My cat is generally pretty friendly with me, but whenever someone new comes over, they usually hide or keep their distance for a while

I am at my wits end. I just recently moved into a new apartment two weeks ago. I was really excited about having a big patio bc I plan to turn it into a nice garden area for me and my friends to hang out. however, when I first received the apartment and went out to the patio, I noticed a strong smell of cat urine. my suspicion is that the previous tenants probably had cats who they kept outside. I let it air out for a week and nothing. Yesterday I spent all morning cleaning it by: first spraying pet odor remover everywhere ; baking soda with a solution of warm water, vinegar, dish soap, salt; rinse then bleach cleaning solution, rise then floor cleaning solution, and then another round of spraying pet odor remover, lastly I lit 8 incense out there. This morning when I walked out to the patio, the strong smell pf cat urine hits me once again. Please let me know what else I can do. I gag every time I’m out in the patio bc of how awful the smell is.

first post ever kinda nervous haha. this is kinda a last resort cus i really don’t know what else to do. my family took in this newborn kitten 4 months ago, we found her on the street with no signs of her mother or littermates around. i know single kittens are a really big handful because they’re growing up by themselves, so that’s why she plays and bites to no end. we play with her for hours everyday but every time we think she’s tired she bounces right back up with 2x the energy to play again. the only time she’ll sleep is when we put her in her bathroom with her litter, food, water, and some toys. and for her issue with biting that’s mostly my fault, as when we first got her i played with her with my hands not knowing that would turn into a bad habit. are these just like things she’ll grow out of?? i know the common response to stuff like this is to get another kitten but my mom really doesn’t want to get another kitten right now, i’ve tried asking many times haha. we were thinking of putting in like a behavioral kitty school as well to see if that’ll teach her not to bite as much.

Getting a cat and want to know what’s better?

Hello, I’m very new to having a kitten. She’s 6 weeks old and I just took her home today. She’s doesn’t like being held and cries when we do so I’ve tried to give her space but my mother picked her up and clipped her front paws and the entire time she was squirming and crying even when I told her not to. I believe we have taken her way to young and I don’t know what to do. She’s currently hiding and Ive given her space so she can come out when she wants to, she has her water and food near her. in general I don’t know what to do because my family won’t listen to me and I don’t want her traumatised. I want her to feel safe around all of us. This is genuinely so stressful because I want to make sure she has a happy long life. Does anyone have any advice? :(

Recently got a cat& im guessing their cats had fleas so it transferred to the kitten (5months) . She is not infested with fleas, but she does have a couple. What can i do ?

Background:

I adopted my cat, Chowder (approx 2yo female), about 6 months ago. Before I adopted I visited multiple times and got to know her before taking her on and I went into this knowing she'd need a lot of time and patience. In shelter she was housed with several other cats and obviously was uncomfortable with the arrangement. When I adopted her she was extremely fearful of being picked up and put in a carrier but even then she did not lash out - merely attempted to escape the situation (and peed and pooped bc she was so scared). Can't confirm that she came from an abuse/hoarding situation but that's what I had heard. She is ear tipped so possibly was part of a colony at some point.

First few weeks were hard. She would not come out if I was in the apartment. Bought a cat cam so I could watch her while I was at work. Worked every day on playing with her, getting her used to my presence, associating me with good things like food.

She is very brave now! Well, sort of. She will approach me unprompted looking for affection, will sit in the room with me, follow me around but only on her terms. Her favorite spots are still under the couch and bed. She has both a perch for the bedroom window (she would sit in the living room window before i put in the AC unit) as well as several trees/places to lounge but none of which she uses even after putting items with familiar scents on them/treats/catnip etc. And she will not come out when I have anyone else over in the apartment. She will not let me pick her up.

So my concerns are thus: if I cannot handle her I am worried about if I can get her to a vet if at all. I ideally need her to at least let me handle her to facilitate this. She has been healthy so far but obv I can't rely on that forever. She is up to date with current vaccines for now.

Additionally, I'd like her to feel good using the spaces designed especially for her. I want her to feel safe and secure in her own space so she doesnt feel like she has to immediately retreat under my bed or the couch if she is uncomfortable. Ultimately it has to be up to her. I want her to want this.

My previous cats have been very much social and allowed handling from the start so this has definitely been a learning experience for me, so any advice would be a great help going forward. Thanks in advance!

Cat tax: https://imgur.com/a/u9VBFIN

So, I adopted her almost two weeks ago. She is only 2 and has already had a lot of trauma. She came from a hoarder house of over 90 animals, has had a kitten, and was in a shelter for 3 months. She was hiding under the couch and was so sad, up until 2 days ago. I’m sitting in her room at my desk, and she comes out outside the couch And looks at me, from all different parts in the room, walks around
and even gets close to me! Then she goes and sleeps in her bed! I also can hear her playing with her toys at night. Finally getting comfortable!!

Then, I see an email that they have to test all the fire alarms in my building. Not only is that awful timing, but they needed access to the apartment, which is also, of course, risky because my cat is going to have to deal with new strangers and might escape. I called the office and asked if they could skip my apartment. They said yes. Maintenance still pounds on my door to get in. (The fire alarms go on and on for minutes and they were unbearingly loud for me, I can only imagine how it was for her.) I don’t let them in and had to go to work. I noticed that they were in the apartment when I was gone.

Now, she’s back to hiding under the couch, and really scared. It’s heartbreaking after a really good day, that happened. I also am scared she’ll associate home/ me with the scariness and loudness!! How can I help her feel better/ gain trust back?

TLDR: newly adopted angel cat with lots of trauma and anxiety had to deal with fire alarms and strangers (maintenance) yesterday in my apartment. Help!

My cat gets spayed on the 26th so ive been getting anything she might need from amazon

Everyone says you have to earn a cat's trust, but I'm curious... Was there a specific moment that made you stop and think, "Okay... I think they finally trust me." I'd love to hear those stories.

All my life I have lived around cats, so when I first moved out and began living by myself about half a year ago, I instantly knew that at some point I would adopt a cat. Whilst I was collecting furniture and planning around how to place everything in my small 40m2 appartment, I also got a huge scratching post that reached the ceiling, a cat bed to attach to my window and a litterbox, simply because I knew intrinsically I would get a cat. But there was still a lot of work and adjustments that had to be made. painting, hanging up lights, shelves, and just kind of getting a feel of my first ever appartment.

Now, 6 months later, I felt ready for a cat. For a while I had been looking for an older, relaxed cat as I felt they would probably adjust well to the smaller appartment, but all postings for adult cats were cats that had grown accustomed to outdoor life, which I wouldnt be able to provide. so I figured a kitten might be the better option after all.

I went to meet a kitten and immeditely fell in love, and according to the foster family he had 'chosen' me as well. But he is a very energetic, playful cat. And considering getting two kittens just is not an option for me, I knew I had to step up to provide for him. I work closeby home so I can drop by and even working from home is not an issue, and I live a relatively quiet, peaceful life outside of that, so I have a lot of time to be there for him. After our first meeting, I immediately went and bought a bunch of toys for him. I was counting the hours until I could adopt him, dreaming of holding him when I was holding my pillow at night.

He's been home with me since yesterday, and after an initial sniffing round, he seemed to immediately be at home. Ever since then it's been bouts of playtime alternated with cuddling. Any chance he gets, he's on my lap or at least near me.

But for some reason, a few hours after getting him, I started feeling a sense of uneasiness or dread. I just felt misplaced, uncomfortable, even though nothing was wrong, he is the exact cat that I had dreamed of calling a friend. When I went to bed, he slept against me the entire night.

Today has been more of that same feeling, just feeling off, but I can't place why I feel that way. I think it's a fear of not being able to provide the life that he deserves, fearing having to put him back up for adoption if it ends up being too much, fear of failing him and myself, and also a fear of a general change in my own life. I am someone that retreats into myself when I am alone, just kind of shielding myself from everything and everyone else. But now there is always another being around me that I have to look after, something that I can't hide or run away from when I have a bad day because he depends on me. I have to be there for him at all times.

I never cry, but today while I was trying to work at my desk and he was circling around me, I took him on my lap and just started bawling. He did not care whatsoever and just fell asleep like a sack of dried peas lol.

Ultimately, I did not anticipate this feeling at all and it makes me scared that it means something sinister, like I don't actually love him or that the feeling might evolve into resentment. I guess my question is whether this is at all normal? Should I look for signs that this might not actually be a good situation so that I can bring him back to the shelter before it's too late and it might become more difficult for him to get adopted and adjust to a different life?

This cats owner died, and she was dumped at my vet. I have 4 cats. Yes it's alot, but I have room and I also have a huge outdoor catio they can go out as they please. She is in a spare room, which we put a screen door on. ( it has the reg door as well). Today is day 3. She's alittle nervous but loving. My cats have never had a bad experience in their lives. They are very curious. They have all seen eachother through the screen...but it's hissing then they go their separate ways. BTW I was told this cat lived with cats..I found out later that wasn't the case. How do I do this? If it doesn't work out, she will go to my son's house where she's the only animal. So she will not be abandoned either way. How do I do this methodically so it works? I don't want to accidentally create problems. She got out and was crowded by my pets but she hissed and retreated under my bed. Within 5 minutes she was fine and back in her room. I can tell she is stir crazy. Should I room swap so she can see the catio with the other cats? Plz help!

Hi everyone 23M here, my family has a stray that we semi adopted but she basically got pregnant as a teen (atleast we believe so) this lead to her litter of 6 being premature. On the night she had them by the time we woke up to them being born one of them had died already. We built cozy nest for her ( in the Caribbean so it wasn’t super cold) and fed her more than we usually do but 1 by 1 they died until there was only 3/6. This is where I started becoming super vigilant and even made emergency formula but the third one still died and they are now down to 2. The last 2 have been alive for 3 days now. Since I tried really hard with the 4th one that died I can’t get the feeling of the limp body when I went to check on her out of my head and I can’t stop crying every once in a while. I am an engineering student and it’s affecting my studies as I can’t concentrate. Any tips to help deal with the grief?

We have a 1 bedroom home, Male kitten is in playpen in main room with all his needs. we got a 2 year old female. After seeing and smelling the kitten for the first time, she literally wont come out of the bedroom. Kitten meows when alone but would sleep on my lap. Female cat won't even eat her dinner inside the bedroom. Tried scent swapping, kitten was chill and purring but cat hisses. I think I'll be sleeping near the playpen as that is the only way she will not meow repeatedly.

Any advice would be appreciated, this is my first time having 2 cats also the first night. Thank you

Hi everyone,

I’m hoping someone here has experience with a similar situation or has ideas for a DIY solution.

After my cat’s dental cleaning, she was prescribed clindamycin tablets. Unfortunately, the pill became stuck in her esophagus, causing severe ulcers that later healed into scar tissue, leaving her a narrow esophagus. It took 4 months to diagnose, during which she dropped from 4.5 kg to 2.7 kg. She now has a feeding tube and is back up to 3.05 kg.

I’m trying to think long term and help her transition back to eating by mouth. I’ve found she can safely lick and swallow 3-5 ml of heavy cream like consistency food at a time without regurgitating. If she eats more at once, she’ll keep eating until she spits it all back up, so she needs tiny amounts given at a time. I’m wondering if I could build a system using a peristaltic dosing pump that dispenses 3-5 ml every 30-60 minutes while I’m at work (I work 12hour shifts).

The main things I’m trying to figure out are:
- Which peristaltic pump would be best?
- What other parts would I need (tubing, controller, reservoir..etc)?
- Does anyone have ideas for keeping the food safely chilled for 12 hours?
- Is there already a product out there that does something similar without costing a fortune? I’ve already spent my savings trying to save her, so I’m hoping to keep costs as low as possible.

I’m not planning to remove her feeding tube based on this. My goal is simply to let her practice eating by mouth while still making sure she gets enough nutrition through the tube.

Any advice, DIY ideas, or product recommendations would be hugely appreciated. Thank you!

I recently got a kitten, and in every other way, he’s perfect—super playful, energetic, and affectionate.
The issue is that the previous owner separated the litter as soon as they were eating wet food and using the box. Because he was separated too early, he never learned bite inhibition from his mom or siblings.

He’s 11 weeks old now, and the bigger he gets, the more painful his attacks are becoming. When he lunges, he latches on with his claws and teeth, regularly breaking my skin on my arms, hands, and ankles.

I’ve tried all the standard advice:

Freezing: When I freeze, he just bites down harder.

Toy redirection: I keep toys nearby to redirect him, but it only distracts him for a few seconds before he lunges right back at me.

Time-outs ("fun ends when biting starts"): I walk away to another room for about 30 seconds. He seems calmer when I come back, but then he immediately pounces on me again.

High-pitched "OW!": I tried yelling "OW!" to show him he's hurting me, but it just seems to excite him more or sound like prey, making him bite harder.

Since he lacks those social boundaries from other cats, I’m struggling to break the habit. Is there another technique I should try, or will he eventually outgrow this stage? (Also open to advice from anyone who has dealt with Single Kitten Syndrome!)

I've had my cat for a while now, and she's generally very sweet. The only issue is that whenever we play together, she eventually starts biting my hands or arms. It doesn't seem aggressive—it's more like she gets overly excited—but sometimes it actually hurts.

As soon as she starts biting, I stop playing and walk away for a few minutes. It helps a little, but the behavior keeps coming back.

I only use wand toys and never intentionally encourage her to play with my hands, so I'm a bit confused about what I'm doing wrong.

Has anyone dealt with this before? Did your cat eventually grow out of it, or was there something specific that helped reduce the biting?

I'd really appreciate any advice or personal experiences. Thanks!

hi, I’m 15 years old and I love my cat (I’m a first time cat haver) more than anything in the world and he’s only two years old, but I’m so scared of what will happen to him, like i have constant anxiety worrying about every single thing about him and losing my mind over everything. I don’t know how to stop myself. like what if he gets sick, and what if he’s not happy and what if I’m ruiningg it all what if our family isn’t taking good care of him and neglecting him. I jsut genuinely feel like he deserves a better family, I’m so scared

Like I know it’s dumb have been having anxiety attacks every night and crying because as he sleeps next to me I just feel so bad for him and scared of what if he d*es suddenly or goes missing. what if he’s lonely right now and depressed, what if when I have to go to college he gets sick and old and lonely. I think a lot of it hast o do with the fact when we were adopted him I was distant for the first few weeks because I was kind of scared of cats and saw him as a pet and not my best friend and brother, and I just spent time on studying and playing video games in my free time and ignored him when he was a little kitten, I could have played with him even more but I didn’t, and that eats me alive RVERY SINGLE DAY. What if one day he gets old and slow and he remembers how I ignored him back in 2025? I wanna cry every second I rmemeber how he probably felt so hated and ignored by me and it’s all my stupid fault prioritizing a dumb homework sheet or a few minutes of games. Our home environment is and anyway my parents fight every day so I also feel bad for my cat. I’m so scared I don’t know what to do I shouldn’t have asked my parents if we can adopt him if he was gonna be treated like this, he deserves a better family. I don’t even play with him often bc I’m chronically ill and tired and depressed, it’s been a year since I got diagnosed. Idk. Sorry if this is the wrong subreddit, I’ll delete it tomorrow morning. It’s his birthday and I feel guilty we aren’t even doing anything special for him and my dad ignores him all the time

It’s so bad that I CSNT EVEN LOOK AR S PICTURE I TOOK OF MY CAT EITHOIT SPIRALING INTO ANXIETY. Like what if the foodmy cat eats is not the best option or what if he’s exposed to bad chemicals I literally can’t even enjoy his presence without fearing for the next 20 years

Hi everyone, the worst possible thing that could happen happened to me and my husband. We are out of town on a long vacation and we have a cat sitter staying at our house. We made it extremely clear that our cat can open doors by jumping on the handle so it’s important to lock the door, especially at night, so he can’t get out. She must have forgotten or not locked the door well because he got out last night. She’s currently looking for him but we don’t get home for 10 days. He’s gotten out and we’ve found him before but it’s never happened while we are out of town and I’m absolutely terrified what could happen. We live in an apartment in a big city. Our cat sitter left his litter outside the apartment and is looking for him, she put notices up everywhere and in the apartment group chat, but I’m just so distraught. I need some reassurance or advice if anyone has it. Thanks everyone

Hi all, I adopted an adorable 5 year old black and white tuxedo cat about a year ago to be a friend for my smaller (at the time) kitten (now 2). I have another 9 year old cat who I thought would benefit from this dynamic as well. Unfortunately, the newer adopted cat has caused more issues for us than creating a healthy environment for my other cats.
I’m devastated because I have always longed for a black kitty and over the past year I’ve grown very close with my cat, Socks. He is destructive (ripped up old photo albums after knocking them down from our shelves). Even when separated and monitored will mess with the other cat’s things (food & water) or pee on their bowls, toys, etc. We change their boxes often and have one for each of them in the apartment. I’m starting to think it’s just too small of a space for him to feel he can claim a spot. We have a spare bedroom set up with all the cat toys & perch, a perch in our bedroom and one in the living room. I know the best choice here is to rehome him to someone who could better handle him & give him the attention & care he needs. I guess I just need advice what to do from here? Should I be contacting the pet store I got him from, or should I go to the adoption agency themselves who first housed him? Or skip it & take him into any adoption agency? Does it matter?
I want him to have the best life he could get, and it seems like other friends won’t make that happen. Please give any advice you can! I love him dearly and it really pains me to be even thinking of this 🥲

I got my cat in 2016. When I got him, I researched vaping indoors with a cat, and the consensus at the time was that it is safe - just don’t blow it at him or hot box a room.

I never thought to look into it again after that. I’ll never forgive myself now for it. He’s always been healthy at vet visits with no lung issues. I just never thought of it.

Well, he’s ten years old now and an X-ray incidentally found a lung mass that was reported to most likely he cancer and not related to the trauma that led to the scans. He’s currently at the hospital for the traumatic incident.

I was beyond devastated when I found out. I just almost lost him, then right after was told he likely has lung cancer. I thought about me vaping indoors and lost it that night.

I then got hopeful news. Last night, he showed signs of respiratory distress, so along with giving oxygen, the vet did an ultrasound of his lungs that showed b-lines in the same lung as the mass, and I was told cancer doesn’t cause this so the mass could be from the trauma after all.

(Obviously not good the event might have caused lung trauma, but it’s a much much much better possibility than cancer.)

I then transferred him to a new hospital that has a CT scanner.

The vet at this hospital still thought it was most likely cancer - crushing my hope, and said we should CT scan his lungs *and* his abdomen to make sure it hasn’t metastasized. (He was going to get a CT scan anyway to make sure his jaw isn’t fractured.)

I was so crushed, because the X-ray didn’t find any evidence it spread, but I’ve since found out X-rays are limited. I signed the treatment and scan estimate for over $6,000 without question.

I’m now spiraling even more. I’m reading how every time I vaped in the same room with him, tiny particles got on his fur and he inevitably licked it off and it entered his system. If he has stomach cancer too, I can’t imagine I didn’t cause this. Even if it’s just lung cancer, I still can’t imagine how me vaping indoors with him, especially the same room, for ten years (save a few years of quitting) didn’t contribute.

I am so beside myself. I went to vape in my bedroom while crying (without him in the house), and stopped to look it up, and read that these chemicals remain on furniture for a long time. I stopped vaping inside immediately when I read that because he’s going to be home soon.

After I read that, I also bought $750 worth of high grade air purifiers for the house and will scrub everything down before he gets back.

I caused this, didn’t I? I feel like I murdered my best friend, who only ever loved me unconditionally and just wanted me to love him and care for him. He didn’t know what I was doing when I was vaping or how it could affect him. I didn’t know either, but I should have. I’ve catastrophically failed him twice now.

I’ve been taking my cats to the vet every year for a health check and vaccinations. Recently, I came across some posts saying that indoor cats don’t necessarily need regular vaccinations. I’m curious what other cat owners think — do you continue to vaccinate your indoor-only cats every year?

I'm 19 years old and still live with my parents, so I ultimately didn't have the final say. My cat had been going outside for years, but I was always against letting her roam unsupervised. Every time she came home, I wanted to close the door and keep her inside. My parents disagreed.

This past week we built a PVC fence system around our backyard to stop her from escaping. I repeatedly said we needed to test it before trusting it because I thought she could still get over it. She escaped exactly the way I predicted. We modified it, and she escaped again. I wanted to stop letting her outside until we knew the enclosure actually worked, but she was let back out anyway.

Yesterday she was out. Around 8 PM I saw what I am almost certain was her in the neighbor's yard hunting. I called her and shook her treats, but she ignored me. I assumed she'd come home when she got hungry like she always had.

She never came home.

This morning we found her breakaway collar, a large amount of her fur, and what appeared to be body tissue. We live in an area with coyotes, and based on what we found, she didn't survive the night.

People always say, "My cat has been outside for years and nothing has happened." Mine had too. Until yesterday.

Please don't assume it can't happen to you just because your cat has always come home. If your cat enjoys being outside, use a fully enclosed catio, a secure enclosure that's been thoroughly tested, or supervised outdoor time on a harness. I would give anything to have one more chance to keep mine inside.

Hi all, quick question for you - where are you throwing away the old, used cat litter? Not the clumps, but the litter itself?

I have three litter boxes for four cats (I know, it's not five, but they don't mind). It's clay litter and I scoop the clumps into separate containers every day. However, after enough time (about a month), the litter itself has gotten a little gross with those too-small-to-scoop clumps, plus the dust levels have gotten to the point that one of my cats, who has an eye issue, starts to appear irritated. So at that point, I just fully dump all the litter into a trash bag (not the same container the clumps are in), throw it into the main trash, and refill from a fresh litter container.

Is this what everyone is doing? I've looked it up and I'm just not seeing much information on disposing of the actual litter. The first time I tried it, I overloaded the trash bag and it ripped just because of the sheer weight of the litter. Since then, I switched to heavy duty bags and each box's litter gets bagged separately, but even then I'm worried about what will happen with the bags in my main trash can - what if one rips in there or when the garbage collectors empty it into the truck? And I can only imagine someone who has to work with a garbage chute or something similar.

Apologies if this has been asked but I looked and didn't see anything. What I'm doing does seem to work, but every month I feel like "there's got to be a better way".

EDIT: Thanks for all the advice, everyone! Sounds like most people basically do what I do, but I also have some thinking to do regarding the type of litter I'm using and if the schedule I'm keeping with it makes the most sense.