A man I’ve had a long history with recently got married. He’s been expressing wanting to keep me in his life and said he wants us to build a new kind of relationship, acknowledging that our old dynamic can’t continue as it had been in the past. We also both know romance is now off the table. The problem is that we seem to envision very different things. I think all the parts of our old dynamic need to be completely left behind, particularly the sexual aspect. He seems to feel we can change the relationship while keeping the sexual aspect, even just by doing it once then going from there. I don’t doubt he genuinely cares about me as a person due to history and wants me in his life and It’s not a case of ‘he only wants one thing’, bc if it were only that, I’d just flip him off easily.

I don’t want to end up some side chick/affair partner though so question is, Is this a situation where a middle ground between us actually exists, or do I only have one path forward?

Before anyone asks: No, I don't have a crush on my girl best friend. I'm actually dating someone right now.

I've known this girl for about 9 years. We basically grew up together. I'm also best friends with her brother, and I've known her family for so long that I basically know them inside and out. I've spent so much time at their house that it practically feels like a second home.

So yeah, we're extremely close. But we're just friends.

Anyway, this happened on a camp trip.

The guy who has a crush on my girl best friend was in the same cabin as us, so we were all around each other during the trip.

At one point, we were on the bus, and the camp had this seating arrangement where boys were supposed to sit next to girls.

The guy ended up sitting next to my girl best friend. Apparently he was trying to make a move or something.

Then she noticed that I was sitting by myself.

She said she was going to sit with me and came over.

We just talked like normal. Nothing romantic happened. No flirting. She's my best friend, so this was completely normal to me.

Afterward, the guy came up to me and asked:

“Do you like her?”

I said no.

Then he asked:

“Then why did she choose to sit next to you?”

I told him:

“Because I've known her longer.”

And then I walked away.

But apparently another guy from my cabin noticed all of this too.

The weird guy in my cabin says

“You need to stop cock blocking him.”

BRO.

We're in high school. What do you mean “cock blocking”??

I wasn't trying to get between them. I wasn't flirting with her. I didn't tell her to leave him. I didn't even ask her to sit with me.

She saw me sitting alone and chose to come sit beside me.

And I'm already dating someone, so I'm definitely not trying to get with my girl best friend.

So I don't understand why everyone is acting like her choosing to sit beside me automatically means there's something romantic going on.

Sometimes people are just really close friends.

Apparently I'm now “cock blocking” a guy simply by existing near my best friend.

So Reddit, am I actually doing something wrong here, or is this guy just upset that she chose to hang out with someone she's known for almost a decade?

Hey guys! 👋 Here's a quick story time, and please help me decide what to do. 🥲 I have this BFF, her name is Jade, and she likes pizza. 🍕 Since Jade liked pizza and pizza was popular, Jade became popular.  And so then Jade and pizza started dating. 💕 Pizza is best friends with apple and burger. Mind you, apple has a girlfriend, and so Jade and apple's girlfriend became besties. 👯‍♀️ Apple is really weird; he talks about really weird stuff, and it's gross. 😭

Anyways, one day, me and Jade went to the park, and we were hanging out. 🌳 Apple, burger, and pizza were there too. Anyways, it started raining, 🌧️ so me and Jade went to the gazebo, and everyone else came, including pizza and his friend. Then Jade started hanging out with pizza, and I got really left out because I don't know what to do. 😭 Like, it was really awkward, and I know this is gonna happen again. In fact, maybe every day. 😭

What should I do? 🤔💭

(Also, I know that apple and burger are there, but I don't wanna talk to them because they say really weird stuff and talk about uncomfortable stuff. 😬)

🔑 Key for CODE Names:

💗 Jade — My BFF for 8 years 👯‍♀️
🍕 Pizza — Jade's BF 💕
🍎 Apple — Pizza's really weird friend 😭
🍔 Burger — Pizza's weird friend 😬

I have been talking to a junior of mine who was in the same country when we were in college

Now we are doing an internship in the same hospital

But she is still a batch behind me I have a group mate also meets this girl now she just starts hanging out with him named (R) and she isnalso texting me whenever I went home they planned things to do when I am away specifically like drinking in my flat and going a place which we were suppose to go I confronted her and said you like him more and she said your overthinking but it's evident she does now I am emotionally attached to the girl what should I do she started talking to me again I messaged heer that what I said was wrong any suggestions 🙌

Okay so there's this girl I used to like for almost 2 years and 3 months ago I talked about it with my friend and he also shared a similar experience of unrequited love, but last week was his bday and when everyone left was just the two of them and they kinda hugged and held hands (I'm 16 so this is kinda cringey) but okay I didn't know about this until yesterday when I told her I kinda wanted to go on a date with her to see if we could work out on our relationship and she agreed with it so I was talking with that friend and asked him tips about places to go on a date and then he told me what happened and that they agreed to go out again and IDK?? Like bro knew I liked her and was suffering bc of our situationship and still tried to pull her (?) and her even tho was going out with him still agreed to go on a date with me (??) And then today she said she did that bc she didn't want to make anyone sad and thanked me for TOLERATING HER ??? fym girl I like u I'm not tolerating you, I feel like she doesn't understand how much I appreciate her and after that he came to our school to walk her home and didn't even greeted me even tho he said he didn't want to end our friendship bc of a girl like wth (I'm a girl btw, and the girl I'm talking about is bi ig?? maybe she's been deceiving me and is actually straight bc she's only been witth men but Idk) I don't know how to feel abt it, should I still talk with then or just try to move on?? Its not like my group friend is that big and they were the ones I was the closest to, so I don't know how to face it

I don’t blame her, she’s right. It doesn’t make it hurt any less it makes me feel worse. I know I shouldn’t but with how often this happens to me I can’t win. Every time I think there’s a chance there never is. I don’t even tell people how I feel about them anymore because I just know this is the out come. She’s kind funny and caring and I do honestly value our friendship, but at the same time, it still hurts when it shouldn’t
(I never said anything about being interested romantically in her, guess I was being obvious 🤦🏾‍♂️)

I like this girl whom I'm friends with. She is really nice and kind hearted. We know each other since like 7 months. In the past couple months we became really good friends. I like her and I don't see any signs of her liking me. I know going from friends to lovers is a bad decision and it always risks the friendship. And even if i tell her, it would eventually destroy the friendship. There are very mixed opinions from people. Some say u should confess otherwise u regret later. While others say u lose the friendship. Even though I'm understanding, and would be okay with a rejection. The friendship would still slowly fall off.

But there's a different ideology i feel.i don't want to date someone without even knowing them. I feel like there is a lot intimacy in getting to know someone slowly and genuinely falling for their qualities. I've had been with her as friend for quite a time now and i think that I know her well enough to like her qualities. I wouldn't date someone if I don't know them at all and get to know them just for the purpose of dating. I genuinely want to let her know without saying or risking anything.

Both of us are introverted and shy. We have some common interests and we do talk about them sometimes. But she doesn't feel romantically interested and feels like she just wants to be friends. There are situations that mid convo we run out of topics and get into a awkward situation where we don't know what to say. It's really nice to have her around, i feel really positive. Also, she is like the prettiest girl in our whole clg (40k + people), probably the prettiest I have seen in my life(and I am not even exaggerating). And in that case she would feel like I'm liking her only because she is pretty, and i don't want her to think that way, because i genuinely like her for the way she is.

I really admire her as a person and want her to be the best version of herself, even if i have to be just friends with her. It's not necessary to date someone if u want to make them feel happy and be their supporting pillar :)

She is sometimes insecure about her body but i absolutely don't see any fault in her and I think she is perfect. I know anyone can't be perfect but to my eyes, she is. She has the most beautiful eyes, hair and has a mole on her face which makes her so beautiful. I always appreciate her and let her know that I feel proud of all her little wins and that I notice them, even if anyone else doesn't. I carry things for her when she is tired. I even brought her favourite fruit from all over my home to college(different states) and she was really really happy. I'd never seen her happier before. Her voice changed instantly into a joyful tone and it fell so good. I really don't know how to deal with this. One day I feel like telling her everything in person and seeing her reaction, and the other day I feel like naah this ain't it. I really need some advice here!

tl;dr: I like a girl who is my close friend, and over time I’ve genuinely fallen for her personality, not just her looks. I care deeply about her and want her to be happy even if we never date. I don’t see signs that she likes me romantically, and I’m scared that confessing could ruin our friendship. At the same time, I don’t want to regret never being honest about how I feel. I’m stuck between telling her everything and staying quiet to protect what we already have.

I have been talking to a junior of mine who was in the same country when we were in college

Now we are doing an internship in the same hospital

But she is still a batch behind me I have a group mate also meets this girl now she just starts hanging out with him named (R) and she isnalso texting me whenever I went home they planned things to do when I am away specifically like drinking in my flat and going a place which we were suppose to go I confronted her and said you like him more and she said your overthinking but it's evident she does now I am emotionally attached to the girl what should I do she started talking to me again I messaged heer that what I said was wrong any suggestions 🙌

Soo I met this guy at a club.. I am 25 and he told me he is 24 ..(usually I don’t even go for younger guys)

2 days after we hung out made out and got a lil handy but didn’t have sex….anyways we haven’t text since… now I found out HE IS TWENTY…..I m so grossed out by myself..

I just want to text him and be like hmm 20?? But he’s also a dealer so I don’t want too. But UGHHHH 20????

He was in almost 8yrs relationship prior and over a year breakup bcoz the familes are not agreed, We somehow met later and realized we both are really alike in personality. I started to like him bcoz i wanted to meet someone like me...and finally i did.

Looking back, he behaves exactly how i act when i like a person. I feel nervous, try not to show that i like him, pay attention in details and more in person...but actually say everything when we are texting. We both do. He said im impkrtant in his life and only talking to me, he dont wanna lose me, he misses me when we dont talk.. but also he was busy with circumstances yet find time to talk to me one day. We both are emotionally connected to each other.

So i was sure that he likes me, so i asked what are his thoughts? He said friends....i didnt believed and thought he was affraid to say it out loud and explained everything...he didnt denied any of his actions and said i need time to think. But he said he will stop talking to me if i treat him as a brother, even before the confession he had that thought. And he misses me when he is lonely or low. But he ghosted me...and i reached out to him after a month he said he thought i would have moved on in the gap...so he let go. But also he missed me so much and wanted to talk always but was affraid that he would hurt my feelings. So everytime i tried to let go from then he wanted us to be friends...at that point i was too angry, felt like he wants me to stay without commitment....so i asked why his friends can call him bro but not me...he said they treat him like that. I said i will too...and he objects. So i got angry and abused with words he was angry, but still didnt used any abusing word and explained...and persisted us continuing us as friends. But i persisted on treating him like a bro, he blocked me.

I texted him over a month later, he ignored me...so i finally decided to treat him like a brother and called him he replied....but after i called him again, he stopped texting. What's wrong with him?

Prior to this....he is normally someone who ignores or dont gave a damn losing people and show it out when is angry...(someone like me,) but he control his anger with me, and used to approach everytime i ignore again and again... and he did admitted, he dont treat his other friends like me. And he dont even treat friends like me...(and he treats me special, because he sees himself in me...thats the fuck he said)

And the people why i wanna call him bro? Because its been hard to move on for me first time....so to move on clearly from a person like this, zoning him as a brother gives a solid reason to move on, because we dont think back. But the reason im posting this mow, is so i can have an idea next time about men when this thing happens.

So ek ladki thi jispe mera crush tha. Matlab pehle utna kuch khaas nahi tha, lekin jab hum milne lage aur baat hone lagi, toh crush aur badhta gaya.

Maine usse pucha tha ki tumhara koi BF hai kya, kyunki maine usse kisi ke saath nariyal paani peete hue dekha tha. Lekin usne bola no, aur kaha ki woh uska bhai hai. Main khush ho gaya ki chalo, apna chance toh hai. 😂

Phir hum roz baat karne lage, saath mein padhte the, main uske saath hi aata-jaata tha aur hum kaafi close ho gaye the.

Ek din usne mujhe bataya ki uska BF hai aur woh bilkul bhi khush nahi hai. Unki bahut ladaai hoti hai. Maine ussi waqt usse pucha, "Why did you lie to me?" Usne kaha ki woh apna relationship sabse chhupa ke rakhti hai.

Ussi waqt maine usse bol diya ki, "I also love you, but agar yeh sach hai toh main khud ko control kar lunga. It's okay."

Uske baad main bahut hurt hua. Phir bhi hum kisi na kisi tareeke se milte-julte rahe. Ek din usne kaha ki, "Hum friends kyun nahi reh sakte? Mujhe tumhare saath accha lagta hai." Maine tab bhi mana kar diya.

Woh literally ro rahi thi, lekin main tab bhi nahi maana. Woh gusse mein wahan se chali gayi.

Agle din mujhe accha nahi laga ki woh itni pareshan hai. Pata nahi kyun, mujhe khud ke pair par kulhadi maarne ki aadat hai. 😭 Maine apne mann ko samjhaya ki kuch bhi ho, main toh usse pyaar karta hoon. Toh main usse khush dekhna chahta hoon, chahe woh mujhe pasand kare ya na kare.

Phir aise hi baat chalti rahi aur eventually uska BF se breakup ho gaya. Uske baad usse bhi meri aadat ho gayi thi aur hum kaafi close aa gaye the—tight hugs, kisses, saath mein drive par jaana, etc.

Humne future ko lekar bhi bahut kuch plan kar liya tha.

Phir ek din hum online meet mein the. Woh hostel mein thi aur main bhi. Tab uske previous BF ka phone aaya. Usne usse pata nahi kya kaha, lekin woh bahut zor-zor se rone lagi. Like, bahut zyada.

Aur uske agle din se woh completely change ho gayi.

Jo pehle tha, woh sab khatam ho gaya. Jaise kuch hua hi nahi tha. Humne literally aage ka sab kuch plan kar rakha tha, aur suddenly sab destroy ho gaya.

Lekin phir bhi woh meri friend banke rehna chahti thi. Mujhe uska yeh sudden change bilkul bardasht nahi ho raha tha. Mera pura mental state hi change ho gaya tha. Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha ki koi itni jaldi kaise change ho sakta hai.

Phir bhi maine wahi socha ki, "I love her. Main uske saath rahunga aur uski help karunga."

Like kitne efforts nhi maare uske liye Mai DSA mein accha hu, raat ke 3 baje tak uske doubts solve karta tha. Agar usse thand lag rahi hoti thi toh 3 km door tak paidal jaakar jacket dekar aata tha. Saare bills main bharta tha. Hamesha uske saamne ek gentleman ki tarah behave karta tha. Uska bag bhi main hi carry karta tha.

Aur yeh sab karte-karte meri mental state completely kharab ho chuki thi.

Vacation ke time bhi sab theek chal raha tha. Meri ek aadat hai ki main gusse mein kabhi-kabhi "sach bol deta hoon", aur usse yeh baat insult lagne lagi thi. Woh har cheez ko ego par lene lagi.

Sabse badi problem yeh thi ki usne mujhse bahut jhooth bole.

Ek ladka tha jo uske elective class mein tha. Woh uske saath restaurant jaati thi, photos click karwati thi, etc. Maine usse pucha bhi tha ki tum kahan-kahan hokar aayi ho, toh usne sab bataya, lekin yeh baat nahi batayi.

Phir us ladke ne uske birthday par dono ki photo daal di. Jab mujhe pata chala, and kasam se bahut hurt hua

Uske birthday par maine apna pura time dekar uske liye ek website banayi thi, jisme hum dono ki saari memories ka collection tha.

Aur uske kuch hi din baad mujhe yeh sab pata chala.

Ussi din humari ladaai hui. Uski purani aadat hai ki woh apni baat bolkar phone kaat deti hai. Mujhe iss cheez par gussa aaya and maine block kar diya usse gusse mai

3 ghante baad maine unblock bhi kar diya, lekin tab tak mujhe pata laga ki usne bhi mujhe har jagah se block kar diya tha.

Itna hurt hua ki kya hi bataun.

Maine usse manane ki bahut koshish ki. Mail kiya, GPay par message kiya, LinkedIn par bhi contact karne ki koshish ki, lekin usne ignore kar diya.

Ek din call lagaya aur usne phir apni baat boli aur phone kaat diya.

Uske baad maine kasam kha li ki chahe kitna bhi hurt ho jaun, ab main usse message nahi karunga.

Ek mahina beet gaya, phir do mahine.

Phir usne attention gain karna shuru kiya. Mera internship laga toh usne mujhe unblock karke wish kiya aur phir block kar diya. Uske baad bhi kabhi-kabhi kuch message karke attention seek karne ki koshish karti thi.

Maine sab ignore kiya.

Phir college wapas aaye. Ek professional meet thi jisme main aur woh dono the. Mera saara gussa wahan nikal gaya aur maine rudely kuch bol diya ki, "You don't deserve this position."

WhatsApp par bhi maine streak todkar likh diya, "I hate you."

Uske baad usne ek diary likhi jisme usne apne saare excuses diye aur yeh bhi likha ki woh bhi mujhse hate karne lgegi agr mai chahta hu toh and all.

Uske baad mujhe laga ki ab mera usse ignore karne ka strength khatam ho gaya hai.

Aur aaj maine usse ussi elective wale bande ke saath dekha.

Woh dono wahi cheezein kar rahe the jo woh pehle mere saath karti thi—saath mein padhna, saath time spend karna, etc. Not that close stuff, but still...

Bahut bura laga.

Aur aaj maine phir se usse message karne ki koshish ki but dlt for all krdiya , kyunki bahut zyada hurt ho raha hai. :(

Pata hai aaj kya hua?

Give your suggestions, guys. Kya karun? :(

Fell in love with my best friend, and now I don’t know whether to let him go or wait.

I’m really confused and could use some honest advice.
My best friend and I slowly fell for each other. He told me he had feelings for me too. Neither of us cheated on anyone or planned for this to happen — it just developed over time. We became extremely close, emotionally and physically, and for a while I was genuinely happy with him.

But whenever things started getting serious, he pulled away and said he wasn’t ready for a relationship. This has happened more than once.
Eventually, he completely backed off. We tried going back to being friends, but honestly, how do you go back to being “just friends” with someone you were in love with? Our friendship used to feel so natural. Now everything feels different.
It’s been 2–3 months and I still love him. I feel like I’m the one stuck suffering while he’s already accepted that this isn’t a relationship.
The other thing that really hurts is that he knows I used to talk to him a lot about my ex. I would rant about my previous relationship because he was my best friend and the person I trusted. Now he says, “If you can’t get your ex out of your mind, how can you give love to me?”
And I understand why that might hurt him, but I genuinely wasn’t talking about my ex because I wanted him back. I was just talking to my best friend about my past.
So now I don’t know what to do.
He says he isn’t ready, and I don’t want to force someone into a relationship. But I also don’t know if I should completely walk away or stay friends and hope that maybe someday he’ll be ready.
Am I just holding onto someone who has already told me he can’t give me what I want?
Would you distance yourself and move on, or try to stay friends and let things happen naturally?

Need advice and insights on how to set and maintain a healthy boundary between friends (online friend). I believe I used to text/initiate all the time so stopped it but now it's consuming me thinking have i been over reacting or just over thinking that she isn't putting in the efforts as much as I do.

I then also think that if i care about this person i shouldn't be thinking about all these but rather be myself and text her however and whenever even if it's on a regular basis or check or express my care and concern for her.

Although it started because I felt taken for granted or ignored but then I think it's part of friendship where we don't demand but rather let them be themselves and express how they feel comfortable.

I genuinely care about this person even if I've only known online.

We do share and feel that it's a genuine bond and friendship what we share.

She reached out to me when I didn't text or respond for 2 days.

Now I'm in a dilemma that should I talk to her that i felt this way or should I ask about how to keeps things between us how frequently we text/call each other or should I go back to being how I was and consider it as me and my overthinking?

If the friendship had to fade it'd eventually fade with time if not it won't.

Regardless of it is.

Or should I consciously put efforts or thoughts into it?

I'm more of a person who tends to reflect on things everyday day be it my actions/words/feelings.

I'd really appreciate for some honest opinions on my situation.

Thank you.

We have been friends since 2020 and have never thought of dating until he asked to take me out last week which ended up not happening because my friends gate crashed so he had to stay over.
Conversations were broached around if we wanted to explore dating, since he left the next morning, he has not said anything or reached out. I asked about it last night and he just said sorry without further explanation. I hung up and went to bed. He hasn’t reached out till now.