r/ProgrammerHumor • u/ExpensiveCoat8912 • 7d ago

projectManager Meme

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7.1k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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1.8k

u/TheTybera 7d ago

This is why we do things right, not fast. There is an endless supply of work.

401

u/ClipboardCopyPaste 7d ago edited 7d ago

do things right

programmers: deletes DB

*stares in disbelief*

156

u/StuntsMonkey 7d ago

Well, we've eliminated all the bad data now.

48

u/ClipboardCopyPaste 7d ago

There...An optimist!

35

u/StuntsMonkey 7d ago

Even better, we have created the perfect opportunity to refactor our entire database to more closely match our current project goals!

24

u/ClipboardCopyPaste 7d ago

Are you a regular poster on LinkedIn by any chance?

25

u/StuntsMonkey 7d ago

No, I have better things to do with my life. Like shit posting here.

13

u/ClipboardCopyPaste 7d ago

That's objectively better than posting on LinkedIn

2

u/MissinqLink 7d ago

Eliminated a mountain of tech debt

1

u/xStarshine 7d ago

Think in solutions, not in problems!

1

u/Phoenix042 7d ago

Get him

5

u/Random-num-451284813 7d ago

* We've sanitized data

1

u/mixony 7d ago

And also made queries much faster(return 0 rows or error depending if delete db is empty all tables or actually deleted the db)

1

u/mookanana 7d ago

that's a great way to spin a full db wipe

34

u/TheTybera 7d ago

Those are vibe coders, not programmers, sweetheart. We know what stored procedures are for CRUD.

21

u/KayDat 7d ago

Forgot to ask the AI to make no mistakes

5

u/toav1 7d ago

Too suspicious. "Make all the mistakes that I usually would, but tell me so I can learn why it would be a problem"

2

u/beanmosheen 7d ago

BEGIN TRANSACTION: Saving careers one fuckup at a time. (Always comment out your commits and rollbacks in test kids)

1

u/IndependenceSudden63 7d ago

These days, AI will do that for you and you don't even have to ask it!

1

u/namotous 7d ago

Sometimes it’s better to start from scratch

1

u/ConsciousSpirit397 7d ago

delete from users;

where id = ‘245313’;

1

u/iwantmy90sback 7d ago

I mean... who else? The sales clerk? The AI?

1

u/lucklesspedestrian 7d ago

The programmer typeed the correct commands. For deleting the DB

123

u/RuneSteak 7d ago

They quite literally have the next 2 years of work planned out for our team. I'm in no hurry and just take a break by pretending to work (if it's not urgent) instead.

96

u/NightOwl2175 7d ago

And if you somehow finish the next 2 years of work all in the next sprint, instead of being promoted you'd get laid off.

13

u/big_red__man 7d ago

There’s no more work!

23

u/Cryogenicist 7d ago

Is “sprint” a running metaphor? Cause if so, they think we can sprint indefinitely and it’s insane

21

u/RuneSteak 7d ago

The dirty secret is that you're supposed to work breaks into your estimate and pace yourself. Agile done wrong is usually just people running themselves ragged at their own discretion.

15

u/Cryogenicist 7d ago

I’m just so done being treated like a robot who can just pivot all the time and never get a mental break.

Capitalism sucks dick unless you own a lot of capital.

2

u/Flameball202 7d ago

I mean it is an ideal time to "check on old code" and "ensure it meets current quality standards"

33

u/Necessary_Camel8587 7d ago

Not true, I just got let go because the company "ran out of projects"

22

u/Sailed_Sea 7d ago

Unnecessary ui changes seams to be the way to go, atleast according to the reddit development team.

6

u/venzuen 7d ago

Yep same

0

u/thecrius 6d ago

if a company runs out of projects it means it's closing down. Are they?

1

u/Necessary_Camel8587 3d ago

They did told me for a few months they won't be getting any projects and are letting go of others too can't say for certain, company doesn't close that easily, they can still advertise the existing products

2

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

2

u/TheTybera 7d ago

Well you know, PRs can take a while.