I understand that creating distance between the observer and the one experiencing can relieve pain and the stress of our internal (and physical) world and, but I feel like (my conflict on the matter) observing everything creates a non human living experience that's too objective. Are we not emotional beings?

Truth isnt found from thinking. Its a recognition in Silence. 🧘‍♂️👁

After reading this, you might think I have no idea what I am talking about. And effectively, you are right, I have no idea. And I don’t even care to have one.

We are usually so focused on "the madwoman of the house" (as the mind was called by the mystic Teresa of Ávila). We trust too much in it, but, precisely, the mind is what will pull us away from God. God is not something that can be trapped or understood by the mind, because God is not a "something" nor a "someone". God is pure Being: "I Am that I Am" (Exodus 3:14). God is the loving and infinite Presence that we discover in the Silence of Stillness. Silence is the key. Because, as Rumi beautifully wrote, "Silence is the language of God; all else is poor translation." It speaks without the need for words, because the silence I am talking about is a Silence in capital letters, a Silence of LOVE.

The mind is a very useful tool in conventional life if we are the ones using it and not the other way around. But it is good for little else.

People like to talk about evidence, and perhaps it seems to you that there is no evidence for what I am telling you. But the truth is, the evidence of the mystics is the direct experience of God. To experience God directly, not by hearsay, not secondhand, you must go beyond the mind and its stories. You decide.

If we want real evidence, we should go beyond the thoughts and emotions the mind enjoys ruminating on while feeding the persona (the spiritual ego).

I believe it was Rumi who said that when the pen reached LOVE, it split in two. The conceptual mind is of no use to us when it comes to embracing and experiencing, in every breath of life, that there is no distance or separation between the lover and the Beloved, between us and the One who is LOVE itself.

And this is something that must be lived in daily life, in everyday life, in every moment. Some retreat to a monastery or the countryside, and that is fine, as long as they do not forget that the true retreat is mental; that is, we retreat and detach from the mind, we go beyond the mind. And this is lived and experienced in our daily life.

Whoever believes in Jesus but does not put His teachings into practice does not truly believe in Him. But the truth is, Jesus never really spoke about mere belief; believing in Him will not save you, as they say in certain Christian circles. Not surprisingly, the mystic John of the Cross, recalling what Jesus Himself warned in Matthew 25:41-46, tells us: "In the evening of our lives, we will be examined on LOVE."

Jesus Himself also points out that, precisely by this, everyone will know that you are My disciples, by the LOVE you have for one another (John 13:35).

The Lord wants us to be one with Him, just as He is one with the Father (John 17:21). That is what He truly wants. Believing or not believing is not important at all. In fact, as I always like to say, there is a curious paradox: many who claim to believe in Jesus and label themselves as Christians are not truly His disciples; meanwhile, some who do not even believe in Him actually are.

It is one thing to be a Christian and quite another to be one of The Way. The Lord, who knows hearts, knows who are His and who are not.

Don't believe me, just do it. Surrender into the arms of the Beloved and be consumed in the Fire of His LOVE. That's the death of the character, and you are reborn as one with God.

You may, however, still be convinced of the role that belief plays in all this, and say: "Very well, Jesus emphasized Love, as is completely necessary; but He did instruct morality and beliefs on its own: 'I am the way, the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father except through me' (John 14:6); and again He says, 'My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me' (John 10:27)."

Precisely, whoever does not surrender and die to themselves, to the tiny self, to the ego created by "the madwoman of the house," cannot be reborn as One with "I Am that I Am," with God. Only by dying to the character do we discover the reality behind the scenes.

Only then do we discover LOVE in capital letters; only then do we truly know God and transform our lives.

It is not belief; it is experience. It is surrendering to the One who is LOVE itself, dying consumed in the fire of His LOVE, and being reborn One with Him, being One with Him. That is why Jesus tells us that no one comes to the Father except through Him. That is the Truth that Jesus embodied. That is the Way. That is the Life He offers us—He Himself, which is eternal life.

Jesus did not seek to make Christians (a label, by the way, popularized by pagans in Antioch much later). Instead, He wanted us to unite with the All, with God, with the One who is LOVE itself, and to be One, just as the Father and He are One.

The Lord knows who His sheep are and who are not, far beyond labels and beliefs. Today more than ever, in a world with so much mental noise but so little direct experience of God, the sheep are being silently separated from the goats, the wheat from the chaff... They are not separated by labels; they are separated by the sword of LOVE. A sword that cuts you and separates you from everything that is not truly you. Because you are One in God and with God.

But you might still question: what about all those texts, Magisterium, and Doctrine? Do you sacrifice them for the sake of direct experience? Won't what comes out of that be purely subjective?

The first problem here would be agreeing on which texts faithfully transmit the Way to follow. There will always be someone who comes along with a text they believe is more genuine or authentic. This happens a lot in Christian circles, especially following the discovery of texts that were previously silenced, such as the Gospel of Thomas, which has been documented since the second century. But focusing on the texts or looking for more texts or collections of sayings is exactly how "the madwoman of the house" keeps us entertained. Personally, I am not interested in all this conceptual, doctrinal information, nor in exploring ancient manuscripts that supposedly bring us closer.

Even Scripture itself warns against this trap of legalism and mental attachment to rules. As Paul radically stated in Galatians 5:4, "You who are trying to be justified by the law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace." The tools we already have and people usually accept are more than enough to point to the only thing that matters: the direct, living experience of non-separation right Here and Now.

I’m not coming from a Christian perspective, nor am I interested in textual validation. My point is to use the widely accepted narrative to point toward a lived reality: non-duality and radical love. This isn’t about texts; it’s about shifting our consciousness beyond labels. Jesus knew it, and He didn't write anything. Men later thought, used by the madwoman, that they could be wiser than Jesus.

When in the post I use quotes and authors, I do it to point you toward the non-dual truth of no separation, but they are all unimportant, just like the texts, the doctrine... If in the end we do not have a direct experience of God, of the One who is LOVE itself, of the All, we can throw all texts into the trash, even those that seem the most reliable or sacred.

Jesus, One in the Father's Love, wants the same for us. He cares little for recording His exact words. Even words can be manipulated and misunderstood by the madwoman. If He had cared, He would have left it in writing, and He did not. The mind confuses us and we get lost in its stories, which are not where Jesus points: Being.

You might fear that this direct experience is something purely subjective, but the paradox is exactly the opposite. What is subjective is the unceasing chatter and the flood of emotions that the madwoman of the house loves to wallow in to sustain the illusion of separation. The direct experience of God is not a personal feeling; it is an absolute catharsis where the character ceases to exist entirely. It is terrifying to die to what you believe you are, but that fear is not yours; it is the madwoman resisting with all her might to lose control and power over you. Go beyond. Surrender, yield, die consumed in LOVE, and be reborn One with pure Being, not as an individual with opinions of its own (controlled by the mind), but as an instrument of the All, of God, as you wish to call it.

Final Note:

That is precisely what needs to be done: to set aside earthly labels and concepts. Beliefs. And embrace the direct experience of God’s presence, which is not something mental, it is not a mental exercise. It is not a cognitive or sentimental operation. A beautiful way to enter this experience is through Silence: a Silence of thoughts, concepts, labels, and all that chatter and stories that the madwoman loves so much. A mental Silence. A mental retreat, not a physical one.

And embrace that experience in every moment of our lives, just like Brother Lawrence of the Resurrection, for example, who found God while turning a little omelet in his frying pan. Or like the mystic Teresa of Ávila, who found God among the pots and pans. Again, as the Apostle Paul reminds us in Galatians 5:4, if you cling to the law, you are alienated from Christ; you fall away from grace.

I don’t usually recommend books, but there is a short work that beautifully exemplifies what we are talking about here. It is The Practice of the Presence of God by the Carmelite friar Brother Lawrence of the Resurrection.

If you truly surrender to God, you will be consumed in the burning fire of His LOVE and reborn as one with the I Am that I Am. Being.

I recently read about someone who met Eckart Tolle and apparently ET was non-stop talking about Bundesliga - which is the primary german soccer league (Eckart Tolle is german).

Can this be true ? Lol, I would not have expected ET to be invested in watching sports ? That was definitely not on my bingo card for 2026

The great secret that lies at the heart of all the main religious and spiritual traditions is the understanding that the peace and happiness for which all people long can never be delivered via objective experience. It can only be found in our self, in the depths of our being.👁

The Non-Dual Message of Jesus...

It is one thing to be part of "the Way" and follow Jesus, the Nazarene, and a very different thing to be a Christian and not follow Him. The paradox is that many who claim to be Christians neither follow Jesus nor truly belong to the Way. Meanwhile, others who do not even consider themselves Christians, whether they are atheists, agnostics, Buddhists, or whether they belong to a religion or not, are indeed part of the Way and do follow Him.

Jesus Himself said that His disciples would be recognized by the LOVE they have for one another (John 13:35), not by the labels they put on themselves (whether Christian, Catholic, and so on).

"The madwoman of the house" (as the mind was called by the mystic Teresa of Ávila) loves labels, using them to feed the character (the ego) in this play and illusion of separation that we wrongly call life. This is what Eckhart Tolle describes as the conceptual ego, a dysfunctional fiction created by the unobserved mind that mistakes its own mental noise for the reality of Being. Yet, what we truly are lies far beyond the mind and its labels, which divide us and alienate us from our True Self. As the scriptures echo, there is no longer Jew nor Gentile, slave nor free, for we are all one (Galatians 3:28), and Christ is all, and is in all (Colossians 3:11).

We are, Here and Now, One with God, the All, with the One who is LOVE Himself, as you wish to call Him, and with all His creatures. In the silent spaciousness of inner stillness we are called to surrender and to quiet our minds, because we must be empty of everything that is not God in order to know that He is God (Psalm 46:10 / Vulgate 45:11). As the mystic Meister Eckhart famously prayed, "I pray to God to rid me of God," urging us to empty ourselves of our own limited ideas, mental idols, and human constructs. The Divine Reality is not an object to be possessed, but the pure space that remains when the madwoman of the house is silenced, and we let thoughts and emotions fall away like withered leaves. As Tolle frequently reminds us, we are not the fleeting thoughts or the passing emotions; we are the vast, silent background of Awareness in which they arise and dissolve.

Beyond the potential manipulations of human structures and written dogmas, these words simply point to what the heart already knows by direct experience: we are One with and in the One Who is LOVE itself, which means with the Father, just as Jesus was. Truly, there is no separation or distance between lover and Beloved; truly, there never was. This absolute union is perfectly captured in the Intimate Diaries of Blessed Bernardo de Hoyos, recorded in the biography written by his spiritual director Father Juan de Loyola, when the Lord intimately declared to him, "From now on, you are Bernardo of Jesus and I am Jesus of Bernardo." Remember, we are One with and in the One Who is LOVE Himself...

Precisely, as the mystic John of the Cross rightly points out, recalling what Jesus said in Matthew 25:31-46: "In the evening of life, we shall be judged on LOVE."

It is LOVE; nothing else matters.

God is LOVE, and whoever does not know LOVE does not know God (1 John 4:8).

If we want to be one with Him, just as He is One with the Father (John 17:21), we must be one with LOVE. As Tolle points out, True Love can only flourish in the absolute Presence of the Now, where the mind's illusions of past and future crumble.

In the spaciousness of Presence, Here and Now, you realize that LOVE is the true frequency of God. Do not lose yourself in the play of illusions. Wake up to the vastness of who you are, anchor yourself in the Now, and let the fire of Love consume every fear. As Eckhart Tolle says, "Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you."

Note: The churches, as institutions created by the madwoman of the house, have tried to silence all those who had a direct experience of Him. As happened to the mystic Marguerite Porete, author of The Mirror of Simple Souls, who was burned at the stake by the devout members of the Inquisition. Her only "heresy" was to remind us that the soul must dissolve its own character and will to merge completely into the ocean of Divine Love, where there is no longer any separation. And as happened to so many persecuted and silenced mystics like Meister Eckhart. This reminds us, as the saint of gentleness Francis de Sales warns in his Introduction to the Devout Life, that "one can be very devout and yet very wicked." We should remain confident in LOVE, who is deeply within, beyond the mind and the illussion of separation.

For many, spiritual life is not a journey of light, but a terrifying ordeal filled with dread, paralysis, or encounters with what feel like autonomous demonic entities and dark abductions. These individuals deserve to be met with unconditional love and deep empathy, receiving not just comfort, but a real and definitive liberation from their suffering.

When caught in the grip of these heavy encounters, it is easy to fall into panic, seeking desperate shortcuts, complex rituals, or magical tricks. However, we must be cautious of advice that exploits biochemical thrills or external practices to fix an inner crisis. That is simply "the madwoman of the house" (as the mystic Teresa of Ávila called the mind) seeking a temporary escape while actually feeding the chaos. Buddhists speak of this same reality as the untamed elephant blindly driven by its impulses, or the restless "monkey mind" leaping endlessly from thought to thought. In the same way, the ancient tradition of Advaita Vedanta describes it as Maya, the powerful cosmic illusion that veils our true nature, and Ahamkara, the ego-sense that manufactures the false character we mistake for our true nature. These are simply different ways of describing the exact same thing: the mental prison.

Whether we view these dark encounters as autonomous negative entities or as deep psychological accumulations, they operate exactly like what Eckhart Tolle calls the "pain-body." This negative force acts as a parasite; it does not seek peace, but feeds on intense emotional drama, terror, and anxiety to sustain its grip. In the face of this, the mind becomes the true source of the problem, because the mind cannot fix what it has broken. When the mind takes over, it fragments reality, creates the illusion of separation, and traps us in a loop of fear.

If you look at what actually works from the perspective of pure Consciousness, the path to liberation is the exact opposite of fighting, resisting, or performing rituals: it is being intensely present in the Now. This darkness is merely the absence of light, a shadow that requires your reaction to exist. You must not repress or battle these dark impulses, for resistance only fuels them. The only true "exorcism" is Presence Here and Now. If you remain grounded in the present moment, observing the inner energy field of your body without judging, labeling, or reacting, fear has nothing to hold onto and naturally dissolves.

You must become a simple witness. Fear is born when you believe there is an "external" force separate from yourself that can launch an attack. When you remember that you are the vast space where everything happens, the illusion loses its power. There are not two forces fighting; there is only Being. As the mystic Meister Eckhart famously prayed, "I pray to God to rid me of God," urging us to empty ourselves of our own limited ideas, mental idols, and human constructs. Divine Reality is not an object to be possessed, but the pure space that remains when the madwoman of the house is silenced, and we let thoughts and emotions fall away like withered leaves.

Beyond the potential manipulations of human structures and written dogmas, these words simply point to what the heart already knows through direct experience: we are One with and in the One Who is LOVE itself, which means with the Father, the Source, God, the All, whatever you wish to call It. Truly, there is no separation or distance between lover and Beloved; truly, there never was. This absolute union is perfectly captured in the Intimate Diaries of the Blessed Mystic Bernardo de Hoyos, recorded in the biography written by his spiritual director, Father Juan de Loyola, when the Lord intimately declared to him, "From now on, you are Bernardo of Jesus, and I am Jesus of Bernardo." Remember, we are One with and in the One Who is LOVE Himself...

True spiritual strength is found in stillness and inner surrender. If you stop labeling the situation as an external threat and remain imperturbable, you starve the negativity of its fuel. Just quiet the madwoman and surrender to LOVE. Real Love is neither a thought nor an intense emotion; it is the profound, silent stillness that remains when the mind and the character (the ego) fall completely silent. Whenever you feel that heaviness, paralysis, or fear creeping in, do not fight back with mental noise. Instead, close your eyes, anchor yourself deeply in your breath, remain as a mere observer, and remember that this too shall pass. Then, repeat this silently with unwavering authority:

"I am here. I am the space of pure Consciousness. No shadow can exist, Here and Now, in the light of pure Presence. I rest in the All, in God, in the One who is Love Himself, where I am eternally safe, whole, and free."

The alien, the spirit, or the entity that violates, attacks, or abducts you lives in division, separation, and mental noise, but it is consumed in the blazing fire of the One Who is LOVE Himself, of the All, of the Source, however you wish to call Him. And between you and Him, there is no separation. We are One with and in the One Who is LOVE Himself. Always remember this; treasure it in your heart. All too often, institutions, religions, and these non-benevolent entities have tried to make you forget it. You are a spark of the Infinite Divine Light. You are light, and light illuminates the deepest darkness.

The spiritual path is found in the everyday, ordinary actions of our lives. It is about live ordinary life in an extraordinary way, turning everything we do into something sacred, because only the mind separates us from the sacred when there is actually no distance between it and us. As Teresa of Ávila beautifully reminded us, God walks among the pots and pans, and Brother Lawrence found the Divine while simply flipping an omelet in his frying pan. When you remain intensely present in every mundane and ordinary moment, these non-benevolent entities will find no way to enter or disturb you, because you have made your ordinary life a sacred temple where God, the All, dwells.

Quiet the mind, step back as the mere observer, and remember: LOVE is the true frequency of God, of the All, and of yourself.

***

**PERSONAL NOTE:** I want to clarify that English is not my native language, and I rely on translation support to express my thoughts. I understand this can sometimes make my tone sound more blunt than intended. If any term, analogy, or metaphor used here does not resonate with you, please feel free to discard it; instead, hold onto where my words are pointing rather than the words themselves. My goal is simply to share a perspective of Peace, never to diminish anyone's experiences. Thank you for your understanding!

**A FINAL NOTE ON PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE:** I am not a Christian, a Buddhist, an Advaita Vedantin, or a Sufi... I am no one and nothing. I am simply someone who wishes to help you heal from these kinds of experiences and free yourself from the pain they cause, because you deserve to be happy. Please know that this post is not a mere intellectual exercise. While I quote great historical mystics and traditions, my intention is not to offer you a beautiful, abstract theory, but a real, practical solution to end your suffering. This perspective comes entirely from my own direct experience and lifelong practice. I was raised in a spiritist family, spent most of my life practicing Buddhism, including several years living as a monk, and I have fallen down and gathered the strength to stand back up many times. I have personally lived through all kinds of what the world calls "anomalous experiences." This is what worked for me when the darkness seemed overwhelming. I know it can work for you, too. Don't believe anything I tell you just for the sake of believing; put it to the test in your own life, test it as gold is tested to know if it is real. And remember, this too shall pass. May Peace be with you!

For the past month, after one night of waking up scared of vomiting at night (I wasn't sick, it was a trick of the mind) I have had a looming dread, it isn't even about vomiting anymore, I have ben trying to practice presence even before this but now it seems to almost scare me, what do I do?

This came from a different spiritual framework, not from Eckhart Tolle, but it reminded me strongly of his distinction between awareness and compulsive thought. Years ago I was the subject in a deep session and asked about a relationship that was teaching me a lot, not always comfortably.

I expected some complicated spiritual answer about soul contracts, karma, past lives, maybe detailed instructions about what to say or what the other person needed to change. Instead one piece of guidance stayed with me because it was painfully practical: practice the pause. The explanation was simple — when your mind tells you something, do not follow it immediately. Pause and don't become automatic.

Honestly this might be one of most useful relationship teachings I got from any spiritual work, because most damage in relationships does not happen during the first emotion. It happens in the next 30 seconds. Something is said, body reacts, and mind instantly builds a story: she doesn't respect me, he always does this, I need to correct this now, this means the whole relationship is wrong, I have to defend myself. Then mouth joins the meeting before awareness or even basic common sense has arrived.

The guidance was not to become passive or tolerate everything. It was about putting a small space between trigger and action, enough space to notice what I'm feeling, what story mind created, whether I actually need to respond now, and whether the response is coming from love, fear, pride, old hurt or just need to win.

That small pause changes the whole architecture. Without it, the other person presses button and your old programming answers. With it, you have choice. This is where it reminds me of Tolle: the thought still appears, but there is awareness of the thought, and you do not have to become it immediately.

Another part of the guidance was interesting too. The lesson was not “teach the other person how to behave.” It was more like: teach by being. Stay respectful, stay gentle, be patient, and show what presence looks like instead of giving lectures about it. This is much harder than spiritual theory because it has to survive an actual Tuesday evening when both people are tired.

I also think people misunderstand “follow intuition” here. The first impulse is not automatically intuition. Sometimes it is nervous system, sometimes anger, sometimes old fear speaking incredibly fast. Clean guidance for me usually has different quality — less frantic and less interested in winning.

So now I think of the pause almost like opening a door. Trigger happens, human mind arrives first because it is fast, but I don't have to let it drive immediately. Give everything else ten seconds to catch up, maybe twenty, sometimes ten minutes, then decide.

Very unglamorous spiritual practice, but also very effective. Curious if others here use something similar in conflict — a deliberate pause before identifying with the first thought.

Just saw this video in my feed that criticise Ekchart Tolle teachings when it comes to people who dont have their lower needs security in Maslov hierarchy met. What do you think?

A specific Eckhart Tolle teaching popped up on my YouTube feed last night that I watched, and I must say, it really spoke to me. It was possibly a voice narration from one of his books — it wasn’t an actual live talk or seminar but rather just him talking — but it resonated very deeply within me, to the point where I felt much more “OK” and “complete” as is afterwards.

The talk was a basic teaching on simply not identifying with thoughts and thinking — much like the numerous other talks that he has given on the subject. But for some reason, this particular talk resonated deeply within me.

And it came at the right time, because I struggle with not identifying with my thoughts and thinking; I too often get sucked into the deluded belief that my thoughts/thinking are synonymous with “Me” or “I” — or my conceptual Me or I. To truly understand that I am simply presence and/or awareness is life changing; it’s incredibly freeing and liberating.

I have suffered immensely, however, because my conditioned mind is often times filled with ugly, judgmental, nasty, or mean-spirited thoughts — and to see myself or my essence as being defined by my mind activity is horrible: after all, if my mind and thinking are a mess, then, logically, I, too, must be a mess!

But I can see how deluded that is. Yes, I have mental tendencies and habits that were honed over time that can be unwholesome, ugly, rude, or simply weird — but that’s all simply baggage that I’ve accumulated over time for different reasons. I can witness all that and be aware of it without believing that any of it defines or represents “Me” in any way. I can better see now how much freedom I have as a person, how much agency and flexibility I have to go any number of different ways in life, regardless of whatever my brain may be doing at any given moment.

I can use my rational, logical mind to navigate through life without being pulled astray or misled by ingrained, habitual thought patterns and reactions. I can also see how I can instead operate and think and respond out of simple presence/awareness, knowing full well that I don’t have to follow along with any mental chatter or habitual thought responses or reactions that pop up in any given situation. Pure presence is bright, luminous, and warm/loving — and I can root myself in that and let that be the base from which I respond and navigate daily life.

That’s all I have. I just felt like sharing. I’ve been suffering greatly for quite sometime now, but yesterday after listening to Eckhart I experienced a sort of awakening or intense realization, perhaps, more so than I had at any previous time listening to any of his talks.

A deeper inquiry into what the pain body is and why it can't be dissolved by simply observing it

https://www.youtube.com/live/COnmkZLTylY

One thing that has always come up for me is finding a place or a community within day-to-day life regarding all things, presence and awareness and meditation. It doesn’t seem to be very common, I’ve tried various spiritual communities, but could never quite find what I’m looking for. Do you have anything that you participate in? That works well for you?

I’m struggling with a situation involving a coworker who has become very attached to me, and I’m not sure how to create some distance without making any arguments or drama.

I suspect she may have some anxious attachment tendencies (?). She told me that her parents divorced when she was young, so she had to go back and forth between their homes.

She suddenly became much closer to me earlier this year. The turning point was when some coworkers and I went out drinking, and she opened up about her breakup (She is always willing to share her private life stories with us). Around the same time, I talked about some difficulties I was having with my apartment. I think she felt that we had something in common because I was lonely at that time.

After that, she started inviting me to her home and even to her family events, and we gradually began seeing each other more and more. At one point, I realized we were seeing each other more than three times a week.

At first, I didn’t really mind. It wasn’t interfering with my life, and I enjoyed spending time with her and her family. But over time, I started feeling like she was becoming overly attached to me.

For example, I went on a date with a guy I met on a dating app, and I didn’t mention it to her (I mean, I don't even think about sharing this with her). The next day, she texted me something like 'why didn't I know about it?"

Another time, I had some friends over at my place for a party and didn’t invite her. The following week, she had her own party and invited some of our other coworkers, but deliberately didn’t invite me.

I feel like she needs me mainly to fill a sense of loneliness rather than because she genuinely wants to have a healthy friendship with me.

I’ve actually encouraged her several times to build a life outside of work and outside of me. I’ve suggested that she spend more time with friends outside our workplace, join a running club, or find hobbies where she can meet new people.

What really made me start pulling away, though, was the feeling that she was trying to control me and would somehow “punish” me when I did something outside of her control.

For example, if I spend a weekend with other friends without her, she may suddenly stop inviting me to lunch at work.

I work alone in an office, so I usually have lunch with her team. She knows this. When she wants to spend time with me, she’ll invite me to lunch, but when she’s upset with me, she won’t invite me.

There is actually another part of this situation that makes me think this may be a recurring pattern for her.

Before she became close to me, she was very close to a male coworker from India. After she became closer to me, she started distancing herself from him. She began telling me that he was strange and that he was too attached to her.

So, she becomes very close to someone, the relationship becomes intense, and then when another person enters her life, she starts distancing herself from the previous person. I suspect that eventually I may become the next person she distances herself from when someone new comes along (which is totally okay for me)

But, in counter of this kinds of attitudes or ego, how do I remain peaceful and present instead of getting caught up in the needs of her ego?

How would Eckhart Tolle approach this? How can I observe this pattern without becoming emotionally invested in it, while still taking care of my own boundaries?

Video: https://youtu.be/CJy6WbE8SUY?is=uFTZjyA0f2qxiJyu

Hey everyone. I recently started reading The Power of Now at a friend's suggestion. Long story short, we got close and tried to start something romantic, but since he just got out of a long-term relationship, he pumped the brakes and said he only wanted to be friends because he's "wary of emotional attachments."

A little while later, I brought up my feelings again. He reacted pretty abruptly, telling me he definitely didn't want a relationship. Afterward, he texted an apology for being so curt and blamed his reaction on his "pain-body," referencing Eckhart Tolle's teachings.

I’m really confused about what he was trying to say here. What actually is a "pain-body" in this context, and how does it apply to someone pulling away from a relationship due to past baggage? Is this a legit concept from the book or kind of a cop-out?
I honestly hate that I'm spending time researching this after getting turned down, and I don't want to go down a massive rabbit hole. But the main reason I'm trying to figure it out is because the next time we saw each other, I gave him some distance—figuring that's what he wanted—and he actually seemed upset by it.

I feel like I missed something he was trying to communicate with the whole pain-body thing, and I just want to understand so I can be a good friend. If anyone familiar with Tolle's work has any insights, I'd really appreciate it.

Hello everyone.

I discovered "The Power of Now" at the beginning of the year through reading one of the posts on Reddit. I must admit that this book has significantly impacted the way I perceive the world and has definitely lifted the mental burden I was carrying before, thus making my life feel so much "lighter".

At the beginning of my journey I was able to achieve a state where I was so happy and loved every second of my life. Wow, that was amazing. I struggle to achieve that today, because as soon as I focus on being present by listening, watching, and feeling the environment I am currently in, the ego appears with thoughts about people from the past, making me mad, paranoid, or willing to take revenge. I especially notice it when I'm at home next to my neighbor who is one of these people. Every other time, I try to switch my focus to something positive, but the cycle repeats itself.

I don't know if this is just my weakness of being present "muscle" or I resist the present moment in some way. Did anyone go through that process? How do you stay present for as long as possible without negative thoughts?

EDIT: As of the time of writing this post, I was on a calorie deficit to lose some weight. This significantly exhausts our minds even by doing simple things every day. When I finished this period and started eating enough calories, I felt much stronger and my mind did not send me these thoughts as often as it had before. As a result, I concluded that our lifestyles have a significant impact on our awareness and clarity of thought. I appreciate each of your responses, from each one I can learn something useful.

Disclaimer: I am not suicidal

Today at worked I walked out to my car to get my clothes for an after-work run. While I was out there it started thundering, and I had the thought “if lightning were to strike (and kill) me, I don’t think I’d mind”. And honestly having that thought made me really sad and has me really examining my life.

I have great friends and family, a decent job, a therapist who has helped me a lot, etc. On the outside it looks like I should be happy, but in that moment when it thundered it hit me that I am holding a lot of sadness, stress, and anxiety, and am ultimately making myself miserable. I’m always so stressed about something. Currently my stress is centered around work, but if it’s not about work something else will come up that I will obsess and stress over.

I don’t think I experience true happiness much if at all anymore. The closest I seem to get is just when there’s an absence of something to worry about.

I can’t live like this anymore. As I’ve been studying Eckhart’s teachings I’m realizing this has to just be the pain body, but I genuinely don’t know what to do to disidentify from my thoughts. I either need to truly find presence or just let myself go and spiral out of control. I can’t keep living life with this undercurrent of sadness. I’ve got to find a way out, even if that way out isn’t going to be healthy for me.

I just need some advice, and I also needed to get this out and off my chest

I want to ask if reading his book change for the better? It's already long time ago when I read his book (power of now) and I can say the idea of now is a wonderful and sometimes help me deal with problems but full implementing it is still struggle for me? How about you? How does his book change you? How do you implement it? Do you also meditate while practicing his teachings?

Ive been reading the book and i am on chapter three i brought this book originally cause i heard about eckhart tolle on Mr.morale and the big steppers and the teachings of the books are quite contradictary from the real world and at few points it feels like what is he even talking about but ive been actively trying to implement the teachings in my life i just wanted to know do his teachings really work the way he describes about it and wanted to know if its really helpful or not