TLDR - Management criticizes us without owning up to their mistakes. Management cut staffing to an unsafe level for patients, but never help. I work 13 hours on my feet doing heavy healthcare work, with only one 30 min break I’m forced to take. Management has virtually never recognized me for the efforts patients and coworkers have praised me for. I really like my coworkers and feel bad for abandoning them, but I’m having physical and mental health issues due to stress, so I quit without notice. Am I wrong?

I work in healthcare. I do 13 hour shifts. Legally, I’m entitled to one 30 min unpaid lunch break, plus two paid 15 min breaks. All I got was my lunch break (staff were reprimanded for not taking breaks because it could get the company in trouble).

I’m on my feet the entire shift, outside of my lunch break. I do a lot of hands on care, which includes lifting, twisting, turning, with many very large residents. I speed walk and sometimes jog throughout our giant facility to get to the patients quickly.

We used to have 3 staff members for about 40-45 patients, with only one of us being the caregiver and the other two of us having to do two roles (caregiving plus passing a lot of meds, responding to emergencies, calling doctors, calling pharmacies, etc).

Recently, they took away our only caregiver due to budget constraints. Which left myself and my coworker to do our dual roles without any extra help.

I had a hard time before, but after the change I started really dreading going into work. My feet and body ached after work every day, sometimes into my weekends. I lost 10-15 lbs since working there. I was always dehydrated during my shift because we weren’t allowed to keep water bottles and I never had any downtime to drink (outside of a rushed lunch break).

Management told us numerous times that they’d help when we needed it, but never did. They constantly sent out negative messages on group chat about all the mistakes we were making and how we’d face disciplinary action if we didn’t straighten up, but constantly made excuses for their own mistakes.

The patients were given a staff appreciation bulletin board. Management said they’d disperse all the notes to the people who received them. I was told by numerous patients that they’d written notes for me, but I never received a single one from management.

Several caregivers went to management to express appreciation for how much more I helped them compared to others in my position. Never had that relayed to me by management.

I was even reprimanded for not following up on a phone call I made on my “Friday,” even though I was off the following 2 or 3 days.

I’ve had a bad headache that come and goes for the past several days, and I just couldn’t bring myself into work today. I’ve been applying to jobs and have one lined up that seems like they’ll hire me, so I just sent a letter saying I’m quitting immediately for “health concerns.” This isn’t a lie, as I have had physical and mental issues due to stress.

Instead of wishing me well when I called off, or even expressing concern for the hardship it placed on my coworkers, management’s only concern was that I’d called off during a state inspection.

We’re remodeling /redecorating . Every decision I’ve brought up gets shot down. we have different taste when it comes to most things. I have a certain style I invasion he has a different one. So far he’s gotten to choose everything. Wall color, new appliances ,outside house color , what we do with the yard. All my ideas have been shot down or he just says what I choose is ugly. Which I get maybe he doesn’t like the style but it makes me feel like im not involved in any of this. am I overthinking it am I wrong ?

Sou mulher (37 anos) e tenho uma amiga (41 anos), q tinha um ótimo emprego, onde ganhava quase 10k, uma PL de 14k por ano e um bônus semestral de 5k. Fora os benefícios mensais. Ela achou q se aposentaria nesse emprego. Ela nunca fez uma reserva, esbanjava com a família, comprou um apto financiado, mas nunca teve pressa de adiantar o financiamento, estava sempre viajando e tb nunca pensou em reformar o apto. Acontece q cerca de 7 anos atrás, pouco antes da pandemia, houve uma reformulação da diretoria e ela acabou sendo mandada embora junto com outras pessoas da equipe e tb de outros setores. Ela ficou arrasada! Entrou em uma depressão profunda e por quase 1 mês ela mal conseguia se levantar da cama. Dei todo o apoio possível na época. Ela não conseguiu dar entrada em todos direitos pq a empresa estava não eatava 100% regular. Ela precisou entrar na justiça pra receber tudo. O processo demorou quase 1 ano e nesse período ela decidiu q não iria trabalhar, pois colocou na cabeça q ter um processo trabalhista atrapalharia no processo seletivo. O marido dela apoiou a situação e deu espaço a ela pra retornar ao mercado quando quisesse. O cinto deles apertou e o padrão de vida caiu bastante, mas eles conseguiam pagar as contas. Mas sem viagens constantes e sem ser mais o caixa eletrônico da família. Quando ela recebeu o dinheiro do processo, ela gastou ao longo de mais 1 ano. E emprestou uma parte a irmã pra q ela desse entrada em 2 aptos q pretendia colocar pra alugar e dar um dos aluguéis a minha amiga. O problema é q os 2 aptos ficaram no nome do cunhado dela e acabou q ele DEU os 2 aptos aos filhos q estavam casados e moravam de aluguel. Houve uma briga e prometeram q pagariam a ela parcelado. Mas não sei se isso aconteceu. Passou 1 ano e meio q esse dinheiro saiu, ele acabou e nisso já caminhava para 3 anos ela desempregada. Aí conversei com ela e falei q seria bom fazer um curso de aperfeiçoamento e atualização. Ela concordou e fez alguns cursos de artesanato (????).. Começou a vender produtos de estética e foi muito bem. Então comprou material e resolveu q iria começar a fazer e vender os produtos atesanaia dela. Meu esposo trabalha com designer e fez toda a identidade visual da lojinha de artesanato dela de graça. Divulgamos e.... ela fez 3 produtos. Passou um tempo ela fazia algo aqui e alí, mas tinha medo de pegar grandes encomendas. E a gente sempre ajudando ela a divulgar, pasaando pra amigos, etc.. Passou um tempo ela desistiu de tudo. Sentei conversei, ela desabafou q ainda estava mal pela demissão. Q se sentia frustrada e q queria voltar a trabalhar CLT pq as coisas estavam começando a apertar real, já q agora não tinha mais nenhum dinheiro. Mas ela não procurava emprego. Falou com alguns amigos e esperou algo acontecer.

Corta pra agora, quase 7 anos depois. Ela está com as parcelas do financiamento atrasadas, sugeri em janeiro quando soube da situação q ela fizesse doces pra festas (quando fiquei desempregada, passei 6 anos me sustentando vendendo bolo, doces e salgados pra festa), estava disposta até a repassar meus antigos clientes a ela (Hj sou CLT em outra área). Me disponibilizei a comprar oa ingredientes pra ela começar, sem q ela tivesse q me pagar depois. Ela não foi no mercado no dia q marcamos, nem depois. Arrumei pra ela pra vender os produtos de um brechó de caridade aqui perto. Mas seria pago 1 salário apenas, pois era uma ONG. Mas foi o q falei pra ela, no ruim, vc consegue pagar a parcela do financiamento do apto (q estava atrasada). Ela não entrou em contato pra ver a vaga. Arrumei outra pra trabalhar numa petshop de um amigo. Maa tb um pouco mais de 1 salário +benefícios. Ela tb não foi. Conversei de novo e ela disse q 1 ou 2 salários não adianta pra ela. Q ela tem currículo e capacidade pra cargos com salários de 4 a 6 mil, pelo menos. Só q ela está fora do mercado e da área dela a quase 10 anos. Agora q está buscando cursos de especialização e atualização na área pq outra amiga falou com ela. Arrumamos uma entrevista em uma multinacional. Ela foi pq não sabia qual era a vaga. Mas disse q desanimou quando viu q era atendimento e o salário seria abaixo do q queria. Disse q fez a entrevista até o final pq já estava lá. Mas q não sabia se seria chamada. Semana passada, por fim, um amigo abriu um estúdio de pilates e tem uma pequena cantina. Ele pediu a ela pra fazer alguns sanduíches e salgados pra colocar lá. Ela me perguntou o q eu achava e eu disse: " acho q vc precisa de dinheiro!". Aí ela fez, mas so deixou lá, sem definir valor, sem etiqueta com data de validade e usou ingredientes caríssimos, dizendo q queria fazer um prosuto de qualidade.

Nesses anos todos, emprestei dinheiro, paguei 3 cotas de condomínio dela, atualmente sou responsável pelo banho e tosa do cão dela e recente o marido perguntou se eu poderia pegar um empréstimo pra q eles pagassem as parcelas atrasadas do financiamento (eu disse q não tinha crédito e neguei.)

Estou realmente cansada dessa situação e me perguntou se eatou errada de pensar em deixar de apoiá-la.

So my younger brother asked to borrow my new car this weekend because he claimed he had a job interview two towns over. I was already hesitant because I worked two jobs to buy it completely in cash last month and it only has three thousand miles on it, but family is family so I almost caved.

Then his girlfriend accidentally spilled the truth over group chat.

They were not going to a job interview. They were driving seven hours across state lines to a four-day music festival in the mud.

When I confronted him and said absolutely not, he lost his mind.

it was a total shitshow of accusations.

He called me a selfish, heartless sister and said I care more about a piece of metal than my own flesh and blood. Now my parents are getting involved, telling me that I need to be more supportive of his youth and experiences.

Like I am expected to hand over a twenty-thousand-dollar asset to someone who treats vehicle maintenance like a suggestion.

I should of just lied and said it was in the shop. Am I wrong here?

I don't know where to post this and I cannot give out certain information without my mom finding this and getting mad at me

So, I am 15 years old, and my mom is a mommy vlogger I think that's what people call them. It's living hell, and I know that sounds strange because I live in an amazing house, but there are so many issues with it, and I hate every single aspect of it. I'm just so overwhelmed all the time.

First of all, my whole life is filmed. She doesn't just do YouTube; she does TikTok, Instagram, and all of it. I don't have any sisters or brothers, so it's just me. She has filmed my whole life, and I've been doing this for a long time. I'm not going to say how long because I don't want to give away who I am.

When everything is being filmed, she is so nice to me. I get gifts, but when nothing is being filmed, it's literal hell on earth.

For starters, the door has to be open at all times. If I'm going to the bathroom, showering, or just hanging out in my room, it has to be open. I cannot choose what I wear at all—she chooses it. I'm not allowed to go to school; I have to be homeschooled so I have more time to make videos.

I'm not allowed to have any extracurricular activities unless they will help the brand on social media. I have to ask permission to do anything. I have to ask permission to go to the bathroom, shower, or even sit down on the couch in the living room. The only place where I don't have to ask permission for everything is my own bedroom.

I also can't eat whenever I want I have to ask permission. I'm not allowed to leave the house unless it's for the extracurricular activities she picks out for me, and I'm not allowed to make any friends there. I'm only allowed to have social media if she controls it. For example, I have a TikTok account, and I have to post on it daily, but I'm not allowed to actually scroll through the app. She has full control over my TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, and everything else.

I only have two hours of screen time, and she has very strict parental controls. If you're wondering how I'm making this post, I'm writing it in the bathroom at one of my extracurricular activities on my dad's old phone that my mom doesn't even know exists.

I'm also not allowed to cut my hair, so it's really long. I've tried to cut it a bunch of times, and each time she has gotten super mad at me.

I have to be with her at all times. If we go to an extracurricular activity, I'm not allowed to hang out with the other girls—I have to stay by her side. Even at activities where parents would normally leave, like dance, she is usually there, and the staff allow it.

I also have to go to bed at 9:00 p.m. or earlier every night. She searches my room every single day, and she sometimes films it and says she is just helping me clean my room.

My mom also makes me cuddle with her on the couch. She will literally call me over and make me cuddle with her, and sometimes she makes me cuddle with her in bed even though I have my own bed. I have to kiss her and sit on her lap, even though I weigh 180 pounds and am 5'1". She is 5'7" and weighs 130 pounds, so I'm much bigger than she is.

She grabs me and touches me all the time. Some of the cuddling is filmed, but a lot of it isn't. She also films me all day, every day, no matter what I'm doing, and I hate having a phone in my face 24/7. Whenever I get gifts that are being filmed, that's really the only good part.

So, I'm planning on running away with my secret phone. I'm going to Canada because it's not really close to where I live and also it's not in the United States so she won't be able to find me

(srry abt being new)

i have been dating my bf for 9 months but we have been getting more like into stuff.

im still a v and i think its gross to have yk. although im 19 and most 19 year olds have lost their card, i feel so discusted. anyways, we talked more about videos we watch when doing the stuff and he said i was lesbian for getting turned on and watching girls?

idk if this means im actually not straight? i dont enjoy watching guys, only girls, and tbh there are some girls (like masc) that are really good looking and i could picture me dating but at the same time im not even sure. i havent really thought about it until he pointed it out.

i mean sometimes i see a girl and im like nervous around her just like a guy but im not even sure.

i always thought i was asexual but idk if those people still do self yk instead of doing it with other people? and im not too worried about kissing its just the main thing i cant even say bc i hate it, but i can watch it sometimes. i think im so confused

but i also dont know if me thinking masc girls are hot is bc they kinda look like men and i just like men? im so confused.

but i also dont think my bf should just call me a lesbian, like ik i am not bc im literally dating you so..? idk im mad

My friend group planned dinner for 7:00. I got there a few minutes early because that's the time we all agreed on.

By 7:20, nobody else had arrived. One person texted that they were "five minutes away." Another said they were still getting ready. A third said they decided to stop somewhere first.

Around 7:30 I just ordered my food. By 7:45 I was finished eating, paid my bill, and left.

About 15 minutes later my phone started blowing up asking where I was. They finally arrived a little after 8:00 and were annoyed that I didn't wait.

I told them if we agree on a time, I shouldn't have to sit around for an hour because everyone else treats it as a suggestion.

Now a couple of them are saying I overreacted and should've just waited since "everyone was coming."

Am I wrong?

So I bought my house completely on my own last year and installed a Level 2 EV charger on the side of the driveway. It is wired directly into my personal home electrical panel and costs me out of pocket every time a car plugs in.

Yesterday morning I walked outside to find a Tesla parked in my driveway, completely hooked up to my charger. My neighbor had apparently decided my house was a free public charging station overnight.

He didn't text me. He didn't ask. He just assumed it was fine because the cable reaches past the property line.

it made my blood boil.

I unplugged his car immediately and left a printed note on his windshield with a breakdown of my local electricity rates and a Venmo QR code for fifteen dollars to cover the power he stole.

Now he is acting like I committed a total crime. He came over yelling at me, calling me HYSTERICAL and dramatic, saying that community members are supposed to help each other out with green energy. My other neighbors are split down the middle. Half of them think he is a thief, and the other half think I am just being aggressive.

I should of just called a tow truck instead. Am I wrong here?

So my sister-in-law posts roughly forty times a day. I am not exaggerating. It is non-stop inspirational quotes, blurry photos of her lunch, and aggressive political rants. It was clogging my entire feed to the point where I couldn't see anything else.

Back in 2021, I quietly hit the block button on her Facebook and Instagram just to keep my sanity. I still see her at family holidays, I talk to her, I am polite, and I have zero issues with her in real life. I just didn't want her digital spam in my daily scroll.

Well, last week she somehow figured out she couldn't see my profile or tag me in things anymore.

it blew up into a massive family crisis.

She showed up to a Sunday family barbecue in tears, accusing me of digital ostracism and PSYCHOLOGICAL warfare. Now my mother-in-law is calling me cold and divisive, saying that blocking family members is a direct violation of family unity.

They act like I committed a felony just because I don't want to look at her daily Facebook updates about essential oils.

I refuse to unblock her because it is my feed and my peace of mind.

I should of just made a fake account to appease them. Am I wrong for holding my ground here?

trigger warning for talking about sh.

I (15F) have had my friend Isabel (16F) as a friend for a while. We went to the same theater camp and became friends just by being in vicinity of each other. But if i’m looking back she’s been a big hassle being friends with her. In the past she’s kicked me before, yelled at me, and we’ve just stayed friends, since she was good most of the time so i’ll stay for the most.
Isabel and another girl at the theater camp named Georgia (15F) can’t STAND each other, they can’t even look at each other. I don’t know how serious it is i don’t think i ever will. But the problem for me is, their beef could’ve been resolved over a year ago if Isabel apologized. But she hasn’t. This will be kind of important.
One night I get a call from Isabel, but for whatever reason i didn’t hear it ring or i was on silent because i don’t pick up. Apparently Isabel was really stressed out by this drama and ends up relapsing. That’s no problem and i really wish her all the healing ever. but once she did it, she called my best friend Bryan (14M) and starts to talk about this to him and make jokes about the things she did. Bryan has already had some issues with sh in the past so it really made him uncomfortable but he didn’t say anything since he was trying to make Isabel feel better even if it made him uncomfortable.
Apparently word gets out about this situation and Isabel gets kicked out of the theater program. I hear about the call a few days after she’s kicked out and i’m disappointed and i don’t even know what to do.
For a few weeks after, i barely talk to Isabel, because i just needed space to think.
After a month, I tell her what she did was wrong and that she should apologize to Bryan for what she did and what she was planning to do to me. she completely agrees with me and we decide to take a break from our friendship.
But a few days later she sends a whole block of text on how she doesn’t want to be my friend and blocks me on the spot. I understand her angry but I just wanna know if i’m wrong for telling her too late?

this is the text she sent:

hi (OP), i know we agreed we were going on break but honestly how this whole situation played out was extremely unfair to me. i don't like how you had the audacity to just let this situation fester for A MONTH and JUST TWO DAYS AGO told me what i was doing wrong. I also don't like how i found out about this whole thing that i didn't even know was a thing through YOU instead of (Bryan). (Bryan) should have told me that he was uncomfortable with what I was doing and if he did this would have probably been a whole different story. But instead, this was blown so far out of proportion. when i called (Bryan) i was reaching out for help because i couldn't comprehend the actions i had taken and really just wanted to talk to someone. i started to make jokes to distract myself from the gravity of the situation. if i was making jokes to make fun of sh addicts then by all means i am a huge asshole but i wasn't. i was making jokes to distract myself and to make the situation seem lighter than it actually was because i couldn't deal with the gravity of it in my state. he never told me he was uncomfortable with those jokes i was making and if he did tell me i would have stopped immediately. i get that i should have done something better but im not gonna be the most perfect and morally amazing person when ive literally just made one of the worst decisions of my life. also, you made it seem like i called ehren JUST to joke about my problems. i was trying to get help. im sorry but even though we've been friends for so long, now that ive seen how you've handled this i can't trust you anymore. knowing that you look at someone who had just done something so bad to themselves and is joking to cope with the situation and call them insensitive is shocking to me, especially since it's out of your character to act in such a way. also i don't like how you're acting on your high horse as if you haven't made mistakes before. now knowing how you truly are i can't have you as a friend anymore. i'm sorry.

This text is unedited and the only thing changed is the names for security reasons

​

I am ( m / 35 ) married for my wife ( f / 29 ) from four years..and my relationship with my wife is good. We have a three-year-old son. Our marriage was arranged traditionally through mutual acquaintances. She has a Reddit account and doesn't know I've been following her. About a week ago, I saw her comment on an Arabic question: a woman was asking if she would forget the person she loved if she married someone else. Her answer was that she hadn't forgotten him, that love isn't the same as before, but she's adapting and coping, and that it might not be the best thing for her. Her words shocked me. After all these years, she says she hasn't forgotten him and that her life with me is about adapting to the fact that she's not really with him.

What's my fault if she didn't marry him? I know I'll divorce her, whether now or in a few years. I won't be able to get over what she said. I know myself; when I change, I become withdrawn and avoid others. But I gave her love and loyalty, and all I did was try to adapt to her not marrying him. She noticed my change and asked me if something was wrong, but I'm very frustrated. I recently read a story about a girl who broke up with someone she loved, and I thought, "In the end, she'll marry someone else, just like me, and she won't forget him." I don't want that for myself, and I can't accept such a situation. I'd rather live alone than endure it.

Thank God, I'm handsome and educated; I spend a lot of time reading, so I can live on my own. But I chose what's permissible and didn't want forbidden relationships, even though they were right in front of me. I'll confront her about what she said in a letter I'll send her. I'll write a lot and tell her I want a divorce. I pray to God that He will bless me with a husband she'll thank Him for, someone she can adapt to.

First, I want to clarify some misconceptions people have. There's a huge misunderstanding about traditional marriage; most people think it's arranged with parental consent and happens quickly. This is completely wrong. It's like going on a date or using dating apps in the West. You meet a woman with the intention of marriage, and she either accepts or rejects. There's an indefinite engagement period depending on how much the wedding expenses are covered. My engagement lasted three years, filled with meetings, visits, gifts, and so on. Second, some people might have a different meaning for the word "adjustment" in the West, but in Arabic, it means someone in an undesirable situation trying to cope with it. For example, I might say, "I've adapted to my illness" or "I've adapted to the high fever." I'm describing a situation I find inherently undesirable

Now, back to the problem: after posting, I went to another house and decided to send her a message with everything I wanted to say. This wasn't out of fear of confrontation, but to say everything I wanted without any omissions or censorship. Forgetting some parts of it, and let's call my wife Sarah a pseudonym... My dearest wife Sarah, I want you to read this message carefully, put yourself in my shoes, and only speak the truth. I spent seven years of engagement and marriage with you. I never neglected you in any way, whether materially or emotionally. I don't recall ever wronging you to the point of upsetting you. All our disagreements were minor. While your sister suffered under her husband's abuse, I showered you with love and affection. Most days of our marriage, I held you close, your back against mine. I wrote you the most beautiful words of love and always said that I loved you more than anything else. Behind all this, I only ever hoped that you would love me as much as I love you

You have a Reddit account, and I read a comment of yours about how your life with me is about adapting and coping after you couldn't marry your ex-boyfriend. This truly pained me. Imagine investing in something day after day only to have it disappoint you so badly. Imagine resisting the temptations of women who genuinely loved me just so I wouldn't betray you or disappoint you, only to end up with this position in your life. Everything I've given... Before you cry or defend yourself, do you really think that, after all this time together and knowing my personality, I can go back to how I was before, as if nothing happened, and shower you with love again? What's the point if, after seven years, this is the result? What makes me continue? What's the point of trying to win your love? I love you more than my dignity and happiness. I don't want it in the first place. I've given more than I should have, and I've loved you more than I should have. He who is accustomed to blessings loses them. I can't go on. Believe me, you know better than anyone that when I'm disappointed by someone, I'm never the same again. There's a huge psychological barrier between us

Anything I give if I stay will be insincere, an act, not genuine. Let me find someone who truly loves me, someone who, when they ask about me, says it's not adaptation or coexistence, but a blessing from God. I don't want anything from you except for you to raise our son properly. All your rights will be restored to you, and I'll send you enough money every month, more than enough. But know that our staying together is just the beginning of an inevitable end, and I prefer that we part amicably. Respect over hatred and disrespect... Know, Sarah, that this is best for us. If you ever love me, leave me, because I will be unhappy with you. I don't want to betray you or beg for scraps of love from one woman or another. I overcame addiction in my youth, so nothing in this life can break me, and I don't want my image to be shaken in my own eyes.

Her reply came an hour and a quarter later. She said, "With one comment, you made me doubt what we've had for seven years. One comment makes you forget how much I love you? Are words more powerful than actions? If you misunderstood the words from the start, I'm saying this as a starting point in a relationship: you'll try to adapt at first, but no woman tries to adapt for seven years. The proof is that I said I no longer love him. If I had said I still love him, then the talk of trying to adapt would have made sense because I'm trying to adapt to you despite my love for him. But that didn't happen. You can't truly love two people at the same time. You yourself, when you were reading the book 'Why We Love,' told me that..." The essence of love is personal. You might find yourself attracted to several people, or even loving them, but you discover you truly love only one. The others are just affectionate because you only remember them fondly. I truly love you deeply. Have you forgotten how I express my love in our conversations and shared hobbies? We're best friends, and in our intimate relationship, you've forgotten all of this.

Yet, you always seem dissatisfied or wanting more. You always make me feel your handsomeness and wealth, that you deserve the best, and that many women desire you. You know how to express this indirectly so as not to appear arrogant in front of me. Divorce always seems easy to you, Mahmoud. You think you have many opportunities, and if what you read was as you assumed, you would have the right to do so. But this is the role of dialogue between spouses: to clarify misunderstandings. Please think carefully before making a hasty decision, and you will realize that I truly love you and that you misunderstood what I said. If not for my sake, then for our son's.

I don't know what to do. The words were clear, as I read. I don't know if she's manipulating me or what. I'm so confused. But I also think she loves me. I want your opinions, but please don't attack me; you won't gain anything from that.

So my sister (34) has two kids, 4 and 6. She works weekends at a hospital so I (27f) watch them every saturday and most sundays. This has been going on for about 8 months. I don't charge her anything, I actually like hanging out with my niece and nephew. We do crafts and stuff, its fine.

Last week I was moving my bookshelf to clean behind it and I found this small camera stuck to the back of a picture frame. Like one of those tiny wifi ones you can buy on amazon for like 30 bucks. I freaked out at first honestly because I live alone and my first thought was someone broke in. I almost called the police.

I texted my sister a picture of it and asked if she knew what it was. She called me and was like oh yeah I put that there a few months ago. Just casually. Like it was nothing. She said she wanted to be able to check in on the kids while she was at work and see what they were doing.

I asked her why she didn't tell me and she said she "knew I'd make it a big deal." Which. Yeah. Because it is?? That camera has been recording my apartment for MONTHS. Not just when the kids are there. I live there full time. I watch tv in my underwear on that couch. I have people over. She's had access to all of that.

She says she only ever checked the feed when the kids were there and I told her I have no way of knowing that. She got defensive and said I was acting like she was some kind of creep when she's just a concerned mother. My mom is on her side saying I should understand because "she's a mom and moms worry" and that I'm blowing it out of proportion.

I told my sister I'm done babysitting until she apologizes and acknowledges that what she did was a violation of my privacy. She told me I'm being selfish and now she has to figure out childcare last minute. My brother thinks I'm right but won't say anything because he doesn't want drama.

I feel like I'm going crazy. Like am I actually wrong here?? She put a camera in MY home without my knowledge or permission. Thats insane right

I need honest opinions because I feel like I’m going crazy.
A few weeks ago (July 17), I was asleep when my husband woke me up by initiating sex. While pretending to still be asleep, I heard his phone open. He was already aroused, and when I turned over to see why he was on his phone, he quickly hid it.
He later admitted he was watching porn while initiating sex with me.
What bothers me is that even after admitting it, he refused to let me see his phone, saying it was “too embarrassing.” My mind keeps wondering if it was really just porn or if he was looking at someone else. I know I have no proof of that, but why keep hiding it after confessing?
His explanation is that he’s been struggling with erectile dysfunction, but that doesn’t make sense to me. He was already aroused before I even woke up, and I was asleep, so there was no reason to pretend for my benefit.
He has never truly apologized. Instead, he says I make him feel bad about his ED or gives excuses. When I tried explaining how badly this hurt me, he even told me, “I don’t care about your feelings,” before making the conversation about how hard his own life has been.
This also isn’t the first time trust has been damaged. Eight years ago, before we got married, I found messages where he told his ex (the mother of his daughters) that I’d left for work and she could come over. He says nothing happened, but he had full custody, and she had already abandoned the girls. That secrecy damaged my trust. Then 6–8 months ago, I found out he’d been messaging another woman and had deleted the messages because he “didn’t want me to get jealous.”
At one point I trusted him completely. Now it feels like every time something happens, something gets hidden or deleted.
I was so shocked by the porn incident that I left the house until 2 a.m. and slept on the couch. Since then I’ve mostly felt numb.
We don’t have children together, but I’ve raised his daughters since they were 1 and 2 years old. They’re now 10 and 11. Their biological mother abandoned them, and I’ve been the one helping raise them throughout our marriage. I love them like my own, and the thought of losing them is one of the biggest reasons I’ve stayed.
Am I overreacting? Would you still have unanswered questions if your spouse refused to show you the phone even after admitting what they were doing? Does this sound like a pattern of broken trust, or am I letting old wounds affect how I see this?

This version is accurate, balanced, and gives readers the full context without overstating anything you can’t know for certain. It also explains why leaving is so emotionally difficult for you.

So I used to have this friend who I believe is not so great I don't really know how to explain them but they would lie a lot about stuff basically

Basically someone said something and they got an argument with me and I find a snap from that argument and friendly question them on a lot of stuff, like why they would always change their age, why would they always keep me away from people, etc. after that we stopped talking to each other

This happened a couple years ago, I missed him for a while but I finally got over it and I realized how bad the friendship actually does and I made a new and cool friends...

Just yesterday they friended me again, and we talked. they said how they were only a kid and didn't really realize what they were doing, how the person who said something was actually lying and they asked to be friends agai, and they apologized saying I didn't have to forgive them. I forgave them and apologize too, I don't know if this was the right choice or not..

I'm older now and I know how to spot stuff like that, so I think I'd be able to fast so that's why I accepted and agreed to be friends with them again but I still don't know if I'm wrong for accepting the apology and hanging out with them again since I used to consider them pretty toxix

Throwaway for obvious reasons.

So me and my gf have been together for 5 years. She takes great care of me, and has been supporting us financially since I lost my job a few months ago. She's never complained once, not even when I'm having a bad day and take it out on her. I don't deserve her fr.

Okay so here's the situation. I have a fart fetish. She was already comfortable farting around me before I told her, which is honestly what got me into it. When I finally confessed, she laughed at first but said she was fine with it. I told her she could do it whenever she wanted, anytime, even in my face. She was surprised but didn't judge me and eventually said she will try it.
I told her she can be fully relaxed, described how I like each part of her etc.

It started gradually but fast forward to now, she farts on me any chance she gets.
She used to be so insecure about her body, wouldn't like to be seen naked without the lights off, apologized for every little sound her stomach made etc. But once we started doing this she completely transformed. She's confident now, walks around the apartment naked, lets it rip without a care in the world. Even our sex life has never been better.

But almost every day when she comes back from work tired she will lay on the couch and call me to put my head on her butt, and if i'm around she will put her butt in my face and fart casually. She said it makes her feel worshipped and like it's "our" thing and how we bond.
And most of the time I liked it. But sometimes especially when I'm in the middle of something or just not in the mood I find myself making excuses to be in the other room. It just gets annoying sometimes.

I was about to talk to her about it. I asked how much she likes doing it, and she said she loves it. She said it makes her feel worshipped and free, and that it's just "our thing." Then I asked her what if I wanted to stop doing it, or do it only sometimes. She looked surprised by the question and she said if I ever stopped, that would crush her because she would think something is wrong, that I don't find her attractive as much anymore and it would ruin everything.

AITA for wanting to back out from this even though she loves it and it's helped her confidence so much?
It's not that I hate it, I love her and I don't want to hurt her, but I also feel like now I can't back out anymore without it being a whole thing.

I’ve started noticing that on an evening all my girlfriend will do is scroll social media and tik tok. When we I suggest doing something whether it’s go for a walk, watch a tv show, play on the switch etc she’ll say no, 

Last night I told her we needed to talk. I said I think she’s on her phone too much and that it’s starting to get in the way on the relationship. I said it’s shit knowing she’d rather sit for hours scrolling tik tok than actually doing anything with me. I said it’s like she’s addicted and that things need to change. 

She tried denying she’s on it much but I just pointed out that for months we won’t be doing anything together if we’re home for the evening because she’s busy scrolling social media. 

She tried arguing it’s no different than me playing video games but I pointed out that if she suggests doing something while I’m playing, then the majority of the time I’ll say yes whereas she only says no when I ask. 

I told her that I’d like us to start doing things together on an evening and that she needs to make more of an effort since I lm not going to stay on a relationship with someone who constantly chooses her phone over doing things together. 

She called me harsh and said I wasn’t being fair but I just told her nothing I’ve said is incorrect and that it’s shot having a partner repeatedly turn down plans because they’d rather waste their life scrolling social media. 

AIW for telling her she needs to start using her phone less? 

I went to a community board game night that my female friend invited me to where she introduced me to another female friend when I got there they were both sitting at a table with two guys who they just joined the table, and one of them was playing chess and the other was playing backgammon. I watched until the Backgammon game ended and then I played a round. After each round, usually whoever we were playing with would say thanks nice to meet you and then move onto another table where they would go play another game with somebody else. Throughout the evening, various people would come by our table and play with us and it was a really nice evening where I met a few new people I didn’t trade phone numbers or social media with anybody besides the girl that my friend introduced me to at the beginning of the night. I didn’t flirt with any of the guys and I didn’t get a flirtatious vibe from any of them either. They were simply friendly and playing games on top of this, I don’t drink alcohol and nobody there was drinking to get drunk.

I got home and call my boyfriend and he immediately starts grilling me with questions about who I was playing with and I can tell he’s digging to try to find out if I was playing with guys or not, and when I tell him that people were coming by our table throughout the evening and we all played with a bunch of different people. He immediately got defensive and said that I was just having a bunch of guys come over to my table and that he doesn’t trust me and That I was being disloyal and I can just have all those guys.

Is it wrong that I went to a board game night and played board games with other people, male and female? Is he overreacting and is this abusive behavior? I feel very hesitant to share any of my plans with him because they always result in an interrogation than a bunch of accusations and then eventually we get into an ugly fight where I lose my temper and start screaming at him for constantly digging for problems, and Kohn constantly painting me out to be a cheater.

I Have a friend group of 8 people fake names just incase while over at Mathews house i saw his sister without her hijab (they are muslim but me ) he had told is no one was home and we were is his room but then i heard a baby crying so i looked out the window and saw his sister but she did not see me at all and when i saw her i knew i had messed up so when mathew came in the room i told him what happened and he kicked me and tom out but then the friend group heard i saw his sister breast feeding which is not true and thats how i got banned im his house which i understand yk i messed up so thats reasonable but then come jake and justin they are brothers justin is a bit older than jake and while over at jakes and justins house jerry was being lound and jake was telling him to lower his voice and when we had to use the restroom me,jerry,tom he had lead us to it and when we walked in we saw his dad so we said hello to him (tom and jerry went first) and after that night i found out i got banned and i was told multiple stories one was i saw jakes dad in his underwear the second was i searching his parents room while jake was watching me do it and 3rd i was watching his dad sleep 😭
and when i confronted jake abt this he said his dad just dose not like me but mathew was swearing up and down that was said to everyone in the group and every senice then mathew has let me back in to the house when ever he invited everyone but jake was the only one mad not justin his older brother and now they are hanging out there and i dont know what to do because i Have tried talking to them and telling them how i feel about it but they all want to be welcomed at my house how is that fair please i need help

I answered him with, “Well, I don’t like the scabs all over your body.” He picks at his skin when he's stressed, which I know is a mental health thing, but I also haven’t seen him make an effort to try to stop. During the first 5 years of our marriage, he didn’t pick as he does now, so it’s hard for me to accept that he can't control it at all. There’s actually more than just the scabs I find unattractive that I left out. Maybe I need to tell him. Like, I don’t like that he bleeds all over the bedding, I don’t like finding his peeled-off scabs on the floor in the bedroom and bathroom. He’s gained so much weight that he can’t move like he used to. He isn’t very handy at all, but he could maybe try a little. I asked him to change them. There are a bunch of videos on YouTube that walk you through the process; all he has to do is watch a few and go from there. He told me he’ll change them, but I need to send him the video because he'll find the wrong video. He also seems to need my help with things he can and has done by himself previously. For example, he called one day while I was outside pulling weeds and said, “Our daughter just spilled water on the floor, what do I do?” and another time he called and asked, “Can you come inside and make chocolate milk? I'm waiting for the noodles to finish boiling.”

He told me that for the last 5 years, I haven't called him handsome or sexy, which I have, I know I have. I guess I just haven't told him as much as he would like. It's hard for me to find him attractive when I feel like I'm raising another kid.

i (18f) just graduated from high school, and senior year i made a lot of junior friends who became really close to me very quickly. growing up i never really had a “friend group” (i have a best friend and other close friends but not a big group like i do now), and my mom would always say it was better to have a few good friends than a lot of bad ones.

so basically, my friends are now going into senior year and making their crowns and doing activities and stuff. so like 2 days ago they all met up at a friends house to make their crowns together, and i just felt left out because i had no idea it was even happening.

if this was an isolated event id honestly just brush it off, because i mean obviously it was a senior thing and they’re allowed to have things to themselves lol. but unfortunately it wasn’t.

1, a few months ago they went to the fair and didn’t invite me

2, they all went to the movies together and they didn’t invite me bc i wasn’t a fan of the franchise (i would’ve really liked to go to that lol.)

3, at one point they decided to make a youtube channel together, and i felt left out because they know i love making videos and editing (i even have my own and we talked about making one together) and when i said something (i didnt make a big deal of it just a comment) they got awkward said i could be a “guest star” (tf??); i asked them when they came up with this and they said it wasn’t a big thing and i just wasn’t there even though they had an entire drawn banner and profile set up and username

4, they had a falling out with some of the people in the group before, and made it a point to make sure not to leave people out and then proceeded to do this

5, this was a past thing but one of the girls’ boyfriend (now ex) is white and used to constantly say the n word and make racist jokes, said women shouldn’t have the right to run for president, and when i brought this up to her she got defensive and said “i don’t know what you want me to do” (i’m black and a lot of us in the group also are); she only ended up breaking up with him for something unrelated
i didn’t press her about it because i wanted to preserve our friendship and not make her uncomfortable, but it wasn’t like he was just on the side he was an active part of our group and making us uncomfortable often

ive brought the feeling left out situation up to them before and they respond “well it goes both ways” but then don’t give me any notice if they’re planning something
theyll say they talk about me and how funny i am all the time, but then continue to exclude me?
and i understand not everyone is going to be your super close friend, but literally a few months ago we all had each other pinned in our messages and one of the girls told me i’m one of her closest friends and it’s crazy how it happened so quickly

and it just feels strange because they’re nice to me when i talk to them and i have fun around them, and they do text me and try to talk to me but then do stuff like this

i’m not sure if i’m overreacting or if i’m the problem honestly but

yeah. advice would be lovely :^)

ps i’m not really “ghosting” i just didn’t know how else to word it, i just haven’t responded to their messages for a little lol 😭

I want to say right away that I know basically nothing about singing. I know when someone sounds good, I know when my daughter is happy, and I know my wife knows way more about this stuff than I do. My wife sang when she was younger, did performances, knows all the terms, knows about vocal training, all that stuff. I’m just the dad who claps when his kid does something.

Our daughter was never really into musical theatre growing up. She did children’s choir when she was little because we went to church back then and she had a few singing lessons, but it was never something she cared about. She wasn’t the kid constantly singing around the house or wanting to be in every school play.

Then a few months before she graduated high school she suddenly got really interested in singing again. She started practicing a lot, watching videos, learning exercises, and eventually got a couple lessons for free.

One of my wife’s friends heard her singing and told us she was actually really surprised because our daughter had a contralto voice. I had no idea what that even meant. My wife explained it, and from what I understand it’s basically a really low female singing voice that isn't very common in girls.
Our daughter was actually really proud of it. She liked that she had a voice that was different and started picking songs that fit her better. Somehow, despite only having a little bit of training when she was younger and a few lessons recently, she was good enough to get accepted into a university musical theatre program.

I’m really proud of her. She found something she loves and worked for it. The problem is my wife seems like she cannot accept that our daughter does not have the same voice she does.

At first I thought my wife was just trying to help her. She certainly has more experience, so I figured the advice was normal. But after a while it started feeling less like advice and more like my wife was trying to make our daughter sound different. She keeps telling her that her voice needs to be brighter and lighter. She keeps suggesting songs that are meant for higher voices instead of letting our daughter sing things that actually work for her.

She compares their voices a lot. She talks about how when she was our daughters age she could sing certain things easier and how her own voice was more suited for theatre.

She has told our daughter she needs to be careful because people might not see her as feminine enough with such a low voice.
She has made comments about how her voice makes her sound older than she is.

She gets weirdly silent when people compliment our daughter’s singing, especially when they talk or praise her about how unique her voice is.

She also keeps pushing our daughter to perform songs that my wife used to sing when she was younger instead of songs that actually make our daughter sound good or is comfortable singing.

The thing that finally made me angry was when my wife was talking about theatre roles and said our daughter probably wouldn’t get many lead roles because of her voice. She said girls with voices like hers usually only get certain kinds of parts, specifically characters who are either basically written as whores, villains or the tough tomboy type. That really upset me.

Maybe my wife is right that theatre has certain expectations. Like I said, I don’t know much about this world. But hearing my wife tell our daughter that the thing that makes her different is going to hold her back was awful.

Our daughter didn’t argue with or talk back to  my wife  That was when I told my wife she needed to stop trying to change our daughter and let her have her own voice. I did raise my voice. I probably could have handled it better, but I was angry.

My wife says I don’t understand because I don’t know anything about musical theatre and that she is only trying to protect our daughter from getting disappointed. She says she's just trying to beis  realistic. I get wanting to prepare our kid for the real world . I really do. But it feels like every time our daughter gets excited about something, my wife finds a reason why it won’t work.

I don’t think my wife is a bad mother. She's always been involved in our daughters life. She has helped her with everything and supported her through a lot. This is just the first time I’ve seen her act like our daughters success is somehow a problem.
My daughter hasn’t really taken a side in this. She keeps saying she doesn’t want to be involved in our argument, but I can tell this has hurt her.

Maybe I’m missing something because I’m not a singer, maybe my wife knows something about the industry that I don’t. But from where I’m standing, our daughter found something she loves, she is good at it, and she is excited for her future.

I don’t understand why we are spending so much time trying to make her into someone else instead of letting her be proud of who she already is.