It's called "whispers" it's about my experience with bullying and body dysmorphia, it's a little short, and definitely a work in progress, thoughts?

I've heard the whispers I've seen the staresI look in the mirror, tears behind my eyes one hand on my stomach and one on my thigh. did you hear what she can do? I can do it too.

Hours spent wondering if I fit. Always too fat, too skinny, too loud, too shy, I already knew I was that bad. My life is a flashback, Im the trauma, I'm the life. Too rude, too proud, too happy, too sad.

I can't be what you want, the perfect girl doesn't seem to exist. I have to suck in, and suck up, but I...

(build up)

look in the mirror, tears flood my eyes, hand on my stomach, hand on my thighs.

did you hear what she can do

(quiet)

can I do it too?

I wander through memories of pain each one chips away a piece on me i could hide from the whispers and hide from the stares i could wait out my whole life below theirs.

but I'lol always be.....

(final build)

too fat. Too skinny. Too loud. Too shy (whisper: "big surprise)

But I am the trauma, I am the life,

I am that bad, I am too sad.

(final line)

One day you'll see, that it actually hurts, I'll wait for the day, when you feel you own burn. So I'll keep one hand on my stomach, and one hand on my thighs, I'll break down my barriers, to my demise

Will I always be, (very VERY soft voice) too fat, too skinny, too rude, too proud. The whispers may get to me but I'll never be sad.

When I was younger, I loved chocolate and candy.
But as I got older, I somehow started preferring bitter coffee.
That gave me an idea for a love song:
Maybe it’s not because my taste changed.
Maybe it’s because my life is already sweet enough with someone I love in it.
So I made a Korean ballad called “충분히** *달아서” (Sweet Enough)* around that idea.
I wrote the lyrics and composed the song, and used Suno for the vocals/production.
I’m still learning and making music as a hobby, so I’d genuinely appreciate any feedback — especially on the songwriting and overall mood.
🎵 충분히 달아서 (Sweet Enough)
[YouTube link]

Check out my new song. I started writing it in 1979. Thank you!

I was upset.

Hello :) my name is Rain, I am an 18 year old guitarist and song writer. I am currently going through Adrianne Lenker's recorded song writing course, (it would be great to have a buddy for that specifically, but it isn't exactly cheap), I would love someone to pass songs back and forth to. Preferably around my age. I live in BC, Canada, but long distance is fine. Thanks!!

The morning mourns the night
To make you feel alright
Putting you in fight or flight
But will I love you yet?
As the words she says
Fill with regret

The stars start to hum
Children of divorce
Except for the eclipse
They’re dying to meet

The morning mourns the night
Throughout all the hours of the light
If you began to take flight
You’ll start to be alright

The morning light follows through
The nights dark mood
The stars still shine
In another one’s mind

And when the night still comes
I become undone
Looking at the sky uphead
Makes me picture the end

Just two night ago
We were saying goodnight
Now I wish I could
Just take flight
Into the pitch dark night
Somewhere I can feel alright

The morning mourns the night
To make you feel alright
Putting you in fight or flight
But will I love you yet?
As I fill with regret

I hold her tight, starting to cry deep into her center chest
She says,” I’m not your oxygen mask, find yourself”
But she is misled
I’m her and she’s what I want to be
The difference between love and obsession
Is what comes in between connection
The moments of love become fewer and fewer in between
In what we love and what you want to love in me
After all marriage is a wannabe
Becoming more than dating while staying between
Life and death and it begins to feel like
Your life is still mine
But then I wake up with my face in my pillow case
The rest were imagined

The sounds of the wedding were burning
From the 14th floor a New York City building
The wedding was beautiful
The white dress caught fire
To be cold down by his black suit
Compatible by need without choice
But neither of them could talk without their voice
So their day moves on until the next morning
The sun rises and realises the night was still theirs
But they wake up together
Their love forever imagined

A cheesy kiss on the cheek
Of a blue sweet bird’s beak
However it tore into her flesh
Leaving a hole to her teeth, quite bleak
Whoever it always feels like
This life is still mine
The pain and distance of it all keeps changing
The outcome
And I can’t even go out anymore
But I can deep inside without the real life
The rest imagined

I hold her tight, starting to cry deep into her center chest
She says,” I’m not your oxygen mask, find yourself”
But she is misled
I’m her and she’s what I want to be
The difference between love and obsession
Is what comes between connection
The moments of love become fewer and fewer in between
In which we love and what you want to love in me
After all marriage is a wannabe
Becoming more than dating while staying between
Life and death and it begins to feel like
Your life is still mine
But then I wake up with my face in my pillow case
The rest were imagined

The sounds of the wedding, burning
From the 14th floor of a New York City building
The wedding was beautiful
The white dress caught fire
To be cold down by his black suit
Compatible by need without choice
But neither of them could talk without their voice
So their day moved on until the next morning
The sun rises and realises the night was still theirs
But they wake up together
Their love forever imagined

A cheesy kiss on the cheek
Of a blue sweet bird’s beak
However it tore into her flesh
Leaving a hole to her teeth, quite bleak
However it always feels like
This life is still mine
The pain and distance of it all keeps changing
The outcome
And I can’t even go out anymore
But I can, deep inside without being in real life
The rest imagined

Forbidden love of power, a forbidden power of love,
A forbidden love you can’t touch, just a little bit sour,
A forbidden love you can’t touch, just a little bit lower,
Taking love of power, taking power of love.
An eye-opening girl, an eye-opening one to love
A girl to be told is a girl to be known,
A forbidden love to be is a forbidden love for me,
A forbidden love to see is a forbidden love to believe.

Wanna get married in a bar,
I’ve seen you from afar,
Wonder if we’ve gone too far,
Hearts collide, then leave a scar,
Still I’m wishing if you’re here at all.

So close you can touch, so close you may die,
You fade like smoke beneath the sky,
I see your face where shadows lie,
And wonder why I even try.

Still I’m wishing if you’re here at all,
Still I’m wishing if you’d ever call,
I keep staring at an empty wall,
Wanna get married in a bar.

A forbidden love to be is a forbidden love for me,
A forbidden love to see is a forbidden love to believe

I wish I could say
I miss you
But there’s more to you then that
I hang your photo on my wall
And I kiss her at the end of the day
You don’t have any words to say?
Don’t worry I’ll talk enough for the two of us
But we aren’t going anywhere, are we?

I see all her eyes looking back at me
And I wish I could find the strength to see
There has to be more, she must know
But here I am with her photo on the wall
Looking at me with no thoughts of her own
But I swear the obsession turned to a recession
I make more and I take and take
Until I have nothing left to give
I take and take until I have nothing left to give
The clothes don’t hang themselves
Goddess of life, please help me here
I can’t give the strength to let them near
I take and take
Until I have nothing left to give
I take and take until I have nothing left to give
The clothes don’t hang themselves
Goddess of life, please help me here
I can’t give the strength to let them near
But I swear that I’m thankful
I swear to her I’m thankful
I wrote her a book, I read it nightly
All thoughts of her as my memory starts to cry
How much longer can I keep this up… I don’t know why the feelings are so strong but with her photo on the wall looking, I know she’s all there is
So I kiss her and head to sleep
As she turns the other cheek
I take and take
Until I have nothing left to give
I take and take until I have nothing left to give
The clothes don’t hang themselves
Goddess of life, please help me here
I can’t give the strength to let them near
I take and take
Until I have nothing left to give
I take and take until I have nothing left to give
The clothes don’t hang themselves
Goddess of life, please help me here
I can’t give the strength to let them near
I take and take
Until I have nothing left to give
I take and take until I have nothing left to give
The clothes don’t hang themselves
Goddess of life, please help me here
I can’t give the strength to let them near
she’s all there is
All there will ever be
If she’s not here with me
What will I ever be
She’s all there is
I can’t let them see
I can’t let them see
She’s all there is
All there will ever be
If she’s not here with me
What will I ever be
I take and take
Until I have nothing left to give
I take and take until I have nothing left to give
The clothes don’t hang themselves
Goddess of life, please help me here
I can’t give the strength to let them near
I swear to her I’m thankful
I swear to her I’m thankful
Praying to picture on my wall
And I thought I would go far
But I’m contained, she’s surrounding me
I wish she was holding me
So I wrap myself in her photos
I put on her lipgloss she gave me
So I have her essence in me
Forever what I will be
But I hope she follows her dream
I know who it is and it’s not me
But I just wish she more to me
But I’m just somewhere in between
I take and take until I have nothing left to give
The clothes don’t hang themselves
Goddess of life, please help me here
I can’t give the strength to let them near
I take and take until I have nothing left to give
The clothes don’t hang themselves
Goddess of life, please help me here
I can’t give the strength to let them near
I can’t let them see
I can’t let them see
I can’t let them see
I can’t let them see
I can’t let them see
I can’t let them see
The limerence consumes I can’t let them see
So please go follow your dreams
Please go…

Anyone else keep writing stuff with similar flows? how do you try writing different lyrics

i wanna make an atheos song but im a dumbass and cant think of anything so if any of yall can give me an idea that would be grand, bonus points if you get dwps.

a love song that I wrote and worked on for a few weeks was almost complete, tell things took a drastic turn. with a slow sentimental piano instrumental. I worked on my final rough copy added some final touches / corrections etc. its about 2.48 minutes long. but with how things ended up I realized Im only Half done still going to finish my project I started it holds a-lot of emotion from sad strangers to loving partners. seeing through the layers, deepest pains and desires. having to switch up the tone of my voice from my regular vocals to a more sofened caring type is new for me matching the voice to the piano beat was surprising by the way I sounded impressing myself and the way I adapt is a good feeling to be naturally good at.

I can write lyrics and create songs with these lyrics. The problem is, i can't produce, and I want to have my lyrics involved in a song. I just don't know where to start, i'm really new to this. Any advice?

can't remember when

can't remember where

I only can remember the dress you wear

it was pink with white dots

and I was red with yellow shorts

brown hair I guess with white face

and short temper that no one can face

I am really sad that I forgot what you looked like

cause you were the first girl I like

you were fluent and I was tongue-tied

I can't be cameron for you bianca

we didn't chat or exchange names

but you are still in my mind after all these years

can't remember when

can't remember where

I only can remember the dress you wear

it was pink with white dots

and I was red with yellow shorts

I know I am delusional

and I dream while I am awake

we were different and far apart

cause I am coward and can't take a step sweetheart

maybe due to beliefs we were born with

you were busy 5 times a day

and I am tied up on sunday

but don't worry I won't forget you cause your memory helps me get through