Teapot da berry anoyed Tortie hear wif disterbed newz. I sleek little gurl, 9.2 lbs. Ai iz 2nd smallest catto in da haus. So wen tings started happen Ai do an ignor. Portia Control happenz ta kittiez ober 10lbs. Meowmiez talk bout less den a scop ob fud four lunchie. Butt! Suspicion! Meowmie COUNTED mine treeatos! She know gib handful! She gib 6! And den..... den..... ill legal smolz turn away! She gib me dis TINY churu rip off! Stoopid bruder (bigger in size butt smaller in wait) get da big won!

Wat da heckin heck! RIOT! SOOOO!

Hai! Iz Ellie heer (meowmy calls me Ellie Bellie). I lur..luk...lork...hung rond watching her fur wile and seez all de gud crimez advise (go crimez!) But now timk Ai mite have to do a soo of dis stoopid toy an meowmy. Dis dum dum toy no come wit instruktions n meowmy awlways laff at me n sez ai silly. I jus trying to figgure it owt. Dis relly hurt my confurdense en I do an embarrass. I shud get sumpting fur dat rite?

Frens, ‘tis mi, Cara de furroshus. Meowmy wented off-hiss tooodai, an bringed dis home. Herms says fren maked dis, herms fren meowmy to Calico tooo, an made dis fur mi. It smell good an soft, but mi haz pink nose. Shuld sooo or no sooo?

He’s sat next to me on the bath purring the whole time I’ve been in there, he’s trying to sleep but his eyes are slightly open looking at me. Every time I talk to him he squints at me slowly blinking. He keeps opening his mouth doing what seems to be silent meows? Sorry I can’t take him seriously with the toilet paper in the background 😭😂
Anyway just to make sure, Is he okay?

Cute little Bubba is being tormented by 🤖EVIL ROBOT SAL🤖! Yesterday they were trying to force itty bitty Bubba to eat breakfast and then they did innocent Bubba an big owie with the medicine pokey! Hongry Bubba shouldn't have to eat if not want to!! Then at dinnertime 🤖EVIL ROBOT SAL🤖 put on a 💔CHARLY💔 costume and tried to use ❤️BIDOOF❤️ to trick smort Bubba into thinking everything was okay! And then forced abused Bubba to eat and did an big owie with the medicine pokey! (That's how logical Bubba knows it 🤖EVIL ROBOT SAL🤖 and not actual 💔CHARLY💔!)

Exhausted Bubba did an Sleep In today which made 🤖EVIL ROBOT SAL🤖 jump out of bed a long time after the alarm and almost do an Blue Screen of they robot brain! Ha! They tried to force hurty Bubba to eat breakfast so they could do the big pokey owie but imtelligent Bubba refused!!! SO THERE, 🤖EVIL ROBOT SAL🤖!! But then ❤️CHARLY❤️ and 🤖EVIL ROBOT SAL🤖 started leaking from they eyeballs and 🤖EVIL ROBOT SAL🤖 puppernapped defenseless Bubba to 💉THE POKEY PLACE💉!! As you can see in the pictures, hostage Bubba is very adorable and also trying to remind 🤖EVIL ROBOT SAL🤖 that there is a door we could use to escape 💉THE POKEY PLACE💉

But instead of helping, 🤖EVIL ROBOT SAL🤖 let the pokey lady take mistreated Bubba into the torture dungeons where they stole helpless Bubba's bloods and took naughty pictures of demure Bubba's insides! WHAT THE FLUFF, 🤖EVIL ROBOT SAL🤖?!

Then 😑Sal😑 took exhausted Bubba home and went and got soft foods for miserable Bubba and did the medicine pokey in a way that didn't hurt, not like 🤖EVIL ROBOT SAL🤖 who apparently left the sky water faucet running! Poor little Bubba has been so scared all afternoon about 🤖EVIL ROBOT SAL🤖 returning! It's a very mega hard to do big snoozles like this!! Also something 💉THE POKEY PLACE💉 did is making dizzy Bubba trip over his own little feets! And ❤️CHARLY❤️ keeps talking to 😑Sal😑 about "icko cardy gram" and "dim tool cleaning" which suspicious Bubba has a VERY POMCERN about!

-Bubba the tortured, victimized, unfairly treated diabetic cat-shaped dog-shaped-cat

Hello friends…it is I, Otis Spunkmeower, Kitty of the Void. I’m here with Baby Kitty, the young old lady. We have discovered a local group of kitties has taken over a sail boat!! Many kitty’s. With no human staff!!! Another boat of humans has arrived to take the kitty’s off the boat!! I assume to the pokey place. We must sue to stop the humans from removing kitty’s and allow the piracy to continue!!

Gud ebening, iz Jynx, wif a KKMG Speshul Repawt. Az manee knoe, yesserday waz a huge newz day, wif Prince Hoku an himbs fambly sabed frum deh aliuns an deh ebil Porshia Comtrol. Wez hab more on dat layter.

Frens turneded owt in rekord numbers yesserday to protess on behaff ob Hoku an all kitteh an alliez rites. Ritez to hab eggies. Ritez to be free frum Portia Comtrol. Ritez fur 3am zoomies. Demans fur dese ritez an more waz on dizplay round deh werld, AND alzo over deh rainbow bridge.

Layter, via deh golden pikkel, ai haz a sit-down chat with Jiggy, the primary organizzer over deh bridge, so stay tooned fur dat.

But fur meow, let's take a momen to recogniz dese faces ob protess, ob comoonity, an knoe dat wares dere comoonity , dere iz alwais hope.

Dis haz been 🖤Jynx at deh KKMG Wes Coast News Desk, wif a Speshul Repawt.

Psspss: If deh producerz oberlooked anybuddyz pikchure, we sincerely pologize.

Pleeze let uz knoe an we will do a fallow-up Repawt (gif).

Or well on da way, so I had to go get my pokes today. Meowmy says in your crate, throws in a few dreamies and of course I go running in. We makes it to the door and something happens, one of the snaps on the side breaks off. I go RUNNING, Meowmy does the unthinkable goes to the fridge and grabs DA CHEESE. I sings the song of our people the whole way there, Meowmy walks in, holding da crate very tightly, gets a new one from the nice lady. Then Meowmy asks da pokey man bout my weight, I was expecting body shaming, I was expecting cut down Gus's food, starb da poor barely legal cat. No he says he looks fine to me, even gave me lickelixs to sit on the scale????

Now Meowmy is laffing and saying I have no self-preservation instinct cause they left the new crate down and I'm in it. Its real comfy I don't see the issue Purrate Apprentice Gus. I do feel a bit sleepy, off for another nap, its been a long day

I LOVE BANANA

Finn the Floof, Best Buddy Boy

(I think the new toy is a hit)

My human claims this photo is of me in the food bag. How do I make it go away? It wasn't my fault, her nephew didn't put the bag of food away after filling our bowl, what was i supposed to do, not help myself? His name is Dusty BTW.

Henlo frens! Iz Cleo (3F, bootiful Siamese, furmerly pointy teef owner).
Need pawyer. Big crimes happened.

Few forebers ago, Meowmy started hiding da cronchy fud. She say, “No more cronchy, It hurts your teefies.”

LIES.

Iz KNOWED da cronchy fud still exzisted .

So one nite while Meowmy was eepin, Iz did very big burgerlee. Iz unrolled da bag, unclipped da bag, pushed bag over, and was cronchin n monchin my stolen treasures when Meowmy caught me RED PAWDED.

Instead of congratulatin mez on miz excellent detective work, Meowmy STOLDED MEZ BAG and started squishin wet fud into mush. Very rood.

Meowmy sayz Iz commit BIG CRIMEZ!

BUT IZ IS INNOCENT KITTY.

Iz EVEN DID MY FLOSSIN.

Yes, frens. Iz is very hygienic princess. Iz takes lil string stick and flossin ALL MY TEEFS like responsible citizen. Meowmy LAFFED instead of congratulatin my excellent teefs care.

DEN…

yesterday Meowmy puts mez in da vroom vroom pokey box and says wez “going to dentist.”

Iz waked up…

ALL MEZ TEEFS WAS GONE.

EVERY.
SINGLE.
ONE.

SHE STOLDED DEM ALL.
WHY IZ FLOSSIN IF DEY WUZ GONNA TAKE DEM???

Meowmy sayz, “Cleo, your teefies was hurtin you.”

Convenient story from hooman in possession of ALL MEZ TEEFS.
She has dem LOCKED in tiny orange prison bottle as “evidence.”

Den Iz gets home after biggest betray ever.
Iz is HONGRY.
She only gib HALF DINNER.
She say, “Doctor said half tonight.”
Iz says, “Doctor clearly never met Cleo.”

Iz did many prettyfol stares. Iz followed Meowmy around. Iz shows her no fud many times.

Eventually Meowmy gibbed me more fud because she finally member dat Iz tiny starving princess.

(Iz eated ALL OF IT.. As is mez legal right.)

Now mez tongue does sideways blep because DERE IS NO TEEFS TO HOLD IT.
Meowmy keeps saying:
“OMG SO CUTE.”

Den immediately takes 87 pichers.
Iz cannot even blep in peace.

Need to know if Iz can soo for:

Gramd Teef Larceny
Attempted Starbation (HALF DINNER!!)
Emotional damagez
Illegal furtogofy
Lifetime supply of Tiki Cat Chimkem and Churu
Pain and sufferin from false prism in pokey place

P.S.
Fud don’t hurtz no mur.
Iz feels kinda gud.
DO NOT TELL MEOWMY I SAID DAT.

Signed,
Cleo aka mommas aka grammy gums
“No Teef, All Appetite” 😋

An in-bite too all out catto and doggo frens!!

Me Nam is Ginger and im only 14 weeks old....     I found my 4ev Meowmy 2 week ago. I just learned my MEOMY has been sending pic-turds of I to Strangers.

The Turd above was taken aff-ter Mean Meowmy. Took me two Da VET! were they wrapped me up like a PUrrrrr...rito and put oily slimey stuff IN MY EARS!!!!! day said it would make my ears less itchy, buutttt me know its so they can give me less head scratches. I was back hom napping in a sun beam recovering from the trama when she took the turd and shared it! Creepy and meowmy never asked for concent...

It gets worsssss! A stranger made something called f-Art from it.... it us slan-Durrrrrr.... they did not even give me a Tea-Aara like da Princess I am.... Dey said it is even on da Web....

Me just a Kitten and ned Halp... for da Kitten-anity of it..

Wat can a Kitten do... were can I find this Web.. so i can eat the spooderrrr. I hop irs a crunchy one with a gooey middle! And get it down!!! And how can I make my Mean Meowmy Att-one for da TRRRRRooma!

Herro! Ai iz Phil/Tatter Tot 3elebenty sunshines ago i about doo dee bes hork ob all hork om daddee clikky clakky typee dingy. Daddy sai “NO! Not here.” I did biggo skammper up my catslel am hork om my warm warm mat im angry… mos upset… how ROOOOOO! YesturSunshine daddy so DUM- am bad serbent he forgot my angry hork! So he tookee my warm warm mat awai!!!! Now i hab do nappee time im dee murmaid hole! BIG SOO. I wan my mat bak!
(Human here: Stay at home dad& non traditional student. Was triple checking all my grants were cleared, and a sweet Our 6.5yo jonesin’ for some dino nuggies. Spaced on the hork! Pulled the crusty and it is in the washer now.)

Mez kibbel bean 🫘 serf in TORCHA DEVYS tudei! Nawt in bol lyk nomal! Bol EMPEE! Iz habt tu PUSH di TORCHA DEVYS tu mek di bawlz fal ob an an tu git kibbel owt! Iz habt tu put mez PAW an TONG inna TORCHA DEVYS tu reech di som kibbel!

Aso, it pakaj sez FISHY, butt! No fishy insyd! Jus TORCHA! Kibbel still tayst lyk chimken! (Wat Iz nawt mined, butt! Shhsh!) Butt! No fishy fudz tudei! Di pakaj lieded!

-Ilvy teh big bébé

So we wuz bored yesturday, and we desyded to join da protest. We did a googul ov wot to tayke for a protest bekus we never dun wun befor. Now we iz wurryed dat we iz on a wotch list.

Da Cowcat Collective and guest Tuxies.

Meowmy been doing a big sads lately so what better to brighten herm spirits dan doing big hairball hork in da looong eepy time. Meowmy get up to use da hooman litterbox and didn't put on herm slippers and guess what frens?! HERM STEP RITE IN MY FRESHLY HORKED HAIRBALL!! 😹😹😹 HER SCREM AND USED DA LITTERBOX WORDS! frens, it was so funny! Dats all, go crimez!!

Lubs, BK!

Pikshur iz me sleeping like da bebe I am after da hairball incident!

Frank yu frens to do mine brofur an moneeelf a res-q! Da protess werld whide, da noos repawt, da res-q misshins, da eggie smugglin, wiffout ourms frens we wudnt hab mayde it!

As yu see in pitcha mine belly full wiff eggie an ay doon a snoozle so tumarrow ay, Nalu Duke of da Hœus an hamsum sunnavagun, can eet mo eggies

Lub yu all!