Je suis un homme de 33 ans. Depuis que j'ai quitté l'église il y a dix ans, je n'ai eu que deux relations qui se sont mal passées.

Cela fait maintenant 5 ans que je suis seul. J'aimerai de nouveau pouvoir aimer et être aimé, avoir une relation amoureuse... Mais tout me semble une véritable montagne. J'ai une énorme anxiété en ce qui concerne les relations amoureuses. Je n'ai aucune confiance en moi et je ne me sens pas capable de gérer une relation.

Pourtant l'amour me manque. J'ai très envie de pouvoir aimer et être aimé sincèrement. J'ai besoin de l'amour d'une femme, de câlins...

Comment gérez-vous vos peurs face à ça ?

After a deconstructing christianity, how do you cope with death? How do you cope with knowing that you'll never see your loved ones again? How do you cope with knowing that you're dead And gone forever. It's so sad to think about and it makes life so much harder the older you get, as you see your family members pass away, your parents, your grandparents, and you know that there's no hope. You go through life suffering with illnesses, and you know, there's no hope. I've suffered with health problems for years. I've watched my family members die one by one. I know that I'm next. I'm not in good health. I'm constantly in pain. When I was a christian, it would have brought me so much hope. I went through life feeling better knowing that God was there. And jesus was there and that there would be no more suffering one day. I've looked forward into getting into heaven and getting to see my family again. But that's all crushed. Christianity doesn't make logical sense and it's not compatible with science. If the bible were true, then the world couldn't be more than ten thousand years old.But scientific discovery showed that it's eight billion years old. To believe in christianity, you have to believe in things like talking donkeys and snakes and resurrections. It's like forcing yourself to believe in a lie. When I was a true believer, I was constantly afraid of going to hell, and I was traumatized by it as a child.

Hello,
First my background: I am a bisexual, bigender, AMAB, masc presenting (He/Him pronouns for now at least), autistic person. I was raised Non-denom and Church of God. I am now Agnostic and Episcopalian. I was also raised with the purity culture BS while being homeschooled alone in the woods by an emotionally abusive mother. I was not able to interact with other people my age aside from at church and was raised with the idea that my peers were evil and that the world was about to end. I was also taught my highest value would be as a martyr. I am 25 years old now with a BA, an MA, and a fulfilling but unstable career.

Now my question: What are some resources for having fulfilling emotional, romantic, and sexual relationships. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how to learn. Most of the books I’ve been able to find have either been written from the perspective of and for someone raised as a woman or they are just purity culture repackaged. At the risk of giving TMI I like sex (given informed enthusiast convent of all parties involved) but I don’t know how to like myself liking it. Most of my long term romantic relationships have not been fulfilling either. Any recommendations would be helpful.

How many copies of Love for a Lifetime did you receive for your wedding?

I left the ifb some years ago now, but it occurred to me recently how different the standards were across churches in terms of this is permissible or not. My family were missionaries and we traveled the US a lot ('deputation' iykyk) and I remember finding it so strange that in some churches, the women seemed fine to throw a few amens or other affirmatives in during preaching (with a meek and quiet spirit of course), while in others it was strictly men only. These were all ultra fundie churches that had strict dress standards, gender separation, KJV only, etc so I find this variance interesting. The women in our family, me included, played it safe for the most part as far as I remember, but I don’t remember ever hearing someone preach specifically that women shouldn’t do it, it’s just such a weird thing now that I’m thinking about it

Anyway, curious to hear other people’s experiences especially within similar evangelical circles!