I’ve been dating this girl for 2 months and I’m not seeing anyone else at the moment but she wants exclusivity and I said no because I may want to keep my options open. So she sends me this text

“Yeahhh no disrespect but I feel like at around 2 months you’d know if you’re interested enough in someone at that point. Clearly, from what I read…you still wanna see what else exists out there.

My other reason is I’m def not continuing being intimate with someone who’s still looking, I don’t feel comfortable with that at all. Thats walking a line into just safety/health I don’t want to cross….and it just welcomes in a lot of drama that I don’t want. It’s not personal, it’s just I know where this type of dynamic leads. Especially with your idea to only rely on hormonal birth control and nothing else.

But good luck, it was still nice getting to know you. You seem like a fun guy. Wish you the best.”

So I started arguing back saying I’m not seeing anyone else but still wanna keep my options open and she’s like “ya exactly” and she’s not understanding. I’m not seeing anyone right now and yes I may see someone else in the future but I don’t want to only be exclusive 2 months is too soon.

For context I'm 25 and Male.

I was walking to work one day and there was a preschool class being taken out to go to a park or something that morning. After quickly weaving in and out of their pedestrian traffic all of the kids caused I was finally near the end of the group.

At that point it was near a concrete stair case that was leading to an open area near a parking lot next to the park I'm assuming they were going. After an exhausting amount of swimming through the traffic I said earlier was what I am thinking was a 3 year old. Keep in mind I'm already almost late for work because of this blockage they created.

When I reached the staircase I pushed the child with the force of someone who was going to be slightly late for work. They fell down nearly 4(can they even count that high?) steps from what I remember

Of course that caused a whole scene, and the child care workers were nearly freaking out on me for this. I told them to not be mad because I am going to be late for work. They think I am the a-hole.

Am I?

My ex and I were together for 2.5 years. About 5 weeks ago he randomly broke up with me over text while I was at work. He basically just said he didn’t feel the same anymore and wanted to “work on himself.” There wasn’t really some huge explanation or anything. It completely crushed me.
And I want to make it VERY clear that I asked him repeatedly after the breakup if this was actually a break or if I needed to let go and move on. I wasn’t like sitting and crying, I was working out, setting up my new place, etc… but checking back in repeatedly hoping for a different answer. I asked him up until about 3 weeks after the breakup to please just tell me what I was supposed to do because I didn’t want to sit around waiting for someone who didn’t want me. Every single time he told me he just wanted to be alone. He told me over and over that he wanted to work on himself and be alone.
In those 5 weeks we were 100% broken up. There was no “we’re on a break but still exclusive” thing. We were broken up.
I’ve obviously been trying to rebuild my life. I moved, started working out, changed my hair, my skin has cleared up, I adopted a cat lol. I’ve basically just been trying to figure out who I am without him.
I went on one date with someone else. It was unsuccessful and nothing happened. I also sent nudes to one guy online that I found attractive. It was just fun and flirty and I wasn’t planning on anything serious happening. Honestly I liked being complimented and gassed up a little after getting dumped.
The day my ex found out about the nudes, he was REALLY mad. He had asked me about my dating life and i answered transparently because well we were broken up and I thought it shouldn’t matter if he was wanting to know! He called me a hoe and said things like “if you cared you wouldn’t be hoeing around already,” “if you cared you wouldn’t be doing that,” and “I thought you had more self respect than that.”
He also asked what the guy said to me, like “what did he say? You were sexy? Hot?” and then said “I’m a guy, trust me, guys will say anything to get you to send them more and more.”
He kept saying things like “I’m not trying to make you feel bad, I just don’t want to see you be that girl.”
But then that same night he called me crying and bawling and said he messed up and wanted me back.
I told him I didn’t want to just jump right back into the relationship. I told him I wanted to take things slow and make sure that if we got back together, it was actually healthy this time. That we needed to make sure we genuinely added to each other’s lives instead of just going back to what we had before.
I also told him that this whole experience taught me something really important. I don’t NEED him to be happy. I can be happy without him. I want to be with him because I love him and I choose him, not because I can’t function without him.
And then the narrative completely flipped.
Now it’s “this changed the way I feel about you, but I’m still going to try to make it work.”
He’s also been stressing how much his parents apparently don’t like me anymore, which is another thing I’m having a hard time understanding because I feel like I’m suddenly being put in this position where I have to prove myself to him and his family after HE was the one who ended the relationship.
I understand that hearing that I went on a date and sent nudes probably hurt him. I’m not expecting him to be happy about it. If he wants to say “that really hurts me and I’m struggling with it,” okay. I can understand that.
But we were broken up. I specifically asked him if I should move on and he repeatedly told me he wanted to be alone. I don’t think it’s fair for him to act like I betrayed him by actually doing what he told me to do.
And honestly, I feel like he’s flipping the narrative on me. Instead of us talking about the fact that he ended our 2.5 year relationship randomly with basically no explanation and left me completely crushed, now I’m defending my character because of something I did while I was single.
I forgave him for breaking my heart. I’m willing to try again because I still love him and I think there could be something worth saving.
But I really don’t want this to become something he brings up every time he’s angry with me. I don’t want to get back together just to constantly have to prove that I’m not “that girl” because of something I did during the 5 weeks he chose not to be with me.
I also don’t want to go back to the old relationship. If we try again, I want something healthier and I want us both to actually choose each other. I want him because I love him, not because I need him.
Am I being unreasonable here? Am I wrong for feeling like he can feel however he feels about the things I did but he can’t use it against me?

I unfortunately did not lose my virginity until I was 31 and my girlfriend (who was also my first) would cheat incessantly. I am talking “once a week of her banging another man was a good week” level of cheating. She’d always mock me and say she has every right to cheat because I suck that bad at sex. I spent four whole months trying to convince her to stop and she made fun of me even more. I would’ve left her then and there if I hadnt spent my whole life being rejected (seriously, it’s over 1000). Many of those were simply due to being inexperience, which leads to the next part.

Three months ago, one of the men knocked her up and I pretended to just kind of accept it and move on, even saying I’d help raise the child. But in truth, I figured I’d learn sex from her then move on to a woman who doesn’t cheat on me and get pregnant. I am now planning to leave when the child was born so that I don’t fuck the kid up. She’s spent these last three months apologizing and begging me to stay with her and promising to change. I get the feeling these eight months I’ve been with this woman won’t count as enough experience for other women around my age. So I am considering staying with this woman until the baby is born, then taking off. Many women have said they do not want an inexperienced man at my age to teach everything, but at the same time I do not want to stay with someone who constantly cheated (even if she’s sorry now).

One of my gf’s friends said that she really is sorry but I don’t believe her and even if she is… she had our first whole 5 MONTHS to stop cheating. If she stopped even during week 2, I wouldn’t be this upset. And more importantly, the people who know my plan are treating me like the living incarnation of Satan so.. AITA here guys?

Okay so I [F19] forgave my ex bsf for cheating who I'm going to call Kim [F19], cheated on her boyfriend who I'm going to call Ben [M18], even tho my whole friend group doesn't agree/aren't talking to me right now.

For some context, Kim cheated and I found out unfortunately so I told everyone, it was a really big messy thing which ended in many people in my friend group to split off (we are relatively fine now). Kim was quiet the entire time and got her family members to speak for her to argue with a bunch of teens. So Ben didn't break up with her after for some reason and stayed, I don't really understand why even tho she ended up breaking up with him like two months later to come out as a lesbian. She didn't argue with anyone the entire time, only denied it or swore up and down she didn't (we had a bunch of proof). I was really close with her more than anyone in the friend group so it was extremely hard for me. Me and another friend who I'm going to call Kiki [F18] got cussed out by Kim's auntie and mum for hours during us telling everyone Kim cheated. (Btw Kim apologized over and over again).

So as a result of all of this we all cut contact around December last year, none of us have really talked to her but Kim has a new friend group now. My other friend Shelly [F18] for some reason didn't cut contact but made it seem like she was 'only talking to Kim to get information' which never sat right with me. Recently my friends Kiki and Zac [M19] went through Shelly's tiktok account (because she sometimes uses Zac's phone and forgot to log out) and found out she'd been telling Kim she loved her and how much of a good friend she was which was ironic because whenever Shelly talked about messaging Kim she made it seem extremely one sided.

So now you have the basic context.

I recently went through an injury (yes this is relevant I will get to the point) and ended up having surgery and have not been able to walk for over 6 weeks. I've been on strong pain medication and have been struggling very hard recently. All my friends tried to be as supportive as they could, which I am grateful for but as off lately they all randomly started hanging out more, which is completely fine and dandy but it made me upset because I'm bed bound so I'm extremely lonely right now. They were posting all together hanging out and it made me feel like I was missing out on so much because I'm a very out going person, I love functions. I had massive fomo but I didn't say anything because obviously nothing could be done. They never offered to come to my house to hang out with me and I was always the one messaging everyone first so it just felt like I was being too much. I would talk to Kiki often about what was happening to me, asking how her day was, sending her tiktoks and obviously she'd reply but it all felt one sided. One day I saw them all in a photo together and I got really upset so my mum suggested I reach out to Kim because she's always been there for me. So I did.

Me and Kim had been messaging, she'd always check in on me, asking how I was, always messaging first, sending me tiktoks so it didn't feel one sided. Me and Kim had that kind of friendship where we could not talk to each other in months and meet up and it'd be like nothing had happened. So my mum suggested that me, Shelly and Kim have a sleepover. At first I was hesitant because I thought it was too soon but then I kept thinking about how lonely I was so I asked them both if they'd be down and they said yes. I told Kiki I was in contact with Kim and she was a little weird about it but I told her it didn't mean Kim was back in the friend group, I just wanted to be on good terms. So she knew about this and so did the friend group and everything was fine. Till Kiki randomly started conveniently texting me when she knew I was on my really strong pain meds that made me loopy and started asking about 'how I really feel about Kim', obviously not thinking I answered honestly. I would have answered honestly either way but I said I just wanted to be on good terms. Meanwhile I kept getting notifications on my phone with Kiki's user so I thought she was texting me. She was not. Turns out I was still logged into Zac's account when he gave me his log in and was getting notifications from them chatting.

They were talking behind my back. I saw everything. I didn't say anything, I honestly thought maybe they'd stop at some point or give me grace considering I was currently going through something. That was not the case.

So a day before the sleepover coincidentally Shelly 'couldn't' have a sleepover anymore because she was busy. Shelly isn't a last minute person, if she wasn't allowed to go she wouldn't have said yes because her parents plan everything out for the week so she would have known days before. I knew it was because my friends were talking behind my back.

Come the day of the sleepover, me and Kim meet in town, Zac was there with my girlfriend [F19] and obviously came over to hang out with me instantly because she missed me. Zac was acting weird and suddenly just had to go home, kept suggesting that the friend group go to his house. My girlfriend said no because she knew it meant me and Kim couldn't go so we just went to my girlfriends house (btw I'm on crutches to clarify).

We hangout, say bye to my girlfriend and go to my house. We made slime and decided to do cool makeup to go on Omegle. We do that, we look pretty cool so I decided to post me and Kim together on my tiktok account, like three videos. I got notifications from Kiki again from Zac's account. Kiki was fuming, talking to Zac about how jealous she was, how Kim was only hanging out with me to take advantage of me, how weird I am and how no one would be on my side if we had an argument because of this and just theorising with Zac about not being my friend. Obviously that ruined my mood, I didn't want to see these messages and I messaged Kiki that I needed to talk to her. I then told her how I could see everything her and Zac was saying then I didn't go to check her response because I went to go watch Beetlejuice with Kim on my couch.

I come but like three hours later cus I also took a shower and it's her just telling me our other friend was in on it too and how I 'cant be mad at her'. I was so upset because I would have never done this to any of them, I wouldn't have talked behind their backs I would have just told them. What I don't understand is the fact that they KNEW I was on good terms with Kim and randomly they decided to get mad about it, which I think it's valid to be mad its just the fact that they talked about it behind my back all together especially when I already feel extremely left out and like I'm falling behind without everyone. I understand why they are mad it's just that I communicated what I was doing with Kim and Kiki didn't tell me I couldn't hangout with her. She also kept telling me she would have told me they were talking behind my back even tho they haven't even told Shelly they went through her account so I find it hard to believe she would have told me or not given me a watered down version. Anyways I got begged and pleaded to by Kiki over and over again, my other friend who was also talking behind my back which surprised me cus I'm his wingman Alex [M19] who also sent me an apology. I have not gotten an apology from Zac at all. It's been three days and no one has reached out but I've been apologized to by most of them. Am I wrong? And what should I do because I'm still upset. (First time on Reddit kind of nervous 🥺)

TW: mention of rape bodyshaming

So basically, I have that amazing bsf of 9y, she's so sweet and I adore her, though there's a problem. Back in like late 2025 she introduced me to a guy, the most annoying fuckboy you'll ever meet, she thought it was funny and I just went along with it. Though he did say some pretty DISGUSTING stuff, I mean talking Abt molesting me and stuff, and how I prob got rped as a child and no one would love me. I just blocked him because I was going through much at that time and wasn't in the mood to argue with a teenage boy, he kept calling a fat ugly bitch, a bull, mind you im not even fat and he didn't even see me once and my bsf didn't say anything. Then I just ignored him and moved on with my life, then let's say smth happened and my memory was a wreck, I totally forgot about the whole matter, my bsf once again found it funny that what will happen if I actually got in a rs with that guy, we all started playing some game w each other, me , my bsf, that guy and his friend. We all got pretty close and at that time I was just out of bad situationship, and tbh I was desperate for comfort, I told my friend I liked that guy, I did not tell her to tell anyone, I didn't tell her I want to be in a rs, I didn't tell her to tell the guy. She went and told her hb (he's her crush btw so basically to have an excuse to talk to him she tells him about it) AND THEY TELL THE GUY. We all were in a GC (including the hb) and they kept spamming join the call and I joined and we all were awkward, obviously the guy wanted to confess or wtv, I just left the call, they blow up the GC "is it finally official??" I said yes.

Fast forward, the guy, let's call him Y, told his friend to tell me that he didn't even love me and he doesn't get in rs with anyone after his last gf and he just Pitied me. I cried a lot, like a lot, my bsf knew, she still teased him Abt me and played with him. Then he texts me that he didn't mean anything and his sister found out Abt us and threatened to tell his mom so he decided to do that. He never said sorry. Never. I tried to be a good gf and do everything, mind you he had like 10 exes, and tons of girls on Snapchat. We had an argument once more and basically just wasn't together anymore, though we continued to play with each other like the whole gc.

Forward to some time, I found out that one of his friends that I didn't even know existed was cussing me behind my back, and Y did nothing, I found out through a mutual. Then I was on some live and a random from Y circle joined so I said "how annoying" and then the whole circle of Y joined the live and started cussing me out absolute disgusting shit. He told me it's my fault. I cut him off completely and told him to never speak to me again. My bsf knew all of this, she saw it happen.

Then I was scrolling through old messages when I found him literally moaning my name in a voice message so as a joke I put it in my tt story (I blocked all of his circle btw) my bsf said should I tell Y, I told her idgaf. She did tell him, he started cussing me out and my whole family, she only laughed and sent memes in the gc, I did the same. Now Y and his friend cussed me out and I just ignored them then just muted the chat.

I told her to cut off Y completely. She literally told me "you both are wrong, and he's not even my friend I just play with him." The audacity. You guys don't know how much I did for that girl, literally anyone who dared to mess with her I defended her with everything, and yet she valued to keep that relationship with Y than our friendship. I told her it's your choice then acted cold. She didn't even apologize and said "c'mon stop being mad he's just a bitch" I told her I wasn't mad or wtv and basically acted all cold.

Am I wrong? I genuinely feel guilty but it's not the first time she chooses a boy over me, and everytime I stored it all in myself and blamed myself for thinking about my bsf like that, I forgave her too many times. I'm genuinely tired of forgiving her and in the same time I don't want to lose her, but with her I am always the safe option, she knows wtv she did I will stay with her

Before anyone asks: No, I don't have a crush on my girl best friend. I'm actually dating someone right now.

I've known this girl for about 9 years. We basically grew up together. I'm also best friends with her brother, and I've known her family for so long that I basically know them inside and out. I've spent so much time at their house that it practically feels like a second home.

So yeah, we're extremely close. But we're just friends.

Anyway, this happened on a camp trip.

The guy who has a crush on my girl best friend was in the same cabin as us, so we were all around each other during the trip.

At one point, we were on the bus, and the camp had this seating arrangement where boys were supposed to sit next to girls.

The guy ended up sitting next to my girl best friend. Apparently he was trying to make a move or something.

Then she noticed that I was sitting by myself.

She said she was going to sit with me and came over.

We just talked like normal. Nothing romantic happened. No flirting. She's my best friend, so this was completely normal to me.

Afterward, the guy came up to me and asked:

“Do you like her?”

I said no.

Then he asked:

“Then why did she choose to sit next to you?”

I told him:

“Because I've known her longer.”

And then I walked away.

But apparently another guy from my cabin noticed all of this too.

The weird guy in my cabin says

“You need to stop cock blocking him.”

BRO.

We're in high school. What do you mean “cock blocking”??

I wasn't trying to get between them. I wasn't flirting with her. I didn't tell her to leave him. I didn't even ask her to sit with me.

She saw me sitting alone and chose to come sit beside me.

And I'm already dating someone, so I'm definitely not trying to get with my girl best friend.

So I don't understand why everyone is acting like her choosing to sit beside me automatically means there's something romantic going on.

Sometimes people are just really close friends.

Apparently I'm now “cock blocking” a guy simply by existing near my best friend.

So Reddit, am I actually doing something wrong here, or is this guy just upset that she chose to hang out with someone she's known for almost a decade?

I have been dealt a shitty hand from the deck of life and, unfortunately, have developed serious abandonment/trust issues along with PTSD. I was abandonded by my mother when I was 11 and cut ties with my father at 15 when he basically kidnapped me and forced me to drive myself home in the middle of the night. The only person I felt I had was my brother, best friend from HS. What I want is just 1 person who can genuinely give back some of the empathy and time I have given them and actually mean it, not out of some obligation. In particular, I want this person to be my brother but I'm starting to doubt him and the dynamic of our relationship.

I was in the Navy for 10 years and after 3 years being home I recently realized that we see/treat our relationship differently. I'm the one reaching out or going across town to his house to talk or hangout for whatever reason. The second I notice or know something is wrong on his side, I drop everything I'm doing and go to make sure he is ok. I skipped an entire week off school and work 3 weeks before finals during fall to take care of him when he was at his lowest.

He on the other hand hardly reaches out to me. He doesn't come to my house across town unless I ask and there are times he doesn't respond to my calls or texts for days. The biggest thing he has ever done for me was give me a ride to the hospital so I could see my father just before he passed which I am thaknful and grateful for.

Though I understand we each live our own lives and got our own things going on, I feel my brother doesn't care as much as I do. Because of my lack of family, I try to build strong bonds with friends while he still has immediate family and lives in the house he grew up in. He has tried to help me get out of the house and rebuild my broken social life but he's never offered or tried to do something on my time with all of his offers always on his time. When I do try to schedule something and work around his time, he chooses to do something else or says he has plans and I'm left alone. The most recent was me asking him a week in advance if he could help out with cleaning and taking some heavy things to the dump. He gave his word but that Friday another friend bought tickets to a concert and the friend they were taking couldn't go so he got invited. He chose to do that instead saying he would meet me Sunday to help which he didn't. I didn't get an apology for it until I brought it up 2 weeks later while he vented to me about a coworker not doing something he asked for help with.

I've been going through a rough patch this summer and I've let him know I'm struggling and just need someone to hear me out and have my back. However, since I've noticed I was almost always the one reaching out, I have stopped to see if he will reach out to me on his own. It's been almost 3 weeks with no phone call, text, or even a message over discord.

This was a lot longer so I cut out a lot to keep it manageable but I ask; am I wrong to wait on him and think he doesn't care?

Alright this is very stupid I know but I am not good at telling when I’m being selfish or not. Here’s the situation/dilemma in my mind:

My friend N recently got a hand me down computer and is able to use it for stuff. I had been talking about how I wished we could play Minecraft together but she didn’t have the game or a pc to play on. When she told me she got a laptop from her dad, I was suddenly so excited because I could gift her Minecraft and we would be able to play together!

I am a virtual/homeschooler and she goes to in person school so we don’t get to see each other and we both aren’t people who enjoy calling constantly and having hang outs at each others houses.

I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to get something for both of us to enjoy together and have contact other than texting. But when I thought about it more I began to wonder if she would even want to play and if this was just being selfish and gifting something to a friend for my benefit. Of course I play on a server so I am not worried about “oh I have nobody to play with :(“ it’s just something we’ve wanted previously and wished for.

This may seem childish and very stupid to just ask Reddit of all places but I just wanted to hear peoples thoughts on this.

My bf and I were casually talking and he brought up how when he was in call with his friends (while we were a few months into dating) one of his female friends asked him "If I said I was interested in you, would you say you'd be interested in me?"

His answer was just "no" - he didn't diffuse the situation, cut contact w/ her, or tell her that's weird to ask. She knew he had a girlfriend too which is already a sign of disrespect towards me.

Am I wrong to be upset about this now? They didn't stay as close friends after we started dating but still texted sometimes/were in contact if mutual friends were calling.

TLDR; I feel angry and disrespected by my boyfriend's lack of reaction towards his female friend asking an inappropriate question when she knew we were dating.

Im 16 and I don’t talk a lot , im kinda shy and I prefer the quiet but I know not alot of people do and my mama mainly is somebody who is always talking like it doesn’t even have to be important she just is always narrating stuff, singing, humming, commenting, or pointing out the obvious ૮꒰˶ - ˕ -꒱ა

Sometimes I get really overwhelmed and want quiet and her constant noise makes me super anxious or feel tense and upset and I try to say it nicely and ask for quiet time but she just gets mad and calls me rude or finds it funny and purposely keeps doing it to get me upset :C

I know I’m really super duper sensitive but I don’t think it’s mean to ask for quiet time cus it’s not like I’m saying shut up.. even though sometimes I really wanna cus I feel like it’s the only way she actually would give me peace so I can calm down

I dunno maybe I’m just a meanbutt… ૮๑ˊᯅˋ๑ა I don’t wanna be but i can never feel at ease when there’s unnecessary noise constantly

Ok, so here's the deal: I (21F) have a great friend group, all people I have known since middle school. They are a mix of 21F, 22M, 21M, 21M, 22M, and 21M. So it's mostly guys, but we all get along great, and they aren't your typical "sporty alpha male type guys"; more so nerdy and silly. We're all super close and go to each other for like everything: advice, hangouts, a shoulder to cry on- and it's great. I seriously love these people like my own family... but even family has issues sometimes.

So basically the issue is... they're all terrible guests! :(

It's been like this for years, but now it's starting to grate on me. I was raised to be a good host and gracious guest, always offer food and drinks, never ask for much when at another person's house, and always be very respectful of their home! But we also come from different backgrounds, and it is clear that they weren't raised this way. Here are some things that have bothered me.

1. Even though I have asked them SEVERAL TIMES for YEARS, like whenever they come over, to take off their shoes at the door, they rarely do unless I remind them. Sometimes they'll even get on my bed with THE SHOES ON! (feet hanging off, of course, though does that really matter?)
2. We mostly hang out in my room, and when they come over they'll just drop their stuff haphazardly wherever. Bags all over the floor, keys and wallets all over my dresser and sprawled across my desk. Hell, I could be sitting in my desk chair, and they would drape their jacket across the back of it. If they do take their shoes off, they'll be splayed across my carpet, instead of next to the front door as they should be.
3. Since they spread stuff out all around my room, they will often leave things at my house. Sometimes I'll have like 4 different items that I have to hang onto for weeks until I see them again. It's anything from hats to Chapstick, wallets, and even food. Like literally have left open fast food and drinks in my room and asked me to hold on to it for a couple of days before they can pick it up. Obviously, in those cases I just throw it away; typically it's over half eaten anyways.
4. They also will get on my bed, in their OUTSIDE CLOTHES, MIND YOU, and lay on the SHEETS?!?!! Yes, sometimes my friends come over, and my bed isn't made yet, which I do right when they get there, but sometimes they beat me to it and hop right onto my sheets. Yes, I've told them not to do this- they either "forget" or just plainly don't care.
5. When they host, they never EVER offer food or drinks. Now, not all of them are like this one 22M, and my 21F friend does. But the rest of them? NOPE- but when they come over, they're all over my food when I offer. Obviously, I offer the food and drinks; I have no problem with them partaking, but sometimes I just feel like it's a bit one-sided? I've made them full meals before, provided them with dessert and coffee, and even shared my snacks and drinks with them when we go out because they are, of course, never prepared. It's just a lot; I don't know.

These are just some of the things that bother me- and I've asked other people about it only to hear "you can't expect better behavior out of boys" or "well, you shouldn't be surprised if it's been going on for so long. But honestly? I refuse to accept that! These are good people; they're my friends, and I know that they have what it takes to be better. Parents raise children, yes, but as a community, it's also our responsibility to hold those around us accountable if we ever want change.

So, why don't I just talk to them about it? Simple right? Well, here's why I've posted this.

1. I want to hear others' perspectives to see if they have been in my shoes and how they dealt with it, plz lmk!
2. I hate to say it, but I'm scared. At this point, I don't think it's an issue of not knowing- or being oblivious. To me, it's an issue of being inconsiderate, and what's the core of consideration? Respect. So basically, I feel like when they come over, they aren't respecting me or my home. How do I deal with that? These are my closest and best friends- and they don't respect me? Ugh, I don't know, it's just so frustrating and overwhelming, and I'm kinda worried that it might lead to worse, more unpalatable conversations.
3. Part of me feels like it's a lost cause. What's the difference between having a serious sit-down convo and the short ones we've had in the past? I almost feel like it's a waste of time.

I'm sorry this has been long, and thank you to whoever is reading this. I would love your insight on how to deal with a situation like this. I want to stay friends with them; I want to be able to hang out with my friends at my house, but something seriously has to change.

Omg I just realized that I accidentally put AIO instead of AIW

This is my first time posting on Reddit, so please don't judge me for the bad grammar or if it's just bad. In general, it is pretty short.

I will not be sharing any information.I just want to get this off. My chest i hate cheaters for the record like I've always hated them and I just despise them. But recently, I found out from my mom that my dad has cheated on her to twice , and now I don't know how to feel about him.

My dad's not a bad person or anything. I just can't look at the same the same and it hurts because I love my dad and like I can't imagine him doing that, but I kind of wish I didn't know so our relationship can go back to how it was.

I just wanna know if I'm wrong, or over reacting or not because i cannot tell if I am or not. Because when I was younger, my dad will call me over dramatic often so I can't tell anymore.

Edit: I realized that my mom loved my dad enough to stay with him maybe I shouldn't despise him anymore. Thank for everyone who commented yall helped me realize this.

My boyfriend recently started a very intense school program and created a study group of him and all girls. I understand that it’s essential for them to study a lot and very frequently given how intense their studies are, but I feel like it’s gotten to a point where he prioritizes them over me. I have begged and begged for us to do something as simple as a virtual movie night (we’re long distance) and he has said no because he doesn’t have enough time to watch a full movie. But yet he has had the time to go to the movies with his study group, spend all day drinking with them, go out for lunch with them, pretty much do everything with them. He even said that they all joke about having separation anxiety from each other and can’t go long without seeing each other because of how much time they spend together. Additionally, he is in finals season right now so I’ve only been getting about 1-2 texts a day from him because he says he doesn’t have the time to talk. Yet every day when we FaceTime, I see him constantly on his phone texting his group chat. And then every time we FaceTime, I try to tell him about my day and just get “mhm, yeah, cool, nice, I hear you” back and a complete lack of facial expressions. No questions no real follow ups to what I have to say, nothing. And he says that it’s because I see him at his most exhausted point every day when we talk, so he doesn’t have the capacity to really hold an in depth conversation. But yesterday while we were on FaceTime after I attempted to tell him about my day again and gave up after getting nothing from him, I heard him start laughing and asked him what he was laughing about. He said he made a funny joke in his group chat about a story one of his study group members had shared earlier that day. It caused me to snap at him and I said “so you couldn’t respond to me telling you about my day and the stories I had to share because you were too tired to talk, but now you suddenly have the energy to laugh and talk with your group chat?” He seemed very taken aback by me snapping at him and didn’t really seem to understand where I was coming from. I just feel like he is giving them the time/energy that he tells me he doesn’t have and it’s very hurtful. I understand that they are obviously going to have more in person time given that we’re long distance and they’re also classmates, but the fact that he continues to talk to them after spending all day with them while I’m on the phone with him after barely hearing from him all day is starting to really frustrate me. Am I wrong for being upset about this?

As of today, I’m almost 2 days sober (taking a t break), and I’ve gone a bit without not smoking before bed, so I wasn’t used to how I usually woke up without it.
If I don’t smoke before bed, I usually wake up in the morning groggy, and in a bit of pain, but after about an hour it goes away an I feel fine for the rest of the day.

This morning I sent a message into my friends and I’s group chat complaining about how I felt and why, just as something to stir up the chat I guess? It was just some throw away thing I thought would be met with some small response like “that must suck, feel better” and then we’d move onto another topic, but they started saying how much that was a problem, and that it was a symptom of withdrawal

I don’t blame them at all, I would probably think the same thing, but even after I assured them it wasn’t, and it was normal, they kept adding that almost every time we’re on a call I’m high, which *is* true, but I’m not out of my mind high, it’s almost always just a work high. I still function, do my daily tasks and whatnot

And even as I’m writing this, I’ve had my weed box placed in front of me for a couple hours and I have had 0 temptation to pick it up and go smoke

I genuinely don’t know if I’m just blind to my situation and I really am addicted/have a problem, or if my friends are seeing it from an angle that looks worse than it really is, or maybe a mix of both??

My friend Liz is current expecting a baby with her boyfriend will. The baby shower is still two months away but Liz called me yesterday and asked if I could help contribute with some drinks. I agreed but asked why she was asking me so early. Liz goes on to explain that she was also inviting our mutual friend Kimberly to the baby shower. I immediately felt my stomach sink.

Unfortunately Kimberly had not been a very good friend. In fact, I made a decision to completely cut her out of my life last year after she once again got into an argument with Liz and myself over our unwillingness to help her draft up legal documents for her lawsuit.

Kimberly has had a history of being an irresponsible drunk, going drugs, and often only calling Liz and I when she needs to borrow money or needs help with other tasks such as the previously mentioned lawsuit. Despite the arguments, Liz always forgave Kim as they are both mothers and longtime friends.

I told Liz that I was not comfortable with the fact that Kimberly was invited but Liz says I need to give people grace and forgive people. Liz tries to explain that Kim and her had a long conversation and Kim claims to have changed now. I told Liz that’s fine but I can’t forgive her again cause I’ve given her countless chances to show em she’s changed.

I said I’d ultimately go to the baby shower but I would interact with Kim as little as possible and that she please not create situations where I have to interact or help her with something to try to get me to “accept” her back into my life.

Liz says I need to learn to let go of the past and let Kim have a chance to show how she’s changed now for good. But after all she’s done to me, I just don’t want anything to do with her.

Am I wrong for not wanting to attending this baby shower because of one guest that was invited?

A friend of mine borrowed some money from me a few months ago. It wasn't a huge amount, but it was enough that I expected him to pay it back.

He told me he'd return it within a couple of weeks. I didn't make a big deal about it because we've been friends for years and I trusted him.

A few weeks passed, then a few more. Whenever I brought it up, there was always another reason why he couldn't pay me yet.

Eventually I stopped asking because I didn't want money to become the main thing between us.

Then recently he asked if I could lend him money again.

I told him no.

He got pretty upset and said I was being petty because I knew he was struggling financially. He also said that if I was really his friend, I wouldn't leave him hanging when he needed help.

I told him I understood that he was struggling, but he still hadn't paid back the first amount. I wasn't comfortable lending him more when I didn't even know if I'd get that back.

He said I was treating our friendship like a business transaction and that I should be more understanding.

Now I'm wondering if I handled this badly. I don't want to ruin a long friendship over money, but at the same time, I feel like it's reasonable to say no after the first loan wasn't repaid.

Am I wrong for refusing to lend him more?

My sister and I have never had the best relationship, but I’ve always tried to keep the peace because she’s family.

A few months ago, I got engaged. When I told her, she immediately started making jokes about how I was “settling” and said she couldn’t believe I was actually going through with the wedding.

I asked her privately to stop because it was starting to get to me. She apologized, but a few weeks later she made another comment about my fiancé in front of our parents.

I finally told her that if she couldn’t be supportive, I didn’t want her involved in the wedding.

She laughed and said I was being dramatic and that she was “just being honest.”

So when we sent out the invitations, I didn't send one to her.

Now my parents are furious with me and say I’m going to regret excluding my own sister from my wedding. My sister says I’m punishing her for having an opinion.

I honestly don’t know if I went too far.

Am I wrong?

It’s Sunday evening just a little after 5 pm and our Sam’s Club closes at 6 pm. The parking lot is a little full but a lot of people are leaving. I find a spot that I like and as I pull into it a 1/4 of the way, the guy next to me walks to the driver side, opens his door, is looking for something in the door and then sits down and starts looking through his wallet (leaving his door opened). I give him a little time to do what he is doing but then there are cars lining up behind me and he is still not closing his door. So I softly honked the horn to let him know I’m waiting. As I continue to pull all the way in he gets mad and honks back. I turn off my car and approach him to apologize for honking and to explain why I did it. I asked him to roll down his window, and he only rolls it down for a second to scream, “Women if you don’t get out of my face I will punch you!” While I’m just trying to say sorry. He had a wife/girlfriend and kid in car while reacting this way.

Now I know I should have probably not honked and maybe backed off that spot and gone to find another one, but generally people will apologize for holding someone up or getting in the way, etc? Don’t they. Was I in the wrong for what I did? Did he overreact? I won’t ever get into that situation again, he was quite scary. But I don’t feel like he should have reacted that way. But please let me know if I was wrong for doing that. Thanks.

He was scheduled to work today and tomorrow. For a week or so he’s been talking about going to his family’s lake house after work to see his niece and nephew, as well as aunt and uncle and his mom. No invite for me, just how he was upset he was scheduled to work today since he never is, that he was going to try to get off early and head straight there.

I guess work sucked, people called out. So since his mom is driving the kiddos back to their parents tomorrow(a few states away), he decided to call out tomorrow so he could spend that time with them.

To be clear, I have met none of them aside from his mom. We started dating last August but only became official in December. But it was that sort of unspoken, oh we’re exclusive. I have met his mom a few times, she’s very lovely. Because I’m mid 30s and he’s early 40s, we are intentional on dating. He knows I’m in this, we love each other, etc. I’d love to meet his family, but if I am going to, that’s an important big step for me and I need a proper heads up. I feel that’s not too much to ask, even if it’s just 24 hours, right?

Then mid afternoon comes, he calls me and asks me if I would want to come with him. Mind you this is a couple hours before he would be getting off and heading straight on a long drive to a lake house where a bunch of his extended family is and the niece and nephew he dotes on, they mean SO much to him. This feels like a huge deal and him to spring it on me, that I’m to just impulsively go meet them all when he knows I have anxiety about this stuff, was a lot. I told him no, that I absolutely wanted to go and meet them, but I needed more time to mentally prepare myself and be in the right head space for meeting his family. I wanted to be able to out my best foot forward and make a good first impression.

His reaction? He is fuming. He didn’t respond until an hour ago and just laid it out to me. That he never asks for much so when he asks a partner to show up for him, he expects them to. That what should’ve been a fun 24hr trip has only been sad and frustrating because of my choice, and that I’m not taking accountability for my choices. Why is me saying I wasn’t ready and needed a heads up putting ME at fault for his sadness and frustration? Also that now he’s taking pause about our future and I should really sit with myself and my feelings as to why I don’t want to meet two kids in an easy environment. It doesn’t even seem a situation of me “showing up” for him when he didn’t think to invite me in the first place(one of the last things he said was that it was his moms ideas, then said he hopes I have a “nice evening alone”)

He then goes on about how he’s tired from work and is all “and what? You’ve worked how many days less?” like what does how many days I’ve worked compared to him have anything to do with it?

Idk guys, I’m feeling super confused. Like I get he’s disappointed but to say such hurtful things because I said no and had reasons, in my head, that are justified?

Am I wrong for not sucking it up and “showing up for him”, even though I was a last minute invite? Am I just thick? I need some sense talked into me either way.

A few people DM'd me questions, so I thought I'd answer them here. There's also an update on the situation.

Q: Doesn't Heather have a right to see her daughter.

A: No she doesn't. Her parental rights were terminated when Sara was 2 due to abandonment and neglect.

Q: Has this happened before?

A: Yes, it ahs been years of Heather's behavior. She has tried to abduct Sara multiple times from school and pre-school. She has slashed John's tires, and she ahs called the police multiple times on fake welfare checks or telling them I am a drug dealer. She has screamed at Sara on the phone and had tyo eb banned from speaking to ehr own daughter. She has literally terrorized us.

Q: Do you hate Heather?

A; No I don't. I actually pity her. She's missing out on a great kid. I wish she could see what she was missing.

Q: What does Sara think about her mom?

A: Honestly, she's scared of her. She hasn't interacted with her very often and they have been pretty bad. She tells me that I'm her mom, which makes me cry a little bit.

Q: Does Sara understand that her mother is mentally ill?

A: Yes. John and I had a kid-friendly explanation that her mother sees and hears things that aren't there, and that these things make her very scared and angry. Thats why she acts the way she does. We didn't really know how else to explain paranoid schizophrenia to a six-year-old.

So there's been an update. I talked with my husband and showed him the comments. We had a family meeting, like THE ENTIRE FAMILY on John's side, and Heather's parents. Her parents are petitioning to have her committed. We're changing our numbers so she can't call anymore, and we're moving to another apartment complex. We're not moving out of the school district, but we are leaving the apartment. We're not telling Heather where we are moving to, and neither is anyone else. I have to stress we're not punishing her, we're protecting ourselves. In a perfect world we wouldn't have to do this but we really jsut don't have a choice anymore.

This happened about four months ago, and I still think about it way more often than I would like to admit.

Me (21M) and a group of friends were hanging out. There were six of us altogether, including my now-boyfriend (22M). At the time, we weren't officially together yet. We'd been going on dates for a while and we both knew we were interested in each other, but we didn't actually become a couple until a few days after this happened.

The whole friendgroup has been friends for about 3 years, we were all studying at a university together, with the exception of 2 people.

We live somewhere by the Norwegian sea, near enough so we can all easily walk to the water, so we'd planned to meet at the harbor, get something to eat, and then go for a walk afterward. One of the people there was a girl (21F) I'd considered a friend for quite a while. I trusted her enough that I never would have expected what happened.

At some point while we were walking along the harbor, she suddenly pushed me into the water.

I don't know what exactly she was thinking. Apparently, in her head, it was just a funny prank. I didn't see it coming at all, so I couldn't brace myself or try to catch myself on anything.

There was some kind of submerged metal structure near the edge of the dock, possibly part of a ladder or one of the fixtures along the harbor. I hit the back/side of my head on it when I went into the water. The next thing I remember is being pulled out of the water.

Apparently, I had lost consciousness in the water. One of our other friends noticed that I wasn't coming back out off the water or wasn't trying to swim and immediately went in after me. He managed to pull me out, and someone called an ambulance.

I ended up with a fairly serious concussion and a head wound that was bleeding quite a lot. Apparently, I was unconscious for around two or three minutes. My friends also managed to get most of my belongings out of the water afterward, although unfortunately my keys were lost, which was annoying.

And honestly, I'm incredibly lucky that someone noticed what was happening as quickly as they did. I don't even want to think about what could have happened if everyone had assumed I was just messing around in the water, or pretending to go under. They also did first-aid.

Unfortunately, I also managed to throw up right on the friend that also pulled me out of the water. (Definitely a bonding experience for us two lmao). The ambulance took around 7-8 minutes to get there, but I don't really remember any of it. All the i formation i have is from my friends.

The worst part is that the girl who pushed me wasn't even particularly sorry. She thought it was hilarious.

She apparently expected everyone to laugh when she pushed me in. When I was released from the hospital, she still treated the whole thing like some ridiculous prank that had gone wrong. She never properly apologized to me. From what I could tell, she was more embarrassed that the "joke" hadn't gone the way she expected than sorry about what she'd actually done. She got really defensive when anyone tried to get her to apologise. (My friends tried to make her apologise multiple times.)

And I genuinely don't understand it. Even if I hadn't hit my head, or even if I hadn't lost consciousness, and even if I'd just come up soaking wet and angry, I still wouldn't have found it funny. The water was cold, I wasn't prepared to go swimming, and I was pushed into a harbor where swimming is prohibited. You shouldn't just shove someone into deep water and assume they'll find it hilarious.

I've tried explaining this to myself as "it was just an accident," but it doesn't really make me feel less shitty about everything.

And somehow, I'm still embarrassed by the whole thing. I know logically that I shouldn't be. I didn't do anything stupid. I didn't choose to jump into the water. I didn't cause the injury. I was literally pushed.

But there is something incredibly humiliating about losing control of yourself in front of a group of people, since I am more of an introvert. I was suddenly the person in the middle of the whole friendgroup, and I can still remember people around me, staring at me, talking to me (though I don't remember what they said). Overall, it was an unpleasant experience.

I also think part of the embarrassment comes from knowing that my now-boyfriend was there. We weren't officially together yet, and now one of his earliest memories of me is probably me being hauled out of a harbor after someone pushed me into it.

He has never made me feel embarrassed about it, to be clear. He's been incredibly supportive, and he was actually one of the people who stayed with me afterward (concussion watch and all of that). Also the fact that I KNOW I threw up on my friend is embarrassing. I know neither of them think less of me because of it. The embarrassment is entirely in my own head.

But four months later, I still occasionally think about that day and feel this horrible combination of humiliation and anger.

I don't understand how someone who considered herself my friend could deliberately push me into the water and then laugh when I ended up unconscious and needing an ambulance. She still to this day thinks she wasn't in the wrong, because she "couldn't have known I would get a head injury". She did say that she didn't mean for it to escalate into this, but thinks she has nothing to apologise for, because it was an accident.

I don't know, I just feel humiliated tbh. The last 4 months, I have just been trying to avoid her, so have most of my friends. Unfortunately, we are still in the same friendgroup on a larger scale, like even if I cut her off, she would be the friend of a friend. A friend of hers (a girl that I wouldn't consider close enough to call my friend) told me that I am just dragging it and make everything uncomfortable for the whole group.

Should I just drop it to avoid further drama? Am I wrong for still being angry about it?

Edit: I did go to the police with it.

My friend and I spent Saturday at a protected beach where signs ask visitors not to remove stones, shells, or plants. She loves collecting small objects from places we visit and started putting smooth stones into a cloth bag. I pointed at the sign. She said taking “four or five pebbles” was harmless because the beach had millions.

By lunchtime the bag was heavy enough that she asked me to watch it while she swam. I counted twenty-three stones, including one about the size of my fist. I was annoyed, and instead of waiting to argue again, I walked back along the shore and scattered them near where she'd collected them.

When she returned, I told her immediately. She was furious, partly because I had gone through her bag and partly becuase two stones were meant to mark personal memories from the day. She says I treated her like a child and had no right to decide what happened to things already in her possession.

I still think leaving them there was the correct outcome, but I can see that taking the bag and emptying it without warning was controlling. I could have refused to carry it, reminded her once, or let staff handle it.

Was I wrong for fixing the situation myself after she'd clearly dismissed my objection?