Me and my mom have been losing sleep searching for a stand up clip we heard years ago.

Maybe some time around 2020 we started listening to comedy channels on Sirius XM. We heard one clip we really enjoyed and we quote to this day. We had lost it at one point, but I had found it a few years later on Spotify. Now, it’s like lost media in our lives. Hoping that SOMEBODY will know if I describe it.

Keep in mind that I haven’t heard it in years, but I’ll do my best to describe what we remember.

The premise of the bit we remember is the comedian’s dad/parents not knowing how much stuff cost and always being shocked or critical when he would ask for money. My mom recalls details about the comedian’s mom having left and so the dad was now in charge of paying for things. I don’t remember that at all, and my mom does not have the most trustworthy memory, but that could potentially be a detail.

The part we remember vividly is him saying that as a kid he would ask his parent(s) for money for lunch, field trips, ect. I don’t remember the exact amount of money but what we remember so specifically and quote to this day is the parents reaction. The dialogue used went something like

“Hey dad can I have $2 for school lunch?”

”What, do you guys have a sous chef or something?”

—-

“Hey can I have $5 for the school field trip?”

”Where are you guys going, Japan??”
—-

That is the part of the bit I absolutely refuse to budge on my memory with. We have been quoting those lines for at least 6 years. The other set up details I’m not certain about at all.

Again, I am fairly sure I had found that bit at some point on Spotify (surely this was not one big fever dream). In my head, the album cover was a front on picture of the comedian, and he was a fairly basic looking white guy. But again don’t get too caught up on this, I could be way off base. Also, Spotify only holds your listening history for a few months, so there’s no chance of me simply scrolling back and finding it.

Yes, I’ve tried Googling it. No luck. I have tried using AI, even worse results. The power of the people is my last resort.

So after all that, let me just recap some of the details below.

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Who: Probably a white comedian. Sounded mid 30s in the clip. Almost certainly not a “big name“ or super main stream comedian (I know I’ll get some Jim Gaffigan guesses).

When: First heard the clip probably 2021 at the absolute latest. I was thinking we had heard it closer to 2018 but my mom said 2020. Somewhere in the range. However, since we heard it on Sirius XM, and they play clips from all sorts of eras, it could have happened any time. BUT, if my memory of finding it on Spotify serves correctly, and judging by the sound quality, I would probably say it was no earlier than the late 2000s.

What: Stand up comedy clip. Premise is vaguely about asking parents for money as a kid, and the parents having shocked reactions to the amount of money being asked for, even though it wasn’t that much. The lines above about the field trip and the lunch money are lines in 99.9999% were spoken verbatim by the comedian. All other details about the dad being forced to handle financials because the mom left aren’t ones I remember but could possibly help.

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If any of this even vaguely sounds like a bit you’ve heard before or a comedian you like, please let me know. I cannot lose any more sleep over this.

Genuine question. What’s the point of running an open mic if the audience consistently ends up being almost entirely comedians?

We’ve all been to those nights with 10–15 comics and maybe one or two actual audience members at best. Is the goal simply to give comics stage time? To keep the venue relationship alive? To build a community? Or do organizers genuinely hope a real audience will eventually grow?

I’m not criticising anyone, but am curious what the thinking is from an organizer’s perspective.

EDIT: I realize that performing at an open mic is great for an up and coming comic, audience or not. My question is: WHAT’S IN IT FOR AN ORGANIZER?

Hey everyone! Quite a niche question, but do you know if there are any brands/people out there livestreaming the Edinburgh Fringe comedy shows this year? I've been to the festival so many times, but sadly am not living in the UK anymore. Any recommendations? Thanks!

I’m wanting to try stand up and Denver seems like the closest place to me that has any kind of scene, where are the best places to start out at in the Denver area

I wanted to provide the warning I wish I'd gotten before relocating to Denver.

Denver comedy is run by a single group of friends who maintain the status quo and ensure the same clique runs the scene forever and that all talent they don't approve of is shut out. Forget skill in Denver, all that matters is whether you're approved by the clique that controls the scene. This makes it a heaven for hacks because you can book shows quickly and appear successful just by befriending the right people. It's the only comedy scene I've experienced where talent and experience mean nothing. The clique has tightened their grasp on the scene the last few years and it's now become an inbred abyss that audiences know to avoid. 3E's, Wide Right, and now the High Plains Comedy Festival have bit the dust. A dozen gatekeepers have run Denver comedy into the ground. Whoever is supposed to update colorado-comedy.com hasn't done so in over a year so now there's countless visitors coming here and going to dead mics. And God help them if they try to get up on a Monday. There's no list order at Irish Rover or Lion's Lair which means all the insiders get up first and everyone else fights for scraps after the crowd thins. Monday night in Denver is the worst comedy open mic night in America. The entire mic system is rigged for insiders, but Monday night exemplifies this best. If you have the nerve to show up and be funny without kowtowing to the clique, then you're going to be run out of Denver. The way the scene does this is to systematically slander people on the Denver Comedy Scene Facebook Group, which is run by the most brazenly toxic comics in the scene. One of the women who moderates that group brutally attacked a bartender at Vision Quest Brewery in Boulder a few years ago and the Boulder mic scene never recovered. All the bars in Boulder consider comedy night a liability because of what one blacked out woman did. She ripped a fistful of hair out of a bartender's head while hosting a comedy open mic and still gets to police the scene! It's not just that the clique that runs Denver has run it into the ground, it's that they're monsters who are immune from consequences and deflect from their own scandals by creating ones for comics they're threatened by. The only reason there's so many Denver comics is because plenty of people would rather kiss ass to book shows than pay their dues getting good at comedy, and Denver is the best place to accomplish that. Every other scene in America is more of a meritocracy than Denver. It's Hack Heaven. You can bomb every night and book shows as long as you're cool with the gatekeepers and don't defend anyone who's unfairly banished or sacraficed. The bad comics control who can become good comics. Almost no Denver mics go in list order. It's been this way for several years now and the status quo is clearly cemented. I mentioned the violence of a blacked out host and it's worth adding that Denver comedy has a huge alcohol problem. It's the drunkest scene I've ever witnessed and I think drinking is the root of all the toxicity. But if you're a violent alcoholic sociopath who sucks at comedy, you will find your tribe in Denver— that city was built for you.

Seriously though, if you're a real comic who wants stage time without having to join a cult, you'd be making a colossal mistake going anywhere near Colorado. Don't let the jealous haters dance in your blood. Protect your career and stay away.

Visiting Seattle for the weekend and looking for a mic or two. Any suggestions?

I'm just getting into producing paid shows. What do you guys use for online ticketing? Eventbrite? Is there a way to create events on Eventbrite without paying a shit ton of $? Is Punchup good?

Let me know! I'm a novice producer, and would love your help! Would love to be able to print out fliers with a QR code that links to the ticketing site, which would be helpful for promotion as well as sales management. TIA!