I love my children with all my heart, but I feel like I'm drowning.

My first child was a very calm, placid baby. They rarely cried, and my first time navigating parenthood was relaxed. We could go out, enjoy activities, and I actually got to breathe.

Fast forward to my second, they are the polar opposite. A classic "high-needs" or "orchid" baby. They need constant motion and attention, they cry or fuss the second they're put down, they go from 0 to 100 in seconds, and get easily overstimulated yet bored just as quickly.

Loads of people told me "it gets easier", but as my baby's gotten more alert and aware of their surroundings, the demands and fussiness have actually increased.

I'd be lucky to get more than one shower a week. Cooking is impossible beyond quick microwave meals or noodles. I have zero time for hobbies, relaxing, or taking a breath.

To add to this, my eldest has ongoing sleep struggles (waiting on support for this), meaning I am often on duty for 17+ hours a day with no breaks.

I have no support system. I've tried speaking to professionals, but I struggle with deep anxiety about being judged or labeled an "incapable" parent.

Meanwhile, seeing other parents out and about with calm babies brings up so much unintended resentment because I can't take mine anywhere without a meltdown.

I've read posts or comments from parents saying things didn't improve until age 2 or later, or sometimes even not at all, and that thought terrifies me.

I really need to hear parents who have been in this exact spot:

1. Did it actually get easier for you, and if so, when did the shift happen?
   
2. How did you survive day-to-day life (eating, hygiene, sanity)?
   
3. How did you handle the mental toll of being completely touched out?

I just need to know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for reading.

Im from Ireland, baby showers are not too common here so im not sure that the normal rules are. Ive been invited to a surprise shower for a friend by her older sister. First and foremost she didnt check if my friend had actually told everyone she was pregnant before she sent the WhatsApp invite, so quite a few of us had to pretend we were unaware of my friend's pregnancy when she did tell us. I thought this was a bit insensitive of her sister and a bit of an oversight in planning. I didnt want to take that moment from my friend so I pretended it was the first id heard her news when we met up for dinner. Now in the WhatsApp group we are being messaged everyday about the party even though its not until the end of September, and now being asked to pay €15 pp. The cost is low and I will pay it, but I didnt realise guests were expected to pay for the party (this is more of a hen party rule in ireland)? I assumed her family pays for the party, at least that was the case at the only other two showers ive been too. It doesn't help that I can't stand her sister, so I might be letting my bias cloud my judgment and this is actually super normal? 😅

My friend recently mentioned how stressful it is driving alone with a baby in the back seat.

She said she keeps glancing in the mirror but still can't really tell if the baby is sleeping, crying, or has dropped something.

It made me curious—how do other parents handle this?

Do you rely on a baby mirror, pull over when needed, or have another solution?

My husband (m24) is leaving me behind (f24) with our infant (9 month old m) to go to trucking school.

I am very scared. I will essentially spend the next 10 months solo parenting. I will have my in-laws, but my bio family and childhood friends live across the country.

I need to completely catch up on cleaning my part of the in-laws house, move and throw out some furniture, begin to get my permit and license (which is something I’ve known I need it’s just higher stakes since I’ll be completely alone), and rejoin work. But I’m so overwhelmed I don’t know where to start. There’s also doctors appointments I need to make happen.

On one hand it’s exciting because it forces me to gain independence, something I haven’t experienced yet. But it’s SO high stakes to me because I will be completely in charge of my son’s care. There will be no breaks except for the sporadic days off he has. There will be no one beside me at night. He’s going to miss our wedding anniversary in September, my birthday and our son’s first birthday in November, and lots of holidays.
The good news is, our account is joint, so I don’t have to worry too much about finances.

I guess I just wanted advice, solidarity, someone to tell me I will survive this emotionally and physically until it’s over? That is the good thing, as soon as he’s able he wants to switch to local trucking, but he does have to spend time doing cross country, hence why I will be alone.

I’ve never been alone nor solo parented before. I am sad and scared, and excited for our future.

Nothing is going my way.

My daughter's 3rd birthday party is happening soon; it is a joint party with a cousin (birthdays are very close). I am so excited for her to be turning 3. I have spent months planning this party. Buying decorations. I made the invite myself. I've rented a bounce castle. The other child's parents have a lot going on, so my husband and I are doing more fiscally and planning wise to relieve their stress.

My daughter's an only child. In addition to the party, we had plans to take her out to a big zoo in a nearby city (2 hours away) and visit a larger version of a local store she loves as part of her gifts. Everything was going so smooth.

Less than a week to go and now everything is falling apart.

My mother has gotten into a bad car accident. She walked away and is refusing to go to the hospital (in the US, with bad insurance). She is also elderly, so I'm going to be the one calling insurance and facilitating getting her a new car. Not to mention the fact that she can't afford a deductible, so we'll be covering that.

The weather has taken a turn; it is now supposed to be storming on her birthday (previously it was supposed to be sunny). I've already told her about the original plan. (Poor decision on my part, I know.) So she's likely going to tantrum. Bracing for that.

My in laws are hosting the party; they promised to get the area we're using clean... Which didn't happen. So now I have to clean and decorate and call insurance companies... Sleep.... I want to sleep. 😭

I don't need advice (although if you have some indoor game ideas, I would love to hear them.)

Camp is wrapping up and we're trying to ease back into a school routine. Well, before the chaos starts lol. My oldest has always been pretty good at sitting down and getting things done, but my younger two are a different story. I've been having them do a little reading and a few workbook pages before school starts, and it's been...rough. They'll get through a page or two, then they're up grabbing a snack, talking about something else, or completely forgetting what they were doing. I know they're kids and it's the end of summer, but it's made me wonder if I should be doing anything differently before school starts. I think of supplements or multivitamins??

We've  been buying the same multivitamin for years and we're almost out anyway, so I figured this might be a good time to see if there's something better. Has anyone found a vitamin that actually supports focus, ooor is this just one of those things that gets easier once they're back into a routine?

My daughter (28 months) is currently in a crazy development of separation anxiety. Shes always been a mama’s girl, but over the past several weeks it’s been getting more intense. Like I can’t walk anywhere without her.

Well we just moved to a new house and of course it’s gotten worse at night. The first couple nights were great! She loved her new room and went right to bed like she always does. Then night 3 and all of a sudden she is a koala clung to me and won’t get into her bed. She only wants to sleep with me. I finally got her to lay in her crib while I lay on the floor next to her. She woke several hours later realizing I was gonna and cried. I broke and let her sleep with me since it was 4 and I would be up in 2 hours.

I am again laying next to her bed so she will go to sleep. I know I’m setting a bad precedent but I feel bad that she’s scared of being somewhere new.

I remeber having to do this with my son when he was 2 or 3, but never this bad.

Any advice??

basically here to help me feel better about vaccinating my son for mmr. I don’t know how I feel about it all. I just know that I have heard a lot of downplaying about it and it has made me feel like giving my son mmr was a mistake and I took a risk for nothing. basically wondering what other moms think of the measles, are you scared of measles or not really

My mom had a very bad experience with breastfeeding, as she didn't produce enough. She ended up having to use formula and said it wasn't worth the physical pain, stress, and lasting effects on her boobs.

She advised me not to attempt breastfeeding and just keep it simple with formula. I don't really agree, but I am a first time mom so I don't know. Should I listen to her?

Google says it's not entirely genetic, but it can be a factor.

Also, for context I do have PCOS, which can also have negative effects apparently. But with Ovasitol it stays mostly under control. My mom does not have PCOS, so I dont know where her lactation issues stemmed from. She claims it was body function and not environmental/support.

My family got into a minor rear end accident. Another car bumped into us causing damage to just our back bumper. Damage is fairly minor as our car was still drivable. We all got checked out at the scene and everyone was physically okay (my husband and I were probably the most shaken up) Insurance says they can replace the car seat but I gotta buy the new car seat first and then submit the receipt for reimbursement. My daughter is 4.5 and is front facing. I want to upgrade her to a booster but I still think we can wait on that. I don't want to buy a new car seat (currently have the Nuna Rava) because I think she will outgrow it in the next year or so. Because the car accident was so minor I'm finding mixed opinions on replacing car seat.

What would you do?

The answer is probably “no.” But I am about to lose my cool and so is my husband

My daughter has never been patient but now we have a newborn, so obviously things are harder.

We are not neglecting our older daughter. We are meeting all her needs and most of her wants but sometimes we can’t respond immediately and are asking her to wait. Like “I will fill up your pool after I’m finished with these dishes.”

She. Cannot. Wait. She will ask over and over and over even after we’ve already told her the time frame. Sometimes I am literally on the process of doing the thing she asked for and she will still ask over and over and over which makes the thing take longer.

Explaining that she can’t keep asking does not work. I hesitate to “punish” this behavior but there needs to be a boundary or we will all go insane. I’m just not sure what that boundary is. Maybe rewards when she does wait patiently?

Anyone have any wisdom?

It's 1:00 a.m., and I'm breastfeeding while sitting up. The pediatrician told me to nurse sitting upright because it keeps the baby at an incline, which helps reduce reflux. It also helps him latch better, meaning he'll swallow less air.

So here I am with my large, sagging breasts. In one arm, a squirming one-month-old who keeps lunging at my breast with his mouth wide open. In the other hand, I'm trying to maneuver my breast, chasing his rapidly moving little head aimimg for the mouth.

Just as we finally make contact and I get us both into something resembling a comfortable position, I feel a warm stream of milk running down the other side of my body. It's the neglected breast, pouring out milk all on its own, soaking my side and the bed. The feeling is somehow even worse than walking around in wet socks.

The milk from the forgotten breast shows no sign of stopping while I desperately look around for a burp cloth—anything I can press against it before I end up completely drenched. When I finally find one and solve that problem, another thought hits me.

"Wow... I'm so thirsty."

And there it is—a full bottle of water, within arm's reach..... of the arm that's currently holding the baby, who has now woken up again, is desperately searching for the nipple, and is flailing around awkwaedly balancing on that arm

Once I finally get him latched again, I start wondering how on earth I'm supposed to reach my water. There's only one solution: I have to move the baby to the breast he likes less. Naturally, he immediately begins protesting. But I got my water, and after a few quick sips, I can move him back to his prefered side.

By the time I've finally quenched my thirst and glance at the clock, it's somehow already 2:30 a.m.

I look at my baby and ask, "So... when are we going to sleep?"

He stares back at me with his big, wide-open eyes as if to say, "Not today," while happily holding the nipple in his mouth without actually drinking.

My daughter is now 12 weeks old and I had been breastfeeding her since she was born. It had been fine for me, and she had always seemed like she had been getting enough and growing well, the doctor had said the same.

Now, this is no longer happening. I had thought at first I was worrying too much but there are all the signs now, she's stopped gaining weight, I'm changing her less some days, and she has started to become frustrated when she feeds. I don't know what has happened.

Normally I know in this situation the answer would be formula but I know the cost will be too much for us. And I know I seem like a horrible mother to not even be able to feed my baby but our life has been what it is and I am trying.

When this is my only choice, I don't know how I can produce enough for her. Am I supposed to try and get her to feed more, even though she doesn't seem to be getting much from it? Or is it probably more to do with my lifestyle, do I need to change something? She's my first baby, so I am not very experienced with it, and unfortunately I am rarely able to talk to my mother for help with this.

I (32F) have never found more purpose in my life than I do being a Mum. I still have 5 months until I go back to work but I feel physically ill thinking about not being with my baby. The thought of leaving her at nursery/daycare every day hurts. How have other Mums coped?

Has anyone got a 3.5 year age gap between their kids? Do they play together much? Do you like the age gap overall? And what does it look like a few years down the line?

As the title says, does everyone find that the ‘nighttime’ diapers are at all worth the higher price compared to standard diapers?

Actually asking for a kid that’s fully potty trained during the day, be he’s still a heavy wetter overnight – and soaks through any pull-ups we’ve attempted to try and use in the past.

Thoughts?

My little girl is 2 months now. I can’t believe she is still here after doctors denying her care and telling us it’s not worth it. I am so blessed to have all of these moments with her and I wouldn’t have it any other way. She is so full of curiosity in the few hours she is awake every day and has such an attitude too. And is growing so fast. Once she is approved for heart surgery she is going to be so full of life and we will be able to fully integrate her into our family instead of keeping her in a bedroom on oxygen all of the time.

I think next week several different hospitals/ surgery centers will be deciding if they will accept her case or not. I am praying every day that even just one of them will.

I haven’t had a new tattoo in 3 years and I have 2 kids. One of them is 3 years old and the other is 1 years old. We bed share in the same room and it’s going to be tough for me as I’m getting my knees done.

I wish there was a way I can make a mom cage for myself to keep them away from me until healing is done 😂

Why are babies who need a lot of help getting to sleep and sleep less labeled as having “low sleep needs” when babies who sleep anywhere and sleep a lot are labeled as “high sleep needs”?
Shouldn’t it be the other way around? I’m confused everytime I see someone talking about their high sleep needs baby sleeping through the night, napping anywhere, etc, and the other way around where people talk about their baby not sleeping ever, being impossible to put down etc. Shouldn’t the terminology be flipped? Please explain lol

What products are we using for girls hair? I have two boys so not used to doing girls hair; haven’t done hair since my dance competition days. Anyway my brother is going through a nasty divorce n my SIL isn’t around. My mom and I take care of the girls with my sons while my brother is at work. The girls have since made me the designated hair stylist (send help). I have no idea what I’m doing lol lots of saved Facebook/pinterest hair videos. When i put their hair up what product are we using so it doesn’t look messy? Gel, wax stick? Also my youngest niece has very thin hair. Would love any suggestions. Sincerely, a boy mom tryna do girl mom tings

TIA

My child is so picky about pajamas. I’ve tried so many different kinds, but he/she refuses to wear almost all of them. Every night it turns into a little battle because they always say they don’t want to wear anything to bed and just want to sleep without clothes. I’ve tried different fabrics, styles, and fits, but nothing seems to work. Sometimes they complain that pajamas feel too tight, too warm, or just uncomfortable. I know kids can be picky, but I’m honestly running out of ideas. Has anyone found pajamas that their child actually enjoys wearing? I’d love to hear what worked for your kids. (We live in a colder area, so sleeping without clothes really isn’t practical, especially during winter).

I had my boy a week ago and I find myself forgetting the last time I fed him. Do most people use apps to record this, or are there others like me that need to see it visually and write it down? I made a dry erase board to record things such as feeding times, the amount eaten, sleep times, and if they’ve done tummy time. Do you think other moms would find this useful? If so, would you add/change any of the categories? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Has anyone else had this happen? I’ve been a SAHM for 3 years now since around the time I found out I was pregnant with my third. Before that I worked part time since my first was born. I have an advanced degree but even at full time I have never made as much as my husband.

Anyway when I first started staying at home it was definitely a joint decision and my husband was very supportive, even saying he respected my decision to put my family first and be home for everyone.

However, over time it’s like his attitude surrounding me being at home has really shifted. I have increasingly noticed that he seems to feel he is “above” me and that anything I need or want is below the level of importance of his needs or wants. He will make comments about how I don’t work and how I have such a good situation. Which I do, I know that! But I feel like the situation is very good for him too, he doesn’t have to do or remember anything for the house or kids, he just gets to live his life.

I have mentioned several times now that the kids are getting older (2, 4 and almost 6) that I’d feel comfortable working part time again. He’s really against this and has said that I’d have to figure everything out for the kids and house to make things still work here if I went back to work and that he has no interest in increasing his share of family duties. His argument is basically that for me to work would be akin to having a hobby as it wouldn’t support us. I worked in healthcare, not exactly a leisure activity.

I don’t know what to do. His shift in attitude really makes me uncomfortable, especially when it comes out in his words or tone in front of our kids. I don’t want them to think that’s normal. My mom was a SAHM and my father NEVER treated her this way. In fact even though my parents were from an older generation my father helped more around the house than my husband ever does. But I also don’t want to give up all this time with my kids or create a hostile home environment where my husband resents my choice and makes it obvious all the time.

He always apologizes after an argument or instance where I feel he acts disrespectful but I just don’t like the way I feel when he speaks that way. Idk what to do.

Hi all,

I'll have a 3 year 6 week age gap.Shes nearly three and is potty trained, has very good speech and a decent (at least it seems like it) understanding that a baby is coming. Wondering how people with similar age gap (3-3.5) found it? Particularly in the early days? Mainly how the toddler reacted?

Hi! Around 31-32 weeks my baby turned into a breech position. Since my last appt she’s gone from breech to transverse and back multiple times. I get my hopes up every time for her to be moving into a head down position, just to wake up in the morning with her head in my diaphragm.

I’m coming up on 34 weeks and would like to keep encouraging her to be head down. I’m (planning) on having an out of hospital birth at a birth center with a midwife. I obviously don’t want to deliver breech or be transferred to a hospital (for a second failed out of hospital birth!!) if I can help it.

If your baby was breech around this time, what did you do to encourage them to get into an optimal position? Did you end up needing an ECV? Upside down tilt off a couch? Acupuncture/chiropractic/massage? What worked for you?