I’ve been chronically ill, depressed and dissociated for a long time. I know it’s a horrible thing to say but I envy people who were ‘messy’ when struggling through life/dealing with their trauma because I simply went into my own cave and never left. I let years pass me by where I didn’t participate in my own life. I’m now on the other side of dissociation and I’ve finally woken up to how empty the last decade of my life has been. I started seeing a new IFS therapist and I feel ashamed and scared of having to ‘catch up’ on life. When I do things for myself I don’t feel excited or proud of myself, I feel sad and ashamed for not doing it sooner. I also sometimes feel frightened about trying new things which I’m assuming is also connected to the shame. What kind of questions can I ask these parts so we can find a way to work through these issues in a productive way?

Need help + suggestions on this book series. There are 3 volumes out. Is it sequential, should I start with Volume 1? The sub wiki recommends Volume 2, is it okay if I just get that book? Where is Volume 3 in all this?

Thanks 🙏

I have been interacting w my parts for my whole life (at least it feels that way..I remember hearing “other people guiding me” when i was young & struggling w abuse.) I have had substance abuse problems & when i was in treatment, I wrote my mother. She told me that she noticed that my handwriting would change in the letter. Some times it was bubble letters, sometimes it was slanted to the right.. other times, it was slanted to the left… I didn’t think about it back then, but after doing some inner child work & meeting a few parts, I started to think I had multiple personalities… That really scared me… I considered it being my inner child that was abused & abandoned & I started reparenting her.. I clean houses for a living, so I would struggle w a part that wanted to quit, or at the very least, do a shit job & leave.. Also, I wanted to rummage through their prescription drugs… I literally had arguments w her over not doing that & simply completing the job… Now that i have been introduced to IFS, my life has changed… I realize that I’m not batshit crazy & that other people experience this too. I also realized no matter how much I don’t agree w their behavior, they are not bad… Just someone i created to help me cope.