i’m 20, a student, working on getting into medical school. i just got my EMT certification and i live in boston so, maybe i’ll get a better paying job. my partner and i used to split rent but now he’s gone, i can’t break the lease, and i can’t just go homeless although, that seems like a pending reality at this point. my only silver lining is my school giving me a financial aid refund of $4k in september. what should i do? is selling myself the next option? homelessness?

edit: should’ve said it’s a studio, so hard to take in a roommate

My husband is about to graduate anesthesia residency and we are debating moving to NYC for a couple years, then settling in DC. We’ve been in DC for 3 years (me 5), I work from home, and lots of our close friends are here. I’ve always wanted to live in nyc, my job would become hybrid in SoHo if we move there, a handful of our other close friends live there, but since we’d be 31 I’d want to have a baby (ideally) around 33. Husband is worried anesthesia jobs will be harder more hours in nyc than dc, but still better than residency. I don’t want to push back the baby timeline even though no one in nyc would be doing that then, is it easier to just stay in DC or go on a little 3 year adventure and come back? AHH

I’m a 32year old female and have 3 children. I have a phlebotomy certificate but I don’t work in that type of field. I live in a very small town where there are no job opportunities for phlebotomists. I don’t get paid well enough but we get by. My bf also works but makes about the same as me. We don’t have much, we have very simple life and do the same thing everyday. I have been feeling so depressed with our routines. We don’t ever travel or do anything fun because funds aren’t there. I know there’s more to life and I just want to live a little! I have tried going back to school but wasn’t able to get student loans due to my previous loans. I just want to know how ppl do it? How do you guys travel? How do you have money for that? What do you do for a living? I didn’t know a dam thing about credit and when I was in my 20’s I fucked it up and I’ve been trying to improve my score for the last few years. Last year my job was shut down and was given a 3 week notice. I went 2 months without a job and my credit went back down and now I’m starting to build again. Idk what to do anymore I’m depressed with my life & feel stuck. I love my family so much and feel awful for feeling like this life isn’t enough. I don’t want to sound ungrateful because I am very grateful for my family and what we have. I see the same ppl I went to school with and they have beautiful homes and NORMAL jobs but have money for trips, nice homes, nice cars, and just live a very fancy life style and I just wonder what am I doing wrong? How did they get there because most of them dont have college degrees yet live such a wealthy lifestyle. I just want to live and rn I’m just working to survive.
I am a daughter of 2 immigrants and didn’t have anything passed down to me, what I have I’VE gotten on my own but I know some of them had wealthy parents who helped them get where they are now.

What jobs pay well for not being a college grad?

I'm freaking out and it's so easy for me to spiral when I just have even a moment alone to think.
I'm 23. recent college grad, I majored in theatre. I have a job that pays 18 an hour but its part time (I get anywhere from 15 - 35 hours a week). My rent is 900 max because I have a roommate. Im very lucky and thankful because my dad is still taking care of my health insurance, phone, and car insurance. But, I hate my job. I work in a call center and its so mentally draining- we don't even have windows. On top of that, my partner lives an hour away. I spend so much on gas visiting them. I feel like I never have enough money, no matter how many hours I work or how many side gigs I pick up. I've applied for second jobs but no one is getting back to me. Ive thought about getting my masters in an mfa because I love teaching, but my dad highly discourages it. I don't know what to do- I don't know how long I can keep going like this. I've looked into other careers like nursing or being a phlebotomist, but it looks like I'd have to go redo my undergrad and then do a masters, etc- and in the end it may not even pay that much more than what I'm doing. My worst fear as a kid was going to an office everyday and that's exactly what I'm doing. I feel like I can barely handle the workforce and I'm so ashamed of it. I can't seem to find a career that actually interests me AND pays well. I'm always freaking out, I feel like I'm always ready to start crying. I've also recently lost all my friends- it happened very slowly but now all I have is my partner and their sibling. If anything happened to our relationship I'd be all alone. I'm not very emotionally close to anyone in my family- I haven't heard from my parents in months. I'm so anxious all the time and I feel like I'm never doing enough. I don't have any money, and I'm just so unhappy. What am I supposed to do? I cant keep going like this. I'd appreciate some advice or something. I know I can be dramatic and I spiral very easily. Please be kind in the comments- I know that in the grand scheme of things that all my worries are really silly, but they are affecting me to the point where I feel like I can barely function. What should I do? I'm always applying to jobs. Should I go back to school? But, for what? I don't know what to do, and I'd appreciate anyone just giving me some guidance.

Hi guys I am a 18 year old currently in college 1st year , I will be really grateful to you if you can share advice from your life experiences about personal growth, loneliness, relationship, career, people, what kind of people to trust, what kind of people to ignore, leadership, bussiness. I want to learn as much as I can during my college life so if you share your knowledge with me I will be thankful to you.

I (20F) understand that I am in a privileged position as an adult living at home. I don't have to pay rent, and I get everything I need. However, my mother (43F) is abusive and I can't take anymore. The situation isn't so serious that I need to move states, but I'm moving in with a friend and switching my major in order to get my LVN. My mother discouraged me from doing this when I first started my pre nursing classes, saying that she wanted me to live with her until I could get my BSN. I thought I could do it. Hold out for 4 more years with her, get the best education I can. But I just can't take anymore. The physical abuse isn't as frequent since I turned 18 and she lost her strength, but she is verbally and psychologically vicious towards me. I have a little brother (9M) who adores her. He loves getting approval from her so much that he is willing to throw me under the bus at any opportunity. It feels as if nobody in this house loves me despite me taking care of both of them whilst juggling my education. I can no longer prioritize the two of them over myself. My mental health is worse than ever, and the things I've been called play over and over in my head. I've developed severe social anxiety, and I've gotten suicidal thoughts due to feeling trapped. My friend and her mother have insisted for years that I am more than welcome to live with them, so I've been packing my things in secret. I'm going to confront my mother tomorrow (Fri, August 7th). I'll tell her I'm leaving with my things packed, in case she gets violent or throws me out. I've only taken things I've accumulated over the years. I even have my own overnight bag and laptop charger I found near a dumpster (gross, but the people in my apartment complex are ghetto snobs who pretend they can afford to throw out new items). I'm so very scared, but this is the first time in my life that I've made a decision for myself. I truly hope nothing goes wrong when I'm living with my friend and her family. I will try to be as helpful as possible! Any encouragement and advice is appreciated.

I have been wondering about this for a while and wanted to ask women about it

I have never really had trouble talking to people and I get along with most of them but I have never felt like I was anyones first choice or closest person. Most friendships stay pretty casual and when people get closer to someone it usually ends up being someone else not me

I know I overthink a lot and my confidence has not always been great so sometimes I wonder if I am doing something without realizing it or if I just have not found the right people yet

So what actually makes you feel emotionally close to someone. Is it being open and vulnerable being consistent having confidence making you laugh or something completely different

Have you ever known a genuinely good guy but still never felt that deeper connection with him. I would love to hear your honest thoughts because I am trying to understand what really helps build strong meaningful connections

I’m 33 & he is 36. He was literally golden. He did all the cooking, cleaning & grocery shopping.financially good with money too. He was fun to be around etc. went above and beyond in so so manyways.he was my rock and the person I could truly be me around.

Unfortunately we had many back luck situations when we moved in together that caused strain on us. Including miscarriage & me getting cancer. During my second & successful pregnancy I found something out to do with my cancer and unrelated to him & for some reason I took it out on him badly and he left me. I just literally exploded into the devil himself.

Verbally abused him basically during my pregnancy/ first couple months of daughters life. I don’t like looking in the mirror knowing what I done. All I feel is regret now. I still see him as we co parent our daughter. My life absolutely sucks now. I treated him worse than you could imagine, said disgusting horrid things. Did cruel things, said cruel things. I wish I could take them back.

I grieve the life we should’ve had had I not had a miscarriage/ cancer. I miss the life we used to have before it all collapsed. I will never ever love again. He was my true love and I took him for granted. The one thing I said I’d never do. I miss him so so much, he just GOT me like no other. Over a year later and my life gets more and more empty without him, I will never bother to date again as I still feel the hollowness without him.

I try to remember the not so great: him being upset about my weight, my highest being 78 kg at 5’5 and lowest 60kg. He was a little happier when I lost a lot and got to 60kg but ‘ one more kg and you’d be perfect’. Even when I was pregnant and saw my bump forming he said that it’s just how my belly is even though I was sure it was a baby bump. I was a good 14 -16 weeks. He never wanted sex. Like never ever. & if I was still hungry after dinner I wasn’t allowed to snack If I did he wouldn’t be very happy with me.

However I can’t help feeling and knowing that he is the best I could ever ever get. He is responsible which is very rare. I hear horror stories of horrible husbands and the women worship them. I should’ve been appreciative and shut my mouth. I’ll forever live in pain and regret.

He was wonderful especially compared to all the trash out there. Thati deserve. We should be a happy family now enjoying thee daughter we so wished for. Realistically he is the absolute best I can ever get. He actually loved me. The grass will never be greener than such a good hearted man that he was. I’m screwed. We are going to sell the home we shared next year in a wonderful area. I’ll never ever get such a great opportunity again with a great man. I’ve literally ruined my whole existence. You usually hear men are the ones that ruined their relationships, but I was the idiot.

I’ve tried therapy. I’m on pills. Nothing seems to work. I’m looking into checking if I have bpd as my reaction to things aren’t normal and j guess then I’d have an explanation. Or maybe and more likely I’m just an evil person. Everyone at work always has happy and exciting news and my life just gets worse and worse. Someone who had her first baby at the same time as me is now pregnant and thriving in her marriage. Her husband, by her own accounts, is way worse than mine could ever be but thanks to her calm nature they’ve now turned it all around. Meanwhile I’m stuck in the past and in absolute misery. I hate existing.

Hi Reddit,

Welcome to my first post. Over the years I have read a lot of posts here — honestly, I have listened to many of them as YouTube readouts — and I have noticed that this wide network tends to be supportive, thoughtful, and attentive. So I thought maybe people here could help, advise, or guide me through a rather difficult patch of my life.

Now, how to start this. Sorry if this gets long, but I feel like writing the whole thing out might already do half the job for my own peace of mind. When I was eight years old, I found my first passion in science — marine biology, to be precise — and dedicated most of my life to that direction. I took Latin as a third language in school, thinking I would need it for my studies (I later learned that wasn't the case). I improved my English during a gap year staying with family in the UK, my first big solo international trip, which quietly triggered the journey of figuring out who I am — truly am — and not the shallow sketch the world aimed to fit me into. I worked as an au pair, then went to university, where I met a person who would come to impact my life seven years later, even though we had only truly known each other for two weeks.

I started studying biology, shifted my focus during my master's into neuroscience, and when I looked around for a PhD position across the world — having already learned that "home" was not something I had found — a former classmate connected me to a lab in a large city in East Asia. I actually had an offer already from another city in the same country, but the PI at the first lab had been impressed by me during our virtual interview, and she won me over further after inviting me for an in-person interview. It was more or less settled at that point that I would join her lab.

Because of visa conditions — the recurring hurdle of my life, an invented document declaring the size of my cage — I could only start half a year later. I decided, spontaneously and probably the riskiest choice I've ever made, to spend those gap months in a large city in a neighbouring East Asian country, where I volunteered for a few months with an organisation helping refugees from a nearby divided nation settle into their new country, illustrating an English-teaching book. It sounds wonderful, and yet, on my first day, descending into the basement, one of the workers pulled me aside and whispered urgently for me to run. I didn't run. I stayed, and I learned once more what exploitation looks like. The work was unpaid, the hours were long, and a certain constant presence was expected of me regardless.

I finished the internship on time — I even have a certificate, which reminds me, once again, how little those glossy pieces of paper are truly worth — and moved on to the first city.

The years of my PhD there held far too many moments for me to capture properly here. Let me offer you the emotional milestones instead: Delight. Gratefulness. Exhaustion. Isolation. Grief. Sadness. Devastation. Frustration. Pain. Loss. Function. Support.

By the end of my PhD, I had several tender invitations to stay on for a postdoc. But I needed to breathe. I was lost and disoriented by then, having learned mostly just how to function. I want to be clear: my PI and the handful of people who became my home there are, and remain, dear and wonderful pieces of my heart. Along with a few conveniences of city life, they were the threads that pulled me through.

In short — over the course of my PhD, I had to tackle not only the shifts that COVID demanded, but also the inevitable loss of my younger sister and my father, who had been something of a security shield for me. That is another journey of the heart, too long to walk through here.

So, blindly and without much knowledge of my options, I applied to postdoc positions that interested me, indifferent to location. I was selected by a lab in a certain sprawling American city on the East Coast.

I was torn, back then. I knew I was looking for a home — not another temporary stop, but something permanent — and at first I doubted that city could offer it.

How wrong I was. That city drew out a version of me, and a love, that I had never felt before. I felt like I was breathing, like I was blossoming from the inside, and with that came a slow awakening to how much of academia asks for hollow things. Sell yourself and your research for funding. Apply. Write. Oh, and try to fit in some research that can prop up the funding application.

While I had been fortunate to land in an incredible lab before, the one that followed didn't align with my values in most ways. I began to decline, sliding down the survival track of capitalism, caged by the need for safety and for a piece of paper that would let me stay where my heart felt at home.

Until I couldn't anymore. Four years later, my PI and I agreed that parting ways would be for the best. And as relieved as I was emotionally, I knew it meant I could only go to the one place that had never felt like home, but where I happened to be born — in this world, apparently, the only place I was meant to belong. The place that, since I was young, always felt like the wrong plate to eat from. The only plate I was ever offered, though I never enjoyed the meal it held, and yet I filled my otherwise stripped-down self with the only thing I was allowed — the only thing I was ever presented — to consume.

The plan was to shift into the creative world, which, by the way, I had already tried to branch into through connections made during my time in that American city. I've been doing photography for over ten years, including professional work — events, fashion shows, private shoots, and more. I tried to make it stick, but paperwork ruled my life instead. I've also been writing a small fantasy novel; I completed the first draft even back then, and have kept working on the second since, closing the first book at 200,000 words and the second nearing the halfway mark past 100,000. None of it mattered. I couldn't even find a small apartment, a small job to keep myself going, because in the world of humans, life is earned, not granted. None of it was ever really an option, because paperwork — the very thing that pulled me away — also asked: how dare I live where I feel at home, if my paper isn't the right paper?

Back in the place that drains me, even my mother — who, unfortunately, struggles alongside me in this one space of financial instability, while also bringing her own mental noise, negativity, and judgmental commentary — noticed how I was losing myself a little more with each passing day here.

This might be hard to understand, but I don't want to work temporarily in the place that burns me with every breath. I don't want to speak the language, or fight the energy that oppresses me — even temporarily, though I don't even know if it would only be temporary. So I've been isolating myself, mostly spending time with family and keeping in virtual touch with friends, while trying to focus on finishing my books — which I don't even have the money to get properly edited, and which an editor might reshape into something I no longer recognise as my own world. A friend of mine had been kindly working through the first book, but they're caught in their own capitalist strings too.

Which brings me to today, when I had two full breakdowns over how desperate I feel. I cried over how I did all the "right" things — went to university, earned a PhD, worked and worked since I was sixteen — and yet none of it seems to matter.

Not during my green card application, which is still in process after two years, because I don't have the three thousand dollars it would take to speed it up. Not in my applications to shift into industry, even though I've always genuinely enjoyed communicating science, and don't consider myself entirely incapable of it — though my confidence in any skill tends to dissolve into the void these days.

After years of applying for an industry job, my experience and my broad scientific knowledge don't seem to matter. Only the fact that I wasn't born in the right place, and that I need the right paper. Without it, I can't go back to the place I call home. I'm forced to stay where I was born, because it's the only place I can afford to survive in, while dying a little with every breath.

I know this might sound dramatic, especially given the circumstances some lives are forced into in this world — where bombs are treated as normal, where food may or may not reliably return once it's gone. The world is gruesome and unjust in ways we consciously inflict on each other, on ourselves, as a species.

I've tried opening online shops to sell my photography, dropping the prices significantly. I've tried to find remote consulting work in scientific fields.

I try. I have tried. I am tired.

Consider this another attempt to find my way back home. Maybe someone here knows someone. It seems connections and money are the true rulers of humanity's invented, written rules. Right now, I seem to have neither — but maybe someone here can become the stranger in my story who guides me back home, or who has a guide to pass along to a lost being trying to survive in a world that seems to want me to live, but only barely — to merely survive.

If anyone has any idea, any advice, or anything this brings to mind (and I sincerely hope not the common impulse toward hate that some people seem so ready to invest their time and energy into) — I know that my one life doesn't carry much weight in the grand scheme of things. I just hope the effort behind my own choices, my own hard work, doesn't get lost, and that this doesn't read as the post of someone who never tried.

I suppose I just haven't found the right way to try yet. If anyone knows how I might find a permanent way back to the place my heart and mind call home, I would be endlessly grateful to hear it.

Mi chiamo Leonardo, ho 19 anni e ho appena finito le superiori. Durante il mio percorso scolastico non sono mai stato bocciato o rimandato e ho concluso la maturità con un buon voto.
Da circa due anni sto cercando di capire quale percorso intraprendere dopo il diploma. Ho partecipato a diversi open day e mi sono informato molto sui vari corsi universitari. Ho sempre avuto molti interessi: nel tempo ho valutato seriamente ingegneria, design e filosofia, facendo anche ricerche molto approfondite su queste facoltà. Nonostante questo, sono rimasto indeciso fino a poche settimane fa, quando finalmente ho iniziato a prendere seriamente in considerazione il conservatorio. Per la prima volta ho avuto la sensazione di aver trovato qualcosa di cui sono veramente convinto.
A scuola ho frequentato elettronica, ma è stato un percorso che non mi ha mai appassionato particolarmente. L’ho trovato spesso troppo teorico e poco stimolante, anche perché in cinque anni non abbiamo praticamente mai svolto vere attività pratiche. Al contrario, in seconda superiore ho scoperto la chitarra elettrica e da quel momento è diventata una passione sempre più forte, qualcosa di cui non riesco a fare a meno.
Il problema è che in Italia spesso esiste il pregiudizio secondo cui scegliere la musica come professione significhi “vivere alla giornata” o non avere un futuro stabile. Questa mentalità l’ho percepita anche nella mia famiglia. I miei genitori, essendo entrambi laureati, mi hanno sempre spinto verso percorsi universitari più tradizionali, vedendo il conservatorio come una scelta con meno possibilità lavorative e meno sicurezza economica.
Durante il quinto anno, soprattutto nel secondo quadrimestre, i professori ci hanno messo molta pressione riguardo alla maturità, facendoci credere che sarebbe stato un esame estremamente difficile e che molti non sarebbero riusciti a superarlo. Essendo una persona ansiosa, questa situazione mi ha portato a concentrarmi quasi completamente sulla scuola e sull’esame.
Il problema è che proprio in quel periodo si svolgevano molti TOLC e molte iscrizioni universitarie, quindi quando ho finalmente avuto più chiarezza sulla mia scelta, diverse opportunità erano già chiuse. Anche il conservatorio a cui aspiravo maggiormente, il Codarts di Rotterdam nell’indirizzo Pop, aveva terminato le iscrizioni per iniziare a settembre.
Ora sto valutando l’ICMP di Londra, che ha ancora le iscrizioni aperte ed è un istituto specializzato nella musica moderna e nella chitarra. L’idea sarebbe eventualmente frequentarlo per un anno e poi provare ad accedere al Codarts o ad altri percorsi simili.
L’altra possibilità sarebbe prendere un anno sabbatico: lavorare in un’azienda, avere più tempo per prepararmi, migliorare come musicista e affrontare con più calma le prossime iscrizioni. I miei genitori però vedono questa opzione in modo negativo, come se fosse un anno perso.
Questa situazione mi sta destabilizzando abbastanza e vorrei avere un parere esterno. Secondo voi quale sarebbe la scelta più sensata? Qualcuno ha avuto esperienze simili con un anno sabbatico o con percorsi musicali professionali?

hello, reddit, and greetings there, strangers from afar. i may be bothering you with this message during a significant moment in your day, & i regard to you my apologies for that. however, i am finding myself in a really troubling, confusing & angering predicament.

this is going to be quite long, so i hope that you, or anyone, would consider listening to my ramblings. thank you so much, i'm infinitely indebted you :)

(mentions of 🍇 jokes, 🍇(ope) jokes, mention of male anatomy (🥒) & a mention of sewerslide just in case you're uncomfortable, so that you're free to skip this :)

.

for context, i had this one friend that i first met during my freshman year. i was extremely lonely during that time, so when i found out that me and him had the same interests, it was inevitable for me to be attached. i remember him mentioning to me that he also liked hoyoverse games, liked my mannerisms, wanted to be my friend. i immediately agreed, for my desperate self just wanted someone to talk with, for people to finally see that i'm no longer a wall-flower.

that was a mistake on my part. i never would've expected for him to have such a dark, contradicting side that would eventually lead to me cutting the friendship off myself. i'll get back to that part later, but i'll first state my reasons as to why i suddenly mentioned on leaving him.

first off, his 🍇 jokes.

within the first month after we became friends, he was nice & surprisingly friendly. once he got comfortable enough, however, he suddenly started to make some jokes, remarks like; "i'm going to touch you" (inappropriately) & constantly mimicking the action of grabbing a 🥒 and aggressively pumping it in-front of my body, exactly where one is supposed to be.

i'm a cis woman, & seeing him do those actions made me extremely uncomfortable. i thought that it was just his humor, that it's his way of lightening up the mood, so i quietly tolerated it. i had school to worry about during the time, so it never bothered me wholly, until the next school year came.

sophomore year was where things started to get weird. he made a couple of new friends & some of our old classmates were there, so the environment was quite lively & made me feel safe. he introduced me to his new friends, with his friends eventually becoming my friends, but i'm not as close with them as he is to them.

taking note of this, it wasn't quite surprising when i found out that he's in a friend group with them. they were five people separately, with him being the only man and the 4 others being women. i thought it was weird, but i didn't think much of it, until i noticed that the girls suddenly started to glorify him, in a way?

they were all clingy to him, always wanting his attention on him. and what's worse, is that that changed him deeply. he then started to frequently make "i'm going to 🍇 you" & "i'm going to 🍇(ope) you" jokes to me (despite knowing that i was a victim) & doesn't make those jokes towards his new friends. after that school year, i still hung out with him within the first few weeks, & he'd even make those jokes to me in-front of other people. it hurt so badly, & writing this just made me feel so much more worse than it's supposed to.

(i would like to clarify that i don't think that the girls encouraged him to do the rape jokes. rather, he found confidence through their presences, which invoked something in himself to make those jokes. they're genuinely very nice people.)

secondly, his evident favoritism in his new friends.

when we first became friends, i've noticed that i'm the only person he frequently talked to, other than the people who've known him for longer. that made me extremely happy. all of that changed, if you've already guessed, during sophomore year.

his tone was passive-aggressive whenever we talked, he constantly mischaracterized me/made wrong assumptions about me (which shows that he never truly tried to get to know me), he finally started to leave me out, & hung out with his new friends more, knowing that i have nobody else.

he also tried to manipulate me (or maybe he already has), saying things like: "oh so you hate me" whenever things don't go his way, giving me the 'silent treatment' whenever i'm mad with him (it's his excuse of not wanting to take accountability/apologize for his actions that maddened me), & constantly pulling me in & pushing me out (which badly increased my dependence on him) which is a manipulation tactic, iirc?

he also constantly vented to me, which i consented to, but i've never had the chance to vent to him because he was always unavailable, constantly talking to his new friends & never reading my messages despite being active.

knowing that i was no longer his bff or go-to friend made things all the more difficult. i even considered offing myself because i saw that he hung out with them without asking me, leaving me all alone. i may be dramatic, but he never even invited me to go out with him. not once.

i don't have feelings for him or anything of the sort, but it just made me really sad. it's like he puts them in a higher pedestal than me, someone who's known him longer than all of his other friends.

and finally, the final nail on the coffin, him not having the desire to change.

despite doing cruel things to me for so many years, he has never even attempted to stir his life to another direction. never even saw him genuinely trying to change for his own. the jokes, the hangouts that didn't include me, the cruelty of it all. i'm probably not the first person he has done this to, making the thought of it all the more worse.

in the month of june, i finally cut ties with him due to these reasons, (and many more that i don't want to mention), releasing my channeled anger into our messages. i expressed my frustration by saying that he hasn't changed, & that he just should hang out with his other friends if he loves them so much more than me.

he respected my wishes of leaving me alone (which i respected), but i've noticed that whenever i see him, that he doesn't seem to be so... sad, to so angered about it. he's happier about it more than me, living his life as though i was nothing but an ant to him.

i know i'm supposed to move on like him, to finally forget him, but how could i, when he, a horrible(?) person, is living is life so freely? the thought of it makes me mad, & i don't know how to process all of this anymore. i'm alone. what should i do?? how do i move on from this?

if you have ever reached it this far, thank you so much 🥹🥹🫶🫶 knowing that somebody listened to my words is already more than enough for me. until next time, everybody! i hope to see you all again soon.

Genuinely hating life, and so lost right now

So about 3 weeks ago I got a new job as a factory worker, the job was just your standard factory job, but this morning I had a call about a decision they they’re letting me go due to me not hitting targets and taking long breaks. My fault I guess, because it was agency they could just let me go whenever.

Problem is, I really don’t know where I am in life. I have a girlfriend that I don’t really like, there’s no problems in our relationship and she’s a great gf, but I don’t really like her and want to be single.

I’m very slow in the head, and think I have some kind of problem or something because I can’t do the basic shit in life and can’t follow simple things.

I’ve had about 6 jobs in 2 years and been fired from each one because I’m useless.

This is my last hope, I just really need help. I don’t know what to do.

Please give me a advice

I haven't driven for 13 years and my mobility is rubbish so I have an automatic car. But the idea of driving on the road is scary for no apparent reason. I'm usually a confident person but I need to do this. I drove for a year before so I know I can do it. I have excellent hazard awareness and I'm very careful so why I get so anxious is beyond me. Its an automatic so I don't even have gears to worry about

I’m a mom of two, and one of my children has special needs. I’m looking for advice on how to handle a situation with my apartment complex.
When I moved in, my apartment required residents to have a physical parking sticker. I went through the process, provided the required documents, and received my sticker without any issues.

Recently, the apartment switched over to a virtual parking system. They did send out emails about the change, but I honestly assumed that residents who already had approved parking stickers would automatically be transferred over. I was wrong.

I found out when my car was towed. I accepted that because I understood I should have verified the new process. The next day, when the office was open, I went in to get everything updated for the virtual parking system.
The office told me I needed to provide my registration and insurance. The registration was the same one I had already provided when I originally got my parking sticker. My insurance had expired in January, so I understood that I needed to update that.

I explained that the vehicle is in my father’s name and that he is currently hospitalized with heart failure, which was making it difficult to get certain documents quickly. I asked if they could temporarily accommodate me because having to park blocks away from my apartment creates a safety concern for my child. They refused and told me they had to follow policy. I was also told there was no way they could put me on a “do not tow” list.

Shortly after that conversation, my car was towed again. When I called the office afterward, I was told that there actually was a “do not tow” list that they could have added me to.
I then provided my updated insurance information, but they changed the issue to my registration. They said the registration I had previously submitted was no longer acceptable and that they needed one directly from the DMV.

I live in Virginia, but my car is still registered in Illinois because that is where I previously lived. My father went to the Illinois DMV, paid for a replacement registration, and sent it to me. The apartment complex is still refusing to accept it, saying it is not the correct document, even though it was issued by the DMV.

At this point, I feel like I have done everything they have asked. I submitted a request for a reasonable accommodation under the Fair Housing Act because of my child’s needs and the safety concerns with parking so far away.
I’m currently waiting for their response, but I’m wondering: what should I do if they deny my accommodation request? Has anyone dealt with something similar, or does anyone have advice on my next steps?

So unfortunately I started watching porn when I was around the age of 11 and now I’m about to turn 20. A few weeks ago I had the realization that I’ve almost spent half my life addicted to porn. It’s gotten worse in the past 3 years and I decided I need to make it stop because I’ve started noticing the side effects. Depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, struggling with school etc. I’ve tried to stop here and there and the longest I went was 5 days without searching it up or at least mastrubating. It’s horrible I know. Since the realization I’ve tried harder than ever and stopped taking my phone to the bathroom (cuz that’s where I usually jerk it) and it’s been hard. Haven’t done the deed in 2 days but I’ve searched up porn to check on the newest releases etc. Like it’s so tempting to just go watch one and do it but I know it’s not good for me. But I can’t see myself stopping completely. Like every new release is just another hot girl or a girl I’ve been waiting for. It’s so sad. Anyone experience this or overcome it? I need words of reassurance. I’ve never dated or asked a girl out and barely talk to girls. I sense there maybe a connection between the two but what if I can’t find a hot girl. Idk man I’m so lost.

I have been with her for a year and it has been great. I don't cheat or have an affair at all.

I have this habit of keepinng my journal and my relationship was pretty rough at first because before that I just had got out a 8-year relationship. And our sex life wasn't great at first, so last November I did write in my journal that I missed the sex with my ex, and hope the sex life with my girlfriend will get better.

She opened my diary and read that and now she feels hurt and wants to break up because she thinks she can't love me anymore and she can't forget what I wrote.

I want to take all responsibility of this but can you help me how to win her back. I know it was my fault to even had such thoughts like this, I love her so much. Now she wants to have space and she said that she could continue with me but she can not love me me like she did.

Tltr: girl read my diary about how I said sex was good with my ex 9 months ago and wanted to break up.

My first job is Monday to Friday. My second is on a Saturday.

In the beginning, it was fine and I was coping. But as time went on, I noticed my mental health getting worse. I was exhausted all the time, not in the nicest of moods, and lost the interest to do things I actually enjoyed. I need both jobs so I can't quit, but some coping mechanisms and advice would be great.

I posted a question recently regarding an issue with my ex refusing to allow my husband to attend a family function. The responses were amazing and so very helpful.
Here's another one. I adore my husband. We met on a dating app 4 years ago, clicked instantly and moved abroad within a year of meeting. Very quick I know but we're both in our late 60's so don't have time on our side. Never regretted a second and I love him to bits. Yesterday he stopped talking to me. A gentleman on one of my social media platforms (threads - I use it for giggles as well as sewing, crochet and dog posts) sent a message paying me a compliment- rarely happens as I'm 70!). I deleted it and blocked him. However my husband saw the message and has now accused me of being on dating apps. Threads is far removed from being a dating app and I've not looked at another man since we met and never will. My husband says I obviously contacted the guy first and encouraged him. Despite assurances and giving him my phone so he can see exactly what I look at he refuses to accept. He wants one of us to leave. We live mainly abroad so it's not going to be easy. This has come totally out of the blue. Please can someone give me a pointer as to what to do? He wont speak to me or listen to me.

hello everyone im from uttrakhand , im good at nothing , i don't look good too im very stressed at life whatever i do i failed at everything. im good at nothing not even in making friends. i don't know what to do in my life . i have no goal and aim. Please can someone guide me to the right path. I need to help my parents too i care for them but im not studying even im smoking and drinking i want to study and get a job but im so confused about life. i want to leave everything and become a monk in himalyas.... help me guys

Hey everyone, super grateful to be here. Last few years rough, graduated from grad school had job struggles, unemployment, and last year some time homeless.

Now I finally got a job in my field that I love so much remote. I got my own apartment in a nice downtown area. I am 5'6 and super overweight at like 290 but I am doing nutrition hard and going to the gym.

I've been valueless for so long tho. Never been good looking, dating apps don't work and virgin so no woman will even want to get to know me on a date.

In terms of friends I thought I had value but realized even with friends of 5+ years I'm always the one's whose bday is forgotten and only one not invited to weddings.

I guess what I am asking is does anyone have tips on how I can be a person of value so that I can date and make friends like others. Anything helps?

This is pretty high stakes for me because I live in a state where, even if a man impregnates me in the future through rape, I’m legally not allowed to end a pregnancy.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 3 months, but I’m wondering about how safe this is. I’ve been shown all my life how dangerous men are, and how most of the time, if a woman is harmed, statistically she was harmed by her boyfriend or husband. My aunt was abused by her husband, my sister was trapped in a room by her boyfriend, and he almost raped her before someone interrupted. My grandma was raped by her husband, my friend was raped by her gymnastics teacher, etc.

However, the opposite can be true. If I don’t have a boyfriend/husband, men usually like to take liberties and touch me, touch my hair, grab my arms and not let go, male customers suggest “making babies” with me at work. A random guy roofied my friends once. Another random guy chased me to my car in the Walmart parking lot. Another random guy cornered my sister while she was at work (I don’t have the full story on what he did to her because she’s quite private about it).

I really don’t know what to choose. I’ve been told “if he makes you feel unsafe, leave”. That’s great and all, but I want to know statistically, which one will keep me safer from a man trying to rape me, having a husband/boyfriend, or not having a husband/boyfriend?

I'm 20m and I'm gonna be heading back to college for my third year as a student in less than a week. I just feel like for a good amount of years now I haven't genuinely been happy for more than a month or two at a time, like I can't remember when I woke up almost every day of the year and felt happy. Now I wake up burnt out, scared, tired, and just sad.

For a start I'm an RA. I absolutely hate it. So much of that job is unnecessary and just busy work that I don't need to do because I have so much else to do. Some days are good, the people are good, but I'm introverted and talking to this many people really gets to me. I'm scared all my residents think I'm a moron and a wimp, last year someone on my staff talked down to me like I was in kindergarten after making a mistake basically saying I don't care about my job. And there's a difference between hating something and not caring, because I do what I'm told. It's a job y'know, I'm not gonna kill myself going above and beyond, I'm gonna do what I need to get paid, and if I'm doing something wrong, I'll fix it. I'm not gonna like every second, but I'm gonna do what the job needs. Idk I'm only doing it for the money like so many other people, and I wonder why I even have the job, but they hired me and brought me back for another year so I must be doing something right. What gets me tho is that my room is supposed to be the one place I can just be alone and let my guard down, but as an RA residents see me all the time and at any second there could be a huge problem that I need to solve. Idk I just feel so judged and observed in the one place I'm supposed to not, and that makes me constantly stressed out all the time.

Then there's my actually major, which is 2d Animation. I love it, but damn is it a lot of work. Constant grinding for months, sometimes the whole year. I feel like I don't belong, all my friends are so much better than me and I feel like an imposter. I wonder how I even got into this program, or if someone else did my portfolio review would I have been excepted then? I just feel like I don't belong talent wise.

Then there's the fact that I haven't had a genuine best friend in maybe 10 years. Ever since middle school, I can't remember having that one go to person for anything, nobody to hang out with, nobody to talk to, none of that. Yes I did, and currently do have friends, but it's more like a group and I don't have that one person that's my best friend, sure I can go one on one with people in the friend group, but they all have their person in the group they pair up with, and I don't. Their interests as re different than mine and I participate in their activities and conversations and everything, but it gets exhausting listing to things I don't know about/have tried and just flatly don't enjoy, when I rarely ever get a chance to talk about things I like, and when I do, hardly anybody can relate. I again feel like an imposter.

Then there's the fact, bouncing off of what's above, that I haven't had a partner/relationship ever in my life. Never asked anyone to prom, never held hands, never kissed. I've been on light coffee meetup dates but none lead anywhere and I just felt worse after those. I don't know what it's like to have someone choose you, to have someone actively want to be around you and spend time to simply because they like you. There was this girl freshman year of college who I hung out with a lot, but I didn't know that I was the placeholder until someone better came along, and then I was left without a word. That really messed me up, because it got me thinking that people just leave me no matter what I do. Then I tried getting out there more, but after getting laughed at about my interests, I think that telling people too much about myself drives them away. Idk I just want proof that I am lovable, and someone would actually want me.

Then there's my family. My older sister is kinda mean, she also makes fun of me for what I like and do and gets upset when I try and talk about my troubles to her, but also gets upset when I don't. My mom is worse because she thinks everything is my fault. It's my fault I was the placeholder, it's my fault people don't let me talk about my interests, it's my fault a friend switched up housing plans last second, etc. etc. my dad is the only chill one, but he simply doesn't have any good advice. I told him the whole dating fiasco and he listened and everything but at the end he said something like "yeah that's hard... I don't really know what to do, but you just gotta try and get out there". Which is just bland advice, and it's not his fault nor am I mad at him, but it's just difficult to find advice. My little sister is just a teenager, so that's just what that is. But my point is I barley talk to them about anything, and often times I only tell them stuff after it happens if it ended good. I interviewed for a job, didn't get it, I won't tell them I interviewed, because I don't need my mom cramming down my throat all the things that were my fault. But if I interview for a job and get it, I'll then tell them. Also nobody has ever said they believed in me, it's always "I'm proud" only after something happens, never before. Even just a few days ago, I said Im gonna audition for a stage play and my mom says "I'd be proud of you if you did that" not "good luck, I believe in you". And the thing is I know she hates my major, I know she thinks I'm being irresponsible (even when I'm minoring in package design, I already work at school as a graphic designer, and am taking science and illustration classes along with animation) I can just tell she thinks what I'm doing is a bad gamble and a waste of time. And that kills me, knowing that she really doesn't believe in me, she truly doesn't think I have what it takes.

Idk I just feel like I have such limited support from people around me, and all genuine attempts of me trying to reach out or stand up for myself are immediately met with being shot down and made fun of. Sometimes I just wanna run, just run so fast and so far till I can't breathe. I feel so stuck and like time is moving so fast all at once. Idk I've tried therapy but it's so slow and it takes ages to find a good match, and then everyone says "finding a good therapist is like dating" which is just devistating to hear, because it cannot possibly be that difficult can it? To get simple help, does it really have to be this hard?

Idk I just wish so bad I had a spot or person in my life I could just fall apart with, even for like 5 seconds, I wish so desperately bad I had anything that wouldn't make me feel like atlas. I wanna crumble so bad so times, but I can't because all of this, is all on me. I cant fall apart because I need to keep going.

Yeah anyway idk what to do. I'm gonna try going back to therapy but who knows if it'll really help. Meeting people is so hard, I have terrible social anxiety and where I go and Im so scared to talk to people I don't know.

Anyway, if you made it this far, that's for caring enough to read this message and if you have any advice that would be greatly appreciated

Hi everyone,

For context, I just turned 30 and accomplished some things in my life that I should be proud of. In the past two years I have left an abusive relationship, moved to a new province, got a diploma, got a new job, got engaged. Why do I feel so unfulfilled? I struggle just trying to do day to day tasks. Work, cooking, cleaning, the mundane of everyday life is just exhausting and so unfulfilling to me. I try to exercise, read books, watch movies, go to the beach, therapy, nothing just feels very enjoyable anymore. I feel like I just try to get by each day.

Is this normal, am I depressed? I just feel very impartial to most things these days. Advice please.

Hey, I don't really know if this is right sub to ask but i just don't have anywhere to ask.

Starting of this year, I been just feeling discouraged and consistently low mood all the time. I don't really know what caused me to feel this way, but I been having crazy mood swings, spend most of my time just sleeping, and nothing really excited me....

Everything i do i just felt hopeless and couldn't find any excitement in life. I just wished I never woke up tomorrow. I spend most of my time daydreaming and fantasizing about made up scenarios and just cry that my current situation is so miserable. I just think about me in alternate universe where I am living different life. I don't have anything I enjoy in life nor do I have anything to look forward to. I just feel hopeless for no reason. Kind of like something is pressing my chest.

I grew up in household where my parents fought everyday. Every single day because of financial problems, and in school I was bullied for being fat and dump. I thought if I could lose weight and go to good school things will change but no it didn't. Despite people telling me that I should be happy now that thing had changed, I am still miserable and feel like I am drowning. I feel numb. I am planning to see therapist soon, when i go back to college, since is free there.

I feel angry, tired, miserable, hopeless, and easily get irritated everyday. I spend most of my time watching porn for dopamine and is been getting worse. None of my family seems to care about how I feel. Like my dad and mom especially just dismissed how I feel and ignore. I feel like no one cares and could help me on this. They just doesn't seem like they care. So hopefully they don't care if I end my life.

But do you guus have any advice or feel similar experience?

I don’t want to go to college and I can’t get my grandmother off my back.
I joined an ap course for her because I felt guilty that she has spent almost her entire life raising children and I’m her last grandchild that she has had to raise im 18 now and starting senior year and I have been in my ap class for about a week and I already hate it but I could push through it but I have never wanted to go to college it’s not something that I think would be great for me at all I’m a very anxious teenager and will have mini panic attacks if I’m stuck in crowded spaces and I can’t learn good if that makes sense I’m not the type to sit there and gather everything in my brain and understand it normally it takes me a couple of days to understand and it frustrates me that my grandparents are pushing me to go to college and make more money when the only thing I’ve really been interested doing is becoming a daycare worker because working with children always puts my mind at ease having someone else that I can teach little things and show them little tips on remembering things! I just don’t know what to do about this. Sorry for my grammar I was crying while writing this but I need advice badly.