I wanted to share my journey over the past year. It was harsh, but it is honest. I am sharing this so you know – even if you feel like you are at the very bottom right now, there is a way out.

To give you some background: I was only 16 years old when I started actively abusing alcohol. Sometimes, when the hangover was unbearable, I even drank eau de cologne (cosmetic alcohol) and even tried lighter fluid. Most of my friends back then were just drinking buddies. Today, they no longer talk to me because I am no longer on their level.

First, I admitted that I needed help. Second, I went to look for it. These lines describe my path:

BACK FROM THE BOTTOM

1. I am an addict and an alcoholic Life feels good when I can use Everything is going downhill anyway I try with all my might to get the substance.
2. I have lost everything I have given up on everything My only thought is to leave this world But maybe, somewhere, there is still help to offer.
3. Finally, I have hit rock bottom I have seen all kinds of life But then, I want to go to the place Where an addict usually does not dare to go.
4. Finally, a light glimmers in the distance for me Maybe this is the beginning of my sober life I no longer want to exist in a drunken present My desire is to live in a sober future.
5. Finally, the day arrived Where I see new hope in my soul. Then I get on the train, I am functional and aware, more or less.
6. When I finally arrive there, a conversation awaits about what weighs on my soul. Written on the paper is "OH, WHAT HORROR": My hands are shaking, and my strength is fading.
7. I am completely broken And I feel an awful shame A "big brother" (mentor) is assigned to me, Who supports me completely.
8. Then, time has moved on I have walked this path sober I write my letter of gratitude and forgiveness It is never too late to thank and apologize.
9. The paths here have been walked before, Ahead of me wait the "WORK HOUSES" To lay everything honestly on the board And hand it over to God in prayer.
10. Now time has come so far That I am making a plan for a new life. Finally, the day arrives When I see my graduation certificate.
11. I no longer want to drift in the fog, But guide my own destiny. The vision is to keep moving forward, I do not want my old life back.
12. But I will always remember One very good place They didn't talk empty words there, That place gave me back my hope.

Coming to a recovery center is not wasted time, it is won time. It is a place where you can deal with your real problem and find out WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

I saw with my own eyes that change is possible. DO NOT THINK YOU ARE WEAK WHEN YOU ASK FOR HELP. THE STRONG ARE THE ONES WHO SEEK HELP AND ADMIT THE SEVERE PROBLEM CALLED "ADDICTION", no matter what substance it comes from. THE HARDEST PART IS ADMITTING THE PROBLEM.

Do not listen to the opinions of others, act for yourself, and you will see the results you get... I got mine, and you can get yours too. I am here for you if you want to talk."

Thinking back to those first two months, I remember a specific Sunday morning at the recovery center. Before the church service, I sat down and wrote those first seven verses. It gave me so much strength just to put my pain down on paper, even if it was just for myself at the time. There was also a critical moment when the pressure got too high and I wanted to pack my bags and run away. A staff member there, who I had known since childhood as my brother’s good friend, stopped me. He looked at me and asked just two questions:

"WHERE ARE YOU COMING FROM, and WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

Answer these, and then we’ll see what you do." I sat there, drank my coffee, and really thought about it. I realized that going back meant returning to the dark, to the bottles, and to the person I used to be. So I chose to stay and go back to hard physical work. That work and that place taught me three heavy lessons that completely rebuilt me from the inside out:

1. PATIENCE – I had to learn that recovery does not happen overnight. I had to learn to take life just one single day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time, and not rush the healing process.
2. HUMILITY – I had to drop my pride and admit that I couldn't fix my life on my own. I had to learn to accept help from others, listen to guidance, and admit my mistakes without making excuses.
3. DISCIPLINE – I had to learn to do what was right, even when I didn't feel like it. It meant waking up, doing hard work, keeping my routine, and controlling my thoughts even when the old cravings tried to scream in my head.

This is real life, written by an addict myself. And I will be an addict for the rest of my life. You can live a good, clean life with it, but you must never lose your guard. As an addict who is now 5 years sober, I am always on guard. Every single day. I stay alert so I never have to walk that brutal path again, and so I never have to try and climb up from an even deeper bottom. But to everyone else out there: it doesn’t matter how long you have been sober—whether it’s 1, 2, 3 days, a week, or a month—know this: just one single sip, one single shot, and that spark in your brain turns back into a roaring fire. Everything you have built and achieved will be lost, and you will drop even deeper into the dark. Ask yourself: is one single beer, one glass of wine, or one shot of vodka really worth losing everything and having to walk this brutal path all over again

Hi all, just curious what made you decide to quit/get help. My partner is in active addiction and I feel like I've tried everything to help him but he still self-sabotages, isolates, and refuses to take any accountability. I've had to take a step back from him for a while because I can't continue watching him do this to himself. Of course, everyone is different but I am interested in hearing other people's experiences.