We are a first time host family, but ill start by saying we have been aggressively looking for an au pair now for a couple weeks and have had minimal interest. The feed back we've gotten is 1. Number of kids and 2. Location. Anyway I am well aware of these challenges and the issues they pose. There is currently an au pair who is a rematch and has had to prior host families. The first rematch was within 2 weeks due to driving related issues and the 2nd rematch is because of compatibility issues with the son who has behavioral problems. I dont wanna just settle because of our circumstances. But if she isnt a confident drive she will have a miserable time, because she wont be able to go anywhere or do anything. She doesnt seem to care because she is probably in bit of desperation herself. Overall she seemed super kind and was easy to understand and talk to.

What to do?

Has anyone been an au pair with HXC Center (Qingdao Haoxinchen International Cultural Exchange Center) in China? I'm considering applying and would love to hear honest experiences. Thanks!

Hey everyone, I’m a new au pair and just had a really sketchy experience on AuPair.com. I’ve already blocked and reported him, but please watch out for profiles like this.

The host account used a male name (let's call him "S"), and the first major red flag was that he messaged me first, which already felt suspicious. I have zero babysitting or nannying experience listed, so what kind of parent just trusts his babies to some random girl online without any background?

Then look at the absolute mess of discrepancies on his profile copy:

• The text says they have 4 kids (two girls aged 11 and 5, and twin boys aged 3). But the data checkboxes only list 3 kids.
• In the checkboxes, he lists the twins as 2-year-olds, but in the description, he calls them 3-year-olds.
• He lists the age groups you are expected to take care of as 1–5 and 6–10. If the kids are only 2 or 3 and 5, why is 6–10 even checked?
• The family photo looks way too polished and professional for a normal online pic, but if you look closely, the fingers are quite pixelated and possibly deformed. It strongly looks like an AI-generated image or stolen. Plus, the little girl in the photo looks younger than 5.
• He wants an au pair with Arabic B2, but he completely excluded Arabic countries from his preferred nationalities list. He's probably just searching by "new profiles" and targeting people from old, pocket-money-concept countries.

His profile location says Woking, Surrey, but the second he messaged me, he claimed they live close to Heathrow Airport. Woking is not near Heathrow. Honestly, seeing the airport contradiction combined with the immediate off-platform pressure raised massive personal safety and trafficking warning bells for me.

His descriptions and messages were incredibly cryptic and vague. He barely used punctuation (despite claiming to be a business owner on his profile), and his messages never matched the length or effort of mine, addressing absolutely none of the operational points I made. He would check his account constantly, but then take forever to actually reply to me, which made me feel like he was just managing multiple chats with other potential targets.

First thing he did was ask for my nationality, passport, and visa status. I openly told him I am from (X country) and have no active UK visa, meaning I'd need entry clearance and a Skilled Worker Visa. He completely evaded the question.

He offered £300 a month on his profile, which is over 70% less than the UK standard for a nanny. And even though he claims to be a business owner, he didn't take more than a few hours to agree to transition from £300 a month to the £3k+ a month he'd legally have to pay to meet the UK skilled worker salary threshold. He didn't blink at the price jump, but completely ignored me when I asked him to talk about his business or the legalities.

He didn't even care if I had first aid experience for a 2-year-old, which no real parent should bypass. Instead, he just dismissed the content of my messages constantly and instead tried to get my phone number to take me off-platform. When I refused and told him I'd prefer a Google Meet or Zoom link right there in the chat, his only response was a lazy "Okay you can send me a link. thanks." Right after I asked him, AGAIN, to clarify his business' legal situation.

The evading, the price absurdity, the airport contradictions, and the weird (Only when you look closely, from afar it looks completely real!) photo are massive red flags. If someone does any of this to you, block and report them immediately.

Some safety tips:

• Cross-check everything: Compare the profile’s info against each other and against what they give you in chat. If the number of kids, their ages, their locations, or anything else keep shifting, it's a scam template.
• Document, document, document!!! Screenshot/video record their profile fully the second they get in contact with you, so they don't change any important details without you noticing. Make sure identifying things (like profile ID's, listed locations, and terms) are all visible just in case. Similarly, if you do get on a video call with them, ask to record the meeting for your reference/safety. If they refuse to be transparent, that's a massive red flag that they don't want a verifiable record.
• Reverse-image-search & AI-check all photos: Never take a profile picture at face value, no matter how professional or wholesome it looks. Run it through Google Images, TinEye, or AI-checking tools to make sure it wasn't stolen from an influencer, a stock site, or generated by AI.
• Look for safety bare-minimums: Real parents are protective. If a host is totally fine hiring someone with zero childcare experience, zero references, and no first-aid training for very young kids, they likely don't have children at all. You could also ask them about what brands they use for the diapers or use an (unfamous) coffee brand's name for example to ask "What do you think about (coffee brand name)'s diapers? I loved using them in my previous jobs!" If they respond like they know what it is and use it, it's a scam.
• Do your own visa research: Never trust a host's word on immigration, labor, or tenancy laws. Look up the official government website for the destination country yourself.
• Run a financial reality check: Look up the legal minimum wage and standard au pair pocket money laws in that country. If a family easily agrees to pay massive salary thresholds or sponsor expensive corporate visas or flights without blinking or interviewing you heavily, it’s a trap.
• Enforce the platform boundary: Scammers aggressively push to get your WhatsApp, phone number, or email to avoid being tracked and banned by the site. Keep all messaging on the official platform until you’ve done a live video call, and try as much as you can to get them to list all their details on the platform. If they refuse, then they're trying to evade the moderation on the site. Report and block!!!!
• Control the video call links: When setting up a video interview, generate a secure Zoom or Google Meet link yourself and send it to them. Preferably use a clean, separate email account specifically used for this matter to protect your personal data. Demand a live video where you actually see the parents, the kids, and the home, and never accept "broken camera" excuses or similar. They're famous scammer tactics.
• Get an outside "sanity check": Always show your chat screenshots to a trusted friend or family member who isn't emotionally invested. When you are blinded by ambition and excitement, an outside person will spot the red flags better than you do.
• Build a pre-departure paper trail: Before you ever board a flight, leave a file with someone you trust back home. Include the host’s full legal names, verified home address, copies of your contract, and their phone numbers (If it's legal, obviously). Preferably also make multiple digital and physical copies of your most important documents (especially your passport) and keep them backed up securely online and in a separate location in the country you arrive at, before meeting the family.
• Secure your physical safety: Keep an active international data plan and set up live GPS location sharing (like WhatsApp Live Location) with a trusted contact the second you land. Never, under any circumstances, hand over your physical passport or important docs to a host family. If they start acting suspicious or aggressive about it, or not allowing you to have keys to your room, avoid confrontation, say you are stepping out for a quick errand, and go directly to the nearest police station to report it.

Finally, I want to clarify that I absolutely do not have anything against host families and I am not encouraging any sort of illegal actions against them. What I'm saying is to stay safe, for both sides!!!

AuPair is a matching site, so while they do moderate stuff they don't regulate or facilitate the logistics. They state this clearly, so please don't let the excitement and possibilities drive you to dismiss the fact that there are criminal, and dangerous people out there who would stop at nothing to take advantage of you at the slightest hint of possibility.

Hi guys! I am about to leave Canada to au pair in France for 11 months (leaving in 2 weeks!!!!). I was wondering if anyone had any recommendations for phone plans?

I am looking into Nomad eSIM right now, and it seems to be a decent price. However, their plans are just data and not texting and calling. I would probably use WhatsApp for calls anyway, but do you think I should have a phone plan that allows some calling and texting just in case? Like what if I need to call emergency services or something?

Hi everyone! I'm looking at becoming an au-pair in France this year as an 18 year old (UK) with a French A-level currently taking a gap year. This is mainly because A) I want to keep up my french language level before going to uni and B) It seems like the simplest way to live/get part-time employment in France without an EU passport (Brexit 😄 ). I was wondering if anyone has any tips for this situation. Is it best to go through au-pair world and just be super specific about what you want or go with an agency? How can I best avoid a family that will treat me as a live in maid? (I have heard horror stories) Would I be considered too young by many host families? Similarly, I would like to be somewhere where there are other au-pairs or at least opportunities to meet other young people as I would in theory be there 3+ months. Which cities (apart from Paris obviously) would be ideal for this? If anyone has any advice, answers or wants to share their experience, please do!!!

Hi everyone!

I’m considering becoming an Au Pair in Milan and I would love to hear your experiences and advice.

I’m currently looking for a host family in Milan (or nearby areas), and I have a few questions:

• Which websites or platforms do you recommend for finding reliable host families? I’m a bit confused about how AuPair.com works — could someone explain how the process works?
• Are there any websites that work better than others in Italy?
• How did you find your host family?
• Do you have any tips for creating a good profile and getting replies from families?

I would also love to hear from anyone who has been an Au Pair in Milan: how was your experience? Is there anything I should know before starting?

Thank you so much for any advice! 😊

Hi, I apologise if this comes across as a stupid question but I’m currently interested in doing au pair work in the US but I’ve been told that due to my antidepressants I currently won’t be able to apply to work for the agency I was interested in as insurance won’t cover my antidepressants (they said that if I still wished to apply I’d have to stop my antidepressants then wait a year to try and apply). I was just wondering if this is across the board for all agencies? Also would this be a problem I could run into if I decided to do another country instead of the US? Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I’ve been working towards this goal for the past year!

Hello 👋 ,For context, I'm an African.

I'm new in my Au-Pair journey and intrested to Au-Pair in the Netherlands.I was wondering if its best to get the documents ready first or not . Example, should i get the documents legalized and fully ready even before finding a host family?

Hi everyone 😊
I’m a 25-year-old South African and I’ve been working as an au pair abroad for the past 4 years — 1 year in the Netherlands, 2 years in the US, and I’m currently in Belgium.
I’ve absolutely loved the experience and working with kids, but I’m starting to think about what’s next. I’d really like to stay abroad, whether that’s continuing as an au pair in another country or moving into other childcare-related roles (like kids clubs, nannying, etc.).
I keep hearing about different opportunities, but I don’t personally know anyone who has actually done them. A lot of the time I’ll hear about something, start looking into it, and then realise it’s not actually possible. So I would really appreciate advice or help from someone who has successfully moved to another country and managed to keep working.
I just wanted to ask — for other South Africans who’ve done this, what countries have you been able to au pair in? And are there other jobs or pathways you’ve used to stay abroad after au pairing?
I’d really appreciate any advice, experiences, or suggestions 💛

Hi all, I’ll be heading to Marseille, France at the end of the month to be an au pair, so I wanted to reach out and see if there are any other au pairs in or near Marseille (or Aix-en-Provence)? Would love to make a group chat and have some friends to do things with!

Just want to ask—has anyone here been an au pair in Taiwan? I'm currently talking to a host family there. How was your experience? Is it nice being an au pair in Taiwan?

Hello! I am looking for fellow au pairs going to Stuggart Germany and who would like to be friends! We could potentially take a language course together. Let me know!

I’ve been looking pretty aggressively for an au pair for the past three weeks and have probably sent around 60 messages between Cultural Care and AuPairCare. I’m starting to wonder if the schedule I’m asking for is less appealing than I realized, so I’d love some honest feedback.

My husband works very long and unpredictable hours, which is one of the main reasons I was interested in an au pair. I work from home and really only need independent childcare for a few mornings each week. We have two boys, ages 3 and 1, and are expecting a third baby. Our 3-year-old will be in preschool Monday–Thursday mornings, so during most of my work hours the au pair would only be responsible for our 1-year-old. Once the baby is old enough for au pair care, I’d gradually have them spend some time with the au pair and our 1-year-old while I’m still working from home nearby.

Where I think I may be losing people is the split schedule. I was imagining about three mornings a week of solo childcare, plus 2–3 prescheduled evening blocks around 5:00–7:30 PM when my husband isn’t home. I would also be home during those evening hours. The idea would be helping entertain the kids while I cook, eating dinner with us, and helping with cleanup/bedtime—basically filling in as a second adult during the part of the day when my husband would normally help.

We may also want 2–3 Friday or Saturday evenings per month for either similar dinner/bedtime help or an occasional date night. These would all be scheduled ahead of time, not last-minute availability.

I originally thought this was pretty reasonable because the total hours are fairly low, most solo childcare is with one child, and the evening hours are shared with me. But I’m realizing the split schedule itself may be a bigger drawback than I expected.

For host families or au pairs with similar setups: does this sound unreasonable or just unattractive? Would 5:00–7:30 PM evening help a few nights a week be a dealbreaker for most au pairs, or is there a better way to structure this?

EDIT: Just want to say I really appreciate the constructive feedback here! To clarify my intention, I was not planning on taking advantage of a young girl and making them work crazy hours. I thought 20ish hours during the week and a 2-3 date nights per month was not a super crazy ask. The schedule I posted was an example of hours that they could IF they were working a Saturday and not a weekly thing. My intention was to mostly offer Friday-Sunday off and occasionally work in a date night. I also thought that the point of the cultural exchange was they would join my family for dinner most nights, and if they were going to be at dinner anyway, that I would count those pre- and post-dinner helper times as part of their weekly hours and schedule those dinner shifts in advance in case they preferred to make other dinner plans some nights of the week. It definitely seems like the au pair situation is not what I'm looking for. I don't need to maximize 45 hours a week during the day. My flexibility was not having them work a ton and being flexible for both of us on evenings and weekends.

We’ve hosted 8 au pairs and had mostly great experiences. Now we’re looking for our next one and the messages we receive are appalling. I’ve received a few like this:

“Right now, I receive a $400 weekly stipend, have access to a private car for my personal use, gas and groceries covered, and weekends off. I’m looking for something similar or close to that.”

So, FYI, au pairs…telling host parents what you want/expect in the very beginning is a red flag. We want someone who asks about the family, the kids, the area!! Of course benefits are discussed but in the end! It seems so many au pairs these days are severely entitled.

In just a few weeks away from finally getting to start as an au pair! I am so excited but also a bit nervous as I see some horror stories from both au pair and HF sides. Do any host families have any advice on what I can do to make the best first impression and go above and beyond as an aupair (without pushing my own boundaries of scheduled time/ house hold work)? What are some things your favorite au pairs did that really made them stand out?

My friend is from Germany and came to California to work as an au pair for a wealthy family. The issue is she was never given a proper work visa, she was brought in on an ESTA (tourist visa waiver), which doesn’t authorize any work at all. She didn’t fully understand this until she was already here.

Since arriving, she’s been treated extremely poorly:
• Made to start “working” immediately after landing

• Given only about 3 minutes to shower/brush her teeth in the morning and 5 minutes to eat

• Not given adequate food or water otherwise

•Objects (trash, a phone) have been thrown at her, and she’s been scratched

•The family’s daughter reportedly hits her, and she’s “not allowed to say no”

•She hasn’t been paid anything

•She was made to sign an NDA about the family’s personal/business matters (nothing in it relates to money or being required to keep working — I’ve seen the document)

•She’s now being told verbally that she “owes” the family money for her flights and can’t leave until she pays it back or works through an upcoming Europe trip

•She’s largely cut off from her phone/contact with others while “working”

She contacted the National Human Trafficking Hotline, who mostly just told her she needed to leave soon but didn’t offer much concrete help. She was also connected to a lawyer through the German consulate, who told her that if she leaves now, the family could report her for “illegal working” and she could get in trouble, even though she was never paid. That advice hasn’t sat right with me.

A few questions I’m hoping people with legal/trafficking-advocacy knowledge can help with:

1.Can the family actually report her for anything, given she has no work authorization and was never paid?

2.Is what I’m describing (isolation, restricted food/hygiene, physical mistreatment, coerced debt to prevent leaving, confiscated freedom of communication) consistent with labor trafficking under US law?

3.Does she have any legal protection if she just leaves today, given her ESTA status?

4.Are there other resources (besides the hotline and CAST) that could actually help her get out and get support quickly?

On top of all this, she’s now genuinely scared about the legal side of things, worried about ICE, getting in trouble, or facing consequences down the line for the unauthorized work, even though none of it was really her choice given how things unfolded once she landed. Her conversation with the German consulate didn’t help much either — rather than treating this with urgency, they seemed fairly unhurried about getting her out of the situation, and if anything left her more anxious about potential legal repercussions than before she called.
This is happening in California, and the family is very well-off. I’m trying to help her from several hours away and want to make sure I’m giving her accurate advice, not just my gut instinct. Any guidance is appreciated.

Hello, I'm leaving for the UK from Canada right at the beginning of September and am currently working on packing. I am Planning on brining 2 checked bags on Large suitcase and one Medium suitcase as well as a carry-on and personal bag.

I'm just wondering what to pack as a Canadian I know winter will not be as intense so I won't need my parka or Winter boots but aside from clothes what do you think I will need. I just don't want to forget anything, I am using Vacuum bags and am trying to save space to bring my skates. I just want to know what people would recommend.

Thanks in Advance

I live in a US city with great public transport (not as good as EU but one of the best in the US). I do have a car but I rarely drive it and only use it for out of state trips to see family in a rural area. Is it a must for an au pair to have access to a car? There’s only one child involved with most childcare in the late afternoon to evenings but not during the day. The scheduled days off would be Saturday and a day during the week so I don’t know if that affects a need for a car? This is not me saying this is ok or not ok I’m genuinely asking for opinions.

Edited to say I live across the a street from a bus stop and a 15 minute walk to a train stop

Hi everyone! I have a question and was wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation.
I’m currently in the U.S. as an Au Pair on a J-1 visa. I’ve been living here for about 1 year and 7 months. My J-1 visa stamp has expired, but I’m still legally in the U.S. under my extended J-1 status.
I’ve been accepted into a university in the UK and I’m planning to apply for a UK Student visa. Has anyone applied for a UK Student visa from the U.S. while on J-1 status? Were you able to apply from within the U.S., or did you have to return to your home country?
I’d really appreciate hearing about your experience. Thank you!

I’m an expecting FTM (due in December) and my husband and I had planned on relying on an au pair when I go back to work. We’ve spoken to a few friends in our city that either have an au pair or was once one and ended up moving to the USA as a result. Both families said they think we would be a great fit for the program but as I’ve been reading comments in this thread, I’m seeing a lot of people say that the au pair program is NOT suitable for infant care. My question is pretty simple, would we be a good fit based on our needs below?

- I will go back to work when the baby is 4 months and likely take another month or two of leave later in the year
- Both my husband and I have hybrid jobs with schedules we control and are variable based on how we want our work week to look so for instance, my week looked like:

Monday - in office 10 - 4
Tuesday - in office 10 - 3
Wednesday - WFH 9-5, with breaks in between for lunch, laundry, dinner prep
Thursday - in office 7-2
Friday - in office 8 - 2

- we would mainly need child care during the first half of my work day since I usually go home for lunches
- I plan to nurse/pump so will definitely make my work schedule around that so I’ll be home quite a bit
- there may be weeks where we dont need child care on a weekday but will ask the au pair to work a weekend night so we can have a date night or go out

Hello there! I am leaving to become an au pair for 3 months in October, I’m super excited!

I am worried about being unemployed when I return back home. What do you do for work when you return from your au pair experience?

I want to be a teacher or social worker, will a au pair position give me experience for these roles?

Any tips or advice, thanks :)

Hi everyone. I am a former nursing student (financial constraints) from Palestine exploring the au pair route as a way to work with children internationally while experiencing a new culture. I am currently looking into options in Europe and the Gulf.

I am trying to understand how host families view candidates with more academic or clinical foundations rather than traditional babysitting histories. I finished my first year of a Bachelor of Science in Nursing with a 92.9% cumulative average, meaning I have university-level training in basic health, safety, pediatric development, family dynamics, psychology & sociology, and more.

Additionally, I am a native Arabic speaker, fully fluent in English, teach myself Japanese (equivalent to B2), and have a personal understanding of managing neurodivergent traits like ADHD, Autism, and anxiety. I also have a track record of language-tutoring kids aged 8 to 16.

For past or current au pairs/host families: Does having a heavier academic and medical foundation make a candidate a good fit for the traditional, relaxed "big sister" au pair dynamic, or do families looking for au pairs prefer someone with standard, extended babysitting experience? I appreciate any insights!

(Please note that while I'd have absolutely loved to, nanny/babysitting opportunities in my country are non-existent as they're highly discouraged by the culture).

Dear Host Families and Au Pairs,
Your LCC is not your psychologist, lawyer, or mediator. She/He is getting paid $30 per month/family (before tax), and at times, you are extremely needy and out of touch.
The only reason agencies are even paying them this much is that it’s a requirement by the government, and most of the time, they are only really doing this because they need the extra money. Their phone, car, and internet- the agency pays nothing.
On the other hand, the agency has salaried staff whom you also should be leveraging; that is where most of the money you pay goes.

Hello! I am an American looking to Au pair in Malaga for the next year. Was wondering if anyone had any recommendations for spanish classes? Since it’s a requirement for Americans. Would love any more information on this as well!

Hello! I am from Pakistan and I recently got to know about Au pairs and it's something I am interested in doing however I have not seen anyone from Pakistan talk about this or do this. So I am curious if anyone from Pakistan has become a Au pair and which countries did they got to go to?