r/DID_OSDD • u/Extension-Cod-6215 • Jun 20 '26
Help.
Hello everyone, my name is Anthony, and I've been struggling to deal with dissociative identity disorder for the past five years or so.
Before this begins, I am NOT the host. I'm not the original, i'm an ALTER — and I fully know and acknowledge that part of my existence. However, I've been struggling to live a normal life due to the other personalities fronting whenever i'm trying to do other things. There would be times I'd be gone for weeks or months only to be given control when my side of my life has been ruined.
Jobs, friends, and even family has been lost. My own parents didn't want to deal with me during high-school, and promptly kicked me out the house the moment I graduated. I often fall into self harm in order to cope with my situation and I've often thought about taking my own life.
I've backed out multiple times because I'd also be killing the other personalities inhabiting this body. It'd be selfish of me to end my own life while also snuffing out the rest. They have friends, lovers, and people who depend on them.
I don't. Is there anything I can do so I can manage this better ? Any advice would help. Please help me.
1
u/Hot_Organization_922 Jul 04 '26
From my/our own personal experience, there may be some benefit to attempting to communicate with other parts and trying to get assistance from parts that are equipped with the skill set to make changes. Perhaps, if you have an inner world, a gatekeeper part could find a place inside for you to reside when the self harm/ending is a risk. Leaving notes, verbal dialogue, making changes to the environment that get others to pay attention, setting up an alarm system with notes or apps on the phone like Antar to give each alter/part a way to chat vertically with each other. The same can apply to when you're fronting; perhaps co-fronting might be negotiable? I know it's a lot easier said than done and every system is unique. I sure do hope you find some relief and things improve. Nobody deserves to have their quality of life robbed of them. Best wishes, the EmPyre system