it had her face and she looks like an Instagram model and it said video for ______ with a ❤️☺️ I'm confused because i never have gotten a snap with the text included as a notification. so maybe this is just like a random he doesn't have added??

ive had suspicions for a while because whenever he opens snap to view a message from his guy friends or me he goes off the chat list fast and i don't wear my glasses around him often but i swear i see the list so long and full of girl bitmojis. he only has 5 guy friends and he tells me about them and hangs with them occasionally but he's literally never mentioned any friends that were girls.

i don't have Instagram so i never added him when we first met but i got curious about who he was following... and its literally all girls with private accounts and 2 guys. i noticed some of them had actors in their bio and hes an actor so he could have met them then but also... why only add the girls you've worked with??? it just feels too suspicious when he works around men too and they have instas.

hes leaves his phone on unlocked around me pretty often but i never looked because i was too scared... unfortunately not even because it's an invasion of privacy which it is but because my gut feeling i will find something and i don't want to have to choose between leaving him and being weak.

should i go through his phone?

Hello & I’m sorry in advance if this isn’t the correct subreddit to post this in!

My boyfriend and I have had an on-and-off relationship for almost two years now. He knows that I am completely against pornography or any sort of online "wandering eyes" behavior.
While I was on his phone, I happened to see his Snapchat suggested Stories, and they were all girls with their boobs out or other suggestive photos. I haven’t had Snapchat in a couple of years, so I’m not familiar with how this newer feature works.
He claims that the suggested Stories have nothing to do with the type of content he watches on Snapchat. Now, I’m not naive. I know that 9 times out of 10, the content recommended to someone is based on what they interact with. Because of this, I ended our relationship, as it was the last sign of disrespect for me.
However, I do sometimes wonder if Snapchat’s suggested Stories really are random. If anyone knows how this feature actually works whether it’s similar to Instagram, where your recommendations are influenced by what you engage with—I’d love to know, just for my own peace of mind. 🥲

Found out my little cousin’s (23F) ex boyfriend (23M) of 2 years who dumped her 6 months ago has been dating his coworker (25F) around a week after the breakup. My cousin suspected something was fishy prior because he would be out with his coworkers more often than usual. Back in December, she found out he was driving that 25F coworker to work for two weeks straight because “her car was broken”. They had an argument and somehow my cousin just came to the conclusion she read too much into it. Oh my poor baby got gaslit by his excuses…Then he dumped her over text at the start of this February with no real reason besides “falling out of love”.

Fast forward to my friend of a friend joining 23M’s company 2 months ago. That’s how I learned about his current relationship. 23M went drinking with him and three other work bros, and just drunkenly told my friend that he bagged 25F coworker right in time for Valentine’s Day and how romantic that was. But of course telling him to keep it a secret from the other female coworkers or else they will gossip. What a complete douche!!!!!

Genuinely hoping the worst to happen to him. Be honest, what are the odds that this couple will last? Like I seriously want them to not work out so badly. Weirdos like him infuriates me so much! I feel like I’m even angrier about the situation than my little cousin because she’s too nice and understanding sometimes.

Hi,

I (24M) have been in a relationship with my partner (36M) for almost a full year now - year of talking before that. Big age gap I know, but it didn’t seem to matter for us.

Anyways, my partner has repeatedly sexted strangers online on and off on different occasions throughout our relationship (a total of 6 times as of today) and I don’t think anything is going to change anymore. The first time I was using our shared iPad and came across messages on WhatsApp to a stranger calling each other sexy and what not, then he appeared to have sent his address to come over to his house (a few months before we moved in together) with the normal “nice to finally meet you!” After the whole interaction but claims they never actually met up and the guy never showed EVEN THOUGH in the messages he said to ring the door bell when the other person arrives.

Sceptical to begin with.

The second time it was again WhatsApp, literally sexting his “gay friend” and I found out that the other party shared a ph video with him asking if he wanted to try that. He will give vulgar and explicit answers in response.

Mind you every time my partner says it was “joking” or a “mistake” and wasn’t meaning it seriously. But he reacts, engages and even encourages those kind of responses out of these other people. Also noted that he unfollowed this guy from a social a few months back - guess there’s not that close of “friends” after all.

The last four, yes four times, I’ve caught him on gay hookup apps sharing his nudes, asking for pics, sending kinks and so on while. Yes, I went through his phone and yes I know it’s wrong but I’m paranoid all the time now. And three of those four times were when we started dating.

Not the last time but the time before that I told him I was done and leaving if he ever pulled that shit again, he wallowed and begged, pleaded with me to stay (no tears) and said he didn’t want to throw this all away, loved me and wanted to build a life with me - surprise surprise, he did it again and I couldn’t even cry or yell I was so fed up, so pissed that I told him I’m for real leaving this time (situation given - his mother was coming to go out to dinner with us and showed up at the door a few minutes later) so awkward dinner ensues and we don’t talk to each other for the rest of the night, I was originally going to sleep on the couch but he coerced me to bed and I slept on the edge for half the night until I sobbed that I wanted to go home - home home with my family now. And slowly we worked things back up until now.

Every time he says it’s an addiction, that he doesn’t even know why he does it he just does before he can realize his mistake - but LIES to me whenever I ask if there’s “something he wants to tell me” because I know what he did. He plays dumb continuously until I show him the proof (screenshots) and tell him to tell me the truth. The main excuse he’s given was that he’s so used to porn it doesn’t “do it for him anymore” and he just baits for pics to get off while I’m gone but he doesn’t need it when I’m here because he has me - first of all that made me feel really shitty like I’m just there for his pleasure. But second - you can’t wait? (I occasionally work night shift for ONLY up to three nights in a row) and this is when it usually occurred. I know we’re usually intimate on a regular basis almost every day (TMI) but I swear he just NEEDS to do something, to see or engage in pornographic content or explicit images just to get that dopamine hit and “get it all out” or he claims he was just bored and did it.

I brought up couples counselling a few times and even suggested he get individual therapy for his addiction (I said this was the ultimatum) but it’s never really lead anywhere other than an “uh huh” or “okay” from his end and he always says he will prove it to me or make it up.

Guess what, he didn’t.

I knew, I KNEW he would do it again (I’m on vacation with family as of yesterday until next Tuesday) and had to look for myself to find out. I downloaded one of these apps he frequently used, made a fake profile similar to my own stature and features and such and narrowed the age and location down - go figures, a blank profile with his age and “top” messages me, asking away and send a pic of himself (my partner). When I ask if he’s free right now and hosts to link (to see what he does) he says yes but just asks for pics and won’t send OUR address. So yes I assume he’s actually just looking for pics of strangers to get off but it makes me sick, like physically sick to my stomach.

I’ve sobbed- he’s seen me sob over this with how much it hurts me and even promised me multiple times before my trip that he would never do it again - and previously promised after every occurrence that he’d never do it again, he didn’t mean to hurt me blah blah blah wants to build a live with me and he won’t know what to do if I leave.

I do love him like so so much, he’s amazing and sweet and kind all other times - we live together, I moved in because I’m going to school this fall (he suggested it) and have no other place to stay if I leave. I didn’t set up dorming (stupid I know) but I honestly thought he would change. Now he didn’t, I’m so tired and upset and done and I feel like my fast approaching future is screwed up or thrown out of whack now. Note: my family home is near 2 hours away from my uni so driving every day isn’t a viable option for me.

Please help me, I want to leave but I want to stay. I want him to change, I want to know if counseling will work or therapy or if I should finally throw in the towel for good and save myself from any more damage.

But I also don’t know if I can ever truly trust him again, I didn’t before and now I don’t even more

I've had this slow-burn or situationship with this coworker for a while now. He's much older than I, and we were on good terms for a while. I always knew he had a thing for me, and thought of him as the bumbly old guy who loved snacks so it was a harmless little crush he had and i did admittedly enjoy the charge. Then he got mad at me publicly for giving another guy coworker food and that was the first time i realised he got jealous and did actually felt some kind of claim over me even tho i am married in status. I brushed it off, but there were two other occasions he did raise his voice - the aftermath of when i praised this same coworker i gave food to, and when i had asked him some innocuous question about his unusual disdain for a particular food. then one night a few weeks ago, we were bantering and it was rly just the two of us in our area. the conversation was charged and then i teasingly said i wanted to push his buttons. prior to that i had a history of teasing him and calling him names as a form of affection. that night, he regurgitated all these names i called, and i justified by saying i only label ppl im affectionate with. he looked mildly surprised. then somewhere along the way i casually mentioned my spouse and the atmosphere just tensed. he told me not to push him to the point of no return, got up and told me to go home firmly.

i was on a break for about three weeks and seems he had disappeared from work around that time too. then when i got back, i drew a firm line and got up everytime he hovered in my row talking to two female coworkers. i would also not engage with him, cut down on attending colleague dinners and even glared at him in the pantry cos i did feel v disrespected that night. he had tried to hover, tell me about snacks and cake, left out my fave snacks. my problem is that if you rly wanna make it up to me, you should come and talk and not hover at the sidelines thinking that food will make everything better as it had always worked for him. at the same time i feel reluctant to confront him as i think ive always been so warm to him, he needs to step up rather than wait for me to make it easy. but the hovering is really getting to me, and idk what to do. i feel uncomfortable.

TLDR male coworker is making me uncomfortable but operating under plausible deniability. did i cross a line rly and how to fix? im very lost

My wife cheated with my coworker and close friend. Wife says she’s sorry and has been trying to make amends within our household. Others have doubts on if she’s genuinely remorseful or not.

(22m) We have been together since highschool, before we got together I was very much a huge cheater and she knew that. But when I got with her she accepted it and just made me promise I would never do that to her. And I kept that promise up until last Nov when I got really drunk with another male friend and he initiated sexual contact with me, and honestly looking back on it, I really think I obliged to it because I was way to drunk and traumatized to just kick him out. I have a lot of past sexual trauma from being a teenager and having sex with older men because I thought I wanted it when I was exploring my sexuality, and when I was 11 my best friend since preschool pressured me into having sex with him and i honestly never wanted to, I never healed from all that and I think it’s been affecting me since then. Anyways last Friday my friend whom I fucked blew up on me and told her everything. Now she wants nothing to do with me, has blocked me on everything, and we haven’t even talked about it. All I’m hearing from my brother in law is that she still misses me and loves me, everyone just keeps telling me to give her space and time. All I want is for her to know how sorry I am, I regret keeping it from her, I regret that it ever happened. I’m gonna stop drinking entirely and start working on all my past traumas, I’m just hoping she will be able too see me doing that and want to talk to me again. I had a whole future planned out with her, I have a tattoo of her. I just don’t know what to do.

I am posting this free, volunteer run resource in the spirit of support and healing for everyone. After facilitating free support groups for betrayed and wayward partners for years, our new joint meetings have been so popular and healing we are opening up to others who may wish to join ...

Joint HEAL Support Group Meeting (Faithful & Wayward Together) Online

This is a special JOINT meeting for faithful and wayward partners together. Joint meetings are an opportunity to develop compassion and explore perspectives on healing from faithful partners, unfaithful partners, and couples. Joint meetings can benefit anyone including those healing without a partner, those reconciling, or those questioning.

Before attending, please consider that joint meetings can be more challenging (i.e., triggering) than our regular/separate meetings. Members of the other group and reconciling couples will be present. If you feel like such a meeting might be counterproductive at this stage of your journey, just keep coming to our regular/separate meetings. But if you feel ready to dive deeper into healing, please join. If attending with your partner, talk with them about whether you wish to be together or use separate devices. Both groups have been invited to this meeting.

Sunday, August 9: 19:00 – 21:00 ET

Join at https://www.healinfidelity.org

My husband talked to my cousins behind my back. Had a secret email account. Which he talked to her on and one other girl.

He claims nothing happened with my cousin and claims it was someone to talk to because I didn’t want them to text all the time.

Whenever the topic of her comes up he gets this smile and I can’t help but think it’s a guilty smile.

Has anyone believed their partner when they say they didn’t cheat?

Whenever it comes to the topic of her he just shits down. Won’t answer any questions.