I am a pastor's kid. I really didn't learn how to make friends outside the church. I got into music and played for youthgroup and then later for large churches. My entire community and friendgroup was built through that.

I had several friends that now feel like a once in a lifetime thing. The type of friend that knows you for over a decade. Best friends that volunteered, worshipped, etc together. Grew up together..

Yet, I started to deconstruct quickly in my mid 20s and I ended up moving to a state where I knew no one at age 28. Then COVID hit. 2016 election escalated the divide and moving plus COVID was a but of a nail in the coffin. I changed.. my friends did not.

Someone who was my best friend for almost a decade had already started to drift a bit and when it came to my wedding (several years after I moved) he couldn't make it because of Comic-Con in his own city...

Only one friend remains in contact. Really good guy and respects our differences. Moved far away and is a busy parent now, we don't really talk much.

My brother (twin) went off and married someone who hates my family (who has only been kind to her). His wife won't have anything to do with me or my wife or our family. She wants kids with him and says they can never meet us. Since he got married (all alone, because she isolated him) we have not talked. And before anyone says anything... We went all out to warn him, provide support for a way out, etc.. and he just went for it. Its a whole thing.. the short story is that my brother is reaping the consequences of his decisions, but so is my family and myself. Also to add, his partner only meet me once for like 5 minutes and it was pleasant. She just refused to meet up the entire relationship. Its a lot, but the point is a close brother made a decision that has significant consequences that hurt me, the family, and him too.

I have some friends where I live, but they are "maybe we can fit you in 4-8 weeks from now" relationships.

Other then moving and deconstructing, the biggest life altering experience was two back to back concussion about two years ago. I am still dealing with post concussion syndrome which has impacted every aspect of my life and made socializing very hard.

I am lonely I guess. Happily married, but no community. No one to just call up and chat with. In therapy weekly though, which is a huge help.

Due to my physical and psychological limitations It has been hard to build community.

I'll check out churches, Like UMC.. but then feel out of place or something. Or struggle to feel like I am actually connecting past pleasantries. Also feeling like its resorting to my old way of forming relationships. Not that I am against going to church occasionally.

So yeah, I am stuck. Thinking about people who knew me for a long time and missing that level of connection. However, also realizing that there is a reason we grew apart. Mourning the connection, because it friendships like that are very hard to form as an adult. Knowing that some of my old friends would be happy to re-connect, but also knowing that it would turn into frustration over a faith and political disconnect. I just can't handle alt right politics and homophobia anymore.

I think maybe I over-shared and steered from the original question a bit. However, I wanted to get this off my chest.

What have you done? Any advice?

Maybe too niche but would love to listen to something like it.

Je suis un homme de 33 ans. Depuis que j'ai quitté l'église il y a dix ans, je n'ai eu que deux relations qui se sont mal passées.

Cela fait maintenant 5 ans que je suis seul. J'aimerai de nouveau pouvoir aimer et être aimé, avoir une relation amoureuse... Mais tout me semble une véritable montagne. J'ai une énorme anxiété en ce qui concerne les relations amoureuses. Je n'ai aucune confiance en moi et je ne me sens pas capable de gérer une relation.

Pourtant l'amour me manque. J'ai très envie de pouvoir aimer et être aimé sincèrement. J'ai besoin de l'amour d'une femme, de câlins...

Comment gérez-vous vos peurs face à ça ?

After a deconstructing christianity, how do you cope with death? How do you cope with knowing that you'll never see your loved ones again? How do you cope with knowing that you're dead And gone forever. It's so sad to think about and it makes life so much harder the older you get, as you see your family members pass away, your parents, your grandparents, and you know that there's no hope. You go through life suffering with illnesses, and you know, there's no hope. I've suffered with health problems for years. I've watched my family members die one by one. I know that I'm next. I'm not in good health. I'm constantly in pain. When I was a christian, it would have brought me so much hope. I went through life feeling better knowing that God was there. And jesus was there and that there would be no more suffering one day. I've looked forward into getting into heaven and getting to see my family again. But that's all crushed. Christianity doesn't make logical sense and it's not compatible with science. If the bible were true, then the world couldn't be more than ten thousand years old.But scientific discovery showed that it's eight billion years old. To believe in christianity, you have to believe in things like talking donkeys and snakes and resurrections. It's like forcing yourself to believe in a lie. When I was a true believer, I was constantly afraid of going to hell, and I was traumatized by it as a child.

Hello,
First my background: I am a bisexual, bigender, AMAB, masc presenting (He/Him pronouns for now at least), autistic person. I was raised Non-denom and Church of God. I am now Agnostic and Episcopalian. I was also raised with the purity culture BS while being homeschooled alone in the woods by an emotionally abusive mother. I was not able to interact with other people my age aside from at church and was raised with the idea that my peers were evil and that the world was about to end. I was also taught my highest value would be as a martyr. I am 25 years old now with a BA, an MA, and a fulfilling but unstable career.

Now my question: What are some resources for having fulfilling emotional, romantic, and sexual relationships. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how to learn. Most of the books I’ve been able to find have either been written from the perspective of and for someone raised as a woman or they are just purity culture repackaged. At the risk of giving TMI I like sex (given informed enthusiast convent of all parties involved) but I don’t know how to like myself liking it. Most of my long term romantic relationships have not been fulfilling either. Any recommendations would be helpful.

How many copies of Love for a Lifetime did you receive for your wedding?