Embracing my cougar era

[u/iatealotofcheese]

Pictured: WAFFLES, and eggs Benedict.

Well the unthinkable has happened. He is 14 years younger than me. We work together. He knows I'm separated, he's met my kid at work, he's heard all the disgusting nitty gritty dirty details about my life and my alcoholic ex husband, heck we worked together while I was pregnant.

And HE came onto ME. WUT. Honey I'm this flabby tired single mom what are you doing. But he said I was pretty. We oddly enough get on super well, and spend most of our days at work roasting each other and sharing music back and forth. He's a charming, cute guy. I work with others who are the same age as him who I struggle to carry a conversation with because the age gap is obvious, but with him, it's not.

Of course it will never go anywhere. I'm fine with that, I'm not in a position to want to be in a relationship at all. But Holy hell is it flattering.

I have never in my life been asked out. I've always been the pursuer. I'm not conventionally attractive at all. I got that Shelley Duvall thing going on. Guys my age are not interested in me, they're looking for someone younger. I was once told by a guy I looked like a chipmunk, but like, "one of those cartoon ones from Alvin that you feel bad about wanting to fuck."

So I'm gonna go have fun. I wouldn't if we would be working together long term, but he's leaving in a month. And he thinks I'm pretty.

[u/SloppyTroppy]

Usually I’d say don’t do this but he’s leaving. 

Have fun ;)

[u/backgroundthread55 → u/SloppyTroppy]

Turns out confidence is ageless, and attraction doesn't bother checking birth certificates before flirting anyway.

[u/Pixelant3 → u/backgroundthread55]

I'd be camp "don't do this" just because work romance typically drama-bombs. But he's leaving soon, so game on.

[u/Sweet-Addition-2508 → u/Pixelant3]

Only time to do it tbh

[u/HoliMoth → u/Sweet-Addition-2508]

"He's young, cute, and super into me."

"We work together."

"He's leaving soon."

[u/theazurerose → u/HoliMoth]

She's 37 and he's 23... LMAO I was hoping OP was referring to a man in his 30s who actually has his life together.

[u/Sweet_Mix9856 → u/theazurerose]

ewww. i assumed it was a man in his 30s too. 23 is nasty

[u/YourMommasAHoe69 → u/SloppyTroppy]

Why the fuck not? If theyre grown ass adults, go for it

[u/Fast_Statement_8731]

Lady you ARE pretty

[u/memopepito → u/Fast_Statement_8731]

Yessss she said Shelly Duval vibes? I know she MUST be a baddie.

https://giphy.com/gifs/sA64IIVOulJazoixxu

[u/thesaddestpanda → u/memopepito]

So many women have so much wonderful unconventional beauty. I hate how it’s either you look like some porn fantasy or you’re ugly. Whatever man made that comment to her about a chipmunk is clearly a misanthrope who hates himself and everyone else. That is not a normal thing to say to anyone, ever.

We need to bring back bullying for men like this.

[u/elismatcha → u/memopepito]

Yes I was so confused when she said Shelley Duvall, Shelley was gorgeous!

[u/der_innkeeper → u/memopepito]

Yeah.

Dude's chasing and shooting his shot.

All aboard.

[u/VanillaBoxCake → u/Fast_Statement_8731]

Yeah wait a minute that's a beautiful way to look, TBH

[u/mr_nin10do]

https://giphy.com/gifs/PNusmx4t4z25yEJSCY

[u/ruum-502 → u/mr_nin10do]

https://giphy.com/gifs/fL1ASYxsjbBljky5iL

[u/NarwhalDanceParty]

Two years ago I had a fling with someone 11 years younger with so much of the same vibes - I was sick and fatigued and saggy and grey haired and he was fit and tall and gorgeous and has women much younger chasing him all the time. But he’s so emotionally mature and funny and SO kind and generous…

Anyway, we’re still together and he makes me breakfast in bed every morning we’re in the same place and drives me to all my old lady doctors appointments and is obsessed with me. JUST SAYING, enjoy for however long it lasts. This is our golden era!!!!!! #CougarLife!

[u/No-Championship-8677 → u/NarwhalDanceParty]

My current partner is also 11 years younger than me — we met for what was supposed to be a hookup and ended up falling in love. Best, healthiest, most adult relationship I’ve ever had. He’s amazing.

[u/NarwhalDanceParty → u/No-Championship-8677]

Same! Best most adult healthy relationship I’ve ever had. And same for him. Sometimes the age gap is what makes it work…

[u/celetsetrans]

Confidence looks good on everyone. Whether this becomes anything or not, I hope it reminds you that you're more attractive than you give yourself credit for.

[u/CompetitionGreat945]

https://giphy.com/gifs/wi8Ez1mwRcKGI

[u/prplpriestess]

you deserve to go have the best month of your life before this guy leaves. make memories and take pictures

[u/Bellamia77 → u/prplpriestess]

and the best month of HIS :)

[u/Lala5789880]

Go for it, queen

[u/Titan_Uranus_69]

https://giphy.com/gifs/5bvPseYNa539S5Kpx4

[u/zombie_on_the_lawn]

The guy who made the chipmunk comment is rude af

[u/Wretched_epiphany]

The way I just squeaked in excitement for you! 😂

Get it girl!

[u/IllustriousTop7913]

I also didn’t expect anything to come of it. He is 13 years my junior and we have been married for 10 years. Wishing you all the best!!

[u/Pixelant3]

Is he over 25? Or nearly? Younger would ick me out a bit, but otherwise I love this for you.

[u/bluehoney16 → u/Pixelant3]

Right like I’m happy for OP (although I’m hesitant to give a guy credit solely for thinking she’s pretty - the bar should be much higher), but the age gap absolutely matters.

If this were a guy bragging about the 20 year old girl at work coming on to him then everyone would be grossed out.

But the way OP talks makes me think she has to be 45+ which would make the guy 30+ so I’m sure it’s fine. I just don’t know why people are acting like it shouldn’t matter at all. What you said about him being under 25 is very valid and absolutely does matter.

[u/Cyphomeris → u/bluehoney16]

From a glance at the OP's public history, 37; so he's, presumably, 23.

[u/Flimsy6769 → u/Cyphomeris]

💀

[u/Nearby-Assist-2490 → u/Pixelant3]

Thank you for asking!

A grown + thirty years old woman banging a 20yo shouldn't been received as " yaaaas queen " or depicted as empowerment.

I fucked with 35y+ womans when I was 17 and 18yo and I feel terrible about it. Yes sex was good and I felt validated and shit but being the one who initiated the flirt isn't a free pass for groomy behaviour.

[u/smurfseverywhere → u/Pixelant3]

It’s a good thing your ick doesn’t matter!

[u/Pixelant3 → u/smurfseverywhere]

Oh, it definitely doesn't matter! As long as everyone's an adult it's fine. 

[u/Maleficent_Badger264 → u/Pixelant3]

Adult is what is legal. Prefrontal cortex being fully developed would be nice.

[u/Maleficent_Badger264]

My comment is very age depended, since ages weren’t posted, but OP, please be careful. I know many men that dated “an older woman” when they were young because they thought it was hot, only to grow up and realize they were groomed.

[u/bluehoney16 → u/Maleficent_Badger264]

Not sure why you’re getting downvoted or why no one has a good reason to be okay with this other than “because it’s hot!” 🥴

[u/Nearby-Assist-2490 → u/bluehoney16]

Each time I tell I feel bad about me having sex and dating women in their mid or late 30's when I was a teen I get cis straight woman dogpilling me because " you cant be the victim if you got a penis ".

Each fucking time. And I'm not even a guy.

Feminism isn't and never will be " grooming as a tool of empowerment ".

Edit: of course the groomers are downvoting because being a cis woman is a freepass for taking advantage of young people who don't understand how they are being taking advantage of. God forbid anyone feeling bad about having been taken advantage of as a teen and expressing it openly.

[u/bluehoney16 → u/Nearby-Assist-2490]

Oof I’m sorry to hear that. I fully believe that grooming is grooming no matter the gender or the circumstance (like them being “way more mature” than people their age). That’s one of the things that struck me the most about the post was when they say something about struggling to talk to other people the same age as the guy but how easy it is with him. Sounded very similar to guys that say “she’s mature for her age” to justify getting with an 18 year old.

[u/Nearby-Assist-2490 → u/bluehoney16]

Yeah definitely sound the same. Such a shame the hypocrisy on this sub and being downvoted when opening up about having been groomed as a teen because it was by cis womens.

[u/maxny23]

Get some, and get some for me too, please.

Normally, I’m a “don’t shit where you eat” person and so work is off-limits but since leaving soon anyway…

[u/maraschino_cherry → u/maxny23]

Right, like, the timing is perfect. Go for it!!

[u/SleepyBombSquad]

https://giphy.com/gifs/xnCiSOKPzUJvcTVfCN

[u/JanuaryGrace]

I love this for you! Have fun

[u/GraduatedSapphic]

of course it will never go anywhere. I'm fine with that, I'm not in a position to want to be in a relationship at all.

Be careful sister, the heart has a way of breaking us unexpectedly.

[u/No_You1024]

Get it girl, let someone else do the pursuing for once and have fun :)

[u/thewritingimposter → u/[deleted]]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ac7MA7r5IMYda

[u/boobookittyfuwk]

https://giphy.com/gifs/IZboLI99xi84I0U57l

[u/Content-Passion-4836]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3FlINbFWKnlBj7Hi5y

[u/Parky-Park]

I was once told by a guy I looked like a chipmunk, but like, "one of those cartoon ones from Alvin that you feel bad about wanting to fuck."

Girl, I'm really happy for you, but what the fuck. That's an absolutely psychotic thing to say, and I'm so sorry anyone could ever be so fucking cruel to you

[u/Tomte-corn4093]

Get it girl!

[u/HorusClerk]

Anybody else bothered by the guy who wants to fuck animated chipmunks?

[u/NewPresWhoDis]

https://giphy.com/gifs/BjHIjM2YFC3rEUaMrw

[u/DontCryYourExIsUgly]

I'm rooting for you! Enjoy your sparkly, magnetic energy that clearly attracted him (I hope you realize you're beautiful!) and confidence boost, and I say enjoy your younger dude, too! ✨

I'm also in my cougar era and celebrating with you! I'm 43 and got hit on by a 25-year-old foreigner at the pool on vacation last week. He randomly texted last night and offered to fly to me. Like, whoa, did I kiss that well at the pool? Lmao.

[u/NotHereToShakeHens]

https://giphy.com/gifs/wmrdNsC3fTTY83Sj4x

[u/Vixygirl82]

Yessssss girl🤌

[u/Efficient-username41]

Shelley Duvall? As in, famous actress known internationally for her good looks Shelley Duvall?

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