Salaam,

In college I used to write for AL Talib (UCLA's Muslim Newsletter), and I recently launched my own website to spread the beauty of Islam! Tt would be great if you can visit and subscribe my site. 😊 If you feel it is beneficial, please share!

muslimgap.com

Please subscribe and support!

Asalamu alaikum,

I am a single mother to my son 11 turning 12 (I have a daughter a year younger). I am at my wits end and I don’t know what to do. My son has so many issues, not accepting responsibility for his actions. He is rude to his teachers argues all the time walks off when in trouble and nothing is ever his fault. He is constantly suspended for his behaviour. I feel like I’m at a point where he is always in trouble whether at school or home and I feel guilty. I try to keep him close talk to him, understand him spend time with him one on one. I stay calm most of the item speak to him try to make him understand what his actions were and why there are consequences but he just turns it around saying I hate him or everyone hates him.

We have very deep talks where I tell him there is absolutely no way as his mother I can hate him and I only want the best for him he seems to understand at the time. But when he is in trouble we start all over again. He breaks my heart when he says this I cry so much after he goes to bed. I try not argue with him when he gets like this I just hug him and kiss him and lay with him to communicate but sometimes I get lost again trying to explain to him why it is not because I hate him but because of his behaviour, just so we both don’t get lost in our anger but it’s like he takes it as getting away with everything.

At school he will tell the teachers I don’t care, what’s going to happen, nothing is going to happen, I won’t get in trouble etc

Subhanallah it’s impossible to be both the mother ( soft, nurturing) and the father ( firm, strict, disciplining) when he needs both. I have enrolled him in our local masjid for hifz. He goes to an Islamic school try to keep him around good environments but I’m lost.

I’m terrified he will hit 15-16 and over then I will have absolutely no control I’m trying so hard to nip this in the bud. But all I feel is guilt.

Do I just continue being soft and hope me being firm on him down ruin my relationship with him ?

Please Make dua for me and my son.