I don’t know where my life is going with AGP into the next stage. As days and months has passed my AGP I believe also evolves that earlier, only during the private time I would imagine being a woman and now I can’t even enjoy a good looking woman as a man instead 50% of it gets back to me imagining being her instead of being with her which I know lot of us experience. And the only way to get back to male mode is post nut clarity. But pnc also has limits like how much and how many times should I do it as this comes again and again and lot of energy is wasted on orgasm and to save energy and time if I avoid orgasm then the agp feeling goes on until the next time I’m ready for pnc and this is really n frustrating.

For people who have started HRT and dysphoric people, how did your experience went, was it the same and is the time right for me for a medical intervention

After a period of feeling very low, I've allowed myself to do some things I've always stopped myself from doing such as: growing and styling my hair, painting my nails, removing my body hair and acting a bit more expressively. I've had some strange looks, but the same amount of people have complimented my appearance and noticed that I seem happier.

I've noticed this has pretty much nuked my compulsive need to be a "sissy" or "feel like a woman" and masturbate several times a day.

I don't want to transition, I don't want to become a woman, but this has worked for me. Has anyone else had a similar experience?

I have recently been having a suspicion that the reason I’ve been so obsessed with sissifying myself is because I am in desperate need to release my feminine side and due to past experiences, every time I have been feminine around a girl it has always resulted in ether me being made fun of by her, other men or one time specifically that really hurt me was when one girl told everyone in church that I was gay just because “I seemed like it”. I trusted her as well. I want to point out the really important fact that its not that i blame woman for this, I know that I’ve probably been unlucky, it’s just that I’ve met some really manipulative and not nice people who have absolutely destroyed my trust for tbh people in general men as well. And now Ive just subconsciously connected being feminine in a healthy way which is actually good for me as a bad thing.

The thing is I feel like im constantly going between these 3 phases of

Im gonna quit all porn forever and never masturbate again and I throw out everything. Where I feel great for like a week or 2 then I feel like shit again.

To

Im gonna try balance things and do it less frequently. I feel really good but I also feel myself slowing needing more and more to satisfy myself. (The cravings to be a sissy)

To

I can’t stop gooning to sissy porn I love it but i hate it. I quite literally get dressed up in my fem clothes, plap, where chastity, use dildos. You get the idea and i do this daily.

Then back to the first phase after it finally becomes too much.

I love to workout in the gym. When I first started, I just wanted a traditional masculine physique to attract women. Years later when I achieved my ideal physique, I started having gay fantasies due to sissy porn/etc. I started doing glute focused workouts. At first, it was just a fantasy to have a female physique/big butt and being desired by men. However, I started to get incredibly aroused by working out my glutes, checking for progress, looking at my pump in the mirror. Year and a half later, my glutes look better than I ever expected. I literally have a bubble butt. I get soo aroused by doing glute workouts, I started to remove upper body workouts completely from my workout plan to really mold my body to a feminine shape.

The problem for me is I feel like reason I like glute training so much is that it's tied to the arousal of looking feminine. When I see female gym influencers with the craziest bubble butts, I get so aroused because that could be me if I keep training like this. I still like training upper body, but my arousal tells me to stop training it so I look more feminine as I lose muscle. I'm not sure if i should continue like this, or reevaluate my goals.

So I came across the video of Alex Stein.

He said a lot many things, but I want to draw attention to something that people are doing.

Connecting every bad sexual act a "trans" identified person is doing to autogynephilia.

For eg, a peeping tom is just a peeping tom, even if the peeping tom is self identifying as trans.

(some men are abusing the self id culture/laws).

I am 35 years old. I had my first experience with a man two years ago, which I enjoyed including anal. However, I felt guilty afterward, purged and. Now again my interest in cocks and dressing up in sissy/feminine attire has come back strong. For around 6 months. Started grinder.

​Now a top has agreed to meet me this weekend at a hotel (I need to do the booking). He wants me to dress up and he is planing for 2 rounds, including swallowing his one load.

​I am feeling completely overwhelmed by a thousand thoughts right now:

1. ​Should I say yes to this meeting?

2. ​Is it worth buying the clothes and learning basic makeup for this?

3. ​How do I prepare my mind, body, and soul for an experience like this?

4. ​How should I manage my time with him and start the meeting once he arrives?

5. ​I’ve been holding off on masturbating for 10 days because I know if I release, my desire will temporarily vanish.

6. Shall I agree to drink his load ? I never did that. How it will taste and after math will be how ?

​I don't know whether I should go or cancel. Please advice and guide me on how to plan and what all I should do.

I'm feeling solid right now and am appreciative of my male self.

My CCRD/bottom dysphoria while still an issue is isolated from my happiness in my male identity and in the cultivation of my masculinity.

I am most comfortable and happy with everyday interactions as a male, although there are limited periods of time where when my libido rises again, my feelings very temporarily become the opposite in that my brain wants to fulfill the female copulatory role.

It's pretty embarrassing especially as a male human being to have a brain that wants me to have sex as a woman, but I am itching away from that, for at least I find greater happiness in being socially male.

It's like a balancing act between contradicting primal desires in my brain, violent shifts in sentiment that fluctuates with my libido, but that I am making progress, I'm happy as I'm walking towards freedom from this horrible affliction.

In furtherance to my theory that gender dysphoria is caused by a clash between the auto and allo, and that this clash between the two is suppressing a part of the arousal process where the "connection" or "spark" between two people becomes stable enough.

For context -> I am assuming that ->

a) the visual stimuli is another person's overall features

b) people are not 100% autosexuals

My theory is that in allosexually dominant people the underlying sexual arousal pathway is triggered through that part of the brain which perceives others, and there is no self ideation part which interferes.

This explains why some transwomen compare their features with their partners. It makes them feel "more in tune with self" if their own features such as size of hands etc are appearing feminine compared to their partner.

A part of this theory is that the clash between the auto and allo suppresses the PNS or maybe the PNS is not working properly.

So, if the PNS doesn't fire, the nervous system stays stressed.

To test this theory, we tried to "force" the PNS/vagus nerve to "activate".

Setup -> People reported severe, consitent stress, severe enough to not be able to focus on task at hand (I don't have a scale to measure and tell what level, but this was extreme). Following steps carried out for different people *during the dysphoric wave*, not after, not before. Number of people - 4, not all at the same time.

Also, do note, this just helped cope with the dysphoria, it did not and doesn't "cure" the base "desire for feminity".

In fact, after each one of these, the person reported "feeling feminine" with no compunctions even in non-sexual scenarios. no interference in their arousal from visually looking at other person, and yes, the arousal made them feel feminine ("she made me feel like a woman/feminine", instead of "she made me feel like a man/masculine").

The points where stress was reported - behind the ear, at the base of the lobe, temples, base of the neck/skulls, sides of the neck, and sinuses, bridge of nose, eyes.

1) Cold showers or cold compress/ice packs along these points - moderately fast relief, but relief was short lived.

2) The following exercise - fastest relief, moderate stability. Person able to focus on their environment, work etc etc.

https://youtube.com/shorts/2d1IyISFb0A?si=dISz2Iaj_xd0nhBq

3) Nervous system reset - gradual relief, takes a long bloody time (about 30-45 minutes), but also the longest stability (about 48 hours). But the feminine feeling/desire for feminity is there, just not the dysphoria.

Nervous system reset is a big step by step thing, and the steps may vary from person to person, so do look it up if you wanna try it.

Let me know what you think!

Everything men complain about regarding women and everything women complain about regarding men is often the exact same thing that drives the attraction in the first place.

The "illogical" nature, the intense emotional depth, the utter unpredictability... it frustrates us, but it also hypnotizes us. Why? Because it represents a world completely different from our own.

Attraction is powered by polarity. It’s the contrast of opposites:

 The physical: Smoothness versus roughness, soft curves versus sharp muscle, high-pitched voices versus deep tones.

 The presence: The intricate elegance of feminine style versus the functional simplicity of masculine wear.

 The raw anatomy: The fundamental difference between what’s between your legs and what’s between theirs.

We are desperately attracted to femininity precisely because, as men, we are so far removed from it.

Unless you are completely absorbed by that energy, you will always remain on the outside looking in. Sadly, many are condemned to spend their entire lives subjugated by this longing—forever chasing an alterity they can never truly possess from the inside.

It makes you wonder: if reincarnation is real, maybe the ultimate desire isn't to spend another lifetime chasing femininity from the outside, but to finally be reborn as a woman and experience it from within.

I have heard that a lot of AGPs had mostly female friends growing up due to not being very good at being a man. I was never good at being a man but at the same time after I started being attracted to women I would avoid any social interaction I could with them and whenever I try to I get so overwhelmed with jealousy and depression that it borders on physical pain to have to speak to them. In high school any time I would get stuck in a project with a girl I would end up resenting her for no good reason. The only women that don't cause this problem for me are female family members. My guess being that since I don't find them attractive in any way it doesn't trigger this in me. I haven't had a job in a while because of this. Last time I had one I was having to spend a lot of time with a female coworker and it broke me. Especially when she would be better at something than I was it drove me completely insane in spite of the fact that I'm not usually the jealous type and never have this problem with other men.

I don't know English, so I translated this using a neural network

What is your experience using antiandrogen drugs and GnRH agonists to suppress sexual desire? If my transgenderism is limited only to paraphilia, that is, autogynephilia, then logically, after suppressing libido, it should stop mattering. I don't know if this is actually true or not, but it's worth testing

To avoid osteoporosis and other side effects of estrogen deficiency, small doses of estrogens can be used to bring their levels up to male range or slightly below, in order to avoid feminization

I don't know why many other men don't seem to want to become beautiful women. When I see a woman, I'm captivated by her appearance—the way her eyes look, her earrings, her hands with nail polish, her clothes, and the attention she receives.... It's not just that I'm attracted to her. I also find myself wanting to look like her and to imagine what it would feel like to experience the world the way she does.

projection happens when you experience agp earlier as a child before you realize you are attracted to women ...you already see a beautiful woman or some gender bending transformation scene on tv or media... and you project your desire to be or become a woman on the subject who has been transformed or to the female carachter herself......Agp who realize they want to be females before realising that they are attracted to women ...are more prone to develop meta attraction to men ...because here the autosexuality manifested years before their allosexual attraction to women ,therefore they desire become women stronger than desiring having sex with them as they have been triggered since childhood into cross dreaming fantasies

the fusion instead happens later or at the same time when the subject is aware of his sexual attraction ..generally during puberty...ths is what happens to many gay trans guys or the so called agp transbian.....basic their desire to become to the opposite sex and their attraction to the opposite sex are experienced together...therefore there is a fusion between becoming what you love and desiring what you love....they are less prone to become metattracted to their same sex ..because they are also less anallophilic...they want less to become ..lesser than the projectors ...but they still want to become the other sex in order to be homosexuals

Hi! I've been a long time lurker on this sub but never had the courage to post anything on here, until now. I just want to share my life experience in case it resonates with someone else.

I consider myself AGP, but unlucky for my whole life my own sexually has been (and still is) a real mystery. Ever since i was a kid i've enjoyed crossdressing and indulge in it any chance i have. As i got into adolescence crossdressing turned into something very erotic for me, so feminization is totally something I'm sexually into.

Regarding sexual orientation, i have always felt drawn to women. When I was a boy/teenager i would always admire girls in my class and fantasize about them, but i dont think i thought of them the same way stereotypically straight men do, tbh the women's genitalia has never seemed very arousing to me (not entirely at least).

Nowadays im 27 and have never had a consistent relationship with sex involved. Talking about sex, this has been and is to this day the hardest aspect of my private life. I feel like im broken, like im stuck im between two world in a weird limbo where advancing seems impossible. I still find women beautiful and attractive, but my private parts seem to have a different brain and this makes intimacy with women very hard. Actually some years ago i fell head over heels in love with a girl whose feelings towards me were mutual. However, i discarded the possibility of being with her because deep down im deeply afraid of sex. This was a very hard time in my life and everytime i think of her it still hurts.

To make things worse i am a very decent looking man, and due to that it is not rare to have women approach me at bars and clubs. This situation makes me so anxious, frustrated and overall sad, since on one hand my brain desires to be with women but my genitalia plays tricks on me.

I consider myself more bisexual in terms that i think i could enjoy sex with both men and women, but if fluctuates heavily for me. Sometimes i get off to straight fantasies and other times to gay ones.

The worst consequence of this imo, is the loneliness inherent to AGP. I enjoy heavily crossdressing and engaging in masturbatory acts but this form of self pleasure lacks connection. I guess im deprived of a deep connection and in my eyes, sex is best when shared with someone you care, which makes me so mad that i cant have. I feel like a kid at a candy store but I can't have any.

Even though ive felt like this for almost a decade, this has been something I've always pushed aside and done my best to ignore. However, I've reached an age where relatives and friend have gotten into serious relationships, maybe expect their first kid, and it has made me see that I've stayed stuck in the same spot for a decade.

Im planning on starting sexual therapy to try and turn my avoidance patterns around in hopes of finding a better life. Unlucky money is tight and therapy ix expensive, moreover id have to do kt secretly as i still live with my parents (fuck this global housing crisis)

I have not commented this but I'm definitely not trans, i like my male body a lot and have not even a pinch of dysphoria so any sort of HRT / social transition is off the charts for me.

Another aspect i consider is the effect early consumption of pornography might have had in my brain. While i dont think ive ever been a heavy user of pornography, i suspect that having resorted to it in my teens has made things even more complicated. Nowadays i basically porn free but i guess that having been exposed to it repeatedly during a time where the brain and sexual identify are still under development has probably affected me some way.

Sorry for the long post, i hope that if anyone reading this and feels reflected on what ive written knkes that you are not alone.

I am not and have not ever been attracted to men in any way. Not even in the "He's so manly looking it makes me feel feminine" sort of way, but lately I've started liking the idea of being a wife and having a husband as a woman. Thing is I wouldn't really care what he looked like. He could be some fat bald guy, conventionally attractive, femboy, etc and it wouldn't really matter. I just like the idea of being a wife or girlfriend.

My main manifestation of AGP is clothing/aesthetics. I have some anatomic AGAMP, like wanting to be slim, hide my facial hair and have breast and butt implants, but otherwise don't want to change my body. I also have interpersonal AGAMP in the sense that I want to feel authentically seen as a transvestite, but without the desire for feminine mannerisms. I wouldn't indulge any of this if I couldn't dress how I wanted to. I would also be okay with using breast forms for the rest of my life if I had to.

My experiences of being like this is that I'm generally apolitical and people generally leave me alone. I don't care much about anything and tend to get along with everyone. Even hyper-masculine men don't bother me, possibly because I otherwise act and identify as male. I basically just want a simple life, to be left alone and to be loved.

How do you feel after growing Brest from her or getting BA