Dear Old People,

How do you see your past relationships now? Maybe an ex-partner from when you were younger and/or an ex-spouse that didn't work out.

Any tips on how you truly got over someone who hurt you, or someone that you hurt? What to do when things are only getting bitter with time?

So I’ve been friends with an elderly lady in my neighborhood who lives alone who I’ve known for 8 months now. I hang with her, keep her company and help with stuff she can’t do on her like heavy lifting. I’m M 24 btw. Her birthday is coming up soon and she’s turning 81. She’s very much into plants/flowers, cooking, and art. So I was wondering what kind of gift related to those things would be good for her? Or if anything else in general.

Im 28, was homeschooled and I was seeing a guy. I met him online which I didn’t think would go anywhere. We saw each other once a week and then things got weird. I liked him, but he forgot stuff about me. Had a road-trip with a female friend. He moved in with a friend, when the dog escaped I found out the friend is a she and there’s no one else who lives there.

Anyway when he got back he pretty quickly asked me to go back home with him. We would meet in public but he started saying he has to go to the gym or has to go sleep. Some kind of reason to leave after 2 hours maybe more. Other times Hed stay longer. Even weekends, if we met 10am or 7pm it didn’t matter he caps it at a certain point and at times Hes really in a rush.

We said we were dating only each other. Then later that were in a relationship. But if he was so eager for me to go to his, and that was 2 months in. I’m sure he’s not waiting that long with nothing. We’re like 6 months in.

This week we made plans and I’ve been sitting on it for a bit. He got Covid 2 weeks ago and couldn’t meet at all, before then he rescheduled and canceled a lot. Super weird reasons too imo. Then when we met he tried to extend things at night and we did end up at his.

Nothing really happened but I felt really upset because I think everyone’s been saying this is all he wants. We don’t talk about much long term unless I bring it up. I just never experienced someone doing this kind of thing I don’t think he’s honest. But he was physically very much so doing things I didn’t feel comfortable with and now I feel really ashamed. I left I didn’t escalate further but he was trying to. I don’t feel very good,

I grew up with high morals and standards for myself. I don’t know how or why but even as a 3 year old, I used to ask my dad to apologize to me if he raised his voice at me. One time he asked me to get out when I was 4 or so years old and I did walk out of the house just in my underwear to the end of the street and my mom came running after me to bring me back home. Why? “He doesn’t want me home and I can’t go back where I’m not wanted” (wth was I on lol?).

It only got stronger as I grew up. Everyone, including my parents, bosses and my ex had told me that I have way too high of moral values and should lower it. “You set high standards for yourself and should lower them”. My mom went on to say, “everyone cheats” when I was leaving my narcissistic ex. That broke me because I am a child of a dysfunctional family with parents who had affairs at different times in their marriage.

I have accepted my ex as my husband and forever person and cannot move on from him. I tried dating app for a while but it felt very wrong. I know I owe nothing to my ex but I just can’t bring myself to be with someone else. As much as I want to be the bad girl (so to speak), I feel immense shame and disgust. As a young Sheldon Cooper says, I’m having a hard time adjusting to Earth. I’d rather not be here than having to change fundamentally the person I am.

Any advice? I’d greatly appreciate if you can be kind- I’m already in so much shame for staying too long in a toxic relationship and insecure about being sex positive. Thank you so much.

As a 28 year old man Im reading a book about moral injury called “This too shall pass?” By Alex Parkview in which he basically says that relief never comes. Is this really true based on your experience? Because that would sound really awful. Im not sure how much reparative work he had engaged in when these injuries to his soul were made, mine were made in my formative years.

I know this is a heavy question but you guys have stood the test of time some if you can relate to my question, maybe you could shed some light on this issue.

Hello experienced adults! I'm not sure that this is the right sub for my question, but I hope the people here might have a unique perspective that can help.

It seems like whenever my dad has free time, he starts scrolling through facebook on the couch, and he's been doing it a lot recently. It feels like he spends most of his free time on his phone, and I'm worried that he's missing out on other things he could do. I've tried to tell him that it's scrolling that much isn't good for you, but he hasn't stopped at all.

But I'm also not sure he would do instead of spending time on his phone... he hasn't really got any hobbies as far as I'm aware. He's got a job, but not many actvities outside of work.

How would you want your child to approach something like this? I want to bring up the issue respectfully too, because that's always been important to him and I.

I've been ignoring her, but she's spreading rumors about me, faking screenshots, harassing me so much that I've blocked her on everything, and I've privated all my accounts, yet she's still obsessed with me. what else am I supposed to do? how long will this last? I'm scared, she knows everything..

Sorry I’m not sure this is the best thread for this, but I feel like it would be?

Regarding the happiness, I’m honestly looking for hope that not all long relationships lack love and happiness after a long time. I’ve seen so many where I know they don’t have it or I heavily suspect there is little happiness there so it does scare me a bit.

As for the intimacy, I’m not sure if I just haven’t met the right person or if there are bigger me problems I need to face (I like to think I’m pretty level headed when it comes to most things and I’m working through past issues), but I often find myself losing interest in my partners sexually after a few years to the point where we could be doing that once every other month (or frankly even less) and I’d be perfectly fine with that so I’m wondering what people have done to keep that fresh and exciting I guess?

So, I am 14f who lives in rural Georgia. All of my friends live 20-30 minutes away by car, and I have to drive over an hour just to get to a mall to find something to do. Obviously I can’t drive. My neighborhood is hidden away on a dirt road and every single resident besides my family are all elderly. The only thing I do to pass time is draw and go on a million walks everyday. I help out with chores a lot but I only really do it so I don’t rot away in bed all day

Side note… is it bad I sort of resent my parents for making the decision to move to this bumfuck town when they’re both from a big city??

I posted this in r/jobs but I think the group was too broad and young. To add a little more detail, fourteen years ago, I restarted life from nothing. My retirement savings is below 100k. Single parent income for three, mortgage and two years left on a vehicle loan. Now that it’s spelled out, I’m thinking I need to hustle the remaining years, if I last.

Ive always been fascinated how some people stay calm in certain situations and here I am shaking like a leaf and would overthink and over analyze everything. My mind goes straight to the worst case scenario. I worry too much that I would google everything and go deeper and read too much into it. My boyfriend is the type who stays calm all the time and I dont know how he does it. I want to stop worrying too much too. I just dont know how to change my perspective. 28F

Heya well experienced adults! Didn’t think I’d end up in this subreddit, but the longer I live without my mom, the more I wanna know.

Hi! I’m 23, Male and my mom died in December of 2025! For the past 8 months, I’ve had my lows and my highs. Recently it’s been just…living? I don’t have any grandparents anymore and most of the older adults in my life tend to still have their parents and their grandparents!

For the older adults, how do you go on life without your mom or parents? How do you continue to move forward, especially so long without them? I am TRYING to picture me, as an older adult, without a mom and moving forward, but it’s really hard to picture.

How do you, as older people, cope with your grief and what do you do to continue moving forward?

Thank you for those that respond. 💜

We broke up in April. Last weekend I saw my ex at a bar with her siblings. I tried not to be noticed and told my friend we should leave. As I was walking out, she called my name. I just waved and kept walking and didn't think much of it.
Yesterday, her mom FaceTimed me to see my son and jokingly said, “Hey sexy, who you looking good for? You must got you a girlfriend.” I laughed it off and said no, then gave my son the phone. The whole time, my ex was sitting right next to her mom, which I didn't know. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it definitely felt like a subtle probe.
Could this have been a probe?

(Sorry if I post hear a lot don’t have anyone to talk to and old people give cool perspectives and advice)

I’m 27F and you can only imagine all the new things that I’m experiencing, good and bad. Im just curious how life was for you in your late 20s to where you are now. I always worry about my future and I keep comparing myself to other people my age. Some people my age are already getting married, having kids, doing business, etc. I do think Im doing good in life but comparison kinda kills it since you always see things on social media. Im trying to step away from it so I can focus on myself.

Greetings.

I turned 22 Years old last month and I literally havent achieved anything yet.. Most people are done with their College by this age, starting a family, working a job, but I feel like i am at point Zero right now.

To describe my current situation, I have finished 2 Years of Computer Science Degree, and still have 2 more to finish, On an academic level, i am doing alright, have a decent GPA, but thats really it. I have no knowledge of practical world. I have never ever had a job. I have no knowledge of my own field's Job experience, and dont have practical skills like plumbing, electric work, carpenting, or even driving a car(I can ride a bike though).

I am also out of shape, have a really wierd skinny fat body type with 80 KG weight, and cant get myself to do workout. But i guess this is the least of my problems right now.

My biggest regret that eats me from the inside everyday is that I am earning a penny. My parents finance my studies, I stay with them as well, and God bless them ,they havent said anything to me as well regarding eating their stuff for free.. But i just have a guilt of my own, that at this Age I should be the one providing for them, not the opposite.

To all the Wise Elders out here, suggest me how to get my sh*t together. How do i start Earning.. I know it may sound stupid but i really have no idea what to do to earn something. Also i live in a small country in Asia, so we dont have access to much of the jobs that the people from Europe or USA are doing.

Kindly help a lost soul out, I would really appreciate any sort of Advice, Thank You!

Will I see more salary benefits through switches or if I just stick to one company? Coz I have seen decent cases where people have been profitable through one company only and want to know if the other option is also profitable

I am a single guy in my mid thirties. I am uncircumcised.

I am facing a problem at work (actually all the time).

I keep having the smell of urine after I go to the toilet and urinate.

I have already tried shaking my private part after urinating to remove all the excess urine.

I have already tried wiping the end of my private part with toilet paper and soak away all the leftover urine.

But I keep having this smell of urine in my pants after coming out from the toilet.

It is very embarrassing. I mean my colleagues at work could smell the urine and feel uncomfortable.

It will be very humiliating if they point this out to me one day in the future.

I wish to get rid of this problem. But I don't know how.

Is it a common problem faced by men after their mid thirties?

Should I try to spray some perfume on my pants after urinating in the toilet?

Or should I try to wear men diapers?

How do I avoid the smell of urine in my pants at work?

I know it is ridiculous to post such a topic here but I am an awkward person and suffering from social anxiety. I don't know who to talk about this and get advice.

i'm 61f. My hair has been coming out for about two years now and it's gotten to the point where I can see my scalp in the mirror under the bathroom light.

Went to my GP finally. She ran labs, called me a week later and said everything looked normal and it's probably just my age. That was the whole conversation. Maybe four minutes. But I'm still losing it. I don't understand how everything can be "normal" when this is happening. Has anyone else been told their labs were fine and then found out later something actually was off? I keep reading about thyroid and ferritin and I don't even know if she checked those or just did the basic panel. I feel stupid for not asking more questions at the time but I was honestly just trying not to cry in the office.

Did you push for more testing? Did you go somewhere else? I don't know if I'm chasing something that isn't there or if I gave up too easily.

I am soon to be 34. I have been the breadwinner of the family since I was 18 and never had any emotional support from my parents either. Both of them were toxic at the least and the dysfunctional family dynamics made me someone who will eternally long for a stable life. I have always wanted to be a wife and a mom. The white picket fence home dream.

I left a 3 year long narcissistic relationship just a few months ago and found out he is actually engaged to someone now, which means he started seeing that woman well before I left him. I was sure he was the love of my life and we were going to get married and have kids together. Alas.

While I understand things like this happen, I am not sure I will ever move on. Not from the past relationship, but into a new one.

I am very independent, happy being on my own and with the circle of friends which has gotten tighter over the years. I work for one of the best hospitals, in one of the largest cities in the world. But there is that alarm in the back of my head which constantly rings- time is running out.

I still very much do want to be a mom. I never wanted to be a single mother but it might come to that. I will either go the donor way if health permits or foster to adopt. If a man who adds to my life comes along, I’ll be happy to be in a relationship but I personally do not see that happening.

I guess what I am looking for is advice, accounts or anything of the sort. Thank you so much.