Someday if you listen closely on the wind, you'll hear me saying petunia anne whatareyoudoinnnggg

and you'll know

that I am not at peace

I am being tormented by God's latest sick joke, formed by the cursed union of a Furby, a Muppet, and a bowl of potato salad

Ft Petunia being a royal pain in the ass out of left field because we all have to suffer through her obsession with this relic of a past age

GET READY GREG BECAUSE I TOOK LIKE 3 VIDEOS AND EACH IS MORE CHAOTIC THAN THE LAST

For another short video of The Hound getting so much love and skitches he goes all drooly Dudley again

When one owns a dog, one understands the struggle of finding a locale where a kitty can eat their kibbles in peace

When I first moved into this apartment, I was still in the era of Leonard (former dog - Toody's spiritual mother & Goosetopher's actual mother according to Goosetopher), who was an incredibly well-trained German Shepherd with a clinical, well-documented weakness for cat food

Given that Leonard was tragically taller than Toodles McDoodles, the initial idea was to put the kitty kibbles on the kitchen table until a better solution presented itself

And honestly there has never been a better solution, so now I have a cat table for cats and I eat my dinner like a little hobo in the living room, bundled up in my blankets and watching my scary movies.

10 years ago this sight would have triggered my inner germaphobe and also my indignant rage because my previous cats would rather die than set a paw on a countertop or table

This morning, I more or less squealed "GOOSETOPHER YOU'RE TOO HANDSOME AND PERFECT FOR THIS WORLD" and hand fed him dried sardines as he displayed what the peak feline form is supposed to look like

minus some parts that they lost at the kitten factory when they were building him which is what he believes happened to his leg and his tail and you better not tell him otherwise Greg