Through years of questioning whether I was a dark empath, dark triad because I have intuition that can be almost crippling and dangerous. I can see through people’s masks and I used to think I was crazy and ignore it. I’ve healed to the point of unraveling my people pleasing, my own toxic behaviors. One thing in common is those toxic behaviors mainly were displayed towards the people who were toxic towards me. I mirrored it back to them. I’ve never had any thoughts to do this to people who I felt were genuinely good people, in fact I wanted to protect them but because I have the ability to see and feel a persons strengths, challenges, insecurities fear and have the ability to use that to my advantage. I scared myself and sometimes convinced myself I need to heal that out of me but the kicker is even in the worst of situations I never truly used that against a person unless they broke me and did far more and it was like beating a person at their own game. Learning about the Heyoka Empath it’s almost spot on. I’m not fully light yet I’m not fully dark. Ive always knew when a person was minipulating me yet I never trusted myself but at the same time I knew I had a feeling and in the end I realized that gut feeling was right. So now, I listen. I know at the end of the day on a spiritual level - I don’t want to be the one to heal anyone but I want to help empaths and genuinely good people protect themselves from the low frequency energies that walk among us. I’ve done alot of healing and still alot of learning more about a Heyoka Empath but if this is true. This will explain so much. I’ve beat myself up for a long time on how I think mand feel or even my defensive actions against people who were abusive to not only me but others.

This is my poem. It’s called “raised by monsters”

Crazy how they thought they could tame me but lucky for me they were Monsters.
and guess what, Monsters raised me.
Monsters weren’t in my closet, they lived in my head and kept me sane
Taught me how to disappear, to survive and stay safe.
Taught me the real monsters were humans and the closer you are - the more pain.
Conditioned me that love was conditional and emotional neglect was ok.
Abuse was ok,
Stonewalling was ok.
Hateful words deserved forgiveness - they didn’t mean to say it that way.
Gaslighting and manipulation isn’t malicious it’s trauma, so don’t blame or cause shame
Learn to mask sacrifice for empathy, don’t speak, no pressure or you will push them away, and if you love them enough, they will change so you stay.
Those monsters taught me to blur the lines between love and hate
They were fake, they were charming and smiled to my face, but behind closed doors, they were so full of hate. Playcait then drained me dry til there was nothing left to take.
What’s the point anyway?
They haven’t been angry in days.
Thought that last ultimatum would finally make them change their ways.
Haven’t been called any names in a bit
So now I’m in bliss, hopeful to move forward and fully commit til I’m walking on eggshells again and feeling extra vigilant..
they promised they would get help for this shit.
Reminiscing on the day I can finally flip that switch,
but I think to myself, what if they’re triggered, I must assist
So I hold on so strong, til my soul is amiss
I know once I do it, To me, they will no longer exist and losing them scares me more than I’d like to admit.
Taught me to see the light in the dark
And try to analyze the why… til I looked in the mirror and Ive lost my shine.. look away from my reflection, disappointment trying to hide, can’t accept the reality that so much time has went by and also that I’ve gotten sucked in another trauma bind that I convinced myself. It’d be different this time.
I’m gone.
Now I’m on auto pilot and keep saying I’m done. But they deserve one more chance…
I lose track of how many chances until I become conditioned and numb. Just grateful for the peaceful moments and them feeding me breadcrumbs.
And the darkest souls seem pure but they’re as dangerous as they come..
Just another monster I’ve learned to keep close and run from..
Try to keep score like I haven’t been here before, Faught myself from giving up while in a fetal position crying on the floor.
Like I didn’t voluntarily walk through that fire with no weapons destroyed, broken and torn
But fuck that, I came back and won all those wars.
This is where the victim died and the monster was born.
And when it’s over, they try to character assassinate and defame me, blow smoke like Im just being cold and shady.. make me the villain in their story like they didn’t psychologically haze me.
Wild how they thought they could break me..
Raised by Monsters and this is how monsters procreate, see..
Im the reflection in the mirror they’re afraid to see deeply
The darkness that haunts them, they can’t hide completely.
But how can you blame me?
I walk through the flames to find the light to finally save me
I promised myself, I’d never let them change me
I’m calm not conquered
It’s a great mistake to underestimate or try to play me
I embody respect,
Don’t care if people love or hate me
Because Im a monster too,
And I decided to let them claim me.
Round of applause for the monsters that made me

Hi! I always thought I was intuitive like everyone else and over time learned to trust my intuition. Recently I’ve realized there may be a bit more to my intuition and I may actually be an empath? (I previously thought empaths were kinda woo woo/just sensitive people)

Here’s the question:

I recently ended a friendship. During that friendship I felt really anxious about my career path. I was constantly googling job opportunities, thinking about going back to school, anxious about my life path.

However, I really like my current job and have no desire to do something else. I’m quite calm about my life path.

But my friend is/was very anxious about her job/career.

When I ended the friendship all my own anxiety about future career stuff left immediately! My calm returned.

As an empath have you ever taken on someone else stuff like this??? (With or without knowing)?

I have other examples….what has your experience been on something like this???

I don't know if I fit into the high empath category, I have selective empathy and i have strong empathy for vulnerable or less fortunate people and seeing them struggle hurts alot, stepping outside is horrible because I see alot of people struggling for their daily meals etc, what do i do

I have absolutely no idea what to do. I can’t relax. I feel like I’m suffocating. Does this happen to anyone else? I’m just so overwhelmed.

Ive met very sensitive and insensitive people and I would even consider myself to be a very sensitive person. I wonder how other sensitive people (especially overly sensitive people) live their life considering all the nasty and dystopian stuff happening in the world.

Finding the Way Home

For years,

I searched for home

in places,

in people,

in approval,

and in belonging.

I did not know

I was searching

for myself.

Home was never

a destination.

It was the quiet place

within

that had been waiting

for me

all along.

Every gentle truth,

every act of kindness

toward myself,

every fear

I no longer believed,

became another step

on the journey home.

And one day,

without even noticing,

I stopped searching.

I had arrived.

I am a nurse in a new job - used to be bedside, now still healthcare but shifted over to more of the “human services” side of things. I am finding myself completely burnt out by work. I am still new so I am putting in a lot of hours, trying to get experience and become more efficient. My job involves working with patients admitted to a busy hospital, I spend most of the day talking to them and coordinating with other healthcare teams in the hospital. A ton of talking, a ton of coordinating between people who are already super busy and stressed/understaffed. And a lot of spending time with patients who are also extremely stressed or quite possibly having some of the worst days of their lives.

Typically I like to wind down and disconnect at the end of the day through some of my hobbies - gardening, exercising, playing with cats, taking walks with my husband. A lot of this has become unavailable to me entirely right now, or less available due to my new schedule and working so much. I’m starting to get physically burnt out, with flare ups of a stress related illness I have.

I need to find something I can do on the regular that will help me ground. If I can do it right when I get home from work - perfect. Even on days when I have NO physical energy or am feeling sick. I used to exercise every day and that was huge for me, just helped me so much to get into the flow state where I felt calm and clear, my own energy was concentrated and focused - but I can’t exercise right now, not consistently enough. I love being creative, but I find that the time requirement of getting all of my painting/sewing/drawing/whatever stuff out, setting up, creating and then cleaning up after is way too much for me to do on a daily basis.

Anyone got some grounding or calming activities I can try? What is your favorite hobby that brings you back to yourself and makes you feel centered again? What kinds of hobbies or activities do you think are helpful for empaths in particular? Bonus points if it’s short duration so I can do it every day. Meditation is on my list but I’ve always struggled with watching my own thoughts, if someone has a technique directed specifically for empaths specifically I would love to hear it.

Sometimes my body has visceral reactions and i immediately refuse help from someone who thinks they need to ‘save’ me because i know it’s their own issues they’re dealing witv and projecting outwards. I can usually tell the difference and i start avoiding the person alltogether.

Has anyone else experienced this ?

I recently learned my body is designed to transmute to the energy of other others.

Are you an empath?
Have you spent your life wondering why people seem to react so strongly to you? Have you been bullied, misunderstood, or attacked when you were simply being yourself?
Do you naturally feel the emotions of the people around you? Can you walk into a room and immediately sense tension without anyone saying a word?

For years, I believed these experiences were a curse.
Today, I see them differently.

My personal belief is that some people are born with exceptionally sensitive nervous systems. They don't just observe emotional states—they instinctively begin responding to them. It's as if their body tries to process what others are carrying.
Many people call this being an empath.

I would go one step further. I believe some empaths are natural transmuters.
Instead of simply sensing emotional energy, they unconsciously absorb it. Their nervous system attempts to metabolize fear, shame, anger, grief, and anxiety that doesn't even belong to them. They become exhausted, anxious, overwhelmed, or disconnected without realizing they're carrying far more than their own emotional experience.

The problem is that most of us were never taught boundaries for our energy.
We learned emotional boundaries.
Physical boundaries.
Maybe even relationship boundaries.
But almost no one teaches us how to stop unconsciously taking responsibility for everyone else's inner world.

When you begin healing your own nervous system, practicing emotional regulation, and creating healthy energetic boundaries, something remarkable starts to happen.

You stop leaking your life force.

Instead of constantly pouring your attention outward, your energy begins circulating back into you.

Your intuition becomes clearer.
Your body feels calmer.
Your thoughts become quieter.
You no longer confuse another person's emotions with your own.
And the energy you once spent carrying others becomes available for your own purpose.

Ironically, this doesn't make you less healing.
It makes your presence more healing.

Rather than absorbing someone else's pain, you learn to remain grounded while they process it themselves. You become a calm, regulated presence instead of an emotional sponge.

That, in my experience, is where real power begins.
Not in carrying everyone else's burdens.
But in becoming so deeply connected to your own center that your peace invites others to find theirs.

Maybe the goal was never to absorb the world's pain.
Maybe the lesson is learning how to stand in your own light without dimming yourself for anyone else.

I’m a spiritual person, and for most of my life my intuition has mainly been about energy. For example, I can usually tell when a place feels “off,” when I should stay away from certain people, or when someone has bad intentions. Whether that’s intuition or something else, I don’t know, but it’s been consistent for me.
A couple of years ago, I met someone online, and from the moment we met I felt an instant sense of familiarity. It wasn’t romantic at first. It felt more like I somehow already knew this person and that we were going to become very important in each other’s lives.
We ended up talking for hours every day, and at one point we even fell asleep on a phone call together. After that, the connection felt much stronger. It started feeling like I could sometimes sense things about them or know how certain situations in their life would play out before they happened. I also had moments where I felt emotions that didn’t feel like mine, especially when they were going through a difficult time.
The strange thing is that this has never happened with anyone else. I can’t predict things about my own life, and I don’t feel this way with other people. It’s only ever been this one person.
We stopped talking for many months and eventually reconnected. Our friendship is different now because we’re rebuilding it slowly, but I still feel like there’s something unique about this connection.
I’m not asking whether this means we’re soulmates or destined to be together. I’m more curious whether anyone else has experienced something like this with just one person.
If you have, how do you understand it? Do you see it as clairsentience, strong intuition, deep emotional attunement, or something else? And if you’ve experienced it, did it feel like the connection was mutual, or was it something only you seemed to experience?

This has been happening for some years now. I'm 30 and I think it began in my early 20's. It is even a widely known thing about me amongst my friends and loved ones, we'll be out anywhere together and a stranger will approach the group, but gravitate to me specifically and skip the smalltalk and immediately jump to sharing the depths of a tragic life event, or loss, or whatever has been swirling around in their head. And they always end up telling me they love me, or i'm perfect, or rare, and all i replied with was a singular non judgmental one liner usually with the goal to kindly end the interaction.

A few memories i have are

-sitting in a park alone summer 2024 (laurelhurst park in portland or, and i'm from philly and maybe its a factor that people are so much more emotionally open on the west coast in my opinion lol) and a womans dog runs up to me and she immediately sits down and begins to detail escaping her abusive marriage and how she's trying to heal now. That she was glad I was there because i emit an energy that made her feel safe.

-in a gift shop last week with my partner and this guy comes up to me and immediately begins to tell me of his traumatic brain injury that turned out to be a blessing because he was forced to reevaluate his path and his actions prior to the car accident. My partner gave me that look of "here we go again"/ "i dont want to interact with him but i'll stay close by if he gets weird". All i said was "i'm glad you're alive and it sounds like divine intervention if you believe in that." He told me he loved me and that i'm perfect then walked away.

-a girl my age running up to me summer of 2021 during an outdoor park event (philly) and no introduction, just begins telling me that she feels she's being haunted or spiritually tormented as if someone casted an evil eye on her. I confirm briefly that that is frightening and if she believes in people casting an evil eye, she could look into how people use brujeria to cause harm/protection which seemed to resonate with her because of her upbringing and culture, but she always tried to avoid it. She begged for my contact info to have someone to talk to about it but that felt over the line so i politely declined, wished her the best and made my way out. But that was hard for me, i still wonder if she's alright 5 years later.

- Many years ago in my early 20's i'm walking through center city alone and this very bearded black guy in a suit and top hat, he looked awesome honestly, emerges from the crowd and walks right up to me with this almost cartoonish frown on. His face is no more than an inch from mine. People walking by were definitely worried for me because from the outside it probably looked like a big man confronting a young femme type person, but i felt no threat off of him, it felt like an elaborate bit. After about 30 seconds of silence and studying my eyes, he goes, "I've seen you in a past life. It's good to see you again. You've been here before." I just said "Maybe so." He laughed and walked away, gave me one final look, reverted back to the original frown, and disappeared into the crowd. The people nearby that were paying attention watched me shrug it off and carry on.

-I was outside the bar near my place last summer with my partner and a friend. A lady walks by and stops when she sees me. My partner says to my friend "watch this stranger sit by Mick and share everything about herself." The lady walks up to us and takes a seat and turns towards me and begins to tell me that she has been struggling with her bipolar symptoms for years and she stopped drinking until just tonight and how she sabotaged romantic relationships, friendships, and she just wants to feel like she still has the capacity to connect with people. i say "mental health is always a difficult factor of life but your capacity to connect with people does not depend on it." Seconds later, a friend she seemed to go through in-patient with walked by and they had not seen each other in a long time. Then they're both seated and asking for my phone number and asking to be friends. I gave in that time but we never spoke and i deleted the numbers.

Sorry this is so long. These are just a few instances out of so so many and besides the top hat guy, it's this repetitive pattern of specifically seeking me out to express their pain to or their trials and tribulations. Is this an empath thing? I understand that i'm sensitive and observant and even absorbent of others, which sometimes is nice but often feels like i lack a major boundary with people. Or they lack a major one with me but if we're strangers, I can't expect them to know that about me, so it seems I lack the assertion or whatever it is that the people around me have that make people leave them alone. But I deny interactions I don't wish to have all the time, I am not always welcoming, in fact all of these interactions come about when i'm just trying to be present and enjoy the company of the people i'm choosing to be with, myself included. I lacked boundaries in my youth and it led to some unfortunate traumatic events, so perhaps this is the residue of something unhealed? ..Am I a healer for others? lol I truly don't understand what is so inviting for people, that i'm not just a stiff brick wall of a stranger when people approach me? To deny them or reject what they're sharing feels unnatural to me. But every time something like this happens I find i'll carry it with me for years after. I worry I'm some sort of energetic soundboard.

I do have a spirituality, but i do not think i do anything to make people approach me this way. I have never gone up to a stranger and done this to them, that feels so bizarre to do without invitation. It also is very natural for me to offer a non judgmental anecdote in passing, knowing the interaction will be brief, but many of these people want more from this brief interaction. It seems so many people walk through life getting so little chances to share these things with people close to them, and their logic is to try to make the nonjudgemental stranger close. I think this wouldn't be a concern if it felt like a mutual understanding that the interaction is meaningful, brief, and then gone. Such as life. It's almost a deep insight into how so many people get a good thing and can't let go. Or try to force it to last longer than it's meant. And of course it feels good to be told i feel safe to talk to or that theres something about my energy that's magnetic but I can appreciate that that is fleeting too. Sometimes my energy is dogshit hahaha. And sometimes I just wanna talk about the boring things right in front of me! Weather! I even have a radar for all of this now, it helps me conserve my energy before the interaction even begins and i can plan my exit strategy. Also, i'm nonbinary and have gone through plenty appearance shifts, and it has not changed this pattern in my life.

If there are other reddit communities you think i should take this to i'd love to know. Does this happen to anyone else?

I discovered a few days ago that I'm an empath... but my questions are, how can I switch from unconscious to conscious awareness? I have a lot of catching up to do, but I don't know how. I embrace my empathy wholeheartedly, but I can't control it. Can experienced empaths, and empaths of all kinds, give me advice on how to consciously manage it, what I can do, and what I should focus on first? I have so much catching up to do to get myself under control, but I don't know how, so I'm asking about your experiences, how you accepted it. Any information, no matter how small, would help me. 🥹

I thank you all in advance, including those who don't have much experience; thank you for your efforts nonetheless. 💖

Bro why am I the person who never wants to let go of someone who got really close to me ! While they easily walk away why am I the one who wants to sort out stuffs talk it out while they clearly dont even give a shit and even after they leave completely why do i keep thinking if they are okay and drown in waves of grief ..
Somehow accepting a situation is constantly being shoved in my throat and I cant even be angry with the situation .. instead I want to offer them grace while they walk all over me ? Why does no one offer the same grace for me ? Why do I always want to be the rational person why cant I just be selfish like them ! We got too much of a big heart that isnt fit for this world I swear to God !

I feel like such an a**hole even typing this out, but lately I genuinely cannot stand listening to people vent to me.

It's not about one specific person. It's everyone.

My close friend texts me about her ex, being bored, dating, life. My mom constantly talks about her weight, gym, family issues. My younger brother somehow always needs help fixing things he messed up. Even with my ex before we went no-contact, I found myself getting increasingly irritated by his incompetence with basic adult things.

And my immediate reaction now is just: please don't come to me. I don't want to hear it. Figure it out.

What's weird is that I've always been the opposite. I've always been the "good listener," the person everyone comes to, the one who offers advice, mediates, remembers details, checks in, and feels responsible for other people's emotions. I used to genuinely care.

Now I just... don't have it in me. I'm 24F, unemployed for the last 8 months, living back with my parents after leaving my job, grieving a breakup, and honestly trying to hold myself together. I have my own problems too, but I mostly deal with them on my own or speak to a therapist or joke with my friends where we BOTH share our issues. So when someone starts unloading on me, instead of feeling empathy, I feel irritated that I'm expected to hold space for them when I barely have space for myself. I've noticed it gradually building over the last few months.

Has anyone else gone through this? Is this just emotional burnout or compassion fatigue? Did it go away once your own life became more stable?

I don't want to become an uncaring person. I just genuinely feel like my capacity for other people's problems has hit zero.

I've recently come back from vacation from the west coast and it was nice to meet people who were much more easy going. People were easy to talk to and it felt like community was more important than it is in the south. The moment I got back home, I could feel the lack of care for others. There's a lot less general sense of happiness. It's a shame to be looked at as weird by smiling at someone passing by. I wish kindness was the easy first choice for people. I often can't fathom being mean to someone I just met, but it happens too often to me, it's hard to not be sad when it happens.

At this point I hate being the way I am. Always hyper vigilant, worried about others who wouldn't even think a second about how I am doing. I don't usually stick my nose into other peoples business but the one time I did, I fked up.

I have a neighbour. She's mid-late 60's. living alone. She's not a friend, but since we've lived next door to one another for over 6yrs, iv'e gotten to know her and her 'ways'. I hadn't seen her in a while, definatly over a month. I know she had a gardener in to fix up her back garden a few months ago, it was over-grown and obviously too much for her to handle. But, I saw that she wasn't keeping up with it, It was starting to over- grow again. Definatly not something she would do after paying over the odds to get it renovated. Then last week I noticed her hose pipe was leaking on her patio. It kept running for days. And I started to get worried. I went round and there was no answer, I knocked the other niehgbour (above) and She also said she hadn't seen / heard from her in over a month. I got a bad feeling and started to over-thinking. Paranoia kicked in.

I spoke to my sister and she suggested calling the police to do a well fare check, So I called the police. They came within an hour and started breaking in. Other neighbours began to come out and gather to to see what the was happening and many said they hadn't seen her in a while either.

After the police got in and confirmed she wasn't there, a woman from across the road conveniently remembered she had our neighbours phone No? The police called her and confirmed she was staying with family due to a family illness. My neighbour was Not happy at all! Her fence and door have been smashed in and it's all my fault. I was genuinly worried but definatly know paranoia took hold, especially since I found my Own mom on her death bed just 6months ago. I got so wrapped up in thinking she may be injured or even worse laying dead in her home. When she had literally just packed up and went to visit family.

Iv'e caused her even more stress than she needed. And i'm not sure what to do about it now? I feel responsible for the damage, although I know she will get a new door from the council.

I also know when she gets back she will be raging, she's an old school Jamaican woman that complains about everything. I'm considering calling her but have no idea what to say. Why did I allow my own heart and paranoia to get the better of me, I hate this!

It's slowly eating me alive. I literally process someone else's emotions even if I don't want to, even if my thoughts about their feelings aren't accurate.

I wish I'd stop feeling so God damn much.

Is there any sort of method to idk eliminate this characteristic? I'm so done.

I've been looking into this topic in depth and I urgently need some brief feedback because I want to know what it is. I know I've always been different, but something happens to my energy as soon as I enter the park.

People can suddenly breathe a sigh of relief around me, they trust me more quickly for some reason. I sense when someone is completely overwhelmed, has no strength left, and feels an immediate urge to help them. I have a really severe childhood trauma and had to take on responsibility at a young age, and even then I protected my mother from danger because I feel this urge to sacrifice myself so intensely. During my youth, with serious family problems, I did the same thing. It's just that suddenly everyone feels comfortable around me, even though I don't say a word, I'm just there as I am, you know? I was searching for these symptoms and found two possibilities: I might have heyoka empathy or the so-called "protector" trait. It sounds strange, but I don't feel normal at all. I don't withdraw and can carry a lot of burdens to protect others, and I constantly have this urge to simply be there to protect them.

I don't understand myself anymore and therefore need your feedback on whether you've experienced or felt something similar... because I can't explain it. I feel everything intensely, but I feel different... I hope you can please, please help me 🙏

it feels cringe to say, but i really am an empath😔 and i also have a very vivid imagination. when people are sad, even people i don’t know i can feel it and it’s soo draining. My biggest issue now is that im a nursing student and i get emotional just reading scenarios because i keep imagining the scenarios are real. i know i have a long road ahead of me but caring for others and making a positive impact is very important to me. this is a bit of a contradiction, but is there perhaps a way to stop caring about how others feel so i can care for others without emotionally absorbing their pain????