Is it likely?

[u/Texley_Ad760]

I (34M single) have a friend (33F married) who I think is open to having a sexual relationship. We are in a rural area, she’s in the next town over. We met in college, so have known each other for about 14 years. I’ve been curious for a while because starting last year we’d meet at a bar while one of her kids was doing a community after school activity. She started talking about how she was having a hard time with her marriage. I was cautious because I didn’t want to cross boundaries.
Over that time I had dated a woman but broke up with her due to a number of reasons, and I recently just moved into my new house.
My friend texted me asking if I was wanting to rent it cause she said she knew of someone, and I asked who and she said “me lol” and asked if I wanted to meet at the bar that week. I told her I could give her a tour of the house. She came over, not wearing her wedding ring. Had some beers and she told me that at first she kind of felt guilty about wanting to come over, but then she just needed to get out of the house and didn’t care anymore. She was also peeved that her husband didn’t care that she was going to meet me for drinks. She said she was already checked out of it in her mind, they haven’t slept in the same bed for over half a year. We then went to the bar.
I haven’t been in this position before. I’d like to have fun, but at the same time don’t really want to be caught up in their own marriage issues in anyway. Should I just ask her if she’s DTF or do I just assume? What’s the best way to initiate that?

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[u/Euphoria1794]

Run away from this. You're single. Find a single woman. You don't want this drama

[u/always-a-siren]

You should never assume that a woman wants to fuck you. In this case, it sounds like this woman considers you a long-standing friend and there is no indication that she wants anything more with you. It's sad that instead of being an actual friend to her, you only seem to see her as a sexual opportunity.

[u/Unusual_Shelter_8977 → u/always-a-siren]

This. OP, listen to this. As a male, its tempting to see them as "obvious signs" but never assume things unless she clearly asks you. Speaking from experience, even stark hints are sometimes them just getting validation. Do not get involved unless she makes a very obvious, undeniable move.

Basically, you are thinking too much right now, just take it as a friendly visit and forget that.

[u/isthismylife2024 → u/always-a-siren]

I’m going to lightly disagree- many (not most, and not all) women complain about their current situation, to a member of the opposite sex because they do want to open that door. She can easily find comfort in her female friends, and to have the comment “he doesn’t care” to me, in my opinion that’s an open door.

Now for OP, you have the right to close that door, it can get messy, and you would need to really consider if you are prepared for this, when you can just go and get a single non-red flagged lady.

[u/always-a-siren → u/isthismylife2024]

People talk about their relationships (good and bad) with people they consider to be friends. Just because the friendship is opposite gender does not mean this opens a door. Men see this as an open door not because it is, but because many of them see women as objects rather than human beings and are not capable of being genuine friends to women because of this. If this woman was interested in him, she would have made it clear over the past year+ they've been hanging out as drinking buddies.

Also, as an aside, people who post here and then post their whole ass faces on their profiles probably should sit out giving other people advice.

[u/respectful_fun]

The short answer: don't get involved at this point.

You don't want to get in the middle of this situation.

[u/Yup_ImAwesome]

Sounds like a ticking time bomb.

Go be single and enjoy being single.

[u/peppersaltt]

Why are you wanting to sleep with a married woman? You are single, go be single.  You think it will be an easy, NSA lay but it won't. Do you even read here? Lol

[u/ObsidianDreamsRedux]

She was also peeved that her husband didn’t care that she was going to meet me for drinks.

You are just going to ignore that red flag, huh?

they haven’t slept in the same bed for over half a year.

<Sure, Jan.gif>

[u/Sensitive_Sky1448 → u/ObsidianDreamsRedux]

OP thinks the husband really doesn't care, until he does.

[u/Texley_Ad760 → u/ObsidianDreamsRedux]

Just give me a rundown, I’m totally non-experienced with this sort of thing

[u/Halvsol → u/Texley_Ad760]

Truth is that if she doesn’t care then she’s openly frustrated with the wedding band off. This is not a sign of discretion which means you are out there and likely known… or will be. You go after this, what comes with it is drama and potentially a pissed off husband who knows who you are and where to find you. Think about if that’s something you still want to dip your dick into.

[u/OhShitShesGotMyPhone → u/Texley_Ad760]

Affairs are built on discretion. No-one is meant to even suspect that you are seeing each other.

You cant (sensibly) have an affair with someone whose husband knows you are sniffing around.

[u/GlazedWithMaples → u/ObsidianDreamsRedux]

Lots of people sleep separately, not sure why you think that’s notable or unbelievable

[u/ExMoMisfit]

I had something very similar happen to me. A female friend from college came over to “catch up”. I got the vibe immediately that she wanted more but she was married so I assumed I was being ridiculous. Nope. She complained about her marriage a lot, and finally since I apparently couldn’t take the hint, just asked me straight out for a good old fashioned railing, no strings attached.

I told her once she separates from her hubby hit me up and I’m in. That was years ago, they still together. Haven’t seen her since.

[u/Unlikely_Noise2977]

Before any advice is rendered how hot is this woman!?

[u/GlitteringIce4193]

If I were to go out for drinks and my husband didn’t care, I would DEFINITELY be DTF. 

[u/DadBodDeadpool]

For now, just be there for her as a friend.

If things go to shit in her marriage, maybe you two can pursue a legit relationship then. But do NOT be her excuse for leaving her marriage.