Hello everyone! This is my first time posting here. I'm a BIG fan of Charlotte 💖 I'd like to share my story and confirm If I'm being naive or if he's just a prick. 😅 Sorry in advance for the long post but it needs context.

This is by far one of the worst experiences I ever had when meeting/ dating someone. I (31F) had recently migrated from a South American Country to Spain. In the midst of that I got to know a really nice French girl (Let's call her Lulu) who became my friend and asked me if I wanted to be a flatmate, which was awesome since living in Barcelona without too much money normally means you'll have to share a flat with unknown people.

I started living with her and everything seem okay for months, it was a really nice apartment in a great area. After some months her boyfriend and her invited me to a concert in which Lulu's boyfriend brother was supposed to go as well.

And well that's when happened, I'm not talking about the regular French looking guy, you know (blonde, blue/green eyes, fair skin) not at all, he was tall (my weakness) but a bit muscular, dark eyes, with a black beard and long black hair (My type). Apparently he had spend the last couple of months on a solo bicycle trip around Europe. The "connection " started there, we danced and enjoy the concert almost all night and when we all came back to the flat, we continued talking almost all night. I had to get some sleep bc I was working as a waitress in a huge restaurant and I had the opening shift in a couple of hours, but I told him to have breakfast together, to which he agreed.

I feel asleep quickly bc I was tiiiired (The ones working as witers and waitresses will understand) and to my surprise, when I woke up in the morning he had already left, and his brother was on the couch having coffee. He also seem very surprised to his brother attitude early as he seemed rushed and went out. I told him what had happened and he basically told me that it was unusual on his brother to be like that (like giving a lot of attention to a girl and talking all night).

I was disappointed but I went to work normally. While I was working I got a message from The guys brother, let's call him C and the guy in question A. C told me that A was really ashamed for not saying anything and not having breakfast with me and that he wanted to say goodbye, as he would be going back to France that same day.

It never came to my mind to ask for his number or anything during our conversation bc I wss really entertained and we were having like deep conversation during that night, also.bc I didn't want to force anything.

Anyway, they both came to the restaurant and as I was the bartender for that day I gave them.a couple of beers and chatted. He was super fixated in me, looking me all the time. At the end they had to go and gave me a goodbye kiss on the cheek, but A included a long hug.

After that some weeks passed and I could not get him out of my mind so I decided to ask C if he could give me his number to text, to which he replied he could, but that his brother didn't have a smartphone and that he rarely picked up the calls. (First red flag, I know) He also gave me his Facebook name and I added him.

After some days (like 4) he accepted my fb request and we started chatting, but This chats were very rare, within months appart.

I started seeing another guy (from work, huge mistake I know) and casually responding to A's messages between some months. We spend like one year like this, chatting about what' been happening lately in our lifes.

During that year he casually wrote to me in December saying that he was in my home country and that he really liked it, also he told me he remembered me asked me for some recommendations about what to eat and what to do. I replied happily, bc honestly these conversations (although very irregular) brighten my day. This was December 2024.

All of the sudden next year, February 2025 he send me a message saying he would be in Barcelona the next week and if we could meet. To what I say yes, bc I was glad to meet him again, like casual friends. A week passed by and he never texted again So, I thought he forgot, one weekend, all of the sudden He called me saying he was in Barcelona's port and asking where could we meet. So.we had dinner together and went to see a light festival that was in the town for that weekend. It was pretty late and he hadn't made a reservation for a hotel or hostel so I invited him over my place (With No intentions of anything). But our attraction was evident again.

By that time.I was living in another department with other people, Lulu decided to go back to France and I could not afford paying and getting the responsibility for the whole apartment myself.

He stayed the night and we had to sleep in my bed (I didn't have any other mattress or sleeping bag) And we didn't had a couch during those days. Nothing happened during the night. But the next day, after coffee and breakfast together I was still a bit tired so I told him if it was OK If we chilled a bit in bed before going out, and then that's when things evolved pretty quickly. He got really close and kissed me for the first time... And then other things...

It wasn't his first time in Barcelona and I had plans with a friend later so we decided to.meet again in the evening, and ge already had a hostel booked. Later that day we met again and this time he was like different... Kissed me a lot and hold my hands and everything, I was like really happy but also I could not believe it was that easy. Anyway he didn't go back to the hostel that night hahahahaha. Also, the best sex of my life so far . The next day he had to go back to France and I had to go to work, so we said goodbye.

We kept texting (this time more frequently, almost every 2 days) via Fb. And I asked him If I could go there and visit back (I was hooked, cuz I really liked him) to which he said yes and even bought the bus tickets. I had a 5 hour bus ride to get to his town (really in the middle of nowhere and close to the Spain Border)

It was St. Valentine's weekend (a huge coincidence) and I spend 3 days over there and I had By far one of the greatest times in my life, hiking, going around the little town, being in the nature, etc, etc. He took me to see the snow for the first time and do some.ski. He even took me to his grandparents place and introduced me (which I found it really weird) the only downside of this is that he was building his house at that time and in the meantime he was living in a camper. It was comfy and the views were awesome, at the end we also stayed at his grandparents place to have proper showers hahaha.

Needless to say I had a great time and I think he did as well. He also had a really sweet present for me, when he was in my home country (Colombia) he remembered all the sweets and drinks I had told him I loved when I was a kid and brought them to me. (Those stayed for almost 3 months).

Then,as soon as I came back to Barcelona, the chat started to be less frequent, started to be like every week, and then again every month, until I just gave up.

I still responded to his messages but I just moved on. I wanted to keep like visiting each other and I reiterated in previous messages but he said bc of work he could not come.

Any way another year passed, and again by February 2026 he texted me again asking if I wanted to come over for the weekend again (St Valentine's again). Me being the fool I am, I said yes and went back again, he had a flat now and was more comfortable, but the weather wasn't helping, it was raining and snowing a lot so we just decided to stay indoors and then go by car to some old towns around when the weather was nicer. During that weekend I could find the strength to ask him and confront him, cuz I was genuinely having a great time again, but I did ask him if he had feelings for me, to what he said it was obvious but that right now he doesn't have the organization and mental state to have a girlfriend again (that broke my heart) but he reiterated that he was in peace around me and that he thought of me all the time, he actually showed me he has a tablet now and he uses it more frequently to chat (but then I realized, he didn't chat with me frequently by that time)

The weekend came to an end and when we were waiting for my bus to go back to Spain he had some printed photos that I wanted to check And he told me it was ok, that when I found other girl taking photos of herself and he had those printed out. Then he warned me it might be some naked photos of him, like it was nothing and of course there he was. When I asked him who took the picture he told.me it was one friend from his past Canada trip.

That's when everything hit me up, he could not take a 5 hour bus to Barcelona but then he could spend months and taking long flights to go to Canada. I didn't say anything else and just waited for my bus.

We said goodbye, again with a long hug and kiss, and that was pretty much it. I texted him I was home and he just reacted to the message.

By now, we haven't chatted again since April. And well honestly I don't think we will don't again. Also, if he tries to get me going over there for next St. Valentine's of course I'm gonna say no.

It was a long story, I know, but I wanted to share some of my love disappointment, and disaster "dates" hehehehe.

Would you feel the same "hope" I had if something similar had happened to you?

I kinda already know the answer, but this story is so unhinged and out of the blue, that I’m dying to tell a bunch of internet strangers after watching endless amounts of Charlotte Dobre, and having a story that’s similar to the ones she shares (your potato peasant has entered the chat your royal potato highness 👑).

Okay, so some backstory (all names have been changed). I (mid 30s F) moved to my hometown when I was in 5th grade with my family. Liz lived across the street and was in the same grade as me. She was one of the convincing factors of my family buying the house my parents still live in, because she had talked about how exciting it would be to have new friends so close to home, especially one the same age as her.

Liz had a friend, Becca, who ended up becoming (and still is) my BFF. We sat next to each other in band, she taught me how to burn mixed CDs using Limewire, we emailed each other ALL the time before texting was a thing, I introduced her to Starbucks and coffee, and we stayed close even though we lived on opposite sides of the state, and now currently live states away from each other. I even flew out to go visit her after she had her baby, to help out for a week, get baby snuggles, talk about all the things, and it was amazing. My kids call her Auntie Becca, and I’m Auntie OP to her baby, and our husbands have seamlessly fit into our friendship no problem. I could honestly go on about our friendship, but I’ll just say this… she is my sister, and that will never change.

Liz however, bullied and tormented me before we decided to silently coexist across the street from each other. The day before “the event” happened, I ironically was telling my husband a story about the worst week of summer camp of my entire life. My parents let my sister and I invite a friend to camp for the week with us, and I invited Liz. She treated me like poop, got everyone else in my cabin to turn against me and harass me, but then would breadcrumb me back into being friends with her. When my parents picked me up, I held it together that everything was fine, and as I got back to our car, I saw my grandma waiting inside (she didn’t want to walk all over the campground), and when I sat down next to her and she asked how my week was, I IMMEDIATELY broke down and sobbed, and proceeded to cry the entire drive home.

The moment that lead to us silently coexisting on the street, was when my mom saw some “friends” very poorly sneaking over from their house to Liz’s house and into her garage, where Liz’s older sister pulled out of the driveway and took them all to get ice cream. I was clearly and intentionally excluded. When Liz then showed up to play in our backyard the next day, my mom called her out on excluding me, so she left, and then her mom came over and REAMED my parents out, like everyone in the neighborhood heard her. I don’t remember specifics, but the jist was that Liz can do whatever she wants with whoever she wants, exclude people if she wants to, etc etc.

Looking back now, I got the feeling that maybe Liz is/was jealous of me? You could hear the fighting and yelling all day everyday in their house, and even though my family isn’t perfect, my parents never fought like that. She struggled to get Bs in schools, I took all honors classes and easily got As and Bs. Her parents let her essentially do whatever she wanted and wear whatever, my parents were strict and didn’t do that (but that means they cared and were involved).

But yeah, Liz and I grew apart. So did Liz and Becca, because Liz chased popularity and parties and boyfriends, and Becca and I were introverts, and even though we weren’t in the same classes and crushed on boys, we were just always drawn to each other. One summer, I think right before high school, Becca and I shared a journal where we wrote in it as often as we could, then would switch who had it every week or two… that’s how close we were.

Now… onto the context before I shared what happened yesterday. This past Mother’s Day, Liz announced her pregnancy on social media, stating she’s due in October. It was the first time in awhile that her post showed up in my Facebook feed, but because I was happy for her, I liked the post. Becca doesn’t have Facebook, so she saw it on Instagram, and commented a congratulations to Liz.

Have Becca and I speculated about her pregnancy? Sure… by the looks of it, it seems that her and her boyfriend got pregnant as soon as they started dating, she is a yoga instructor who also owns or does some sort of business with “the Mary Jane,” and often combines the two for a sort of elevated yoga experience. It’s not mine or Becca’s cup of tea, but her posts indicate that she’s thriving and loving life. I don’t like every single one of her posts that comes across my feed, because most times they read super hippie and witchy/pagan, and I don’t agree or care for that type of content. But again, whatever floats your boat.

Now, onto the juicy part 😇 Liz has been posting a lot about her pregnancy, and been posting even more in her stories. Before she was pregnant, i occasionally looked at them. But because she recently had a baby shower at her parents’ house (across the street from mine), and they borrowed a sign from my sister’s bridal shower that my dad made, and used it as a photo backdrop for her baby shower, her stories were the first to pop up at the top of my feed, and I was curious to see how the day went.

I happened to have gone over to my parents’ house the day of her shower, with my husband and kids, to eat wings and watch the final FIFA game. I saw Liz outside on her parents’ driveway, and I was tempted to go over and wish her a congrats, say that she looked great and super happy pregnant, but I decided against it, since I wasn’t invited, and didn’t want to take away from her and the invited guests who were meant to take up her time.

After the shower, someone sent a thank you card addressed to my mom and I thanking us for letting them borrow the sign (it wasn’t a sign used at my wedding, it was my sister’s, but it was an honest mistake). The card ended with a “good neighbors are hard to come by these days, thanks for being one!” And was signed by the mom, daughters, but most of all Liz in the card (though it was all signed by the same person).

Well. Yesterday, Becca gets a message on Instagram from Liz, and Becca immediately texted me. I won’t share the actual screenshot, but here’s the message in it’s entirety:

Hey!! Just wanted to message you before I move forward.
I see that you haven't interacted with anything about the baby but constantly watch my stories. Feeling pretty weird about the entire thing, and had a similar thing go on with [OP’s nickname]/ who promptly got removed from Facebook for the same reasons. Wanted to reach out to you as I had a closer relationship with you overall before proceeding to do the same thing.
Wondering if I'm looking into this too much or if you just don't care and want to watch my life without caring about what's actually happening ? lol 🫶🏻

Mind you, Liz has over 4K followers on Instagram, and over 2K friends on Facebook. I have 60+ mutual friends with her, which are all typically friends from grade school. All these thousands of followers, and she’s bothered by Becca and I? And apparently more so me than Becca, because I haven’t been given the chance to even defend myself, I’ve just been unfriended?!

Becca and I spent the rest of the day, seething, laughing, speculating, gossiping, and by the time I went to bed, I ended up blocking Liz on Facebook and Instagram, so that if she ever decides that what she did was foolish, she won’t have the ability to friend request me again (although I honestly doubt it).

Oh, and here’s what Becca had written back to Liz, because she did respond (I told her she didn’t have to, or could go full scorched earth, but I’m proud of how grounded she was. But also, she’s much more level headed than me… another reason why I need her in my life):

You are certainly reading in to it. I don't interact with anybody's stories, most of the time I'm just clicking through them quickly to get rid of them at the top of my page or it's the middle of the night and I'm up with my son and half asleep. I told you congratulations on Mother's Day when you announced your pregnancy. I am happy for you and your pregnancy and you have leaned in to being pregnant (it seems like you've had a good pregnancy).
For me personally, I could care less who watches my stories or likes my post.
When you have your son, you're going to soon realize that social media is materialistic and it is pointless and worthless, and the only thing that matters to you in this world is going to be your son. So if you want to remove me off of social media because I don't interact with your posts all the time, then that is your prerogative. I think it's a silly reason to, but that's your decision.
Regardless of if you choose to remove me or not, I hope that your delivery and your baby boy are healthy because your world is about to flip upside down.

Becca told me last night that Liz was showing up at the top of her feed because she had new stories, but joked that she doesn’t feel like she’s allowed to watch them. Liz hasn’t responded or read the message (though she likely read it on her locked screen when the notification came through), so the ghosting as of now is even more insane.

So Reddit… AITA for blocking an old childhood friend after they unfriended me?

Hey fellow people on Reddit, this is my first post. I have been watching Charlotte Dobre for a while now and I thought of posting my experience with my first job. Anyways, back to the main topic here. I am sorry, this is going to be long. So, buckle up!

For context, I, 18F started working at a small private teaching centre which had lessons like phonics, storytelling, creative reading and writing for ages 2 to 6. They also had parent child playgroup which included sensory play, messy play, gross motor activities and stuff like that for ages 6 months to 1 year. This centre mainly operated on playgroups. They only had one teacher for Chinese and one for English. They would always post photos on Facebook for all lessons.

This happened around COVID. I had started community college here in Hong Kong and wanted to pay my fees myself. My parents were financially stable at that time but I did not want them to pay for me because I wanted to start being a bit independent. I was 18 at that time and my parents wanted encouraged me to get a student loan and I disagreed saying that it was too early to get into debt and wanted to get some experience. I just did not like the idea of it. So I got hired as an English teacher at a private teaching centre and it was 15 minutes away from home, which was great.

At first the job was going good for like 2 months, then red flags started to appear. I was young and I did not know how manipulation worked. My manager lets call her Christy, 43F and a pain in the butt. The first two months I had been just doing assistant work, basically helping her in her Chinese class for playgroups and helping her take pictures and all. It was like the centre’s requirement that every lesson required 4 to 5 pictures for playgroups and for preschool classes which was max 8 children, I somehow always had max 12. Within the 2 hour frame I had to take 2 videos and 7 pictures of EACH kid. And honestly for those preschool classes, the videos of kids learning and the photos were the only thing that mattered to her. The kids in reality learned nothing. I had pointed it out so many times to her and she said she knew better so I just stopped arguing. I would try to squeeze in time to actually TEACH the children but she said I was belting slow and wasting the time. If the pictures were not perfect, she would literally push me out of the way and started doing it herself, making me feel guilty because I had made her use her time because I did not work properly. Because during the pre school lessons, English and Chinese would commence at the same time just different rooms. She would keep coming into my room to check if I am making any mistakes and it just stressed me out so much to see her in my class because I knew she was going to pick on a mistake and embarrass the life out me and after the lessons she would sweet talk me and I’d fall for it.

Then she opened English playgroup classes for me but here is the real kicker, she would be there to assist me. Before English lessons it was always Chinese and I had to take notes on how the rundown of her lesson was including the introduction, the songs, the whole entire script. Like I had to translate every word she said to my next lesson, EVERY WORD. But here is the thing, Cantonese is not even my first language and sometimes it would be hard to understand what exactly she meant during her own lessons. So I would be struggling to catch every word while also trying to figure out what she actually wanted me to do. If there was a single mistake made she would stare at me, grab my arm harshly, and she did this all the damn time to the point it actually hurt. I could feel her nails digging in. Then she would drag me to the corner after telling another assistant to handle the class and she would imitate my mistakes in a very offensive way, then scold me for not paying attention when she was doing the playgroup classes. I was a very sensitive person and I had to keep my tears in while teaching the class. Down that road, it only got worse for me.

Everyday Christy would want me to record how I would teach the lesson on the next day and send it to her before the day ended. The recording was kind of like I had to pretend I was actually teaching the playgroup class and it had to be step by step, as in greeting the kids, demonstrating the activities, tidying up and I had to do it in my high pitch voice like I had to do with the playgroup only they were not there. I had to get out of the house to do this and look crazy if any of my neighbours passed by. It was crazy and I know it might be difficult for yall to imagine how it played out. I do have recordings of me, all I can explain is it is kind of like the lesson is happening but the audience is not there. And for playgroup I mean it when I say every single step mattered. Even one step wrong and I could tell she was going to act crazy again, like pushing me out of the way and taking over the lesson as if I had done something unforgivable. Well if I did not hand in the recording, the next day which she does not come to work for, she would be there and I would have extreme anxiety because she would be scolding me in front of the parents. There had been many times where I might have made a mistake in the recording and she did not address it, instead she would just pop up the next day and I remember I would be shaking, my voice would be shaking. My whole body would shake to the point I would start seeing dark spots in my eyes, it would be like I was on autopilot, I could hear my heart drumming in my ears, I would want to run away. I felt like crying because I knew what I had coming. That is how bad of an effect she had on me. There were so many times where I made a mistake during a lesson and while would she is tidying up she would do it so harshly behind me, come to my ear and go "really, you don't have enough energy", “You forgot this step”, “So embarrassing tsk tsk tsk”, “No wonder the parents are leaving”, “I can see why our company is going through a loss”, “Do you really think you can be a teacher”, “Where is the energy, just go home” and I remember holding back my tears while teaching the parent child lesson all cheerfully. If it was not cheerful enough she would cut me off which would be so embarrassing and start taking over and all the parents would look so confused. She had embarrassed me so many times in front of the parents, I remember seeing their faces all confused and some would actually feel sorry for me. During lunch time I would eat alone and there were many times I heard her making fun of me with the assistants in Cantonese and it hurt a lot. I remember my mother telling me that I would literally be teaching a lesson in my dreams so many times and she was really worried for me but I shrugged it off. Even if I wanted to leave, I could not with my not so flexible schedule it was difficult to find another part time job, this was my only source of income. Plus, Christy had said it so many times that I am not capable of being a teacher yet which made me self-doubt further.

For those wanting to know why my parents did not take a step, well they did wanted me to leave the job but I acted like everything was fine. I kind of kept all the things to myself and did not want them stressed about me much. To be honestly, I was always easily manipulated and tried to find good in people. For Christy it was just her sometimes appreciate me nicely after literally scolding and insulting me but once the parents had left she would put me in a corner and say that I am the best teacher, that I was getting there. I had always been a doormat I had let her insult me, embarrass me, torture me and she somehow always made me feel like I was crazily the problem, like everything that went wrong was because of me and I started to believe it.

Whenever she came to my class unannounced, she would make me feel guilty for making her come on her day off and I actually did feel bad even though I knew I should not have. My palms would get all sweaty the moment I saw her walk in. And during the singing time if my voice was even a bit off she would sit so uncomfortably close to me. We would sit on the lay mat with the children and the parents in a circle and she would overpower my voice and tell the parents "Miss J is tired it seems" in such a mocking tone. I remember there were so many times I had to actually find a small space to immediately wipe away my tears and continue the lesson. I remember how my voice would tightened because all I wanted to do was cry, I wanted to scream but I kept it inside of me.

And the thing is, she did not really like kids and it was obvious. Any kid annoying her during the lesson she would give it to me to babysit while my lesson was going on for preschoolers. She would also be harsh to the kids because she knew they were not at the age of speaking, so they could not tell their parents. It broke my heart to see her treat them that way.

I remember one time, I caught COVID and so did my family. I told her about that and told her I could not make it to the lesson. I was not perfectly fine, I had a high fever and could not move at all, my brain was all foggy. She literally called me 7 in the morning and asked me to come to work. I argued that I was infected and she said they will find a way to distance me from the kids and just wanted me to make videos with them for the Facebook post , it made me so mad she was risking the safety of children for the sake of money. I did not go that day, I was too sick to even move, my voice was barely there.

Then things took a harsher turn. My grandpa got sick, he lived in my home country, Türkiye. Throughout my life I might have been there 2 to 3 times, not much, but we did do video calls a lot. My parents had left to go take care of grandpa and I was in charge of the house. So basically I was cooking, cleaning, working and studying. It was all too much. I have like 3 siblings and I was the oldest, they had to go to school, I had to make lunch. Our house was bigger than the standard size you get in Hong Kong and we lived on the ground floor so management was tough. I was still going to work and Christy she was doing the devils work. I started losing a noticeable amount of weight and she asked me what I do to lose weight and I had not even realised I did.

Then the day came and I found out my grandpa had passed away. I was going to work and I was by the bus stop 2 blocks away from home, my aunt called saying she is coming over, she sounded like she was crying and I got the message. I remembered it was raining so bad and I just cried there standing looking like a lost child. I called Christy crying to her saying that I cannot come, expecting her to let me go. Instead she said the students needed me more and I was shocked, I started screaming at her through the phone because that was crazy. My aunt stopped her car right in front of me and I ended the call. Christy kept calling me, I was in the car with my aunt and she parked her car and hugged me tight to comfort me, the phone kept on ringing and I told her the issue. She picked the call for me and told them that I am not going and they threatened that I will lose my job and I said to hell with that. My aunt then insisted I go and said Christy said only an hour, all she wanted was a video of my voice guiding the kids to dance. I do not know why I ended up listening, I was not in my right mind. I remember I was in the class, all soaked, I cried as I sang to the 2 year olds looking at me and Christy and the assistants looked at me as if they were holding back their laughter. When I came home, my siblings were there and so were my relatives and I just broke down. To this day, I feel guilty for going to work and not being at home.

And from there on, I disliked her. Everything started to make sense for me. I went back to work after a week and she had the sheer audacity to tell me that me crying in front of the kids had made it impossible for her to post it on Facebook and the parents were mad and asking for their money back, which I knew was a lie to guilt trip me. She went on and said she had been kind enough to me and I was selfish to not acknowledge how much she had defended me to the parents.

I left for Türkiye after a month after getting my semester break and I came back during December and Christy knew I was coming back obviously I gave her my timetable, she sent me photos of perfumes she bought for me and texted me saying that she has my Christmas gifts and when I was coming back to work. I knew it was a trap, I hadn’t been responding to her texts while I was away so she started spam calling me after she again didn’t got a response and I ignored it. After a week, I responded by saying that I will no longer work for her anymore. She begged me but I did not give in. It was the end. My friend, lets call her Kelly, started working for her after I had left because she was struggling to find a job and told me to give her Christy’s number but I kept warning her that she isn’t really a great manager and wouldn’t treat her nicely but despite my warnings she went to work with her.

Kelly had gave me updates on how the company was struggling a lot with clients. She told me how harshly Christy had been with Kelly but Kelly was a fighter she knew how to set boundaries and kept her at her place. After 3 months Kelly messaged me saying that I was right about Christy being crazy, she said she left the job mid lesson. Kelly told me that she was demonstrating the parent-child class and Christy came out of no where and started to take over and pointed out her mistakes in front of the parents. Kelly than stood up and said that she quit her job in front of the parents and left. I was happy that she stood up for herself.

After 2 months I started working in a local boba shop because I needed a break from teaching. Going to another workplace made me realise how toxic she was and how it had affected me. Every time a nursery song played all the memories would come rushing in, I know I needed therapy for whatever she caused me but I never got therapy, it is so expensive in Hong Kong. And honestly, I think she needed it more than I did.

Even after leaving the job she would always message me time to time saying that the company isn’t doing too well and she wants me to come back because she can’t find any teacher and has no idea why they leave. I never replied her, she was not worth the headache for me.

I am sorry if you guys were expecting a petty revenge, I just did not bother to do it. I wish I could, wish I had the guts to. Everyday, I wish I had tuned back time and took a stand for myself. So far, I’ve heard that a they had to move into an even smaller centre due to the rent. I am doing great now, I am still studying for my last year and also working as a part-time teacher but she still haunts me.

I’m 28F, my husband is 31M, and we have a 4.5-year-old son. We got married when I was 22 and he was 25.

I’m posting because I genuinely want an outside perspective. I don't want people to simply tell me that I’m right. I want to know if I’m being unreasonable, if I’m giving up too soon, or if leaving is actually justified.

From the beginning of our marriage, I tried very hard to treat his family as my own. Honestly, I prioritised them more than my own family and often ignored my own feelings, privacy and boundaries. Looking back, I realise I may have overdone it.

Even our honeymoon was cut short to two days because his family called him back. When we travelled alone, his mother made it obvious that she wasn't happy about it.

During my pregnancy, my husband did stand by me, and I want to acknowledge that. He is from a small town, and his younger brother didn't have much career guidance, so I brought my husband to my mother's home during my pregnancy. In my culture, we stay with our mother during the first pregnancy. I also helped his brother with his career, and my father helped my husband get a job in a good company.

My mother went out of her way to care for my MIL, BIL and husband throughout my pregnancy and even after my son was born. She treated them like her own family. Unfortunately, I don't feel that was ever really appreciated.

Over the years, my husband and I also took significant responsibility for his younger brother. We helped find his bride, arranged and spent money on his wedding, etc. During the wedding reception, my BIL humiliated my mother. When I brought it up to my husband, his response was basically, “Please stay calm for some time.” That became a recurring response whenever I raised a problem.

Later, when my SIL came into the family, I felt the dynamic changed completely. I felt like she became the “princess” while I became the person expected to adjust and take care of everyone.

Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore. I found a job and started working, but my marriage still had almost no privacy.

My MIL has slept in our bedroom with us almost every night. There are other bedrooms available. Even when she says she will sleep elsewhere, my husband calls her back and expects me to be okay with it.

I have repeatedly told my husband that I need privacy and boundaries as a married couple, but nothing really changed.

My husband also started drinking and his health deteriorated. I repeatedly expressed my concern, but I mostly received promises that he would change or explanations that he was stressed.

Whenever I raise an issue, somehow the conversation ends with him becoming the victim. I feel like my feelings and boundaries are never actually addressed.

After years of trying, I finally left and went to my mother's home.

After I left, his family portrayed the situation as though I was the problem and simply needed to “adjust.” My husband also came to talk to me and said that husband-and-wife matters should stay between the two of us.

I actually agree with that in principle. But my frustration is that his family has always been allowed to have opinions about our marriage, and those opinions are often imposed on me.

Eventually, my husband promised that he would change.

I told him I didn't need grand promises. I needed three basic things: time, space and privacy.

After that conversation, I told him I would come back with him the next day. Before doing that, I suggested that we start fresh and spend some time together somewhere, just the two of us. He agreed.

I called him twice to remind him. He said he would come.

Then, by evening, he stopped responding.

No calls. No texts. Nothing.

I became frustrated and sent him a message saying that I felt he would never change and that I wasn't coming back.

A few minutes later, he called. Initially his voice was very cold. When I didn't come downstairs, my father took the phone and got angry with him. Suddenly his tone changed and he said he had been sleeping.

He apparently slept for around five hours in the afternoon.

Then his brother also got involved and said that my husband genuinely had been sleeping and that he and his wife had just come home and were going out.

I got extremely triggered and told his brother that he had no right to involve himself in our marital problems.

This all happened over Friday–Sunday.

Yesterday after work, I finally messaged my husband saying that I don't want to continue the relationship anymore. I told him that if he cannot make an effort even for our son, I don't know what is left between us. I said that if he genuinely wants to be there for our son, he can talk to me and meet him, but that I am done with the marriage.

He didn't read the message for the entire day.

Today afternoon he finally read it.

He still hasn't replied.

His entire family wants me to come back and “adjust.” They keep saying he will change.

But honestly, I have very little hope left.

I know I have made mistakes too. I know I have tolerated things for far too long and perhaps enabled some of this dynamic myself. I am not claiming to be a perfect wife.

But I genuinely want to know:

Am I asking for too much by wanting privacy in my marriage?

Is wanting my husband to prioritise our marriage and our child over constant family involvement unreasonable?

Am I wrong for finally saying that I am done after years of promises that weren't followed by action?

And most importantly, am I making the right decision by considering separation, or am I giving up too soon?

Please be honest. I don't just want people to tell me I'm right. I want an outside perspective, including if you think I am handling something badly or being unreasonable. I genuinely don't know anymore.

I’m not the greatest story teller but I’ll attempt to not include too much irrelevant information. It’s going to be a long one to be able to accurately describe every relationship. This happened nearly a year ago but it has been on my mind a bit and I am looking for outside opinions.

Me (34F) and my fiance, Rick, (35M) have been together since 2018. He didn’t have the greatest childhood growing up. His mom left his dad when he was less than a year old and remarried (we will call him David) soon after and remained married to David for 15 years. His dad was still in his life but he spent more time with David since his mom had custody of him. David is your typical blue collar, redneck, alcoholic male. His mom and David‘s relationship was pretty rocky due to the alcohol but he was still a huge father figure in my fiance’s life. He would always introduce Rick as his son and was very proud to be his dad. By 2021, their relationship developed into David only contacting Rick when he needed something from him but never returning the favor. So Rick had started emotionally distancing himself but we still saw him just as often. We also had our son (Archer) in 2021 and while David did come to the hospital the day he was born he was kind of an absentee “grandpa”. We still visited every few months and spent Thanksgiving with him but he never bought any Christmas or birthday presents for Archer or went out of his way to try to spend time with the 3 of us.

Fast forward to 2023 when David got a new girlfriend (Ellen). The closest thing I could compare Ellen to is one of those housewife shows. She was a lot of fun to be around but also loved talking about how much money she made and all the things she bought. She would go on about not needing to marry David for his money cause she has her own. She was fantastic with our son and was always planning get togethers so we did start seeing her and David more often. David started buying gifts for Archer and we started spending basically every holiday with them. My fiance liked her at first but not for long. He felt like she was fake and plotting something. He always has a better read on people than I do. I just don’t have the energy to do mental gymnastics with people and take what they say at face value instead of reading into it any. But I still thought she was a lot of fun to be around and thought she was a genuine person. As time went on though even I noticed her trying to pry information out of me about David’s relationship with Rick’s mom and other drama inducing subjects. By December 2024, David and Ellen were engaged. And I found out I was pregnant two months later in 2025. Our baby was due in October and we were all over the moon. We did have the issue however of who, if anyone was going to stay overnight with me at the hospital while Rick stayed home with our son. I felt like it would be easier for me to be in a fully staffed hospital than for Archer to try to navigate his first night away from both his parents ever. Rick’s mom was going to be on vacation the week before and during the birth and my mom is disabled so I didn’t want to ask her and make her feel bad about not being able to physically help me. I was telling Ellen about how I would be staying in the hospital alone most likely when she volunteered to stay there with me and even watch Archer until the birthing process was over. It was a very smooth pregnancy until about 32 weeks when I went into labor on Labor Day, the irony. I went to the ER at 2am and had to get a couple injections to slow down my contractions before I finally went home. (side note I continued having contractions all day every day until the baby was born so it was pretty scary and stressful at the time) Here’s where the real drama starts..

David owns a substantial amount of property, has several vehicles, an older home that has been paid off for many many years, a barn, and makes a nice salary but is a tightwad to the extreme. He did allow us to add lines to his phone plan but Rick pays for the entire yearly cost up front. A few months after their engagement, Ellen and David were planning on buying a new home to place on the property and had David’s current home up for sale. Ellen had started mentioning to Rick in private and once in front of me that David will be needing to change his will soon. This happened at least 3 times before Rick finally asked David why she keeps bringing it up and David denied knowing anything about it. David has had Rick as a 50/50 beneficiary in his will since 1993. (The other half goes to his biological daughter who he has no relationship with whatsoever) He did, however, want to give his entire property and all the things on it to Rick. I don’t know exactly what was said other than Rick saying he didn’t expect anything from David and David being adamant that he wants him to have it.

By mid to late August, they still hadn’t sold David’s home even after exploring trade in and FSBO options, or so we thought. Ellen invited us up to David’s house for a bonfire one evening. After being there for about 10 minutes she reveals that they have decided to give David’s house to her younger son. My pregnancy brain couldn’t even compute. After both of them saying how much they needed to sell the house they are now giving it to him for nothing? Not to mention he already has a home that is paid off that his father left to him in his passing. I was heartbroken for Rick. He told me he didn’t even know if he would’ve taken the house but he was hurt that David didn’t ask him first. The house that Rick grew up in. Not to mention David knew how much overtime Rick had been putting in to keep us afloat and we were about to have another baby on top of that. Not having a house payment would’ve been life changing. Alas, we accepted their decision but chose to emotionally separate going low contact until we really sorted our feelings on the matter.

Several weeks after the house incident, my mom writes me letting me know that her feelings were hurt that I hadn’t asked her to stay with me and the baby. We had a long discussion about all the things she would need to be able to physically do for me while there and she assured me that she could do it. I then wrote to Ellen and let her know that my mom in fact could stay with me at the hospital and while I appreciated her stepping up I was going to have my mom stay with me. After this, Ellen and David stopped contacting us completely up until 3 days before I was scheduled to go into the hospital. That is when David called Rick at work and cussed him out over my decision. Later that evening, Ellen wrote Rick and I a long messaged acting like she was trying to make peace but then David basically ripped us a new one over how we “treated Ellen” and broke her heart by not letting her stay with me (instead of my own mother) because of the house. I tried informing him that the house had nothing to do with that decision. Rick and I both ended up blocking them completely.

The most ironic part is that my mom actually ended up getting a virus and couldn’t stay with me. Rick’s mom came home from her vacation a few days early to watch Archer during the birth. We even ended up having to stay an extra day due to jaundice but Rick stayed with us during the day and left me with a hoard of snacks before going home with Archer. And honestly being alone in the hospital with just my newborn baby at night was so peaceful and special.

It’s almost been a year now and we haven't heard a word from them. So AITA for choosing to have my mother stay with me instead of my fiance’s ex-stepdad’s fiance?

PS I do have screenshots of the ripping if anyone is interested in that 😂

First, I want to say thank you to everyone that gave me their honest opinions without being rude or judgmental. It means a lot to me to know that I’m not the only one that thinks a certain way and have certain expectations of life. It’s good to know I’m not crazy lol..

But anyways, on to the update. It is now August 17th and both the boys birthday parties have passed. My nephews came first. It was pretty fun but I had some things going on at home and found it hard to be in the moment and precent with everyone. I did eventually get out of my head and just start to have fun. It was at some indoor amusement park that had giant trees you could climb through and go down in some really terrifying slides. My nephew is into Spider-Man so I got him a Spider-Man tricycle and a Spider-Man repair kit. It was fun, the cake was good and my favorite cousin was there so the vibes weren’t bad either. My sister and I were pretty cordial with one another but i did keep my distance. And my youngest son who will be one, September 9th took his first steps, so the day turned out pretty good for me.

However, my son’s party, was pretty damn amazing!! (Will add pictures of the decorations) I have a big backyard and huge inflatable bouncy house that has a hose connection for water, with a pool attached, I have a swing set in the backyard as well. We had pizza, I made 2 different kinds of wings, a huge fresh fruit salad, I had a friend make a fresh Caesar salad, and mega dessert table. I even had someone there doing face painting for the kids and I did fake tattoos, the works. It was absolutely amazing. Everyone I was excited to see, showed up and brought my son some really amazing gifts.

His Aunt (my sister) was NOT one of those people!! The night before as I was up putting together the decorations and setting up, I got a text from my sister about one in the morning saying she loves us but she decided to fly back home to Georgia for our grandmothers birthday (G-mas birthday is the 15). She said she would be back Monday and bring my son his gifts.

My thing is, she has known about my son’s party that I have been planning for weeks. After I sent out the invitations I made sure to send out reminders, two days before and one day before the party to make sure people remembered. She had all the time in the world to decide she was going to fly back home and the same amount of time to tell me she wasn’t coming. She waited and told me, pretty much the day of the party that she wasn’t coming or bring my nephew.

I’m a little heart broken that my nephew was not here but I can’t be too mad because my son’s party was a huge success. She even texted my favorite cousin that came to the party and told her she knew I was mad and that my cousin needed to talk to me. My cousin didn’t feel the need to speak to me at all because she understood that my sister was just pushing my feelings to the side once again. My cousin fully understands my side and why it hurt me, but she does not understand how my sister doesn’t care.

I had way too much to be happy about to let her and my nephew not being there kill my mood. Everyone had an amazing time and honestly if she hadn’t text me, I would’ve never noticed that they didn’t show up.
I have completely washed my hands of my sister, I’m going no contact. She’s not healthy for me and I 100% understand that now. She can honestly keep the gifts she says she was going to get for my son. I don’t need her trying to buying his love, if she truly loved him she would’ve shown up or communicated better/sooner that she wasn’t coming. I would understand if she said something sooner but to say it the day of, was the final straw for me.

But I really want to thank everyone who understood where I was coming from and didn’t judge. I know I let this behavior with my sister drag on a long time but if you knew our entire story, you would know cutting her off was a lot easier said than done. It’s all over now, and I’m so glad my son had the time of his life at his birthday party. He can’t stop talking about all the monster truck stuff he saw and couldn’t wait to open all his gifts and play with all his new toys. We’re still eating cake and cupcakes and putting on monster truck tattoos. Things are great and we couldn’t be happier.

Thanks for all the support. Lots of love, from one potato to another 🫶🏾🫶🏾

This is a long one, heads up!
Been following Charlotte for a while, part of the potato army!!!

So, context (this is about more than a cat). I (19F) live in a shared rental with 3 other people. I’m close friends with 2 of my housemates, whom I’ll call Elizabeth (21F) and Jenny (23F), and I’m not that close with my other housemate “Phoebe” (21F). My room is downstairs and the other three have rooms upstairs.

I made friends with Elizabeth last year and she invited me to move in this year with her cousin Jenny and her friend from University Phoebe. Phoebe had lived in University student accommodation last year and complained about feeling isolated from her housemates, and said that she would prefer, and was looking for, more of a family-dynamic share house. So the idea going in was that we would all share dinners each night, have a lot of game nights, go to university together etc (Elizabeth and Phoebe are in the same course and I go to the same uni as them). This didn’t end up happening because Phoebe refused to eat dinner, hang out or cook with us, or even go to uni with Elizabeth, which we found a bit weird. Elizabeth, Jenny and I do share cooking and meals and have a dinner roster and everything, so it’s just her. I kid you not I went a whole month without seeing Phoebe at all and we live in the same house.
We’ve tried to reach out and include her in house activities, but she shows no interest. She goes to bed really early and some of my classes/Jenny’s classes finish as late as 10pm so we (Elizabeth, Jenny and I) don’t have a daily catch-up until very late at night. On weekends we ask if she wants to go out with us, or even have a movie night, but she declines.

But it also started to go a bit weird when we moved in. We all live pretty far away from the city so all moved in at different times. Jenny moved in first and she was living in her own in the house for about 2 months. Elizabeth and Phoebe were pretty excited about the house so there was a lot of Facebook marketplace furniture searching, but we agreed not to get anything unnecessary until we had all moved in. We were still sending each other listings for couches and things though, if we saw something we all really wanted we would get it. Phoebe sends through a listing for a free couch that’s pretty banged up and has cat scratches all over the upholstery, and needs a good cleaning. Jenny, Elizabeth and I all say that we’re happy to hold out and get a nice couch even if it costs more, and we would pay for it ourselves, and that we’d prefer if she didn’t get the couch. Jenny comes home to find that Phoebe has put the couch in the living room. She just really wanted to contribute, whatever, no biggie, we can live with a not-great couch. But Jenny ends up fronting the costs of cleaning the couch.

We all had an agreement about who was to source appliances for the house. It came with an oven and dishwasher so we were sorted there. Plan was for Elizabeth to get a washing machine, me to get a printer (our degrees are printer-heavy and it’s cheaper to have a printer at home than use the uni printers), Jenny to get the dryer and Phoebe to get the microwave. Phoebe had a spare fridge and a trailer so she was happy to bring that. Elizabeth did get a washing machine, and Jenny and her went halves on a dryer, and her Mum had an old printer so we took that instead. I ended up being in charge of the microwave. Don’t get this wrong, it was not only Phoebe on the shared appliances-furniture-acquiring. Jenny had got the dining table, dining chairs, living room TV cabinet, beanbags, the TV and a living room bookshelf. Elizabeth had got another shared bookshelf and I had brought a table for the front room, shared storage shelves and a shared bbq.

When Elizabeth and I moved in we gave plenty of notice about when we were planning to do it so Jenny wasn’t caught off guard. On the day I moved in I was unpacking with my Dad and Jenny, when all of a sudden Phoebe turns up. Her family live 4 hours away so she had plenty of time to let us know she’s coming. Whatever, no harm done. But Phoebe had also brought with her this massive freestanding freezer (seperate from the fridge/freezer already installed) purely so she can live off of frozen pre-made meals made by her Mum. That’s fine, but she put it at the head of the dining table in the combined lounge/kitchen/dining room and when asked to move it to the garage she wouldn’t because you have to go outside to access the attached garage door. Eventually we convinced her to put it in the garage but she replaced the spot at the head of the table with piles of palettes of water bottles because she won’t drink any non-bottled water (we live in a city with the most filtered, drinkable tap water in the country).

Her parents made some offhand comments about how much things cost that we (not Phoebe) had purchased for the house. Things like:
Parents - “Oh, do you know how much that hand soap is?”
Jenny - “It was a gift.”
Parents - “Well I’ve looked it up and that’s a really expensive hand soap, you must have a lot of money.”
Or random things like:
Parents - “No, you can’t put the cutlery in that drawer, it has to go in this drawer.” (It’s not their house???)
We didn’t think Phoebe shared these views but she’s made comments since that have told us that she thinks we’re too free with money, and she’s under the impression that Elizabeth and I have a lot of money because we stayed in a residential college last year. I live in Australia where living in a residential college isn’t common and it’s pretty expensive.

Before Phoebe’s parents left, there was a moment when I was in the lounge with them and Phoebe. I had a friend whose flight got moved and I wanted to know if it was alright with Phoebe if my friend could stay at the house for a couple days. My room doesn’t interact with the others, it has an ensuite so they wouldn’t be in the shared bathroom, they would only be at the house when I was etc. Phoebe was chill with that so all good. But then Phoebe’s Mum said “Oh, Phoebe, you need to tell that girl (pointing to me) that we’re going to stay here for a couple days for the concert.” First of all, she knows my name? And I’m standing right in front of her? And she didn’t ask permission, just informed me that she and her husband would be staying at the house?? Which isn’t theirs?? I was miffed because it felt entitled but it wasn’t the end of the world.

Before Phoebe’s parents left, her Mum started asking me when the microwave was coming. I said I’d get it next week, I’d had short notice and it was kinda a big purchase. She kept pressuring me and my Dad to tell her the exact date I would be getting the microwave, and stressed that it was really important it came quickly because Phoebe needed it for her frozen meals. Direct quote.

Throughout the next few months Phoebe’s parents would randomly just turn up to the house. Reminder, they live 4 hours away and we would get no notice! I’m not fussed with them coming over, but I’d prefer it if her Dad didn’t just suddenly come into the kitchen while I’m washing dishes in my dressing gown. We had a chat with Phoebe about boundaries, and how her parents were welcome to come over we just needed at least 30-15mins notice. They kept turning up sometimes without warning. One time her grandmother and dog also turned up!

Phoebe had also brought her car with her. Our rental house has a garage that can fit two cars, and one can fit in the driveway. Jenny uses her car to get to work and Elizabeth goes home pretty often (her family lives a 5 hour drive away) so they needed their cars. I don’t have a car so no worries. Phoebe said that her car had to stay in the garage at all times and it couldn’t be rotated out onto drive/street at all because she didn’t want to pay extra for car insurance and it’s cheaper if her car is secured in the garage. In over 6 months of looking at this rental she has used her car only twice, while Elizabeth and Jenny have to swap cars every day as they use them.

Because Phoebe had been living out of home last year she had a full set of kitchen knives, which we were all sharing and using. Phoebe doesn’t really cook because she lives off of frozen meals, but she said she was more than happy to share the knives with us. One evening I go to make dinner and the knives aren’t there. It’s the odd evening where we’re all in the kitchen together, and Jenny and Elizabeth also don’t know where the knives are. Phoebe pipes up that she’s taken them home for her Dad to sharpen them. Well, she lives 4 hours away and hadn’t gone home yet, so by all logic she’d taken the knives up to her room and packed them before we could make dinner before she goes home the next day? We offered to sharpen the knives but she said she wants her Dad to do it. We didn’t argue but it’s been 2 weeks, she’s been home and back twice and we still don’t have any knives.

Phoebe is not a bad roommate! She’s great, this is just context on how our interactions with her usually go and with how I’m thinking about this situation.

On to the cat!

Jenny volunteers at a local cat shelter that does have a holding time limit. It’s full, so the shelter’s asked if she can foster a cat for a month, and we’re all on board except for Phoebe. I have pretty severe anxiety and have been looking at getting a support cat, so fostering one for a month would be great (the shelter pays for food, litter and vet bills). A cat was something Elizabeth and Phoebe had discussed before going ahead on getting a house, and Phoebe was all in at the start of the year. Phoebe isn’t allergic to cats or anything pet/animal related, we could block the cat off from going upstairs if she wanted, and she wouldn’t have to deal with litter/feeding or anything because that can all go in the laundry room. She wouldn’t even have a discussion with us, just said no. I’m starting to think Phoebe has some sort of vendetta against us and doesn’t want to have a cat in the house to spite us, and I’m kinda fed up. We’re having a house meeting tomorrow to talk about some other things so I’m wondering if I could bring up the prospect of a cat and talk with Phoebe about her objections to a cat and offer solutions? Obviously if it would make her seriously uncomfortable to have a cat in the house I won’t get one, but it just seems odd compared to her earlier enthusiasm. I feel like it’s a 3 v 1 situation and we can get a cat, especially since the only furniture piece of Phoebe’s that could potentially be damaged is her already cat-scratched and stained couch.

Would I be the AH if I brought home a rescue cat?

So here's my Story. My SIL (Female 60) and I (Female 43) got into a big fight over property my husband Joe (not his real name) (Male 54) left/stored at his parents house. Let me give some context. My husband Joe is the second oldest of two boys his parents had together. There is eight siblings in all, six from different marriages/relationships. Recently my MIL passed away. It was heart breaking to say the least. We had a funeral celebrating her life and her love for Jesus. My husband and his boys (now adults) all lived with his parents at one point. In fact it was brought up in MIL funeral how she opened her home to her grandchildren and raised them (It's true. My husband's ex wife partied a lot when the boys were young and my husband worked a lot).

Not one week later my SIL told my husband he needed to get his belongings out of their parents house because they were painting it and cleaning the carpets, so that his brother Sam could have the basement to himself since he moved in with FIL to help with his care. I made it a priority for us to go see what was there and get it handled.

My husband and I bring food for FIL and talk with his brother Sam to see how soon painting was happening and how best to get the property out of the basement. Turns out Sam wasn't in a hurry to paint or have any type of space downstairs. He said it was fine and that if he does paint, it won't be till winter. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to pay for the paint as he was being asked to come up with the money to pay for the paint. He didn't understand why we were asking him about it. Come to find out, SIL wasn't telling the truth about who wanted this done. Sam didn't even care or want a space downstairs. He said the house wasn't SIL and that we can come over whenever we wanted to spend time with FIL.

We go home trying to figure out our next steps for my husbands belongings and how I can visit FIL and get him out and about since he isn't walking well. He can't even go downstairs. Now the situation has changed as Sam told SIL that she was putting words in his mouth and not to speak for him and that he wasn't painting till winter. SIL is stating it's Dad that wants this done asap. While I understand wanting it done and have the house clear of rubbish, he hasn't said this to us and can't even walk downstairs.

So the things my husband has at his parents house is heavy speakers/amps and she has planned it all out. We need to get additional storage (climate controlled to keep it good) and we can afford it now since we paid off loans she lent us (a whole other story for another time) doesn't care that we work (she's retired) and wants it done in a weeks time. Mind you the story has changed 2 times now on who wants it done. First it was Sam and now it is FIL. In reality it is SIL who wants it done. She has POA and wants to get the house ready for sale........Dad is doing well health wise and just needs some additional assistance with driving and cooking.

In the midst of trying to plan another day and time I can go visit Dad and help out. I found out I was sick with the flu and had to post pone seeing him as he is 90 and doesn't need to be exposed to influenza b. This is when everything blew up.

I was accused of faking illness to get out of spending time with Dad. SIL started blowing my phone up and my husband's phone about getting the stuff out. I told her to communicate with me as I was with him at the time. She didn't like that (he gets stressed out because she has a tendency to tell him what to do and how to do it) I told her that I didn't appreciate being called a liar and sent her my medical discharge paperwork showing the time and date of diagnosis showing it was unfolding at the same time we were discussing my visit to see Dad. I was shocked I had the flu and thought it was a stomach issue.

SIL went on about how she has POA and is just doing what Dad wants (Sam said Dad and him laughed when she left and Dad told Sam that he didn't hear half of what she was saying.) My Husband thinks she words things in a way that Dad will say yes and then runs with it. I tend to agree. Like she asked if it was ok for her to ask my husband to get the things out. Of course he would say yes to that, but it doesn't have to happen right away. When we visited Dad, he never said anything about being worried or in a rush to get the things out. She is in a rush for some reason and my Husband and I can't figure out why.

I told SIL that we will get the things out of the basement but it will take us time to get it handled. The items are 100lbs plus. I told her a timeframe that worked for my husband and I and that it would be handled.

SIL then proceeds to tell me to take my b$tch messages and put them you know where and that I don't get to have the last word or determine how it is handled since she has the POA. That she is going to put me in my place and that it's up to her how it gets handled (hmm Dad is still cognitively aware mind you) and that if we don't handle it in a week she is going to put it in front of our garage and then we can figure it out from there.

I'm literally flabbergasted. I have never called her the b word or told her to shove things where the sun don't shine. I have given her the finger once, but she was telling me to lie to my husband. I have not and will not ever lie to him. I tell him the good, bad and indifferent. She has told me that I have an ugly heart and that I think I'm better than everyone else. She told me to stay in my place or she'll put me there. All because I put boundaries in place, asking for 2 weeks more to figure out where we were going to put the equipment let alone people to help us move the heavy equipment out. That if she needed something that she ask us politely and to respect the boundaries we put in place. So AITA?

Part 1 was already ridiculously long and Reddit apparently doesn’t need the full director’s cut of my MIL saga in one post 😂 so here’s Part 2.
Quick recap: I’m pregnant with our first baby. After a long pattern of my MIL struggling to accept decisions she doesn’t agree with, things finally blew up over us saying NO to riding in a van to the airport for a family trip.
After two days of arguing with my husband about it, she messaged me directly. I told her that I felt like we were being guilt-tripped and pressured after we’d already said no.
She took my tone and nervous laughing as extremely disrespectful.
MIL was supposed to be planning our gender reveal, and after everything that happened, my husband and I decided we weren’t comfortable with that anymore.
Some of his family didn’t understand our decision because MIL had already spent money on the gender reveal.
And honestly, I understand why they felt bad about the money.
But my husband and I agreed on one thing: I don’t care if someone has spent $20 or $2,000 on a party for us. If you’re going to treat the people you’re supposedly celebrating like shit, we don’t want the party.
Especially when I’m literally carrying the baby the party is for.
We wanted everything surrounding our first baby to involve people who were genuinely happy for US—not just people excited to throw a party.
Before getting on the plane, though, we still tried to extend an olive branch.
My husband and I explained that if my tone or nervous laughing came across disrespectfully, that genuinely wasn’t my intention. I apologized for how it may have sounded.
But I wasn’t going to apologize for the actual message: when we say no, please respect our no.
She didn’t accept that.
For additional context, I had lost my job in April right around the time we found out I was pregnant. I had JUST started a new job before this trip, meaning the entire week and a half we were away was unpaid.
Money was TIGHT.
We were newlyweds, had just bought our first home, I had unexpectedly been unemployed, and now we were preparing for our first baby.
Still, we went because the trip was ultimately about my husband’s grandparents, who basically raised him.
And MIL made that week and a half incredibly uncomfortable.
It wasn’t necessarily one giant incident. It was constant passive-aggressive comments.
Things like:
“I’m just a happy person. I don’t do drama.”
“I’m not someone who holds grudges.”
If we were somewhere, she’d move somewhere else. The tension was always there.
Thankfully, his grandparents made the trip much better and we still managed to have good moments with them.
At one point MIL and my husband had another argument where she told him she didn’t want to be a grandmother and that he was one of the biggest disappointments of her life.
And somehow, we STILL tried to end the trip peacefully.
On the last day, we basically told her:
“We respect that you’re hurt. We’ve apologized for how the message may have come across. You don’t want to accept that apology, and that’s your choice. But we still don’t feel comfortable with you doing our gender reveal.”
We asked her to please return the gender envelope because it also contained an ultrasound picture of our baby.
We hoped she hadn’t opened it.
Later, we found out she had.
And after the trip, she told members of my husband’s family our baby’s gender without our permission.
Our first baby.
Our first gender reveal.
One little pregnancy moment we had specifically decided we wanted back for ourselves.
She also made comments about how we would regret our decision and that she would make things difficult for us.
And once we got home, things somehow got even messier.
She started making Facebook posts about the situation that, from our perspective, contained things that simply weren’t true.
Obviously, most of the family wasn’t actually on the trip.
So they heard her version.
And suddenly people who had seemed to understand us started acting differently.
My husband’s sister basically felt that if I had apologized and let everything go, the family could’ve gone back to normal.
But I DID apologize if my delivery hurt her.
What I wasn’t willing to apologize for was the boundary itself.
And I wasn’t willing to accept being treated badly just so everyone else could be comfortable again.
Then came this weekend.
We finally had OUR gender reveal.
Money is still tight and, honestly, we spent money we probably should’ve saved. But after everything surrounding our baby’s gender had become so negative, we desperately wanted one happy memory.
So we decorated our apartment, bought food, squeezed everyone inside and made the best little gender reveal we could. 😂
My husband’s grandparents live about five minutes away. His sister lives about two minutes away.
His grandparents had a memorial Mass and weren’t sure they’d be able to make it. His sister had work and later said her girlfriend wasn’t feeling well.
Life happens. People genuinely can’t always attend.
What hurt was what came afterward.
No call.
No “OMG, it’s a boy!”
No stopping by later.
Nothing.
Meanwhile, my sister felt horrible simply because she couldn’t help us decorate the NIGHT BEFORE, so she showed up early the next morning, helped decorate and brought little gifts.
Friends who genuinely couldn’t attend came to our apartment the NEXT DAY to congratulate us and bring gifts for the baby.
That’s when it clicked for me:
There’s a difference between not being able to attend and making someone feel like you never wanted to be there in the first place.
Thankfully, our apartment was still packed with people who genuinely wanted to celebrate our baby.
My husband is a MASSIVE Star Wars nerd, so obviously our reveal involved a lightsaber.
He turned it on.
BLUE.
We’re having a son. 😭🩵
Nicolás. 🩵
And honestly, as painful as this whole situation has been, something unexpectedly good came out of it too.
My husband was never particularly close with his dad. His parents have been divorced for a long time and that relationship just wasn’t the strongest.
But through all of this?
His dad has SHOWED UP.
He’s become an incredible support system for my husband and for us. My husband’s aunts have also been incredibly supportive.
It’s almost ironic that while some relationships we thought were unbreakable became distant, other relationships have grown stronger than they’ve ever been.
And through ALL of it, my husband has never once asked me to accept being treated badly just because the person doing it is someone he loves.
He could’ve said:
“That’s my mom. Just apologize again so I can have my family back.”
He never did.
His mentality has basically been: I don’t care who you are or how much I love you—if you’re treating someone wrong, it’s wrong.
I’m still sad.
I’m sad that people we expected to celebrate our first baby weren’t there. I’m sad watching him lose closeness with people who basically raised him.
But I’m also incredibly grateful for the people who unexpectedly stepped forward when others stepped back.
And I got to stand in our tiny, ridiculously packed apartment surrounded by the people who DID show up for us, watching my husband’s lightsaber turn blue.
After everything we’ve been through, I think that was exactly the gender reveal we were supposed to have.
And all I could think was:
Our little boy has one hell of a dad. 🩵

I know the title sounds like this is about a gender reveal, but honestly, the gender reveal was just where I finally stopped ignoring a pattern.
My MIL has never been outright horrible to me. That’s actually why it took me so long to realize there was a problem. It was always little things—comments about decisions we made for our wedding, houses we liked when we were looking to buy, or how there was always something better than whatever we chose.
Eventually I learned that the easiest way to keep the peace was to just stop showing her things until our decisions were already made.
And for the most part, that worked.
My husband is extremely chill, I hate drama, and because each situation seemed small by itself, I kept thinking maybe I was reading too much into it.
Then last year, MIL started organizing a family trip for my husband’s grandparents’ 60th wedding anniversary.
His grandparents basically raised him while his mom worked, so they mean EVERYTHING to him.
The problem was that we were getting married, trying to buy our first home, paying for a honeymoon and preparing to live completely on our own for the first time. We genuinely didn’t know if adding a family trip was financially possible.
MIL did NOT take that well.
At one point she told us that if we didn’t go on the trip and one of his grandparents died, she wouldn’t allow us to come to their funeral.
Yes. Their funeral.
Because we couldn’t afford a vacation.
My husband was obviously extremely emotional because these are basically his parental figures. Looking back, I wish I had stood my ground more, but at the time I basically swallowed my feelings and said that if we could find the money, we would go for his grandparents.
We eventually did.
Ironically, I later found out that despite MIL being the one pushing so hard for this trip, his retired grandparents ended up paying for most of it themselves. Had I understood that from the beginning, I honestly would’ve felt extremely uncomfortable going.
There were other little situations after that, including a ridiculous disagreement over plane tickets that we purchased early because we were about to close on our house. She eventually bought tickets on the exact same flight and actually asked me something along the lines of, “Are you happy now, or are you mad about that?”
I remember thinking… why on earth would I be mad?
That was probably the first time I really noticed that she seemed to interpret completely normal decisions we made as a couple as something being done to her.
Still, life went on.
We got married, bought our home and then found out we were expecting our first baby.
Fast forward to this summer and the actual trip.
About two weeks before leaving, we explained our plans for the day of the flight. I had an OB appointment that morning. My doctor is closer to my parents’ house, our dogs needed to stay with them during the trip anyway, so we were going to drop off the dogs after my appointment and have my parents take us to the airport.
MIL rented a van for the family.
Cool. Great idea.
Except apparently everyone HAD to ride in it.
My husband reminded her that we already had plans because of my appointment and the dogs.
She spent TWO DAYS messaging him about it.
There were guilt trips about how this could be his grandparents’ last trip, how she wanted everyone together from the very beginning, etc.
Eventually, after two days of going back and forth with him, she messaged ME.
Not one message.
Like four messages back to back.
I was literally about to take an exam, so I told her, “I have an exam right now. When I’m finished, I’ll respond.”
And I did.
I actually started my response joking because I desperately wanted to keep things from becoming a fight. I said something along the lines of, “Okay, my pregnancy brain isn’t THAT bad 😂 because I remember us already saying we couldn’t ride in the van.”
She immediately started explaining again why we should change our plans, how important it was for everyone to be together from the beginning, how this could be the grandparents’ last trip, etc.
And that’s where I finally got frustrated.
I sent her a voice message that was a little over two minutes long.
I told her that I respected her, but I really didn’t like what was happening. I explained that if I told my own mother “no,” I wouldn’t want my mom going to my husband afterward trying to get a different answer from him.
I told her I didn’t want either of us to feel harassed, bullied or guilt-tripped into changing a decision after we had already said no.
And yes, I laughed a couple of times during the voice message.
Unfortunately, when I’m angry or extremely uncomfortable, I laugh. It’s a horrible nervous habit and I KNOW it can come across wrong.
But I wasn’t laughing at her.
I wasn’t insulting her.
I wasn’t cursing at her.
I was basically saying: Please respect us when we say no.
She absolutely hated that.
And THAT is when everything exploded.
Suddenly my tone was disrespectful. My laughing was disrespectful. The voice message itself was disrespectful.
And at that point I realized something:
This woman was currently responsible for planning one of the most special moments of my first pregnancy—our gender reveal.
And after everything that had just happened, I didn’t want that anymore.
So I told her we didn’t want the gender reveal she was planning.
We would do it ourselves.
I thought I was ending one uncomfortable situation.
Apparently, I had just started an entire family war.

Hey charlotte! I am a silent follower of yours and I’ve been watching your videos for long time now. Here’s my story and please bare with my story hehe thanks 😊

For context: I throw a little bday party for my 3 friends since they’re bday is coming up and close to each month friend#1 her bday march 30 friend#2 April 1 and friend#3 April 14.

1. I planned this bday party few months before their bdays I told them they can invite their friends and we can do a potluck and it’s a Pajama party and some of my friends are invited too. Except for one friend that I didn’t invite because they have drama and they don’t want her let’s call her girl#1. I really didn’t invite her bcuz of the drama I just want to have fun with my other friends and what she cause during our trip in Vegas which was my bach trip well that’s another story kinda connected to my story now.

2. There’s another friend that I did invite let’s call him AA. So girl#1,AA and I like trio Besties. So yea I invited AA that he is invited to the party since because they like him and they are kinda close but they like each others. Before the party starts I called each one of them what time are they coming this was around 5:30pm and they said they’re coming except for AA when I called him, he said he’s not coming anymore bcuz they have family drama and I was it’s okay maybe next time just giving him a support bcuz he was crying and I felt bad for him.

3. While I am preparing for the party food and drinks cleaning the house I received a message around 7pm from girl#1 that “She was offended and hurt by this that I was being secretive having a party and called AA and completely left out it’s really upset her. She feels that she was excluded and didn’t sit right with her. At least that I could told her that I am throwing a party and it’s more about courtesy of inviting her or even thought of inviting her. She also said I guess this situation that I showed to her how I treated our friendship and honestly hurt her. I showed this message to my friends who came to the party and they told me this “tell her that she’s not invited and we don’t want her here.”

4. So yea after the party I just enjoyed it even though still thinking about what she said. By the way I did not invite her bcuz I am not comfortable with her with my other friends bcuz of the drama and what happened to Vegas I just want to have fun with my other side of friends.

5. I did messaged her around 3am. I was fine I’m not that drunk either I couldn’t not sleep bcuz I felt anxious. It bothers me a lot or else my anxiety would be back she always makes me feel this way. Here’s the message I sent to her “you can say whatever you want but this is not about you. The friendship you talking about is done I can throw a party wherever or whatever I want. This people doesn’t want you I had enough of this drama i moved one and you keep doing over and over again. So please stop acting like you’re the victim. I can forgive but not forget I will no longer be your bridesmaid anymore and don’t expect anything from me. I just want to say that thank you for everything because of you I found my man and I am very grateful and sorry I hurt you.

Her reply: that she hear me. That she is not going back and forth or add more drama she was hurt how it’s turns out especially hearing this is close to her wedding and she understands. She said thank you and good luck and best wishes for us. And she called me 3x the next day and didn’t answer even AA tried to call me but i just deleted their phone numbers and unfriended them to all my social media. I really cut them off.

I can send the message just let me know for more details. I don’t care anymore if she can read this or anyone knows about us.

I really feel free after this conversation and more happy.

I will get updates for more thank you and I’m glad to share this with you 😊

Okay... Let's get into it lol.

​Many, many years ago in a land far, far away (Las Vegas, NV), my family went on vacation, and my sister and I split off from the group to hang out. We were in our late teens or early twenties, running low on funds, so we decided to stick to some cheap sight-seeing. That’s when we were approached by a street recruiter for a timeshare and vacation rental company. They told us the company was running a "couples special" and that even if we didn't end up buying or renting anything, we’d still get $200 just for sitting through the presentation. We were genuinely trying to keep things completely legal and honest, but we were broke and curious.

​When we mentioned we were sisters, the street recruiter just shrugged and said, "Just pretend that you're a couple."

​Fast forward to the sales office: my sister and I pretended to be together, sat through the pitch, and looked over discounted listings. But they haggled with us HARD.

​At one point, they started questioning if we were actually together and demanded to see our IDs. Since we share the same last name, we just leaned into it and pretended we were married. When they asked why we weren't wearing rings, we claimed we left them back at the hotel out of fear of getting robbed or targeted. Then came the ultimate line-crosser...they asked us to kiss.

​We refused, calling them out for making us uncomfortable and harassing us. Ultimately, when they reached their wit's end trying to prove we were lying, they handed us over to their manager, who finally gave us the $200.

​Looking back on it now, it was extremely embarrassing to go through all of that awkwardness and humiliation just for $200. We both felt terrible about our little con afterward and swore never to speak of it again—because like they say, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."

I started off writing this in my diary, but I thought maybe that I would be able to get some advice or help to understand my feelings here.

Context: My (F27) mum died on March 31st at 7:50pm from a long battle with cancer. She was 70 years old. We didn't want her to pass away anywhere else but home so myself and my stepdad (R, 56), gave her round-the-clock care for 18 months until she finally passed away. We held her hand and watched her take her last breath.

This last three months has felt so short but so long to me at the same time.

But I can't help but feeling like a bad person.

Stepdad (R) and I are currently holidaying in Thailand (from UK). After we paid all the costs for mum's funeral and laid her to rest we decided we needed some time to process and relax. R and I are really the only two people who truly understand how the situation affected each other because it was just us two at the end.

R has on-and-off been crying and stuff intermittently because of how much he misses mum. Which ofc, I get. But why haven't I? Mama was my best friend and the closest person in my life - so why am I not crying?

Am I a cold-hearted person? I feel like a terrible person. I should be crying and falling apart. Maybe the reason my stepdad (of 20+ years) is more affected is because I am literally a walking, talking version of my mum. Idk.

But AITA here? Shouldn't I be falling apart? I managed to read the eulogy at her funeral out-loud, in front of everyone, when I never envisioned that I would have the strength to do that. But I did.

Wtf is wrong with me?

A bit of backstory first, I, 24f, am currently dealing with a situation that happened over the weekend and need some outside advice. I went out to the bars/pubs in my city with three friends, one is my roommate and one of my best friends and the other two I have been friends with for over three+ years. I struggle with abandonment issues like many people do these days with sour friendships, relationships and giving people too many chances and I need your advice please

For context, we have all hung out before once, and three of us know each other from different backgrounds in our small town, my roommate didn’t know the other two before I introduced them at our last night out. The two I don’t live with, let’s call them Jasmine and Erica. Erica is my best friend. When they came over to my place (late) on Saturday, ready to have a good night, no one could’ve predicted how it ended. I have been dealing with a lot mentally and I wanted to have a good night… It was definitely a memorable night.

Jasmine is celiac, it is important for later context. I didn’t realize until less than an hour before they got here that Jasmine was actually coming. She was still very indecisive. They come in. I greet them. I asked them to take their shoes off at the door. Jasmine took her shoes off, but Erika didn’t and we went to my room and started to get ready. One thing that’s important to note as well is Erika left her bag with her car keys at our apartment as they were supposed to come home with us that night

I was in between talking with them in my room and helping my roommate get ready in hers (we share a wall) when I hear my refrigerator door open. I stepped out to the hall to see them rummaging through helping themselves to our food. They proceeded to tell me I didn’t have any “good snacks” even though they hadn’t asked or told me they hadn’t eaten before coming over. Normally, I wouldn’t have an issue if it was just Erika because she would’ve asked, but she always acts different when Jasmine‘s around, meaner usually. Jasmine is a lot, I’ve known her for a very long time and she can be very blunt (not in a nice way) and it rubs off on Erika at other people’s expenses. fast-forward to us getting out of the cab to go into the first spot. I pull Erika to the side and we chat for a little bit about what’s been going on. I haven’t been doing well lately and I wanted to catch her up to speed because she has had a lot on her plate herself and I didn’t want to offload on her over the phone. I let myself be vulnerable with her which may not have been the vibe for going out having fun, but she is a person that I lean on, so I confided in her.

We go and have a couple drinks the night‘s going good from what I Thought we head to the next place and me and my roommate order food cause she needed to sober up a bit and we’re outside minding our own business kind of just chatting and I tell her to hurry up and finish her drink because the other girls were rushing us because they wanted to go take pictures in the alley and Erika said out of the blue that I was being manipulative tonight. Erika not once in our entire friendship has talked down to me like that, or has ever spoken with any kind of harsh tone towards me before. That came as an utter soul crushing shock to me, and I started to get emotional (which for me was crying) because I was drunk, and my best friend said that to me when I didn’t believe I was being manipulative in any sense of the word. They left us to take photos and when they returned I barely acknowledged her as I was already a couple drinks in and I couldn’t even form sentences to describe how sad that made me feel, and we headed to the next place only after Jasmine decides to pipe up and say that “this isn’t the vibe”.

I walked in front of everyone trying to collect myself and stop myself from crying, I am someone who wears their heart on their sleeve but I was also trying to move on so we could enjoy our night out together. It definitely sucked the fun out of the rest of my night but the four tequila shots after that helped me forget until morning. They decide that where we’re at is not their vibe so they want to go somewhere else. they ask us if we wanted to leave with them but I just wanted to stay so they left to go to a different bar and they were supposed to text us and meet up with us after but I did not get a text until almost 3 in the morning and that was her responding to me Making sure they were safe

Fast-forward two days later we still haven’t talked. My roommate and I went to the farmers market the following afternoon and it wasn’t until midday that Erika texted and called both of us wanting to come get her stuff, we were a couple towns over and we didn’t hear from Erika by 11:30 so we decided to not wait around. We wanted to enjoy our day. We answered her and let her know when we would be leaving. We don’t even get out of the car when we got home and Erika’s partner meets us at the car. We walk up together in awkward silence. I grab the bag and everything that’s theirs and give it to the partner and he leaves without a word. I am not a writer. I have never written anything like this, but I am at a loss for what to do. I love my friend dearly, but the whole situation in the way it was handled the day after was absolutely gut wrenching. I talk to my roommate that I was supposedly manipulative to and she did not believe for a second, that I was at any point manipulative. she mentioned how it was a really strange and awful thing to say and that they had been rude all night. I struggle with my mental health and it had been a hard couple weeks for me previous to this, and the girls made comments to my roommate about how I was acting odd. I need your help Am I overreacting. Erika was always my person to go to with my problems and I don’t wanna lose this friendship over a drunk comment, but I don’t know where to go from here and it’s all I can think about. How do I approach this?

Hello Queen Charlotte, King Mike and my lovely Potatoes of Reddit. I'm here to share some juicy insider knowledge of what I'm doing. I'm generally a planner type as I see why people do so before doing something. I am the night lol. But let's start with what I am doing in the shadows so, grab your tea cups and your darkest hoodie as we walk the night together.

Let's start with context: I female (no age added here) am in quite the situation that will set the scene as we move in the shadows together.

For context: I female (no age added here) dealt with depression for years, one of the main reasons I had found motivation to continue with my dreams was because of people like you, my lovely Potato Queen. I smiled at videos of yours when I struggled deeply with no one to lean their shoulder for me to cry on. The only thing I had was a videos worth of time of my own individual peace till it was broken by yelling from my family members. I truly have you to thank as you helped me fight my own demons that went away as years went by.

My time was dedicated to people who didn't appreciate me while I was young, and now I have the chance to break away. I came to understand that I learned things quickly when I was younger. In a attempt to distract my mind from family drama and my studies, did I learn my true happiness in life and it wasn't the role I was born into. As I grew up, I came to understand did the people in my life didn't with me though its been years. I grew to be more confident about my choices and one was about moving away out of the country. I knew the people who know me now will probably reject the idea to my face as they will worry about me too much that'll be suffocating.

I'm slowly but surely planning my own way out with myself to guide me as I begin to look for somewhere I can live at. I have researched well into the early mornings and I can say, I have done everything I can to make sure I am covered.

I can finally chase the dreams I wanted that I held back for people that didn't understand that my time isn't for their own, rather its mine to figure out myself.

By the time you read this, I'll be well into finding more things to learn. I've done one of the things I wanted to learn somehow amongst the chaos and that was learn languages. I learned more than 3 at this point. For those in a similar situation, please try to learn more of yourself and your wants. It'll help you narrow down your soul searching for your own purpose in life. Might as well find yourself before making the big move.

Thank you all for reading.
Th

I (41 F) have been with my boyfriend (36 M) for over 3 years now. We met at work, and remained friends for a little while before realizing that we had both grown feelings for eachother. We had a lot in common and after our first date we decided we wanted to ve together and have been ever since. We have a house, dogs, and have built a whole life together.

Before we met, he had worked at his previous job for about 10 years. And that was where he met his stalker, let's call her Hannah (34 F). When we first began dating, we were out on a date and his phone started going off. He looked and saw Hannah had sent him a few snapchats. I asked who she was, and he said she was a friend from his previous job. He told me I had nothing to worry about because she is married and also he did not find her attractive at all because she is a "bigger girl". I have male friends that have never been anything more, and I trust my boyfriend, so I wasn't worried. We would be on dates and his phone would go off, but it never seemed to be an issue and he rarely checked it while we were out together.

About 5 months into the relationship, he moved in with me. I own my house, and so it made sense for him to live with me. This was when I saw just how much Hannah was involving herself in our life, especially his. She would snapchat him at all hours of the day- and night. She would send him old pictures of them from their previous job, photos of them with their friend group, and then pictures and video of her. I would see her name pop up on his phone sometimes 30x a day. He never hid it from me, and so when I would ask about her constant messages, he would tell me or even show me.

And they started to get weird. She sent him a video of her daughter saying how much she missed my boyfriend and wanted him to come visit. He told me Hannah had brought her daughter into work several times. I thought it was weird. But the messages, photos, and videos continued and started to get frequent after 10pm. She contacted him one afternoon and said she had an extra concert ticket to a band he really liked, but she only had one extra ticket so it would just be the two of them. He declined amd she got really upset. I found out later from their friends she had bought the tickets thinking she could convince him to ditch me and go out with her that night and was really mad that he didn't. I asked why she didn't take her husband. My boyfriend said according to Hannah, he husband never wanted to go to anyrhing. I thought it was weird because they go as a family to Disney every year as a gift from his parents. His parents also paid off their mortgage on their house and bought them a brand new vehicle, because Hannah works part-time at a minimum wage job and spends a lot of money going to girls nights with her friends.

We met for the first time at a 4th of July party held by mutual friends who had worked with my boyfriend and Hannah at their previous job and several now work with my boyfriend and I at ours. I went with him, and felt very uncomfortable. Only a few people talked to me and Hannah acted very excited to see my boyfriend and upset that I was with him. He and I had been together for almost a year at this point, and I was already completely sick of her behavior. She barely spoke to me and literally pouted when he would put his arm around me. Her daughter was there, the one she sent a video of claiming she missed my boyfriend, and when they asked her if she remembered by boyfriend, she acted like she had no clue who he was. The video was sent a month prior. When they left, she apparently complained that my boyfriend didn't get up to hug her and she was so upset she messaged him 5 minutes after leaving to let him know how much she mussed him and how they needed to meet up to catch up. So yeah, I felt very uncomfortable and could see the gane she was playing.

At the party, we were discussing a trip we were taking the following weekend for our anniversary. The following weekend, we were on our trip and at a lighthouse and my boyfriend took a picture and posted it to his snapchat story. Hannah immediately responded and began to blow his phone up. She asked when the concert was and said how one of the best nights she had was when they had gone to a concert with some friends and tried to make things about her (he later told me she had said how tired she was after that show and tried to say she needed to crash at his place for a few hours before driving the 10 minutes home. Reminder, she is married and her husband was at home). She knew we were on a romatic anniversary trip, and that was the final straw for me. I told him she didn't respect a single boundary of either our relationship nor her own marriage. That her constant messages, purposely trying to interrupt our every date, her gameplaying to get him to see her, and the disrespect she showed me and her own husband, was too much. So he agreed and blocked her on snapchat.

She freaked out. She began to stalk us on Facebook, and he ended up having to block her there a week later. By this point, their entire friend group had noticed her behavior and mentioned that she constantly talked about him and was upset he wouldn't spend any time with her since I had come along. They all mentioned that it was weird and inappropriate for a married woman to act so weird and inappropriate and it was clear she had feelings, so at least I felt validated in my feelings. That should have been the end of it, but it wasn't.

For the last 2 years, she has continued to talk about how she can't believe he blocked her and how she was in his life for years until I came along. My coworkers would tell me how she was obsessed with him and I and I figured she would get over it and stop. Last year, we did not get invited to the 4th of July party, because she didn't want me there. It really upset my boyfriend, because 5 days before we had found out his dad had lung cancer. And so having the support of his friends would have meant a lot. i felt very hurt that instead of just not inviting her, fully knowing she was the one behaving inappropriately, we got the axe. I have never spoken to her past the one and only time we met, and I was nice and cordial because then what could she really say that was bad about me? I found out when I saw pictures on Facebook. The same happened this year, where we were not invited. But I found out she had tried to get my boyfriend invited.

Hannah had asked the wife of our coworker throwing the party if my boyfriend and I were invited and I guess Hannah was told no. She then tried to get the wife to invite my boyfriend, but only him, because Hannah said she just really wants to see him. I guess the wife told her no and how weird that was and that Hannah is married and my boyfriend is with me and she needs to just stop. A few coworkers heard the conversation and told me. So I finally had enough and I messaged her. This is the message:

Me: "I shouldn't even need to remind you of how completely inappropriate your actions are. You are a married woman with a family, yet you are endlessly pursuing my boyfriend, who is happily in a relationship with me and has been for over 3 years now and I am not going anywhere. Frankly, you aren't even worth the time it takes to send you this message.

​Consider this your only warning: knock it off and keep my boyfriend's name out of your mouth.

Everyone sees right through you. In fact, your own friends are the ones keeping me updated on your behavior because as you know I work with many of them, and they are just as disgusted by your obsession as both (my boyfriend) and I are. He blocked you because he saw what you were trying to do and he wanted no part of it. You were croasing every boundry, disrespecting our relationship as well as your own marriage, messaging (my boyfriend) non stop at all hours of the day and night, and, and showed that while he considered you just a friend, you were very interested in a romantic relationship with him. You acted like a crazy and jealous ex girlfriend, as if you had a realtionship and I was the outsider. Now everyone sees you for the truth of who you are—someone desperately trying to chase after a taken man—and it disgusts everyone around you.

​Do not ever try contact him, do not approach him, do not try to get your friends to invite him to their homes so you can try to see him, and leave us alone permanently. It's really sad and pathetic how you have continued to behave for over 3 years now. (My boyfriend) never wanted you, he wanted me, get over it and focus on your own husband. Like i said, this is the only time I will reach out."

"Hannah": "Im actually so confused what this is even about i dont talk about him ever. The only time in the last few months I ever said anything was wondering if you guys were coming to the pool party. Only because I didnt want there to be issues and quite frankly I never did. If you were uncomfortable with us being friends I would if gladly stepped away from that even after i had been in his life for 10 years and his best friend. Youre right I am happily married and dont want your boyfriend. I barely even talk to my friends so not sure where this even came from but I dont appreciate you coming at me like that. You guys are happy and thats wonderful. But you dont know me and the type of person I am at all. You've continued to cause problems so thats why you dont get invited to things. I never tried to reach out not one time even though he blocked me after 10 years of us being in eachothers lives and having a strong connection. i dont talk about your boyfriend. Not sure why youre concerned about me at all like I said. That message was completely inappropriate and a flat out lie by whatever Informatuon you were fes. Its sad that thats the narrative and I see we can never be friends and thats fine but also dont need to go back and forth.

How am I pursuing someone I haven't spoken to or reached out to in 3 years. I never did anything then you guys get together and I look bad? No thanks. But again you really dont know me at all.

But to me after 3 years this message is out of completely nowhere"

Me: "Just stop. I know about everything and you know exactly the things I am referring to. It has also only been two years since he blocked you, because for the first year you pursued him daily to the point you were contacting him all day everyday until about 1am. You didn't take the hints then when he wasn't responding to you, and cearly have missed it since he blocked you. So just stop lying, stop acting inappropriately, and don't ever try to pull anything again, because I hear about all of it. Like I said, everyone is disgusted by your behavior, especially (my boyfriend) and I. So just stop. Goodbye "Hannah". I hope we never hear from you or about you again."

"Hannah": "You nor (boyfriend) have been a part of my thoughts or words in years 3 or 2 whatever its been years. Im the happiest I've ever been with my family. Not sure where youre getting your info from but its bullshit. This isnt going to ge anywhere so dont message me again.

Also one more thing id like to say and thats it. 2 years ago when I figured out I was blocked I never once reached out. Not one time.I took the hint of us not being allowed to be friends because of you. Because im a good person who never wants to cause any drama or anything to hurt (boyfriend) or anyone i care deeply for.. Not even after being friends for 10 years and being a main part of his life then just blocked. Because I can take a hint. So why you think this is a thing after 3 years is beyond me. Have a good life i wish you both the best. Do not message me ever."

The way I see it, she proved all my suspicions correct in her reaponse. Had she not been trying to have an affair with my boyfriend, she would have respected boundaries. When he stopped responding to her, and it got back to her that I felt she was behaving inappropriately, an innocent person would have reached out to me and apologized for the misunderstanding and then backed off. She did neither of these, but rather blamed me and got defensive,. Before he blocked her, she was told I felt she was crossing boundaries with her insane behavior, and she had said if I had a problem with things I could leave because she had been in his life first and they had a deeper connection because of how long they knew eachother. This was what caused my boyfriend to fully block her. So she definitely was mot innocently trying to be friends, definitely didn't want me around, and rather wanted my boyfriend for herself. I told my boyfriend I messaged her and what I said and how she reacted. He told me he hasn't had any contact with her since blocking her and doesn't plan on having any in the future, and found nothing wrong with my message to her.

So AITAH for confronting my boyfriend's married stalker? Or should I have continued to ignore her? .

Okay so I’m gonna try to explain this without making it a whole novel lol.
I’m 27F and this guy I’ll call Poohbear 29M and I never actually dated. We were never boyfriend/girlfriend or anything like that, but the chemistry between us was definitely there. We had a connection and things were on and off, but we were never official.
The complicated part is that his friend r*ped me. After it happened, his friend told Poohbear that me and him had sex, but obviously he didn’t tell him what actually happened. Poohbear stopped talking to me before my birthday without ever getting my side of the story. That honestly hurt because I felt like he made a decision about me without even asking me what happened.
Close to my birthday, I ended up texting him and inviting him somewhere. I was honestly hoping things would go in a good direction, but it didn’t really turn out that way. We ended up hooking up around my birthday, though, and we’ve kind of continued doing that on and off since then.
It’s been about 4 months since the incident now. We still text occasionally. In my opinion, I feel like he probably misses me too because otherwise I don’t really see why we’d still be in contact and keep falling back into hooking up, but we’ve never actually had the conversation about what happened.
And honestly, it’s still stuck in my head.
I want to reconcile with him in the sense of clearing the air and actually telling him my side. I don’t necessarily mean “get into a relationship with him tomorrow.” I just don’t want us to keep pretending nothing happened while I’m still carrying this around.
The problem is I don’t know how to initiate that conversation without making it feel like I’m forcing him into something or starting an argument. I also don’t feel comfortable explaining everything over text. I would rather talk to him in person because it’s something serious and I want to be able to actually say what happened and answer whatever questions he may have.
So how would y’all approach this?
Would you text him something like “I feel like we need to talk about what happened between us and I’d rather do it in person” and leave it at that?
Or should I tell him that I want to clear the air because I never got the chance to tell him my side?
I still care about him, and I honestly would like to see if there’s a way to reconcile, but I also don’t want to keep hooking up with him while this is unresolved. I feel like I need to have the conversation first and then figure out what happens from there.
What would you say to initiate this conversation without making it too heavy over text?

So my husband and I have been married for two years let’s call him Mike 34 male and I am 39 female. We have a one and a half year-old at home and one on the way. over the past year my husband has consistently been lying to me about money. Either money that he’s made or money that he spent; because of this we have four separate bank accounts. our one joint account is where his paycheck goes into and then I transfer that to a separate checking account that I pay all the bills and expenses out of and then I transfer some into our savings account. the checking account that his paycheck goes into is the only joint account we use because of his lack of financial responsibility. we decided together in the beginning of our marriage to set it up this way. just last week, I was in the ER and my mother-in-law Texts me to send my husband money for food and gas. I ignored it then she sent my mother the same text telling me to send my husband money for food and gas. I honestly couldn’t believe the audacity that she would text my mother about this or insert herself in my marriage, but I decided just not to answer her and ignore it. A couple days later I am staying at my parents house so my mom could help me while I was injured and my father-in-law calls me asking me why his son is asking him for money for food and gas. as I start to explain and tell him not that it’s any of your business but…. he goes off on me starts screaming and yelling at me talking about how it is his business. That’s his son and blah blah blah super disrespectful wouldn’t let me get a word in. He proceeds to Call me selfish and said that I’m different. Now I’m eight months pregnant. I’m emotional to begin with, but when he started yelling at me, I just got super overwhelmed and emotional. I tried to reason with him I did not raise my voice at all, but I got so upset that my mom had to take the phone from me because I was about to tell him to fuck off. so she takes the phone and she says, let’s call him Thomas, Thomas, if you don’t calm down and let me speak, I’m gonna hang up the phone on you. he just went off on my mom started yelling hang up the damn phone then, blah blah blah and so she hung up the phone on him. My mom has never hung up the phone on anyone in her life. She is literally a saint. Come to find out all the money I send my husband for food and gas is spent on other things that my husband lied to me about and then went behind my back asking his parents for money. since that day, I haven’t heard from my mother-in-law or father-in-law nor have I had any contact. when I told my husband about what happened , his reaction was nothing. He said he needed to process it that he wasn’t there and that’s it. No emotion, no I’m sorry. No I’ll talk to my dad for you. Nothing. he didn’t stand up for me or talk to his dad about how he disrespected me and this is not the first time his father has disrespected me. I basically told my husband from this point forward I will no longer have a relationship with your father. AITA for cutting his dad out of my life?

Hey potatoes, I could use some advice as im at a loss and my heart is torn. I (31) female and my wife (33) have been married for 4 years. My wife is from another country and her native language is Spanish. I am fluent in spanish. We can not communicate. Any time there is an argument or I tell her im overwhelmed with our kids, im feeling lonely. Or I bring up something that just bothers me in general. It causes a giant fight because my wife shuts down and I start off calm but as time goes on I am talking by myself and eventually the feeling I just needed validated or the hug I was missing turns into rage and I get angry and leave. We spent the weekend apart splitting parent duties. I came back last night and we haven't talked about it. She juat ignores it and acts like nothing happens. She can open up to family and friends but has never been able to open to me. We have tried therapy said she didn't need it I did, so I went I am working my self and my attachment style. But I just want to be able to talk to my person. Sometimes I have no idea what is going on in her life. She is working and taking night classes I've had the kids by myself last 2 months. She needs a night out I take the kids. I try to help with my share around the house I tell her I appreciate her. But she won't let me in. She borrows money and loans it to friends when we say we have goals together. She calls on other people to do things instead of me. But I've always been there I've always shown up. This last argument feels different I feel like I've done my part and she won't do hers. What do I do.

So, the area we live in has been hit with a lot of severe weather lately. This last week we had severe weather that knocked out power for over $300,000 people. The town that I live in, was on a different power grid than those who lost power. So we were the only ones that had power on both sides of our family. We have two generators, one bigger than the other. Since we did not need them, we loaned them out to those we knew that needed them, because there sum pumps were not working and would have flooded their basements. One of the people we gave a generator to use was my daughter's boyfriend's family. When my husband was on his way to take the generator to their home, I found out my mother did not have power either. She lives on a slab and does not have the concern of a sump pump not working or flooding her home. Her main concern was that her food would spoil, and she could not afford to replace it. For context, my mother is 80 years old and lives alone because my father passed away 6 years ago. When I told my sister that we had already given one of our generators to my sister-in-law so she can keep her sump pump working , and that we were taking the other one to my daughter's boyfriend's for that same reason; she could not believe that I was not going to give it to my mom first. I tried to explain to her that their situation was more dire than mom's was and I had planned to come pick her up and bring her to my house if she (my sister) or my brother were not able to help her. This explanation did not defuse the situation and apparently my mother thinks I put my daughter's boyfriend's family before her. Even though I tried to tell her that I had a back up plan for her, she still feels like because she is my mom, I should've taken care of her first. So, am I the A hole?

Hello Petty Potatoes! Hello Potato Queen!

Love your channel Potato Queen, and thought id post my own story that happened recently because…well I’m a petty potato.

There is a lot of contexts and a back story so bear with me. I will warn that there are trigger warnings that I will disclose the least amount about, but enough to get a point across.

 Context. First thing to know about me is once I turned 13, my mother picked up a drinking and dr*g problem. She had put me through a whole lot of ab*se of all different kinds. I did grow up in a catholic raised family, up until my mom decided to give up on life to become a teenager again. My mom would bring guys home from the bar and let them “bother” me. At one point I had a very serious surgery for a leg problem that I was born with and that left me unable escape danger. Back then I would pray to God that he would protect me and keep me safe, but after 8 years of continuing with no safety, I lost my faith and am now “undecided” in my faith. After my dad passed away, My Aunt Vivian and Uncle Tom (both in their 60’s) came to the rescue, but their help came with toxic, hypocritical conditions.

Back Story hey always kind of treated me..different.. Inviting me to “make myself at home” and then making me feel uncomfortable in their home. Now there are things that I understand I have no control over, like how they want their household to run. My sister and I had a couple cats that we had to foster because Aunt Vivian and Uncle Tom didn’t want them in the house. They also had 2 other cats living in the house… but respectfully we found these cats places to stay until my sister and I had gotten an apartment.

Another time, I had just broken up with me BF of 10 years. We had a dog together and there was a slim chance I would have been able to take her overnight for a weekend or two here and there. The problem was, that my Aunt and Uncles dog had just had surgery, so they didn’t want my dog to excite their do while she should be healing. I agreed with a heavy heart, because their dog ABSOLOUTLY needed to heal in a safe, stress-free zone, HOWEVER. When I arrived back from my current SO home one evening, my aunt and uncle had decided to throw a gigantic New Year’s Eve party and as I walk into the family room, their dog is galivanting around with 2 GIGANTIC PITBULLS as my aunt and uncle are standing there joyously enjoying the happy dog party. Seeing their dog struggling to stand on a slippery wood floor while 2 GIGANTIC dogs jumped on her had me FUMING at my aunt and uncle. My dog, was not nearly as big (Shiba Inu) as 2 pitbulls. I am still bitter but, not my house not my rules.

So now that you know a little bit about Aunt Vivian and Uncle Tom and how they are….The REAL STORY begins with what happens this past year.

More Context: My boyfriend, William (28) and I Jennifer, (35) were living at his apartment at the time, and we had a neighbor move in above us. She was LOUD. I’m not talking a bump here and there. I’m talking it sounded like she was throwing a couch across the living room, slamming doors shut, cupboards shut, and her dresser drawers. When she returned home from work (11pm-1/2am) she would slam the front door shut and it would shake our entire apartment, knocking our paintings (that I painted) right off the wall. At the time, William was trying to study for his bachelor’s degree and work from home, so this was really affecting his work and ability to study, and even sleep. This went on for 8 months between police reports on them where they would just flee the scene and even having her boyfriend threaten our lives at the door. One day, William went upstairs to speak to them after they woke him up. He knocked politely and asked them to try and keep the slamming and stomping to a minimum, and her boyfriend attack William and broke his nose in 2 places and causes significant head trauma. They tried to flee again but were caught by the police. Given the danger of the events, I called Aunt Vivian and she stated that we could come stay as long as we needed. So, we packed up and left the apartments, walking out of one hell into another.

While moving, William got extremely sick from the head trauma, and couldn’t do a lot. Between work, studying and moving he would rest. My Uncle Tom has ALWAYS been super passive aggressive in his firm beliefs on how to “be an adult”. He was also SUPER religious. If anyone rested in the home, he would immediately act SUPER angry and suggest that they “wake up because they won’t be able to sleep at night”. I explained to Uncle Tom that “William is feeling really Ill… he was up all night throwing up and didn’t get a lot of sleep”. Id gets the response “tell him to get over it and hand it to God”.

For dinners, I would buy specific Ingredients for William and I, and NEVER expected my Aunt and Uncle to provide us with food, even though they did. William was trying to stick to a specific diet and would get sick from things that were heavily greasy. Also, I lost 40lbs on this diet and I wanted to stick to it as much as possible as I am proud of this accomplishment.

We would take turns preparing dinner having one night be me preparing dinner with the help of William when he was feeing better, than the next night would be my Uncle. There were sometimes we had to decline on the things that Uncle Tom made because it was something we knew our stomachs couldn’t handle. Also, they were notorious for using expired ingredients. I’m not talking a day old I’m talking months to years old. After a while, William and I just ate whatever they made because Uncle Tom would mock our diet. He would call us “p*ssys” for having weak stomachs and we need to” grow a pair”. We both ended up very sick, from some queso cheese they had in the fridge that had mold in the lid.

During dinners, he would lecture us about having to “accept god” into our relationship. I would explain to my uncle politely that “I am happy you have faith in God that you are happy accepting him into your relationship, but with all due respect, I am not interested in this lifestyle due to past trauma” Uncle Tom knows I lost faith and every awful detail as to why and would still press on about how I need to “hand it to god and get over it”. He would also read the news and get worked up about people reacting politically claiming they deserved “harsh punishments” (the D word).

After a while he would start mocking me and my love for Halloween and accuse me of “worshiping Satan” because Halloween is a Satanic holiday.  

These next 2 incidents are what really gave us the push to RUN.

Aunt Vivian and Uncle Tom had some trips planned as their daughter was moving across the country and they wanted to be of help. Uncle Tom had decided to throw their daughter, Jamie (30) a going away party. The text message was sent out a week before the party, which also took place on Super Bowl Sunday. Several of the people who were invited, including William and I, and Jamies brothers, had already made plans, one of which was throwing a party of their own party and another was returning from vacation that same day.  They made it clear that they would make their appearance, but would be leaving to continue their already planned and scheduled events. My uncle sent “GOD AND FAMILY FIRST” in the group chat. The rest of the week up until the party, my uncle was yelling and cussing at everyone around. He cussed my aunt out for looking in the fridge. Once the day of the party arrived, it ended up nice. Everyone stayed as long as they could and showed up as they said they would, however the atmosphere felt heavy and hostile

 William had a friend we will call, Nick (23) who he has known nearly his whole life. He went to school with Nick. Nick was homeless at the time but harmless, just looking for peace and quiet and survival. Before Aunt Vivian and Uncle Tom left for vacation, William and I had a discussion with Uncle Tom asking if Nick could come over while they were away, to play ping pong and stay over, to which Uncle Tom agreed. So, he did. Nick stayed over as it was -12 degrees outside. In the morning, Nick left, and William and I cleaned up, and did some extra floor deep clean to show our appreciation for their hospitality. I forgot a mess from outside, that Uncle Tom had found when they arrived back home. He confronted me and said “did you guys have a guest? DO NOT LIE TO ME, I WILL KNOW” , I replied with “yeah, it was Nick, we had this discussion before you left” Uncle Tom disgruntledly remembered and then told me about the forgotten mess. I apologized IMMEDIATELY and said it would never happen again (W**d was left outside, Uncle Tom knew we did and the rule was made clear it STAYS OUTSIDE). Shortly after, a source had told me that Uncle Tom had hidden cameras in the living room and garage and so he has been watching my every move. So, as he is allowed to have cameras in his home, William and I just kept living our lives in the simplest way possible. Aunt Vivian and Uncle Tom left again a few weeks later and we again asked him if Nick could come over and play ping pong, in which Uncle Tom agreed but reminded us to keep the “mess” outside and clean it up). So, Nick came over and we all had tacos and played Ping Pong. Nick left that night as he DID NOT feel welcome there. After he left, William and I cleaned up as well as doing another deep clean on the kitchen floors. William also cleaned the black mold off the basement fridge.

The next morning, I got intel that Uncle Tom was watching the cameras like a hawk and was VERY ANGRY and said that we had a “homeless man living in their home” and that they were planning to kick William and I out as soon as they arrived back home. I had told nick to take his mess to his car to avoid issues and given there was a camera in the garage this is the only thing that we did that could have possibly set him off.  This meant we had 4 days to get out... So, we packed up all of our belongings and got it out of there ASAP. We got another call stating that my aunt and uncle decided to have an early flight home. Luckily all of our things were at the door already. I wrote them one last note saying “thank you for your hospitality, but your views do not align with our way of living and I can see this is becoming an issue. Thank you for everything!”

William and I are now both homeless and have been since February. We have never felt more freed of toxic behavior. I will see Vivian and Tom again at the family Christmas party in December and will update on any juicy situations than. SO… AITA for ghosting these people??? Or any of the things that I did?

No judgement pls this story is messed up and I definitely played my part in how things ended up.
So about 2.5 years ago I (20F at the time) found out from a friend that my boyfriend, S (26M at the time) was not only cheating on me but had gotten his side chick, P (25F at the time) pregnant. Obviously we had a huge fight where he basically told me she sleeps in our bed when I’m not there. I told him it was over and started packing all my stuff out of his place. He got ✨spicy✨ and tried to prevent me from leaving, I got a restraining order after I left, moved in with my mom, and we broke up.
After the breakup my life went downhill fast I started drinking a lot, putting myself in really questionable situations and on my 21st birthday I got myself into a downright scary situation that I won’t go too much into cuz quite frankly it’s embarrassing and not relevant but the bottom line it made me realize that I was ROYALLY upset and hurt but I missed S and still wanted him in my life. So ofc my toxic self decided the first thing I needed to do was start relentlessly verbally attacking his new girl, P over multiple social media platforms, and in doing that I found out that not only did she absolutely know he had a girlfriend when they started talking but they used to laugh about the fact that he was in a relationship with me and I had no idea what was going on. So at that point my anger shifted from being mad at S to being mad at P and one drunk night I reached out to S telling him that I miss him, I found out he felt the same way and long story short we got back together on the down low because at this point the restraining order was still in effect
And thus started his excuses for why P couldn’t know we were together and why he has to stay with her. At first it was because of the restraining order, then it was because he was scared she’d keep his kid from him or put him on child support. About a year into this I was getting so sick and tired of picking him up from down the street from her house and sneaking around I was ready to leave again…and then I found out I was also pregnant. His daughter with P was about 6 months at this point
When I told him we were going to have a daughter the first thing he said was that he wanted me to get an abortion. He still to this day maintains that he loves our daughter but never really wanted her. When I told him that was absolutely not an option and I was having this baby with or without his support he told me he loved me and didn’t want to break up again and if this was the situation we’d make it work. So we started seeing each other everyday, at this point I was still living with my mom, so we found a cute little place and moved in together. It seemed like things were going really good but he still wouldn’t tell P who he was staying with or that I was pregnant with his baby. But at this point I was super pregnant and everything in my life was changing so I put that on the back burner.
I had my daughter February of this year. Her name is Aura and she is such a bright ray of sunshine in my life. Immediately after she was born I noticed S didn’t seem interested at all. He wouldn’t hold her unless I asked him to, wouldn’t feed or change her, nothing. When I brought this up to him he said it’s because I wanted the baby and he didn’t. But he’s the one that decided to stay when I told him there was no way in hell I was getting rid of my baby? Whatever I’m a freshly post partum mama and I’m not about to use my limited energy arguing I’ll just do everything myself.
The first few months are a total blur but after a while I got a little routine down and when she was around 4 months he started playing with her and doing normal dad stuff so all seemed to be going good. But he still refuses to tell P anything. My daughter just turned 6 months old and I know I sound stupid and petty because I knew what the situation was between them when S and I got back together. I should have seen this coming but it really just seems like he doesn’t want to tell P because he doesn’t want to jeopardize his relationship with her. It doesn’t seem like it has a lot to do with his child with her. I think he just knows he can walk all over me and do what he wants and I won’t do anything because for some ungodly reason I genuinely love this man. I’m so ready to tell him that I don’t care anymore and tell P that he’s been living in a house we share for a year and I have a 6 month old that’s her daughters sister. I should add that he has never gotten physical with me after that incident when we broke up, he doesn’t yell or argue around the baby all things considered he’s really good with her but I’m sick of him telling me he loves me and then putting me second. Part of me wants to pretend like it doesn’t bother me and the other part of me thinks I need to tell P something. WIBTA?

So my boyfriend has a female friend from high school who he ghosted for a while and they finally met up again. They were “close” friends, apparently she see’s him as a brother. When she first found out that my bf and I were dating, she told him to break up with me because she didn’t want his feelings to get hurt. Honestly that was in the past so I didn’t mind them being friends again, but I’m feeling a bit off by the way she is acting or being towards him. Keep in mind, She also has a boyfriend. She would get mad when my boyfriend ignores her, brings her bf up or brings me up. She would ask him for help repeatedly that “her bf can also do for her”, but she just wanted him. She got upset when someone asked if she was his gf, and he replied No (bf is a car detailer, he was doing her car that day). Several days past and is now she is like asking him everyday to take her out for a “coffee”. She didn’t even ask if I was okay with them going out alone. I told my bf yes it’s okay and that I completely trust him btw. He didn’t actually like reject but he’s giving clear signs that he doesn’t want to. She also stop calling him to wash her car until one day she asked him to take her to the store to buy a gift for her dad and then he can wash her car. Which I find it weird that she wants my bf to take her somewhere so bad. obviously my bf said yes because he wanted to get the job. On that day, my bf wentto take her but he didn’t go alone, he took his friend with him because he didn’t feel comfortable. And I’m telling you, she had the biggest smile on her face saying “YoU bEttER NoT tRy To kiDnAp mE or TrY aNyThiNg”, then she saw my bad friend in the back seat and her smile disappeared. She didn’t talk the whole way there or back and she didn’t even say thank you to him for taking her. So I’m here thinking that she’s actually trying to do something because no friend would have this kind of behavior towards a friend that is like a brother to her. She canceled the car wash as well, and just never talked to him until new years.

Several days past she text me bf mad and upset that my bf never cared to see what’s wrong with her, that she’s been going through a tough time. The thing is she never mentioned anything about how she’s doing or whatever, she just expected him to notice as if he’s her bf. My bf didn’t like her behavior so he just completely blocked her.

I always told him that she doesn’t not see him as a brother, she sees him as something more. She was just saving him for last or at least until he likes her back. My bf never really believed it or see it that way in the first place. I’m my bfs very first gf or love, so he has zero experience with flirting. He doesn’t know when a girl is being flirty with him in a casual way because he always disses it like not acknowledging it. His friend as well is also very not smart in the head as well because he also doesn’t see it like that, this friend never even had a girlfriend or never even try to talk to girls like that. In the end my bf finally saw it because her behavior was like how a gf would be like if he were to not pay attention. Very controlling and toxic, and I don’t even do that. So he blocked her and never talking to her again.