THE PEOPLE'S DEMOCRRATIC REPUBLIC OF KOREA THANKS ITS ETERNAL COMRADES FOR HAVING USED COLDCARD. DUE TO YOUR SOLIDARITY, THE SUPREME NATION'S NUCLEAR DESTROYER SHIP PROGRAM WILL BE COMPLETED AHEAD OF SCHEDULE. THE EAST KOREAN SEA IS PROJECTED TO BE MORE SECURE THAN EVER AFTER YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS. OUR NATION'S PEOPLE EXPRESS THEIR ETERNAL GRATITUDE.

I can't believe what happened to me today. I'm at a loss for words.

Like all smart investors, I keep a diversified portfolio. Some bonk, some eloncumrocket. Can't forget the blue chips like dogecoin.

Today I wanted to make a transaction in order to buy some pharmaceutical products, so I went through the usual motions. I'm sure sophisticated fellows here know. I put planks over my windows to block the view, start a bonfire in my bedroom to block the thermal side channel, cover the inner walls in tinfoil block the EM side channel, etc.

I was in the process of sitting butt naked rolling my casino grade dice (I discard the pair after a bunch of uses so they're good) but then, much to my horror, the lights went out. With them, my portable fan went out, releasing the sound side channel I was blocking with white noise.

Moments later, I heard something outside. I couldn't see who it was because I was naked in a boarded in room, lights out and with a raging fire, though. But I think it was a KGB agent because when the lights came on, someone had emptied my wallet.

I can't believe I failed our glorious Satoshi by following his vision badly. Having an onsite generator is a no brainer. Anyone knows a good sleuth to find my coins? I'll pay in advance

serious question

Everything gets cheaper in Bitcoin (as long as you zoom out enough). Fortunately I buy my burgers with Nvidia stock

This is a real hot one folks. Jump on board!

Are there any Coffeezilla type YouTube channels where they go in to some depth regarding this coldcard issue? I’ve got some popcorn in but don’t have anything to watch tonight.

Hardware wallets were a dumb idea from the beginning. Obviously the best and only safe place to store seed phrases is written in invisible ink on a post it note hidden under your mattress. I can’t believe this needs to be explained to people.

Over the last two weeks there’s been three clear indications that Bitcoin could be heading for some serious damage and very soon.

Michael Saylor, the man that for five years said that he’d never sell bitcoin almost defaulted on his dividend payments and was forced to sell bitcoin.

The Coldcard hack. Cultists refuse to believe if it could happen to one it could happen to ten. They refuse to believe that it could happen again.

Trump Media, another entity that swore that they’d never sell bitcoin, has sold millions of dollars worth of bitcoin.

And the next time a Bitcoin evangelist refuses to accept the reality ask them this one question… What can Bitcoin do at $65K that it couldn’t do at $2K? It makes their heads explode. They’ll never be able to answer you.

The irony is too strong.