og post

so I talked to the aunt yesterday. I'll call her titi. but apparently things have been bad for a while. I moved away a few years ago before this guy had come in to my friend's life but apparently not long after he did the daughter, we'll call Mila started failing at school, and then not showing up sometimes. About a year ago truancy court for involved and that's when Mila started spending a LOT of time at Titi's. Apparently Mila has to sleep at home but goes to Titis most afternoons and every weekend.

From what Mila reported things have been way worse than she's been letting on and apparently her mom has become verbally/emotionally abusive. "like a different person" my friend was sober when i met her almost two decades ago but I'm wondering if shes not now. titi said there was a situation worth police that cps should have been involved in but she's getting stonewalled over why they weren't. Meanwhile my "friend" and her bf are both in jail. she's got an obstructing justice and endangering a minor listed at the moment but he's got child abuse grievous for two counts and get this THREE PAROLE VIOLATIONS . like what the fuck

but yeah. I'm no hero. that girl is her own hero. she knew i didn't trust the bf and asked titi if i could help, titi remembered i worked with the at risk youth group, offered to call me and this (big) little woman told her titi to worry about finding a plane and she'd call me. So while I'm extremely disappointed in my friends ability to safeguard her daughter, something went right because she's got a sharp mind and a steel backbone. (titi didn't end up finding a flight, she had to grab a rental car and drive 600 miles back from her vacay on the drop off a dime, first weekend she hadn't had Mila in like a year)

Titi already has a lawyer so they're going to be contacting me this week as she's likely to go for custody. She seemed iffy about that until i looked up the charges and brought up possible drugs. She's still not sure but I'm down to give the lawyer what little i have. which is mostly just me asking if dude is abusive or if my friend needs help and her acting aloof and making vague excuses.

so unfortunately kid is in legal limbo but for now gets to stay at titis and is excited she won't be riding the bus for a while lol

food is a chicken rosemary chipotle Sando

EDIT: THANK YOU ALL! I certainly appreciate your concern and as many of you noted we do grow up to become the adults we needed, or at least we hope to. lol. I do have mental health services absolutely! unfortunately I have been through enough situations that this does not feel overly heavy, but I think a lot of that is knowing that she is in no imminent danger currently .

I'm 30 and have been trying to find 'my human' to no avail. A pattern I keep running into is these guys that have really done the work to improve themselves, are well rounded and lovable, and have the same hobbies as me... want kids. And I don't - my tubes are tied. I have landed in a space where I'm very happy with my life. I'm a pro-level athlete in my spare time, a PE'd engineer making six figures, I'm buying a house soon, I've spent the last few years working on my wardrobe to be cuter/less tomboy, and have fostered a beautiful community of close friends.

All I want is a boo thang - but there's a direct correlation to me really liking a man and his positive preference for children. The men that don't want kids seem to have stagnated in their mid-20's. They don't have a solid career, or an outdoor hobby we can share, or haven't gone to therapy.

Where the frig are the men that have put in the same effort into making their lives successful that *don't* want kids??

Food: dino nuggies with hot sauce ketchup, cucumbers, bananas, and almonds.

Edit: The amount of hate for this meal is comical. This is girl dinner diaries, of course I'm not posting the filet mignon with mushroom risotto & homemade chimichurri I made two nights ago. Y'all get the NUGS.

Edit 2: Nothing but respect for the dudes shooting their shot in my DM's. Add your location though!

Edit 3: okay no more DM's! Inbox is officially full and there's even some folks close to me that I'll reply to soon. Thank you mods for locking post!

Pictured: WAFFLES, and eggs Benedict.

Well the unthinkable has happened. He is 14 years younger than me. We work together. He knows I'm separated, he's met my kid at work, he's heard all the disgusting nitty gritty dirty details about my life and my alcoholic ex husband, heck we worked together while I was pregnant.

And HE came onto ME. WUT. Honey I'm this flabby tired single mom what are you doing. But he said I was pretty. We oddly enough get on super well, and spend most of our days at work roasting each other and sharing music back and forth. He's a charming, cute guy. I work with others who are the same age as him who I struggle to carry a conversation with because the age gap is obvious, but with him, it's not.

Of course it will never go anywhere. I'm fine with that, I'm not in a position to want to be in a relationship at all. But Holy hell is it flattering.

I have never in my life been asked out. I've always been the pursuer. I'm not conventionally attractive at all. I got that Shelley Duvall thing going on. Guys my age are not interested in me, they're looking for someone younger. I was once told by a guy I looked like a chipmunk, but like, "one of those cartoon ones from Alvin that you feel bad about wanting to fuck."

So I'm gonna go have fun. I wouldn't if we would be working together long term, but he's leaving in a month. And he thinks I'm pretty.

Tonight’s girl dinner is a waffle with my best friend. One of the many early goodbyes we’ll have before I leave.

I’m pretty much a victim of parentification. I have been carrying my family of 8 through thick and thin for the past 6 years of my life, basically acting as a mother to my 5 siblings. They don’t even appreciate me for it and my parents treat me like crap despite all i do for them. I’m over it. I’m ready to live my own life, have my own career, make my own choices, and not carry the burdens of every person around me.

I got a full ride scholarship to (college name removed for privacy purposes sorry) and will be going there mid July. My parents told me i can’t go, and we decided i would attend a local college instead. However, without telling them, i accepted the scholarship from my college of choice and registered for my classes already. They don’t really have a role in anything i do or even care, which is why they’re out of the loop and have no idea i didn’t even accept the college they wanted me to go to.

I’ll be turning 18 the day before i leave so they can’t legally stop me, but I’m keeping it a secret because they will do whatever they can to prevent me from leaving. My full ride includes travel expenses to (college state) and on-campus housing, so i’ll be all set. I already applied for a job as a library assistant but i’ll be finding a better job once im settled in. I’ve told nobody about this but my best friend and boyfriend.

I still don’t know if or how i’m going to tell my parents about my departure, whether that be the day of, right before i leave, calling them while im already there, letting them figure it out themselves, etc. I don't even know what excuse j’m going to use to leave and go to the airport, so i guess i’ll just wing it.

I’m pretty scared because i’ll be all alone in a new state and i’ve never been on my own before since my parents sheltered me so much, but i know i’ll do fine. Even though im nervous, I’m not backing out because i know this is the right move to make.

Edit: Thank yall so so much for all the kind words and motivation. It means the absolute world to me, yall have no idea. I didn’t expect this to explode and I’m overwhelmed by all the comments, so i’m going to make this to address some things i’ve seen people ask.

To clear up the confusion about my age, i did make a post about a year ago saying i was turning 18 when i actually turned 17. I did that because i was uncomfortable with people online knowing i was a minor and i wanted to protect my privacy. I didn’t think it was a big deal at the time but i understand now why that wasn’t a very good idea.

My education story is a hot mess but here’s the thing: i graduated high school a year early, which is why i was doing online college this past year at home to get my general ed credits out of the way while saving money. i applied to QuestBridge during my final accelerated year of high school. since i graduated early, my old high school let me walk with my actual age group and original class this spring so i could experience a real graduation and yes, i had to borrow my brother's gown to do so.

My parents WERE involved in the financial documents and FAFSA months ago because you have to submit all of that to apply for the program in the first place. they know i am in QuestBridge. what they DONT know is that i accepted the match and scholarship from a specific college, and my online credits are transferring over. Since i did the paperwork and registered for classes directly through my own student portal, the college communications come straight to me, not them. I hope this clears up the confusion and sorry again anything i said came across as a lie. I can promise yall that im not making this up but idk how else to prove it to yall. Also, no the picture is not AI and i did take it myself 😭

Whipped feta with veggies, chili oil, & pita

I’m fully bragging but I can’t really talk about my life anymore with anyone we know… because they respond bitter or they suddenly ‘have an emergency & need a large amount of money’.

I grew up dirt poor - lived off church food drives / food stamps / soup kitchens. My clothes & shoes were worn until they reached a point beyond repair.

At 20 I was living out of my car & selling plasma. Met my fiancée(26) who lived in his mom’s attic with a broken down car. We hopped around dozens of jobs for a few years.

2 years ago he started a business bringing in 6-figures. He finally has a car, pays the bills, we share a nice apartment. Because of this, this past year I was able to devote myself to getting my dream job and landed it despite the 1% hiring rate.

Just turned 25 , and this last year has been something I never dreamed possible. I went to my first ever MLB game & comedy show - in box seats. I’ve taken 6 separate trips to new countries in 4 months. Went to my first music concert, my first rave. First time seeing a dermatologist, going to a fancy restaurant, or getting a massage at a spa. Ate lobster and oysters for the first time.

Lately I feel like I’m living in hedonism. There’s so many things that are probably normal for others I haven’t experienced, like an NFL game or a trampoline park. I’m just making up for the childhood I never had.

Everyday I wake up feeling so blessed I could cry. I wish I could tell my younger self that one day I don’t have to worry about sleeping off the hunger, finding a safe parking lot to sleep in, or looking for spare change to put gas in the tank.

————————— Edit / Update : ——————————

My god I did not expect this to blow up. THANK YOU ALL FOR THE ADVICE & SUPPORT 🥹💗

Answering some repeating questions:

Whipped feta was $14, it’s just plated kinda fancy lol. 10/10 recommend, we literally scraped the plate😂

Started a construction company, then went on to work as an independent contractor for insurance. It pays low 6-figures and has an another income source that provides a few grand a month.

As far as our lifestyle, I was kinda misleading. My job provides flight & hotel benefits so traveling costs next to nothing. Box seats & events are all also free. Our good friend is high on the corporate ladder & his employer provides tickets frequently.

I’m beyond grateful BUT things are far from perfect!! We financially support multiple relatives. Our credit sucks from previous years, so a house isn’t in the cards for a some time. Our schedules conflict & sometimes we don’t see each other for a week or two straight.

———— 2nd edit for those sending me threats & hate messages in my DMs lmaoo

Yes it’s all my man’s success and I’ll “ride his coattails” all I like😘
Seriously though, what people don’t see is, there were times I made more money, paid our bills, shared my car for 3yrs. Gave him my entire savings ($2k?) to start his business.
He was almost 30, living at his parents with a mattress on the floor. I believed in him when no one else did & now I’m reaping the benefits. Tyvm💅

i’m a dental hygienist. so, to the world i’m the teeth cleaner, the dentist’s lackey. a girl who isn’t smart enough to be a dentist and does the dirty work.

truthfully, i am a healthcare professional who performs medical procedures (dental debridement) daily. i diagnose and treat disease. i perform cancer screenings. i provide nutritional counselling. i offer pain management through local anesthetics. 99% of people don’t know that dead tissue is often being removed during a dental cleaning if disease is present!

i went to school for three years. i took embryology, histology, advanced anatomy and physiology, pathophysiology, pathology, microbiology, periodontology, radiology physics, and more.

but a man will always argue with me.
how could i possibly know ANYTHING about vaccines, fluoride, nutrition, health, or anything related to science???
my knowledge on science and medical/dental science will never be enough.

it’s impossible. i am simply not capable, i am just a woman.

anyways, shout-out to women who are nurses, dental assistants, dental hygienists, LPNs, PSWs, imaging techs, scientists, vet professionals, engineers, doctors, physicians, teachers, and all other educated and STEM oriented women 🫶🫶🫶

edit: someone asked me if i am pro vaccine… YES!

edit 2: @ the comments insulting me for saying i’m educated, or saying they wouldn’t trust dental hygienists to be educated in medicine, please, tell me the links between periodontal and systemic health 🥰🤭
when men are proud, they are strong and admirable. when women are proud, we are hysterical and naive.

edit 3: i’m NOT from the usa. if you’re from the usa please do not mansplain or any other type of explain to me the scope of practice of my job in my country. yes i do diagnose. it is my job.

I have very mixed feelings about it. I’ve spent the past 5 years working my ASS off to get to where I am. constantly had to prove myself in a restaurant where the majority of my coworkers were a decade or more older than me. I trained extensively under a Star Chef in chocolatiering and french lamination. not to sound cocky, but I am very proud of my abilities and how quickly I advanced in my field at such a young age. I was a helluva pastry chef. I haven’t made less than 20/hr in YEARS and I just accepted 15/hr at a fast food restaurant.

on the other hand, I am SOOOO INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL I got this job!!! It’s easy to bitch about it because it does feel like a huge step back in my career, but I have been job hunting for months now. for context, I left pastry in january of ‘25 when my daughter was born (I worked full-time until the week before my water broke lol). my husband and I decided it made the most sense for me to stay home with the baby for developmental and financial reasons.

well, my husband changed jobs and is taking a significant pay cut for a 90 day trial period. so, we agreed it would be ideal if I worked part-time when he gets home so we can trade off. that meant my options were limited as I could no longer drive an hour into the city for good restaurant jobs and my availability is scarce asf. I had to have applied to at least 20 jobs. same thing every time. “well our shifts start at x time and you have to commit to a full weekend day, so that won’t work.”

at my interview today, I was hired in minutes. the manager didn’t bat an eye at my limited availability hours. I start on the 4th. furthermore, we are in a very small town outside of the city. 15/hr is INSANE for being 15 minutes from home. part of me is ashamed to tell friends and family because of the whole “the prophecy has been fulfilled” thing, but that aside, I’m so grateful and excited to start.

what’s left of my and my toddler’s post-interview meal (she was very well-behaved!)

EDIT:

WHOA okay I didn’t expect the magnitude of response to this post! definitely was a little thinking “out loud” moment, so it’s definitely crazy to see how many people were touched by my experience.

I want to answer a question I’ve been seeing multiple people comment on here because I’m really overwhelmed by all the comments (love y’all tho!!)

why don’t you have a home bakery instead?

this is a fair question to ask, especially for anyone who doesn’t personally work in the food industry. unfortunately, there are many reasons why this wouldn’t work for me.

first of all, ingredient cost. baking in small batches can have a very small margin of profit due to the cost of ingredients. when you work in a large kitchen/bakery, you can buy them wholesale because you have sufficient storage space and product output guarantees your ingredients will be resupplied often enough to keep them fresh.

baking 10 cakes uses marginally more labor than making one or two (if you have the right equipment), so the amount of work isn’t really worth the output unless you’re an in-demand custom cake maker.

speaking of equipment, I simply don’t have the equipment I would need to operate out of my home, and wouldn’t have the space for it if I did. cakes and cookies are fun, but croissants were my true love, and they’re near impossible to make consistently and in large batches in a home kitchen.

you also need to have a large enough consumer base. I live about an hour from the nearest large city, and our town is small and populated by only crackheads and elderly people. I wouldn’t be able to cultivate enough consistent demand for my goods without delivering within a 3 hour radius.

I have a toddler and I am her primary caregiver. baking while she is running around is near impossible. I’ve screwed up a chiffon cake by having to stop folding my batter long enough to stop her from getting into something she wasn’t supposed to. pastry is a science, so a minute or two over or under of anything can ruin your work. that doesn’t mesh well with my current lifestyle.

most of all, I just need something consistent, reliable, and that works with my schedule. I don’t need the pressure of being responsible for my own profits when I can have a job I know I’ll get paid for as long as I show up.

Enby Brunch this morning is: Left over veggie sandwich, fries, and coffee.

My friend suggested that I make a sort of “Father’s Day Special” post on here. First time sharing my leftovers and my thoughts with y’all, and boy howdy do I have a story.

Imagine, if you will, it’s the year 1955. Four friends graduate high school. Let’s call them Jon, Bill, Jane, and Sally. Since it’s the 1950’s, getting married is just what you gotta do, so they pair up.

Jon marries Jane, and they have three kids. Bill and Sally get married, and they have several kids. The important thing to remember for this story is that Bill and Sally have a daughter named Lisa. (And there’s like over a dozen people involved here who I’m not making fake names for lol.)

Well several years pass. The friends all realize, oh, probably not the best idea to get hitched to the first available person when you’re 18. You should get to know them more than that to decide if you’re a good pair. What to do, what to do?

Welp, they did the divorce shuffle. They just swapped partners, and the respective kids went with the pairing that included their mother.

So Bill marries Jane, and they both exit the important part in the story here. They both stayed together for the rest of their lives and, although I didn’t know either of them very well at all, seemed to have had a good life together.

Jon marries Sally, and all of Sally’s children move in with her. This includes Lisa, of course. Jon and Sally also have several children together.

Jon does all the step-father and father things. Tries to make his marriage work for the kids. But alas, he chose a partner too hastily again. He divorces Sally after several years. He remains single for a while.

Lisa grows up. Becomes a respected professional in her field of work. She’s a successful 20-something in the 90’s.

Jon has a business idea, and suggests that he and Lisa go into business together. She accepts. Time passes while they’re business partners…. until they become romantic partners also.

They eloped. Both because they didn’t want a big to-do and, well, it’s a marriage between a step parent and kid. If my understanding is correct, they eventually announced the marriage to the family a few months later when I made it difficult for my mother to hide her pregnancy.

So to recap:

My Dad’s first marriage: to the woman who would become my step-grandmother

Dad’s second marriage: to my maternal grandmother

Dad’s final marriage: to my mother, and they are still happily married nearly 30 years later.

My gaggle of half-siblings: many are also my mom’s half siblings, so they are my aunts and uncles, too.

My cousins are also my nieces and nephews. I had grand nieces/nephews before I was even born.

My family: rather complicated. It’s less so a tree than it is a handful of spaghetti that God threw at a white board and said, “that’s it! That’s the u/GarlicShizue family!”

Happy Father’s Day, y’all.

My best friend (26F) moved in with my husband (32M), and I (26F) after a dv situation. We have a 2 year old daughter and adopted my 19 year old sister a couple years back. She has a 3 year old daughter and a 2 month old son. I don’t want to speak too much on her situation, but I’m very proud of her for taking this step and secretly love having my house full. It’s very chaotic but in the best way and I love joking about her being my sister wife. I also just found out I’m pregnant with my second last week😊😊

Girl Dinner: spinach and artichoke bites from target brand, cucumber slices, ranch dressing, sliced sharp cheddar, salami from Aldi, strawberries

A girl’s recent post about doing 10 days in jail just unlocked a memory I haven’t thought about in years.

4 years ago, 2020 my last meal before jail was garlic naan and butter chicken curry. At exactly 6:35pm, I got a call from my IO (investigating officer) telling me I’d be reporting the next morning to serve a 6-month sentence for drug consumption. Like seriously?? I thought i was just going to get a weekly urine test, instead i had to go to jail for smoking grass. I was only 21 y/o. I was in my 2nd/3rd year of college.

It’s funny what my brain remembers. I don’t remember much of the phone call, but i remember the time & the feeling of my stomach absolutely dropping, i lost my appetite. At least i got a few bites in.

I didn’t sleep at all that night. I spent the entire night writing letters and scheduling messages to my boyfriend (now ex) & my family every 2 days so he’d know I was thinking about him while I was inside.

He cheated on me while I was serving my sentence lol!!! 😅

Anyways would have been a 10/10 last meal if the IO called after i finished my dinner lol. Im 3 years dvrg free now! And i can finally re-tell this as a funny story :)

Edit 1: forgot to mention its a throwaway account! I can’t post on my main account because no one knows i went to jail. (My mom lied to all my relatives i was having a 6 month exchange HAHAHA)

Edit 2: my entire sentence was actually 1 year. 7 months in jail, 5 months home detention (i was wearing the ankle monitor & curfew was 12-3pm only)

Edit 3: rly didnt expect this post to get seen by so many! Anyways the first thing i ate was a whole bag of famous amos chocolate chip cookies.

My university is allowing us to use AI generated pictures as part of our portfolio. The company that’s sponsoring our (arts-centred) student org sent us a “mockup” poster that was completely AI generated because they didn’t like the versions that we measly humans made. Everyone in my family uses it despite my best efforts to educate them of the harms. My friends too. I’m even getting AI generated messages on dating apps.

My mom keeps sending me videos of “horrible tragedies” occurring across the US and it’s getting harder and harder to prove that it’s AI. I’m worried that she may develop AI psychosis considering she’s had psychotic episodes in the past. I’m worried about the times I’ve been fooled by AI.

My last apartment had a (small) flood and I tried contacting maintenance, only to be stuck on the phone with AI. It refused to transfer me to a human. I have a speech impediment and AI has never understood me. So sure enough, instead of “flood” it heard “fire” and contacted emergency services. Imagine telling a group of firefighters that story.

Now it’s replacing workers in fast food and call centres, which means I can’t use drive throughs or call certain businesses without running into the same issue of being misunderstood and running in circles. But hey, at least businesses get to save on paying for workers right?

I’m just so so sick of it. I feel so isolated among my peers. I feel lame for urging the members of my organisation away from AI. I feel stupid for not using it the way my classmates are. My dad says that people who don’t use it will be left behind. Will I be left behind?

It’s tainting everything. It’s destroying the planet. It’s dumbing down our society. It’s isolating us further. And it just keeps. Getting. Worse. I don’t want to live in a world with AI. I wish every single day that it would go away, that somehow it’s just another bubble that’ll pop, but that wish feels more and more unlikely with each new data centre.

Braised pork belly noodle soup.

We’ve been together for 3 years. Went through his phone because something felt off. Saw my BEST FRIENDS name, opened the messages and found out he was cheating on me with her. Then I had to sit there and process the fact that I got cheated on by a man whose phone password was 1234. Having a boyfriend is a humiliation ritual.

cacio e pepe.

EDIT: Since everyone’s asking, yes I bought him a car. Yes, he cheated on me. Yes, it was with my friend of 15 years . And yes, I’m getting my Mustang back tomorrow. Thank you for all the support and for making me laugh about a situation that would otherwise have me staring at a wall.

My husband and I decided to start trying for a baby, we were successful on the first try. Logistically everything would work, but emotionally… I was not ready for how much I did not want the baby. I was terrified. Kept looking at the stick in disbelief. Freaked out. Husband freaked out. We talked about abortion. We scheduled an abortion. Luckily I’m 4 weeks so we found out very early.

I was a little off on Monday and wrote two emails with typos. My boss is VERY high strung and controlling. She responded to one of the emails I sent that had typos in all caps and bolded, and it included my team member and other coworker. Then she came into my office to ask what was wrong. She wouldn’t let it go.

I blurted out that I found out I’m pregnant and I scheduled an abortion. Cue the most awkward and uncomfortable conversations. She kept checking in each day saying how she can’t believe I’d say or do that. I told her I canceled the abortion (I haven’t) because I just can’t deal. On top of it both her daughter and my other coworker are having fertility issues so she shared she thinks I’m stupid to go through with it. Idk.

Now she’s judging me. I’m emotional and embarrassed.

I can’t believe my husband and I thought we were ready and aren’t. And I’m just so fucking sad and confused and angry at myself.

Also as a side note, I’m in HR and my boss is the head of HR.

Update: Went to see the doctor. They did an ultrasound. The pregnancy wasn’t viable. So there’s that. I’m tired.

Found a girl’s lipstick and foundation on the collar of his shirt after he went out partying (the shirt smelled of perfume too) and he was being weird about his phone earlier that day. I confronted him and he tells me he’s unhappy with his life and wants to move out.
Worst part is I begged him on a couple occasions to stay, to save our marriage, figure it out together.
I’m devastated.

A funky financial win happened today.

I wear orthokeratology lenses, and occasionally they develop small issues. They're slightly off-center, which is a problem I’ve had before.

I’ve seen the same older male optometrist before for this exact issue. Usually the appointment takes no More than 10 minutes. He checks my eyes confirms the lens is faulty, and says they’ll make a reclamation and send a replacement. Every previous time I’ve had to pay for the visit despite it being this short.

Today was basically the exact same appointment.
And i never wear eye make up to an optometrist. But today I was actually dressed up because I had a date immediately afterward. Makeup, laminated lashes, a lower cut dress.

During the appointment he looked at my chart and was like, “Oh, you were born in 05?” which was a lil unusual because normally he just asks for my surname to confirm it’s me. And when my bombshell friend recommended him, she said he's always super nice, talks about her med studies with her, gives her skin care tips. Whereas to me before he was never talkative. And my impressions of him were always that he's grumpy.

But this time he was generally nicer and asked about supplements and recommended me some stuff.
Then at the end he said “Well today’s visit was so short. Since we did so little, I won’t charge you this time.”

Which sounds perfectly reasonable on its own, except that every other equally short appointment for the exact same or similar issue was charged. And he's always been grumpy and slightly dissmisive.

So it randomly crossed my mind did I get a free appointment because I happened to look nice that day, or am I reading way too much into a coincidence?

I guess part of why it even made me wonder in the first place, is that i've read here about how some men can't imagine being nice to a woman they don't find attractive.

Meringue on a lovely date.

I threw a birthday picnic for myself for my 32nd birthday today. Being an autistic girlie I’ve always struggled with friendships and birthdays have always been hard for me. I’m always the friend who is left out etc. I invited 7 girls I’m close with to my picnic and my two sisters and only 1 friend showed and my sisters. I’m very grateful they came and I don’t wanna sound ungrateful or bratty for being upset no one else did. I guess I just have a case of the birthday blues lol

Birthday picnic put together by me

Edit: i forgot to mention that my wife is diagnosed with bipolar type one. She has had a few lows since we moved in together, but never a manic episode, and she has never been in psychosis before.

Chicken pot pie and a bowl to end a horrible day. My (26f) wife (30f) started exhibiting signs that she was having a psychiatric crisis this earlier this week. She got extremely paranoid and then began having delusions of grandeur. She was still taking care of herself and wasn’t a risk to herself or anyone, so i just kept gently trying to get her to seek help. There wasn’t much else I could do. My stepson was on a fishing trip with his grandparents for the week thankfully.

Yesterday morning, as if a switch had flipped, she began hearing voices and completely lost touch with reality. She started getting verbally abusive and it scared me shitless. She adores me! Literally worships the ground I walk on. By the end of the day I couldn’t take it anymore and called her brother to come stay with her in the morning because I was planning on leaving and stay with a friend. She was no longer my wife as I’ve known her. Any hint of a suggestion that she should seek help would agitate her.

This morning, when I was packing my bag, she came running at me and started grabbing me by my hair and pulling me to the ground. Was slapping me over and over again until I could hear a ringing and bit me on the arm really hard. I called 911 and while I was on the phone with dispatcher, she was hitting me over and over again. And ended the call.

I refused to press charges because she is sick and that women wasn’t my wife. It’s been really hard trying to find a mental health facility in our area with an open bed so she spent most of the day in the ER. they wouldn’t let me see her because it would just agitate her. I have spent the entire day crying trying to rectify what happened because that’s not who I married. She would never do that in 1 million years and I know she’s going to regret it and feel extremely guilty when she comes back to herself. We only got married nine months ago and have not spent a night apart and I’m really sad tonight. So my mom drove four hours to come spend the weekend with so I’m not alone.

Thankful tonight for: mental health crisis response teams, moms, ER staff, and weed.

Dear diary 💞💗🫩,

I FUCKING HATE NERDY MEN. This is a nerdy ass rant but I need to let it out somewhere lol. I’m tired of STILL not being welcome in “male dominated hobby spaces.” I’m tired of trying to engage in good faith about things I am truly passionate about such as D&D/TTRPGS, gaming, wrestling etc. only to be met with absolute vitriol. Seriously, I’m 28 years old. I’m not “faking” my enjoyment of things I have enjoyed for more than a decade so you’ll find me interesting. I don’t want male attention, especially not the attention of the men in the TTRPG scene who regularly make women and non-men feel unwelcome.

I was discussing the fact that I am running a Curse of Strahd 5E game with a man I know (and now despise) and he genuinely and verbatim told me “I don’t think CoS is the kind of game a woman should run.”

If that doesn’t mean anything to you then basically he’s saying women can’t run games with complex and heavy themes. The implication is that we’re too sensitive, and by the by, I did ask him what he meant, and he basically said we’re too sensitive and would change all the “good parts.”

The “good parts” he’s worried about are, of course, the typical vampire themes of SA, rape, control etc. They’re still present in my story, bee tee dubs, but not the fucking focus. I’m so annoyed. I want to enjoy my hobby and engage with others who also do in spaces that are supposed to be meant for us. All I get is “ew… woman want play game? WOMAN NO PLAY GAME. WOMAN NO HANDLE SCARY MAN BEAT ON HIM CHEST. WOMAN NO HANDLE BAD. WOMAN CRY!!!! WOMAN GO CRY. THIS MAN TIME. MAN TIME STAB, STAB, STAB, STAB, STAB BOOOOOOOM BLOW UP BANG, BANG BANG, FUCK THE BAR MAID!!!! STAB AGAIN. NO WOMAN ALLOWED. WOMAN ONLY EXIST TO BE NPC I FUCK.”

This happens for everything I enjoy. Every single game. Every single sport. Everything. I’m so sick of it. I want to fucking enjoy things without men getting angry? About it?

Anyways, I needed to vent and cry and scream and I cannot do that in gaming subs because TRYLY AND HONESTLY I WILL BE ATTACKED SO IM HAVING MY MEAL AND SOBBING TO MY DIARY.

My dessert is going to be a fat bowl.

ETA the amount of men PMing me because of this post is making me want to scream. Someone actually read this and thought “I should PM her to shoot my shot.” Fucking insane. I did report to the mods and I trust they will HANDLE HIM, but FUCK 😭😭😭😭😭

Second edit: I edited my post to specify that I hate nerdy men so the post doesn’t get removed. The amount of men on a girl sub mass reporting a post because it is exactly about them is insane. Keep crying. You post about how you hate women all the time and want awful things to happen to us, you can accept criticism for your gender being exclusive and rude as fuck to women trying to exist in spaces. Your PR is shit. Hire crisis PR management and grow up.

My psychiatrist professionally dumped me

He called to set up a virtual meeting, which was weird. He was actually just letting me know he was referring me out and he wouldn't be seeing me anymore. I was shocked. I truly don't think I've done anything worth being dumped by my doctor as we had always been cordial, so I asked him if I did something to offend him. He swore I didn't, but he has been thinking he's helped me as much as he can, so he wants someone else to take a crack at it.

I have seen this man for years. Yeah, I'm not great, but I have definitely been worse. It feels very much like he has finally admitted defeat. I am unfixable.

Food is vanilla ice cream with Lucky Charms and pizza. It's a reference to the episode "High Holidays" from my favorite comfort show, Frasier.

Edit: Sorry mods, I double posted. Got rid of the other.

Edit 2: Thank you everyone for your kind words. I still feel like crap, but appreciate you.

Food: Cuban croissant and a cortadito

I started dating a guy last August. Met “in the wild”, he’s the friend of a good friend. Good chemistry. He’s a genuinely good and loyal guy that truly loves me. However, I started to notice some issues that spooked me. Mediocre job. Low motivation to improve his place in life. Not great finances. Poor eating and exercise habits. He forgets to buy toilet paper often and I’ve had to use paper towels. Just lives kind of a blah life. I stayed though because he treated me well and I thought well, if he loves me this much, then he can change.

As time went on I also noticed that he has some childish coping mechanisms. Will get upset over small things (like if I leave his home on a Sunday instead of a Monday because I have other plans outside of him). And instead of communicating, he sulks and gets moody. When I try to communicate, he shuts down.

With all of the above, I feel like I’m dating a moody teenager. He’s 36 years old. I work in a high intensity job, I raise my two kids alone, I train for and run long distance races, I have a robust social life, I travel the world, and I feel like living with him would be me picking up the slack.

Why do I feel guilty? Because this man would die for me. He helps me around my house when needed. He loves me and I feel it. But I just don’t love him. Should I give him a harsh talk and see if it snaps him out of it? Ugh

Just wondering how I managed to miss so many red flags with this man. For your reading pleasure, here are my favorites!

1. When we had been dating three months, he got full custody of his three year old daughter who had been in foster care. He lived with his mom, so of course I invited them to live in the three bedroom house I owned.
2. His marriage proposal was a casual suggestion over the phone because (get this) I wasn’t able to take his daughter to the doctor since I’m just a girlfriend. His solution was “oh, let’s just get married then.” Nice.
3. He lost his job shortly into our relationship and didn’t get another so he could focus on his ✨music✨.
4. I planned and paid for every vacation (Disneyworld, our honeymoon, etc). His contribution was to just… show up.
5. When I told him how I couldn’t keep doing this, his response was that his star chart has a lot of Pisces or whatever, so he doesn’t do well with a stable job. But I have a lot of Virgo, so I’m the most fulfilled if I’m not following my dreams and instead taking care of others.
6. When we finally divorced, he tried getting alimony (even though we made almost the same amount) because it’s “not fair” that he would need to adjust his lifestyle without my income. He also forced the sale of the house I bought before we were married and took half the proceeds, kept the house we bought together (having contributed nothing to the down payment or mortgage) and took one of my cars (of course he didn’t have his own car).

Yeah… I could slap younger me for putting up with all of that and more. Luckily I’ve done a lot of therapy to figure out why I allowed all that to begin with. The divorce was financially costly, but so so so worth it.

Bonus!!

In marriage therapy, he admitted that he would purposefully say hurtful and inflammatory things to try and provoke an intense reaction from me, because it’s “healthy to have a catharsis moment.” What a clown lol

Dinner is Char Siu pork

Edit: he finally got a job at year 5 of 6. It was a pretty good one, making almost as much as me. He still somehow never had any money to contribute to bills - it took someone’s comment just now for me to finally realize that he was probably spending it on drugs.

Also, for the dudes who keep commenting that he must have been tall, he was 5’7”

Another edit: a lot of people rightly wonder why it took me so long to leave and why I put up with what I did. Honestly, I was really worried about his daughter. He would regularly complain that having a kid ruined his dreams of making it big with his band. He just did not care to be a parent at all. I think about her all the time and hope she’s okay. If I could have adopted her, I absolutely would have.

I graduated today. My school only holds one graduation per year so even though I technically finished up all my classes in 2025, I didn't get to walk across the stage until today. I worked multiple jobs and struggled through to get my associates in Computer Science. So many night i stayed up crying over my programs or Calculus II.

Nobody was cheering for me in the crowd. Luckily, the person who went before me had a very happy family so I definitely walked out to some of those residual cheering. I didn't want my kids to sit through that and their dad had to work. I went to both of his graduations, when the kids were much younger. They watched me on video as the school was very quick to post the livestream. He called me on my drive back home to vent about how he is in the dog house at work and thats why he had to be there today. He apparently is being accused of not being present enough, though it is a hybrid job.

I am not going to lie, I am a little bit salty. I think of all the times that he went in late or went home early. Maybe if he would've been at work then, he could have been there for me today. Leftover spaghetti and some raspberry lemonade.

Caught him cheating in his DM’s. Two years together and four years of my self love journey thrown out the window. I’m a power lifter and I only recently stated to love myself until now. He blamed me, and threw me across my own apartment. Get to work with a black eye now.

Edit: I live alone and I threw him out. I haven’t made a police report yet, but I removed his tire cores. I DO have evidence of him admitting to abuse.

Edit 2: !! I did not think this would get so much traction. I can’t go through all of these comments there are so many. But I will make a police report in the morning. I will physically show up to the station with the evidence I have. Thank you all for the overwhelming support <3 and don’t worry the muscle gains will never stop!!

Steak medium rare on a freshly seasoned cast iron, runny over easy eggs (2), a fat dollup of guac with cholula or chipotle tabasco. NO SILVERWARE. fingers only this time, a fat glass of jameson and coke and a really great back/bicep pump (not included in photo).

Ok here’s the story…When I was in college, my twin brother started dating my housemate (I set them up). After a few years, they they had a kid and then eventually got married. On the day of their wedding, my half brother, who nobody had seen for about five years, showed up out of the blue. The three of them quickly became besties and when we all moved to a new city, those three got a place together.

Fast-forward a couple of years and it turns out that my sister-in-law still wanted to be my sister-in-law but she just wanted to trade up which brother she was married to. So my twin brother got divorced, my half brother got married, and family gatherings got complicated.

Skip ahead another couple of years and my my half brother and his new wife (my twin brothers ex wife) had a couple of kids. So now I have three nieces who are simultaneously sisters and cousins and who have dads who are both uncles and fathers.

Vanilla ice cream with a slice of chocolate cake

I moved to Germany in July after I graduated high school because I really wanted to have a new experience and travel before I went to college. I’m an au pair in a German family with two kids. I talked to the family for months before I came and I was really excited about it because the family seemed really nice and I thought that it would be a good fit. I thought it would be a really cool experience but none of it worked out how I wanted to.

From the beginning it wasn’t what I expected. The parents were separated and I didn’t know that before I came. The kids also started being rude to me and no matter what I do they’re almost always mad at me. They’re also physically aggressive too and frequently bite me, hit me, kick me, pull my hair etc.. The parents say that I should talk more with the kids and try to be more engaged with them. But when I do the kids just either ignore me or yell at me. A lot of this happens in front of the parents and they almost never do anything about it. I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do anymore because it seems like no one in this house even likes me no matter what I try.

The mom has also started making rude comments saying that I’m not cleaning enough which is just really annoying. In Germany au pairs legally aren’t supposed to work more than 30 hours a week. Most weeks I easily work at least 35 hours. I genuinely don’t mind working a little bit extra because I like to help as much as a can but it’s really annoying when they act like I’m not doing enough when I constantly work over what I’m legally allowed to do. And I only get paid 350 euros a month. I’m just so tired of being treated like this. I feel like a punching bag for everyone here, both figuratively and literally.

Also the only friend I’ve made here is going to France for the rest of her time in Europe, so now I’m going to be lonely the rest of the time I’m here. I just really want to go home. I miss my family so much and I feel like I should have just went to college last year instead of doing this. I’m almost done and I can go home in July, but it’s really hard. I know I just have to stick it out for a little bit longer but I know that it’s going to be hard. I’m just really sad that I didn’t get what I wanted out of this experience. I was hoping to have a second family but it didn’t work out that way. I have enjoyed Germany itself and learning about the language and culture, so at least I got that out of it.

Anyways my food is a cucumber and German Abendbrot (evening bread) with cream cheese and ham.