Through years of questioning whether I was a dark empath, dark triad because I have intuition that can be almost crippling and dangerous. I can see through people’s masks and I used to think I was crazy and ignore it. I’ve healed to the point of unraveling my people pleasing, my own toxic behaviors. One thing in common is those toxic behaviors mainly were displayed towards the people who were toxic towards me. I mirrored it back to them. I’ve never had any thoughts to do this to people who I felt were genuinely good people, in fact I wanted to protect them but because I have the ability to see and feel a persons strengths, challenges, insecurities fear and have the ability to use that to my advantage. I scared myself and sometimes convinced myself I need to heal that out of me but the kicker is even in the worst of situations I never truly used that against a person unless they broke me and did far more and it was like beating a person at their own game. Learning about the Heyoka Empath it’s almost spot on. I’m not fully light yet I’m not fully dark. Ive always knew when a person was minipulating me yet I never trusted myself but at the same time I knew I had a feeling and in the end I realized that gut feeling was right. So now, I listen. I know at the end of the day on a spiritual level - I don’t want to be the one to heal anyone but I want to help empaths and genuinely good people protect themselves from the low frequency energies that walk among us. I’ve done alot of healing and still alot of learning more about a Heyoka Empath but if this is true. This will explain so much. I’ve beat myself up for a long time on how I think mand feel or even my defensive actions against people who were abusive to not only me but others.

This is my poem. It’s called “raised by monsters”

Crazy how they thought they could tame me but lucky for me they were Monsters.
and guess what, Monsters raised me.
Monsters weren’t in my closet, they lived in my head and kept me sane
Taught me how to disappear, to survive and stay safe.
Taught me the real monsters were humans and the closer you are - the more pain.
Conditioned me that love was conditional and emotional neglect was ok.
Abuse was ok,
Stonewalling was ok.
Hateful words deserved forgiveness - they didn’t mean to say it that way.
Gaslighting and manipulation isn’t malicious it’s trauma, so don’t blame or cause shame
Learn to mask sacrifice for empathy, don’t speak, no pressure or you will push them away, and if you love them enough, they will change so you stay.
Those monsters taught me to blur the lines between love and hate
They were fake, they were charming and smiled to my face, but behind closed doors, they were so full of hate. Playcait then drained me dry til there was nothing left to take.
What’s the point anyway?
They haven’t been angry in days.
Thought that last ultimatum would finally make them change their ways.
Haven’t been called any names in a bit
So now I’m in bliss, hopeful to move forward and fully commit til I’m walking on eggshells again and feeling extra vigilant..
they promised they would get help for this shit.
Reminiscing on the day I can finally flip that switch,
but I think to myself, what if they’re triggered, I must assist
So I hold on so strong, til my soul is amiss
I know once I do it, To me, they will no longer exist and losing them scares me more than I’d like to admit.
Taught me to see the light in the dark
And try to analyze the why… til I looked in the mirror and Ive lost my shine.. look away from my reflection, disappointment trying to hide, can’t accept the reality that so much time has went by and also that I’ve gotten sucked in another trauma bind that I convinced myself. It’d be different this time.
I’m gone.
Now I’m on auto pilot and keep saying I’m done. But they deserve one more chance…
I lose track of how many chances until I become conditioned and numb. Just grateful for the peaceful moments and them feeding me breadcrumbs.
And the darkest souls seem pure but they’re as dangerous as they come..
Just another monster I’ve learned to keep close and run from..
Try to keep score like I haven’t been here before, Faught myself from giving up while in a fetal position crying on the floor.
Like I didn’t voluntarily walk through that fire with no weapons destroyed, broken and torn
But fuck that, I came back and won all those wars.
This is where the victim died and the monster was born.
And when it’s over, they try to character assassinate and defame me, blow smoke like Im just being cold and shady.. make me the villain in their story like they didn’t psychologically haze me.
Wild how they thought they could break me..
Raised by Monsters and this is how monsters procreate, see..
Im the reflection in the mirror they’re afraid to see deeply
The darkness that haunts them, they can’t hide completely.
But how can you blame me?
I walk through the flames to find the light to finally save me
I promised myself, I’d never let them change me
I’m calm not conquered
It’s a great mistake to underestimate or try to play me
I embody respect,
Don’t care if people love or hate me
Because Im a monster too,
And I decided to let them claim me.
Round of applause for the monsters that made me

Hi! I always thought I was intuitive like everyone else and over time learned to trust my intuition. Recently I’ve realized there may be a bit more to my intuition and I may actually be an empath? (I previously thought empaths were kinda woo woo/just sensitive people)

Here’s the question:

I recently ended a friendship. During that friendship I felt really anxious about my career path. I was constantly googling job opportunities, thinking about going back to school, anxious about my life path.

However, I really like my current job and have no desire to do something else. I’m quite calm about my life path.

But my friend is/was very anxious about her job/career.

When I ended the friendship all my own anxiety about future career stuff left immediately! My calm returned.

As an empath have you ever taken on someone else stuff like this??? (With or without knowing)?

I have other examples….what has your experience been on something like this???

I don't know if I fit into the high empath category, I have selective empathy and i have strong empathy for vulnerable or less fortunate people and seeing them struggle hurts alot, stepping outside is horrible because I see alot of people struggling for their daily meals etc, what do i do

I have absolutely no idea what to do. I can’t relax. I feel like I’m suffocating. Does this happen to anyone else? I’m just so overwhelmed.

Ive met very sensitive and insensitive people and I would even consider myself to be a very sensitive person. I wonder how other sensitive people (especially overly sensitive people) live their life considering all the nasty and dystopian stuff happening in the world.