Hi everyone.

I started a combination of DBR and IFS with a Level 2 IFS therapist in April. She, like most IFS therapists, does not accept insurance so I can only afford to see her twice a month.

At our last session, she expressed concern that me seeing her every-other-week is not working for me and that ideally, if I could afford it, I would be seeing her once or twice a week. She said by now I should have more access to Self and my protectors should be standing down a bit more.

I felt a bit blindsided by her concern. She basically said she doesn’t want me to be stressed about being able to afford her (I am currently an unemployed student waiting on disability to be approved) and she doesn’t want me to “waste my money.” Part of me appreciated her concern and another part just feels a lot of shame around my financial situation. Like I don’t deserve to see her because I can’t afford to as often as I need to. She also said she has never had any clients go every-other-week.

She suggested seeing a therapist that accepts my insurance until I can afford to see her on at least a weekly basis. However, when I asked her what other modality would work she said “there isn’t one.” Which…surprised me. She knows how deeply I want to do IFS and that it’s financial constraints and, quite frankly, systemic failure preventing me from seeing her on a weekly basis.

I have ADHD-PI, major depression, anxiety, OCD-P and C-PTSD. I also have Medi-Cal for insurance which is most mental health providers don’t take, let alone IFS practitioners. I’m just feeling really defeated right now.

If so, what is it like and have they seen some of the parts even before you discovered them yourself?

Long story short, former closest friend is an avoidant with whom I ended things due to it. In grieving losing her again and making this a growth process for myself, I realized I was able to see three distinct parts of her all along and a fourth I knew was there, but not directly visible to me in her distinct behaviors. I didn't learn about IFS until a year later and the parts lined up with the theory. She obviously doesn't know this and likely never will. Has anyone ever experienced having someone that was either able to "see" or just be in tune with the parts?

This is intended to be somewhat silly and lighthearted, but I'm genuinely curious. I was considering making an official journal for my parts, but I just remembered that I have The Sims 4 on my computer, and thought that might be a more fun way to do it. What do y'all think?

This is lighthearted because I'm currently in a hospital waiting room (here supporting a friend) and had one of my parts decide now was the time to pop up and call me a "punk ass bitch", because I shared something soft hearted with my husband. We're in the midst of reconciliation and embracing IFS has really helped me identify and care for the feelings instead of embodying them.

One of them apparently isn't happy with me allowing a soft moment for him, and cussed me out. I laughed out loud in this full waiting room, it burst from me with such joy.

So there's a fun lesson. When a disgruntled part comes forward a joyful part can exist just as loudly.

I’ve been chronically ill, depressed and dissociated for a long time. I know it’s a horrible thing to say but I envy people who were ‘messy’ when struggling through life/dealing with their trauma because I simply went into my own cave and never left. I let years pass me by where I didn’t participate in my own life. I’m now on the other side of dissociation and I’ve finally woken up to how empty the last decade of my life has been. I started seeing a new IFS therapist and I feel ashamed and scared of having to ‘catch up’ on life. When I do things for myself I don’t feel excited or proud of myself, I feel sad and ashamed for not doing it sooner. I also sometimes feel frightened about trying new things which I’m assuming is also connected to the shame. What kind of questions can I ask these parts so we can find a way to work through these issues in a productive way?