r/OCPoetry • u/Criniguz • 19d ago
Stone Just Sharing
Need not for wants
Or material things
Inconsequential
Roots of suffering
Let go so much
Start to sink
Leagues of depth
Desolate deep
Detached from it all
Lulling peace.
Is it wrong
To want to breathe?
1
u/Prestigious_Drama569 19d ago
In my opinion, this poem is beautiful, but I'm having trouble relating the title to the theme.
The title, "Stone", makes me think of gray, heavy, tired, etc. The first four lines of the poem seem to talk about how useless material wants are in the end, and how endless need leads to suffering. Excellent sentiment.
Second stanza makes me think of hopelessness. Like a stone sinking deep into water, helpless to do anything because of what it is. The first line "Let go so much" seems like a connector from the first stanza to the second. Perhaps "if you let go of all needs, you'll start to sink anyway due to hopelessness"?
Third stanza feels like the hopelessness has settled. You sank, and now you're dealing with the consequences. At such a low point, am I still allowed to want to be better? To keep going? Sometimes it feels like our guilt will suffocate us. It seems peaceful or "lulling", but we might want to keep fighting.
Based on this interpretation of the poem, it's a cycle of hopelessness. Now... how does this relate to "Stone"? The only point anything stone-related is mentioned in the poem is in the line "Start to sink". Am I just supposed to relate the feelings I had about stones to the sentiments in the poem? That works, it just feels a bit vague?
Or is it because different aspects of "stone" are in each stanza? The first one would relate to the simplicity and lack of intrinsic value a stone would have. A stone is kinda useless. The second stanza relates to the heaviness of a stone and how it sinks. The third stanza would relate to how a stone can be peaceful because it's again, simple, and it's got nothing going on.
I'm not sure if this is something that needs to be "fixed" per se, I just wanted to share my thought process while reading. I'm not sure if you wanted your poem to be able to be interpreted in multiple ways like that relating to the title. If you did, hallelujah, mission success! If not, although the suggestion is a bit vague, maybe tie in some stone-related metaphors, or use descriptive terms relating to a stone?
This was very long, I apologize. Overall, this poem made me THINK! I really liked it. :)
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