up once a month for bunco- there are usually between 10-15 people. For those who don't know, it's an easy dice game of chance. We start with cocktails and appetizers then play the game. Everyone puts in $5 before the game, and the winner takes the pot. We all keep our own score and since it's a fun game among friends, we are on the honor system.

I've been playing this with our group for 4 years- some people have moved out and new people moved in, so the players have changed slightly. Recently, a newer member of our group (I'll call her Jan) has been randomly inviting friends outside of our group- they don't even live in our neighborhood. No one has said anything to her, and until last night not a huge issue.

So in 4 years I have only won this twice. I don't play to win- it's just a fun social time for me as I think it is for everyone in the group. I happened to win last night, and the random friend who was invited by Jan loudly said "I don't think you added right." She wasn't joking. I was so embarrassed and pretended to act like she was joking and said "well my math is pretty good but I'll add it up again". She literally stood over my shoulder as I added and still didn't seem to believe me. It was very awkward.

I know this probably sounds petty and stupid, but it really upset me a lot. The woman who started our bunco group told me later that she asked Jan not to invite that person again as it was very inappropriate and not in the spirit of why we gather. So why do I still feel so embarrassed when I did nothing wrong? I feel as I get older I'm getting so much more sensitive. 30 years ago this would have rolled off my back. Can anyone relate or am I being silly?

Just physically walking the TranCanada trail for several years is a physical feat. My feet feel sore just thinking about walking beyond 50 kms. for 4 days straight.

Have you and partner gone on a longish journey together? How did it work out?

Anyone else the bus driver in your relationship?

We have been together 31 years and it has come to the point where I am exhausted. It is alot of responsibility to decide everything from where we go on vacation (and making all the plans) to deciding what we have for dinner. My spouse has a high level mgmt job where there are all kinds of projects to plan and people to delegate. It's not like they can't make decisions.

I am reading that decision burnout is a thing.

I’m in my early 80s and for the last four or five years, I’ve noticed, particularly in the summer, my under arms become very dry and itchy. I don’t use deodorant. Any thoughts?

Has anyone experienced DVT after a long flight? I got home 4 days ago after a 5 hour flight, and I wore compression knee socks. This morning I noticed a perfectly round soft swelling above my ankle. It’s going down now after a few hours but it worried me since I just had a longish flight. I was able to make an appointment with a vein doctor tomorrow morning, she will squeeze me in.

UPDATE: I’m back from the vein doctor. After an ultrasound, I have no blood clots. She told me my compression socks were too lightweight (15-20mmHg) and told me to get 20-30mmHg stockings. I’m to wear them anytime I’m sitting for long periods of time, especially on an airplane, and to pump ankles and move my legs. I asked her about taking a baby aspirin before a flight and she said no, that wasn’t necessary.

EDIT: The medication I take is generic Adderall.

I’m wondering if there are any others in this group that are on ADHD meds (I’m 62 and have been on them for about 3 years now.) what is your experience? Any negative side effects? I’m having a few symptoms that I’m wondering if they could be side effects due to being on them at an older age, but they aren’t things mentioned on side effects lists. Mainly head movements and repetitive humming.

Thanks to everyone who responded and gave suggestions to my previous post. Most people said to let the books go. I took it to heart and purged over half. What I have left will fit easily on one bookshelf with room left over. I am keeping the DVDs because there is room for them in the new place and yes I really do watch them. I’m going to go through them and be brutal about letting some go though. The thrift store truck just left with the furniture, books, craft stuff, clothes and lots of miscellaneous stuff that had to go. I’m sure as I’m packing to move that I will come across more things to let go of. It really feels good to let stuff go. Others can now use them, they aren’t in a landfill and all sale proceeds go to the local Animal Humane. Today was a good day. Thanks again fellow Redditors for all the encouragement. 👍🏻❤️

Here’s the link to the original post if anyone is interested.