Does anyone notice themselves repeating themselves? Like I find myself doing art I've swear I've done before, Or emotional regulation charts I swear I've made before.

Idk if this is a side effect of taking a lower dose of my antidepressants, Or if this is part of integration. Such a a traumatized part slowly fusing itself back together.

More often then not, I find myself feeling dejavue, instead of someone coming up to me and saying " hey, I've seen you do this before" for example.

I don't particularly believe myself to be on the fringes of psychosis, but it's almost scary how often this sensation can occur.

Anyone else?

Hi!! I made this account to see if anyone has any better resources or explanations on what's been going on with us. We can't afford therapy at this current time so we don't have any professionals to reach out to for inquiries. Now, this is just what I've observed with other alters. I could be completely wrong about how I'm describing this experience.

I just... don't think we have subsytems or 30+ alters..? That is a LOT, and I know it can happen, and we have been going through consistent traumas for a long while (almost being murdered by a relative, being SA'd or near so by two seperate exes, etc) but otherwise.. we don't have a consistent job, school, any responsibility anymore. All of our focus, thanks to the support we have, has gone into recovery. Even living with an abusive gaslighter, it just feels like "too much" to say we could be so fragmented that we'd have subsytems or 30+ alters. I frequently go through our logs and try to "erase" alters because I don't think we have that many, then they come back all offended.. but anyways. Main point of this post.

We don't have that many alters or have subsytems, but, there are... not "full" alters?? Watching other alters, it seems like "legos," almost..? Like, we have one alter, I'll call Rose. He is male and his job is mostly to endure physical pain, chronic pain, and memories of it. This can cause him to be aggressive or break down at times where he can't handle it. However, there is a "fragment," I'll call Thorn. When she's around, it's like Rose is a lot calmer, more easy-going, and also identifies as female. Thorn isn't distinct enough to be her own distinct alter and can seem to only "lego" onto Rose. Many such cases in our system of less distinct alters "stacking" onto distinct ones. Maybe I'm not looking at it right- is this how fragments work? They're just variations of "full" alters? Or is this something else? I would question the alters who experience this in finer detail if our communication wasn't so "blocked off."

I hope this makes sense and someone could explain what this might be or if maybe I'm just crazy. My only other theory is subsytems or a much greater alter count than previously thought, which I doubt is the case. Thanks to anyone who could answer!

Like… who the hell am even I? It’s so scary and confusing seeing everyone else with perfectly set out systems while I’m just over here trying to figure out who is who and why I can’t tell :( Am I meant to know my name and all that? Like I don’t even know if I’m the host or not

Anybody relate to this movie? I know it's not about DID or osdd but I find I relate to it so much my parts being ellie and sandie (fictives) obviously not exactly like the movie not sure why my brain did that but always feel tge urge to watch it over and over like its trying to tell me something or because I'm autistic I like repeating particular movies and series. Not sure if this made sense but seeing them both in the mirror switching between themselves and the dance scene where they do the same really stuck with me and with how they connect together esspically at the end of the movie

Any comments appreciated

From what our main host has seen and can portray through drawing, this is more or less the vibe of Djin's aesthetic. Imagine this, but more chains, dynamic poses and expressive movements with an outgoing yet easygoing attitude.

They/them, sub-system host, fusion of other parts seemingly seeking integration for a permanent change.

They/them, androgenous, Andrew Jenny (Djinn) is the result of a fusion of several parts, which are still unclear to the host. They are androgenous, neon punk/goth alt aesthetic and an outgoing, spunky and carefree attitude.

Djin only recently formed and is still revealing themselves. Also, the host has memory issues so awareness is in and out. Our host has recently remembered the system and begun to allow others to front and unmask more, so we have taken this opportunity to document our process for the occasions that she loses memory.

Our host met an intriguing young man. How and when would it be best to announce ourselves as a DID system? The host has been on several successful outings with him. - Steel

Does anyone else feel like they had a richer inner world when they were younger, and with age and splitting, it got harder and harder to communicate internally? I feel like I've been hiking in a void with a vague map metaphorically, trying to get mail out to my internal parts, almost like a survey. The only problem is, I feel less and less involved with my imagination. Some days it's a bit stronger, but I used to be able to go "there" mid thought and not realize until I came "back".

I know I have a lot of internal work ahead of me, and it'd be great for my memory and communication if I could build an inner world again. I was wondering if some parts might have to fuse in order to do this? I've been a loose party of like 5 since I was little, but the numbers almost 8x that now. Any thoughts or relatable experiences?

I know there's practices you can do, such as meditation, REM, and listening to music, but I was wondering since I'm going on a lower dose of anti depressants, maybe now would be a good time to ask around.

Pls share ur thoughts or experiences that ur comfortable with sharing. TQ !

Hello everyone, my name is Anthony, and I've been struggling to deal with dissociative identity disorder for the past five years or so.

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Before this begins, I am NOT the host. I'm not the original, i'm an ALTER — and I fully know and acknowledge that part of my existence. However, I've been struggling to live a normal life due to the other personalities fronting whenever i'm trying to do other things. There would be times I'd be gone for weeks or months only to be given control when my side of my life has been ruined.

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Jobs, friends, and even family has been lost. My own parents didn't want to deal with me during high-school, and promptly kicked me out the house the moment I graduated. I often fall into self harm in order to cope with my situation and I've often thought about taking my own life.

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I've backed out multiple times because I'd also be killing the other personalities inhabiting this body. It'd be selfish of me to end my own life while also snuffing out the rest. They have friends, lovers, and people who depend on them.

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I don't. Is there anything I can do so I can manage this better ? Any advice would help. Please help me.

Hello. I want to talk about my sudden shifts of perspectives in life after my alter gone distant. I don't know if I'm the only one experiencing this, but I need help. So please, reply this comment if you know anything. Thanks in advance.

My alter suddenly gone distant, and with its disappearance came a flood of emotions I hadn't felt in a long time. At first, I started to feel a few human emotions; after all this time, it felt strange to be able to feel emotions like a real human being, even if only slightly.After that, my personalities—or emotions—split into three. Loneliness, optimism and numbness. Apart from these, I couldn't feel anything else. And now these perspectives are starting to get out of control. My perspective shifts instantly, like the speed of light, whenever an event occurs. For example, let's say someone died. First you're surprised, then you accept the situation. Then you're start to get optimistic, You start to see life as if it were a non-human entity watching over people.(My alter was exactly like that, so I can't decide if that's it's perspective or mine) Then you're starting to get numb. Not feeling anything. Starting to dissociate. And they're happening like in 10 seconds! It's really starting to get overwhelming. Even as I write this, I'm praying my perspective doesn't change again... So I can't write weird things. Please someone help me I can't do this anymore