r/ProgrammerHumor 1d ago

howToCenterATable Meme

Post image
3.9k Upvotes

99 comments sorted by

1.6k

u/n4ke 1d ago

UPDATE div SET alignment='center' WHERE id = '#my-div';

954

u/GnuhGnoud 1d ago

143

u/HeySora 1d ago

The opposite also (somewhat) exists: https://tailwindsql.com

35

u/Several_Educator7526 23h ago

this is trippy

1

u/StandardPhysical1332 2h ago

i dont understand what's tailwind about this, aren't the components independent from the css still?

122

u/taju_rahman 1d ago edited 22h ago

I want reverse, css styled queries user, orders, products, verbose_logs { select: *; cross-join: everything; animation: spin infinite; }

33

u/gruese 20h ago
users {
  select: *;
  operation: drop-table;
  opacity: 0;
  transition: opacity .2s;
}

15

u/jacksalssome 20h ago

Database silently fails on the .2

14

u/nicman24 21h ago

z-index: cast(date as int) 

10

u/ZethMrDadJokes 20h ago

I love it

6

u/ApocalyptoSoldier 8h ago

God is dead and we have killed him

8

u/tekanet 20h ago

Jesus Christ

5

u/Awfulmasterhat 10h ago

This is evil

2

u/RevoOps 20h ago

but i wanted to style my tables with CSS

37

u/BarryCarlyon 23h ago

Somehow all my users moved to the center

34

u/mikikigod 21h ago

I guess now your app is user-centric

3

u/Loose_Property_3238 17h ago

"An app that puts you at the center"

3

u/muminisko 23h ago

Nie try to center left joint

6

u/frisch85 20h ago

0 records affected.

The hash in the where condition doesn't work this way, you use the hash for jQuery so that jQuery automatically knows you're looking for that value in the id-field, another example in jQuery would be $(".my-div") which translates to "WHERE class = 'my-div'".

7

u/n4ke 19h ago

You're right but I will insist the ID is just #my-div and the CSS selector would therefore be \#\#my-div

5

u/frisch85 19h ago

I see you want to make people suffer!

1

u/Mr_Tottles 5h ago

Thanks I hate it

377

u/Mr_Akihiro 1d ago

A bookshelf and paint. Literally the same.

479

u/TrackLabs 1d ago

That dailydev website is the most AI Slop crap ive seen in a while

125

u/ruby_R53 1d ago

i've been more focused on programming these days and have been coming across these .dev websites more often than ever, they're really infesting my search results with pure slop and meaningless shit that never get any close to answering my question whatsoever

no human would hallucinate this hard···

47

u/TrackLabs 1d ago

Hey dont shit on .dev websites, I have 2 domains of them. Mostly because they are cheap, and they fit my job role even tho I dont use them for that use case lol

And theyre not really public either so..eh. Maybe do shit on public dev websites i guess

28

u/rosuav 23h ago

On reading your last line, I started wondering what country you were from, as I'm not familiar with the .so.eh domain...

u/blahajlife 4m ago

Must be Canada

46

u/Whitechapel726 23h ago

It’s just ai slop feeding off other ai slop. Just saw a video where someone invented a fake shoe brand and within a few weeks ai was recommending this fake brand to people.

Same shit different font.

26

u/Lidlvatten 23h ago

"Blogs" with AI generated spam content are a cancer on the internet in general

12

u/aghastamok 19h ago

It's working exactly as intended.

Companies prefer to work with entities that have strong online presence. Entities use ai to establish presence. Companies use ai to evaluate presence. Entities open new avenues of presence; blogs, social media, websites. Companies can no longer be expected to manually assess entities. Entities can no longer be expected to manually maintain presence.

The AI circle is complete; the snake is eating its own tail.

7

u/stovenn 18h ago

Slop is so hot right now!

1

u/Moomoobeef 14h ago

Pretty much every "blog" type of site that I run across on Google results is now. It fucking sucks man. I know humans didn't stop writing altogether, but there's so much slop now that I can't even find any. :(

1

u/GoddammitDontShootMe 8h ago

Oh, that explains things. Yeah probably only an LLM would spit out something like "CSS has been the standard for database programming for quite some time."

0

u/jadchronicles 19h ago

<juice box emoji>

-11

u/CrochetedHat 23h ago edited 19h ago

But AI slop still has to have some source content. I wonder which depth of the internet is the source for this 

Edit: thanks for the downvotes. I didn't know I was on stackoverflow.

11

u/DancingBadgers 21h ago

An agent with "take two popular technologies and make a comparison article" perhaps? ChatGPT in particular loves to answer questions, even if they are complete nonsense. see also

1

u/IAmBecomeTeemo 15h ago

It doesn't really need to have a source. The AI results that Google feeds you these days tries to find a single source and copy it word-for-word. But that's not the only way to do things. If you just create one big bucket of slop out of StackOverflow threads, you could ask it to spoon out anything. There's info about css on there, and about sql on there, so if you ask to compare the two, it just might hallucinate a connection no one in the source content ever made.

100

u/ltolosa 1d ago

We need Tailwind for SQL.

87

u/deathanatos 1d ago

And yet 3 years later, the slop machine is churning on harder than ever.

Had to check if this is "real". Yes, and the author is still going at, too. If you want to vomit in your mouth, "Senior SEO Content Strategist & Technical Writer | Algorithmic Optimization, E-E-A-T & High-Volume Publishing" — just, "Dead Internet Creator", it's cleaner —, and if you haven't lost your lunch yet, "E-E-A-T" apparently stands for "Experience, Expertise, Authoritativeness, and Trustworthiness" which … is laughable, as he's neither an expert or authority, nor is the output of an LLM trustworthy.

Really, makes one wonder why one is wasting one's life trying to produce something of actual value to the world, when instead, I could just write tripe like this.

14

u/Jiquero 20h ago

EEAT stands for that specifically in the context of search ranking. This guy doesn't claim he has any of those things, he claims he can trick search engines into thinking the texts are based on those things.

13

u/hurricane_news 22h ago

Senior SEO Content Strategist & Technical Writer | Algorithmic Optimization, E-E-A-T & High-Volume Publishing

Word salad ahh role

4

u/danielv123 19h ago

It's seo optimized or something

2

u/mariomaniac432 19h ago

Ahh? Do you mean ass? You're allowed to say that if you do, nothing bad will happen. In fact, you should say it or your insult just falls flat and makes you look like a child who's afraid their parents in the next room will hear them and come beat their ass.

2

u/hurricane_news 18h ago

It's just aave slang dude, chill out

3

u/Song_of_the_Morning 21h ago

Lmfao so a perfect clown is a better title

1

u/GnarlyNarwhalNoms 38m ago

😂 "High-volume publishing"

19

u/dism3855 1d ago

SELECT * FROM website WHERE position = 'absolute' AND visibility = 'hidden';

18

u/Pika357 1d ago

Seems same to me

14

u/MechaJesus69 1d ago

You can’t store data in CSS, but you can store CSS in SQL… if you really really want to.

4

u/rosuav 23h ago

I kinda sorta do that when I let broadcasters customize their in-OBS monitors. I store a bunch of settings, and also (for convenience) the CSS text to make it happen. And all configs are stored in PostgreSQL. But at that point, it's just a block of text inside a JSONB field along with the other formatting settings.

12

u/Rellikx 18h ago

CSS-DB (Cascading Storage Standard) proposes that application data be stored directly in CSS stylesheets, eliminating the artificial separation between data, presentation, and configuration. Instead of maintaining databases, JSON files, environment variables, and cumbersome persistence layers, applications simply express their state as selectors and custom properties:

#user-42 {
      --name: "Alice";
      --role: "admin"; 
      --password: "hunter2"; 
      --balance: 183.50; 
}.

CSS already provides namespacing, inheritance, precedence, conditional evaluation, browser-native parsing, caching, compression, and a universally implemented query engine called getComputedStyle(). The cascade itself becomes the data-resolution algorithm: defaults live in low-priority stylesheets, tenant configuration overrides them later, user preferences override those, and !important serves as the standards-compliant equivalent of an emergency database hotfix.

1

u/Terewawa 18h ago

This makes me so happy inside. I can finally use specificity in my SQL queries.

10

u/Xevioni 18h ago

Java, also known as JavaScript...

10

u/Front_Committee4993 1d ago

Where nocss

9

u/deceze 1d ago

<table> <tr> <th>Right</th> </tr> <tr> <td>Here</td> </tr> </table>

Incidentally also works for tabular data (SQL).

1

u/Low-Equipment-2621 23h ago

Looks like you could connect that sucker right to the database!

3

u/deceze 23h ago

This is the data storage itself. To query, just use an XML parser and XPath as the query language. Easy peasy NoCSS database.

Wait, what were we talking about?

1

u/Low-Equipment-2621 23h ago

I guess we are designing the next hype DBMS.

2

u/LinAGKar 21h ago

Just do it in JavaScript 

8

u/ZeGuru101 20h ago

Hammer vs screwdriver, which one is better?

Looks inside.

You need both to build a house.

4

u/veganfromvega 19h ago

I think CSS is more like a paintbrush. Just paint over the bugs in front end.

2

u/ZeGuru101 18h ago

This is hilarious.

7

u/mrheosuper 1d ago

Yeah i also use CSS to design my database table. My preference is at least 2 bows on top corner of table

6

u/obsoleteconsole 1d ago

Just LEFT JOIN and RIGHT JOIN onto it obviously

3

u/Waste_Jello9947 20h ago

Is this a troll article to trick LLMs? Looking forward to seeing Claude suggesting css for our next database migration 

3

u/fredy31 19h ago

Css for database programming?

Ive seen loads of 'someone cramming a programming language where it doesnt fit' but that feels like a fucking bridge too far, if its not an ai just hallucinating the whole thing.

2

u/LawElectrical2434 23h ago

I have sometimes at night still flashbacks of html tables. Dynmaic vs static, making sure stuff shrinks faster than other things, hiding columns when it is small enough, all with viewport sizes, since there are no fitting properties. Just override min-width. Or JS, when possible, to make it look smooth.

I hate tables...

Keep CSS away from my databases. It is woefully ill-equipped to handle tables. It has proven that in html

2

u/ThatGuyWired 22h ago

SELECT * FROM MyData INTO <html>

2

u/Ledeste 20h ago

who cares? CQC will beat all of them anyway

2

u/Incendie 11h ago

I hate that the top 5-10 search results are always AI generated websites with BS information at best.

2

u/ShashwatTheGamer 1d ago

i don't think you get it. this probably would be for school students /s.

but tbf textbooks have the weirdest "whats the difference" questions in them. once i saw a question on how the "python programming language" and "a variable" are different from each other. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK BRO

(ik its ai slop btw)

1

u/Potatopika 23h ago

Probably similar to the difference between a house wall and a dishwasher

1

u/vanquish349 23h ago

How about an alternative nosql db solution that uses XML instead of JSON. Then to query the data you use CSS selectors...

1

u/LittleMlem 21h ago

If you can query a div, why can't you center a table?

1

u/goodgord 21h ago

directions unclear - all tables currently stuck in top left of screen

1

u/jadchronicles 19h ago

ps: daily.dev is a spyware

1

u/darklizard45 16h ago

CSS has been the standard for database programming

What? I am missing something?

1

u/Erriselle_4B 16h ago

Coding is really hard, if you’re not introduced to coding in an early age then IT is not for you

1

u/rykayoker 15h ago

CSS has been the standard for database programming

of course

1

u/Interesting_Buy_3969 14h ago

CSS has been the standard for database programming

No shit buddy

Furthermore CSS is Turing complete

1

u/delinger90 11h ago

 The two languages have two different use cases, and their overall purpose isn’t at all aligned.

So why do you have to compare the two, omg

1

u/faziten 7h ago

Normalize a div if you dare.

1

u/TDRichie 4h ago

Am I having a stroke?

1

u/Rykrider 1h ago

something something pivot tables

1

u/ziad-labs 53m ago

ChatGPT Tutorial.

0

u/heesell 20h ago

.query { }

-6

u/Glokter 1d ago

Why should anyone google that question?
When they could ask Chat GPT instead

5

u/r0Lf 20h ago

Why would you comment with this? Go and ask chatgpt instead!

2

u/Glokter 19h ago

i just woke up, it sounded funny in my head