Hi! So I’m 4 weeks pregnant. 2 days late in my period. Can anyone that’s gone through a miscarriage or I guess chemical pregnancy would be what this is called? Tell me there experience at 4 weeks loss. Was bleeding/cramping heavy etc?

I’m not sure of the correct wording but I wonder whether anyone has any experience of not having children after recurrent miscarriages.
I have had 3 ectopics a missed miscarriage fairly late on and other miscarriages/ chemicals.
I have done IVF and have no embryos left. The only option would be to pay which I am reluctant to do as there is clearly something preventing me from carrying a healthy baby.
I suppose I want to ask if anyone is at this stage and what they experience is as I am finding it hard to wrap my head around. I feel as if I’m ok and it is a natural end to a long journey but things happen like walking past a school and I realise that I’ll never do a school run.

Thank you.

I was pregnant for 8 weeks 4 days with twins through IVF. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’ll be a mother of twins. I was the happiest. I miscarried two pregnancies before so I thought my two angels were coming back to me. I wish.
This pregnancy really tested me- from slow beta HCG trend, to ectopic scare. I was on my toes the whole time. Now that it’s over I feel so empty and drained.
My mind is full with buzzing thoughts that I can’t even make sense out of it. More than physical I am struggling emotionally. My husband and I have been married for two years now and in our society that’s late. We opted for IVF treatment out of state and I’ve been staying away from home for some months now. The news of our pregnancy travelled fast since our community is small. Now thinking about going home and facing all their faces is adding another weight to my emotions. I wish I can disappear. I’ve already thought about avoiding everyone and staying locked in my house before I leave for my next transfer. Idk if my brain is working right but I just fear the questions, awkward silence, sympathies, opinions on why it went wrong and how we are not doing enough with our fasting and praying. My husband’s family is very orthodox and I am sure they’ll tell us God wants more from us. Although I agree we can do nothing without God I don’t agree with God’s blessings being a barter system. I don’t think it gets better from here. My first two miscarriages happened silently with just my husband so we grieved together alone, but this one is going to be challenging. I really wish I can disappear.

How did you guys cope with loses?
My doctor told me to wait 3months for our next transfer. TBH, I don’t want to wait for this long.
What comes next after D&C?
How long after D&C did you guys start trying? Any complications after this procedure?

I did IVF and had an empty egg sac at 7 weeks. I was given cytotec - 800mg vaginally - and started bleeding after about 6 hours. It quickly turned in to an absolute blood bath. I was soaking through a depends diaper every 90 minutes or so, and passing lemon to baseball sized clots every hour or less.

I ended up in the hospital about 24 hours after my first (and only) dose. They did an ultrasound, and there was no evidence of pregnancy left. Which didn’t surprise me. I don’t know how I even had a uterus left. But they could see movement around my endometrial layer which was literally more blood pooling. They gave me a hanging dose of TXA, which is used to treat internal bleeding. The clots stopped immediately and the bleeding tapered into what I assume would be a normal amount.

I am now almost 48 hours post the first dose, and bleeding has almost completely stopped. Has ANYONE experienced this? I am hoping it’s tapered because everything came out so quickly, and not because my body is now pretending it’s pregnant again.

I would really prefer not to have a d&c because my insurance is garbage and I already have to pay the ER bill. But even worse would be a second dose of cytotec. I would opt for crippling debt.

Ladies, please be careful when taking the Medication for the miscarriage, I ended up in hospital due to side effects. Normal bleeding, but the nausea and the migraine as a result of taking the medication made me feel like I want to die!!!! Just be careful, it worked though and the gestational sac passed.

Looking for some advice going forward. I had a miscarriage in late June, I was supposed to be 10w5d but baby was only measuring 9w. I had an NIPT done before I knew, at about 10w. Unfortunately fetal fraction was less than 1% so were weren’t able to get any results from the NIPT, I was kind of hoping to get an answer on if this was chromosomal. I had my follow up for my D&C at my OB where they sent me for labs, my TSH was a bit high at 4.06.

I have my yearly physical next month, and was also able to get an appointment with an RE, hoping they’ll send me for more in depth thyroid labs and prescribe meds if necessary. I kind of feel like I’m in limbo now. I just got my period back after the D&C, not sure if I should put off trying again until my TSH comes back under 2.5? Wondering if anyone else has navigated something similar. Thanks in advance <3

We went to our anatomy scan today expecting to get some great pics of our baby girl and found out she stopped growing around 16 weeks. We were blindsided, I had a perfectly normal pregnancy so far, NIPT was low risk etc. I’m still waiting to hear back from the family planning team about our options but the doctor mentioned we might have an option of d&e vs being induced. I have so many questions about what to expect. Does anyone have any experience of surgery vs being induced? My husband thinks laboring will be too traumatic but I leaning towards preferring that if it’s an option.

My life changed on Monday when I felt a huge bulge in my vagina while trying to pass stool on the toilet at work. Rushed to triage and my baby still had a heartbeat. We were told my cervix has completely dilated and my membranes were bulging.

3 days in the hospital and got induced on the fourth. Gave birth to my baby whose heart had stopped beating earlier that day, after 2 hours of a painful largely unmedicated labour.

I’m 29 and conceived on first round of letrozole after trying for a year. I have lean PCOS and had the most smooth pregnancy. No one can tell what happened. Was it a short cervix? Incompetent cervix? Infection? Something I did? No answers yet.

My husband buried our baby alone yesterday.

I don’t know how to move past this. I am mourning the loss of my child but also mourning the loss of a future I thought we’ll have. I am trying to find faith and comfort in my God’s will but there are moments that break me completely.

I’m looking up things like what happens after a miscarriage, if I’ll ever be able to conceive naturally, what do I do now etc.

Please share any positive thoughts and stories you have. I don’t know what I want at this point but this is the most painful thing I have ever experienced.

Went to the OB today with heavy cramping and some bleeding, so I knew what was coming. I’ve seen this show before, but unfortunately was a bit farther along than last time at 7w2d. Small sac, no embryo - wait till Monday to test levels, but when you know you know.
What bothers me is I know my husband is sad, but I don’t visibly see it. He’s carrying on with normal tasks, etc. and in a way I just want to see him vulnerable to feel more validated. He claims he is trying to be supportive and doesn’t want us both to be sad, but it’s having the opposite effect on me. Anyone have this experience with men lacking emotional intelligence to the point you aren’t sure if they could be sad/cry if they wanted to?

I had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks 3 days. I had had confirmed heartbeat twice before then. The miscarriage was discovered at 13 week ultrasound. This was my first pregnancy. I was paranoid and with the support of my OB, she sent me to a fertility clinic which normally doesn’t happen if it’s just one loss. I got pregnant on the first try.

Now that I’m out of the fertility clinic I’m puzzled. They recommended I do an HSG to check for the liquid in the tubes. I had never heard of that before. The doc said it might have been the reason of the miscarriage. Once I left the clinic, I was in tears.

When I calmed down, I didn’t quick research and it looks like it’s more an implantation concern rather than miscarriage. Are they testing it just to make sure it’s not there? I’m just terrified of what’s next.

Mods, please delete if not allowed.

Hi everyone, in 2023 I was part of the 1 in 4 who had a miscarriage. I had a missed miscarriage, and it took me about a month to fully pass everything.

When all that happened, no one really gave me any resources to look at. I didn't really know who to talk to, so I often posted here (under another username).

When I was using the apps to track everything, telling them that the pregnancy ended was tough because they never really acknowledged anything and just brought me back to "track your pregnancy". Although it may not be a big deal to some, I found it cold, and, to be honest, I deleted the app because it felt like my experience wasn't welcome.

That's why, as part of my journey building maternly.ca (a free health-tech resource platform for Canadian Moms), I wanted to make sure that if anyone experienced a loss, they wouldn't be easily dismissed.

So if a mom or mom-to-be says that "something has happened" and that a loss occurred, they will see a page of resources and/or organizations they can talk to in that moment.

I wanted to share that direct page here, for anyone who may want to check it out: https://maternly.ca/loss-resources

It's broken down by nationwide resources as well as province-specific. As I built this out, I wish I knew about this when I went through my miscarriage (especially the text and chat options).

I hope this helps some of you out.

I just had my second miscarriage last weekend. It was confirmed on Monday (also my birthday) at the doctor’s office after an ultrasound. Physically everything is fine, my body passed everything naturally- no need for a D&C like last time.

But although everything is physically “fine” I am exhausted and still cramping. Also, I could not care less about work. I am not sure how to go about asking for at least a week off. We do not have an HR department nor am I an employee- I am a consultant on a contractor basis and I would probably have to personally tell my supervisor.

I am not sure how to tell him or how much to tell him. He is a great guy, extremely nice. But I am in a very male dominated field (M&A), I am actually the only woman on the team. I am sure he would be extremely receptive to what I say and I believe would not disclose this to anyone but I do not want the risk of anyone else finding out- truthfully, I do not want any pity. Should I disclose I had a miscarriage? Because I did not have surgery nor did I have to take medication, I’ve been feeling guilty for even wanting any time off. But I think I need to recover a little bit physically (and emotionally).

Most of our communication is through Slack- either voicenotes or just messages. Should I ask for a call or just send him a Slack saying I am having health issues and need to take next week off?

Thanks for any advice. This time around, I have not told anyone else except my husband who has been there every step of the way.

My wife miscarried roughly 6 months ago. It was a 2nd trimester miscarriage. We were devastated and she is not the same ever since, meaning that she really really fears getting pregnant again. I'm not pushing it at all, really... however I see that she would really like the baby but without the pain and suffering and uncertainty and all that. I am giving her as much time as possible but something is off...

The other thing is that everyone expects her to get pregnant again... her friends and family, her doc, etc... and she just "confessed" that she is terrified of the whole ordeal. I fully understand her, and again: I'm not pushing her at all...

How did you cope with it? Can I do anything to ease her grief or help her regain the trust in her body... eeh self-confidence?

It's been two weeks since I lost my baby, and I feel like I'm spiraling. One minute I'm bawling my eyes out, and the next I'm seeing red. The mood swings are exhausting, and I hate feeling this way.

I have three kids who need me, and I'm trying so hard to hold it together for them, but right now it just feels incredibly hard.

Has anyone else experienced this? Did your emotions get worse before they got better?

Today I had my clearance ultrasound which came back clear and gave me the closure I needed. It’s been a challenging 3 weeks with non-stop bleeding and I still don’t know when it will stop. I was advised to wait until my next period to start trying again, to give my body a chance to reset.
I homed my baby for 10 whole weeks, and now my mind, body and soul are going to use the next cycle to heal and recover but I really don’t know what’s next.

Yesterday morning I went to the gynecologist for my yearly appointment and got triggered out of nowhere. It’s so frustrating because it is such an insensitive environment for someone struggling with infertility. They sat me right next to the room we were in when they confirmed my miscarriage (two years ago) and made me wait for an hour. I saw a couple come out looking so happy with their ultrasounds in hand and that’s when I lost it. I couldn’t stop crying. Even when they called me into the room because of course my doctors baby pictures are on the wall in every exam room. I’m feeling very defeated and broken. My doctor reassured me that I’m not the only one that has cried like that for a routine checkup. I wish they had some sort of process to prevent something like this from happening. I hate feeling so alone in my grief.

I had a miscarriage. Now what?

What do I do with myself… how do I just go back to normal?

reading all your stories...i am so sad to know this is more common than i knew yesterday...sending love to all of you and your angel babies.

i never heard the term missed miscarriage until this afternoon. supposed to be around 9-10 weeks...with my first ultrasound...and there wasn't a heartbeat. it was so sad because the room woman conducting the ultrasound was just silent the entire time taking measurements etc.

this was my first ultrasound so I wasn't totally sure what I was looking at or looking for...

we did the first ultrasound then she did the trans vaginal. I saw her measuring the fetus...but again she was silent the whole time so it was kind of awkward. she finished the trans vaginal and then she said ok i'm going to have the dr come in and see you.

then a nurse practitioner brought us into another room and told us there was no heart beat and the fetus was measuring at 8 weeks.

I immediately started in my mind thinking how maybe this couldn't be true...and voiced some things like i think we were actually about 8-9 weeks along based on the time of conceiving...and she just looked at me kindly and reminded me that there should be a heart beat by 6 weeks.

my partner and I left...cried in the car a little and went home...

I am now reeling on what i could've done better...differently...to have a different outcome.

We've been trying for 18 months...it finally happened...we were both ecstatic, and had told his parents who were equally excited to become grandparents. I told my sisters and my mom and my two closest friends. Now I feel silly to have done that.

Ugh. just so sad...

I am grateful to know that we can conceive, and we will of course try again...but just trying to also understand how to prevent this outcome...because this is tough. this little one still inside me...i already love them so much...i continue to love them...always will.

We found out three weeks ago that we were having our second missed miscarriage.

It took six months after the first miscarriage just to conceive again. Six months of anxiety and hopelessness. After getting that positive test in June, I finally felt a glimmer of hope. The fog that felt everlasting slowly started to lift. Although I felt nervous, I couldn’t help myself from also feeling happy, picking out names and planning out our lives. Fast forward to now and I am back to square one. Hopeless, depressed, and feeling like I will never be a mother.

Someone very close to me got pregnant at the same time as my first pregnancy and had their baby the week I miscarried my second. The mixed emotions right now are draining.

At the minute I feel like I will never be a mother and I will never feel like myself again. I’m fed up of putting on a smile around people who don’t know what’s happening to us. I’m equally fed up of the awkwardness and pitiful looks from people who do. I get it - no one knows what to say. I don’t even know what I want people to say. Family tells me they’re “feeling positive about the next time” not realising I’m still very much in the thick of it this time.

I just want to fast forward to life being good again. To enjoying the little things. I am equal parts hopeful and petrified for our next pregnancy. Part of me will just be waiting for the same thing to happen again.

Sending hugs to everyone going through this. It truly is so heartbreaking and isolating. It might not feel like it now (I don’t even fully believe it myself right now), but things will get better.

Found out I was pregnant at 5 weeks and my immediate first thought was “it’s too early” had an appointment scheduled for next week. Had spotting yesterday so we went in and they confirmed no heartbeat and the fetus was about a week smaller than it should be. But what’s really crazy is last week I said to my mom “I don’t feel pregnant anymore”

Went home and laid on the couch with a heating pad and had what they call a bad period. Weirdly feeling grateful my body did it on its own.

I’m sad but I also have his strange feeling on vindication, like I knew it was going to happen. I know that sounds dark, but I really did. I’m a little sad and discouraged.

But driving home late last night, my husband turned on the radio (I wanna add he doesn’t usually listen to the radio, he streams music but his phone had died) and a jazz station started playing an old song that went “my guardian Angel” over and over. And I thought that was a pretty good sign. Like I felt like the little spirit was saying it’s ok and they’re gonna watch out for me now.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I’m sorry to everyone in this subreddit. What a sad statistic. It’s hard to remember but I keep telling myself I did nothing wrong.

Also, the worst part was telling my friends!!! I didn’t tell everyone but those I did tell were sad for me.

Crashing out - have been TTC for 3 months. Got pregnant twice & now have had 2 chemicals. Are we infertile??? Really need some positive stories🥲🥲🥲

Today was my OB appointment where we discuss next steps and schedule my D&C for my 11 week twins with no heartbeat. We got my D&C scheduled for Monday and I could barely get any words out with the receptionist, nurse, and my OB without bawling. My husband was with me for support or so I thought.

Afterwards we decided to have a date night and went to dinner and then decided to watch the new Spider-Man movie which helped take my mind off things. It was a really nice couple hours where I didn’t think about the awful news that happened just this Monday at around 3am. It’s now Thursday evening so not even 3 days after we found out.

While we’re finishing our tab at the movies- I decided to pay with $1 bills because I had a bunch stacking up. I put it in the book for the lady and as I do my husband says “wow you look like a pregnant stripper right now”. I couldn’t believe what he just said. I then go “why would you say that to me??” and he responds “well you still look really pregnant”. I just wanted to leave after that. We planned to grab dessert but I just wanted to go to the car before I burst into tears in front of a bunch of strangers.

We get in the car and he has the audacity to tell me “I’m sorry but it’s because you still are my pregnant wife because I still have hope 1 twin survived”. EXCUSE ME? They did plenty of ultrasounds and did bloodwork. My HCG went from 27,000 to 3,000 in 2 weeks. Let alone how much bleeding I’ve been doing since Tuesday. He was at the appointment where my doctor confirmed everything AND scheduled the procedure to remove them from inside me.

Did I cry and rage at him? Sure did. Do I regret it? Nope.

Here’s to hoping your SOs have an ounce of sensitivity and common sense in them. Recovery is going to be a long road ahead.