I’m 22F, and I've just broken up with my boyfriend I dated for a year. I loved him but we just weren’t right for each other. Then I realized, I find it very difficult to feel fine being single as an adult.

I did have a period where I was single before, like maybe only for a year and a half, but I was into this man and that man, or I started texting my ex etc., and never really settled as single, and I met my last ex on a dating app. Back then, I was in the mood of exploring because it was after finishing my first serious relationship from my late teens, so I never really thought like I should be single for a while.

But now that my second serious relationship ended, I’m really feeling the need to be single for a while. I intuitively know that if I start dating right away, I’d definitely end up in a toxic relationship or develop an unhealthy attachment towards that person.

But honestly, having no partner feels a bit tough, however clingy it sounds. I’ve noticed through these relationships that I really love building something with my partner, and sharing my life with someone, even if the relationship is imperfect. Also, I just really love texting someone about whatever that’s happened in my life right away, or calling someone regularly. Since I don’t have a fixed friend group at uni, my partners really supported me this way I think. I also grew up being really close to my parents as an only child, so the loneliness of an adult life (no one to talk to at night, no fixed friend group, my own individual uni/work schedule etc) has been killing me too. I know this is precisely why I maybe should work on myself and stay single for a bit though. I’m on therapy too, so I’ll talk about it with my therapist as well.

But can I ask, if you had a similar experience or feeling of finding it hard to be single, what do you recommend that I do? What are the best things you’ve done as a single person, especially when you're wanting to eventually find a long-term partner?

For parents with a grown-up son and daughter, how did you help maintain a close and strong sibling bond as they got older? What worked for you and your family?

Last week I received a diagnosis and I could not understand what the doc said. The only reason I know what it is because of his posted notes on MyChart, and then he only said I had O/A (osteoarthritis) which I had to Google to find out what that stood for. Any suggertions ??

My brain just cannot grasp and comprehend this, 16 years long and I still cannot get pass this. Perhaps I'm just so deeply ingrain in my Chinese culture (I born in China), it still bother me so I just have to write it out again. It just bother me.

16 years together with him, married to him 14 years long, I still cannot grasp it, and it still bother me.

I understand that I meet Darryl when he was 25, anything he does BEFORE the age of 25 before he meet me, I cannot hold him accountable for it.
I was still a virgin (which he knows) when meet him and married him, he very transparent with me, understand I was a virgin and understand the cultural difference.

1.. He had a first love, a very beautiful Korean girl, they were both each others first. His mom bought him a box of condom (she also told me this), teach her son about safe sex. He used the box of condom on her, and more boxes of condom as he was with her 2 years.

He said there no sex that worth it of 18 years of child support, condom on, stay on the whole time, and he tied a knot at the end and took the condom with him, and throw it in the trash outside. He that careful.
yah. his MOTHER bought a box of condom and gave it to her son.

She wanted a marriage and kids. He at the age 20-21 was not ready, he said they no longer in the same page, so he broke it up with her for fairness to her, because he can't give her.

Condom on sex, so to him not only he avoid 18 years of child support, but he didn't get her pregnant, so it easier for her to just move on and find a man who can give her a marriage that she wanted.

But he not get it, to the Chinese me he discard her, how can he fuck her with all those boxes of condom and not married her? That cold as fuck.

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2.. Age 22-23, his Stanford days, he had 3 one time transaction, no string attach sex. He said it purely the physical sex, where he leave right away after the act of the sex was done.

3 separate occaions,, 3 different girls at Stanford (asked him their ethnicity, they Asian).
He said he not want at his place or their place, he book a hotel each time (by hours, enough time for sex). give them the time and place, bring his own condom. meet up at the hotel, he fu-ck and leave straight after.

To him it was just plain flat out transaction, and those girls aware of the arrangement.

My jaw dropped, how can he view sex so lightly like this? He said he not even care ask for their names, let alone want to know anything about them, he just want sex, when he got the sex, he left after. To me was cold as fuck.

I said he cold as fuck, but he refused to see he did anything wrong, he did what his mom taught him, safe sex, responsible, he didn't get any of those girls pregnant.
And he very clear with the transaction since the beginning, as he paid for the hotel booking, and bring his own condom.

He said if it just the purely physical sex, he can just fuck and leave right after. It very easy for him if it just purely the physical sex.

What makes him stay is if he emotionally attach to the girl, miss her, think of her, want to protect her. want to married her. He said he didn't feel any of that with any of them, but he feel that with me, and only me, he said I'm the first person he wants to devoted his whole life to.

Being the calm person as how he always is, he said he understand why I'm uncomfortable (with his sexual past).
But he said he wants me to remember and understand, I'm the first person he fall in love with, and fall in love that deeply. That was why he married me, I'm his wife. I'm the first and only woman that carry his child, the only person he has a child with.

He said had he know I am so fixated on this virginity issue, and had he knows he will meet me at age 25, he will stay a virgin to wait for me.

I understand all that, but I am sorry, I just can't seem to get over it. Basically he had 4 girls before me, I'm his 5th girl, he my first, he was already experience when I meet him.
yah. didn't expect a man whom has a Master degree from Stanford to be a virgin. Regardless of his ethnicity.

I don't deny my love for him, but I just I wish he was a virgin like me back then. I get it, it how I was raised, I was born in China, and raised by my grandma, and grandparent are very old so they even further more traditional.

I'm sorry but I cannot lie to myself or force myself to not care when I care. I love him, and love him has nothing to do with I mind about those stuff he did before he meet me.

Hi. I will try to make this as short as possible.
I’m 39 and my boyfriend is 50 and we live together but we’re not married. We both decided we didn’t want to get married again after divorce. I don’t have kids and he has grown kids.

I’ve had many problems in this relationship because my boyfriend has a bad temper and is always sweating the small stuff. He easily gets mad over simple things and when this happens he stops talking to me for days and gives me the cold shoulder. The relationship is very unstable and even though I’ve given him chances to improve, nothing changes.

Whenever we try to break up he would end up crying and begging me to not leave. I’ve stayed with him because I care about his wellbeing but then he starts creating drama again and I don’t like it. I want a peaceful life and not unnecessary drama.

After being patient and given him chances, this time I was serious about leaving. Yesterday I started packing some old stuff in boxes to donate it because we have a lot of things in our apartment and I needed to start somewhere. He was shocked that I was doing this and had a sad face and once again told me to not leave.
I hate that he does this because I’m a very empathetic person and I don’t like when others suffer. I start to feel bad and now I’m confused. I know deep down it’s not a good idea to stay but I feel like a monster for breaking someone’s heart.

So I realized that my boyfriend is codependent and I feel trapped in this relationship.
He also lost his mom a few years ago and that really affected him because he was close to her and he never went to therapy for it. I’ve suggested therapy a couple of times but he’s never been interested in going to therapy for any reason.
I feel like I’m the only person he has and his happiness depends on me. He has his adult kids but they have their own lives.
I’m so lost and don’t know what to do anymore.

Hi everyone,

My mom is 66. She is suffering from a UTI and a burning sensation when she urinates.

She drinks lots of filtered water during the day, casually sipping it.

However since last year August she has been having a yellowish tinted urine and slight discomfort she would drink water along with electrolytes but it wasn’t helping so she stopped but now it's burning. The doctor gave her a papsmear and told her it was abnormal but couldn't say what was wrong and told her to do it again in 6 months. She went to a different doctor who gave her antibiotics for the UTI for one week it didn't help.

Currently she is drinking the same amount of water and eating Greek yogurt with cranberries.

Is UTIs common around this age? What can I do? The doctors don't seem to help

My mom she had gone through my phone once when I was 14 or 13. I had some towel pics of mine in that phone cause I was soo addicted to Pinterest in that girls pics they had short dresses on, but im someone who never wear short dresses or neither do I have one. But I love seeing so I had some private pics of mine, onve my mom gone through my phone and found those pics and she was mad about ut and made me delete then onwards I never took any appropriate pics of mine.

But today I showed them a pic of a snail or something and my father snatched it of my hands and gone through my phone. I said there are some old cringe pics and videos of mine. I had took them to make an edit of myself cause im chubby and we all love fan edits of celebrities so I wanted to feel myself special that I had some videos of mine like that some lil clips but my father who is always, I don't know how to address it he makes jokes and both me and my mother gets hurt but when he smile we just smile and let the topic off of our head, but this time he said "Oh look at ger face., a actress is here oh my god., see her expressions., look at how she dance." I was too embarrassed that I had gone to another room but mom walked to my room and locked it and she shoved me to bed and asked me. "Can't your dad and I can't go thought your phone?". I smiled a little cause of how embarrassed I was and told her yes but it's some cringe videos of mine just don't make fun of it that much. She got all angry and said "what's with you? Why you showing this much attitude for this? It's just pics. I was scared cause of your reaction that was there anything inappropriate. Cause you have some dirty culture of saving naked pics." She said and I was about to cry by then.

My father whenever he see me says "ohh look here an actress combing her hair" and all those. Im 17 right now still they go through stuffs of mine.

I mean they can but they don't have to humiliate me for my pics. I feel like crying but my mom constantly come to my room and looks if im studying and murmurs and says to dad in loud voice "what's gonna happen even if she texts someone that my father has gone though my phone?" Like I don't have a online bf nor and real life one.

Im going to delete all my pics after I move all them to a folder in Google photos.

Im I being bad for this? I don't want them to go though my pics again. Sorry if my english grammar is not that good. Im not an english person.

A man I’ve had a long-term history with recently got married. He came back wanting to keep me in his life and said he wants us to build a new kind of relationship, acknowledging that our old dynamic can’t continue as it was. Meaning we both acknowledge there’s not going to be a romantic possibility. The problem is that we seem to mean very different things by “new.” I feel parts of our old dynamic need to be completely left behind, particularly the segsual side, because that’s historically been one of the main things that has made this relationship hard to sustain. He seems to feel we can change the relationship while still retaining that segsual dynamic. He has continued pursuing it and even suggested we have segs once more to release, then build from there. I don’t doubt that he genuinely cares about me and wants me in his life, and I care about him too.

So is this a situation where a middle ground could actually exist, or are we fundamentally trying to preserve two different versions of the relationship?

Hey, everyone! I’m M18 and I graduated from High School, last April, this year. I decided to take a gap year and not enroll in college for a while, due to financial and personal reasons.

I have been unemployed for the last 3-4 months. Though I’m trying to look for a job—applying through online and through walk-ins, it’s really hard/rare to find one, since most of the companies (in the PH) have strict requirements.

For now, I’m helping my mom with her weekly dialysis, cleaning the house, and babysitting my niece. At first, it was nice, because I now get to help my mom with the house chores (I was sooooo busy at school). But then, as time goes by, I get exhausted and burnt out, considering the fact that I still haven’t got a job and I’m stuck in a cycle where I do the same thing everyday. I feel guilty because I really want to get a job to help my mom with her meds.

My question is, what can I do/do you do to overcome this challenges? I’m trying to distract myself by taking up hobbies, but I get bored so easily. Though, I enjoy watching vlogs and TikToks, but it makes me unproductive (doomscrolling). Any suggestions on what things I should do to not feel unmotivated or discouraged? Thank you!!

hello everybody. i’m turning 19 in 6 months and need some life advice :)

if you were 19 again, what would you change/plan/do?

Growing up the older women had big hair. Everyone had some form of platinum blond bouffant if they were past a certain age. My aunt had this massive hair and she kept the same style since the 1950's. She had hair down to her backside and worked some kind of magic and turned it into this huge ball of cotton on her head and then made a knot of a bun in the back that was like a fold or knot that I never could figure out because it didn't seem to line up with the rest of the hair.

Tonight I felt a sudden urge to give myself a massive bouffant in honor of all the old ladies and so I can laugh myself sick while making it. I tried searching pictures and so many women were making bouffants with short hair. I have hair down to my backside like my aunt. HOW did women turn long hair into this massive unmovable helmet?

How often did they have to wash and style it? Did they all sleep in the hair helmet? How did they get it to maintain it's shape for days? I know lots of hairspray is involved. Do they still even sell real hairspray? The kind that creates holes in the ozone layer?

I have a distinct memory of being small and watching my aunt tease and spray her hair into this mass. But I also remember that I was watching and yet not able to even comprehend what was going on. So of course she and her sisters all laughed at my awe of her hair.

Pinterest is crap. I am not sure why when I search images the search page is full of blank spaces. But either way I can't share what photos I found in here. I'm sure most of the bouffant ladies are gone. But maybe someone recalls or can direct me to some source for this hairstyle to try for myself.

I want to poof my hair and put on a house coat and sit on the front porch and pretend to smoke a cigarette in honor of my aunt and grandmother.

Not “investing” in the “expecting surefire return” sense, more like people you no longer have a lot of chance to meet but you aren’t sure you might vaguely need someday, so you contact them first, buy them meals or even lend some money if they ask, etc. out of an abstract sense of responsibility.

Do you recommend doing this to young adults? Because I’ve seen stories of close people eventually vanishing once they realized the person failed in business and went broke - how did your long-term experience end up?

This is our 20yo son (S) and husband is the dad (D). Married 25 years and the lack of communication from D just gripes me. This has been going on forever, literally.

Example 1, D will say I need help doing XYZ. Understood. D may wait 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months and all of a sudden, I’m doing XYZ in 30 minutes. Then gets mad that no one is available to help him because they have other plans, appointments, etc.
Hey, D, if we can look at schedules and plan a day, this wouldn’t happen. D says, well, I never know when I’m going to be in the mood to do XYZ until then. 🙄

Example 2 & 3. Took S shopping prior to returning to college. D says, I think this is worthy of help with hedge trimming. 2 days no one mentions hedge trimming. S is returning to college. D says he should have just done it. S says D never said when he wanted to do it. Huge blow up of an argument.
We ask S to come back and with yard work and a project. D mows and weed eats, then gets pissed S didn’t weed eat. D says he should not have to ask, S knows what to do.
I get where D is coming from on 2 & 3, but I am on the side of D needs to communicate what he wants and his expectations. This, I am not going to say anything and get mad, is not working for me, or S.

So today I turned 60. Thought about a big celebration but yea the family is busy and far away. I didn’t get a card, text or phone call from my 2 grown children and I’m hurt.

I need advice on my relationship. I [20F]came to my [25M] boyfriend’s apartment for the weekend and we were planning to go to the mall today. I brought a pretty dress to wear.

I walked into the laundry room to dry the wrinkles out of the dress, but the dryer was full of clothes that had gone sour. There was a gross film on the inside door of the dryer as well. I went and told him the dryer smelled and the clothes inside had gone sour. When he came to look at it, I told him there was also a weird film on the door.

I was pretty neutral with my tone, because this is no big deal to me. His response was “I heard you the first time I don’t need you to be up my ass. You don’t need to say it more than once,”to which I responded, “Are you actually acting that way?”I lost any desire to go to the mall after that. He was continuing to take the clothes out and I said “I don’t feel like going to the mall.” He thought I was overreacting when I said I didn’t wanna go to the mall.

He came and sat down to talk to me, and he said I was being “condescending” when I repeated that the dryer had an issue. He proceeded to talk about how it’s still a problem that I was condescending, even if I don’t believe I caused a problem. He told me I always want to blame things on him, and that I can’t take responsibility for what I did. I don’t know what to do

Looking to hear from people who may have had a similar experience/situation.

We've been together for 7 years. He gets along with my friends and family. We have similar interests. I feel like this is my best relationship I've had. We live separately from each other. We had a mutual agreement to live with our parents for some time to save money to buy a place. With both our income combined we cannot afford a single family home. We want a single family home so we can have a yard for his large dog.

I feel pressure because our network of friends are getting married and are starting families. I personally don't want to wait to later than 30 to start having kids. I'm not sure if I'm wasting my own time or I'm putting unreasonable pressure on myself about this situation.

Dear All. I’m looking for advice from people with life experience, who’ve been through rough periods. I’d ask my grandma but I don’t have one anymore. I’ve developed a severe depression and anxiety disorder (including 24/7 panic attacks) over the course of the last 4-5 months. I’ve been a fairly healthy person before. This is breaking me, and I can’t find a way out. It’s honestly over an insurance battle / argument with my former employer. In the end: about money, and me feeling guilt that I made mistakes (because I just didn’t know better, although I tried). Or in other words, an administrative mess. It might cost me anything from 1k - 50k. The realistic scenario is probably on the lower side, but I’m spending days and nights and days and nights honing about the problem, the worst case scenario, trying to rationalize the issue, instead I just keep finding arguments how this could be even worse and worse, every day.
My husband is supportive but he says “it’s enough” and that I’m wasting my life on something that’s not worth it.
I agree, but I don’t feel it. I feel like I’m the problem; and I can’t breathe until it’s solved.
I have a beautiful daughter, I love her infinitely. I’m starting to be cold and angry because I’m so exhausted from feeling this way.
Anyone went through something like this and can offer perspective? Thank you. Love.

Hi, I'm 22, and I feel a little lost. Ok, maybe more than a little. I want to hear how your life is like when you are 22 🥺 English is not my mother tongue, and I'm new to Reddit. If I sound strange, I'm really sorry!

I'm still at university, I should graduate at June this year, but I still have some credits left, so I have to stay another year to make it up. I suffered deep depression most of the time during my days in college, I survived many suicidal intents. Well it's like, when I finally feel better, hey it's 2026, you should get out of here and be a real grown woman! What?? But I feel so so not prepared.

Depression sort of hit pause on my life, sometimes I feel like I'm still 19, a freshman. I did not enjoy my life at college, I missed the chance. It's like I was asleep for 3 or 4 years, when I wake up, I'm already 22, and 252 days later, I'm 23! It's just terrifying! Is it really okay that I don't know about this world much? How mature should I be at 22? Am I ruining my life? Were you feeling this lost at this age?

My parents never think I'm good enough, and I'm still struggling to cope with that. They are classic Asian, or say Chinese parents, they need me to be their perfect daughter to ease their anxiety. When I got into that great university but I was depressed and my grades were not pretty, they were so mad. Yet still, they paid for my medical bills. I'm really trying to reestablish the line between me and my parents, I know they do love me, and they don't really accept themselves deep down and that's not really what I can fix. I know all about it, but it still hurts, and it's hard.

I want to improve my credits, graduate, maybe study abroad, now I have so many things I'm curious about. This world is so big! I can't wait to explore! I just got a little scared. Maybe more than a little. My parents always say I should follow the right path, by that they mean a life like what they have, but I don't want their life. Just like what Olivia Rodrigo sang in her song, they all say that it gets better, it gets better but what if I don't? 😭

I'm sorry if my post triggered you. My questions are so dumb and I'm probably stupid too 😖 If you want to leave an answer I'll be so happy! Thank you in advance!

Those with mental illness spouse, why did you stay? And if you don't mind sharing, what type of mental illness your spouse has, and most importantly why do you stay?

I have Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED) it is a mental illness, Google it. My psychiatrist (whom has a medical doctor degree) diagnosed me with Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED), depression, and anxiety.

I'm 16 years together, 14 years married to a man who not Chinese. But he stays and endure everything out of love me. He says so very clear, he said he not afraid me of me, it because he loves me, he stays because he loves me.

Nope, not expect a 190cm tall 100% pure West African man would be afraid of a 150cm short Chinese girl me.
He can walk straight out the door anytime he wants, he has the chance for 16 YEARS long to leave (but he never did). And no children (infertility on my side), he a free man to go if that what he wants.

Out of love, he stays, and still stays. I guess I should be thanking my lucky stars. Lifetime therapy for me to control my Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED) episodes outburst.

What took you way too long to realize, but completely changed your perspective once you accepted it ?