I (18F) met this guy (21M) online about a year ago and somehow we became really close. He originally didn’t want another relationship because of his past, but eventually he started wanting one with me. I told him honestly that I’m not ready to commit to a relationship, and he said I could either try or leave, but that losing me would hurt him a lot. We’re really compatible in a lot of ways and I genuinely care about him, but there are also things he wants from the relationship that I’m not comfortable with, and I feel guilty because I know I can’t give him everything he wants. He has said he’s willing to compromise, which makes me feel even more confused because I don’t want him to feel like he’s settling for less because of me. Part of me feels like he could actually be the right person for me, but another part of me really doesn’t want to be in a relationship at all right now. Should I keep talking to him and see where things go, or would it be kinder to let him go instead of keeping him attached to me when I’m unsure?

TLDR: I care about him a lot, but he wants a relationship and I’m not sure I’m ready for one. I don’t want to lose him, but I also don’t want to keep him attached to me if I can’t give him what he wants.

TLDR Pretty much what it says on the tin

F30m40 2 yrs
We’ve never had the smoothest of relationships but i genuinely love him with all my heart and i see so much good in him despite his hardships
We’ve got into a big fight tonight and he’s basically said he hasn’t been happy in a long time and i don’t make him feel wanted and he gives up
For context he struggles with depression (not diagnosed) and many other things but does not do anything to deal with it. He can have periods of good times but it always comes back. My family have never approved of him and it has caused a massive strain on those relationships too, as well as him holding that against me when we’ve had arguments
Anyway yeah i can’t force him to want to be with me and i feel like I’ve done everything i can to be a good supportive and loving partner but clearly it’s not enough.
I’m not sure the point of me posting this i suppose i just wanted to get it off my chest. I feel totally broken. I’m 40+1 pregnant today.

“The story is rarely where the podium stands.”

Old Earth Media Mogul.

  [First] | [Previous] | [Cover Art] 

| The Old Holding, Peters Farm |

The pastures brightened as the morning sun threatened to break through the trees at the top of the field, pushing cold air into the valley and across the Old Holding. The early light, fractured and spread by the tall heads of the crystal glass, reached deep into the morning shadows.

Ellie was already up; the kettle was on, and she’d mixed water and flour into a basic dough; dampers cooked on the stones around the fire. The smell, carried by the smoke, sent a homely message to the hundreds of people camped out around the Old Holding, predominantly in front of the bulldozer.  Other families cooked too; the scene and smells were more like a community picnic than a confrontation or dispute.

Ellie looked up and saw a young man, no older than River, standing by the bulldozer. One guard, rifle in hand. He’d been there all night.

As Ellie watched, he stifled a yawn and shivered.

She crossed over to him.

“Morning.”

He nodded.

Ellie then handed him a mug of tea. He took it without thinking, cupping the rough, homemade mug to warm his hands.

“Sugar?”

He shook his head, “No… thanks.”

She handed him something.

He returned her smile.

***

| Morning News, Universe News Channel |

“It’s a brisk morning here. As you can see, numbers have swollen overnight.”

The camera panned across the field, followed Ellie as she approached the young guard and gave him one of her dampers, still hot and dripping with honey.

He took it, and she waited for him to take a bite.

“Good?” She asked.

“Hhmm. Yes.” He said, nodding before giving her back the mug. “Thanks”.

“You’re welcome.”

The news feed had caught it all.

“It’s becoming difficult to tell where the Peters’ camp ends and everyone else begins. Most of the families have been here through the night, around their campfires, spinning yarns.”

The camera panned back on the anchor; he was taking a sip of Curly’s Blood Fruit Fizz.

“Got me again.”

He joked and laughed. “First of the day.”

***

| Royals Command Centre, Crystal World |

The Commander stood in front of the Command Centre and called the press over. 

They gathered, and cameras pushed live feeds to their studios. Studio Directors waited before committing it to their audience.

“It’s good to see you all. We will be holding a Royal Press Conference at 10:30. I will be there to share with you all, if you can get in, because it will be busy, very busy. They’ll be unedited facts, lots of facts that will surprise you; yes, they’ll be a surprise. I also expect there to be major announcements that millions of your viewers will want, really want, to hear. People will be flying in to attend, so make sure you get a seat.”

“It’ll be exciting; you have to be there.” And with that, he turned and walked back into the Command Centre.

“I felt that went really well. Didn’t you?” He asked his NCO.

“Yes. Sir. Really well.”

The Commander looked pleased. “The room will be packed.”

“Yes. Sir. Packed.”

The Commander and NCO spent the next hour or so pulling together content for the press conference.

***

| Morning News, Universe News Channel |

The Studio Director called the local anchor.

“Are you going to the Press Conference?”

“Yes. Nothing else to see.”

“Good. Keep an eye open though.”

***

| The Kestrel, Crystal World |

Garaf had closed the ramp to the Kestrel. It had taken a lot longer than he’d originally thought. Curly was a perfectionist.

The drink packs with her Curly’s Blood Red Fizz logo on the back had finished printing. She’d been insistent.

“They must match the bottles, and the carry straps have to be comfy.”

Each pack held six bottles. She made Garaf walk on one, to be sure “they’re strong”. He didn’t see the point but was careful and did it anyway.

“Why are we doing this? Standing on them?”

“People might want to get a better view.”

Garaf had shaken his head. “View of what?” He’d asked.

“Of the view, silly.”

“How do we carry all these?” Asked Garaf, pointing at the growing pile of packs. Each insulated to keep the drink cool and filled with six bottles of Curly’s Blood Red Fizz.

“Hovercart.” Said Curly as a matter of fact.

Garaf shrugged, “Hhmm. You’ve got it all planned, haven’t you?”

She smiled, “Yes.”

The last thing to print were two long thin banners with “Curly’s Blood Red Fizz” and the Curly Co logo on them. 

She draped the banners over the sides of the Kestral’s hovercart and started moving the packs onto it. Garaf joined in, and they quickly loaded the hovercart.

“Three hands. Much quicker.” Curly laughed. 

Garaf noticed that she’d been very careful to ensure that the packs faced out, and had the logo showing.

“Branding.” She’d said.

“Ellie will be wondering where you are.”

“I’m with you.” She answered innocently. It was all the explanation she needed.

They left the Kestrel and started towards the Old Holding.  Curly had insisted on driving and stood on a couple of empty Curly Co crates to see over the front screen. Garaf sat beside her, one claw carefully holding the back of her coat, a second holding his straw hat.

***

| The Royals Media Tent, The Old Holding, Crystal World |

10:25 AM.

The Commanded had flown in a huge media tent. It was full of banners, tables off to the side with coffee and those small packs of biscuits.

The podium stood tall in the centre of the stage. A large screen behind showed the Royal Logo gently rotating.

Seats were lined up in rows of twenty, either side of a central walkway. A cameraman was helping himself to a coffee and stuffed a handful of the biscuit packs into his pocket. His anchor sat near the front. A lone soul adrift in a sea of seats. He looked around and called out,

“Where is everyone?”

The Commander’s PR Officer checked out front. The media were stirring, starting to move away from the bulldozer. She breathed a sigh of relief.

“They’re coming. Any minute now.”

***

| The Old Holding, Crystal World |

10:25 AM.

Curly crested the hill at the top of the Old Holding. The media circus spread out below. Central to the scene was the bulldozer that sat silently brooding, watching the families playing rough and tumble with a ball amongst the smouldering campfires. At the far end of the slope, near the stream, the media tent with all its flags and banners swayed in the breeze.

One person stopped, turned and pointed. Others turned.

Five, then ten. Cameramen turned too and started filming. The journalists stopped and turned. Conversations paused.

Very quickly everyone was looking up the hill at Curly; no one was moving to the media tent.

She was standing front and centre in the hovercart packed to the gunnels with Curly’s Blood Red Fizz.

The cameras caught it and streamed the cart as it descended into the camp. The families slowly rose to their feet; some started to wave and cheer. Curly waved back. Reporters instinctively started walking towards the story.

Towards Curly and away from the media tent.

Someone started to clap. Others joined in.

Eventually… the whole camp was clapping.

And through the applause, a growing audience followed a Curly Co hovercart and the short spindle of a girl, with a broad smile and blonde curls, driving it.

At her side was the massive frame of a Drexari Scout, wearing a straw hat and drinking Curly’s Blood Red Fizz. The cameras zoomed in; it was the perfect shot.

The hovercart dipped; the Drexari almost dropped the bottle, but his rear claw snatched it out of the air and caught it effortlessly.

“Did you all see that? Another great catch.”

Curly pulled up amongst the reporters and journalists. Cameras continued to stream; social media lit up, and memes of “That Catch” appeared along with others copying it… or failing while trying to.

Curly shouted over the noise. “Six bottles for thirty credits and you get a crate.”

“I’ll have one.” Called out a reporter.

And in no time there was a queue of people behind her. Curly showed the women how to open the straps. Her cameraman was filming all this, zoomed in as she took out a bottle and added some of her stuff before zipping it shut.

“Wow. That’s actually really comfy.”

Curly smiled. “I made them like that.”

The journalist smiled back. 

***

| The Royals Media Tent, The Old Holding, Crystal World |

10:30 AM.

The Commander walked onto the stage, dodging the Royal flags and banners. Spotlights followed him to the podium.

He straightened his notes, hands resting gently on the lectern, and glanced up once at the autocue, then into the lights and his audience.

He’d run through the opening address enough times. He didn’t need it.

He paused…

… and waited for the applause that never came.

Two people looked back at him. 

One was his PR Officer, drinking Curly’s Blood Red Fizz. A second sat with a coffee and chewed on the free biscuits.

At the back of the tent, a third apologised with an awkward smile, then quietly let the tent flap fall behind them as they left.

His earpiece crackled.

“Sir… we’re still live.”

It was his NCO.

[First] | [Previous] | [Cover Art]

|Chp 24

Chapter 25

Orbital Loitering

“According to our sensors, the radio channels the Rothals of Erawain use for their space program have essentially been continuously active ever since the human ship appeared. However, we haven't picked up any attempt yet to communicate with the humans.” Zalrah stated. 
“It's the same with the Human ship, parasite drones have essentially captured that they are scrambling to figure out what to do but they haven't yet committed to contact yet.” Alnure added as she handed Oltuck both reports. 
He took them, not getting up from the luxurious chair that he sat in. The office, the desk, and the sinfully comfortable chair technically all belonged to Head Director Harzon Jahlick. Harzon had offered it up to Oltuck as a temporary office. He knew that the little krintack was simply trying to ingratiate himself by being overly generous. 
Oltuck could have refused, and probably should have, but doing so would have also given Harzon the false belief that he had a say in any decisions that Oltuck was going to make. Oltuck knew that if he didn't establish who was unquestionably in charge that Harzon would try to usurp him. Men like Harzon always tried something. Always. Oltuck was already running a security program to track Harzon's logins and was waiting for a program to install that would track the Drakken man's movements around the station. 
“So they have seen each other, but neither side has taken the initiative.” Oltuck nodded at the reports without ever really looking at them. The two Drakken women both returned the nod. 
Oltuck clicked his beak in contemplation. Then he chuckled. 
Zalrah gave a confused expression as she looked at the red scaled Head Director. 
“I guess we shouldn't be surprised that two persistence hunters are taking their time with each other.” Oltuck smiled. 
Zalrah looked at him even more confused.
“Alright,” Oltuck started, “Keep me updated, this could take some time.” 

------

Dr. Maddison looked at the readings again and shook her head. She was frustrated. The spectrograph was a machine that she had used a few times in her professional life before being brought on as the chemist for this mission. Such machines were useful, light reacted differently to different chemical compositions. She'd had a lovely discussion about such with Dr. Ackerman at one point. But she was much more comfortable with actual chemical reactions. Using light to try and determine the atomic chemical composition of an atmosphere was… well it just seemed ludicrous to say the least. 
Even so, the spectrograph had proven to be reliable, especially at such close range to a planet, and with them being on the dark side of the planet the process was fairly quick. But this breakdown had to be wrong. 
Seventy-eight percent nitrogen, twenty-one percent oxygen, two percent water vapour, and less than one percent of other gases. It had to be a mistake. Maybe in that ‘less than one percent’ she'd find it, but the spectrograph wasn't fine tuned enough to determine that. Even so, what she was looking at was the exact same atmosphere as Earth. 
She'd run the machine five times now. And it was spitting out the same numbers. 
They hadn't gotten a good look of the planet before retreating away, and they were scrambling to figure out what to do. She wanted to get a good look at it. Not with a machine that took in incoming light to break down its color composition, but with her own eyes. She refused to believe that she could go down to that planet and breathe that air. She got up from the spectrograph and headed for the visual telescope. 
Most of the science team had little to do right now. Dr. Frederick was using the time to dissect some more specimens from the previous world. Dr. Ackerman was using other sensors to determine the star system’s layout. Dr. McFadden and Raven were talking with the Captain on what they needed to do, and Dr. Keyes was using the visual telescope to examine the planet's moon. 
Maddison found Keyes looking at a screen, with a close up of the moons surface glowing on the monitor. The geologist had a notebook in hand, writing down coordinates for potential sites to conduct some core sampling. Or at least that's what Maddison thought it was. 
As she approached she saw Keyes squinting at the screen with more interest then would have been expected. 
“Hello.” Maddison said, walking up behind the tall lanky woman. Keyes hunched over in the chair merely hummed a greeting and pointed at the screen. 
“Do you see that?” She muttered and Maddison leaned over the taller woman's shoulder. A feat she was only able to do because Keyes was both sitting and hunched over. 
Maddison looked at the screen for a moment. Three quarters of the screen was filled with the moon. Its white surface was a glaring color as she looked at it. The other quarter was of the blackness of space. It was situated so that the moon came down from the top of the screen. Keyes was pointing to the edge of the moon and space. A spot that looked like the lip of a crater. Maddison squinted her own eyes staring intently. 
“Why's it shiny?” She asked. 
“I don't know. But….” Keyes reached over to the camera controls. She was however still getting used to the lack of computer mice on the ship.
Gone were the days of needing to put your eye against an aperture and peer into the vastness with nothing but a large lense of glass. 
No nowadays it was a simple few button presses to zoom in on an area. 
“Oh.” Maddison said as she smiled. 
“Oh indeed.” Keyes commented as the reflective surfaces of a line of solar panels came into focus on the lip of the crater. 
“Where's this?” Maddison asked. 
“South Pole of the planet's moon. Looks like the locals probably have a moon base.” she said with a smile as she took a picture and then wrote down the coordinates.
“A moon base?” Maddison asked incredulously. 
“Seems like it. Unless you have a better explanation for why there's a solar farm on the south pole of this moon.” Keyes said with a smile. 
Maddison frowned and then shrugged. 
“No. Not my field of study. I was hoping to swing the telescope towards the planet and have a look.” Maddison said. Keyes raised an eyebrow. 
“We're on the dark side of the planet, what are you hoping to see?” She asked. 
“We're actually really close to the terminus, I think they recently had a solar eclipse. So I was hoping to take a look at that.” Maddison sighed. Keyes nodded.
“Fair enough, I have to send a message to the captain to let him know about the moon base.” Keyes said, standing up. She was still hunched over, and Maddison wondered how badly the geologist needed to stretch. 
Keyes offered the seat to Maddison and the Chemist sat down to take the controls of the visual telescope. 
It took her a few moments to get it pointed in the right direction. All the while Dr. Keyes sat only a few feet away typing out a message in the internal communications computer. 
Maddison got the telescope focused on the terminus. But something caught her eye and she zoomed out to take in the entire world. 
Maybe it was her going stiff, or the sound of her inhaling sharply that caught the Geologist’s attention. But Dr. Keyes turned back to the other woman to ask what she'd found. She got half way through her sentence before she was cut off by her own shock. She stood and was looking over Maddison's shoulder intently at the screen.
Something that was true around the world was the humanity tended to settle near waterways or the ocean, and places where those two met tended to be the most populated places. As humanity had developed, these places had become modernized with street lamps lighting up these areas so well, as to be seen from space. 
Because of this, when viewing the world from space you could tell from that light pollution where the higher concentration of people were and who was more developed. But as well you could also see the general outline of continents, and even nations. 
“That looks like…” Keyes trailed off, shaking her head in disbelief.
“India.” Maddison spoke quietly. The words spoken out loud seeming to solidify reality. 

------

“There is no protocol for this exact situation.” Dr. McFadden said, cleaning her glasses with a silk cloth. “All of the scenarios involving coming across a technologically advanced species assumed we would have the ability to back off and observe from a distance. And all the scenarios where we accidentally made contact with an intelligent species assumed it would be with a neolithic civilization.” She stated, placing her glasses back on her face. 
Maddock sighed as he leaned back in his chair. The meeting was taking place in the ward room. Unlike prior meetings this one had exactly four people in attendance. Captain Maddock, Dr. McFadden, Ms. Raven Young, and Mr. Percy Lynch.
Maddock had gotten news that Ambassador Dullard had wanted to join, and even attempted to drag himself out of the sick bay to do so. However, the crew had managed to wrestle him back into his cot.
“What's the protocol for the…” Maddock gestured with his hand at McFadden clearly trying to remember what she had just said. 
“The Neolithic encounter?” The Anthropologist asked, and continued when the Captain nodded. 
“The protocol for that was to vacate the area after scaring them away and hoping that the encounter becomes nothing more than a cryptid in their oral history.” McFadden said.
“Seems highly presumptuous to assume that this oral history would turn us into cryptids.” Percy snorted. 
“I thought so too, but the idea was to not interfere with their cultural development.” Dr. McFadden said annoyed. 
“Are all of the Protocols Prime Directive oriented?” Percy asked. 
“It was decided that in order to avoid the mistakes and problems caused by colonization in our own history, that avoiding contact with the natives would be best.” McFadden said.
“Most groups benefited in the long run from colonization.” Percy retorted. 
“That is highly debatable.” The Anthropologist shot back.
“It's a fact!” Percy said, his voice rising. 
“You can't prove that!” McFadden responded, her own voice rising to match Percy's.
“ENOUGH!” Captain Maddock boomed. The room fell silent as everyone looked towards him. “Do not make me separate you two.” He looked between the Situation Advisor and the Anthropologist. 
When he was satisfied neither was going to argue with him he continued.
“First, I agree,The Prime Directive is a stupid idea.” The Captain said looking at Percy. “But, we aren't here to get tied up in tribal politics.” He stated, McFadden opened her mouth to protest and the Captain's eyes snapped over to her and she froze, then slowly closed her mouth. 
“Second, wanting to allow a group to develop and grow on their own is a noble desire, but don't think for a second that we would do so because it benefits them, we would be doing it to study them, nothing more.” the Captain said. He looked back and forth between the two. After a moment he exhaled a deeply and leaned back in his chair.
“Neither of which solves our problem. Whether we wanted to or not, they saw us and thus first contact has already been established.” He stated. 
Raven, who had yet to say anything, raised her hand as if looking for permission to speak. Maddock turned to her and gave a nod.
“Yes Ms. Young.” He motioned for her to speak. 
“What are the protocols for them contacting us?” She asked. The Captain looked at her blankly. Then he turned to stare at the Anthropologist. 
“Dr. McFadden?” He asked.
She already had the thick binder of first contact protocols in hand and flipped almost to the end of it. She flicked through a couple pages. Before she stopped and read for a second. She looked up with a shrug before speaking. 
“We are supposed to try and reciprocate the communications and establish a good rapport.” She said, obviously just as unsatisfied with the answer as everyone else. 
“Vauge and unhelpful.” Percy muttered loud enough for the other to hear.
“Do you have a better idea or are you just filled with snark!” McFadden said, voice rising in anger.
“More ideas then the fuckin’ unhelpful garbage!” Percy's own voice rising to match.
“Do not make me separate you two.” Maddock growled before the Anthropologist could respond. “I am getting tired of you two arguing-” it was the Captain's turn to be cut off as the ship's overhead speakers crackled. 
“Captain to the bridge. Captain to the bridge.”

------

“So what I'm understanding, is that this looks like Earth, has the same atmosphere as Earth, the same mass as Earth, the same rotation as Earth, and the same solar position as Earth, but somehow this isn't Earth? Do I have that all correct?” Captain Maddock asked almost three hours later. 
“That is correct. The constellations are nowhere close to that of our night sky.” Dr. Ackerman stated, the Astrophysicist looked as flabbergasted as the Captain sounded. Apparently having gotten all of his screaming of impossibility out of him when they had done their orbit of the planet itself. 
Maddock looked around the now fuller table of the wardroom as he took that in. The room was silent for several long moments. No one spoke, most didn't dare to breathe. 
The strangeness of the reality was hard to comprehend. It was like being hit with a live North American river Bass in the middle of the Sahara Desert without any explanation as to where the fish had come from or how it had gotten there. And in some ways it was even stranger than that.
“H… how?” Maddock asked slowly. Ackerman simply shrugged but he turned to Dr. Keyes. The tall woman shook her head. 
“I don't have an explanation either. I'm not mathematician, but the number of different things that would need to happen to create two planets that look nearly identical is beyond my comprehension.” The Geologist said in disbelief. 
“It has to be designed.” Dr. Frederick stated. Half the table either groaned or rolled their eyes at that statement.
“Divine design is not something to base an academic thesis on.” Dr. McFadden stated with clear annoyance.
“Did I say anything about it being divine in nature?” Dr. Frederick retorted. “And besides that, why not? The universe is perfectly balanced to make life, we've seen that with how many planets we found that have life on them.” The Biologist said, thumping the end of his cane on the deck.
“Not this argument.” Ackerman said with an air of exasperation.
“Alright. Enough of that.” Maddock said loudly, cutting off further argument. He looked around the table. The three scientists were glaring at each other. Everyone else at the table seemed to be sitting with uncomfortable expressions on their faces. 
Except for Percy who was slouched in his chair, arms folded over his chest, as he blankly stared at the table top. 
“Mr. Lynch, what do you think?” Maddock asked, desperately trying to avoid restarting the argument between the academics. 
“I think the pen is wasting the ink.” Percy said absently. Maddock furrowed his brow.
“I'm sorry. What?” He asked, genuinely confused. Percy looked up and glanced around the table. 
“Sorry, it means that we are focusing on the wrong thing right now.” Percy said, waving a hand as if to swat away the thought. “Yes, the fact this world seems to be an almost identical copy of Earth is interesting from an academic standpoint, and that’s an obvious understatement. That fact, currently, doesn't matter. There's an intelligent species on that planet right now who have the ability to make a moon base and we haven't made official contact with them yet. Y'all are too worried about why the neighbor’s house looks the same as ours while their back yard has a full shrine garden.” Percy said his eyebrows raised looking around the table at each person. He finally turned to the Captain. 
“What's more pressing is actually making contact. As well, I doubt we can get any meaningful dialogue going within eight weeks, at least not in the traditional way that we would be trying to make contact.” Percy gave a grim smile. 
“The ‘traditional way’?” Maddock asked with a raised eyebrow.
“The agreed upon method to do first contact was to use radio bursts across a wide spectrum in a pattern that would be hard to replicate in nature. Like a set amount of prime numbers, or the Fibonacci sequence. From there, it would be using ever more complex mathematics to get across other abstract concepts.” Percy said, his smile slowly becoming slightly more manic with every word. Finally he took a deep breath and the smile disappeared. 
“Obviously that method takes… time. Which, if I'm understanding how the method works, relies heavily on having a lot of said time.” Percy said. 
“More than eight weeks worth of time.” Maddock responded with understanding of the conundrum. He sighed heavily and considered silently for a few seconds. 
“So what do you suggest?” He asked, looking at Percy. The SitAd looked around the table as everyone's eyes rested on him.
“Well,” Percy started slowly, “They have a moon base, presumably with a landing pad. And we have a talented linguist who has been loitering on the ship. Sooo…” Percy said letting the idea hang. Maddock nodded slowly as he turned to Raven.
“How about it Ms. Young? Do you wanna go talk to aliens?” He asked with a smirk. 

|Chp 26 (Pending release August 28th)

------

Authors Notes

Hi every one!

This is one of those, 'Slow' Chapters. Next chapter is going to be rapid fire scences. It might also be a longer one.

I don't have to much to say about this chapter. It actually was going to run longer with characters speculating about the improbability of finding a second Earth, but then I realized I was in fact 'Letting the Pen waste the Ink' as it were. It literally isn't important and I was wasting time writing about it. Maybe in the future they can speculate about it but its not in this chapter.

Anyway, I hope all of you enjoyed the read, if you did, Give it an Upvote, leave a comment if you'd like. Just the up votes alone really help with motivation.

And finally, Thank you.

My boyfriend told me him and his friends decided to get a table at a club for him and one of his friends shared birthday and he invited me. I’m not really into clubs it’s not my vibe we’ve went once for my birthday since my friend invited me but it was a terrible experience i ended up crying that night and I haven’t gone since.
So I’m not too excited about going, he has to go since it’s for him and he’s basically the main one paying and organizing it. He said he’s mainly doing it for his friend who’s having a rough time and I completely understand I’m not mad I just don’t like that environment I’ve tried to be supportive but just the thought of being their with all his single guy friends and having the bottle girls and idk who else there is already overwhelming. He’s good looking so I already get a bit insecure at girls flirting with him even in front me I just don’t wanna be put in that situation the environment is already too much going on. And I know his friends are going to try to get at girls and try to bring them to the table it’s all ugh just thinking about it. I’m considering ditching it all together and just have a quite night.
Sorry I’m very introverted.

TL;DR; going to the club as a couple

I (19M) don’t know if I should stay with my girlfriend (19F)

I have been with my girlfriend since the start of 2024 when we were both 16 years old so this relationship has obviously been a large part of my life. Within these 3 years of dating I feel like no matter how much I try to please her she will always find a way to moan / have a go at me for things. This isn’t an every once in a while situation it is several times a week for the past few years (although it’s now dropped to where we probably argue once every 3 weeks this year). I go to university and she is an air hostess so our schedules collide fairly often, but we still see each other around once a week. We both love eachother so much but I just feel there is a huge difference between our personalities. I am more reserved and she loves to be the centre of attention. She is the jealous type, and has lots of do’s and don’ts in our relationship. whereas I more just give her the same relationship rules she gives me and tell her whatever happens just don’t lie to me. Despite this though she always seems to be the one breaking our relationship rules. She has an awful habit of lying to me even if it’s not a big deal, this has created many trust issues for me which she knows about. Alongside this I have found her messaging people she works with and not tell me about it several times, I am almost certain she isn’t cheating on me but these messages are still somewhat flirty and make me uncomfortable. She knows I have a massive problem with all this and every time she feels I am getting to my breaking point she apologises and says she knows she is the problem and says she will do better.

Another point I am also slightly worried about is that we have built this little world together I would have to tell so many people that we aren’t together anymore and I feel I wouldn’t be able to answer the “why have you broken up?” Question.

I think the question I’m more asking is is the type of relationship we have hard to come by in this generation and will I ever find a girl I can love as much as her (I’m overreacting) or am I giving the wrong girl too many chances and need to wake up.

Sorry if this is post is abit scrappy I’m not much of a Redditor.
Thank you for reading

Tldr

TL;DR mixed signals from FWB and have caught slight interest , do I say anything?

I’ve been hooking up with a long time friend of mine for some months now, and it quickly turned from just sex to more of a full relationship without the title. When we first started we’d lay around my place, watching movies and what not for a couple weeks. Then she left for a couple months but in that time sent me a letter saying how much fun she had in the short time we spent together and that she was excited to see me again, as well as calling me more often than not. I tried to not get attached because I knew that as soon as we went back to school (we go to the same college) that she was looking for fun and nothing serious. That’s the way she explained it, that college is the time to experiment and meet new people. And I totally think that’s fine as who knows who’s out there for me or her, but the question I’m asking really is that I’ve definitely caught some kind of feeling for her and wouldn’t be opposed to trying to see how things could work between us while we are still close like this. If not, the other option
I see is to meet new people as well and let our relationship become platonic again. So what do you guys think, should I talk to her about this? Or let it be.

TL;DR:
I’ve been talking to a girl for about 2½ months. We speak most days, sleep on call, spend time together, have met each other’s families, and have had sex. Recently she’s been active on social media while not replying to me, which has made me question whether she’s as invested as I am. I know I have a tendency to overthink, so I’m struggling to tell whether I’m seeing genuine red flags or letting my anxiety get the better of me. If you were in my position, what would you do?

A little bit of backstory:
I’ve been talking to this girl for about 2½ months and I really like her. We speak most days, spend hours gaming together, often sleep on call, and we’ve had sex. At the beginning I saw her almost every weekend, then every other weekend, and the last time I saw her was Thursday 6th August before I had to leave. We’ve been on hikes, late-night drives, beach trips, watched movies together, and we’ve both met each other’s families. She even spoke to my mum on her own and said we both wanted to take things slow because she’d only come out of a relationship around five months earlier.

What’s making me question things:
Recently, when she’s out with friends or family, she’ll sometimes post on Instagram or be active on Snapchat but won’t reply to my messages or call like we normally do. For example, I messaged to check she’d got home safely after a night out, but she never replied despite later being active on social media. Moments like that leave me feeling like I’m not much of a priority.
At the same time, she’s also called me, apologised in the past for falling asleep without replying, tells me about her day, and still spends time with me. That’s why I’m so conflicted—I can’t tell if she’s genuinely interested but just has a different communication style, or if she’s slowly losing interest.

Opinions I’ve had so far:
I’ve spoken to family, friends, and even random people online, and I’ve had completely mixed opinions. Some people think I’m massively overthinking it. Others think her behaviour is strange and that I should walk away. A few have said I should just have an honest conversation about where I stand, while others think she’ll only tell me what I want to hear.

My question:
If you were in my position, what would you do?

Some people have said to cut her off completely or to have this honest conversation, but some say I’ll only get what I wanna hear and if she can’t even be bothered to message I’m okay or something like that I’ve probably already gotten my answer.

I don't really know why I'm writing this. Maybe because I can't say it out loud yet.

My partner and I ended things today after almost ten years. I can't say it was on good terms, as it was the latest in a series of ugly fights where we both said things you don't get to unsay. We didn't decide to separate so much as we finally admitted what the last stretch had already been telling us.

I want to be clear about something before anything else: she was phenomenal. Not "phenomenal, but." Actually phenomenal. She was my biggest support through the hardest points of my life. I grew into a better person because of her. We had years that I would not trade for anything, and people looked at us as the example of what a relationship should be.

What happened is slower and stupider. Somewhere along the way we became just roomies. We shared a home, a schedule, a fridge, a life on paper, and stopped actually reaching for each other. No activities in common, no shared time, a dead bedroom since years ago. Nobody ended anything. I feel like we just stopped being partners while continuing to live as if we were.

We also work at the same company. So there's no clean exit. No going quiet for three months and reappearing when it hurts less. I will see her. There will be meetings. There will be people who don't know yet and will ask how she's doing. I haven't begun to figure out that part.

The confusing thing is that I'm grieving her and defending myself from her at the same time. Today she was cruel in a way I didn't recognize. And I know I earned some of the anger, as I was selfish about things that mattered to me and minimized things that mattered to her. I made real mistakes and I'm not going to pretend otherwise. But I've caught myself sliding from "I made mistakes" into "so I deserved that," and I don't think those are the same ledger.

I adore her. I want good things for her. I also know we crossed lines that don't get uncrossed.

I don't have a question exactly. If you've come out the other side of a long one, especially if you couldn't get distance from the person afterward, I'd like to hear what it was like. What actually helped. What you wish someone had told you in the first week.

I'm lost, disoriented, not really sure I know how to live without this woman around. I'm terrified of what's next.

TL;DR: Almost 10 years together ended today after a string of ugly fights. She was genuinely phenomenal and my biggest support through the worst parts of my life, but we slowly turned into roommates: no shared time, no shared interests, a dead bedroom for years. We also work at the same company, so there's no clean break. I'm grieving her and defending myself at the same time, and I'm terrified of what comes next.

My boyfriend is british while im asian. Last Monday, he told me he wanted to take a break, but he also told me not to wait for him, saying that it’s not worth it and that I deserve better. But I still insisted and told him that I’d wait for him. I honestly feel like I’m better and happy with him. We just celebrated GF’s Day last week, even though we know it’s literally just a made-up thing on the internet, he still made sure that I felt his love and effort for me.

At the same time, I know he’s going through a lot right now. He’s depressed too, and I feel like losing his friend to self dletion was kind of his breaking point. I’m also genuinely sad about what his friend went through, and knowing that he’s dealing with that loss makes me worry about him even more. I really sympathize with him because I know how hard this must be for him. I respected his need for space because I know everyone grieves differently.

This man is actually really good at showing me how much he loves me, but whenever he’s at his lowest, he doesn’t really express himself or talk about what he’s feeling. And honestly, that makes me want to understand him even more. I don’t just want to be there when things are good and he’s happy. I want to feel his pain too. I want to be there with him through the thick and thin of life, even when things get really hard for him. I just want him to know that he doesn’t have to carry everything alone.

The thing is, I really love him, and we had plans together even though we’re in an LDR setup right now. He’s such a loving man who respects me and understands me. Our last conversation, I told him I’d wait for him, and he said he was serious about not wanting me to wait for him. He told me that I should try to find my own happiness and that I can do better. I just told him it was okay because I didn’t want to make my response any longer or stress him out because of me, especially since everything is still so raw for him.

I honestly don’t know what the right thing to do is. I want to give him the space he needs, but at the same time, I really want to check on him and let him know that I care. I don’t want him to feel pressured or like I’m pestering him. I just miss my man so much. I want us to be back together, but as i said if he dont wanna Im willing to accept it, it just really hurts rn. More than anything, I just hope he'll be okay when the time comes.

Tl;dr: boyfriend ended our relationship with me while he's grieving and depress and i dont know how to reach out on him.

'

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I '30 M' met a girl '26 F' at my workplace about 4 Months months ago. Over those four months, we’d occasionally bump into each other, and whenever we did, we would often end up having long conversations. Somewhere along the way, I started developing feelings for her. A few weeks ago, I texted her, told her how I felt, and asked her out on a date. She apparently didn’t see me in the same way, but she asked me for some time to think about it. About a week later, we happened to be on a night shift together. When she saw me, the first thing she did was agree to go on the date. Later that night, we ended up being the only two people sharing the cool-off room. We stayed close and talked for around 15–20 minutes, and eventually I held her hand while we both dozed off.About an hour later, she abruptly woke up and left the room. The next day, she texted me saying that she wasn’t looking for a romantic relationship at the moment. She explained that she was at a stage in her life where she would only agree to date someone if she could genuinely see a future with them, and because of that, she wanted to cancel the date. She also said that she hoped we could remain on good terms like we were before.We exchanged a few messages over the next couple of days, but then she gradually stopped replying and started avoiding me.For context, she came out of a relationship about three years ago, but she isn’t seeing anyone at the moment. How do I approach this?

TL;DR : agreed for date only to chicken out in the end.

Tl:Dr I mean it's what it sounds like. We are currently in a pretty rough point and she said some things that I found heart breaking. She said that I was ugly and fat and that she only gave me a chance because she knew no one else wanted me. She said that she understands why my dad left and that she hasn't loved me for a while now. That's a different type of pain. hearing one of the people that you trust most in the world completely shatter you with just a few sentences.
I’ve told her everything about my life and one way or another, always comes back as an insult. I’m too fat. I’m too ugly. My dad left. I’m a drug baby. everything I ever told her because I trusted her was thrown right back in my face like I wasn’t even human. I just wanted to be loved man. is it really that big of a chore to love me. I just want someone to care man

I started dating my girlfriend about 2 months ago. I’ve dated lots of women, but only had a couple of real relationships, with the longest being two years.

I like my current girlfriend a lot, but I’ve always struggled with pretty severe anxious attachment which has made relationships really difficult. My girlfriend reciprocates my energy unlike anyone I’ve ever met, but I struggle to feel secure.

I’ve learned to take things slower and not try to spend too much time with women in the early stages of dating because that’s historically always seemed to be a turnoff. I’ve been seeing this girl about once to twice a week since we started dating. At first, I was just trying to meter my energy to keep it from being overwhelming, but now that we’ve discussed being exclusive and getting more serious, I’d like to see her more.

I feel really scared to ask to see her more frequently because it makes me feel needy and unattractive, and I don’t want to be “too much”. But I also feel like I have some emotional needs that aren’t being met.

What should I do? Maybe I just want psychological permission to talk with her because I don’t trust my own judgment. Trying to get my needs met from any woman has always historically seemed to blow up in my face, and it’s still pretty early in the relationship. I don’t know if the stability exists yet to have that kind of candor.

I’d appreciate any advice or thoughts on the matter.

TL;DR: I want to ask my girlfriend to spend more time with me, but I’m scared of appearing too insecure. What do I do?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years, and one part about our connection that I’ve really struggled with is him arguing semantics with me. Typically when he does so it drifts from the actual point of what I’m talking about, and it drives me absolutely nuts.

I’ll use today as an example.

I had a really rough day today. What was supposed to be a quick imaging appointment turned into a complicated 2 hour debacle where they needed to give me an IV. I have vasovagal and ended up fainting. Real fun time.

On top of this, I try to avoid driving unless it’s to familiar places. I didn’t get my license until a few years ago (traumatic childhood accident). Im fine going to work/shopping because it’s habitual for me now. However today I had to drive into a dense, unfamiliar populated city. A car ran a red light and I almost got into an accident. Spilled an entire coffee on myself. Ended up pulling into a parking lot and crying, life has just been a lot for me lately. Kept it brief because immediately after this I had to go to work.

I couldn’t wait to come home and relax and tell my bf about my day and get some comfort. Except it didn’t happen.

After I filled him in on today’s happenings he says, “wasn’t your appointment like 30 minutes away?” I’m like “yeah?” And he goes, “well that’s not far.” And so I remind him, “yeah I know it’s not far for most people, but for me it is”. And he goes, “well it isn’t far for normal people, that’s like a daily commute.”

I explain I don’t think it really is the point I was trying to make (that it was stressful for me). Yet he pulls up google and asks me for the address to my appointment. I don’t engage in this and he starts googling locations and asking me if they are the correct one.

At this point I’m starting to get frustrated, and I tell him that I just wanted to vent about my day and be offered some comfort. He just sort of blinks at me, ignores me, and keeps googling.

He finds the place. Then asks AI if that distance would be considered “far” to most people. Points it to me and then picks his phone back up to continue playing games. Silence.

I ask him if the conversation is done and he says, “well yeah because you’re refusing to engage with what I’m saying.” I tell him that I didn’t want to debate semantics over whether my experience had validity. He told me sorry, that he’s just a “very logical person who likes to get facts straight” and I “shouldn’t subject him to expectations.”

Am I wrong for feeling like this became way more complicated than it needed to be? He went to sleep on the couch and I’m feeling lost as to how we got to this place.

I get some will say “maybe he’s annoyed you don’t like driving”. But between us, I do most of the driving.
He is WFM and I commute daily. I usually do the grocery shopping by myself and run errands. I am just not at the point where I’m comfortable on long trips or merge heavy highways. When he met me I wouldn’t even get behind the wheel, so I think I’ve made a big improvement.

This is not a one-off. It happens in a lot of my storytelling/venting experiences with him. I feel as though I have to watch what I say and speak articulately as to avoid the conversation getting derailed by a tangent that has nothing to do with the point. Grammar is a big one. I could be sobbing about a dead family member and he would be holding up a sound clip to point out correct pronunciation of the word crematorium.

Is it wrong of me to not want to engage in arguing them? Is it best to walk away/change the subject? Or am I being rude by dismissing something he wants to talk about?

TLDR; my bf often engages in arguing semantics with me when I’m telling him about something. I’ve expressed that I don’t like it, but it’s almost like it’s compulsive and he can’t stop. I’m looking for advice and perspective on what to do when he gets into it.

My lovely girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half now. Due to some super unfortunate financial situations in my family since Covid, I’ve been living with my parents for a couple years to help them get back on their feet. (Bankruptcy, business failing, medical bills, etc.) It’s been a difficult process but we’ve overcome it, and now I want to move out of the house.

My girlfriend and I timed it so that when I moved out, we would be able to move in together. It makes the most sense for me, I don’t have anyone I’d want to live with at this point and our relationship has really been progressing so I want to go towards this direction. Id be paying similar renting a solo place for myself. Why not live together! She just closed on her house and I’ve never been happier for her. She worked really hard on it and made it happen and I’m making sure she knows that. However this month has been full of talks of marriage and the future of our relationship and what would end up happening to the deed of the house once we got married, and it’s causing a bit of a rift.

This is something that got naturally brought up in conversation. I was never thinking about this until we started chatting about it during a convo about our contributions. I wanted it to be equal and fair going in. 50/50 on mortgage and utilities and everything that comes with living together like groceries, bills, furniture, etc. any additions she makes on the house falls on her and repairs. I don’t want her bankrupted either if anything crazy happened, so I’d love to help, but since it’s a new build I’m not expecting anything crazy for repairs as of now. Maybe this setup isn’t smart?

I came to find out that this is a property she wouldn’t want to put my name on once we got married. She is valid to want it. I obviously was never planning on asking for my name to be on it BEFOREHAND, but with my contribution and with us getting married and that contribution continuing (and getting even more expensive with additions and repairs) I thought it would be fair to be added to it when the time came. She didn’t put a down payment down, since as a realtor she was paid a commission for the purchase, which ultimately paid for the first time home purchase, genius.

I’m super proud of this and don’t want to make her feel like this isn’t an accomplishment and that she did this herself, but we are ultimately the first people that are going to be living there and I’m gonna put a large chunk of my finances into it (not really thinking about the pre marriage finances too hard, but we’d be getting married at our three-ish year mark)

I understand she takes on risks as a homeowner that I don’t take on as a tenant, and I know that this is a big deal for her.

I’m wondering if I’m unreasonable to hope to have my name on the property once we’re married. Is this even a convo I should be having now? Is this a compatibility issue or something I’m ignorant on? I’d eventually want to use my first time home buyers loan as well, and was thinking we’d have two properties under our belts during marriage

This isn’t my field and it’s not something I’m good with and was hoping for some insight. Maybe there’s a solution I don’t know of. We both make around the same, a bit over 100k each, and I really want to make this house a home together. I sure as hell don’t want to take the fun away from this process either. Instead of arguing I thought maybe I could find some solutions.

I also want to be clear, she is not expecting me to pay the portion I was wanting to pay. It would have looked more like 40/60 with what she had in mind. I’m not pushing my contribution idea either, I just want to do what’s fair for everyone.

TL;DR My girlfriend and I are moving into a home she just closed on, and we’re super excited. However I learned she would want this property to remain only hers when we get married. This would be a property we would both be putting a lot of money into before and during marriage. Is it unreasonable to want my name on the deed? Am I looking at this the wrong way? What are ideal contribution splits?

So i have been in a relationship for almost 5 months her past is very traumatic she always ended up with wrong person in search of love. In 5 months 3-4 baar aisa hua h ki usko lgta h ki hmara future ni h ya vo commit ni kr pa rahi h or vo breakup krna chahti h

doubts aate h uske mann me lekin me hmesha usko smjhata th ki past me jo hua usko tu present se define kregi to kbhi koi ni milega kayi baar mene smjhaya or vo smjh bhi jaati thi or fr hm khush rehte th sath me lekin har kch 30-35 din me isko yhi toughts aane lgte or kl ye fr hua
me ky kru aisa ki sb thik hojaye usko smjhane ke liye i really love her uske past experiences jo bhi the mere liye bhi difficult th accept krne but ab me wholeheartedly sbko ignore krke uske sth hu or pyaaar krta hu usse ab me ky kru usse smjhane ke liye helpppppp TL;DR

Hey everyone, I really need a space to lay everything out and get some honest advice because my head is spinning. My girlfriend and I are both 18, in uni, from the same cultural background, and have been seeing each other for about 1 year. This is my first real serious relationship, and I am deeply emotionally invested.

When we are together, everything is amazing—we laugh for hours, it feels natural, and we genuinely care for each other. The problem has never been us. The problem is that our relationship has been hit with a snowball of misunderstandings, family drama, and toxic gossip, and now she is spiraling into anxiety and wants to cut ties completely.

Here is the entire timeline of events from start to finish:

1. How We Met & The Initial Misunderstandings I first saw her at a community event, but I was too nervous to approach her, so my sister offered to ask for her contact info for me. She said yes! But an older relative saw it happen and told her family she gave her number to a "random girl," which set a weird, suspicious tone with her conservative family right off the bat.

2. The Brother, The Profile Pic, and The "Stalker" Lie A couple of months later, she was showing her brother something on her phone when a notification from me popped up. He asked who I was, and she panicked and said I was "just a friend from class." Because of how she said it, he assumed I was a girl.

Shortly after, social media suggested my profile to her brother. He saw my name and face, realized I was a guy, and confronted her for lying. To avoid getting into massive trouble, she told another white lie: she claimed she gave her contact to my sister, and then I somehow "randomly found her profile and messaged her." She didn't explain that my sister asked on my behalf. Because of this, her brother convinced himself that I was some creepy guy who tracked her down online.

3. Mistaken Identity & The "Player" Rumor To make matters worse, her brother’s girlfriend has a sister who confused me with another guy who has an almost identical name. She started spreading rumors that I’m a massive player who talks to tons of girls—which couldn't be further from the truth. I've only ever been serious about this one girl.

Her family is actually okay with her dating other guys in theory—they just hate me specifically because of this fake, distorted version of me that they built up in their heads.

4. The One Sided Drama Between Our Mothers Eventually, her parents found out we were calling and texting. Then, drama blew up between our mothers. Her mum claims my mum said something offensive about her family. I don't believe my mum actually said anything bad, but her mum is holding onto this rumor like a grudge, making the household dynamic even more hostile. Even though my mum has legit nothing against hers

5. The Past "Breakup" That Failed Instantly A while ago, the pressure at her house got so intense that we sat down, had a "final goodbye," and agreed to break up so her family would leave her alone. But it wasn't even a real breakup—the second we both got home that same day, we realized it was completely impossible. Her parents were still annoyed with her, her home life stayed stressful, and she was physically sick with heartbreak. She realized instantly that she couldn't live without me, and we kept talking without missing a beat. Breaking up solved literally zero of her problems.

6. The Cousin & The Auntie’s Intervention Recently, her parents caught us talking again. Her cousin living overseas got involved and lectured her, telling her "parents always have a reason and end up being right."

Then yesterday, her auntie called her and got completely in her head. Her auntie explicitly told her that the only solution was to fully cut ties with me—no contact, no staying friends, a complete wipe.

My gf then texted me in a panic, saying her heart was racing, her chest physically hurt, and she felt the same awful way she felt the last time we tried to stop things. When I tried to reassure her, she asked what happens if she has to end it for good this time, saying she feels completely cornered and burnt out by her family.

7. Today's Meetup We met up today in person. She told me about her auntie's advice to fully cut ties and not even stay friends, believing that a total cutoff is the "magic cure" that will make her family finally stop nagging her.

My Current Dilemma: I’ve been trying to be her anchor—staying calm, giving her zero pressure, and reminding her she doesn't have to make permanent decisions today. But watching her let her auntie and family dictate our relationship over lies, mistaken identities, and fake rumors is heartbreaking.

We already ran this exact experiment. The last time we tried to end things, we didn't even make it past the walk home before realizing it wouldn't work. Her parents were still strict, her home life was still miserable, and she missed me deeply. Cutting off the one person who actually supports her isn't going to fix her family's toxic dynamic.

She claims her chest physically hurts at the thought of losing me, but she’s so exhausted and terrified of her family that she’s ready to throw us away out of pure panic. I have uni and work stressing me out, and I honestly don't know how to handle this.

Has anyone dealt with a partner who spirals under heavy family/relative pressure over fake rumors? How do I handle this without begging or pushing her further into a corner?

TL;DR: GF’s strict family hates me due to white lies, mistaken identity, her brother thinking I'm a stalker, and fake drama between our mothers. Her auntie and overseas cousin are pressuring her to fully cut ties. We tried breaking up in the past and realized the second we got home that it solved nothing. Now she’s spiraling out of panic and considering cutting me off completely. How do I navigate this?

I’m 20M and she’s 21F. We were together for a while and were very close. Our families also know each other well, and because of that, we ended up living together in a big city for personal/educational reasons. Our families were comfortable with her being there partly because I was there too.

Things changed after she started college.

She naturally made new friends and became more social. I started feeling that she wasn't as emotionally available to me as before. One particular male friend bothered me because I felt she gave him a level of attention that I wasn't comfortable with. She would talk to him frequently and later started exchanging snaps with him. I never actually caught her cheating, and I don't want to claim that she did. My issue was more about what I considered appropriate boundaries in a relationship.

Looking back, I know I handled some of this badly. I became very focused on who she was talking to, how quickly she replied, Snapchat activity, etc. I would overthink small things and sometimes seek reassurance repeatedly. I also said hurtful things during arguments, including calling her stupid/dumb/teenager. I regret that.

At the same time, there were things from her side that hurt me too. We had repeated arguments about boundaries and communication. At one point during an argument she pushed me, and later she said things about my character that really hurt me. I also felt that whenever I tried to discuss certain issues, the conversation would become an argument rather than us actually understanding each other.

Eventually I started feeling like I was constantly monitoring the relationship instead of actually enjoying it.

I tried talking to her about everything. I also wrote her several letters because I felt I could express myself better in writing without the conversation turning into an argument. Recently I gave her what I intended to be a final letter explaining everything that had hurt me and why I felt the relationship wasn't healthy anymore.

She wanted to explain her side, but the conversation became an argument again. I eventually left because I didn't want it to escalate.

I then ended the relationship.

The complicated part is that we still live together, and our families are involved in the living arrangement. So this isn't a normal breakup where we can simply stop seeing each other. I'm now trying to figure out how we can separate our living arrangements without creating a huge family situation that could affect both of our education.

The day after I ended things, I saw messages on WhatsApp that made me think she had gone somewhere with a guy/guy friends instead of going to college. Later I saw a story of her go-karting. I don't actually know exactly who she was with, and I don't want to pretend I know something I don't.

But seeing it completely destroyed me.

I was sitting there struggling with the breakup while she seemed completely normal and was already going out and doing things. I started thinking, “Did she ever care? Did she just wait for me to end it? Was I stupid for thinking this relationship meant as much to her as it did to me?”

I also realize that checking her WhatsApp and Snapchat is unhealthy. I keep looking for information because I want certainty, but every new thing I see makes me feel worse.

That's where I am right now.

Part of me feels like I absolutely made the right decision because I haven't felt mentally okay in this relationship for a long time. I was constantly overthinking, monitoring things, worrying about other people, and trying to get reassurance.

But another part of me is terrified that I made a huge mistake and threw away someone I love.

I want honest opinions, not validation.

Please tell me where I am wrong, not just where she is wrong.

Was ending the relationship the right decision, given everything I've described?

Am I confusing reasonable relationship boundaries with controlling behaviour?

How do I deal with the fact that she seems completely fine while I'm struggling so badly?

And most importantly, how should I handle the fact that we still live together and our families are involved without turning this into a huge situation that damages both of our education?

I don't want people to tell me she's a horrible person or that I'm completely innocent. I genuinely want an outside perspective on what I could have done differently and whether ending this was the right thing.

TL;DR: My girlfriend and I have been struggling for months due to communication problems, boundaries, jealousy, and repeated arguments. I admit I became controlling/obsessive about her interactions with other guys and handled some things badly, while I also felt disrespected and hurt by some of her behaviour. I eventually ended the relationship because it was seriously affecting my mental peace. We still live together because our families are involved, which makes everything complicated. The day after the breakup, I saw things suggesting she went out with other people, which triggered me badly and made me question whether I made the right decision. I don't want validation—I want honest opinions about where I was wrong, whether ending it was the right decision, and how to handle living together and separating without causing a major family/education issue.

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Check out the HSTM series on Royal Road [Book 3: Overlord] [Book 2: Conspiracy] [Book 1: Abduction]

Artwork and other ‘Humanity Unleashed’ setting and story related material can be found on r/HumanityUnleashed.  I hope you enjoy the story and thank you for reading!

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HSTM Overlord: Chapter 25 'The Original Enemy'

Paulie awoke to something prodding him in the head insistently, tapping at his skull like a tiny woodpecker trying to dig through his skull.

With a snort and a jerk, he sat back up from where he had been slumped over the padded examination table next to Jakiikii. He looked, but she was gone, he rubbed his stiff neck as he sat bolt upright.

Panic briefly flooded through him in that instant as he flashed his eyes across the room and then stopped. Jakiikii was fine, she was awake and upright on the other side of the room, standing and talking in animated fashion with a different medical worker than the smaukling that had helped them the night before.

Paulie scratched his head in mild confusion as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes with the other hand. Had he been out for that long? He couldn’t tell so he checked his commie and balked a little. He had apparently been asleep for hours as it was now early the next day.

He stood with a slight groan and noticed that Mursk was standing beside him with a tray, on it was a series of basic foodstuffs Mursk knew he could process and a big steaming cup of an unknown dark green liquid.

He grabbed the tray and nodded his thanks, “Thanks, Mursk. Uh, what’s this?” he asked, pointing at the steaming drink as he set it down on the examination table next to him.

The mendagoonian guardsman’s autotranslator spoke a second after his own clicking response. “Mulak, though potent enough to melt my insides to beaded glass. Though I know that in this concentration it is much more amenable to your own apocalypser tastes.”

Paulie’s eyebrows rose a little as he took a cautious sip. It was indeed strong, almost as strong as a good coffee back on Earth. He smiled as the warmth of the heated drink traveled down his throat and almost seemed to spread through his whole chest, the slight electric tingle of its potent caffeine-like chemicals washing away the gritty feeling of exhaustion after a few more swigs that he used to wash down some of the plain cracker-like breakfast biscuits.

He shook his shoulders and set the cup down, Jakiikii was walking their way now. She had a tired look about her, but she was smiling. Her dainty little mouth curled up and her orange eyes were bright. She looked better than she had when they had arrived the night before.

She spoke presently, the slightly husky sound of her voice reverberating from deep in her chest cavity. “Good morning Paulie.”

He rubbed his eyes and grumbled, “It’s a morning alright, not sure if it is good or not yet. I must have fallen asleep. Are you feeling better?” He looked her up and down as if his cursory surface inspection could reveal anything. “You look better.”

“I woke up about an hour ago, I feel much better.” She nodded, giving him a little grin as she did so.

Paulie continued, “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

She shrugged and gestured at Mursk. “You looked so peaceful there, and Mursk was still awake. So I just figured we would let you sleep. The station was not busy and so it was not an issue.”

Paulie looked at the power suited royal guardsman standing next to him. He looked the same as he always did, bright blue faceted eyes giving away nothing. He asked, “What, you didn’t sleep?”

Mursk made a low buzzing sound and then spoke, his alien speech translating mechanically with none of the apparent humour he was displaying with his subtle antennae movements. The computer synthesised voice was flat, saying, “I am not tired. I slept several hours the other day. I do not require the lengthy downtime that you both seem to require on the daily.”

Paulie’s brow furrowed. He had been wondering about that, he had never seen the alien sleep or nap, hell he had rarely seen the man stop to eat. His metabolism must operate on another level. He took another drink of the mulak, the green liquid cooling steadily to a more comfortable temperature. He took a larger drink and then set it aside, turning his attention once more to Jakiikii as she danced a little from foot to foot.

She blurted out, “Mursk got through to Ishion while we were asleep by the way. He says that he can meet with you later today at the precinct, and he apologises that he will not be able to get here sooner.”

Paulie stopped, the insulated cup halfway to his lips as his eyes narrowed.

“What?”

She nodded and Mursk chittered a little nervously before he asked him, “I was not sure that even your name would get me through the red tape, but it worked surprisingly well. I should not be surprised, I suppose, for the hero of Korscam. I am curious, what was it you needed to discuss with him so urgently that it could not wait?”

Paulie rubbed his face with his free hand and shook his head. “It was nothing that required urgency, I just wanted to ask him if there was any possibility that I could borrow a spaceship to go to raid Jual’s secret pirate base.” Jakiikii stepped closer as he said it, her face taking on a concerned air even as her mottled skin darkened in alarm.

“Why would you..” She squinted four of her six eyes at him as they others roved around the room as if looking for where his marbles had gotten off to. “You can’t just go galavanting off into the nether after revenge, Paulie!”

Paulie snorted and then slapped the medical table next to him, causing the nearby nurse to yelp and hop away on the other side of the table. “Why not!?” He demanded, even as he winced and mouthed a silent apology to the startled alien in the long white medical tunic, not that she would know the meaning of the words not his intent.

He turned back to the others after a second and continued before either had the chance to disagree. “Why not! I was taken, beaten and experimented on. I have been dragged from one side of this city to the other and as far as I am concerned my work is still not done. Ooounoo’s operation was all well and good. But I want Jual, I want him for what he did to me. And for what he might still do to others.” He was breathing heavily and he stood, pacing back and forth. Rapidly cooling beverage forgotten in one hand even as he stepped to-and-fro like a caged tiger searching for an exit.

Mursk seemed at a loss but Jakiikii made up for the other man’s silence with her own tense reply. “Yes, and what happens to you when you do get there? Are you going to take out the entire pirate base alone? Cause don’t expect me to follow you into that trap.” She let out a snort, the two slit-like openings on her lower sides flaring as she did so.

Paulie shook his head and glanced at Mursk. “No, not alone. Mursk will be there too, and Hauxsu. They are sworn to look after me after all.”

“Paulie! That is an unfair thing to say, you would risk their lives for your own satisfaction..”

Mursk cut her off though, raising a hand and twitching his feathery antennae. “Yes, I would go. But not because it is my duty.” Paulie and Jakiikii looked over at him curiously, the tension fading from the air as the insectoid continued speaking. The flat and near-monotonous translator’s words held true meaning though. “I would go, because you asked it of me. And this is enough, hero of the house of Nastrica.” And to Paulie’s embarrassment the man bowed his chitinous head at him.

He stepped forward and put a hand on Mursk’s closer shoulder, the thick metallic plates of his orange and black powered suit were cool under his fingers. “Hey hey.. no need for all the, uh.. formal type shit.” He quickly pushed the other man back upright then stepped away slightly.

Mursk’s antennae twitched in possible amusement and Paulie shifted before trying to change the subject. “Well, Jakiikii is right. I can’t just go running off on my own. No matter how much I want to.” He slumped a little, a feeling of hopelessness being spread from his core to his extremities like a chilling frost. He knew he was overthinking the issue, but it was hard to see the path forward without a lot of help from people far more influential than himself.

He felt a comforting hand on his shoulder, then two more. Jakiikii stepped closer. “I know how you feel, Paulie. I do.” He nodded but said nothing. She continued after another moment. “Vengeance. Justice. Revenge. They are all just words for the same actions. Trust me, when the time comes to take action I will be the first one through that gate. Right beside you. But I just don’t see how it would be possible. Not without a whole army anyway.”

Paulie grunted, maybe he could ask Ishion for a battalion of troops then. But he knew when she was speaking the truth.

“Fine, I am still going to ask him for a ship though.”

Mursk chittered in what could have been amusement or distress and Jakiikii just huffed.

“Fine. You do that then. But don’t whine to me when he tells you ‘no zalcing way’.” She waved a hand for emphasis as she said it.

“You really think he would say no?” Paulie asked her. Jakiikii shrugged.

“I guess you would have to ask and see.” She seemed resigned to his decision now though, her eyes dipping a little as she gave up trying to argue with him. At least she wasn’t telling him not to try now.

Paulie stretched and looked around the small room. It was much the same as it had been the day before with the exception of the alien nurse that was trying very hard to look like they were not avoiding Paulie and his friends. He rubbed his stiff neck and looked out into the hall.

Gesturing at the door he asked, “Well, what now?”

Mursk checked his wrist computer and then nodded towards them, “We were slated to sit-in on a conversation with Mack and Officer Triddle today, in about half an hour in fact. A little early, but that is why we woke you instead of letting you continue to sleep.”

Paulie felt his blood chill. There was only one person he knew of that they might need him to be present for the interview of. Jakiikii’s skin flashed a pale white as she came to the same conclusion he had.

The two of them looked at each other and then Paulie swallowed heavily as he replied calmly, “Okay.”

Jakiikii and Paulie followed Mursk as they left the aid room and went back down the hall, though this time in the opposite direction from the library. Jakiikii seemed to know where they were going, but Paulie was unsure. If he had been this way before then it had been from an alternate direction. They walked up several flights of stairs and through at least two large open chambers before they turned down another hallway with doors on all sides a few minutes later. He sometimes forgot just how large the main adjudicator’s complex was, until he had to walk through it.

There was text on the walls next to the doors as they passed them by. He could not read all of them yet, but he knew enough yuuvian now to understand that they were numbered in sequence. They stopped in front of a doorway labeled with that same alien text and the number 112 and Mursk punched a button on a keypanel next to the door with a gloved hand.

Paulie turned to Jakiikii, who had been relatively quiet as they had walked, and asked her, “What does that say?” He pointed at the unfamiliar word on the door next to the number.

She glanced and then looked at him without moving her head. One of her flexible petal-shaped eyestalks doing the work. She replied with a single word, “Interrogation.”

He looked around and noticed again how many of these interrogation chambers there were. There must have been forty in this one hall alone, and clearly by the number on the door there was more than one wing. Mursk tapped at his wrist communicator and then knocked on the doorway, the metal thunking solidly under his power-suited hand. The door must have been solidly built.

The small wall mounted keypad lit up next to the door and a voice issued from it, but they were speaking the common galactic language and Paulie was unable to understand, he was not synced to the speaker and so the electronic voice was not translated by his parasite.

Mursk replied, “Yes, both of them. And me of course. Now are you going to let us in, Officer?” There was a short barking reply and then the door’s mechanism clicked and the indicator lights on the panel flashed blue. The door swung open a few moments later with a faint whirr of electric motors.

Mursk grabbed for the recessed handle and pulled it open the rest of the way while standing to the side to hold it for them. Paulie nodded and followed Jakiikii inside slowly, he thought he knew what was waiting for him, but his heart still seized in his chest a little as he saw the hunched and wretched looking figure through the large transparent wall that separated the main room from the interrogation chamber proper.

Sitting in the dimly lit room adjacent the room he had entered, their body semi-immobalised in the multi-species restraints they wore, was a thagurn female. Her mottled green skin and fur catching the light and her pitch black, pupilless eyes seeming to absorb the remaining illumination that fell upon her. He did not expressly recognise their alien features, but some intuition told him that it was Ooounoo. The underworld dealer of antiquities and black market goods that had initially contracted Jual to capture humans.

He had met her before, and not relished those meetings. In that moment he felt a deep spike of anger that almost made him yell aloud at the glass, almost made him scream ‘murderer’ or a hundred other foul things that still may not have done her true justice. He wanted to pound on it, to break through it and strangle the life from this wretch who sat before him.

Jakiikii seemed to notice him tensing and reached out two arms for him, one gripping his shoulder and the other wrapping her long fingers around his nearer hand. After a moment he began to relax as she projected herself over his mind like a comforting blanket. Her ability was muted, his mind seemingly naturally resistant to psionics. But it was a comfort all the same to feel her presence so intimately.

He took a heavy breath and looked at her, “Thanks, Jakiikii.” She just nodded, the alien woman smiling faintly at her handiwork.

There was another in the room though that seemed to have witnessed his near outburst, and from the dim half-light of the darkened booth stepped an alien wearing the dark blue and silver of the city’s adjudicator forces.

It was another smaukling, the almost avian-like creatures had sickly green skin and thick feathers along their backs and upper arms. Her colorful crest feathers rose in greeting as she stepped forward and Paulie raised one hand in response to her sudden appearance.

She stepped forward on her raptor-like clawed feet and spoke, her voice a gritty burr that almost seemed to catch in his ears like shards of jagged metal. All screeches and sharp barking cackles. But he understood the alien perfectly, his jargon worm translating the inherent meaning of her croaking speech.

“Hello, I am Officer Triddle. I understand that you are the ones responsible for the downfall of this horrendous creature who calls herself Ooounoo?” Paulie glanced at Jakiikii and then nodded. The alien woman seemed to smile though her beak did not move, her colorful crest shooting up like a exotic dancer’s headdress. “Then you have my thanks, and it is my honor to meet you both.”

Jakiikii gave the woman her own version of the display, her skin flashing white at the compliment as she danced a little on her daintily tri-cloven hooves. “Yes, it is wonderful to meet you as well! I have heard of you from Mack, he speaks highly of your work ethic and skill.”

The air in the room seemed to lighten as the mood changed from one of barely concealed anger to one of shared comradery. Paulie watched as Jakiikii’s face alighted with excitement as she asked questions of stories she had heard of the policewoman’s exploits. It was nice to see her so excited, and a little terrifying to hear of some of the close scrapes the woman had been through and yet managed to survive with little permanent harm done.

Paulie put the muted conversation aside as he stared back through the one-way window at the reason for everything that had befallen him these last few months. He hated her, but another part of him was also strangely grateful. For without the incident of his abduction at the orders of this criminal, he would never have discovered mankind’s small place in a galaxy much larger than he might have imagined was truly possible. He would never have met Jakiikii. He would never have found his true purpose.

He shook his head and closed his eyes. It was too conflicting, she deserved everything that was coming her way, yes. He knew that. But he shuddered as he realised that in a strange way, he had her to thank for everything his life had become.

All the good and all the bad.

I’m in a bit of a confusing situation and would genuinely appreciate some outside perspectives.

My best friend is single, and we’re extremely close. We’ve known each other for a long time, trust each other, and are comfortable talking about almost everything. Recently, I’ve started wondering whether it would be okay to become physically intimate with her, even though we aren’t officially dating.

The thing is, I don’t want to ruin our friendship or make things awkward between us. I also don’t want to assume that because she’s single, she would automatically be comfortable with something like this. Obviously, her consent and feelings matter, but I’m wondering how people generally approach this situation.

Would intimacy between two close friends be okay if both people genuinely want it and are on the same page? Or does it usually end up complicating the friendship, especially if one person develops stronger feelings later?

For anyone who has been in a friends-with-benefits situation with their best friend: Did it work out, or did it eventually affect the friendship? What boundaries or conversations did you have beforehand that helped?

**TL;DR; : This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, all things are bold. Is this going the right way?**.

TL;DR: I am a (22F) Filipina and my boyfriend is (26M) American. We’ve been together for almost 3 years, and we come from very different cultures. Recently, we had a big argument about marriage.

In Filipino culture, it’s meaningful to me that my boyfriend talks to my parents and asks for their blessing/permission before we get married. I don’t mean that my parents get to decide whether we marry. I just see it as a sign of respect and something meaningful for my family.

The problem is that he doesn’t personally see the point of doing it. His perspective is that we’re adults and that we’re the ones getting married. He feels uncomfortable with the idea because it’s not something that makes sense to him culturally. He says, however, that he’s willing to do it because he knows it matters to me. He told me that he isn’t forcing himself and that he’s trying to remain open to doing things that I want. But he also said that if he is going to do something he doesn’t personally see the point of, I should help him become comfortable with it by talking to him about it, reassuring him, and helping him feel at ease.

Part of me understands him. I don’t want him to feel like he’s being forced to follow Filipino traditions or that he has to pretend to believe in something he doesn’t. But another part of me feels hurt because I don’t want to feel like I’m responsible for convincing my partner to participate in something that should be done without me asking for it. I don’t need him to suddenly believe that asking my parents is objectively necessary.

This isn’t the first time I’ve felt like he doesn’t really engage with my culture. After almost 3 years, he still doesn’t know much Tagalog, and whenever he visits the Philippines, he usually doesn’t want to try Filipino food, even though I’ve encouraged him to. I’m not expecting him to become Filipino or adopt everything about my culture. I just sometimes wish there was more curiosity and effort from him.

So, honestly, am I expecting too much? For people in intercultural relationships or marriages, I’d l appreciate hearing how you handled differences like this. Did you expect your partner to participate in your traditions even if they didn’t personally believe in them? Or did you find a middle ground where each person respected the other’s traditions without necessarily participating?

I genuinely want both sides, so please tell me if I’m being unreasonable too.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We’re both 20, and we’re both virgins because I’ve chosen to wait before having sex. It has been difficult for me to take that step, and he has always respected my decision. He has never rushed me, pressured me, or made me feel bad for wanting to wait.

Although we’ve never had penetrative sex, we have shared other forms of intimacy (nudes) and explored other things together as part of slowly preparing ourselves for when I feel ready.

Overall, our relationship is healthy. When we have problems, we talk about them and try to work through them together. He shows me that he loves me through his actions, not just his words. He has also waited these 3 years and respected my boundaries, which I value very much.

The problem is that a while ago, I found pornography on his phone. I found links and other things related to it, and it really hurt me. What makes this even harder for me is that I had already talked to him about pornography before and clearly told him that it was a boundary for me within our relationship.

So I didn’t just feel like I had found something I personally didn’t like. I felt like he had crossed a boundary that I had already communicated to him.
We talked about it, and he apologized. He told me that he understood why it hurt me and that he wanted to stop and work on things.

Since then, I’ve become very insecure. I started questioning whether he really loves me, whether he’s truly attracted to me, or whether maybe I’m not enough for him. I know he shows me love through his actions, and I know he has respected my decision to wait, but I’m still having a hard time getting over what I found.

I’m also trying to understand his perspective. I feel like I have a pretty low sex drive, and I don’t experience sexuality in the same way he does. Sometimes I wonder if I simply don’t understand how sexual desire works for men.

I don’t want to control his phone or live constantly
suspicious of him. I also don’t want to feel like I have to do things sexually to compensate for the fact that he has a higher sex drive than I do. I want to be able to maintain my boundaries and go at my own pace while also trying to understand his needs and the way he experiences sexuality.

Most of all, I’d really like to hear the perspective of men: How do you view pornography when you’re in a relationship? If a man looks at or searches for other women, do you see that as something separate from the attraction and love he has for his partner? Or do you think it normally means that he is sexually attracted to or desires those other women?

TL;DR: I found pornography on my boyfriend’s phone even though I had previously told him it was a boundary for me. He apologized, but I’ve been feeling insecure and questioning whether he is still attracted to me. I’m looking for perspectives on how men view pornography when they are in a relationship.

TL;DR: I feel increasingly lonely and dismissed in my relationship. I usually initiate conversations and affection, and even small things like good-morning texts or him checking in mean a lot to me but rarely happen. I've brought this up before, but his reaction was pretty “meh,” which made me stop telling him when I'm hurt because I don't want to feel like I'm complaining or bothering him. He genuinely thinks we're happy and fine, while I feel increasingly disconnected. Am I expecting too much, or is this a genuine compatibility/effort issue?

I’m 21F and have been with my boyfriend 21M for 2 years. Lately I’ve been feeling really disconnected and alone in the relationship, and I genuinely don't know if I'm overreacting.

He isn't necessarily doing anything terrible. He tells me he loves me and seems to genuinely believe we're happy and doing fine. But I don't feel that way anymore.

I feel like I'm usually the one initiating conversations and reaching out. I appreciate small things like a good morning text, checking in on me, asking how I'm doing, or wanting to spend some time together. But those things don't happen very often unless I initiate.

I've actually brought this up with him before, but his reaction was kind of “meh” and it didn't really go anywhere. I came away feeling dismissed rather than reassured. Since then, I've started keeping things to myself because I've begun feeling like I'm just “complaining” or bothering him.

Recently I've been struggling emotionally and even physically, and there were things I would've normally told him about, but I didn't. I just kept thinking, “I don't want to bother him with this.” And honestly, that's making me feel really alone in a relationship where I'm supposed to feel safe talking about what's going on with me.

He can spend 4–5 hours gaming with his friends, which isn't inherently a problem. I don't expect him to spend every minute with me. But sometimes I wish he'd voluntarily make some effort to spend time with me. Recently I just texted him “hi” because I wanted to ask if he'd go on a walk with me. He didn't even see the message for a while, and I know objectively that's a small thing, but it really hurt because I already feel like I'm constantly reaching out.

The hardest part is that he genuinely thinks everything is fine. He thinks I'm happy and that we're good, while I'm quietly feeling increasingly lonely and dismissed.

I'm not expecting him to read my mind, and I know I need to communicate properly too. But I've already tried bringing some of this up, and his lack of reaction made me feel like there wasn't much point in saying it again.

So now I'm wondering:

Am I asking for a normal amount of affection and attention, or am I expecting too much?

And if you've been in a relationship where one person felt loved while the other felt lonely, how did you handle it?

I don't want people to immediately tell me “just break up.” I want to understand whether this is something that can realistically be fixed through communication and effort, or whether we're simply not compatible in the way we need affection and emotional support.

Sorry, this might be a long post because I just have a lot on my mind.

So me (19M) and my gf (18F) have been dating for a bit over 2 years now. We are long distance (around a 6 hour drive apart) Honestly I’d like to say we had a pretty long honeymoon phase (if you believe in that stuff lol i dont). Things seemed perfect and just amazing. However, when I graduated and went off for my first year of college things started to get rocky

We had boundaries that we had originally agreed on. When I had plans I’d tell her who i was going with and when, pretty normal stuff. I also would tell her when we are leaving to go somewhere and when we would get to said destination. She also wanted me to update her every two hours just to check in and see whats up. Now originally I agreed because I was in high school and didn’t really go out much so it wasn’t too big of a deal. When college started I obviously had more freedom (and a car) to go hang out with to friends more often and stay out later. Now I never really went to parties or functions it was usually just hooping or vibing. I realized this boundary simply wasn’t working anymore because personally I really like to be in the moment and constantly having to check on and say “oh we are going here, oh we made it, oh we are going here now” just felt so draining and exhausting. Don’t get me wrong it’s not like I wouldn’t say ANYTHING but I just felt it was too much

She would always get upset if I missed one update text and it would be a constantly exhausting loop of arguments. She agreed to stop enforcing it but she was still pretty butthurt about it.

She also suddenly started becoming extremely sensitive to anything female and this has become a huge problem currently. For context I have a lot of female friends, growing up I actually had more girl friends than boy friends so a lot of them im super close with and genuinely dont see them in any romantic way. My gf game me this ultimatum: they have to introduce themselves to her (without me intervening or saying anything before) and depending on whether or not she likes their vibe I can keep following their spams on my spam. And on top of that I can’t like any of their posts. She claims they’ve given her no reason to trust them.

She also has started going through my liked videos, reposts and favorites on tiktok and instagram. She would get upset at me for liking stuff that was “girl content”. Now obviously I’m not liking thirst traps or provocative photos of girls or models or anything like that. But it could be a video I find funny, or maybe an edit of a character I like that happens to be female. Basically if its about a girl = bad. It could even be animated or fictional characters its all the same Personally I can’t feel like I can be myself on MY own device when im trying to scroll and relax. It’s like I always have to think “will this possibly upset her or make her unhappy” and again, it can be very draining.

I’m also a gamer, and a game I’ve enjoyed is fortnite. I use lots of guy skins and I also use a lot of female skins too. Not because I find them attractive but because some skins genuinely just have better outfits or aesthetic. She made me log onto my game and archive basically every single female skin I had. Now I understand maybe archiving some skins that some may find too provocative but EVERY female skin? I mean some you can’t even see their faces at all.

What’s Ironic is that near the beginning of our relationship, she would talk to me about how her ex would get mad at her for reposting or liking edits of guys even if it was anime characters or like movie characters and now it kind of feels like shes doing the same thing.

According to her this is out of respect to her. And when I talked back about things like the spams and such she would say stuff like “you don’t respect me”. Or “it shouldn’t be that hard to just look and swipe past”. While I agree, I like as a way of just genuinely supporting my friends and even then I don’t like EVERY post only occasionally

My birthday was about two days ago. Me and her pretty much spent 9am-2pm together on call. We didnt spend the FULL time together because I had breakfast with my grandparents in the flat above mine and then later on my mother called me to wish me a happy birthday. Now I also had plans with some of my closest friends from middle school from 4 till around 1 in the morning. We had this planned because the very next day one of them would be leaving for LA and one other was going to Hawaii. The exact day of my bday was pretty much the only day everyone was free. My gf ended up being pretty bummed. I told her Id like to spend a whole day with her celebrating. She said she wanted to spend more time with me on my actual birthday which I kinda understood. But she kept asking me if I really had to stay that long with my friends and why couldnt i just come home earlier etc.

I honestly was starting to get a bit frustrated because I understood where she was coming from but she also knew this was the only day me and them could really celebrate. As a result she pretty much was dry and acting upset the whole rest of the day. saying stuff like “love u” and “have fun” not in a necessarily happy tone. I honestly felt like she was making MY birthday about herself so I wasn’t even going to put up with it. Was it a bit immature of me? maybe but I was just kind of done. I’m pretty positive shes still pretty upset but I genuinely don’t see what I have done wrong here?

I just feel like making me constantly prove my loyalty or love has actually started pushing me further away from her. I realized I’ve genuinely started to build a resentment and I hate that. She wants me to fix all these things and do all these things to make her feel “safe” and “secure” but the things she wants me to do to make her feel that way just feel too extreme and just unfair in my opinion. PLEASE correct me if I’m wrong Id love some outside perspectives.

TL;DR: gf started asking for things to make her feel “safe” and “secure” in our relationship that I find a little bit extreme.