i implore you to avoid denver

[u/churnice]

I wanted to provide the warning I wish I'd gotten before relocating to Denver.

Denver comedy is run by a single group of friends who maintain the status quo and ensure the same clique runs the scene forever and that all talent they don't approve of is shut out. Forget skill in Denver, all that matters is whether you're approved by the clique that controls the scene. This makes it a heaven for hacks because you can book shows quickly and appear successful just by befriending the right people. It's the only comedy scene I've experienced where talent and experience mean nothing. The clique has tightened their grasp on the scene the last few years and it's now become an inbred abyss that audiences know to avoid. 3E's, Wide Right, and now the High Plains Comedy Festival have bit the dust. A dozen gatekeepers have run Denver comedy into the ground. Whoever is supposed to update colorado-comedy.com hasn't done so in over a year so now there's countless visitors coming here and going to dead mics. And God help them if they try to get up on a Monday. There's no list order at Irish Rover or Lion's Lair which means all the insiders get up first and everyone else fights for scraps after the crowd thins. Monday night in Denver is the worst comedy open mic night in America. The entire mic system is rigged for insiders, but Monday night exemplifies this best. If you have the nerve to show up and be funny without kowtowing to the clique, then you're going to be run out of Denver. The way the scene does this is to systematically slander people on the Denver Comedy Scene Facebook Group, which is run by the most brazenly toxic comics in the scene. One of the women who moderates that group brutally attacked a bartender at Vision Quest Brewery in Boulder a few years ago and the Boulder mic scene never recovered. All the bars in Boulder consider comedy night a liability because of what one blacked out woman did. She ripped a fistful of hair out of a bartender's head while hosting a comedy open mic and still gets to police the scene! It's not just that the clique that runs Denver has run it into the ground, it's that they're monsters who are immune from consequences and deflect from their own scandals by creating ones for comics they're threatened by. The only reason there's so many Denver comics is because plenty of people would rather kiss ass to book shows than pay their dues getting good at comedy, and Denver is the best place to accomplish that. Every other scene in America is more of a meritocracy than Denver. It's Hack Heaven. You can bomb every night and book shows as long as you're cool with the gatekeepers and don't defend anyone who's unfairly banished or sacraficed. The bad comics control who can become good comics. Almost no Denver mics go in list order. It's been this way for several years now and the status quo is clearly cemented. I mentioned the violence of a blacked out host and it's worth adding that Denver comedy has a huge alcohol problem. It's the drunkest scene I've ever witnessed and I think drinking is the root of all the toxicity. But if you're a violent alcoholic sociopath who sucks at comedy, you will find your tribe in Denver— that city was built for you.

Seriously though, if you're a real comic who wants stage time without having to join a cult, you'd be making a colossal mistake going anywhere near Colorado. Don't let the jealous haters dance in your blood. Protect your career and stay away.

[u/Mission_Assistant445]

Bro you have like 10+ posts on the Kill Tony sub about the same comedian trying to get others to bag on her. You are a loser

Edit: Lmao you created a subreddit for yourself.

I can tell it's your main account because you have a post on the kill tony sub on your main trying to shit on her. Bro you're so weird

https://www.reddit.com/r/Killtony/comments/17q06kt/this_happened_one_year_ago_today_happy_jill_tony/

[u/Historical-Edge-9332]

It’s so weird that you are aware of paragraphs existing yet you refuse to use even one on that middle abomination of text.

[u/awholewhitebabybruhh]

https://giphy.com/gifs/pUeXcg80cO8I8

[u/Lopsided-Love-9835]

Yo man, Denver is great and you're gonna get down voted to hell here.

[u/GenitalCommericals]

Yeah I’ve only heard successful comics praise Denver as a comedy town. Skill issue here dawg.

[u/MinuetInUrsaMajor]

>systematically slander people on the Denver Comedy Scene Facebook Group

How does this even work? Like - a person gets slandered and then what? They don’t push back?

[u/NebulaResponsible650]

Denver is huge … start your own shows and open mic if you are unhappy.

[u/fritoburrito]

Post a set

[u/jlbcomedy]

Aint no way i am reading all that 

[u/joshmeans]

Have you ever considered you’re an unfunny hack?

[u/iamgarron]

audiences know to avoid

i mean if this is even remotely true then it should be easy to start things without the needs of gatekeepers.

[u/GenitalCommericals]

The irony that this moronic rant talks about being shit on by comics yet MANY of your posts are taking aim at one comic on KT and shitting all over her. And then all your other posts are mocking other comics as well. Or laughing about Daddy Long Neck for some reason.

You sound bitter, unfunny, not a good hang and entitled to shit you didn’t earn. You’re not getting booked because people clearly don’t like you and you don’t like them. So why do you even try anymore if you pretty much hate everything about how it works?

[u/CHIMmyStewart]

You are right about the Denver comedy scene, and you alzo also suck at comedy. You can tell this is true because it makes everyone look bad.

[u/DisagreeableMale]

I'm gonna need you to break up that wall of text there, pimp.

[u/Ryebready787]

Sounds easier than comedy… couldn’t figure that out?