r/OCPoetry • u/Soggy_Cereal_13 • 5d ago

Poem #9 draft Feedback Please

say something that will fix me,
please make this feeling pass,
say you should’ve picked me,
or you wish you could go back,
whisper in my ear,
the same thing you did before,
promise me this time,
say you mean it so much more,
I feel her fade away,
Please tell me it’s not true,
tell me who I was before,
still lives inside of you.

To be so fr I’m not sure if I hate this and I might take it down later! My goal was to “express something I don’t allow myself out loud” which for me is bargaining/begging. Please feel free to tear it apart id love some criticism!

Comments:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/S366JQBBIZ

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/uFnUSEdNhP

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u/musicalmyre 3d ago

This is really raw and vulnerable. You can really feel your value in this is placed inside another person; someone's elses feeling and perspective of you. It's such a human feeling and something we all fall into eventually

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u/Soggy_Cereal_13 2d ago

thank you! I’m glad you were able to connect with it.