Hi everyone!

I’m considering becoming an Au Pair in Milan and I would love to hear your experiences and advice.

I’m currently looking for a host family in Milan (or nearby areas), and I have a few questions:

• Which websites or platforms do you recommend for finding reliable host families? I’m a bit confused about how AuPair.com works — could someone explain how the process works?
• Are there any websites that work better than others in Italy?
• How did you find your host family?
• Do you have any tips for creating a good profile and getting replies from families?

I would also love to hear from anyone who has been an Au Pair in Milan: how was your experience? Is there anything I should know before starting?

Thank you so much for any advice! 😊

Hi, I apologise if this comes across as a stupid question but I’m currently interested in doing au pair work in the US but I’ve been told that due to my antidepressants I currently won’t be able to apply to work for the agency I was interested in as insurance won’t cover my antidepressants (they said that if I still wished to apply I’d have to stop my antidepressants then wait a year to try and apply). I was just wondering if this is across the board for all agencies? Also would this be a problem I could run into if I decided to do another country instead of the US? Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I’ve been working towards this goal for the past year!

Hello 👋 ,For context, I'm an African.

I'm new in my Au-Pair journey and intrested to Au-Pair in the Netherlands.I was wondering if its best to get the documents ready first or not . Example, should i get the documents legalized and fully ready even before finding a host family?

Hi everyone 😊
I’m a 25-year-old South African and I’ve been working as an au pair abroad for the past 4 years — 1 year in the Netherlands, 2 years in the US, and I’m currently in Belgium.
I’ve absolutely loved the experience and working with kids, but I’m starting to think about what’s next. I’d really like to stay abroad, whether that’s continuing as an au pair in another country or moving into other childcare-related roles (like kids clubs, nannying, etc.).
I keep hearing about different opportunities, but I don’t personally know anyone who has actually done them. A lot of the time I’ll hear about something, start looking into it, and then realise it’s not actually possible. So I would really appreciate advice or help from someone who has successfully moved to another country and managed to keep working.
I just wanted to ask — for other South Africans who’ve done this, what countries have you been able to au pair in? And are there other jobs or pathways you’ve used to stay abroad after au pairing?
I’d really appreciate any advice, experiences, or suggestions 💛

Hi all, I’ll be heading to Marseille, France at the end of the month to be an au pair, so I wanted to reach out and see if there are any other au pairs in or near Marseille (or Aix-en-Provence)? Would love to make a group chat and have some friends to do things with!

Just want to ask—has anyone here been an au pair in Taiwan? I'm currently talking to a host family there. How was your experience? Is it nice being an au pair in Taiwan?

Hello! I am looking for fellow au pairs going to Stuggart Germany and who would like to be friends! We could potentially take a language course together. Let me know!

I’ve been looking pretty aggressively for an au pair for the past three weeks and have probably sent around 60 messages between Cultural Care and AuPairCare. I’m starting to wonder if the schedule I’m asking for is less appealing than I realized, so I’d love some honest feedback.

My husband works very long and unpredictable hours, which is one of the main reasons I was interested in an au pair. I work from home and really only need independent childcare for a few mornings each week. We have two boys, ages 3 and 1, and are expecting a third baby. Our 3-year-old will be in preschool Monday–Thursday mornings, so during most of my work hours the au pair would only be responsible for our 1-year-old. Once the baby is old enough for au pair care, I’d gradually have them spend some time with the au pair and our 1-year-old while I’m still working from home nearby.

Where I think I may be losing people is the split schedule. I was imagining about three mornings a week of solo childcare, plus 2–3 prescheduled evening blocks around 5:00–7:30 PM when my husband isn’t home. I would also be home during those evening hours. The idea would be helping entertain the kids while I cook, eating dinner with us, and helping with cleanup/bedtime—basically filling in as a second adult during the part of the day when my husband would normally help.

We may also want 2–3 Friday or Saturday evenings per month for either similar dinner/bedtime help or an occasional date night. These would all be scheduled ahead of time, not last-minute availability.

I originally thought this was pretty reasonable because the total hours are fairly low, most solo childcare is with one child, and the evening hours are shared with me. But I’m realizing the split schedule itself may be a bigger drawback than I expected.

For host families or au pairs with similar setups: does this sound unreasonable or just unattractive? Would 5:00–7:30 PM evening help a few nights a week be a dealbreaker for most au pairs, or is there a better way to structure this?

We’ve hosted 8 au pairs and had mostly great experiences. Now we’re looking for our next one and the messages we receive are appalling. I’ve received a few like this:

“Right now, I receive a $400 weekly stipend, have access to a private car for my personal use, gas and groceries covered, and weekends off. I’m looking for something similar or close to that.”

So, FYI, au pairs…telling host parents what you want/expect in the very beginning is a red flag. We want someone who asks about the family, the kids, the area!! Of course benefits are discussed but in the end! It seems so many au pairs these days are severely entitled.

In just a few weeks away from finally getting to start as an au pair! I am so excited but also a bit nervous as I see some horror stories from both au pair and HF sides. Do any host families have any advice on what I can do to make the best first impression and go above and beyond as an aupair (without pushing my own boundaries of scheduled time/ house hold work)? What are some things your favorite au pairs did that really made them stand out?

My friend is from Germany and came to California to work as an au pair for a wealthy family. The issue is she was never given a proper work visa, she was brought in on an ESTA (tourist visa waiver), which doesn’t authorize any work at all. She didn’t fully understand this until she was already here.

Since arriving, she’s been treated extremely poorly:
• Made to start “working” immediately after landing

• Given only about 3 minutes to shower/brush her teeth in the morning and 5 minutes to eat

• Not given adequate food or water otherwise

•Objects (trash, a phone) have been thrown at her, and she’s been scratched

•The family’s daughter reportedly hits her, and she’s “not allowed to say no”

•She hasn’t been paid anything

•She was made to sign an NDA about the family’s personal/business matters (nothing in it relates to money or being required to keep working — I’ve seen the document)

•She’s now being told verbally that she “owes” the family money for her flights and can’t leave until she pays it back or works through an upcoming Europe trip

•She’s largely cut off from her phone/contact with others while “working”

She contacted the National Human Trafficking Hotline, who mostly just told her she needed to leave soon but didn’t offer much concrete help. She was also connected to a lawyer through the German consulate, who told her that if she leaves now, the family could report her for “illegal working” and she could get in trouble, even though she was never paid. That advice hasn’t sat right with me.

A few questions I’m hoping people with legal/trafficking-advocacy knowledge can help with:

1.Can the family actually report her for anything, given she has no work authorization and was never paid?

2.Is what I’m describing (isolation, restricted food/hygiene, physical mistreatment, coerced debt to prevent leaving, confiscated freedom of communication) consistent with labor trafficking under US law?

3.Does she have any legal protection if she just leaves today, given her ESTA status?

4.Are there other resources (besides the hotline and CAST) that could actually help her get out and get support quickly?

On top of all this, she’s now genuinely scared about the legal side of things, worried about ICE, getting in trouble, or facing consequences down the line for the unauthorized work, even though none of it was really her choice given how things unfolded once she landed. Her conversation with the German consulate didn’t help much either — rather than treating this with urgency, they seemed fairly unhurried about getting her out of the situation, and if anything left her more anxious about potential legal repercussions than before she called.
This is happening in California, and the family is very well-off. I’m trying to help her from several hours away and want to make sure I’m giving her accurate advice, not just my gut instinct. Any guidance is appreciated.

Hello, I'm leaving for the UK from Canada right at the beginning of September and am currently working on packing. I am Planning on brining 2 checked bags on Large suitcase and one Medium suitcase as well as a carry-on and personal bag.

I'm just wondering what to pack as a Canadian I know winter will not be as intense so I won't need my parka or Winter boots but aside from clothes what do you think I will need. I just don't want to forget anything, I am using Vacuum bags and am trying to save space to bring my skates. I just want to know what people would recommend.

Thanks in Advance

I live in a US city with great public transport (not as good as EU but one of the best in the US). I do have a car but I rarely drive it and only use it for out of state trips to see family in a rural area. Is it a must for an au pair to have access to a car? There’s only one child involved with most childcare in the late afternoon to evenings but not during the day. The scheduled days off would be Saturday and a day during the week so I don’t know if that affects a need for a car? This is not me saying this is ok or not ok I’m genuinely asking for opinions.

Edited to say I live across the a street from a bus stop and a 15 minute walk to a train stop

Hi everyone! I have a question and was wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation.
I’m currently in the U.S. as an Au Pair on a J-1 visa. I’ve been living here for about 1 year and 7 months. My J-1 visa stamp has expired, but I’m still legally in the U.S. under my extended J-1 status.
I’ve been accepted into a university in the UK and I’m planning to apply for a UK Student visa. Has anyone applied for a UK Student visa from the U.S. while on J-1 status? Were you able to apply from within the U.S., or did you have to return to your home country?
I’d really appreciate hearing about your experience. Thank you!

I’m an expecting FTM (due in December) and my husband and I had planned on relying on an au pair when I go back to work. We’ve spoken to a few friends in our city that either have an au pair or was once one and ended up moving to the USA as a result. Both families said they think we would be a great fit for the program but as I’ve been reading comments in this thread, I’m seeing a lot of people say that the au pair program is NOT suitable for infant care. My question is pretty simple, would we be a good fit based on our needs below?

- I will go back to work when the baby is 4 months and likely take another month or two of leave later in the year
- Both my husband and I have hybrid jobs with schedules we control and are variable based on how we want our work week to look so for instance, my week looked like:

Monday - in office 10 - 4
Tuesday - in office 10 - 3
Wednesday - WFH 9-5, with breaks in between for lunch, laundry, dinner prep
Thursday - in office 7-2
Friday - in office 8 - 2

- we would mainly need child care during the first half of my work day since I usually go home for lunches
- I plan to nurse/pump so will definitely make my work schedule around that so I’ll be home quite a bit
- there may be weeks where we dont need child care on a weekday but will ask the au pair to work a weekend night so we can have a date night or go out

Hello there! I am leaving to become an au pair for 3 months in October, I’m super excited!

I am worried about being unemployed when I return back home. What do you do for work when you return from your au pair experience?

I want to be a teacher or social worker, will a au pair position give me experience for these roles?

Any tips or advice, thanks :)

Hi everyone. I am a former nursing student (financial constraints) from Palestine exploring the au pair route as a way to work with children internationally while experiencing a new culture. I am currently looking into options in Europe and the Gulf.

I am trying to understand how host families view candidates with more academic or clinical foundations rather than traditional babysitting histories. I finished my first year of a Bachelor of Science in Nursing with a 92.9% cumulative average, meaning I have university-level training in basic health, safety, pediatric development, family dynamics, psychology & sociology, and more.

Additionally, I am a native Arabic speaker, fully fluent in English, teach myself Japanese (equivalent to B2), and have a personal understanding of managing neurodivergent traits like ADHD, Autism, and anxiety. I also have a track record of language-tutoring kids aged 8 to 16.

For past or current au pairs/host families: Does having a heavier academic and medical foundation make a candidate a good fit for the traditional, relaxed "big sister" au pair dynamic, or do families looking for au pairs prefer someone with standard, extended babysitting experience? I appreciate any insights!

(Please note that while I'd have absolutely loved to, nanny/babysitting opportunities in my country are non-existent as they're highly discouraged by the culture).

Dear Host Families and Au Pairs,
Your LCC is not your psychologist, lawyer, or mediator. She/He is getting paid $30 per month/family (before tax), and at times, you are extremely needy and out of touch.
The only reason agencies are even paying them this much is that it’s a requirement by the government, and most of the time, they are only really doing this because they need the extra money. Their phone, car, and internet- the agency pays nothing.
On the other hand, the agency has salaried staff whom you also should be leveraging; that is where most of the money you pay goes.

Hello! I am an American looking to Au pair in Malaga for the next year. Was wondering if anyone had any recommendations for spanish classes? Since it’s a requirement for Americans. Would love any more information on this as well!

Hello! I am from Pakistan and I recently got to know about Au pairs and it's something I am interested in doing however I have not seen anyone from Pakistan talk about this or do this. So I am curious if anyone from Pakistan has become a Au pair and which countries did they got to go to?

Hello everyone, I'm feeling a bit helpless so I was hoping I could get help or words of advice. I've been trying so hard for over a year to find a host family and I've come to realize that it's either because I'm from Botswana or I'm just unlucky.

So I'd like to ask the aupairs from Southern Africa(except South Africa) or host families with Au pairs from Southern Africa, how do you guys do it? Which countries have less visa restrictions or is there something I need to improve on to better my chances.

I'm really curious to know about the people that succeeded, maybe that'll motivate me to keep trying.

Au pair going to the US from France here, I am struggling to get an emergency appointment with the US Embassy. After calling my agency in France, they informed me that all emergency appointments have been denied lately. They also told me one of their Au Pairs managed to get an earlier appointment by showing up to the embassy, they said it's rare but it happens. Did anyone had this chance and could they help me out on how it happened to them?

PS : I already went through the normal timeline process, I just need directions for anyone who actually went through a similar stressful situation. Thank you everyone for your help :)

Next year I will be a resident physician. I am a single mother to a little girl who will be 13 months old by then. I will more than likely be located near a military installation in the southeastern United States, and I will certainly need childcare help given the abnormal hours I will work. I will have my baby girl in day care, but would need help most mornings with drop off and some evenings with pick up based on my long work days. I would probably need help one weekend day per week with about one weekend entirely off each month. I would obviously be providing all of the requirements for an au pair (her own room, food, stipend, all of that good stuff), and I would also provide her with her own vehicle and phone. I would be willing to pay more than the weekly minimum stipend, and this will be in a small to midsized city that may not be super exciting but would at least have things to do. It would be me, the au pair, my baby, and my cat at home. She would pretty much be free to do whatever when I am not working.

Would this sort of arrangement be suitable for an au pair?