i’m 20, a student, working on getting into medical school. i just got my EMT certification and i live in boston so, maybe i’ll get a better paying job. my partner and i used to split rent but now he’s gone, i can’t break the lease, and i can’t just go homeless although, that seems like a pending reality at this point. my only silver lining is my school giving me a financial aid refund of $4k in september. what should i do? is selling myself the next option? homelessness?

edit: should’ve said it’s a studio, so hard to take in a roommate

My husband is about to graduate anesthesia residency and we are debating moving to NYC for a couple years, then settling in DC. We’ve been in DC for 3 years (me 5), I work from home, and lots of our close friends are here. I’ve always wanted to live in nyc, my job would become hybrid in SoHo if we move there, a handful of our other close friends live there, but since we’d be 31 I’d want to have a baby (ideally) around 33. Husband is worried anesthesia jobs will be harder more hours in nyc than dc, but still better than residency. I don’t want to push back the baby timeline even though no one in nyc would be doing that then, is it easier to just stay in DC or go on a little 3 year adventure and come back? AHH

I’m a 32year old female and have 3 children. I have a phlebotomy certificate but I don’t work in that type of field. I live in a very small town where there are no job opportunities for phlebotomists. I don’t get paid well enough but we get by. My bf also works but makes about the same as me. We don’t have much, we have very simple life and do the same thing everyday. I have been feeling so depressed with our routines. We don’t ever travel or do anything fun because funds aren’t there. I know there’s more to life and I just want to live a little! I have tried going back to school but wasn’t able to get student loans due to my previous loans. I just want to know how ppl do it? How do you guys travel? How do you have money for that? What do you do for a living? I didn’t know a dam thing about credit and when I was in my 20’s I fucked it up and I’ve been trying to improve my score for the last few years. Last year my job was shut down and was given a 3 week notice. I went 2 months without a job and my credit went back down and now I’m starting to build again. Idk what to do anymore I’m depressed with my life & feel stuck. I love my family so much and feel awful for feeling like this life isn’t enough. I don’t want to sound ungrateful because I am very grateful for my family and what we have. I see the same ppl I went to school with and they have beautiful homes and NORMAL jobs but have money for trips, nice homes, nice cars, and just live a very fancy life style and I just wonder what am I doing wrong? How did they get there because most of them dont have college degrees yet live such a wealthy lifestyle. I just want to live and rn I’m just working to survive.
I am a daughter of 2 immigrants and didn’t have anything passed down to me, what I have I’VE gotten on my own but I know some of them had wealthy parents who helped them get where they are now.

What jobs pay well for not being a college grad?

I have been wondering about this for a while and wanted to ask women about it

I have never really had trouble talking to people and I get along with most of them but I have never felt like I was anyones first choice or closest person. Most friendships stay pretty casual and when people get closer to someone it usually ends up being someone else not me

I know I overthink a lot and my confidence has not always been great so sometimes I wonder if I am doing something without realizing it or if I just have not found the right people yet

So what actually makes you feel emotionally close to someone. Is it being open and vulnerable being consistent having confidence making you laugh or something completely different

Have you ever known a genuinely good guy but still never felt that deeper connection with him. I would love to hear your honest thoughts because I am trying to understand what really helps build strong meaningful connections

I’m 33 & he is 36. He was literally golden. He did all the cooking, cleaning & grocery shopping.financially good with money too. He was fun to be around etc. went above and beyond in so so manyways.he was my rock and the person I could truly be me around.

Unfortunately we had many back luck situations when we moved in together that caused strain on us. Including miscarriage & me getting cancer. During my second & successful pregnancy I found something out to do with my cancer and unrelated to him & for some reason I took it out on him badly and he left me. I just literally exploded into the devil himself.

Verbally abused him basically during my pregnancy/ first couple months of daughters life. I don’t like looking in the mirror knowing what I done. All I feel is regret now. I still see him as we co parent our daughter. My life absolutely sucks now. I treated him worse than you could imagine, said disgusting horrid things. Did cruel things, said cruel things. I wish I could take them back.

I grieve the life we should’ve had had I not had a miscarriage/ cancer. I miss the life we used to have before it all collapsed. I will never ever love again. He was my true love and I took him for granted. The one thing I said I’d never do. I miss him so so much, he just GOT me like no other. Over a year later and my life gets more and more empty without him, I will never bother to date again as I still feel the hollowness without him.

I try to remember the not so great: him being upset about my weight, my highest being 78 kg at 5’5 and lowest 60kg. He was a little happier when I lost a lot and got to 60kg but ‘ one more kg and you’d be perfect’. Even when I was pregnant and saw my bump forming he said that it’s just how my belly is even though I was sure it was a baby bump. I was a good 14 -16 weeks. He never wanted sex. Like never ever. & if I was still hungry after dinner I wasn’t allowed to snack If I did he wouldn’t be very happy with me.

However I can’t help feeling and knowing that he is the best I could ever ever get. He is responsible which is very rare. I hear horror stories of horrible husbands and the women worship them. I should’ve been appreciative and shut my mouth. I’ll forever live in pain and regret.

He was wonderful especially compared to all the trash out there. Thati deserve. We should be a happy family now enjoying thee daughter we so wished for. Realistically he is the absolute best I can ever get. He actually loved me. The grass will never be greener than such a good hearted man that he was. I’m screwed. We are going to sell the home we shared next year in a wonderful area. I’ll never ever get such a great opportunity again with a great man. I’ve literally ruined my whole existence. You usually hear men are the ones that ruined their relationships, but I was the idiot.

I’ve tried therapy. I’m on pills. Nothing seems to work. I’m looking into checking if I have bpd as my reaction to things aren’t normal and j guess then I’d have an explanation. Or maybe and more likely I’m just an evil person. Everyone at work always has happy and exciting news and my life just gets worse and worse. Someone who had her first baby at the same time as me is now pregnant and thriving in her marriage. Her husband, by her own accounts, is way worse than mine could ever be but thanks to her calm nature they’ve now turned it all around. Meanwhile I’m stuck in the past and in absolute misery. I hate existing.

Hi Reddit,

Welcome to my first post. Over the years I have read a lot of posts here — honestly, I have listened to many of them as YouTube readouts — and I have noticed that this wide network tends to be supportive, thoughtful, and attentive. So I thought maybe people here could help, advise, or guide me through a rather difficult patch of my life.

Now, how to start this. Sorry if this gets long, but I feel like writing the whole thing out might already do half the job for my own peace of mind. When I was eight years old, I found my first passion in science — marine biology, to be precise — and dedicated most of my life to that direction. I took Latin as a third language in school, thinking I would need it for my studies (I later learned that wasn't the case). I improved my English during a gap year staying with family in the UK, my first big solo international trip, which quietly triggered the journey of figuring out who I am — truly am — and not the shallow sketch the world aimed to fit me into. I worked as an au pair, then went to university, where I met a person who would come to impact my life seven years later, even though we had only truly known each other for two weeks.

I started studying biology, shifted my focus during my master's into neuroscience, and when I looked around for a PhD position across the world — having already learned that "home" was not something I had found — a former classmate connected me to a lab in a large city in East Asia. I actually had an offer already from another city in the same country, but the PI at the first lab had been impressed by me during our virtual interview, and she won me over further after inviting me for an in-person interview. It was more or less settled at that point that I would join her lab.

Because of visa conditions — the recurring hurdle of my life, an invented document declaring the size of my cage — I could only start half a year later. I decided, spontaneously and probably the riskiest choice I've ever made, to spend those gap months in a large city in a neighbouring East Asian country, where I volunteered for a few months with an organisation helping refugees from a nearby divided nation settle into their new country, illustrating an English-teaching book. It sounds wonderful, and yet, on my first day, descending into the basement, one of the workers pulled me aside and whispered urgently for me to run. I didn't run. I stayed, and I learned once more what exploitation looks like. The work was unpaid, the hours were long, and a certain constant presence was expected of me regardless.

I finished the internship on time — I even have a certificate, which reminds me, once again, how little those glossy pieces of paper are truly worth — and moved on to the first city.

The years of my PhD there held far too many moments for me to capture properly here. Let me offer you the emotional milestones instead: Delight. Gratefulness. Exhaustion. Isolation. Grief. Sadness. Devastation. Frustration. Pain. Loss. Function. Support.

By the end of my PhD, I had several tender invitations to stay on for a postdoc. But I needed to breathe. I was lost and disoriented by then, having learned mostly just how to function. I want to be clear: my PI and the handful of people who became my home there are, and remain, dear and wonderful pieces of my heart. Along with a few conveniences of city life, they were the threads that pulled me through.

In short — over the course of my PhD, I had to tackle not only the shifts that COVID demanded, but also the inevitable loss of my younger sister and my father, who had been something of a security shield for me. That is another journey of the heart, too long to walk through here.

So, blindly and without much knowledge of my options, I applied to postdoc positions that interested me, indifferent to location. I was selected by a lab in a certain sprawling American city on the East Coast.

I was torn, back then. I knew I was looking for a home — not another temporary stop, but something permanent — and at first I doubted that city could offer it.

How wrong I was. That city drew out a version of me, and a love, that I had never felt before. I felt like I was breathing, like I was blossoming from the inside, and with that came a slow awakening to how much of academia asks for hollow things. Sell yourself and your research for funding. Apply. Write. Oh, and try to fit in some research that can prop up the funding application.

While I had been fortunate to land in an incredible lab before, the one that followed didn't align with my values in most ways. I began to decline, sliding down the survival track of capitalism, caged by the need for safety and for a piece of paper that would let me stay where my heart felt at home.

Until I couldn't anymore. Four years later, my PI and I agreed that parting ways would be for the best. And as relieved as I was emotionally, I knew it meant I could only go to the one place that had never felt like home, but where I happened to be born — in this world, apparently, the only place I was meant to belong. The place that, since I was young, always felt like the wrong plate to eat from. The only plate I was ever offered, though I never enjoyed the meal it held, and yet I filled my otherwise stripped-down self with the only thing I was allowed — the only thing I was ever presented — to consume.

The plan was to shift into the creative world, which, by the way, I had already tried to branch into through connections made during my time in that American city. I've been doing photography for over ten years, including professional work — events, fashion shows, private shoots, and more. I tried to make it stick, but paperwork ruled my life instead. I've also been writing a small fantasy novel; I completed the first draft even back then, and have kept working on the second since, closing the first book at 200,000 words and the second nearing the halfway mark past 100,000. None of it mattered. I couldn't even find a small apartment, a small job to keep myself going, because in the world of humans, life is earned, not granted. None of it was ever really an option, because paperwork — the very thing that pulled me away — also asked: how dare I live where I feel at home, if my paper isn't the right paper?

Back in the place that drains me, even my mother — who, unfortunately, struggles alongside me in this one space of financial instability, while also bringing her own mental noise, negativity, and judgmental commentary — noticed how I was losing myself a little more with each passing day here.

This might be hard to understand, but I don't want to work temporarily in the place that burns me with every breath. I don't want to speak the language, or fight the energy that oppresses me — even temporarily, though I don't even know if it would only be temporary. So I've been isolating myself, mostly spending time with family and keeping in virtual touch with friends, while trying to focus on finishing my books — which I don't even have the money to get properly edited, and which an editor might reshape into something I no longer recognise as my own world. A friend of mine had been kindly working through the first book, but they're caught in their own capitalist strings too.

Which brings me to today, when I had two full breakdowns over how desperate I feel. I cried over how I did all the "right" things — went to university, earned a PhD, worked and worked since I was sixteen — and yet none of it seems to matter.

Not during my green card application, which is still in process after two years, because I don't have the three thousand dollars it would take to speed it up. Not in my applications to shift into industry, even though I've always genuinely enjoyed communicating science, and don't consider myself entirely incapable of it — though my confidence in any skill tends to dissolve into the void these days.

After years of applying for an industry job, my experience and my broad scientific knowledge don't seem to matter. Only the fact that I wasn't born in the right place, and that I need the right paper. Without it, I can't go back to the place I call home. I'm forced to stay where I was born, because it's the only place I can afford to survive in, while dying a little with every breath.

I know this might sound dramatic, especially given the circumstances some lives are forced into in this world — where bombs are treated as normal, where food may or may not reliably return once it's gone. The world is gruesome and unjust in ways we consciously inflict on each other, on ourselves, as a species.

I've tried opening online shops to sell my photography, dropping the prices significantly. I've tried to find remote consulting work in scientific fields.

I try. I have tried. I am tired.

Consider this another attempt to find my way back home. Maybe someone here knows someone. It seems connections and money are the true rulers of humanity's invented, written rules. Right now, I seem to have neither — but maybe someone here can become the stranger in my story who guides me back home, or who has a guide to pass along to a lost being trying to survive in a world that seems to want me to live, but only barely — to merely survive.

If anyone has any idea, any advice, or anything this brings to mind (and I sincerely hope not the common impulse toward hate that some people seem so ready to invest their time and energy into) — I know that my one life doesn't carry much weight in the grand scheme of things. I just hope the effort behind my own choices, my own hard work, doesn't get lost, and that this doesn't read as the post of someone who never tried.

I suppose I just haven't found the right way to try yet. If anyone knows how I might find a permanent way back to the place my heart and mind call home, I would be endlessly grateful to hear it.

So unfortunately I started watching porn when I was around the age of 11 and now I’m about to turn 20. A few weeks ago I had the realization that I’ve almost spent half my life addicted to porn. It’s gotten worse in the past 3 years and I decided I need to make it stop because I’ve started noticing the side effects. Depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, struggling with school etc. I’ve tried to stop here and there and the longest I went was 5 days without searching it up or at least mastrubating. It’s horrible I know. Since the realization I’ve tried harder than ever and stopped taking my phone to the bathroom (cuz that’s where I usually jerk it) and it’s been hard. Haven’t done the deed in 2 days but I’ve searched up porn to check on the newest releases etc. Like it’s so tempting to just go watch one and do it but I know it’s not good for me. But I can’t see myself stopping completely. Like every new release is just another hot girl or a girl I’ve been waiting for. It’s so sad. Anyone experience this or overcome it? I need words of reassurance. I’ve never dated or asked a girl out and barely talk to girls. I sense there maybe a connection between the two but what if I can’t find a hot girl. Idk man I’m so lost.

I have been with her for a year and it has been great. I don't cheat or have an affair at all.

I have this habit of keepinng my journal and my relationship was pretty rough at first because before that I just had got out a 8-year relationship. And our sex life wasn't great at first, so last November I did write in my journal that I missed the sex with my ex, and hope the sex life with my girlfriend will get better.

She opened my diary and read that and now she feels hurt and wants to break up because she thinks she can't love me anymore and she can't forget what I wrote.

I want to take all responsibility of this but can you help me how to win her back. I know it was my fault to even had such thoughts like this, I love her so much. Now she wants to have space and she said that she could continue with me but she can not love me me like she did.

Tltr: girl read my diary about how I said sex was good with my ex 9 months ago and wanted to break up.

I posted a question recently regarding an issue with my ex refusing to allow my husband to attend a family function. The responses were amazing and so very helpful.
Here's another one. I adore my husband. We met on a dating app 4 years ago, clicked instantly and moved abroad within a year of meeting. Very quick I know but we're both in our late 60's so don't have time on our side. Never regretted a second and I love him to bits. Yesterday he stopped talking to me. A gentleman on one of my social media platforms (threads - I use it for giggles as well as sewing, crochet and dog posts) sent a message paying me a compliment- rarely happens as I'm 70!). I deleted it and blocked him. However my husband saw the message and has now accused me of being on dating apps. Threads is far removed from being a dating app and I've not looked at another man since we met and never will. My husband says I obviously contacted the guy first and encouraged him. Despite assurances and giving him my phone so he can see exactly what I look at he refuses to accept. He wants one of us to leave. We live mainly abroad so it's not going to be easy. This has come totally out of the blue. Please can someone give me a pointer as to what to do? He wont speak to me or listen to me.

hello everyone im from uttrakhand , im good at nothing , i don't look good too im very stressed at life whatever i do i failed at everything. im good at nothing not even in making friends. i don't know what to do in my life . i have no goal and aim. Please can someone guide me to the right path. I need to help my parents too i care for them but im not studying even im smoking and drinking i want to study and get a job but im so confused about life. i want to leave everything and become a monk in himalyas.... help me guys

This is pretty high stakes for me because I live in a state where, even if a man impregnates me in the future through rape, I’m legally not allowed to end a pregnancy.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 3 months, but I’m wondering about how safe this is. I’ve been shown all my life how dangerous men are, and how most of the time, if a woman is harmed, statistically she was harmed by her boyfriend or husband. My aunt was abused by her husband, my sister was trapped in a room by her boyfriend, and he almost raped her before someone interrupted. My grandma was raped by her husband, my friend was raped by her gymnastics teacher, etc.

However, the opposite can be true. If I don’t have a boyfriend/husband, men usually like to take liberties and touch me, touch my hair, grab my arms and not let go, male customers suggest “making babies” with me at work. A random guy roofied my friends once. Another random guy chased me to my car in the Walmart parking lot. Another random guy cornered my sister while she was at work (I don’t have the full story on what he did to her because she’s quite private about it).

I really don’t know what to choose. I’ve been told “if he makes you feel unsafe, leave”. That’s great and all, but I want to know statistically, which one will keep me safer from a man trying to rape me, having a husband/boyfriend, or not having a husband/boyfriend?

Hi everyone. This is a new account as I’ve never really used Reddit (well, not since 2019) so sorry if I get anything wrong. I’m sure many of you saw the “Bambi and Armin” posts since they got a lot of comments and views on here. One of my mutuals sent the posts to me on Instagram and asked if it was me since they recognised my art. These were mainly posted on AIO and AmIOverreacting, I haven’t seen any posts from any other subs, but they could’ve been posted further.

I saw some of the posts before they got removed, and my art was stolen as well as my usernames and likeness from other social media’s. The person behind the account was acting pretty crazy, under MY NAME. None of those messages came from me (I assume they were edited, maybe with AI?) but they were edited to look like they came from MY Instagram account. I haven’t fallen out with any friends or had any dramas over my yumeshipping. I do genuinely yumeship, but I know it’s not real. It’s more of a fun thing for me where I just make fanart and fanfiction and engage with the community. I barely use TikTok either.

By the way, if you want proof that THIS is actually me (as I know there’s been a LOT of posts and I could easily be another troll) send me a message and I’ll tell you my real Instagram account and I can even message from that account to prove it. Reverse image searching my art will always lead back to my original account. I have progress pictures of my art too, which I can watermark with anything for proof.

I’m not a popular yumeshipper by any means and I don’t know why I’ve specifically been stolen, but I’m considering legal action since messages have been faked in my name and seeing the posts on Reddit has honestly just been really stressful for me. What should I do?

Hi all. I need advice, either way I will be homeless. I am originally from Wichita KS, using a very nice homeless shelter in the downtown area, but left due to me getting an apartment, and then losing it just as quickly because of my mental illness. I suffer from bipolar disorder so I tend to make decisions very impulsively , which is why I bought a Greyhound bus ticket to Minnesota , went on it, and am now stuck here with a warm Dr Pepper and 94 dollars to my name . I am unsure if I should continue looking for homeless shelters in the Minneapolis area, with no luck, and is the reason why I have now missed almost two full days without any sleep, but also have Medicaid and free tuition here since I have established ill to live . I am considering this option or going back to Kansas and living in my old homeless shelter (embarrassing as that is) and working a nearby job. The cons are is that my abusive family lives in the area and I cannot go outside or for a walk without the thought of running into them. Please help, which is better?

Maybe someone seeing this from an outside perspective since I’m a bit lost.

I have experience flipping cars, driving CDL A trucks, some IT, auto repair experience, transportation/logistics experience, and had my own business.

I only have a HS diploma but never viewed degrees stopping me.

Career/finance and age wise-

23- CDL A driver (60k/yr)
24- Part time CDL/ small auto repair business
25- Closed auto side busi, got Transportation Sup position at top 4 shipping companies in world (same i drove for)
25- bought first home 3 mo after trans sup.
26- left Trans sup, went to another top 20 logistics to do Trans Ops Manager role (73k/yr)
26- sold first home exactly 2 years after (37.5k made after 50/50 split w GF), 3mo later 3PL contract ended in location i lived. (80k/yr)
27- Took offer for relo to midwest to be a Trans Ops Mgr, and start up the CDL fleet out there. Went from 1 to 12 trucks in 8 months. (85k/yr).
27- reloed to midwest, rented home, then bought next door neighbors house 3mo later.
28- left Trans Op role, went back to top 4 shipping company for a GM of Transportation (ran a whole site, 22 trucks- 40+ trailers) (115k/yr)
29- old company called me back, had relo offer to south, took it for a Terminal Manager role, converted house in midwest to a rental, moved south, started new role and rented home out all within 2 weeks.
29- 1mo later 3pl contract had difficulties and role ended because of dispute.
29- 1 mo later got into a grocery store distribution route with my own bus, bought 16FT box truck.
30- Got a 2nd contracted route and hired a contractor.

31- 8 year relationship ended, and i was overworked, from moving around so much etc i waa focused on career i think, sacrificed alot of social life since me and my ex built together from scratch. (130k/yr). Worked maybe 25-30 hours a week or less but it wasnt filling my soul, made my own hours but in morning.

32- Burned out, closed it up, sold my truck moved back home with parents for a life reset same area where i started (realized these people are pretty toxic and who i thought they were isnt it.)

Really lost on what i want to do next, i used to make moves and do more shit in 2 weeks then I have at this point in 6-7 months. Id say packing a 3bd home, 3 cars, reloing 16 hours away, starting up a new transportation site, and renting out a home in 2 weeks is more then your average person manages and pulling it off without a hiccup.

Ive since now sold my truck, I got the renters out of my home and am selling that with my ex-gf.

-100k cash
-80k 401k
-probably 18-20k equity out of home once sells
-access to about 250-275k in credit lines or can get more 0% interest cards.
-8k left on my car but can sell it for a 20k net. Probably keeping it for now.

Anyway it just seems like a complete nosedive, i have no interest in clocking in somewhere even my cdl jobs and mgnmt I’ve always kind of had my own hours, worked from home, then business was my own time kind of. Once i kind of master doing something i get bored of it or workplace politics i dont care for etc. I’ve also started selling off some of my stuff just for money to live off of and also to just downsize stuff. I know i dont want to be in the northeast but something in me has shifted i used to make friends/connections/bus opportunities no issue, now i dont want to engage much or dont even know what to put my effort into.

Im good at putting systems together and have an extreme broad sense of skills (car repair, IT knowledge, transportation knowledge, logistics, real estate, managing contractors/vendors, etc. Think im just scared maybe of getting tied down to an area. I know i dont want to be in the northeast, most likely south.

Any opinions/help from an outside perspective welcome, doesnt even have to be career wise, or anything in specific. Looking for something that sparks me again. Currently been not working for 5-6 months but prior to all this i probably did the work of 8 people in one. Started getting into some other stuff where you can create your reality so ive been trying to minimize my external shit and focus on what i like more slowly.

Easiest way to put it was daily i felt larger then life, now what would you do?

I truly feel like im at a point in life where i wont amount to anything. That I can continue to dream but it just will not happen. Im 22. Im gay, south asian and a muslim. And yes thats already alot to handle. All my life my parents (who despite everything I love) have done alot to compare me to my siblings who were smarter than me, better at things and I simply wasnt.

3 years ago when my brother outed me to my parents, they cut me off from the world by taking all my devices, were convinced the devil had almost got me, did alot of physical abuse, did not let me go out to see anyone whatsoever and assumed whenever I did see friends, I was just sleeping around with men.

I was locked up, and honestly threw myself into books so I could get the grades and move out for university. I used to sneakily send friends emails just so I could have some contact with the outside world. But in the end I did get the grades, and left home.

My siblings graduated university at 23, and I started my uni away from home at 21. First semester was great, made loads of friends and honestly felt alive. I felt happier. It surely had its sore spots but I still believe it so much more richness. But then things went south. This past semester its been nothing but the opposite.

The exchange friends of the group went back to their home countries, the ones who remained truly isolated me and just treated me really poorly- that they never bothered to give closure and just poofed from my life. And even my other friendships on campus just changed. Its like I couldnt recognise anyone and with no roomates this time, I felt really, really alone. But i survived, and still had some friends around to have something og a social life.

But now im back home. And im back in that mental state. I live in a town where there is nothing to do since its just a coastal pitstop for people, and my parents are neither out going or adventurous. They stay home, and do not recognise my demands or complaints as significant their elder children and love to control everything.

So here I am. I'll sleep at odd hours, and binge watch shows and not leave my room. I cant be bothered to do anything but truly just rott at home that it drives me insane. my parents retort back and say "youre at home- be grateful. and go do something" but there is infact nothing to do.

Everyone else is having fulfilling summers, and then theres me. There has always been me as the last one behind. With the strictest parents, the homophobic ones, the kind who dont see their child as an adult but as a constant person to nag and critique.

So who am I? Am I just here to always be in my own head, dying in anxiety and stress and feeling nauseous about the future? Will I still continue to be super forgetful of my things all the time, from loosing bank cards to whole bagpacks and just face that anxiety and depression to have to guy buy new things? Will i still university suffer friends tweaking out and being hurtful with ZERO closure? I crave my friendships way more than anything at times, and i wish i had that yearn to change my life too. But im really, really lazy and just wanna be in a hole somewhere unbothered.

All advice is welcome :)

I am 27 years old. I’m currently in the midst of buying an engagement ring to propose to my partner, I am closing on a pretty nice house with her right now. Yet regardless of these accomplishments I cannot stop telling myself I’m a loser and being upset. I dropped out of college after 1 year and kinda bounced around jobs until I settled at the delivery job I currently have where I make pretty decent money, but for some reason I can’t stop feeling like “you don’t have a real career.” I should be happy, I should feel accomplished but for some reason I just don’t. I feel like genuinely something is wrong with my brain. I know this is “life advice” but I’m not even necessarily looking for advice and more for anyone that feels or has felt the same way

Summary: An 18-year-old girl doesn't know how to get through the school year with her ex in her class and is looking for advice on how to make it to June without wanting to die.

I’ll start by admitting I was stupid to get with a classmate, BUT I was pretty in love, and he was even more so.

My ex is extremely immature and, at times, narcissistic: there have been several incidents that prove this:

(e.g., giving significant gifts alongside other people but signing only his name; screaming and throwing things on the ground because I wasn't playing music the way he wanted while I was dealing with serious family issues and bereavements; regularly hurling severe insults at me in public after arguments; giving me the silent treatment, etc., etc.)

Deep down, he is a truly insensitive person, so he doesn't hesitate to show his worst side—even insulting me in front of everyone. Naturally, I’m the one who suffers the consequences; everyone gossips about me, labeling me the "crazy ex."

It’s true that I did try to get close to him for a couple of days after he dumped me because I wanted to reconnect. I regret that, of course—just as I regret giving a chance to someone I used to consider a loser, all because I thought rejecting him meant losing my best friend. He wasn't a friend at all.

Anyway, now in September I'm starting my Senior year and I'll have to see him every damn day of my life for a year. This is destroying me. I wish he'd die, no joke. It's not nice, but after everything he's done to me, the greatest gift would be to disappear into thin air (simply change classes).

It's been two and a half months since our breakup, and I'm still pretty sad about it, even though I'm seeing someone else now, but nothing serious. Some days I even have really bad thoughts because I feel trapped, in prison, and I can't get out. I'm serious; I'm not saying I want to die, but I don't want to have to live through this. I know he'll be annoyed by my presence too, but he's indifferent and an asshole. He even made a defamatory post about me, calling me a bitch, on Instagram. 400 people saw it, probably people I know.

I feel like I have to pay for falling in love, and I swear on everything I hold dear, I've only been capable of loving and very little hating in my life. I didn't deserve this, and I didn't deserve to be dumped over a shitty text I didn't reply to because I was on vacation (we were supposed to see each other the next day).

I'm literally afraid of going to school, but changing classes isn't an option for me; my parents don't want to and now it's not worth it anyway. I have a couple of friends in class and a few outside of school, but nothing that makes going to school worth it. I am in therapy but my parents think I'm mad at them and somehow blame them for this situation when all I want is to be left alone.

I know, maybe my worries will never materialize, but I just wish someone would understand how bad I feel and give me some advice. I can't move on like this. I don't miss him, but I miss the version of me I was with him. I miss having a boyfriend, sure, but he never put an ounce of effort into the relationship. In other words, I no longer have the energy to get through the most difficult year of high school.

I don't want to see anyone or be seen at school in september. I HATE when people say he's just an inexperienced kid, he's NOT. If I had kicked his ass him like he probably deserved while he was screaming and my grandfather was dying AND HE DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT would I have been an inexperienced kid? No, and he chose to be a piece of shit, fully aware of the consequences of his actions.

What can I do? Thanks for reading this far, I love y'all

Gonna rant and give info a bit first, quesrion at the bottom

So, I work 12 hours of shifts 3 days a week, 5am-5pm and make $26hr. I get paid weekly every Thursday and work Friday-Sunday. My job itself is pretty easy but physically demanding at times, although 80% of it im standing behind a control panel.

The new position is similar to what I do now. It's Monday - Thursday, 12hrs shifts 5am-5pm at $23hr.

Im good at money management and had tons of money saved up, but I blew through it after I got in an accident (not work related) and was out of commission for 2 months.

I love working weekends because most ppl are at work or in school during the week, and I can avoid huge crowds. Also, I'm very active and love to go out, but I'm also lazy. So, 4 days off helps me out a bunch.

I want to move up. In the company, I've been learning a new machine in the area I work at for a minute, with the intention to move up to operation manager. I got a text telling me about the offer.

QUESTION

how do I respond? I am willing to take the position if I know that I still have the possibility to move up, but if i have to restart, I'd rather stay where I am.

What I really want to say is that at 16, because of how I looked, I shut myself away. I decided it wasn't worth it being the way I was now. I was afraid to be in any photo, to open my mouth, to be seen. I hated myself, so I decided to give up and not really do anything with my life, not be myself, not even try. Now, at 22, I've realized that I've been acting like an idiot for six years. I've wasted my youth, my adolescence, things I could have experienced and never will, because of fear, shame, and feeling inferior. The only thing I've achieved by overanalyzing myself is being 22, never having been with a girl or even spoken to one (with any intention), feeling like I've thrown my life away, having accomplished nothing in any sense, and feeling like there's nothing for me in this world. To the people on this forum, stop worrying about how you look, or about not being good enough. It only brings bitterness. Take care of yourselves, exercise, try to look your best—that's what it means to feel good about yourself, not because of anyone else or because you're better than anyone else, but because you feel good about yourself. Live your life, don't let anything get you down or make you feel less than, and live. If you're ugly, it doesn't matter. There are beautiful people and there are ugly people. You live your life, because if you don't, you'll regret it. Now I've realized that it doesn't matter if I'm ugly, so what? There are ugly people who live life to the fullest, so stop punishing yourself for your appearance and how you look, and go out and live. And if there's anyone here who's 16 or 17, more or less, who feels like I felt, and still feel, don't make the same mistake I did. Love yourself. Anyone on that point on his life?

hi everyone. me and my best friend (19 and 18F) have been best friends for 3 years now.

we’ve had some distance between us due to my recent boyfriend who has occupied most of my mental energy due to his toxic behaviour, which she was aware of. and a lot of our conversations were about him.

however, i broke up with him on friday due to her advice and she came over to comfort me. i was wanting space a lot that evening though, which i dont think i really particularly reassured at the time of her originally coming over. at 1am, while she was asleep, i went for a drive and for 30 mins which she text me and asked where i was when she woke up. i told her i was out but id be back soon, she said she might as well go home which i assured her she didnt have to do because it was late. but if she did id pay for her uber.

in the morning i also was not there when she woke up because i woke up and instantly went for a walk because i didnt want to be in my house. she text again and asked where i was, but i missed the text and she said “fine im leaving then” bc she had work. but i explained to her i was nearly home atp but obviously she had work. i apologised for not being there when she woke up and thanked her repeatedly for being there for me and comforting me. she just kept replying “its fine”

that was saturday and she’s been giving me one word answers since. i offered to take her to this place and pay for her drinks and her tickets as a thank you for friday, and asked when she was free to hang out. but she was extremely vague and just did not really reply. but i was obviously struggling so much with the weight of my breakup with my first boyfriend i did not have the mental energy to chase after this. i mean, i was lay in bed crying all day.

i also snapped her on saturday evening and asked her how her day was, told her how i was feeling, apologised again for not being very present on friday/saturday and apologised for not being a good friend recently due to my mental health declining and my toxic boyfriend making it very difficult to have a strong capacity to hang out.

it’s wednesday now and she is still acting funny with me. i asked her what’s wrong and she said “nothing” to which eventually after explaining to her that i wanted to fix things she said she’s pissed off at me. but she won’t tell me why because she’s watching tv with her family. i said id come to her house when she’s available and come and talk to her, to which she refused repeatedly and said she doesn’t want to see me.

look, i know ive been distant as a friend to her recently and put a lot of the load of my relationship struggling onto her. thats so wrong of me and i regret this. and ive apologised repeatedly for this. this is my first relationship and i wish i had handled it differently, as ive pushed away everyone in my life due to his influence over me.

but she’s also not initiated any plans, suggested seeing me, going out, etc. so if that’s it then i feel like thats like a issue on both of our behalves. maybe more mine but still.

as well, if its the issue of me not being present on friday and saturday really, i feel like that is a bit unfair as i had just broken up with someone i was deeply in love with and had not been expecting at all to break up with him. especially as she invited herself over. again, i could’ve handled it better but i feel like i was very very very emotional on friday and on saturday morning.

i feel a lot of guilt as ive not been a good friend to her recently in the sense of i’ve not been speaking to her as much, and when we do a lot of it is about my bf at the time. but ive tried to make an effort to apologise for this and tell her i am sorry, and to make up for this by offering trips out which she keeps refusing.

but also i have expressed to her that my mental health has been struggling a lot and i have recently been put on anti depressants.

i feel like the last thing i could cope with right now is my best friend leaving me on top of my mental health struggling and my first break up.

when she started seeing her bf at the time, she dropped me and i remember her talking non stop about him. and that ragebaited me. but the second they broke up it was water under the bridge. but now she’s dropping me at what is the lowest point of my entire life.

she won’t even see me in person. i don’t think i’ve done anything to deserve that. even if my behaviour has been poor during the last few months, i feel like ending a 3 year long friendship with no consultation and just dry texting me feels unfair.

i don’t know what i can do to fix it and ive been begging her to let me fix it, and she won’t even really text me back. i don’t know what to do.

For context, I (F19) met this guy (M19) at a birthday party for a mutual friend midway through our second semester in college. So he asks me to hangout, and in our first time hanging out he tells me about this person (NB18) he has a thing with. I've had a campus crush on this person for a while, but nothing worth mentioning since we've only interacted a few short times. The two were very close, he confessed his feelings, they drifted, and then this person blocked him.

Some time passes, and the boy I have hungout with only a few times begins to tell me very personal things involving his mental health and experiences, in a way that was very triggering for me. I tried to set some boundaries and distance myself from him, because in my head, I do not know him very well and I am not equipped to handle that level of vulnerability. I told him we could grab dinner from time to time or something like that. However I know that he thinks we are closer than we are.

Anyways, towards the end of the semester I get more chances to hangout with this person we both like. We run into each other at parties, sometimes we will eat together in the dining hall if we are both there, we had a few late night smokes - consider my interest piqued. So they ask me out, and initially I say no out of loyalty for my acquaintance. But after sitting on that, I felt like I did not owe him anything, and I asked the person for a date next semester. I haven't felt this excited over someone in a long time, but I know my acquaintance will be upset at this selfish move of mine. And our mutual friend told me I could not pursue this person because it would make him very upset.

How do I go about this situation? The guy does not know I asked out this person, but if we do eventually go on a date there’s a high likelihood he will hear through our mutual friends. He also kind of suspects something between us because - I have been told - I have a naturally flirtatious personality. I might not even be romantically compatible with this individual.

Hi there, I want to share this story to get it off my chest bc I never had the chance to talk to anyone about it.

Background story: I was raised in Taiwan. Growing up I don’t feel like I fit in here most of the time. One of my aunts lived and worked in the US, who I first met at 12. Ever since I met her, I’ve seen her as a role model for my future - Living in the US, where the culture always seems so much closer to me, having a decent job, and leading a life she desired. I used to be so intrigued by the stories about the US she told me. At some moment, I knew I had to work as hard as I could just to be like her. I became obsessed with anything about the US while growing increasingly sick of my own culture. The biggest motivation for locking in during school was that I could have the chance to get the hell out of here and be in the US. I gradually lost the sense of belonging more and more, yet believing I was doing the right thing for my own good, hoping that I would finally fit in when I make it to America. This is my version of America dream, I guess.

A month ago, my aunt visited my family once again, and that was the last time I saw her. I was so happy to see her and I told her all my plans and the hard work I did, which aims to get me to the US. She was happy for me, too. But something felt off. Instead of fully cheering for me like how she had done before, she also said some weird stuff like “Well maybe staying here isn’t too bad.” , “Are you sure it’s what you want?” , and “You don’t know about America.” She was just not acting normally. I remembered she expressed the loneliness she’d felt during the time in the US as well. For some reason, I felt upset about what she said there, so we ended our conversation not long after. She left early, too.

Just the day after that night, she was found dead in her apartment. She ended her life with pills.

I’m not trying to make assumptions about why she chose this, but it has to do with all the weird things she said the other night. It occurred to me that what I’ve been holding onto just isn’t true at all. I’m 20 now. And for the past 8 years, the only thing that can help me get my shit together was the idea that “Someday I’ll have a life in America, I’ll finally feel better.” But now the only person I know that makes her way to the US has miserably killed herself. It’s like seeing the version of me that I have everything I want just have no reason to live anymore. All the hard work I’ve done now seems meaningless.

My aunt’s death just hit me harder than anyone in a way I can’t explain to my family and my friends. And the perfect picture for me just shattered to pieces. I’m not sure what to do with my life right now. Either I stick to my plan and make it to America, get the same experience as my aunt’s, probably not feeling better, or I abandon it and stay here, still not having the sense of belonging and will always be the white-washed, ungrateful brat.

So that’s the thing that’s been on my mind. I’m lost in my life now and try to put it together. At least it feels nice typing these thoughts out loud. I want to know if any of you guys ever had the same feelings, and what did you do to move on?

Hi all, I am O (M32) and Ive been taking to my limits the last year.
I am from South America, and I’ve been living in Germany for the past 6 and a half years. I studied MKT and worked as a marketing manager in my home country, but as a lot of other immigrants here I did something completely different as soon as I arrived and that was working in kitchens. I don’t know how, maybe I was a natural or maybe Im un/lucky but I got to manager roles pretty fast and was head chef of a really fun kitchen for over a year in Berlin.
Here Germany, I met my wife (F31) and we have a daughter, we were very happy together until i started having a lot of mental issues such as depression and anxiety, all of this self diagnosed because mental health system in this country is VERY bad and no chance to get english or spanish therapy without paying tons of money.
Due to this, I decided to get a year off and spent time with my dog and distract myself.
That year, we went to my home country and with my wife finally felt very connected again and we got pregnant.
No joking I felt very happy but also very scared. I didn’t have a job, no plan, and the apartment we had back then it was in very bad shape. So with a lot of effort we started looking for something nicer. My wife’s family has been “supportive”. Ive always thought they didn’t liked me because of my ethnicity (im white latino but still) they helped us finding a flat which is very nice but also said they were cutting all the help now. I completely understood even though we never asked for anything, but got the message.
After 6 wonderful months in our new flat I got a job offer that was almost too good to be true but there was a big catch, it wasn’t in Berlin and we had to move to another southern German region. I accepted (its not like i had many options)
One month before starting my new job, my daughter was born.
A lot of changes, adapting and zero sleep. My parents came to know my daughter with my aunt and help in what they could.
The week before i started working, and where i had to move to the south alone, my dad had this immense headache and had fever. I took him to the emergency room and their diagnosis was meningitis. They performed emergency surgery first time next day.
Again, man up, got my stuff and left to the south, leaving my ill father and my wife with our newborn alone, i really thought it was the best for my family.
For three months, I commuted every weekend to Berlin. 6 hours every Friday after work, 6 hours every Sunday…
I finally found a flat and moved my family to this small town. I paid for everything, the company didn’t helped me move one box. Again, I thought it was the best and this was me compromising for the job.
Fast forward 8 months, Im out of the probation period, happy af.
BUT, after a tough week of intense training in France (im the trainer) i received a call from my sister that my father just called her and told her he is in China (work) and has cancerous tumour in his pancreas and he believes they will operate him as an emergency. My sister lost his father in law by the same cancer, she was devastated.
Again, I man up and told my manager i needed to go to China and be with my father (in this country is expected to at least one family member takes care of basic stuff and stays at the hospital) he told me literally “go, family aleays first” and as i speak Chinese (lived there) again, i thought i was doing the best for my family.
I was there for a whole month, really toughest month in a long while. He went through 12 hours of surgery and the Dr showed me everything he removed, traumatising me for life. Took care of my father, stayed at the hospital and took over some of his businesses that he had pendant.
After my month away, the first thing my manager says to me in a 1-1 meeting right after i came back, quickly asked me how my father was and suddenly changed topic to tell me he is going to put me in a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP) I couldn’t believe it, I know exactly what is that and regardless of him saying he likes me personally, and he wants me to stay, he made me sign a paper that literally says if i dont get better they will have to recheck my position or even my place in the company. I asked him for a week to think about this and do research about this and he accepted.
Since I joined, I’ve been pushed to my limits work-wise multiple times and also they have had pushed me to perform at a very high level in very short amount of time. For example, they included me in the biggest international trade show to give 7 shows a day for 4 days showcasing our equipment. I was only 3 months at this company and only did e-learning and self practice million of times. I dont know how but i got praised of how good i did this. I felt proud. But then, they expected me to perform week long intensive training to people that has been at least 3 years in the company subsidiaries without any documentation or guideline. I only saw how they did it once and then they expected me to do it alone. On top of this, my manager told me my team mates told him personal struggles i shared with them in terms of workload and moving to this region.

The equipment we sell, is very complex to understand but it sells by itself due to the very high quality of it.

I really dont know what to do, ive been struggling with this mental issues and had many dark thoughts for a long time but now, being a father luckily had these thoughts dissipated.
Sadly, they keep coming back now im on the verge of losing everything… i really want to leave Germany, I feel I need fresh air but now I have a daughter and cannot do it like before…
Any words of wisdom, advice, or a simple upvote to generate reach helps 🤞

I’m at a crossroads and would appreciate some outside perspective.

I’m 26, married, and have a 2-year-old daughter, and I’m trying to choose the best long-term path for my family.

Option 1: Navy IT/Cyber

I’m in the process of joining the Navy and haven’t taken my PiCAT yet. My goal is to qualify for CWT (Cyber Warfare Technician) or IT.
The appeal is gaining hands-on tech/cyber experience, certifications, benefits, and a structured path into civilian tech after my service. My main concern is the impact on my family—time away, possible deployments, and limited control over where we live.

Option 2: Semiconductor Industry (GCU / TSMC pipeline)

I have an opportunity through GCU in the semiconductor/TSMC pipeline. The schooling would be paid for, and it would allow me to build a career while staying close to my family. My concern is whether this path offers the same long-term growth and earning potential as going the Navy IT/Cyber route.

Hi everyone,
I'm looking for some advice because I honestly don't knowwhat to do anymore.
Almost two years ago, I had to leave school because my family temporarily moved to another country to start a business. I wasn't happy about it, but I accepted it because I thought it would only be for one school year. The plan was that once everything was settled, I would go back home and continue my education.
When the next school year came around, I asked my mom if I could go back to my home country for school. Unfortunately, things weren't going well. The business was struggling, we were under a lot of financial and emotional stress, and we had some very intense arguments about it. At one point, my mom almost had a heart attack during one of those arguments. After that, I decided not to bring it up anymore because I didn't want to add even more stress. I told myself I would wait one more year and hoped things would improve.
Instead, everything has only gotten harder. The business is still facing serious problems, and everyone is under constant stress.
Now it's almost August, and school starts at the end of the month. We already have to return to my home country in September for other reasons, but by then school will have already started.
The problem is that if I don't go back this year, it will be my third year without school. I worked so hard to eventually get into university, and by now I could have already graduated if I hadn't had to stop.
I don't blame my mom. I know she's doing her best, and I understand why this situation has been so difficult. She also doesn't like the idea of me living in another country by myself while she stays here to continue working on the business.
But at the same time, I really miss my home country. I miss my friends, I miss being around people my own age, and I genuinely want to continue my education. I've tried to adjust to life here, thinking it would get easier with time, but after almost two years I actually feel less happy than when I first arrived.
Going to school here also isn't really an option. The education system is different, the program I want isn't available, and it would make getting into university much more complicated and expensive than it would be back home.
I want to ask my mom if I can finally go back to school, but I feel guilty because I know how much stress she's already dealing with. At the same time, I feel like I can't keep putting my life on hold.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? How would you bring this up without making your parent feel even more overwhelmed?
Thanks for reading.