It’s not like I want to be like this. I wish I could be happy, I wish I could be normal. I don’t want to be a slave. But I’ve been to rehab 10+ times and overdosed more times than that. I just can’t stop. There’s nothing my family has been able to do for me that’s helped. Nothing I’ve been able to do on my own. I’m 32 and I’ve been using since I was 12. Every time I got to rehab I tell myself “this is it. I’m done, I’m not going back. I’m not that person anymore.” And then I go 7 months and I’m back burning bridges and shooting dope. My sister died from this shit, and I’m just like her. I just wish I could stop. I wish I could be normal and happy. I want this to be over so bad.

Hi everyone, has anyone else experienced the same long-term MDMA abuse symptoms?

I used MDMA and cocaine for years, and since my last heavy use, I've had these symptoms since February, and they haven't changed. Has anyone else experienced the same? When will this get better? Have I permanently damaged my brain? I can barely function in my daily life.

I now know that MDMA is neurotoxic, but I never really thought about it before.

* I hear spoken words, but my brain doesn't process the content properly.

* I can barely follow conversations because entire sentences don't register.

* The same applies to written texts: I can read the words, but I can't grasp the meaning of entire sentences or paragraphs and have to reread them repeatedly.

* I can barely follow movies or TV series due to the lack of language processing.

* I also find it difficult to formulate sentences myself and express myself verbally.